A Worshipful Heart

Taking it Easy

2009-11-10T19:19:11-08:00

The last couple of weeks have been full. To say the least. Cleaning out my office. My first training trip. My last Sunday at The Brook. Saying so many tearful good-byes. My Dad's surgery for cancer. A wedding. A bad cold. These weeks have been full of emotion and a bit physically tiring as well. It's felt a bit like falling off a hundred foot cliff. Overwhelming is the word I'd use. Tears are always close to the surface, a sure sign that my reserves are very low.

So I'm taking a bit of a break right now. I'm sitting around in my sweatpants and old ratty Alabama sweatshirt, watching movies and eating ice cream. I'm sleeping in and going to bed early. I'm taking hot baths and reading a good book. I'm skipping the makeup and I don't care. To be honest I've not accomplished much of anything the last couple of days. I just feel exhausted and I don't really have the desire yet to write, or to work on curriculum again, or to start raising my support for the Give Worship Project, Inc. I'm just tired, from the inside out, from the top of my head to the tip of my toes. I'm depleted.

The adrenaline rush is over, and I'm left sitting here trying to recover. I know the day will come that I once again feel normal, but that day is not today. It may not be tomorrow. It might not even be next week. But it will come. For today life feels unreal and very alien. I'm not sure how to operate in this new phase of life.

So for now, I will rest. My body. My mind. Even my emotions. I'll take some time to take it easy. To watch a funny movie, to take a nap, to take a slow walk, to read a book, and to not think too awfully hard.

And slowly, over time, maybe I will feel like myself again. And I can adapt to this new reality that is now my life. And I can walk forward into all God has for me.

Change is hard. I can only put my hand in God's hand and trust Him as we walk together one step at a time.

Give Worship Project Goes Global!

2009-11-09T09:46:26-08:00

The Give Worship Project in the Dominican Republic from Jan Owen on Vimeo.

I made this movie to show at church this past weekend. It shows the highlights of my trip to the DR. I hope you'll take a few minutes to watch and get a glimpse of my first trip to train church leaders. For more details on future training trips, visit the Give Worship website.

Thank You

2009-11-06T16:36:48-08:00

These past two weeks have been filled with many challenges. Almost everything around me was unfamiliar - the landscape, the culture, the language. I was trying some things for the first time. They had never provided any training on worship before. We weren't sure what to expect or how things would turn out. Or even if anyone would come!

In short, although I knew I was answering a call of God, I was scared stiff, wondering if I had resigned my job for nothing. My anxiety was very high on the flight to the Dominican.

But you, my dear friends, kept me in your prayers! And you kept letting me know you were praying! And that helped me out so much.

So thank you for praying. And thank you for all the communication along the way. Every day you were on my heart as I texted my status updates to Twitter and Facebook. Every experience made me think of you and wish I could share it with you. I felt like I carried you with me!

Your prayers were a gift. And God answered us! I did not get sick in the DR, I was kept safe, the pastors and leaders all seemed to learn and be excited, and they had safe travel. God went before us where ever we went. I felt His constant presence and I thank Him for all the answers to our prayers.

Here's a passage of scripture that I've been hanging out in lately.

"I will keep on hoping for you to help me; I will praise you more and more. I will tell everyone about your righteousness. All day long I will proclaim your saving power, for I am overwhelmed by how much you have done for me. I will praise your mighty deeds, O Sovereign Lord. I will tell everyone that you alone are just and good." - Psalm 71:14-16

So thank you and thank God! I appreciate your support and friendship so much.

Taking It to the Streets...

2009-11-04T20:03:18-08:00

God touched my heart so deeply this week through this sweet group of men. We are an odd combination - I am a white woman, they are black men. We come from such different worlds - Haiti is, after all, a 5th world country while I live in comfort in an American city. They speak Creole as their first language while I speak English. I've enjoyed many years of education while some of them struggle to write their names and laboriously worked at taking notes.While I have never truly wanted for anything, they face great physical need daily. And while I was driven to DaJabon to our meeting in a nice van, many of them walked for hours, rode in the back of a pick up truck, or came on the back of a motorcycle and crossed the border from their country. And they are senior pastors, where as I've never held that particular role. You might look at us and think we could not be more different. What could we share together that would strengthen and encourage one another? What could we talk about? What in the world could I teach them that they could use in their setting, which is so different from mine?

I don't know what they will take home with them knowledge-wise, but I hope and pray that they will go home encouraged and filled with hope. I hope they will go home knowing someone cares. I hope they have a few tools to try in their church that will help their congregations grow and flourish.

One of the best moments in the workshop with them was when I asked them to tell me what instruments they had in their church. Jonas shared, "A homemade guira. I used a nail and punched the holes in it myself." A couple had a keyboard. One had a flute and a guira.One had a drum. Others had nothing at all. And so I asked them if they had people with good voices and they resoundingly chorused "YES!".

So I said "You have at least two instruments - your voices and your hands. With just this, you can start and grow a worship ministry team." I shared with them how I started with nothing but me at the first church I led in, and how we did not have but one instrument at The Brook when we began. I shared with them that they had more than I had because I was leading white people and "we don't really know how to clap" - and they thought that was very, very funny! I told them - "with a little organization, and taking time to prepare and rehearse, you can have a wonderful worship ministry with what you already have."

You should have seen their eyes light up. This excited them. It gave them hope. As we talked about how to choose songs and put a set together their eyes lit up. They were thrilled to have some new things to try.

In the end I assured them that worship ministry is really all about the heart.....

We ended our time together with a walk to the park in DaJabon for a time of singing. They worked very hard on making a list of songs to do for me. They thought of creative ways to do old songs. While I had envisioned something simple, they took this singing in the park thing quite seriously!

And so they sang.....and I was so touched. Their joy was obvious and infectious.

I don't know what they learned from me but I learned alot from them. And they have made a request of me, and of you, their brothers and sisters in Christ in America. As they held my hand and wished me God's blessings they asked: "Don't forget the church in Haiti. So I ask you to pray for your brothers and sisters in Christ in the country of Haiti.

And now, let me introduce you to my friends from Haiti...Lucceema, Jackson, Hitler, Anul, Icene, Jonas, Lucner, Romano and the rest. Although you won't be able to see them - we were in the dark - you'll be able to hear them. Occasionally you'll see them when a camera flashed! Enjoy meeting my new friends.

Haitian Pastors Singing in the Park from Jan Owen on Vimeo.

Hallelujah! from Jan Owen on Vimeo.

Good Bye from Haitian Friends from Jan Owen on Vimeo.

In the Border Town of Da Jabon

2009-11-02T18:45:52-08:00

Today we hit the road again. John, one of the G.O. Missionaries and I pulled out of the neighborhood with old suitcases filled with supplies. We stopped and picked up Romano (far right above) who would be serving as my translator, and away we went on the road to DaJabon. After a long, dusty and hot ride across some bumpy roasd past rice fields, we arrived in DaJabon in time for market day. DaJabon is a Dominican town on the border of Haiti. Many Haitians cross the border to trade on certain days so the town was full of people hawking their wares - most used, but some new. I learne new Creole phrase quickly: "Non, Merci." (No thanks!)

G.O. Ministries works with several Haitian pastors and churches in Haiti and the pastors of these churches traveled to DaJabon to attend this training. They traveled 5-7 hours each. I was humbled to spend this time with these pastors. Their desire to learn, their questions, their discussions all humbled my heart. I look forward to tomorrow when we'll dig into more of the word, talking mainly about Biblical Foundations of Worship.

Keep praying! Things are going well but Satan would love to distract us and discourage us. Pray for these pastors and their congregations as well.

Thanking God tonight for many things....

- new friends

- being able to share my story and how God has worked in my life

- YOU, the wonderful prayer warriors and friends who are lifting us up to God.

So for now, Buenas Noches and Dios te Bendiga! (Good Night and God Bless You!)

Worship in the Dominican Republic

2009-11-01T19:12:57-08:00

I got up this morning, washed and fixed my hair and face and then donned a dress to go to church. I am not sure I remember the last time I did that, but it actually felt good! We piled into the truck and went to a local Haitian church to worship. We entered a room built of concrete blocks, filled with those same scarred wooden benches, adorned with colored strips of cloth hung as banners across the room. The people's dark Haitian faces wore a sheen of perspiration, as mine soon would as well. The men's white shirts shone brightly in contrast with the darkness of their skin. The women were dressed in simple skirts or dresses and many of them wore a covering on their head. It was oddly comical - and touching - to see everything from actual lace caps to handkerchiefs to bathcloths with Japanese writing on it used as head coverings. One lady wore a beautiful sort of lacy mantilla. She looked so beautifiully modest. I decided then and there that if I ever need to cover my head in worship, I want one of those! The air was hot - it is almost always hot here - and still, as they did not enjoy the benefit of either air conditioning or even a decrepit ceiling fan to cool the air.

And so I sat, with sweat running like a river down my back, fanning my face, and watched, and listened, and learned. As the soft, yet indescipherable sound of their Creole language washed over me, I struggled to figure out when to sit, when to stand, and when to say "Amen". At certain points they would all raise their hands and wave them. I don't know for sure what this was about but I timidly lifted one hand and joined them.

There were four kinds of instruments in this church - a set of drums manned by a serious looking fellow, a guira played by another percussionist, their hands, and of course their voices. The worship leader was a passionate man who had the most joyous expression on his face as he led, his arms spread open wide, or his hands beating out a rhythm, his voice raised in exhortation to worship God. Imagine my surprise when I realized that I knew a song they were singing. It was an old hymn that I used to love to sing. I had not sung it in years but today I lifted my voice and sang in English as they sang in Creole, "He hideth my soul in the cleft of the rock, that shadows a dry, thirsty land. He hideth my life in the depths of His love, and covers me there with His hand, and covers me there with His hand."

As the service proceeded on, I stood to take communion and was surprised to sing several other familiar songs including "When the Roll is Called Up Yonder" and "Just a Closer Walk With Thee". Except for the color of skin surrounding me and the difference in language, I felt for a moment as if I'd reverted back to my childhood when we sang these same songs so often.

Worship, Haitian Style from Jan Owen on Vimeo.

Since I couldn't understand any of the preaching, I had lots of time to talk to God. In the simpicity of that service I felt a freedom I have not felt in a long time. I felt the rest of God.

As we walked out the door and were wished the blessings of God, I felt a deep joy.

It was a good day.

Watch the video below for a taste of what the worship was like:

**All you worship leaders go check out The Give Worship Project. This is why I'm in the Dominican.**

**This post is a part of Sunday Setlists over at www.fredmckinnon.com**

The Night the Lights Went Out in Santa Lucia

2009-10-31T21:29:26-07:00

Today was quite a day. I visited a community that is located within an active landfil. It is controlled by gangs, filled with garbage, and reeks of sewage. I crossed a river filled with sewage, trash and smelled the sulphur coming up between my feet. I held and fed children at the nutrition center. I also celebrated Christmas - on Halloween, no less, with a "Feliz Navidad" party for the neighborhood children. And then, as an afterthought to my day (or so I so wrongly thought), I climbed innocently into the truck with G.O. Missionary Dianne Miller and her translator to accompany Dianne as she went across town to share with some ladies about prayer.

We raced across Santiago (everyone races everywhere here) and got turned around, missed our turn, and got supremely lost. After many phone calls, and after turning around about ten times, and then jolting and careening across unpaved roads with BIG holes in them, we breathlessly - and with many bruises forming - arrived at the church in the community formally called Santa Lucia, but more commonly called "La Mosca". It is called this because it is beside a live, burning landfill. Smoke fills the air at all times. Many people are ill. And because of the landfill, the air is filled with "mosca", or "flies" in English.

As you might imagine, the church in this community is humble. It has about ten simple wooden benches, and down front was a small Casio keyboard and a simple and aging sound system, for which they are very thankful. The warm, humid air was gently stirred by slowly moving ceiling fans. Women fanned away the heat, and children squirmed in their seats. As we began the service two young teenaged girls led us in worship. Even though I didn't know the songs and couldn't understand all the words, I was touched as I saw the women worship and heard them raise their untrained voices in praise. As I worshiped, I felt overcome by the sweetness of the blessing of worshiping with the Body of Christ. Yes, we look a bit different, and we speak different languages, and we live far apart, but we still are The Body.

At the close of the teaching time, Dianne asked us to hold the hand of someone near us and to pray for someone we love. As I bowed my head, expecting to pray alone because of the language barrier, something happened that is apparently very common here. The lights went out. And it was utterly dark. But there was nothing else we could do, and so we bowed our heads, grabbed a hand near ours, and prayed. Not silently and politely, but out loud, and with all of our hearts. We pled with God on behalf of our children and families, our neighbors, our churches. This room of women stormed the gates of heaven with great urgency there in that dark night. And as the woman that held my hand prayed, I could understand these three words: "Gracias Senor Jesus".

As I sat in that hot little room, surrounded by the babel of a language I can only understand snippets of,so far away from what is "normal" for me, I began to praise God. I began to do what I had taught others to do. I began to praise Him for who He is, for what He's done, for His mighty acts, for His creation, and because He is worthy .I began to thank Him for His love, His mercy, His forgiveness, His joy, His peace. And as I lifted my hand in praise to the God of the entire universe, not just my little world in Madison, Alabama, tears began to stream down my face.

Those moments in the darkness were a holy appointment with God. There was something powerful about sitting in utter darkness and praising God out loud. And as a candle was lit and the darkness was pushed away a bit, I saw that our prayers and praise are like that candle. They literally push back the darkness in this world.

Doesn't that just make you want to get down on your knees for someone? Doesn't that make you want to stand to your feet and praise God?

Go ahead....push back the darkness in this world a little bit more.

Passionate to Learn

2009-10-31T08:00:43-07:00

Last night was my class in Santiago. We met in the open air area of dorm so we held the class accompanied by the sound of loud music, cars driving by, and people calling out to one another. I was worried that this would make it difficult to teach, especially using a translator.

But God works all for good, and it was a wondeful class. It was smaller than the othe days, and mainly filled with younger people who are musicians and worship leaders. This was a God thing as this was the class where we discussed how to conduct rehearsals, how to choose songs, how to develop a worship set and even a worship team.

These young leaders and pastors were so hungry to learn, so glad to be able to ask questions, and so passionate about the importance of worship. It was humbling to sit across the table and answer their questions, to hear their concerns, and to listen to their dreams.

As I sat there God reaffirmed to me once again that this is what He has called me to do - to "teach the nations" about worship, to encourage those local leaders as they lead their own congregations, to invest my life in other worship leaders. I once again felt the sweet peace of God flood over me as we talked together.

Please pray for these leaders - that their passion will remain white-hot, that they will continue to grow and that they will honor God with the totality of their lives.

Here's a photo of our group from last night:

Thoughts So Far

2009-10-29T20:58:32-07:00

I have really enjoyed my time with this group I'm teaching here in Santiago. Tonight we had 30+ pastors, musicians, and others desiring to learn more about worship. And in spite of "la professora" being a American woman with a southern accent using a Haitian translator (what a test for him my accent was!), I believe we continued to learn together. It was a lively group and I loved hearing their questions and discussions on issues that concern them. It was great to hear the perspectives of the teenagers that may play or sing in a band and also get the perspective of the pastors present with us. We had male and female, young and old (ages 1 - 68!) and both Dominican and Haitian.

It's so obvious to me that this is a group of men and women who deeply desire to honor God with their worship and their lives. Their questions were insightful and show that they are thinking deeply about the present day dilemmas they are facing in ministry and in their church setting and even in their own walks with Christ. And guess what? They are talking about the same things ministers all across America are talking about.

For example:

- Is one style of music more spiritual than another? Is it okay to use rhythms in the church that are used in secular music? How do I know what is right for my church? Some want the older songs, some like the newer songs. (Does this sound familiar to anyone else?) We had similar discussions on casual vs. more traditional clothing as well. Basically, it was a discussion about change - the churches here are experiencing change we had in the U.S. a few years ago. It was a great chance to discuss what truly constitutes worship - is it just music, or is it the state and intent of our heart?

- How can I, as a pastor,be a mature spiritual leader? How can I guard my heart and life against sin, particularly sin of a sexual nature?

- How can I lead when I feel lonely, hurt, or just tired?

- How do we encourage others to lead?

Some things are so similar to the world of ministry I know so well. And some things are - of course - very different. How can I understand the extreme poverty of my Haitian brothers and sisters? How can I understand the cultural norms of a country I am only visiting? There are things I cannot comprehend that these pastors deal with every single day. I admire them for serving so faithfully.

Yet in these past two days I've felt that common bond - we are all believers in Christ Jesus. We are brothers and sisters in Him. We all desire to worship Him and live for Him. We want to give God our best, but we are still learning how to do that more and more every single day.

And as I stand up and look out at that room filled with so many different, yet beautiful,skin tones and accents, I get one more glimpse into what the reality of heaven will be like. All of us created so wondrously different, yet all for His glory, to proclaim His praise.

I am so thankful for this time here. I am thankful for all God is teaching me. He is encouraging me through these fellow ministers of the Gospel!

For those of you who have given to the Give Worship Project I just want to say a huge THANK YOU. You've made this time of teaching possible. They were excited to receive the books, and desire to grow as worshipers. You have helped strengthen the Body of Christ here in the DR. And I appreciate that so much!

Keep reading - and commenting! I LOVE hearing from you. Tomorrow I'll be visiting "The Hole", which is a community in the landfill. Tomorrow night I'll be teaching my last class here in Santiago - we'll be wrapping up our time with this particular group of leaders. On Monday I'll be traveling to the Haitian border to Da Jabon, where we hope to connect with Haitian pastors from that area.

Signing off for now.....with a grateful and humbled heart.

**A HUGE thanks to G.O. Ministries, who has made this training possible!**

Worship in Any Language

2009-10-28T17:45:08-07:00

Today went really well, considering that most of the churches here don't have an official "worship ministry" and I'd never taught with a translator and I was very, very nervous! We got started a little late, but eventually we had 15 pastors, musicians and church members (including a one year old!) gathered for our first ever Give Worship Project Workshop! Because of the make up of the class we covered the definition of worship, some bibilical examples, and the spiritual journey of a leader. Today we talked about everything from the temptation of sexual sin for pastors to a discussion on loneliness in ministry, to a debate about different styles of music. We had some great discussions and - in case you're wondering - those in ministry here deal with many of the same issues we do in the states! It was refreshing to discuss how some of these issues can impact our own walk with the Lord with this group. I think we all learned something from the conversation.

I captured an impromptu moment of worship this afternoon. See if you recognize the song - we were singing it in three different languages. There were some singing in Creole, some singing in Spanish and then there was me, singing in English!

"I Surrender All" in three languages! from Jan Owen on Vimeo.