aaaagh!

Election time...

2010-04-22T10:54:00.000-07:00

...and all the politicians are canvassing for all they're worth. If you've read more than this post on this blog, you'll already be aware of my feelings towards the BNP.

Anyone who knows me will confirm I'm 'somewhat of a leftie'. Now, I'm not your wishy-washy, tofu eating eating hippy type lefty, but more an angry pseudo marxist anarchist agitator, if such a thing is possible. I'll admit I'm concerned about the Conservatives getting back into government in this country - I was unfortunate enough to have a working class upbringing under their bullshit, self- serving power trip last time. However, I think I could just about stomach it (tolerate is too strong a word) if that shiny-faced cock end of an Eton toff, David Cameron wasn't in charge. He has the sort of face that I just want to punch repeatedly.

Okay so Labour have made a fair few fuck ups, but what's really working against them is that uneducated prats blame them for the recesssion, which is global. Not local, global. Most hilarious of all is Cameron's assertion that Labour should have had more regulation in the banking sector and that they (the banks) should be held accountable for their actions. It's not long ago that Cameron was calling for the deregulation of the banking sector. He simply says whatever it is that he thinks the general public want to hear. Time and time again.

What he really wants is for him and his rich mates to be okay, and fuck the rest of us.

He claims he wants to help 'ordinary working families'. I believe this statement from him is true. "What the fuck!??" I hear you cry. "He's just told us that Cameron is a liar!" Yes I did, but this statement is true, and he really does want to help 'ordinary working families'. The catch of course, is that rich-boy David believes that the definition of the 'ordinary working family' is a family that drives a BMW more than three years old, doesn't have an en-suite in every bedroom, and only owns two houses- the second being 'only a small one in the country'.

Don't be fooled. You put your cross in the Tory box- you can wallow in your own shit if that twat gets into power.

Griffin TV

2009-11-01T02:56:00.001-08:00

And so last week, Nick Griffin, that pop-eyed cancerous polyp on the arsehole of humanity, finally got a slot on mainstream TV. He's since complained that the questions that were put to him weren't asking him about the BNP's views on global warming, or the state of the economy, but instead were all aimed at questioning the BNP's manifesto. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU EXPECT, YOU CUNT?

Considering you are a former National Front member, and a racist, fascist, holocaust denying wanker, people want to know what your real agenda is. Whilst you may fool the more naive members of the public by making all the right noises in terms of the real concerns of many people - immigration, radical Islam and the like, underneath your real agenda is a whole lot more unpleasant. You've hijacked Churchill to serve your own ends, and used pictures of Spitfires in a similar manner (though it's notable that the Spitfire in your ads was from a Polish Squadron - you're so fucking dumb you didn't even realise that) and sadly some people are fooled by it. Just like the Nazis, you gain some popular support by scapegoating certain elements of society for the problems we face. And just like the Nazis, you're a bunch of cunts.

Fascism in a suit and tie is still fascism, just like a dog turd that's been gold plated is still a dog turd. Your thin veneer of respectability doesn't fool me for one moment, and any vote for your party is an affront to the veterans of WWII who sacrificed so much to get rid of excrement like you.

Fuck you and the (doubtless very white) horse you rode in on.

Vacuum cleaners

2009-07-26T03:07:00.000-07:00

A mini catalogue for Argos dropped out of my paper yesterday morning.

Browsing through it, I noticed a page full of Dyson vacuum cleaners. The cheapest was £189.99, the most expensive was £303.49!!! What the fuck???!!!

There is no justification, ever, for anyone to spend three hundred quid on a vacuum cleaner. People buy them because they think they need them - the 'more expensive = better' mindset. You can buy a vacuum cleaner for fifteen quid or less if you look. Yes, the Dyson may be better, but is it £285+ better? I don't think so.

For three hundred quid it should have a small black hole inside it and be capable of vacuuming up small children and pets. Instead, for your money you get a gaudy plastic monstrosity that looks like a child's toy made by Fisher Price.

Where is the extra cost coming from? Perhaps it has more parts, I don't know, but they're still being turned out in the same type of factories in the far East by the same poor sods working for next to fuck all as the rest of them, so as far as I can see, Dyson justify it purely by their name being on it.

I used to be a postman, and I was always delivering spare parts to people on my round. Does this suggest that they're unreliable? Most people I know who have been naive enough to buy one have raved about it at first (perhaps justifying the purchase price to themselves) but have nearly all turned to saying how unimpressed they were in the long run.

Dyson? I shit 'em.

Additional: I just had a look at the Argos website, and there's an even more expensive model on there, for the bargain price of £342.99!

Euromillions

2008-02-08T11:35:00.000-08:00

Okay, so it's a 77 000 000 - 1 chance or so, but it's a chance nonetheless.

To win ninety-five million bastard quid!

I'm not going to be the lucky bastard winning it however.

The site crashed and I couldn't buy a ticket.

Fucking internet pixies interfering with my best laid pension plans again...

The BNP

2006-09-10T02:43:00.000-07:00

For those who don't know me- I'm a postman. That's for clarification, just to put this next comment in context. The BNP, for those who live outside Britain, is the British National Party. A bit like the nazis, only with more denial and claims of 'We're not racist'.

Anyway, during the course of my job, I get a lot of stuff sent to PO boxes. Amongst this stuff is response cards- the kind of things you get in a DVD or video game that asks you what kind of films or games you like, how you rated your purchase, etc. Basically, the makers of the product want to get you on their mailing list. Obviously, I'm not going to tell you the company name here (or even give any clues), but it's a film distributor. Not one I actually know well, but that's by the by. That's all you need to know.

This is going somewhere, honestly.

Now, I get a lot of these cards, and most are filled in perfectly normally.

However...

Over the last few days, I have seen three or four of these cards with 'Vote BNP' emblazoned across them in thick black marker pen. There are also comments, about which I 'm not going to go into into too much detail here, but claim that muslims are responsible for killing the film industry by pirating movies (whilst this may be true, there are plenty of non-muslims doing it too). The comments also claim that Islam is a 'perverts religion' (I really don't know where that is coming from, or going to for that matter), and there are several other derogatory comments about the prophet and Islam in general.

What I did note however, was that the space for the sender's name and address was blank. Typical, isn't it? The people who are spouting this shit haven't even got the balls to put their name to it. No fucking spine, that's their problem.

Arseholes like the BNP merely serve to stir things up, giving fuel to the fundamentalist minority out there. The fundamentalists use this sort of stuff as proof that the British people hate muslims, thus recruiting the disaffected to their cause. One bunch of nutters fires up the other, and vice versa. Most folk, whateever their religion, just want to on with their lives. I know I do.

I'm no bleeding heart liberal or wishy washy hippy either, in case you were wondering, far from it. I'm an atheist, and find the concept of religion rather odd, whatever flavour it is. I'm just fed up of spineless cunts with testicles the size of currants trying to stir things up from their little holes in the ground, too afraid to show their faces openly.

As a footnote- I'd also like to point out to the BNP, who have an intense dislike for immigrants (but aren't racist-ooh,no), that the people of Britain are largely the decendants of immigrants, full stop. There are doubtless a tiny minority who remain pure bred Briton, but here's the fucking news: Most of us are foreign to these shores, one way or another. Angles, Saxons, Romans, Vikings- rest assured BNP folk, you've got some foreign blood in you somewhere or another. If there was ever a race of arseholes, you would doubtless descend from them.

Cunts. Cunts. Cunts. Cunts. Cunts. Cunts. Cunts. Cunts. Cunts. Cunts. Cunts. Cunts.

Intelligent design

2006-08-16T09:10:00.000-07:00

So called 'Intelligent design' is one of many crackpot religious theories that basically try to explain our existence. Realising that creationism is clearly a big pile of shit (the several hundred million year old fossils in the ground make any attempt to claim the earth is only a few thousand years old rather spurious), the religious loons came up with this alternative.

In very simple terms, they attempt to rubbish evolution by claiming that the evolutionary changes in any organism could only have been triggered by a guiding force (God), and could not have occurred over time by natural selection, as this process seems very random.

HOWEVER...

By that rationale, God himself could not have simply 'occurred', and must have been created by some other being, as his existence could not have happened by chance either. AND the hand that helped there, must have had a hand in its own creation, and that hand must have had help...

ad nauseum.

Bunch of cocknobs.

Cheating Italian Cunts

2006-06-26T09:55:00.000-07:00

Italy vs Australia in world cup second round.

That was not a penalty - that diving cunt should have been sent off.

Wankers. If the only way you can win is by cheating, then you're a bunch of cunts.

Jimmy Choo...

2006-06-12T11:05:00.000-07:00

...you're a cunt and your shoes are overpriced shit.

Doctor Gillian McKeith

2006-06-01T08:28:00.000-07:00

Who?

She's the demented, skeletal, poo-obsessed diet dictator from Channel 4's 'You are what you eat'.

She browbeats people into changing their diet for the sake of their health. Sure- a great idea in theory, but you can go too far. You need an occasional treat.

She claims to be 46, but looks like a seventy year old pretending to be younger. Her mouth looks like a shrivelled up ringpiece. If you truly are what you eat, then Dr. Gillian has been eating dessicated corpses.

She also has an unheathy obsession about prodding samples of people's shit about and sniffing it, to diagnose their problems. That's just not right.

46 my arse.

Spamfucks II

2006-05-08T09:53:00.000-07:00

They're still at it, you know.

I got an email off someone telling me to remove him of my email list.

I repilied to him, explaining how my domain name had been hijacked, and how every time he replied to a spam, it goes to an innocent party like me, adding to their email load.

Of course, it's worth remembering that occasionally the spammer will use a genuine address, and every time someone 'unsubscribes' from his list, it simply confirms that the target email address is live, and they send more. Then sell your email to some other bastard so they can do more of the same.

Die die die.

Spamfucks

2006-04-16T07:12:00.000-07:00

Okay, so spam pisses us all off. This is worse.

Someone has hijacked one of my email addresses and is now using it as the source address to send out their spams to people worldwide. Whenever their list has an address on it which is no longer active, or bounces their email for some other reason, it comes back to me.

Fucking bastards. Not only do I have to put up with what they already send me, I now have to deal with their fucking rejects.

For those of you with spamkillers, please don't ping spam back to its sender- most, if not all of it is sent using hijacked addresses. Those of us who have had our email abused in this way don't fucking want it either.

As for the spammers, there should be an international law that means they have to be kicked to death in a packed football stadium.

By monkeys wearing steel-toecapped Doc Martens.

Wankers.

Low-end flash cars

2006-04-14T09:17:00.000-07:00

'What is he on about?' I hear you ask.

I'm on about people who buy low-end, 'cheap'-model BMWs and Mercedes cars.

What's the point? If you buy a BMW or Mercedes or whatever, you are buying it because it's a luxury car. Why spend a fortune on a low-end cars that cost a fortune, just so you can say 'Look- I own a Mercedes'?

No one is impressed.

Why not spend the money on a higher-specced Ford or similar? The badge may not be there, but the experience will be nicer, and no-one will look at you and think, 'look, that bloke has a base model flash car- what a twat!'

Don't believe that the badge instantly makes you cool. Top end luxury motors denote lots of money, low-end ones make you look like a wannabe. Buy an older one if you have to, just get a decent one.

Also- don't buy a BMW- they may be good cars, but if you own one, irrespective of what kind of person you are, other people will automatically assume you're a cunt.

Audis are better looking anyway.

Another point- why spend a fortune on a flash car, then get a diesel version? If you're that cost conscious, you should have bought a cheaper car for a start.

In short- if you insist on buying a flashy brand car, buy a proper one.

Fly tippers.

2006-04-11T07:02:00.000-07:00

If you can be bothered to sneak about in the dead of night, just to dump an old sofa and fridge in the middle of a layby, why the FUCK can't you just drive to the tidy tip and dump them where they belong?

You lazy cunts.

If you're a tradesman dumping your rubbish, like the piles of roofing debris, or the bathroom suite and plumbing I had to navigate my way round recently, you should take that to the fucking tip as well. Yes, I know full well that authorities charge for dumping commercial waste, but that's no excuse - charge your customers a bit more.

One really has to wonder where else you fuckers are cutting corners. I wouldn't trust you bunch of ignorant half wits to fix anything in my house, that's for sure.

Wankers. I hope someone dumps their car on your front lawn and burns it out. See how you like it.

All of you, keep your shit to yourselves instead of expecting someone else to clean it all up for you.

Twats.

Big Sunglasses

2006-04-09T09:47:00.000-07:00

Why?

For Pity's sake, WHY?

Why would anyone want to wear these monstrosities?

Some clever cunt somewhere has decided that this year, sunglasses should be BIG. And we are talking e-fucking-normous here. Many of the designs look like people have two black dinnerplates attached to their face.

Take Victoria beckham as an example- if she wasn't weird enough with her skeletal frame and peculiar dress sense, she tops it all off by adding a pair of glasses so big that she looks like something that fell out of a flying saucer.

For fuck's sake, what's wrong with you people?

Another good example is Oakley, the sunglasses manufacturer. A couple of years back, their glasses were pretty svelte and nifty, now their product range is full of ugly-looking shit that no-one with any sense would wear in a month of sundays.

Stop listening to people who tell you what to wear, no matter how stupid it looks, and judge things for yourself.

Fuck fashion - get a mind of your own.

Back again...

2006-04-09T09:45:00.000-07:00

I couldn't resist it.

So many things piss me off that i just had to start writing about them again. It's been a long time, but I'm back now.

Get over it.