Today I am reading Linchpin by Seth Godin and I came across an interesting passage that compelled me to stop and write. As I mentioned in my earlier post (rethinking personal development) whenever I stumble upon something that strikes me I stop and put the lesson into action.

This section was short but posed a great question that I never really though about until now.

Where do you put the fear?

After reading this section I spent time thinking back to all the situations that have paralyzed me into not taking action. Such as: not approaching strangers, not taking risky opportunities, not challenging myself, agreeing when I don’t agree, etc.

I found that in those situations I put the fear right in front of me and let it stop me dead in my tracks.

Next time you find yourself in a situation you are afraid of…try to stop, recognize the fear and put the fear behind you. I can’t give you a guaranteed method for doing this because everyone has a different approach to facing fear. My approach will be to recognize that I am afraid and consciously take action in spite of the fear. I will keep a record of all these moments to evaluate if I am facing my fear and putting it in it’s place. I’ll call it my fear journal. Feel free to try the same and if you have any suggestions feel free to email me at aaron.madonna@gmail.com.

Nihil Timendum Est

- Aaron Madonna

Over the past 6 months I have traveled to places that I never thought I would go.

For 4 months I lived in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

Everyday was a new challenge as I didn’t speak spanish, I had never lived in a big city, and I didn’t have any family around.

Luckily I had two of my best friends there with me. The trip would not have been the same without them.

Of course we did the hostel thing for a while but eventually we grew tired of that experience and found an apartment in one of the most popular neighborhoods in the city. Once we found our roots we connected with a few other expats and carved a new life for ourselves.

I discovered that living overseas is a possibility and it is something that I enjoyed more than living in the states. I missed my family and friends here but I have never had more fun in my life.

I wish I could post all the pictures here but that would easily max out the little bit of storage I have available.

What I learned from the experience was that I could live outside of my comfort zone and thrive. I was afraid that I couldn’t afford the trip, wouldn’t like living out of the US, and wouldn’t be able to connect with others. But oh oh I was so wrong on all fronts.

I challenge anyone reading this to take the same chance I did. Living in another country is one of the most rewarding experiences I have ever had and I will be structuring my lifestyle to do this forever.

I also had the chance to Nicaragua. It was the first time I had ever gone to a country with a high level of poverty. As you would expect the experience was life changing. The people and the country are so beautiful but also very poor. Despite their poverty the people seemed happy with life. Coming from the USA I couldn’t imagine living in the conditions they had to endure and have learned to not take as much for granted.

Overall the trip was life changing and I have officially caught the travel bug. To see more about our trip to Nicaragua please visit the LifeSoap website here http://www.lifesoapcompany.com/nicaragua/

If I get a Flickr account I will post the Buenos Aires pics, but I want you to know that world travel is possible and please open your hear to the opportunity of having an adventure that could change everything.

Go forth!

- Aaron Madonna

Big Big News!! Our company LifeSoap has been featured in Oprah Magazine! Here is a scan of the full article:

Do you remember the last time you were in the self-help section of Barnes and Noble?

All the answers to all of life’s problems are right there for you on a shelf. How to be more confident, how to start a business, how to become a sexy beast, how to yada yada yada.

My point is that people spend thousands of dollars on personal development (me included) for the hope that a book has the magic answer. After reading many personal development books I can say that many offer the exact same advice that has been pitched throughout history. A few things change based on technology of the time, but at the core…human behavior has not changed.

So why do we spend so much money on personal development?

Because we want to be “better.”

I recently read an article that pretty much flamed personal development and the writer was a personal development author. His main argument was that people form an addiction to personal development because they never feel they are good enough. He argued that we will never be perfect, so why waste so much time trying to be perfect?

Thinking about it, I asked myself why I study so much personal development. Sure there are things that I can always learn but when is it enough?

More importantly…

Have I put anything into practice that I learned from this book?

I found myself rethinking personal development this week.

Previously I was reading one book per week on personal development and feeling really good about it. But when I try to share what I’ve learned from the book with others I often draw a blank.

What I failed to do was practice what I learned in the book and without practice there is no retention. The knowledge is there in my head but without using it, it is forgotten.

I’m changing that now and I want to share my plan with you so you can think about your approach to personal development.

1. Take better notes on key lessons learned throughout the book.
2. Don’t start a new chapter until I have practiced the lessons learned in the first chapter. If you are like me you like to finish things fast and that is not a great approach for implementing change.
3. Organize which areas of my life I am working on. You can have anything but you can’t have everything all at once.
4. Focus on one area of change and ignore the rest until I have reached my goal. Create an action plan.
5. Talk with friends and family members about what I have learned. We retain things better when we have to share them with others. Remember group projects in school?

There is no point in reading and wasting hundreds of dollars on trying to improve your life when you don’t use the lessons. If you don’t practice then you won’t change.

Ture change moves very slow. It’s like the development of a good story. There is a strong beginning, a middle that keeps you engaged, a climax that rewards you for sticking around and then a resolution.

Speaking of resolutions… New Years is coming up soon and everyone is talking about how they will be better. I’m all for talking about it and sharing but I know that 90% of the people who say they are going to change, don’t. The reason is they expect results to happen quickly and when they don’t see results fast enough they quit.

Manage your expectations and be willing to be patient for the change to manifest. The best way to do so is to plan actions and not results.

Most New Year’s resolutions are about getting fit. Instead of planning the result of being fit, start emulating the actions of fit people. Develop fitness goals that revolve around actions such as doing 1 ab workout every other day instead of saying you will have six-pack abs. From there you will make change by sticking to an action and not getting discouraged by a daunting end result.

I hope this has been helpful. Don’t give up on personal development and making change in your life. Take some time to think about your approach. You may find that you are spinning your wheels by studying too much.

-Aaron

Lately I’ve been struggling with sorting through what I want for my life and the what others expect for me. I find it’s difficult to decide where you want to go in life when you don’t want to disappoint friends and family. So I spent some time reflecting on a few big questions.

There are many things I am pursing right now and I feel like my attention is being split, therefore making me less effective. My heart is torn. There are projects I want to pursue that would keep me from things I am already committed to.

Where do you draw the line? How do you decide what’s most important? Would you sacrifice good relationships? 

I am a very giving person. I have no problem giving freely to others and that is something that I won’t change. But I feel like all my life I have been sacrificing the things I want for the benefit of others.

I wonder if not pursuing all my dreams comes from a lack of confidence in doing things on my own or focusing too much time on what others want? In choosing my own way of living…how much do I impact the people that I care about? 

Are my goals just an attempt to prove something to myself? How much is enough and what do I do when I reach the finish? When will I feel successful?

Am I afraid to be who I am? Am I afraid to be what I want to be? Am I afraid of what others think? 

In a life that is so short how do I stop to enjoy the moments? Is there a sense of urgency to do all the things I want? Are those things my own desires or another’s? 

I hope these questions give you some tools for reflection.

Thank you for reading.

- Aaron

Today I read The Tower by Chris Guillebeau. It is a short report discussing the topics of urgency, relationships, legacy, work and creativity. In the report he poses two questions that he asks himself every morning

• What am I making today?

• Whom am I helping today?

These two questions struck a nerve with me. Never have I thought about putting a day in this perspective. Waking up I usually think about what I have to do. I find myself in a perplexing situation. Have a wasted the last 10 years of my life thinking only about myself? I’m sure that somewhere in my to-do list there was something in there about helping others and making something. But I really like the clarity of these two questions. Tomorrow I will start building the habit of asking myself these two questions and report back after some time on the effectiveness of asking these questions.

Chris Guillebeau’s new report is a great read and can be found at his blog The Art of Non-Conformity. 

“Spend time every day listening to what your muse is trying to tell you” -Saint Bartholomew

What is your heart telling you? What direction do you want to head in life? Is this the life you asked for? What would you do if you couldn’t fail? Your days are limited…are you spending them wisely? You’re not as young as you used to be. Did you do your best? Why do you care what that person thinks? Who do you think you aren’t? How dare you let someone tell you what you can and can’t do? Who are you not to be brilliant? Why are you scared of what they think? What are you afraid of? Are you ready to be better? Who can stop you? Where are you going? Why are you doing this? Are you listening to me any more? Why didn’t you finish? What happened to that goal? Did you forget about what you promised? Who says it won’t work? What do they know any way? Did you do what you said you would do? What matters the most? What do you dream about? Who can you live without? Do you think they really care about you? Why are you so sad? Aren’t you thankful to be alive? How could you not be happy? When are you going to get started? When are you going to finish? Will this be a masterpiece? Are you afraid to fail? What’s the worse that could happen? Don’t you think it’s your time?

Just a few questions from my muse.

-Aaron

Over the past few months I have been working on becoming a patient person. Here’s why.

As an impatient person I have made many mistakes. I have gone into debt because I couldn’t wait long enough to save and buy the things I wanted. I have missed out on opportunities to form lasting relationships. I threw away ideas to make money because I thought it would take to long to realize them.

It’s safe to say that being impatient has had a negative impact on my life. During this past May I decided to make change by taking the following actions.

1. Destroy all my credit cards

This was a HUGE step for me. In the past I always had a few credit cards. Most of the time I would never use them. Then something would come out that I wanted… And boom I would max out a credit card to buy it. Then I would be stuck paying of the card and damn near paying double for the item I wanted so bad. Cutting up my credit cards worked because I was no longer tempted to use them. They didn’t exist. If you are worried about emergencies and having funding you may want to spend some time working out a savings plan or a plan for one credit card that you can’t use until you have exhausted all funds.

2. Stop binging on TV

Don’t get me wrong. I love a select number of TV shows and I only watch those shows. However, TV binging is terrible. It wastes time and tempts you to buy.

No one is immune to commercials. After seeing enough commercials…you will feel you are inadequate in some area of your life. It could be beauty, financial, love, fun, adventure, action, etc. Binging on TV had a tremendous impact on my spending habits. I always wanted the newest gadgets and after seeing them multiple times on TV, I could no longer wait. I went into debt to have them. TV made me want more instead of being happy with what I had or saving up to get it.

3. Practice yoga

Big. Big! BIG! Yoga has been a powerful force in my life. Lately I have not been doing yoga and I can see the difference. When practicing yoga I have a different life flow. I have better breathing, better blood circulation and have a positive mental state. Yoga is all about harmony. It is a very slow, methodical exercise and it has helped tremendously with my patience.

4. Skip the fast food

Sitting down for a meal takes time. Time that most of us don’t think we have. Have you ever stopped to think about the benefit of doing so? Sitting down and having a meal has greatly improve my life. It has helped me to lose weight, build relationships and become more patient. Fast food is bad for diet and lifestyle. It allows you to be lazy and impatient. Make the time for more sit down meals. They could save your life.

5. Establish a routine

I believe having a set routine is more effective then planning out your day the night before. It’s all about consistency and habit building. Having a routine helps you become more patient because you know what to expect. When you can manage your expectations you can enjoy life more instead of worrying about what’s next and if you’ll have time for it.

6. Plan Actions Not Results

This is huge. You have direct control over the actions you take. You may expect a certain result…but it is not guaranteed. Patient and happy people plan their actions because that is where they can have an impact.

I hope that you have gained some ideas from this post. I am still working on my patience and trying new things. So far these are the things that have worked best. You won’t change over night. Implement things slowly and be patient :)

-Aaron

Just heard some great news. Our company LifeSoap has been featured in Denver’s 5280 Magazine. Our blurb appears in the Holiday Gift Guide as a recommended stocking stuffer. Pick up a copy and check us out on page 36!

“Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.” ~James Dean

How far would you go to make your dream come true?

Lately I’ve been thinking about where I should live during the next phase of my life. I’m currently living in Buenos Aires and loving it. However, my time here is coming to an end and I will be returning to the US.

My hometown is Denver, CO and I love it there but I’m not convinced it’s the place for me to stay. Whenever I go home I tend to fall into a state of inactivity. Maybe it’s due to being home or some form of subconscious excuse for laziness.

There is something special about being away from home and being forced to make it on your own. I wonder if that’s why there is a cluster of people who leave to live in New York or California.

I heard once that dreamers live on the edge. I guess they meant literally. I’m not sure where I will end up in the next few months but I don’t plan on being stagnant.

What’s your dream? Are you going after it?

-Aaron