Aaron's Board Of Bad

The Bitter Tears of Petra Von Kant (1972)

2011-07-08T19:12:00.000-07:00

Starring: Margit Carstensen, Hanna Schygulla, Katrin Schaake, Eva Mattes, Gisela Fackeldey, Irm Hermann First, the Lowdown: A egotistic fashion designer has a torrid affair with an aspiring model. Petra von Kant is a famous German designer who has wowed the fashion world with her inspired designs and audacious personality. Behind the scenes, she is brutally cruel to her assistant, Marlene

My Trek of the Stars, Part 14: Court Martial

2011-07-03T19:20:00.000-07:00

Guest Starring: Percy Rodriguez, Elisha Cook, Joan Marshall, Richard Webb, Hagan Baggs, Winston De Lugo First, the Lowdown: Kirks accidentally wanders into a “Perry Mason” episode, and can’t remember how to get out. So, the Enterprise is drydocked at Starbase 11 after drunkenly swerving through an ion storm and Kirk is debriefing with the base commander, Commodore Stone, while nursing a

2010-09-10T21:39:00.000-07:00

The Thing (1982) Starring: Kurt Russell, Wilford Brimley, TK Carter, David Clennon, Keith David, Richard Dysart First, the Lowdown: An Antarctic research station is invaded by a shapeshifting alien. Paranoia ensues. In the cold reaches of the South Pole, a sled dog is being pursued by two men in a helicopter – who are also shooting at the poor creature as it runs away. Meanwhile, the

My Trek of the Stars, Part 13: The Galileo Seven

2010-09-05T16:14:00.000-07:00

Guest Starring: Don Marshall, John Crawford, Peter Marko, Phyllis Douglas, Reese Vaughn, Grant Woods First, the Lowdown: Spock, Scotty, and McCoy reenact Gilligan’s Island. Welcome to Murasaki 312, the plot-convenience nebula. While en route to Makus III, the Enterprise stumbled across the anomaly and, since the future is filled with science, has stopped its important mission to deliver

Sophie’s Choice (1982)

2010-07-31T21:01:00.000-07:00

Starring: Meryl Streep, Kevin Kline, Peter MacNicol, Rita Karin, Stephen D. Newman, Greta Turken First, the Lowdown: The subject of a young writer’s crush tells him more than he bargained for. Young Stingo has arrived to New York City from the South – full of dreams and aspirations. His current desire, to become a writer – but he knows his youth and the quiet, unchanging life on his farm

My Trek of the Stars, Part 12: The Conscience of the King

2010-07-19T22:05:00.000-07:00

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The Day The Earth Stood Still (1951)

2010-06-28T22:58:00.000-07:00

Starring: Michael Rennie, Patricia Neal, Hugh Marlowe, Sam Jaffe, Billy Gray, Frances Bavier, Lock Martin First, the Lowdown: A man from outer space comes to Earth and tells us to make with the peace already! At a remote Army base, radar technicians detect a large object that is moving at incredible speed. Soon, all over the world wires are buzzing about the craft with no means of

My Trek of the Stars, Part 11: Miri

2010-06-25T22:11:00.000-07:00

Chinese Roulette (1976)

2010-06-09T20:57:00.000-07:00

(Originally released as Chinesisches Roulette) Starring: Anna Karina, Margit Carstensen, Brigitte Mira, Ulli Lommel, Alexander Allerson, Volker Spengler First, the Lowdown: A disabled girl manipulates her inattentive parents into an extremely uncomfortable situation. It’s the start of the weekend and Ariane and Gerhard Christ are frantically preparing for their separate trips abroad.

Phantasm (1979)

2010-06-03T23:30:00.000-07:00

Starring: Angus Scrimm, Michael Baldwin, Bill Thornbury, Reggie Bannister, Kathy Lester, Terrie Kalbus First, The Lowdown: An annoying teen and his older brother finds out the local mortuary really put the “fun” in “funeral”. It’s 2am, and a guy who looks like a roadie for the Little River Band is getting it on in the middle of a cemetery with a blonde chick that looks way out of his

Eraserhead (1976)

2010-05-27T17:41:00.000-07:00

Starring: Jack Nance, Charlotte Stewart, Allen Joseph, Jeanne Bates, Judith Roberts, Laurel Near First, the Lowdown: A mild mannered man finds himself taking care of a mutant baby – then it gets weird. Meet Henry Spencer, a mild-mannered employee of an industrial printer who is enjoying a pleasant week off to traipse around the dessicated wastes of his neighborhood (I’m guessing he lives

My Trek of the Stars, Part 10: Dagger of the Mind

2010-05-20T00:00:00.000-07:00

Guest Starring: James Gregory, Morgan Woodward, Marianna Hill, Susanne Wasson, John Arndt First, the Lowdown: A crazy-nuts inmate leads the Enterprise to a penal colony run by a greasy televangelist. So the Enterprise is dropping off some supplies at the penal colony, Tantalus V. (The supplies being “infra-sensory drugs”, whatever that means.) But when the transporter crew tries to beam

Ali: Fear Eats the Soul (1974)

2010-05-09T19:23:00.000-07:00

(Originally released as Angst essen Seele auf) Starring: Brigitte Mira, El Hedi ben Salem, Barbara Valentin, Irm Hermann, Karl Scheydt, Marquard Bohm First, the Lowdown: A lonely housekeeper falls in love with a Moroccan worker 20 years her junior. Emmi, a cleaning lady, is drawn to a bar by the outside rain and the enchanting music playing within. The majority of the bar’s customers

My Trek Of The Stars, Part 9. What Are Little Girls Made Of?

2010-05-02T19:24:00.000-07:00

Guest Starring: Michael Strong, Sherry Jackson, Ted Cassidy, Harry Basch, Vince Deadrick First, the Lowdown: Kirk finds a missing scientist, who’s gone fuckshit bananas for goddamn, dirty androids. So the Enterprise is in orbit over the planet Exo 3 (a planet so boring they couldn’t be bothered to finish its name). On the bridge is the winsome Nurse Chapel, whose fiancé had gone missing

Mrs. Brown (1997)

2010-04-25T18:34:00.000-07:00

Starring: Judi Dench, Billy Connolly, Geoffrey Palmer, Anthony Sher, Gerard Butler, Richard Pasco. First, the Lowdown: Queen Victoria is brought out of a state of ennui with the help of a Scottish servant. Just before Christmas in 1861, Prince Albert, the husband to Queen Victoria, succumbed to typhoid fever. The Queen would spend the next three years mourning his death in seclusion.

My Trek of the Stars, Part 8: Balance of Terror

2010-04-22T21:36:00.000-07:00

Guest Starring: Stephen Mines, Barbara Baldavin, Garry Walburg, John Warburton First, the Lowdown: The Enterprise goes to war! That’s pretty much it. It’s wedding season on the Enterprise! Everyone is gathered in the ship’s chapel to speculate on the cost of the reception, how much weight the bride has gained, and whether or not the groom is going to last more than 2 minutes on their

Sweet Home Alabama (2002)

2010-04-13T15:35:00.000-07:00

My Trek Of The Stars, Part 7: Charlie X

2010-04-10T00:43:00.000-07:00

Guest Starring: Robert Walker, Charles J. Stewart, Dallas Mitchell, Don Eitner, Patricia McNulty, John Bellah First, the Lowdown: The Enterprise is visited by a sullen teenager and his godlike powers. So the Enterprise has met up with the Antares, in order to escort a passenger – a greasy, spotty teenager by the name of Charlie Evans. It seems Charlie is the sole survivor from the

Project A (1983)

2010-04-07T22:06:00.000-07:00

(Originally released as ‘A’ Gai Wak) Starring: Jackie Chan, Sammo Hung, Biao Yuen, Dick Wei, Mars, Isabella Wong, Po Tai, Wu Long Cheung First, the Lowdown: Jackie Chan is a sailor in the wackiest ship in the Navy. Hong Kong at the turn of the century is plagued by pirates and thieves. The two major security forces, the Police and the Navy, have been at odds with each other. It seems

My Trek Of The Stars, Part 6: The Naked Time

2010-04-04T17:44:00.000-07:00

Guest Starring: Stewart Moss, Majel Barret, Bruce Hyde, Grace Lee Whitney, William Knight, John Bellah First, the Lowdown: The Enterprise crew is infected with a disease that makes them all act like college sophomores on Spring Break. So the Enterprise is in orbit of the planet Psi 2000 (now with 2000 times the cleaning planet as the original Psi!). A scientific party has been on the

Ma Vie En Rose (1997)

2010-04-01T19:44:00.000-07:00

Starring: Michèle Laroque, Jean-Phillipe Écoffey, Hélène Vincent, Georges Du Fresne, Danielle Hanssens First, the Lowdown: A 7-year old boy wants to be a girl. Which drives the grown-ups in his life crazy. The Fabres have just moved into their new house, in a very suburban neighborhood. To celebrate their arrival, they throw a housewarming party, inviting everyone around. At the party,

My Trek of the Stars, Part 5: The Man Trap

2010-03-28T16:22:00.000-07:00

Guest Starring: Jeanne Bal, Alfred Ryder, Bruce Watson, Michael Zaslow, Vince Howard, Francine Pyne First, the Lowdown: Dr. McCoy visits an old flame, and comes back with something extra. So, the Enterprise has been called to the planet M-113 (a planet so boring, it doesn’t have a real name) to perform a routine medical examination on the archeological team that resides there. Dr. McCoy

Love Affair (1994)

2010-03-26T18:59:00.000-07:00

Starring: Warren Beatty, Annette Bening, Katherine Hepburn, Garry Shandling, Chloe Webb, Pierce Brosnan First, the Lowdown: A man and a woman, who are engaged to other people, fall in love after their plane crashes. Hilarity ensues. Mike Gambil is a former NFL-star turned burnt-out celebrity sports announcer with a penchant for philandering who is currently engaged to talk show sensation,

My Trek of the Stars, Part 4: The Enemy Within

2010-03-25T21:56:00.000-07:00

Guest Starring: Jim Goodwin, Edward Madden, Eddie Paskey, Garland Thompson, Don Eitner First, the Lowdown: A transporter malfunction splits Kirk in twain, and he goes gay for himself. On scenic Alpha 177, Kirk is overseeing the remainder of the Enterprise’s geological survey of the planet. Geological technician Fisher has an inner-ear imbalance or something and falls off an embankment,

Cinema Paradiso (1988)

2009-06-02T22:04:00.000-07:00