Aashika..Inside Out

Solitude

2011-11-26T09:41:00.002+05:30

Yes, another sad title and another sad discourse on my life! I cant understand why I come back to you mostly and only when I feel there is no meaning to my life and when i don’t want to live any longer. I know these are strong words and i, for one, definitely severely lack the courage it takes to go down that path but isn’t it more about what you think than about what you do?

And right now, i feel like I wish I wasn’t born, even if I had to be, I wish I had never grown up, even if I had to, I wish this hadn’t happened to me (i don’t understand what I am referring to as ‘this’). I wish i wasn’t myself. Maybe its just me because everyone else seems quite contented. The question, now, is when and where did ‘me’ go wrong? What went wrong?

There is nothing that i enjoy these days! Not movies, not books, not work, not food (yes, it has always been a fundamental part of my life :D), not friends (i don’t know who i am referring to as ‘friends’), is it just me? But what went wrong?? I REALLY wish someone could answer that question for me.

It is probably just a phase that will also pass by like any other day but right now, i could kill to feel differently. I wish something would help, i wish someone would help. I know there are people in my life who care and care a lot but for some reason, it just doesn’t seem enough. Just not enough.

I am probably asking for too much and i am responsible for what i have lost and all that i have lost (which is a LOT! More than i can fathom!). but doesn’t everyone deserve a second chance? I guess not :/

Unbelievable!!

2011-05-24T17:03:00.000+05:30

4 months!! thats how long its been since i last saw my blog. haha i was supposedly busy! OR NOT!! just chose not to write or was too engrossed with other things :/ but anyway here i am..thanks to the same person :))

feels nice to be back :D lots of things have happened, lots of things have changed n i have changed with them. india won the world cup :D n i got a blackberry n broke it LOL. got in touch with a lot of old friends..feels GREAT :D

seem to have lost that knack, that flair for blogging :| hope to get back soon :)

let's start afresh!!

2011-02-01T06:59:00.000+05:30

life's weird. morning on december 24th..i felt like a prisoner dying to break free. evening december 25th i was a free bird but had lost that craving to fly. i dint mind staying back for a while. weird?

time flies. january 31st..could give anything for not having to return to this place..weird?

no more victimisation of self..lets start afresh. the slate is clear. past impressions of all the bad removed (or the so-called bad cuz everything happens for the good na?)

let's start with a new aim and determination to succeed. let's decide our course so we dont. let us not let insignificant things affect us anymore. let's be strong enough to handle anything that comes our way. let's learn to accept failures because they will come. let's learn to keep trying. let's learn to be the masters again..lets not give a damn to what the other people are saying or thinking or woteva.

what say? start afresh?

what a dilemma!

2010-12-17T22:44:00.002+05:30

there have been instances like this one before but dis one looks slightly different :/ probably cuz its d first time at dis place? dont know..for those who r wondering what im talking bout..dis is not one of those dark n gloomy posts but just a random (though honest n arguably the most truthful) n happy one!

now d dilemma..whether to respond or not! whether to be mad or not! whether to reciprocate or not! whether to hide or not! whether to signify a yes or a no! der is no end. what does dis phrase mean? does it carry a latent meaning? do they want to say something? should i say dis or dat or anything at all!? shud i just say what i want to? do i even know what i want? i guess.......not :/

finding it difficult to share it wid d closest of friends. now dats not new but im dying to share. i want to talk n go on talking n want advice but i dont want ppl to know dat i want to talk. doo u uderstand?

dont wat it to end but dont want it to progress either! dont know what d consequences r going to be..slightly scared, slightly skeptical but damn curious. cant it just stay d way it is. i think its beautiful :/

dressed to the nines

2010-12-15T22:18:00.000+05:30

der hav been instances when i hav been over dressed for the occasions..n today was one..shit it was bad. just kept looking around to spot people as dressed as i was but could find none :(

to add to it all dese ppl go like.."y r u so decked up?" types n i kept wondering y i wore what i did :/

it was as if the whole world was staring at me n i was at d center n being at d center is not a cool thing all d time. u think im exaggerating..u totally do..think bout d last time u thought u were over dressed..dint u want to run away?? thats what i did. just tried to hide myself n RAN!!!

haha here i am..back in my track suit..feels so much better. hav already chosen clothes for tomorrow..clothes nhi rags. im wearing rags to class tomorrow. hope it can make up for todays disaster lol.

free advice (i know im not d best person u want to listen to today but anyway) for anything in the world..listen to urself except EXCEPT clothes..listen to what the other person says..trust me u'l always be better off..

back to blogging

2010-11-16T23:54:00.000+05:30

back to blogging..thanks to vidhi gupta n harshit bansal!!
its funny how fickle-minded one can be..anyway idc as long as im sittig here writing dis post..it is very soothing. i like it n i will do it regularly from now on..

i really loved today..like loved it!!! again felt like i hav ppl who r bothered n who do giv a damn..just went out wandering in the lanes of dwarka just when some kind bird shit on a friend (yes it did)..she thinks it was crow, i can bet it was a sparrow

lol..we died laughing (i inadvertently hugged her after dat ewwwwwwww). anyway we went to this chhoti si shop n had mango bar. it was awesome trust me better than any ice cream i've ever had (yes vidhi our choco chips too)..those moments were so perfect! i seemed to hav found friends again..i dont know ho long they will last but they mean d world to me rite now.

those 5 hours today..how they flew away..it was fun n laughter overload. godfather, double 'A', usual bulshit n at times apples n oranges too (i know u rnt getting a word but "chill out dude" hahaha). haha one of the best days in my recent past!! and u know what??? im sooo excited? will tell u in my next post hopefully..

happy independence day!!

2010-08-15T17:17:00.000+05:30

hi again! im breaking all records..2 posts in a day but i forgot to celebrate our 64th independence day on my blog!! so happy independence day to all..i hope this generation of ours gets our motherland d much needed independence fighting another freedom struggle n d tougher one!! which is to revive our confidence n thus our pride in ourselves n our nation.

i hope we turn dis india into bharat again n restore its long lost "sone ki chidiya" waala status..we owe it to our ancestors, if not more..

happy independence day again!!!

overcome with gloom and despair!!

2010-08-15T17:08:00.000+05:30

i knw d title is kinda dull n it deserves to be better esp cuz im writing a post after quite a long tym!! i have d most genuine explanation for my absence from this blog for almost 3 months..i am selfish n i come to my blog only when i need it, only when i need to pour my heart out. n not dat im surprised but d place dat i am at is such dat moods change almost every moment n i guess dat holds true for most of us n not just me! it still it still is no consolation for i was never like this or an alternate explanation could be i had misconceptions. i always wanted my blog to be a fun thing but it also is a place for introspection n i dont see anything wrong with it n yeah i knw introspection is done at a private forum. but not when ur seeking answers. not when ur willing to change for d good. n answers which are concrete n offer solutions.

d worst part being, in this beautiful(gross under estimation) weather, when i can feel rain drops on myself even though im sitting in my room cuz the wind blows them all over d place, im sitting hopelessly in my room doing nothing..i dont know what to do, dont know what i want to do n trust me a really scary truth just struck me..it is worse than the worst..i owe my mood swings not to myself but others..

isnt dat scary? but it is true!! shows how dependent i am on others..even on people who i did not think make too much difference to me..apparently they do!! u know wat? initially i would think i couldnt be wrong all the time..but now i've genuinely come to think data it is me whoz wrong..3600 times a day i think where have i gone wrong today? how did i hurt them today n what do i do to convince them? n it kills u trust me it does. all dis may sound crappy to most of u..

what will i not give to get over this? i cannot explain..hope no one reads this but if u do..please do not comment! thank u

2 days to go :D :D :D

2010-06-09T13:19:00.000+05:30

2 more days to go n wait..dis weather!!! i already hav a brown screen..dont want it to turn black!! dont get it?? der r scores of dust layers on my laptop, my bed, myself!!! but i love this weather..i shudnt be writing blog posts..2 exams still more to go..but whatever!!!

too excited to contain now..hw will these 2 damned days pass?????????? im over reacting?? d u hav any clue when i last went home??? 2nd may!!!!!!! itz been ages!!

i hav loadsa plans fr vacation..movies!! im goin to make up fr last 5 months..im gonna watch the likes of kites(im not kidding i had to google to find out recent movies..) n even worse!!! swear to god!!!

vidhi bhi wahi hoegi pakane ke liye!!! oiii vidhi ka bdday aa gaya..not dat i hav any surpirses fr her..btw juss so u knw..i had planned to write a testi fr vidhi on her bdday but dat was in 11th class..itz been 2 yrs?? so doze r d kindsa surprises i hav fr her n even better gifts lolllll

no vidhi but enough!!! i hv a special gift fr u dis year!! sach me!! dnt bve me???

oi haan to vacation!! im going to eat n eat n eat!! mangoes mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!

2 damned daysssss!!

love fb!!!

2010-05-26T23:31:00.000+05:30

weird title na? actly i fb'ed (accessed facebook) aftr ages today!! n trust me itz loadsa fun!! as if u dnt knw!! n to hav criminal law mdule n avtar singh n pillai begging fr attention rite next to ur laptop is too good a feeling!!
trust me they r lying deserted on my bed..must neva hav been dis ignored lol n im luvin it!!!

n guess what?>?? mi earnings r increasing..may juss be crawling but woteva!! all thanks to u guyz!! muah muah thank u thank u (*bows*)!!

and and and...im doen wid alllllll mi presentations!! how cool is dat!! and and and anoder cross on my calendar!! yes im marking days on d calendar..anoder ummmm wait 16 days!!! but im not dying nymore cuz uc fbz oxygen!! lol wid only a lil exaggeration..

so??? oh yeah so vidhi took dis "how spoilt am i quiz on mi behalf" on fb of crs..n i apparently am 26% spoiled n of crs vidh doesnt know mw so m probably 6.2% spoilt yayyy!!! do try it!! fun it is..

achcha do 1 thing..actly 3:

1 check ur nails
2 check whether ur shoes r properly polished(remember u did dat in skul?) except u dnt hav to try to clean them wid ur socks!
3 pass a notebook to anyone sitting somewher around u

done? dont be baffled juss do it!! n write to me fr any querries!! n be glued to d blog fr d next post(keep clicking ads till then :P)

cya soon!!!

runs n wickets n awesome fun!!

2010-05-21T18:47:00.001+05:30

Hey I'm sitting outside d hostel witnessing d coolest sight EVER!! Can see only 4 colours..red, green, blue n black!! Arushi just handed me d funniest thing ever..makes weird sounds lolll n derz music(amplifier of crs lol), derzz all d energy in d world n here goes d 1st ball of UCL..aaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnndddddd………… 2 runs!!

Itz red v. Blue!!! apoorvaz team bowling n shez ecstatic 1 over 4 runs n d 1st wicket fallsss...excitement all over!!!! Another wicket...2 overs 8 runs!!!

D 1st innings comes to close wid 22 runs!! Apoorvaz team inWINcibles r supposed to get 23 n I'm luvin it!!!

n redz were generous enuf for bluez not to need to bat..they had only to stand for a while lolll!! Der were only wides n more wides lolll..bluez hav won d 1st match!!!

Sorry dis post is coming a day late..uc d net stopped working!! Anyway yesterday was full on masti..many of us realized dat we are true Indians after all..v enjoy cricket more than any oder sport loll!!

Der was so much happening..funny misfields, sad catches dropped, boundaries, appeals, run out decisions n what not!! Wholesome entertainment in short!!

Cya!!

back again

2010-05-20T15:48:00.000+05:30

damn anoder blog post washed out..

poor u guyz!!

cant resist!!

2010-05-19T17:36:00.000+05:30

hav loadsa work pending..bt woteva who gives a damn!! yes im on a monetizing spree..but trust me itz only for vidhiz bday :P

whtsup on my mind rite now?? criminal law but d more interesting one is d football finals in d coll tonite..no not dat im a stakeholder..i hav d most productive role..AUDIENCE (lollllll)!!

n d even better part?? UCL: NLUD version of IPL!! university cricket league they call it..lame na? but bidding n all was fun!! some peoplez begging eyes for the franchisees to purchase them..d oderz offered to pay d amount they were sold for lolllllllll (some of them even double d amount :P)..so yeah collz got some (only a lil) excitement these days..btw d countdown has begun..23 days (home idiots..good food n no work!)!!

btw congrats cricket lovers..indiaz early exit from the world cup..not dat i was surprised but some pooor optimistic ppl were..sorry for them!! any way dis blog is d last place u'd find any further criticism of those poor (though their waistline doesnt signify that :P) 11 guyz!!

im kinda rebuilding mi blog..plz do suggest some stuff u'd like me to write bout..
no im not thrwoing weight around..i dont have any (juss around 60 kgs lollll) but i really wanna write good fun stuff!!

n dat answer ur looking for? herez a condition..i want at least 10 comments on dat post n then will d answer be out..SADISHT I AM!!! :P :P :P :P :P

request for d readers

2010-05-18T23:23:00.003+05:30

d few readers dat i have..
herez a request fr u..plz click on d ads dat u c on dis blog t least once each tym u visit..i'd be really grateful..

thanks!!! u'l do it na???? plz plz plz plz plz.....

BLOGPOT unblocked!! yayyyyy!!!!

2010-05-18T22:42:00.000+05:30

1 n d only good thing dats happened to me in months together now is dat blogspot has apparently been unblocked!!! im ecstatic..i cn write my blog again...i can pour my heart out again..

gueess what i have a blog post written on my new E63 (yes im flaunting my new classy handset but dont u think i deserve that after bearing with cdma LG for almost 8-10 months??)also..but take this for now..

so last few days or say months hav been pathetic..everything going wrong but guess what? i dont give a damn anymore :D cool na?? no itz not a big deal cuz u c i hav some assets no one can take away!! no prizes for guessing..first of all (ALL!!!) come mumma papa!! n then is dis person bout whom i'd written a whole post which apparently was not saved :((

any way derz dis perso who means d world to me n i hav found dat out very recently in fact say yesterday!! i hav never given him/her what s/he deserves or even d least i cud do, in fact done d meanest things to her/him but hav been forgiven all thanks to dis person..itz crazy how someone can be so giving..i treasure dis person not because of the help wid studies or personal issues, but because what s/he is n how itz solely because of dis person i have a friend!! yes 1 n only 1 friend on dis earth i have n dat is you!!! we dont need to say things to each oder..n i knw u'd know dis before i did..but dear you, thank you for being a part of my life..u constitute 29.9999999999999% of it.(uc 35.000000000000000001% goes not mumma n 34.99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% goes to papa!!)

i swear to god i will give evrything it takes not to lose u ever!!! believe me i wont be able to afford it!!!
ok so no prizes for guessing..bt readers do try!! anoder post coming tomorrow wid d answer!!! :))

feel like writing!! or juss call it ECCENTRICITY

2010-03-28T12:23:00.004+05:30

watz wrong wid me dese days?? derz juss no end to blogging..or for dat matter chatting, facebooking..n wat not!! dis wi-fi is a double edged sword..at least fr me!!

thought of getting mi laptop confiscated initially but no..cant even work like that!! to get dwn to work..i need windows XP minus all d games dat it carries, google chrome minus facebook, gtalk, hard drive minus all d movies stored in it..so basically i need d lifeless device!! d conclusion is NOTHING UNDER THE SUN CAN MAKE ME WORK!!

my life has suddenly become so eventful..i myself dnt realise!! mood swings happen wid a blink of an eye(i juss realised i love meena mam n i miss her :p)..btw meena mam was our english teacher(xtremely khadoooosss) n dis waz her 'takiya kalam'(if u undrstand dat lol), especially when talking bout responsibility towards skul "dese 7 months will pass wid d blink of an eye"!! any way..so all kinds of emotions (contrasting) happen to me one aftr anoder..

derz suddenly more fun, more adventure, ecstasy at times derz suddenly sorrow n derz anxiousness, disappointment, derz disillusionment if datz a word..derz also hopelessness at times!! i juss dont get..wat d heck is wrong??? is it dis place? is it dis damn world?? is it d ppl? or is it just me??? n i hate d fact dat i feel like losers n im writing all dis like losers..im letting my blog down!!

i feel like anonymous aashika again today..seem to hav forgotten myself!! small little things delight me..smaller little things piss me off..do not knw wat to make out of little things ppl do, wat they say..im dying to hav one final verdict on me..juss cant take new stuff frm new ppl every damn day(let alone day..every moment!) anymore!! frm new ppl..i guess i still probably can bt ppl i knw (at least i think i knw), just cant help having expectations frm dem..yup i want a jury trial of myself!! once n for all..itz fr me to knw rather than ne1 else..

i feel eccentric..n i guess i shud chnge d title of dis post to eccentricity..n yes i kinda have..i today really feel homo sapiens r a complex species..howmuchever u feel u knw urself n u knw wat ur saying n u knw wat d oder person is saying..it never is enough..ur not wat u think u r, d oder prson is also not what u think he is..itz complicated!!

all doz who feel im bulshitting..dis day will come to u!! come back to dis post then plz..im kinda researching cuz uc dis makes much more sense to me than any haptics or crown immunity ever did! u knw what?? a thought juss struck me..i shud probably switch to psychology..think it'l suit me better!!!

ppl often distinguish skul frenz frm coll onez..u must hav come across ppl saying--"dost to hain yaar par wo school ke dost..."!! friends r friends rite?? hw do skul n coll make a difference?? or do they?? aftr all ur a grown up in coll..u become smarter, more intelligent....also less feeling??? itz an open question..wudnt like to derive a conclusion cuz uc..d apparent conclusion seems to rip me apart!!

wat i juss did was attempt a post full of drama..mi blog dint hav any!! wat do u think?? :p

oops!!!

2010-03-27T16:40:00.002+05:30

omg..cudnt/dint write ne post ytd..damn!! resolution goes to the winds!! not dat derz nething new bout it lol!!

yeah so..wat to talk bout? oops 1 sec..juss got a txt..o anoder 1 :D
can u even guess..wat d txt said? i will quote it ad verbatim cuz no words cn xpress d emotion it carries n do wat it did to me..

"today itz been a complete 1 year since v lost our school life (cuz 2day waz our last paper)..this is for all my frenz who miss school life..n r a special part of my life..n whom i never wanna lose...."

damn!! itz been 1 whole year..sorry..im juss a lil shaken!! wat a day it waz..u knw wat?

it was arnd 1..n FINALLY boardz wer over! OVER!! it waz a moment of ecstasy..it waz just ULTIMATE..d day v'd been direly waiting for had finally arrived..

v took off frm our xam centre..n headed fr our school..v did!! on our way waz dis speed breaker..n all of us bumped our heads on d car roof..lollllll!! i remember it like it all happened yesterday..

it waz then dat i felt, fr d 1st time, dat i'd miss dat place n i have...ever after...

i hav mentioned PP..hav i? der waz dis place..'patel park' it waz called..not a very clean place..n there we were..went to d remotest corners of d park..found couples[;)]!! FUN!!

dint knw then dat i wudnt see doz ppl evryday nemore..wudnt drive to PP nemore..wudnt hide activaz frm sister ever again..wudnt go to KAKOOZEE nemore..

no mi lyf hasnt ended n itz uncool, thinkin, talkin like diss..

damn i waz totally in a mood of writing a funny cheerful post but vidhi..y did u hav to text me all dat!!

n vidhi u knw wat? im such a hypocrite..i will frget all dis emotion, dese memories i a while agn..bt yeah i will bear in mind dat i dnt hav to crib bout d present nemore only to cherish it when it becomes past...itz ironic n it is soo very sad dat u never realise d value of eyes when u hav sight..

just yesterday..an xtremely dear friend texted..her txt brought wid it a flood of memories just like dis one did!!
it will happen wid dis place n dese frenz as well bt at dis moment..seems very improbable..i knw i will bt itz hard to believe..weird?

hav to revert back to "police act 1861"..dey call it career uc..dey say-"work fr dese few yrs n enjoy d subsequent many yrs.."

i hav no grudges wid my lyf..none at all!! i dont know hw many timez i hav contradicted myself in d last half an hr..itz weird..i dnt know!! i hav nothing more to say..i want some1 to judge me n my life..all d hypocrisy dat im completely oblivious of..i wanna make amends..asap!!

2 in a row!! :D

2010-03-24T13:24:00.002+05:30

yup..2nd post in a row!! im enjoying writing..although i'l do better to enjoy writing my criminal law project but WHO CARES???? lifesaver:"dekha jayega" lol!!

im chatting, blogging, eating (which, here in hostel also means cooking), doing NOTHING, so wat i mean is im doing evrything but the project!! harshit i knw ur still stuck on eating but..i just had pasta!! :P

guess wat?? i lost a bet today :(
dat too on IPL!!! wat a loss!! hw could DD win widout gautam gambhir?? ppl u knw what?? derz been a match fixing scandal..really!!! dis win was fixed..gautam told me..shhh itz a secret!!

n yea i waz picked yet agn in class today!! vidhi u knw what i miss d most bout u?? im now caught when talking cuz derz no u to become d scapegoat!! huhh..im nostalgic..remember harish sir?? i wud be doing everything under the sun except maths n u'd be d one scolded..hahahahhahahaha!!! AWESOME FUN!!

lol i need to be more organised!! so mumbaiz gonna beat chennai..wopeyyyy!!! i like both teams though :P
n u knw wat?? mi attendance is low :O
and radhikaz playin tik-tok..m luvin' it!!
AND im goin home sooooooooooooonnnnnnn!!
damn im dead..i shud be writing all dis in bold!!
hawww..i dnt even use 0% of mi inbox capacity :((
mi lappiez outa battery!!
derz a chocolate truffle cake lying rote in fronta me bt i've been forbidden frm even lookin at it..sad sad!!
and lastly..mi johnson's baby lotion got over today!! dnt sympathise..itz kinda tragic!! and i hav never made more sense!!

and ppl aashika jain is signing off(running fr her life.................)!!

dis is simply unblvable!!!

2010-02-04T15:02:00.003+05:30

hello every1..now dis post is a li'l serious!! yeah..so im very perturbed over somethin today..so kindly bear wid me!! i will begin wid a warnin..i cn really suck at writing somethin serious..bt i hav to hav to hav to write bout dis..dis is somethin too important(to me) to ignore!!

"what d hell is so important?"-isnt dat wat u wanna ask? i knw..
wat do i tell u..i was reading dis book called..'We the ppl of India'..now dat sounds bugging to most of u..i knw it does..bt bve you me..it is such an eye opener!! i dunno bout u guyz bt it came as a shock to me..i feel so ignorant!! dis is a story of gangland democracy in india..n wat a telling story it is..it reflects evry big n small vice of indian democracy and shakes u up so much so dat u cant resist not thinking bout it.

btw..u probably havent seen dis side of me bt im into evrythin dat even remotely relates to india n i love dis country of mine n ma aim of life is to take india back to d 'sone ki chidiya' days..to see it flourishing..to make it d place it would be once in d good old days which is y im extremely interested in indian politics!!

yeah so coming back to d book..it depicts dis ridiculously rich man who bribes govt ppl to mint money..dis guy RK is set thinking.."i spend millions of money on useless officials fr petty causes..i might as well occupy one such position n save ma bucks" n thus begins his political journey..wid his krishna i.e. charioteer called Satya Saarthi..

dis journey involves evrythin frm inciting communal violence fr political gains to sending billions of money in thousands of suitcases to hundreds of money monger govt ddogs to distributing wine n whisky and hiring escorts fr d higher breed dogs..to jamming EVMs of adverse constituencies..to faking voters..to d most disgusting things ever..only to worship the god of democracy n giv fake proofs of democracy by holding damn elections to elect representatives of "D SOVEREIGN CITIZENS OF INDIA"!!

i shd tell u guyz right away im not opposed to democracy!! n i will continue wid RK's political journey..stay tuned!!

'Aashika..Inside Out' threatened!!!

2010-02-01T16:35:00.004+05:30

heyyyyy!!! sry ppl..i've been away fr like FOREVER!! i dnt even knw wat has kept me so busy at home!! 30-40 dayz simply flew away..wid like a blink of eyes! bt bt d fateful day had to arrive n here i am..BACK!! d same ppl, d same campus..d same damn food but i shd put an end to ma 'oderwise never ending session of cribbing'!!

okay so ummnn..i thought i had alot to talk bout n i better do..rite? 1 sec papa'z callin..$^&*(@*(&%$$@*()(%%#@!%&*$*%^#&*(##&*(_&$#^*())*^#%^*)((*$@$%_))&%##^&((*##$$&*(*(^%$$^^$$#&^*(&%%$#@@$%^&**&^%$^^%&*&&^$#$&*()(@#%^&*(*#$%^&*$%^&*($%^&*(#$%^&*()%^&*()$%^&*(%^&*()#$%^&*()..yeah dad cn go on n on n on..bt im on roaming..so yeah!! hey hey i simply frgot..guess wat..i dropped ma suckin CDMA cell fone in a TOILET POT...lolllll!! ONLY TO GET ANODER 1000 BUG DAMNED CDMA RELIANCE CELL FONE!!! feeling better bout urself..sadists all of u!!!!

...to be continued :((

oh wait..well i'd forgotten to xplain d title..YES ITz TRUE..i n ma blog are threatened..n dis is not a joke ppl..derz a conspiracy on to shut ma blog down..harshit bansal has got down to blogging..bve it or not..he will make sure dat ma blog is shut down!! no bt im not askin u guyz to type AASHIKA on ur cell fne n send it to me..all dat im asking u for is ur sweet comments:) n harshit stay away frm blogging[:x]

SAVE MA BLOG!!! SAVE MA BLOG!!

back again..aftr quitea while though!!!

2010-01-06T22:27:00.001+05:30

ok so i seem to have started writing dis post quite a while ago!! found it in drafts with not a single word in it!!

i finally feel like writing again!! u knw y?? cuz derz been a revelation to me!! yup..a revelation!! now ur wondering..now what?? remember i wud always boast dat i write fr miself n fr no one else blah blah blah..i used to lie!! yeah u got it right!! i write my blog so ppl read it!!

no dis waz not d objective when i created dis one!! when i began i thought i wud pour my heart out etc etc!! im ashamed of saying dis but i needed to..!! i wanted to speak my feelings..n mi blog, i thought wud do it without neone finding out!! bt i dont exactly remember how..bt some ppl read my blog (probably i askd them to?) n so i got some 3-4 readers..n their comments wud delight me!! so i forced ppl into reading my blog (how embarrassing it feels now!!)

yeah now i knw..dat waz when my objective changed..n it changed such that even i dint find out..i began to write fr others..i wud write so that ppl like it!! i wud write so as to get more n more comments!! so d original purpose was failed!! i myself failed that purpose!! i began to write less n even less often..u knw y?? cuz i thought i wont be able to produce as good n funny a post as d previous one n ppl wud stop reading it..and they did STOP!!

i dnt knw how it all occurred to me..
i waz doin mi criminal(law) project..n it suddenly strikes me dat i shud visit my blog n here i am..writing all dis!! i bet ive never thought bout dis ever b4!! i knw harshit n vidhi will still read it..n go like.."what d hell is wrng wid u?" but guyz..chill!! nothingz wrong wid me!! i've gotten back to my real objective..n im goin to bulshit..howsoever depressing it maybe!! havnt u guyz ever experienced the pleasure of victimising urself..i dunno why bt it gives u a sorta weird pleasure..to write bout sad stuff..

A: so dear blog..how hav u been??
B: DESERTED!!! ABANDONED!!! as if u care???? :X :x
A: oops i knw n im extremely sry bout it..gimme 1 last chance..i promise to remember u more often!!
B: last chance?? u can get a last chance provided u promise to write a post fr 7 consecutive days..100 words each at d least!! game??
A: ???&@%&*(@*@(&^&%$@%$^&^*@(**()()&%$%@#@#%^&*(()
B: i knew dat pretty well!! :x

dear blog..u wait n watch....

on ma way back home...

2009-12-23T01:03:00.001+05:30

Hey ppl..god itz been soooo long..unbvable!! der almost has been a drought on ma blog yaa  no posts n thus no comments..i’ve been missing ma blog like hell..bt hav been too lazy to write a post fr ages!! Yup had xamz on..bt dat waz much more of a psychological reason than nething else..not dat I’ve been studying 24*7(or even 2*7 fr dat matter[:p])!! Ne wez screw it..dis is 1 post I wrote on ma way back home..bt frgot to post in the home-frenzy..

So very xcited!! Cant put it into words..juss started frm delhi..huhh 4 hours to go..bt itz really okay when the seemingly never ending road does end at ur home..no not home..itz “ghar”..v’ve been goin crazy fr last week or so..”ghar jana hai” echoing in the hostel everyday every moment!! Itz such a sight to see ppl packing..bags all over..n itz such an inexplicable feeling..packing ur ownself..specially fr ppl like me(who’ve neva packd all their lives) dis is such an experience..

Im watching bedtime stories btw..nice movie!! Reached sonepat!! Okay so letz do sumthin interesting..now dat im so jobless..like wat?? Like..talk bout d last 5 months which seem to hav passed with d blink of an eye..time fr some reflection..

Well it waz july 31st..i waz on top of d world..full on energy, curiosity n what not but late as usual..yes I was late d very 1st day..so teachers hav no right to complain now!! Filled up all those damned forms..n dat interview wid RS..i quite liked him then as far as I cn recall now..came back on august 2nd orientation uc..(goes widout saying LATE)..listened to every word in every speech very intently(dint knw then dat i’d get many more opportunities to listen to it)..then RS began..as I said I liked him then..pretty impressed wid his speech..in fact had tears streaming down ma cheeks already(hav d courtesy to acknowledge d fact that im writing all dis)..then followed lunch..n NLUDites..it was me who was d only 1 outa 80 ppl wid red moist eyes already..n then came d time fr parents to leave..huhh..simply cant frget those moments..i waz torn apart as they drove outa d gate..newez letz cut it all short..it was horrible..n then d karele ki sabzi dat v got dat evening made things worse lol!!
Next day..got up all early got ready..last seat in d class..yes d last seat on d very 1st day..disappointed xtremely..d day ended v got our LM n tort modules..everybdy seemed to be enjoying n I seemed like d only 1 in lowest of ma spirits EVER..as was least expected..cant embarrass maself more...it was really really bad..thought to maself.. “things dnt alwez turn out to be d way u want dem to be bt u still have to move on..”
But fortunately fr me..it got betta by d day..i dint realise it then though..began to enjoy some bit of college bt still wud count days to go home..like I have been fr last I dunno hw many days..
..looking back 2nd august seems like yesterday..5 months seems like 5 days..have already spent 1/10th of d total time I gotta spent at NLUD..rings a kinda bell..makes me like NLUD a lil more than i initially did..now that im on ma way back home..i think I’ll miss some bit of NLUD which includes ma frenz of crs..d ‘ceasefire’(now datz a moonie thingy)..d stolen pineapple n d filth of ma room!! N may be a lot more!!
Gotta go fr dinner ppl..yes v thought of dining at oasis(im nostalgic again..hav xtremely fond memories of oasis)..ne wez..im hungry..cyaaa.

…havnt found enuf tym in d last 5 days to hav completed dis post..so m posting it like dis..hav to bring ma blog back to lyf sumhow…plz contribute!! Ihav realised wheneva I mention nandini on ma blog..der r NO comments eever..so im makin it a point not to mention ne devils..plz write back..howmuchever I may suck!!!

CAUTION

2009-12-22T21:24:00.002+05:30

post in progress!!

bloggin in d class!!!

2009-11-24T14:51:00.003+05:30

hello every1!!! itz been ages..i began wid dis post last week..n m here today back continuing wid d post in d same class..cuz uc..i dnt find enuf tym to blog oder than classes of crs..so here i am!!

so..wats new wid me?? ummmm...not much..NOTHING??? yup NOTHING!! yup datz d answer!! oder than dat i've learnt to blog in d class, sleep in d class..n better still..sleep on d 1st bench in d class!! ok..cant resist..EXAMS coming up..wat do i do?? they occupy d largest space of ma small mind..n as if itz nething new..I AM FLUNKING!!! bt d betta part is we get to go home rite aftr d xams..for?? for?? for??? a month n a half!! isnt dat really greattttt??? n the even bettr part is..3 IDIOTS..huh..d very thought excites me no end..friends..home..movies..food..d perfect lyf..away frm NLUD!!! guess wat..im goin fr 1t day 1st show of 3 idiots..yea..ma gang had vowed to go watch d 1st day n d 1st show!! hw will these 18 damnd days pass???

im using hitakshiz lappie to blog yeah...when she like a good gal was wrking on her tort presentation..bad?? u bet but but but WOTEVA!! JSM(oops..d lucky non-NLUDites wudnt knw..JSM: Prof Jeet Singh Maan..datz our torts professor) is asking weird questions..n i simply cant see ma own dear classmates standing blank at d podium..so i prompt..d only prblm is i prompt irrespective of whether or not i maself knw d rite answer..no it isnt ma problem..it becomes a prblm fr d person makin d presentation in fronta 80 ppl..ppl..speak out wat i prompt widout thinking..and...........

kk g2g ..2 be contd...

n im editing it n b4 dt i re-read it..n i knw i sucked!!!

thaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnkkkkkkkksssss!!!

2009-11-21T22:52:00.002+05:30

long day...so full of "thank you"zzzzzz!!! bt itz good..feels gr888 to speak to old frenz..to knw der xist some ppl whom at times u frget bt who remember u..

thanx every1..
k in person..

AYUSHI N VIDHI(juss in alphabetical order)

n now d order in whc i received d wishes..

Papa woke me up at 12:01(yes i was fast asleep ON MA BDAY)so i cud attend to d calls..

Sakshi(who invariably is d 1st one to call everytym even though i frget her bday every yr INVARIABLY)..

poor HARSHIT(i was too drowsy to talk..so dad recd his call)..lolll

then..ummm..yeah VIDHI of crs..(no she waz d 1st one to call bt i recd it only d aftr some 5 calls..)..n then d Bday gal dozes off finally..

to get up wid Aakritiz call..shez 1 of ma best frenz..then it was aarjav alias 'chhoti'(datz ma 8yr old cousin btw..n a male n still called 'chhotIII')..den dadiji..chacha, chachi..etc etc..

then..i dnt even remember..mom dad of crs..yea Ayushi called(yeah..dat late..madam was tired n dozed off early last nyt..dat waz d xcuse at least)..hey hey..dnt u knw ayushi?? shez wwhom i call ma 'TWIN COUSIN'..why?? cuz by d tym im done writin dis post..it'l be her bday..

then der waz abhishek..an ex-classmate n friend..whoz wish took me by surprise(n btw..it was his bday yesterday.. n i found out only today..xtremely embarassing)!!

den der wer meghna..harshit(agn)..nandini(acc to whom i hear evry1 but her)..anirudh..hitakshi..sherley(who called frm her new cell cuz she lost her n72..ouch it hurts)..nlud done!!

den devangna..disha..ankit..(sry if im frgettin ne1)..

mamaji n mamiji along wid ayushi n naniji came over..'kaku chacha' n 'gudiya bua' as well..it was sooo much fun!!

dis waz probably d 1st of all 18 bdayzz whc i completely spent wid ma family..papa was home d whole day..it waz awesome..an ideal day maybe!! n dis probably is d most suckin post..bt dis is how i feel..n dis is how u'l hav to bear..

i cant mention a host of onln wishes..bt thank u all tooo..

n d 1z who cudnt wish me due to ne reason..dnt be disheartened..derz alwez a nxt tym..im sure i'l be alive till nxt yr fr u to wish me a HAPPY BDAY!!

n fr now itzzzz....HAPPYY BBBDDDAAAAYYYY AYUSHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!