abandoned to God

2016-11-23T13:29:00.000-08:00

Why is freedom on my own so important to me,...wild freedom....?
Who is this hidden, wind-swept hermit that lives in me;
the unconventional, discerning voice in the unconstructed chaos.
Who am I Lord.....who am I?
Who am I who listens to Your voice on the wind, your whisper in the trees
and Your power in the sound of the sea..........
it is this voice that speaks in a candle light chapel and monastery cell.

Wild, tame, predictable, unpredictable God
Draw me after You and let us run together
May my eyes see what cannot be seen
May my ears hear what cannot be heard...
and in the silent darkness know that You are God.

Rev 2:7 "If anyone has ears to hear, let him listen to what the Spirit says to the churches."

Song of Songs 1:4 "Draw me after You and let us run together."

Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God."

Song of Songs 3:2

2016-04-03T04:18:00.001-07:00

Is He, "He whom my heart loves"? Or is it myself. Was it Him I chased down the wind?

"I will seek Him whom my heart loves" 3:2,4

Is He the One in whom my heart loves?
Is it He whom I chased down the wind, across grass, stream and hedgerow?
Is it He whose name I shouted to the heavens for the wind to hear and catch it and take it to Him whom my heart loves?

Is it He who makes my heart sing and my steps skip with joy?
If it is He whom my heart loves then I will hold Him fast and never will I let Him go.

Hosea 2:21-22

I will betroth you to myself forever, betroth you with integrity and justice, with tenderness and love; I will betroth you to myself with faithfulness and you will come to know the Lord."

The abiding Christ

2016-01-21T11:26:00.000-08:00

I get distracted.....

but You wait quietly for me.

You are always there.......

in all my distractions.

You, O Lord , are the constant One.

You remind me that in "quietness and trust is my strength".

And all the time You are my example as You quietly trust,

waiting for me to lay it all down........and

To abide in You and You alone.

All is in Your hands, O God.

Jesus icon

2016-01-15T06:03:00.001-08:00

More and more my eyes are drawn to the Jesus icon on my desk. As He stands quietly in the stillness my heart beat slows and His eyes look deep into my soul.

What are you trying to tell me, Lord?

Isaiah 30:15 " This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel says:

In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength...."

"Abide with me...don't let me fall"

2016-01-14T01:46:00.001-08:00

Just come deeper into Me;
Let My gaze draw you to Myself;
Allow yourself to fall into My embrace
and be held.....just be held.

Do not strive but be still in My arms and allow My love to lift you.

Under My gaze everything changes....
sin, worries,stress fall to the floor like dirty rags
peace comes to your heart;
joy bubbles up......
For know that My love will surely never let you go.

"All will be well, all will be well and all manner of things will be well"

With much acknowledgement to Matt Redman's album "Unbroken Praise"

Abide with Me.

2016-01-08T12:09:00.000-08:00

“Abide with Me;

Abide in Me;

I abide in you;

you are abiding in Me.

Never cease to abide.

As I am your dwelling place, so

I have chosen you as the place where I dwell.

Just abide with Me;....rest in My embrace....hear My heart beat.....

for you and for the world.

“Merton would say that we need solitude not for perfection but for simple survival in the life that God has given us. It is a return to the centre. It is not something remote, something to be thought of later on, in the future, when I am not so busy, under so much pressure. It is now.”

From: A seven day journey with Thomas Merton by Esther de Waal

So the word over my life now is “Abide with Me” both a call and a cry of my heart.

Or as Matt Redman puts it:

“Abide with me, abide with me; Don't let me fall and don't let go. Walk with me and never leave, ever close God abide with me.”

The vagabond Christ

2015-12-01T03:05:00.000-08:00

Wind swept vagabond Christ

travelling with His people

Dirty ragged Christ;

Living with His people under bridges,

in doorways, hostels, streets.

Hungry, tattered Christ

sitting at the empty table...present.

We do not travel, live, despair alone.

We pray “Come Lord” but you are here,

behind every door, in every family,

behind every eye.

Our journey is His journey.

John 1:14 “He pitched His tent among us”

The Message

Is it well with your soul?

2015-11-25T02:23:00.000-08:00

Mark 8:36 "What shall it profit a man if he shall gain the whole world and lose his own soul"

"Live in a way that is kind to your soul.

Keep vigil with your life.

Divine hands are cupped around our becoming.....

Divine hands are still cupped around your becoming."

Macrina Wiederkehr "Seven sacred pauses."

Know My "well done"

2015-10-30T12:47:00.004-07:00

I see your struggles to keep going;
I see your idealism being stamped on and ignored, and I say "well done".
Because I also see your faithful heart
your desire to bring My words of love to others.

I Am ~ even when there is no voice;
I Am speaking ~ even when there are no words to hear
~ even when no sound is uttered ~ I Am.

So know My "well done" over the silence, the struggles, the discouragements and the just plain ordinary for....I Am the God who sees you.

Ephesians 5:1 Take me as your pattern

2015-10-10T03:19:00.001-07:00

Stay with Me;
don't run ahead.
Stay with Me;
and let us rest awhile.
My longing is that you stay with Me........but when you leave....

Walk with Me;
don't run ahead.
Walk with Me,
that I may open your eyes to see; to see what I see.
So walk with Me.

Sit with Me,
listen to their stories,
Sit with Me,
so that My heart for them is your heart to.
So sit with them.

Take Me as your pattern, make My mind your own;
exchange your life for My life in you......and come.
Come to the place of the bruised and the broken,
the tired and the more than weary and walk with them.

In the secret place.

2015-09-29T12:04:00.001-07:00

"In the secret of my heart teach me wisdom." Psalm 51:8

Come then with Me and I will teach you. Sit at My feet and listen.
Master and disciple;
Friend with friend;
Lover and the beloved.
One.

In my inmost being teach me Lord.

In the silence hear My voice.......wordlessly bringing peace and stillness to your soul.
Be still and know that I am God.

Waiting!
Waiting!
Waiting!

Slowly, slowly, silently........the breath of a presence.....

And as we wait His presence grows in us.....filling, renewing.....loving Love.

So like seeds in the dark earth, in silence, waiting.......Wait.

adopted grandchildren

2015-08-23T03:54:00.001-07:00

I am the proud grandparent of three adopted grandchildren. Kyle 4 and his brother Noah who is 3 on Sunday who are adopted by my daughter and her partner and Imogen 3 who has been adopted by my son and his wife. Of course they are amazing!! But somewhere in the depth of my heart I remember that somewhere they have other grandparents, their birth grandparents and I find myself full of grief for them as they miss all the things these amazing little ones do and are. In case you are wondering none of them could have been adopted by a member of their birth family.
Somehow I felt I wanted to log what I felt and Facebook is definitely not the right place.

Sunday lunch

2015-08-23T03:48:00.002-07:00

This is quite a different post from the usual ones on this blog.

Today I am tired after only 4 hours sleep, but had to be up for an early morning service so a lie in was not possible. As I have been preparing the dinner, roast chicken, roast potatoes etc apple crumble for my husband and I and three others we had invited, I just felt tired. And then I remembered why I was doing this. I had invited three people who would have been on their own this Sunday and for one it would have been a home alone Sunday among many.....so I prayed over the flour and the sugar and the fat and the apples and the vegetables and the chicken and asked God to make them the best so we could enjoy fellowship, food and fun and love would be there.

Friendship

2015-07-29T08:05:00.001-07:00

Friendship;

deep intimate friendship,

heart knit to heart,

bone of bone,

flesh of flesh,

in the music of silence, one.

Jottings on "Feed My sheep"

2015-07-29T07:57:00.001-07:00

Friend for ever,
Do you love Me?
More than these?
More than your very life?
Do you really love Me?

Do you love Me?
Their life or your life?
Your rights or their rights?
Do you really love Me?

Do you love Me?
My Word or their word?
My hope or their chains?
Do you really love Me?

Do you love Me?
Then lay down your pride and your fear;
lay down your hurts and your pain
and walk with Me again

Feed My sheep.
Walk with Me again;
Feed My sheep;
Wherever I may take you
Feed My sheep
Friend for ever.

Time in the life of an unsure prophet

2015-07-17T11:59:00.000-07:00

Matthew 25:14-30; Isaiah 43:1; Luke 5:1-11 (or the Parable of the talents; being called by name; the calling of Peter, and advice on how to fish.)

The last word of the talk said, "you need to risk the talents you have" even to the point of loosing.....!!

So my prayer was this:
It really is all in Your hands, God. You say do not be afraid 'I will be with you'whatever. So help me to risk, Lord...help me to risk.
(the baby swallows have taken one more risk and they are being fed on the wing today ~ learning to do it themselves)

I feel I've only just allowed you to use my boat and you talk from it sometimes. But the deep water bit...? This means to risk, Lord. Have I forgotten that the risk is Yours not mine. Have I given up risking, Lord.

Do what I have put into your hands.

Jesus, Father, Holy Spirit listening to You is what I breathe. It is my daily breath.

I love you and you respond to that love. I give the desire to listen and you listen.
I give the gift of prophetic preaching and you give Me yourself. My word is spoken and others come closer to Me. At what point on the ladder do you want to say 'no', because this is only the beginning. Value yourself ~ take Me seriously. Use this gift in all its forms not just the safe ones. Dare to believe, dare to risk. Do not be afraid. I have called you by name.
You listen really listen and I will speak. Preach from your prayer, from what you hear from Me. Trust Me, risk with Me, cooperate with Me to change lives ~ watch plants grow.

Prophet

2015-06-24T11:56:00.000-07:00

Prophet

For twenty-seven years, Merton listened attentively in contemplative silence for the God of peace and he diligently shared with the world what he heard and learned. That’s the definition of a prophet. A prophet is one who takes quality time to be present to God and to listen to whatever God has to say, and then shares what God has to say with the world, whether the world wants to hear it or not, and even whether the prophet wants to share it or not.

Quotation from Thomas Merton – Peacemaker by John Dear (2015)

Washed and healed

2015-05-06T07:20:00.000-07:00

John 7:31 "If anyone is thirsty. Come to me and drink."

Matthew 26:36 "Stay here with Me."

John 13:8 "If I do not wash your feet, you have nothing in common with Me"

John 18:37 "All who are on the side of truth listen to My voice."

"Stay with Me. I desire your company.

But let Me wash you.

Come to Me with all that needs cleansing,

the wounds that need bathing,

the aches that need soothing,

and in that intimate touch I will give you words to pray again.

Come as a little child with scraped knees,

Come as an adult with the wounds of battle,

Come as a mother with heart torn,

Come as a lover with , empty heart.

Let Me wash you, cleanse you, fill you up.

Fill you up so you can bring My life to others ~

speak the truth they long to hear."

Prayer focus

2015-04-28T01:41:00.001-07:00

Just a few thoughts on prayer life.

1. Our intimate, passionate relationship with God as our Father is our primary first focus. Individually, corporately we need to come before Him regularly to listen and just to be with Him.

2. How can we do what He says if we do not know His voice. "My sheep know My voice". Over time we know His voice for ourselves and for others.

3. Everything else flows from this. This is not an add on this is the root of all prayer for healing, intercessions etc.

4. This is the heart of the Church

Rule of St. Benedict 4.
"Your way of acting should be different from the world's way. The love of Christ must come before all else."

Joy ~ or lack of it.

2015-04-14T09:05:00.000-07:00

New life everywhere so why is it so difficult for me to embrace this Easter in joy? Is hope low in my life....have I become sad.?...Wake me up Lord to the reality of Your presence in me and around me.

Then I felt God say to me, "you are being influenced by what you do for me, your call, rather than who you are before Me and your life with Me. You are My child and I am your Papa and I will never let you down and I just delight in you; I gaze on you in wonder, you the work of my hands. I died because I wanted you to have life and I rose so that we could be family together for ever, precious, precious child. You don't have to prove anything.

You are my "segulah" and that is what matters. You are embraced in love. I died so that you could be held in the embrace of the Father.

1 John 3:1 "You must see what great love the Father has lavished on us by letting us be called God's children."

Embraced in love

2015-04-07T02:27:00.000-07:00

1 John 3:1 "You must see what great love the Father has lavished on us by letting us be called God's children"

My love is lavished upon you

Morning by morning, as sure as the dew fall,

my love is upon you.

Because I live ~ you also will live ~ life abundant

everything has changed ~ for ever.

Joy and hope have entered our world.

My joy is within you

as surely and as certainly as the sunrise

it rises in your heart

Because I am hope ~ you also have hope ~ my hope

and this hope will never disappoint you ever.

Love is here ~ forever

Rule of St.Benedict ~ prologue

2015-03-31T08:19:00.000-07:00

Rule of St. Benedict ~ Prologue 7- 12

Let us get up then, at long last, for the Scriptures rouse us when they say: It is high time for us to arise from sleep (Rom 13:11).

9. Let us open our eyes to the light that comes from God, and our ears to the voice from heaven that every day calls out this charge:

10. If you hear his voice today, do not harden your hearts (Ps 94[95]:8). 11. And again: You that have ears to hear, listen to what the Spirit says to the churches (Rev 2:7).

12. And what does he say? Come and listen to me, sons; I will teach you the fear of the Lord (Ps 33[34]:12). 13. Run while you have the light of life, that the darkness of death may not overtake you (John 12: 35).

What a call to open our ears to the voice from heaven that every day calls out this charge: “if you hear His voice today, do not harden your hearts.

Are we listening to what the Spirit says to the churches? Are we running while we have the light of life? And what might that look like for us.?

Perhaps it looks like this:

Opening our eyes to the reality of God’s presence in our life.

Opening our ears to His word for us

Then taking that word, sharing it with others and living it out in our daily life.

Shelter in the desert

2015-03-14T05:16:00.000-07:00

Jeremiah 9:1 "Who will find me a wayfarers shelter in the desert....?"

Perceived God as saying to me " It is you who must build this shelter in the desert, a place where my people can find rest, restoration, renewal, peace and food for their souls on the journey. Be the shelter, the wayfarers shelter in the desert from the storm. As you find shelter food and water in Me so you will be for others."

We are called to shelter in God and be that shelter for others; to drink from the well and to allow ourselves to be a well for others, so that they go out and can do the same.

Psalm 91:1-2 "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, 'He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust."

Your love and Your grace are enough for me.

2015-01-22T08:14:00.000-08:00

Suscipe ~ St. Ignatius of Loyola

Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty,
my memory, my understanding,
and my entire will,
All I have and call my own.

You have given all to me.
To you, Lord, I return it.

Everything is yours; do with it what you will.
Give me only your love and your grace,
that is enough for me

I find this prayer by St. Ignatius very challenging. Are His love and His grace enough for me or do I even seek it. So often when we are hurt, upset, or just plain grumpy we look to others to fulfill our needs and yet here St. Ignatius says that "His love and His grace is enough". While I was pondering on this, and also feeling hurt about something, I remembered my grand-daughter going to her Mummy and asking to be "kissed better". Then I felt Jesus say to me:

"I will kiss away your hurt,

I will hold your face in my hands, look into your eyes and call you "beloved".

It is I who hold you forever.

Your tears pull at my heart....I treasure them in my bottle(Psalm 56:8)

I am the God who sees you, do not fear, My love covers you.(Genesis 16:13)

Your life is precious to Me, I gave nations for you.(Isaiah 43:4)

I gave My life for you, my precious child, do not fear."

Journey together

2015-01-22T02:02:00.000-08:00

Following on from previous post, I was reminded that Jesus does not want us to walk alone. It grieves Him to see us struggle when He longs to come alongside us and support and encourage us. This next paragraph is what I felt God wanted to say to me and to us.

"Hold My hand and walk with Me.(Isaiah 41:3)
Share My life, My footsteps, My bread...
My friend and not My servant.
Let Me tell you My heart...to unfold My love, My grace...to reveal what is hidden in My hand for you..
I am your Father and not your master, and you are My most precious child.
I thirst for your company, I search for a glimpse of your face; I listen for the whisper of your voice..
I love you beyond imagining.
Come hear My word for you, let My word touch you, heal you, strengthen you.

You do not,
you are not walking alone."

http://smarturl.it/crownsthrive

The link should take you to the Casting Crowns CD Thrive which has a song called "Just be held." or go to their Facebook page.