About Heroes

West Coast About Heroes Episode 9 - It's Comic Books, Douchebags!

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 05:20:07 -0500

By joshiebear

In this episode, we discuss all things comic oriented (or at least the stuff we care about). Deadpool, Punisher, Batman & Robin, War of Light, Green Lantern, Iron Man, and debate the stupidity of Knife-Guns. Also, 10 black super heroes are named. Who'd we miss?

West
Coast About Heroes - Episode 9

Ultimatum #5 Choose-Your-Own Verdict

Sun, 07 Jun 2009 18:03:42 -0500

By joshiebear

So I thought I might write a review for this comic since y'know, that's sort of what we're supposed to do here, but instead I thought I would just tell you my case (it isn't good) and then, as if this were some sort of court case, give you evidence supporting it.

Verdict: Ultimatum is shock-gore horse-$#!% intended to make you THINK it's good because they're doing "CRAZY" things, when really, it's just superbly bad writing with people dying to make it look important.

EXHIBIT A:

Apparently, Ultimate Spider-Man is dead. Way to go, assholes. The only reason 90% of the readers pick up Ultimate titles is now Jeph Loeb-fodder.

EXHIBIT B:

BUNGHOLES?! Damn you, Loeb. Nick fury DOES NOT EQUAL Beavis and Butthead. It's the Ultimates, you wrote Ultimates 3 so "Edgy", why can't he just say assholes, or jerks, or ANYTHING BUT BUNGHOLES!?!?!?!?

EXHIBIT C:

Explaining why this is bad would be like showing you the a video of the victim (Comic Books) being stabbed by the defendant (Jeph Loeb) and then having to actually explain why that is bad.

EXHIBIT D:

He can't even write his own Evil Villain Dialogue. He has to borrow it from the Bible. Lazy and super F'd out.

EXHIBIT E:

Gore for the sake of gore. OMG THEY KILLED TEH DOKTOR STRANJJ!!!1

EXHIBIT F:

More gore for the sake of gore. So retarded. So so retarded. No fights, no characterization, it's like a kid playing with action figures. All that's needed is just the characters hitting each other and everyone's having the time of their life. This is so $#!%.

So there you go faithful readers. Make up your own minds. Is this not awful? Also, I love Finch as an artist, and this is some of the worst work I have ever seen him churn out.

WCAH - Ep 8: Star Terminators Vs Transforming Wizards. The Summer Movie Extravaganza

Thu, 04 Jun 2009 09:20:01 -0500

In this episode, we discuss all things current in the realm of movies. Star Trek, Terminator, Thor, Deadpool, Wolverine, The Surrogates, Harry Potter, Transformers 2 and About Heroes Action News. Check out http://www.theworstthingintheworld.com/ for a preview of things to come.

West Coast About Heroes - Episode 8

New! Living as a Nerd...

Wed, 03 Jun 2009 04:44:02 -0500

By joshiebear

Hello, fellow nerds. Are you guys aware that we are in a Nerd Renaissance? It's a beautiful thing. Depending on how old you are, either you or your parents used to be ridiculed for reading comics, but now we're in a society that has fully embraced the comic nerd. No longer do jocks feel a genetic prompting to kick sand in our face at the beach in front of our girlfriends. We don't have carte blanche to run around willy nilly to be as nerdy as we want, but we are in the zeitgeist. Comic books are being recognized as a legitimate art form. Every other film is based on a comic book, and film is the blue part of the red white and blue blood that flows through our culture's veins (the red is celebrity worship and the white is pornography, which is ironic, right?). It is a new dawn for the nerd, and we can rest assured when we lay our heads down at night, knowing that we don't have to hide anymore. We can all just let our freaky nerd flags fly, right?

Not exactly. While we are in the aforementioned Nerd Renaissance, it's hard to let your bowl-cut hair down, bust out the fanny pack and not get any odd glances or muffled giggles in a public setting. It's been a long nerdy road I've walked down, and I thought that, in all my inflated wisdom and sense of self-importance, I'd impart some of the knowledge and tactics I've amassed along the way to give you some tips on how to blend in a little bit while still maintaining that healthy nerd blood pressure and keeping your social awkwardness cholesterol down. Forgive the bad puns, but hunker down. There's more coming.

Today's Tip: I'm gonna start this pretty broad here. This is more a basic human principle of social interaction, but it strongly applies to us nerds because we're one of the most frequent offenders when it comes to breaking this rule. It is important, not just as a nerd, but as a human being, to realize that not everyone is into what you're into. You might think it's amazing that Tommy ended up being the White Ranger or the Sentry turned out to be a 'real' character after all, but I can assure you, in any average setting, at least 90% of the people around you have no idea what you're talking about, and if they did, they most likely won't care at all. Your inner nerd belongs in a box. Not the repressive, moving box or shoe box type of box (box box box...just had to work a few more of 'em into the sentence). I'm talking more about a hamster cage of sorts with fresh sawdust, a feeder, a wheel and plenty of air-holes where it can run and burrow to it's heart's content without running all over the place leaving unsightly poops for people to see and contemplate. Know your audience. The phrase doesn't exactly apply, unless you're frequently performing in one way or another for the people around you. I digress. What I really mean is know who you're talking to. Know who's around you. Are you with your friends? Are your friends nerds? Are you talking to the clerk at Blockbuster? A good rule of thumb here is to not talk about it unless it's initiated or hinted at. If they light up at the fact that you're renting Iron Man, then maybe throw out an exploratory question. "Do you read the comics?" or "I hope War Machine's in the sequel!" or "I'm totally gay for the Silver Centurion armor!" are all good examples of this. Use your judgment in proceeding from this point based on their response. Bottom line, discretion is key, if someone came up to you and started blabbing on and on about sports or wrestling (no, they are not the same thing) or their favorite soap opera, think about how much you wouldn't care and not want to have the conversation. Don't drop nerd bombs, friends. There are more efficient/tactful ways to let your nerd out for a stretch. If my all-knowingness hasn't put you off yet, then check back soon for tips on how to do that, and much more! Hooray!

-Joshiebear

A Story From GrimlandStories.com

Thu, 28 May 2009 17:32:20 -0500

By Chris

A Dark Shot In The Sun
Entry #50, Jan 14th
By Cast-Iron Chris
www.grimlandstories.com

"Glenn, let's play a game," said Simon sitting at the end of the bar.

"Sure," said Glenn the Damsel Strip club's bartender as he cut a lime.

"Let's see how drunk I can get before I die."

"You mean over the course of your life or just today?"

"It's all the same to me, Glenn," said Simon as he took a pint glass and began to fill it with equal parts Jack Daniel's, Jim Beam, Johnny Walker Black, and Jameson. "Cheers, Glenn." Simon opened his throat and swallowed the drink in one gulp. When he sat the pint glass back on the bar something in the concoction hit his brain immediately. He felt a combination of mild euphoria and heartache.

Simon looked at Glenn to make sure he was still on Earth. Glenn was making a Bombay Sapphire martini. He walked over to Simon and stuck out the drink. Simon began to mumble the word "no" when a blurry hand reached out next to him and took the drink. Simon turned at the speed of light to see Lee "The Lotus Wolf" Fook.

Fook took a long sip of his drink and placed it back on the bar. He wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his heavy cloth Judo uniform.

"Hello, Simon."

"Hey, Lee."

Fook took another drink. Simon got Glenn's attention for another drink but was denied.

"The funeral was very nice, don't you think?" asked Lee.

"It was what it was, wasn't it?" said Simon his speech started to slur.

"Hold it together, friend."

"Did Kitten really kill herself?"

"What do you mean?"

"Either she really did overdose on drugs, or you killed her, Lee."

"I do not kill innocent people," replied Lee, slightly angered.

"Kitten wasn't innocent. She helped me frame Congressman Vasquez. She killed herself because she couldn't take the guilt...I just thought that if you did it than maybe some of the guilt would be lifted off of me."

"You did what was ordered of you by Mr. Gillingham. And besides, I heard you cleared Vasquez of the charges."

Simon rubbed his head aggressively, "I did that after I found Kitten dead! I finally pulled my head out of my ass and did something I believed in. It just so happened that what I believe in is morally right. Go figure. I just wanted to balance out the world. I wanted to do something right. You taught me that."

Lee smiled and took another sip. "I merely pointed you in the right direction. I am sorry Kitten died. We all deal with things in our own way."

Simon rubbed his head then his face. He pulled his skin down making it look like it was melting off and turned toward Lee. "Why are you here, Fook?"

"You know why I'm here," said Lee Fook, as he drained the remains of his Bombay Sapphire martini.

Simon stood up from the bar and stretched then stumbled. Lee was there to grab him so he wouldn't fall. Simon leaned on Lee as they headed into a private room. The strippers knew not to follow. After a few minutes past three gun shots rang out from the room. A few people screamed, a few more people pretended to scream, but everyone else pretended nothing happened.

WE AREN'T DEAD...

Fri, 22 May 2009 05:59:12 -0500

By joshiebear

Hey kiddies! It's me! That guy who sometimes throws up crass comics he didn't make about comic books and occasionally does a movie review or podcast! That's right, Joshiebear! I wanted to get on the site and let you know that we folks at AboutHeroes haven't forgotten about you and to thank you for your patience as we go through this transitional phase. To reward you for your patience, I thought I'd give you a peak at what we've been up to so you can know what to expect in the near future.

We've been developing a new live-action news show hosted by our very own Chris Heltzel that's set in the multiverse of comics to give a bit of a commentary on what's happening in comics while also just plain old keeping you, the readers, in the know. We've shot 2 episodes already and will be shooting a 3rd about 8 hours from when I'm typing this now. The set is totally green-screen, so all the extra stuff is fabricated by yours truly after all the other players have done their parts. I took some snapshots you can see below to get an idea of what the show's going to look like, at least for now.

We have a lot of really talented, amazing people working on this and I'm really excited to see how it grows and where it takes us. I sincerely hope that when we start releasing them, you will enjoy them as much as we enjoy making them. Please feel free to ask any questions you might have, I'd be happy to answer them.

What the hell happened?

Thu, 07 May 2009 09:22:50 -0500

So as you may or may not have noticed the site was down for about a day or two.

Simply put, our web hosting company was having issues. We're back up today but, as you see we've traveled back in time to APRIL. Slowly but surely I am gonna try recreating the posts between then and now so bare with me.

WCAHATM - Episode 7 - Mortal Kombat: Annihilation

Fri, 01 May 2009 08:06:41 -0500

This week the gang (Chris H, Joshiebear, Chris K and Kelvin) get Annihilated!

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation gets torn a new one, and in turn tears our hosts' brains apart, all for your listening pleasure! NOTE: 2 versions available, with and without movie audio. Please comment and let us know what you prefer so we have an idea of what to go with in the future.

West Coast About Heroes - Episode 7 - With Movie Audio

West Coast About Heroes - Episode 7 - Without Movie Audio

Episode 124 - Just Let Us Make Our Magazine!

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 13:34:11 -0500

This episode we talk with Ben and Justin, KY locals, about a comic project they're working on turning the normal way of comic publishing on it's head.

Link: http://www.blueprintsaintsmagazine.com/

Episode 124 - Just Let Us Make Our Magazine!

Editor's Note: Had to tweak the audio levels a bit to keep the volume down, just warnin ya.

West Coast About Heroes - Episode 6: Maybe She Gets Drunk At The Wrap Party?

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 15:13:44 -0500

The guys: Chris H, Josh P, Chris K, and Kelvin, catch up on comic talk and discuss shenanigans-laden personal experiences on porno sets. One the comics side of things we talk about Battle for the Cowl, Prelude to Blackest Night and all things Green Lantern, and a little Deadpool action in there too.

West Coast About Heroes - Episode 6

The Amazon #1

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 17:54:57 -0500

Writer/Artist: Steven T.Seagle & Tim Sale

The Amazon was originally published by Comico back a decade or two ago and thankfully has been given new life by Dark Horse with it's republishing of the short mini-series.

I'll be honest with you before somebody gave me this comic a week or so ago, I'd never heard of "The Amazon" and after reading this first issue, I think it's a shame.

The story essentially starts off backwards.A finished article and journal sitting in panel, preparing for the journey about to be taken. Our narrator's story is told via excerpts of this article and thru pages of his journal written whilest he was down in the Amazon. Thru the course of the story you learn Malcom C. Hillard, reporter, had been sent down to the Amazon to investigate the disappearance of an American worker off a logging site set deep within the Amazon rain forests. Hillard eventually talks to some of the missing worker's co-workers to find that they believe an Amazonian spirit had taken Robertson (the missing worker) and that all sabotage at the site was due to this spirit. After making his way to the site the next day Hillard talks with the foreman there, getting little to no information from the foremen telling him that the spirit rumors are just that, rumors. As Hillard leaves he sees two men in the distance around a bulldozer and a crane, running towards them he sees one of them briefly, a white man with tribal looking paint across his face. A couple days later news of a bulldozer and crane being busted are relayed to Hillard and he can't help thinking the man he'd seen on briefly fleeing the bulldozer earlier was in fact the missing Robertson.

The story itself, so far, is alright. I think if you go into this first issue expecting a comic you need to change your mindset though. Upon first read, this issue is very VERY slow. The best way I can use to describe the tonality and pacing for this issue is, it's like reading a normal book more or less, doesn't mean I didn't like it, rather I just appreciated the story on another level. TIm Sale's artwork as always was good. A side panel with Robertson in the leaves, eyes showing, watching Hillard, though formulaic and overused in many comics, was illustrated still quite well by Sale and is one of many of those standard panels in this first issue that stand out more then one would usually expect.

Overall this first issue of The Amazon wasn't half bad. I think if your looking for a comic of the non-Super-heroy type, this would be something worth picking up and maybe giving a shot.

B-

Strange Side Note:The illustration of Hillard bares a striking resemblance to our Mr Heltzel

Episode 123 - 2nd Bastard Same As The 1st

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 00:15:54 -0500

This episode Dan's back and we discuss Battle for the Cowl, Exiles, Flash: Rebirth #1 and more.

Episode 123 - 2nd Bastard Same As The 1st

Exiles # 1 Review

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 13:17:31 -0500

By EvilOmar

Writer: Jeff Parker
Artist: Salva Espin
Colors: Anthony Washington
Publisher: Marvel

I'm guessing that this is the fourth volume Exiles..if I don't include the original Malibu Comics run, just the one where Juggernaut, Reaper, and Siena Blaze were on....maybe I shouldn't count that one either. Anyway, this is a fresh start to a very very familiar story.

For some unknown reason Morph (assuming it's the same Morph from the original series) is now the Timebroker and has gathered six new Exiles to go on missions hopping from world to world. They are to fix what isn't supposed to be broken in these different Earths. I'm sure if you've read Exiles before this all sounds like the same idea. Well, it really is. Morph gives Blink, who doesn't act like the Age of Apocalypse Blink the Tallus that states what their missions are and they go off to find a world where Magneto rules and Wolverine drools...errr is dead.

The five new characters are Panther, Forge, Beast, the Witch, and Polaris. They all seem really bland and boring. Forge did die a pretty heroic death in his world though, so I have hopes for him. I think the problem I had with Parker's writing is that they all sounded the same. They read more like teenagers and I hate to say it, but they sound like they belong in the Marvel Adventures book series. I figure with a revamp that Parker would take this opportunity to introduce some new elements to the series and give us a fresh start. But, it's all the same just with new faces and different goals.

I can't say I loved the art either. Espin has a simple style that you can tell he is still perfecting. Characters vary in look and size from panel to panel and he adds very little to keep me interested in the already bland story. The cover by Bullock reminds me of Mark Pacella from the 90s and that isn't a good thing. The variant cover shown here really makes no sense. Since the only appearance Wolverine makes in the book is as a decapitated corpse. Way to boost those sells. I'll keep reading in hopes the stories and characters grow on me, but this is really a bad start since I had high expectations after reading Agents of Atlas. D

Wolverine: Weapon X # 1 Review

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 10:36:24 -0500

By EvilOmar

Writer: Jason Aaron
Artist: Ron Garney
Covers: Ron Garney, Olivier Copiel, Alan Davis, and Adam Kubert
Colors: Jason Keith
Publisher: Marvel Comics

It's been a long time since I've done comic reviews other than the manga with Melanie and Tommy. I guess I got really burned out on saying the same crap about Daniel Way fucking up Wolverine or Geoff Johns treating each character with love. So I figure let's go back to the drawing board and pump out some reviews again. After all it is partly the reason why Dan and I started the site. We just got tired of reading kiss ass review after kiss ass review. Why not start with a new ongoing series starring my favorite character: Wolverine?

Weapon X is a new ongoing series (hellz yeah! Wolverines needs more than 7 books a month!) by Jason Aaron and Ron Garney. The first issues introduces the idea of more people like Wolverine running around as killing machines. The twist this time is that it isn't the Weapon X program turning people into assassins, but Blackguard. All this information comes from ex-mutant and ex-badass Maverick. Now Wolverine, with a brand new costume has to search for these assassins.

Not much of a start, just a simple story that could have been told in Wolverine or better yet Wolverine Origins, since Weapon X is such a big part of Logan's past. But I'm not Marvel and I'm sure they have good smart people making the calls when the new Wolverine movie is about to come out. I see nothing new in this first issue; new Wolverine villains with claws! Apparently Blackguard thinks it’s a good idea to enhance the claws by making them glow in the dark. That would surely make it easier to sneak up on your target. What I did like about the issue is that it read like the classic stories of Chris Claremont or early Larry Hama. A self contained story centered around Wolverine without going too deep into his past or catching readers up with his current convoluted status.

I do like the way Aaron writes Wolverine, although I doubt Logan would chop a mugger's hand off; everything else sounded like the bub using Wolverine we all love. What I don't get is the Spanish line: "Me Cago en Diez" Which literally translates to "I shit on ten!" Not sure if the guy is counting down to his crap time or if he is shitting on Grant Morrison's Attack on Weapon Plus story, cause I'm with you on that one Spanish cannon fodder! The art by Garney reminds me of the late John Buscema. It's very sketchy but man he can really set the atmosphere of the threat that Wolverine will be facing. Stop buying Wolverine Origins and don't even think about pre-ordering that Dark Wolverine story; As far as good Wolverine stories are concern this is probably the only place you are going to find one. B

West Coast About Heroes - Episode 5 : Robocop

Wed, 08 Apr 2009 22:34:30 -0500

At the movies with About Heroes West Coast! This episode: Robocop! Have a listen, Leave a comment, Creep!

E-mail West Coast About Heroes at Chris at Aboutheroes dot com

We want to hear your suggestions for movies we should cover and comments about movies we've already done, or just send us some love!

West Coast About Heroes - Episode 5