The Circle of Control

My career as a coach has given me the opportunity to meet a number of special people. One of my current clients, named Dawn, absolutely falls into that category. Dawn’s career has been spent as a Community Engagement Strategist. In that role, she has supported those needing self-development growth assistance in her suburban Ohio neighborhoods. While in job search transition, as the funding for her most recent employment ended, and while still looking for her next opportunity, Dawn has taken on the ability to draw in income for herself through substitute teaching.

Most recently she shared with me a new tool she developed which had the purpose of assisting her students dealing with overwhelm when confronted by decision making, relationships and worldly events. The intent of the tool is to make the students aware of their ability to use their inner powers of thought, intention and communication to live their life with less anxiety. The tool is called “The Circle of Control”. When Dawn shared it with me for my feedback, I not only saw the benefit of it for students, but frankly for many that I meet in job search. The tool works as follows:

Picture a diagram with an inner circle and an outer circle. On the top of the diagram are the words “The Circle of Control”. On the bottom of the diagram are the words “Self-Love Rainbow”. Picture the outer circle of the diagram in a light blue color, while the inner circle of the diagram is in a violet color. The outer circle identifies those items Out of a Person’s Control. They include:

• The Economy
• Global Political Issues
• Natural Disasters
• My Past Behavior
• Death and Illness
• What Others Choose to Do/Say/Value/Feel
• Traffic or Wait Times
• If Others Are on Time
• The Weather
• Strangers On Social Media
• The Happiness of Other People

The diagram’s inner circle is entitled “In My Control/Influence”. Those items include:

• What I say or do
• How I choose to react
• How I spend my free time
• Who I follow on social media
• The amount of effort I choose to give
• How I talk to myself
• Whether or not I choose to ask for help

As I indicated earlier, when I meet those in job search, especially those that have been just let go from the job they have had, I often find them as individuals living in the “Outer Circle” of the diagram. They are of a belief that no one will hire them, their skills will not be valued, that they will be considered too old to be hired, and many other negative thoughts and beliefs. However, the more our work together, can get them to the values of the “Inner Circle,” where they realize they have the control as to what they believe and the skills and talents they offer to others, this is when progress is made. They learn to target what matches to their talents, skill sets and values, and find those companies that give them an opportunity to use those skills and support those values.

Do you find yourself living in the “Outer Circle in your life? Do you let outside influences impact how you live your days? Take a step back and develop a “Circle of Control” diagram for yourself. You do not have to include exactly the same items that were in the diagram overview I shared above. In fact, Dawn the creator of the diagram, encouraged her students to populate theirs with their own inner and outer influences. However, be ready to put your Inner Influences far more in charge of your life and reactions than your Outer Influences, if you indeed find those Outer Influences are dominating your thoughts.

The post The Circle of Control first appeared on Absolute Transitions.

Curiosity Did Not Kill the Job Searcher

There is a proverb that goes back to the 1600’s that says “Curiosity Killed the Cat.” And, while my intent is not to anger or alarm any pet lovers, its meaning is that a person who gets too nosy into the affairs of others, risks being prone to having a reaction they would prefer not receiving. However, when it comes to the world, I am a part of, assisting those in their job search find their next opportunity, curiosity is a trait that often will benefit them. Now certainly, I do not mean one should go prying into the private information of companies for which they want to work, or do things that are illegal, but there are ways to learn of possible opportunities of organizations that may need one’s talents.

Some of those ways are quite obvious. Job postings for a company on either their company business page, or on job sites as LinkedIn or Indeed is certainly a way. Keeping abreast of a company and their announced direction through industry wide publications is another way. However, there are additional ways of learning of potential opportunities that may require a bit more research on behalf of the job searcher.

Job searchers may be a part of professional organizations where other members of the organization share in the same job function or discipline of which they are a part. However, those other members of the organization may be in different industries than the job searcher. As such, they may learn of opportunities in another industry which may not be available in the industry in which they work.

A job search professional, (whether they are in search, or actively working), wants to have part of their life a robust network of professionals. There should be conversations with those professionals to learn of what is happening in each other’s world of work. Perhaps, one’s networking partner knows that their company is searching for someone with the job searcher’s skills and is willing to recommend them for a role. However, the job searcher may not learn of such a role, if they first don’t take the time to have individuals in their professional network, and secondly, keep that network active as much as possible.

An often-overlooked source of learning about possible opportunities are one’s family members, neighbors and friends. Do you truly know what the people that you come in contact with really do in terms of the work they perform? When you ask them about how their work is going, are you just asking to be sociable, or are you truly inquisitive about learning more about what that individual truly does do? In short, ask yourself, am I TRULY A GOOD LISTENER? The good listener, looks when engaged in conversation to talk about 1/3 of the time, and listen and observe 2/3 of the time to what is going on around them. It opens them up to clues to what may be happening in particular companies, industries and work-related trends.

What are the skills that you hear that it appears are being sought in the job market? Do you have them? What does it take to truly obtain them? Are they ones one can learn with a little time an effort, or does one truly need to invest time in a major degree program? Again, if one needs to put forth some effort, but not necessarily sacrifice time that they need to devote to other responsibilities, that curiosity may put them in a better position if indeed they need to seek out a new line of work due to a company workforce reduction or retooling.

So, again, while being curious to the degree of nosiness, particularly when it comes to the personal life of another, is not a trait you want to have, in the world of career development and work, it is a worthwhile trait to have. It actually may help to be a deterrent to one becoming “obsolete” in the workforce long before the time they choose to step aside.

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There are 4 ways to go about one’s job search. All four of the methods I am about to mention, can and should be used. However, as you will see, one of the methods has historically had a far higher percentage of success for job searchers than the other three. Even in what may be the most difficult of job markets that I have seen since I have been a career coach, (I was just entering this profession, as the job market dip of the 2008 to 2011 period was ending), I am finding clients that have had the most success in connecting with opportunities have used some format of the method we will highlight in this piece.

When most find themselves in search, they use the most popular of the job search methods, which is to respond to job postings online. This method, while time consuming, provides the job searcher the most direct method of applying for job positions for which they believe they are qualified. However, one problem dominates this method. Not only is the job searcher seeing the job opening, but so are all other job searchers. Those searchers may not only be in the job searcher’s geographic area, but anywhere in the world. An opening once posted, may receive hundreds of applicants. To assist the hiring company in finding “qualified applicants,” the use of informational technology screening tools is used to pick applicants. Once enough “qualified applicants” are selected, all other applications sit in the hiring company’s computer system. The applicant does not even receive back the courtesy of a reply that their application has not been selected.

Some applicants choose to use recruiters or staffing firms to help get their application in front of a hiring company. If the applicant is extremely qualified for the position, the recruiter/talent acquisition professional will move their application along. However, if they are not, their credentials just sit there in the recruiter’s files. Other applicants do try to take the initiative to reach out to companies themselves directly to see if a targeted company is hiring. Sometimes this approach works. It particularly works if the organization often does not post its openings, and relies on applicants to the “hidden job market” reaching out to them. Certainly, it is a better strategy than the blind online applying.

However, the method that historically has been the most successful for those in job search, is tapping into your network of contacts. Whom may those contacts be? Some may be individuals that you have met at professional association meetings, or at educational seminars for your profession. Others may be individuals from the most recent organization at which you have worked. If you have been diligent on building your network, others can be individuals that worked with you in the past, and your ways separated as each went on to different companies or opportunities in your career. A network contact can be your neighbors, friends from your religious activities, alumni from the schools you attended, and even your relatives, (immediate family members and extended family members). The individuals you have in your network may work at companies that have openings that need your skillsets, or may have fellow family members that work at those organizations. They are people who know the culture of the organization to which you may be applying, what is important to that firm, and what details you may want to present about yourself, that show you are a right fit for the opening that company possesses.

So, you may say, how do I approach someone in my network, especially if I have not spoken to them for a long time. First, look to reach out and see how they are doing at that point in their life. Then be open and indicate that you are in “job search transition,” (not unemployed), and that you are looking to identify opportunities that are right for you. Indicate you did see such an opportunity at the firm they now work. Ask about the firm and its culture. It is fine to ask if they may know about the area having the opening and if they know individuals in that part of the organization. See if your contact is willing to speak up in terms of your candidacy. They are not obligated to do so, but you will find that particularly if they feel you are a right fit for the organization, they will be willing to do so. Above all, thank them for whatever help they offer to provide to you.

Your professional network, are those professionals who know you best. They are willing to speak up on your behalf. They can alert you to opportunities that may not even be of public knowledge at that time. Additionally, if you have shown in the past a willingness to help them and others in advancing each other’s career, you wind up being a “support team” for each other. In short, they become your “raving fans”.

As I said in the beginning there are 4 ways to go about the job search process. And, while all the methods could work for you, the professional network and those who know of you has shown historically to have about a 75% rate of success of helping job searchers both identify and land opportunities. Ignoring using that approach at all, sets you up for a job search that could wind up being very long and lonely.

The post Reconnecting With Your Professional Network first appeared on Absolute Transitions.

I like to tell each new client that comes my way that they should not see themselves as “unemployed,” but instead in “job search transition.” Changes occur in our life all the time. Some of them are more pronounced than others, (getting married, the birth of a child in our family, moving to a new city), while others can happen more subtly. For example, in my coaching business, most of which is driven by work with outplacement organizations, the two major organizations to which I supply my coaching abilities, have undergone major revision. In both instances, the boutique specialized firms for which I worked for over a decade have been bought out by larger organizations. And, while I am still coaching, how clients are assigned to me, the way things are recorded in the records of the work I do with my clients, and the management of the firm, have changed in their style and culture.

In the case of employment, changes in the management and culture of the company for which we work is something becoming far more common in recent years. However, changes can also occur in those organizations which one chooses and volunteers to belong. Sometimes members who were part of the organization that you were a part of choose to move on, and those that join, while still wonderful people, just do not provide the same chemistry for you as an individual. In other instances, as one moves forward in their life (defined as aging), activities that one did on a regular basis become a chore to do. They become more of “an obligation” to get done, as opposed to a task one enjoys doing.

With my job searchers, particularly those who may have been with the same firm for a long time, or who may have done the same type of work for a long time, I highly encourage them to “assess” where they are now in their life and career. Do they still want to work for a large firm, or are they open to working for a smaller firm? Is it possible they might want to work a part-time schedule, versus a full-time schedule. Perhaps they want to provide their services as a consultant, or in a small business they own. Or maybe they are in a strong enough financial state that they do not want to work at all. (That does not always mean that they are not active, but perhaps their activities are helping as a volunteer at a cause that is meaningful to them).

We all face points of transition in our lives. I personally faced one almost 20 years ago now, when in my early 50’s and becoming a recent widower, I knew that a life working in corporate America was no longer what was right for me. It did not mean I immediately knew what was next. It took some time to take advantage of resources available to me through the outplacement package I received from my corporate job assignment, to learn of possibilities of what could be next for me. Carefully examining possible paths, I found out the one that was right for me. It did require being open to “certification and reeducation” on my part. It also required learning to work in a style that I had no familiarity with in the days I was strictly working in corporate America, and adapting to it accordingly.

Years go by, times change, and we reach new stages in our life. I know that I am likely facing that again in my life, as I move into my seventies. When will be the right time to transition to something new? I do not know for sure. What will I do if I choose to transition? That is something to still be determined. However, as I think back on it, and realize I have done it before, it makes me aware that it is possible to do it again.

Are you open to the transitions that you may be facing in your life? Do you see them as ones you are choosing to make or ones that are being “forced” upon you, (be it by your employer, your family, your health, etc.). Remember, you are not the only one who has faced changes in their life, and that if you take the time to Assess, Research and Target paths that may be right for you, you will be on your way to the next chapter in your life.

The post Transitions first appeared on Absolute Transitions.

Reflections

By the time this blog is posted it will be late March 2026. By that time as a Christian, (Roman Catholic), I will have been in the Lenten period of the church year for over a month. Lent is a time of reflection for Christians. Those reflections may be prompted in their interpretation and messages they receive in daily scripture reading. They may come from homilies they here from the leaders of their church. Or they may come from when they allow themselves to sit in silence, closed off from all distractions, and just process the messages they are receiving on how to move forward in a positive direction in their life.

When one finds themselves in job search, especially if it was because of a staff reduction that was unexpected, it can be a time of emotional grief. I have known clients, especially those whom I meet through outplacement assignments, who will say to me they want to work with me, but need to take time to absorb what has happened to them in the elimination of their job. When we do get started with our work, I look to draw out of them, thoughts they may have on what they may want to do next. Some of that may come through the completion of assessment tools, which look to bring out their “values” at this point of their life. Other ideas may come from encouraging them to read articles on types of work they think they may enjoy doing, or on companies for which they always envisioned working. While some may need to get back working quickly, I look to impress on them that perhaps they take a job role for which they are not really suited for “cash flow” needs, while they look to explore what they really would like to do.

Getting distracted is very easy in our world of today. I know I, as one who works much of his day at the computer, can find myself getting easily off course when I choose to look at other websites, or read articles that come up in front of me on the computer’s news feed. So, when it comes time to reflect on how you may want to move forward, here are some tips to make the most of your reflection time:

• Find a quiet place to be by yourself. You may have to close the door to your room. Or perhaps you may go to the local library and find a desk by yourself. Or if your thought process brings in a spiritual realm, stop by your local church.

• Jot down thoughts that come to you, which you may not have time to explore now, but may be ones to investigate further, later. As far as your medium for writing down your thoughts, just make sure it is one which you will immediately think to go to at that later time. For some, it could be on a notepad. For others it could be on their phone, (just make sure you write down the thoughts, and not begin scrolling into other applications).

• Look to make a schedule for yourself each week. What time are you blocking off as “me time?” Your “me time” could be for research on possible next opportunities for you. It can be time for networking meetings with others in the fields and industries you are looking to explore to learn more about the needs of those disciplines of interest to you. Look to make the “me time” non-negotiable if you can. It will not be all 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. But, for those minutes or hours you set aside for yourself, the needs of others, (unless absolute emergency), will have to wait.

• Perhaps find a “job search buddy” for your search. They may be someone going through job search themselves. You are there to support them through their journey, while they are there to support you. Support may mean just listening to ideas prepared, interview practice, or keeping the other on track when they make a commitment to do a particular set of tasks as part of their search.

In a world of constant “noise” do you take time for yourself to reflect? Whether it is on the items that are most important for you to accomplish for you and your family, items on which you want to improve your skills or take up for enjoyment, or as we outlined here perhaps your next job opportunity, reflection is always there for you to plan out your next steps. It is up to you if you plan to use it as the gift that it is in your life.

The post Reflections first appeared on Absolute Transitions.