What My Clients Have Brought to Me

Even my closest friends and family do not always completely understand what it means when I say “I am a Career Coach” or “I am a Job Search Strategy Coach.” Many will say to me, you tell people that are in job search what they must do to move their job search forward, or to be successful. Or if the family member or friend is having a problem, they may say, “Tell me what to do! You are a coach!” I try to explain to them; it really does not work that way. Coaching is more about the coach having good questions to ask the client, to draw out of them their inner thoughts. It certainly involves intensive listening to what is being said. And, it even may be a discipline that leads to suggestions of approaches that may be tried, based on my experiences with other clients and on the job search coaching principles I learned through the methods of the Five O’Clock Club many years ago.

Ultimately technologies and methodologies aside, it is all about people connection. I have worked with hundreds of individuals over the years. Some may work with me for only a session or two, and then move on, since the discipline to explore what is right for them, does not call to them. They want instant answers to their search. For others, job search may come when they really cannot concentrate on themselves. Perhaps, they will need to care for an aging parent or spouse. Others may be burned out from the work they were doing, and need time to explore what it might be they want to do next. When I am assigned a client, (from my outplacement engagements), I never know what to expect until I have had both a chance to speak to the individual, and see their reaction about learning about themselves at the stage of life where I meet them.

Some clients may reach back from time to time. Perhaps they are in a situation where they may be exploring a new job opportunity, and want to exchange thoughts on how to go about it. Others may be doing well themselves, but perhaps they have a child or spouse who is frustrated with the search process and can use someone with which to partner. In today’s world with tools such as Linked In, and its messaging to an individual, what may be happening to those in one’s connected network, I learn of clients that I worked with, moving on to new opportunities, perhaps even in new geographic areas from when we worked with each other. Some may even move on to new career disciplines. Others even become coaches or consultants themselves.

One of the things my clients do is help educate me, sometimes on worlds I would not even think of, if not having been introduced to them. For example, one of my earliest clients was a young fellow who had physical disabilities because of being born with spina bifida. However, from the very beginning, I could see he was a great advocate for himself. We not only developed a client/coach relationship but a friend’s relationship that last to this day. He told me a story about when he was in college, that there was a fire in his dormitory. He had to be carried out of the building, which upset him. What upset him was not the fire, but the fact that the school had not designed the building well at all for those with physical disabilities. As opposed to just staying angry, he worked with the campus administration to educate them on the changes that needed to be made around campus to accommodate those with disabilities. That in turn has led him to continue to advocate for others, first doing work at social services organizations, and then ultimately in the offices of the State of New Jersey.

This past weekend, I got to hear a similar story at my niece’s college graduation. The student recognized from the class for his contributions to the school was a young man who also had a physical disability that had him wheelchair bound. In fact, his accident occurred five years previously when he dove into the waves at the beach in an area that was shallower than he realized. He wound up being permanently paralyzed. He was supposed to be a graduate of the class of 2025, but because of the accident, his school start was delayed a year. The accident may have impacted him physically, but not in terms of his personality. He connected well with his classmates and administration. He looked to get involved in on campus activities, in addition to his studies. Only he discovered a similar situation as my client did at his college many years before. Areas of inaccessibility throughout the campus. However, just like my client, he worked with the school administration to rectify the situation. Instead of limiting himself, he helped to open things up for himself and those like him.

So, yes, I do assist my clients with ideas on how to enhance their job search process. But, in turn they help expose me to worlds I may not have known before. And, again, where parts of the job search process appear to be getting more automated, there will always be a place for the people dynamic and relationship as part of the process.

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Being Honest with Yourself

I have been doing the type of work that I have been doing as a Career Coach for 16 years now. While some of my clients reach out to me directly, mostly through referrals, the majority of my clients come to me through outplacement arrangements. In such arrangements, an employer arranges for career services for their employees if they unfortunately need to let them go due to staffing reductions. An outplacement services company makes the contractual arrangement with the company for services. The outplacement company then makes arrangement with those with career coaching talents to administer their program, hiring the coach through a 1099 contractual agreement.

I began working such arrangements over 10 years ago with 2 such firms. (I added a third such arrangement with another company on an as needed basis in 2021 after the COVID-19 pandemic). When I began such arrangements, I liked them very much. The companies providing the services were known as “boutique” providers. This meant they were providing a specialty service. In such arrangements, usually the size of the company is small, and as such one gets to know some of the others with whom they work, (even if that connecting is on a virtual online basis).

However, times change. Original owners who started the boutique firm sell their firm and move on, sometimes because of age, sometimes because the model they had does not work in an evolving society. Other organizations take over. Some may be far bigger than the model used before. They may bring together, a number of different organizations that do similar things but serve different client markets. The new company may have their own methods for reaching and working with clients. And, while they need the 1099 contractual coaches from the companies they have taken on, those coaches are asked to work in different styles than they had previously. When one has worked a particular style for a long number of years, and now is asked to change, it is not an easy thing. In addition, when the changes and technology supporting them change, that only adds to the angst in supporting such processes.

As we came into May 2026, this all came to a head for me. An initial misstep on my computer forced the need to reset up all my accounts on my computer all over again, (with the assistance of a technical support person). Then I learned of a merger involving one of my outplacement companies which had as its first step including a major technology support implementation. I also learned the person who had been my supervisor would be leaving the company at the end of May. New management was coming in. And, while mergers and acquisitions can be exciting, and can be the cause for new opportunity, sometimes it depends on what point you are in your life.

I did not just choose to work outplacement for the companies that I did. It evolved as I got to know ownership, I got to know company philosophy and ways they were looking to support the clients they served. That came after I had been a part of a long 30-year career, and chose to move on to an environment that suited me best at that point in my life. And, once that life that I established about 15 years ago moved forward, I had a good sense of what was right for me, and what was not.

And, while, things have happened so quickly, I am sensing that it is time for another change. Again, I do love to assist those in their job search with the methods and approaches that I have learned. I can still see doing so on an ad hoc basis with my own 1-person small business. However, perhaps it is time for me to realize, the outplacement model is not for me anymore, or at least not at the level of intensity that has come to me through the companies that I serve. Again, I am trying to be honest with myself, as I am still feeling the sting and effects of the last few weeks in my life.

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The Circle of Control

My career as a coach has given me the opportunity to meet a number of special people. One of my current clients, named Dawn, absolutely falls into that category. Dawn’s career has been spent as a Community Engagement Strategist. In that role, she has supported those needing self-development growth assistance in her suburban Ohio neighborhoods. While in job search transition, as the funding for her most recent employment ended, and while still looking for her next opportunity, Dawn has taken on the ability to draw in income for herself through substitute teaching.

Most recently she shared with me a new tool she developed which had the purpose of assisting her students dealing with overwhelm when confronted by decision making, relationships and worldly events. The intent of the tool is to make the students aware of their ability to use their inner powers of thought, intention and communication to live their life with less anxiety. The tool is called “The Circle of Control”. When Dawn shared it with me for my feedback, I not only saw the benefit of it for students, but frankly for many that I meet in job search. The tool works as follows:

Picture a diagram with an inner circle and an outer circle. On the top of the diagram are the words “The Circle of Control”. On the bottom of the diagram are the words “Self-Love Rainbow”. Picture the outer circle of the diagram in a light blue color, while the inner circle of the diagram is in a violet color. The outer circle identifies those items Out of a Person’s Control. They include:

• The Economy
• Global Political Issues
• Natural Disasters
• My Past Behavior
• Death and Illness
• What Others Choose to Do/Say/Value/Feel
• Traffic or Wait Times
• If Others Are on Time
• The Weather
• Strangers On Social Media
• The Happiness of Other People

The diagram’s inner circle is entitled “In My Control/Influence”. Those items include:

• What I say or do
• How I choose to react
• How I spend my free time
• Who I follow on social media
• The amount of effort I choose to give
• How I talk to myself
• Whether or not I choose to ask for help

As I indicated earlier, when I meet those in job search, especially those that have been just let go from the job they have had, I often find them as individuals living in the “Outer Circle” of the diagram. They are of a belief that no one will hire them, their skills will not be valued, that they will be considered too old to be hired, and many other negative thoughts and beliefs. However, the more our work together, can get them to the values of the “Inner Circle,” where they realize they have the control as to what they believe and the skills and talents they offer to others, this is when progress is made. They learn to target what matches to their talents, skill sets and values, and find those companies that give them an opportunity to use those skills and support those values.

Do you find yourself living in the “Outer Circle in your life? Do you let outside influences impact how you live your days? Take a step back and develop a “Circle of Control” diagram for yourself. You do not have to include exactly the same items that were in the diagram overview I shared above. In fact, Dawn the creator of the diagram, encouraged her students to populate theirs with their own inner and outer influences. However, be ready to put your Inner Influences far more in charge of your life and reactions than your Outer Influences, if you indeed find those Outer Influences are dominating your thoughts.

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Curiosity Did Not Kill the Job Searcher

There is a proverb that goes back to the 1600’s that says “Curiosity Killed the Cat.” And, while my intent is not to anger or alarm any pet lovers, its meaning is that a person who gets too nosy into the affairs of others, risks being prone to having a reaction they would prefer not receiving. However, when it comes to the world, I am a part of, assisting those in their job search find their next opportunity, curiosity is a trait that often will benefit them. Now certainly, I do not mean one should go prying into the private information of companies for which they want to work, or do things that are illegal, but there are ways to learn of possible opportunities of organizations that may need one’s talents.

Some of those ways are quite obvious. Job postings for a company on either their company business page, or on job sites as LinkedIn or Indeed is certainly a way. Keeping abreast of a company and their announced direction through industry wide publications is another way. However, there are additional ways of learning of potential opportunities that may require a bit more research on behalf of the job searcher.

Job searchers may be a part of professional organizations where other members of the organization share in the same job function or discipline of which they are a part. However, those other members of the organization may be in different industries than the job searcher. As such, they may learn of opportunities in another industry which may not be available in the industry in which they work.

A job search professional, (whether they are in search, or actively working), wants to have part of their life a robust network of professionals. There should be conversations with those professionals to learn of what is happening in each other’s world of work. Perhaps, one’s networking partner knows that their company is searching for someone with the job searcher’s skills and is willing to recommend them for a role. However, the job searcher may not learn of such a role, if they first don’t take the time to have individuals in their professional network, and secondly, keep that network active as much as possible.

An often-overlooked source of learning about possible opportunities are one’s family members, neighbors and friends. Do you truly know what the people that you come in contact with really do in terms of the work they perform? When you ask them about how their work is going, are you just asking to be sociable, or are you truly inquisitive about learning more about what that individual truly does do? In short, ask yourself, am I TRULY A GOOD LISTENER? The good listener, looks when engaged in conversation to talk about 1/3 of the time, and listen and observe 2/3 of the time to what is going on around them. It opens them up to clues to what may be happening in particular companies, industries and work-related trends.

What are the skills that you hear that it appears are being sought in the job market? Do you have them? What does it take to truly obtain them? Are they ones one can learn with a little time an effort, or does one truly need to invest time in a major degree program? Again, if one needs to put forth some effort, but not necessarily sacrifice time that they need to devote to other responsibilities, that curiosity may put them in a better position if indeed they need to seek out a new line of work due to a company workforce reduction or retooling.

So, again, while being curious to the degree of nosiness, particularly when it comes to the personal life of another, is not a trait you want to have, in the world of career development and work, it is a worthwhile trait to have. It actually may help to be a deterrent to one becoming “obsolete” in the workforce long before the time they choose to step aside.

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There are 4 ways to go about one’s job search. All four of the methods I am about to mention, can and should be used. However, as you will see, one of the methods has historically had a far higher percentage of success for job searchers than the other three. Even in what may be the most difficult of job markets that I have seen since I have been a career coach, (I was just entering this profession, as the job market dip of the 2008 to 2011 period was ending), I am finding clients that have had the most success in connecting with opportunities have used some format of the method we will highlight in this piece.

When most find themselves in search, they use the most popular of the job search methods, which is to respond to job postings online. This method, while time consuming, provides the job searcher the most direct method of applying for job positions for which they believe they are qualified. However, one problem dominates this method. Not only is the job searcher seeing the job opening, but so are all other job searchers. Those searchers may not only be in the job searcher’s geographic area, but anywhere in the world. An opening once posted, may receive hundreds of applicants. To assist the hiring company in finding “qualified applicants,” the use of informational technology screening tools is used to pick applicants. Once enough “qualified applicants” are selected, all other applications sit in the hiring company’s computer system. The applicant does not even receive back the courtesy of a reply that their application has not been selected.

Some applicants choose to use recruiters or staffing firms to help get their application in front of a hiring company. If the applicant is extremely qualified for the position, the recruiter/talent acquisition professional will move their application along. However, if they are not, their credentials just sit there in the recruiter’s files. Other applicants do try to take the initiative to reach out to companies themselves directly to see if a targeted company is hiring. Sometimes this approach works. It particularly works if the organization often does not post its openings, and relies on applicants to the “hidden job market” reaching out to them. Certainly, it is a better strategy than the blind online applying.

However, the method that historically has been the most successful for those in job search, is tapping into your network of contacts. Whom may those contacts be? Some may be individuals that you have met at professional association meetings, or at educational seminars for your profession. Others may be individuals from the most recent organization at which you have worked. If you have been diligent on building your network, others can be individuals that worked with you in the past, and your ways separated as each went on to different companies or opportunities in your career. A network contact can be your neighbors, friends from your religious activities, alumni from the schools you attended, and even your relatives, (immediate family members and extended family members). The individuals you have in your network may work at companies that have openings that need your skillsets, or may have fellow family members that work at those organizations. They are people who know the culture of the organization to which you may be applying, what is important to that firm, and what details you may want to present about yourself, that show you are a right fit for the opening that company possesses.

So, you may say, how do I approach someone in my network, especially if I have not spoken to them for a long time. First, look to reach out and see how they are doing at that point in their life. Then be open and indicate that you are in “job search transition,” (not unemployed), and that you are looking to identify opportunities that are right for you. Indicate you did see such an opportunity at the firm they now work. Ask about the firm and its culture. It is fine to ask if they may know about the area having the opening and if they know individuals in that part of the organization. See if your contact is willing to speak up in terms of your candidacy. They are not obligated to do so, but you will find that particularly if they feel you are a right fit for the organization, they will be willing to do so. Above all, thank them for whatever help they offer to provide to you.

Your professional network, are those professionals who know you best. They are willing to speak up on your behalf. They can alert you to opportunities that may not even be of public knowledge at that time. Additionally, if you have shown in the past a willingness to help them and others in advancing each other’s career, you wind up being a “support team” for each other. In short, they become your “raving fans”.

As I said in the beginning there are 4 ways to go about the job search process. And, while all the methods could work for you, the professional network and those who know of you has shown historically to have about a 75% rate of success of helping job searchers both identify and land opportunities. Ignoring using that approach at all, sets you up for a job search that could wind up being very long and lonely.

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