Absolutely Wicked

Happy Valentine's Day Lovers! Hope you survive it!

2012-02-13T15:49:00.000-08:00

The day of love has finally arrived!

Also, the day for disappointment for not getting those big ass flowers 'coz your poor darling can't afford it even though you have reminded him everyday to save up since last July, hence a stupid fight, hence a horrible, unnecessary break up.

Also, the day when singletons pretend to be happy by going out with their buddies, endlessly convincing strangers that they do not need anyone to feel happy, but later when they reach home, they weep quietly eating a bucket of ice cream, scrolling their Facebook for fellow Forever Aloners to not feel that bad about themselves.

Also, the annual only-in-Malaysia Christian bashing by certain dumb, ignorant quarters on how Valentine's is a Christian thing where God allows us to have dirty pre-marital sex for just this one special day, in order to prevent our Muslim friends from doing similarly.

So basically, it's the same shit all over again, year to year, yet here we are, posting about Valentine's Day - whether to wish our loved ones, to go all passive aggressive on things we didn't receive, to post quotes about how being single rocks, or to post news and "historical" links to prohibit others to not partake in this sinful Christian celebration.

14th February only happens once a year. No wonder people go nuts about it.

So Happy Valentine's Day, people.

*It means I care about people who read this blog, and I'm not going to preach Jesus' teaching nor do I intend to sleep with you. Unless you're Ian Somerhalder.

Hope there'll be no hearts broken by tonight.

Frequently Asked Questions About Teachers On Google

2012-02-10T04:21:00.000-08:00

People ask a bunch of shit about teachers. But the Internet takes the cake.

And here's a collection of frequently asked questions about English teachers.

With these kinds of questions, I'm sure you know the answer for the first and the last question from the above screen cap.

17 Ways Girls Fake Pretty

2012-02-04T06:27:00.000-08:00

So you finally got a hot babe in your arms. Like, a ten. Flawless skin, rosy cheeks and lips, breasts and ass you can snuggle into, and basically the frame of Sofia Vergara.

But I hate to break it to ya, you will wake up to a whole different person the next morning. Stop rubbing your eyes in hopes she'd magically turn into a ten again. Just. Run.

Because girls have mastered the art of faking pretty. I know I did.

While some of us do not have the luxury and the balls to resort to plastic surgery, we find affordable, effective, albeit temporary alternative ways to fix every insecurities we have and look damn good.

I know some girls are blessed with naturally good looks, but it's bull if they don't make at least one effort to look pretty too. They may not have to wear makeup, but they still have to shave their armpits, don't they? That's nothing natural about that.

It may or may not be an insecurity problem or a cry for attention - putting on a brick of make up or stuffing boxes of tissues into a bra, but for me, these are called 'enhancements' and we vain creatures always want to look pleasant. Like wearing a tie to an interview. You wanna look good and presentable. Or cheap and trashy. Depending on the occasion.

So guys, when you're out on a date with a Megan Fox, do notice these 17 things that she might've done to create that illusion.

And girls, be proud of your Faking It skills and tell me which ones you are guilty of!

1. Dying hair other colours than your natural hair colour, covering up gray hair included, 'coz you're not Katy Perry.

2. Using extensions or weave to create instant long and thick hair, 'coz you just can't wait another 6 months to let your hair grow naturally.

3. Using foundation and concealer to even out skin tone and cover blemishes, 'coz you're just plain ugly without it.

4. Clever shading of the face to create slimmer face, high cheek bones, etc, 'coz Tyra Banks said high cheek bones are very model-y.

5. Injecting face with Botox, vitamin C and other questionable crap to fill out wrinkles, to create perpetual blushing cheeks.

6. Trimming eyebrows and filling it in with makeup, 'coz people are unkind to those with unibrows.

7. Putting mascara or wearing false lashes to lengthen or volumise eyelashes, 'coz you secretly admire Mr Snuffleupagus.

8. Putting on eye makep to make eyes look bigger, 'coz what God gave you isn't enough.

9. Using eyelid stickers to create the illusion of double eyelids meant for Asians, especially.

10. Using coloured contact lenses to create creepy alien bug eyes.

11. Putting on blusher to create rosy cheeks 'coz you're the type that just won't blush no matter how badly you want to.

12. Wearing lipstick, 'coz you look like you've just gone through chemo.

13. Wearing perfume to mask your natural body odour, 'coz whoever said that your natural body odour is what makes people attracted to you, here, smell my sticky, sweaty armpits after a workout. SMELL IT I SAY!

14. Wearing padded bra, wonder bra, silicone bra or inserting slabs of chicken fillet into your bra so that men can finally notice your chest instead of your face for once.

15. Wearing a girdle, or other constricting device to make last night's sorry evidence of a McDonald's binge to look as if it never happened.

16. Wearing padded panties, or this time inserting slabs of meat of an unknown beast you got from that friendly butcher in your underpants, 'coz you can make adjustments when you have decided whose ass is comically bigger, Kim K's or J.Lo's.

17. Wearing high heels, 'coz you have dwarf genes.

Now you can play Guess What She Fakes with your head on your first date :D

'Coz you really do not want to be in this situation.

P.p.s: Girls, did I miss out anything?

All Dogs Go to Heaven

2012-01-27T23:30:00.000-08:00

All Dogs Do to Heaven (1989)

If you have watched this animated movie when you were a kid, then you'll know and believe in your heart that all dogs do go to heaven.

Even when you are no longer seven, and you have bills to pay.

I lost a pup recently, and it was heart fucking wrenching.

I kept rewinding in my head the scene where I found him dead, every day since.

Til one morning, when I wake up, I didn't feel the need to relive the harrowing experience in my head anymore.

Your consolations and happy thoughts have helped me grieve through it. Thanks.

"Heaven is the realm of eternal happiness. God, in his infinite wisdom, will certainly grant humans the company of their loved ones, even if one of those loved ones is a dog. God can do anything when it involves the peace and serenity of his greatest creation, a human life. That’s probably why he gave us dogs in the first place." ~Robert P. Lockwood, Catholic New World columnist

And that's why I believe Gabby is now chasing rabbits and cherubims all day long and LOLing at his brothers and sisters who have to fight for bones thrown from the kitchen on earth. It doesn't hurt that much when you keep that thought and faith in your head.

Though the Prebysterian church may beg to differ.

Photosource

Thank God I'm Catholic.

Watch down on us, baby. Till we meet again.

R.I.P Gabby Baby

2012-01-24T16:15:00.000-08:00

Gabby died on the first day of Chinese New Year. He was only 6 months old.

The neighbour called my dad, saying that he saw a black dog being hit by a car on the highway in front of his house.

My brother and I hurriedly drove to said highway, praying really hard that it wasn't one of our dogs. Gabby was indeed the only one who wasn't there wagging its tail, greeting us at the front porch.

As soon as the car got to the highway, I was a little bit relieved that there wasn't any dog on the road. That maybe, the neighbour saw it all wrong.

As soon as we parked the car at the shoulder of the road, I did see a black dog lying on the grass. Still praying that it wasn't mine, my world shattered as I saw a green collar on it.

It was my Gabby.

I prayed he would still be alive, just maybe severely injured.

When I reached towards him, my heart broke like it never did before.

His eyes were wide open.

Yet very much lifeless.

My baby is dead.

Gabby is gone forever, and the little burial ground behind my house will always be a painful reminder that there is one puppy less greeting us with an eager face and wagging tail.

It will be painful because he was the only one who would give us the most sympathetic puppy dogs eyes. There will be no more forlorn eyes looking at us from the backyard.

It will be painful because he was the most pampered one. He loved giving and getting hugs, and I'd give anything to hear him yowl during feeding time when he grew impatient, or when I needed to carry all 13kgs of him towards his eating spot, 'coz he was just that pampered. Hence his nickname, Gabby Baby.

It will be painful because he was the only one who got Sookie's looks. He was the only one, damn it.

It will be painful because he was the one whom I'd like to bring if ever I move out from my family house. I'd always be missing something, my heart void of a little black furball.

And it will be all the more painful because we will never see him grow up. We only had 6 months with him.

There were probably coincidental 'signs' that foreshadowed his demise. There were 6 bowls to feed the pups, yet one broke. It hurts now to think that I don't have to replace that broken bowl. Mom also saw him nibbling on a bone alone like there was no tomorrow several hours before his death. Turns out he really didn't have another day. And within all the devastation of finding out that my baby is really dead, I had a dejavu when I saw my mom petting his lifeless body, crying, while his siblings and mom consoled us by licking us all over. I dreamt about that exact scene before. Who knew it would really happen.

When I fed him the day before, as I untied his chain, he placed his fore legs over my arm and laid his head on my chest. He would usually do that, but it lasts until I get the chain off. But even when I unchained him, he still wouldn't budge and I just let him hug me for another minute. Maybe he knew that would be the last hug he'll ever give me.

It's been two days and I still can't believe he's gone forever. Reality hits me when I round up the puppies, and only 5 comes to me. And one is buried further ahead. It aches real bad.

Gabby has left us devastated, 'coz we still have so much love to give him, but he just had to go. But I truly believe that he is now in doggy heaven, where he can run all day long in the meadows, have bones anytime he wants, play in a pool and bask in the sun. A place where there are no flees and no fireworks. Just rainbows, sunshine and bones. He might also truly become our guardian angel, as he was named after St. Gabriel.

But I still awfully miss him and would look over the horizon, wishing he would come running back home, lick my face and give me a big hug.

Rest in peace, baby. When I call your other 5 siblings, I know you will be right there with them too.

You can never be replaced, or will ever be replaced.

It's the year of the dragon so...

2012-01-22T06:36:00.000-08:00

...I would like to wish all readers a HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

Still super busy with school/home/family/CNY related stuffs, so here's a fappable photo of yours truly for you, dear stalkers.

May the Water Dragon bring us more moneh and happiness!

P/s: This is the only Chinese New Year related photo I can find for the purpose of this post, and not 'coz I narcistically find myself banging hot and that I just had to unnecessarily show it to you to fuel my vanity.

One of The Benefits of Being a Teacher

2012-01-19T05:26:00.000-08:00

As y'all know, people put a lot of expectations on teachers. They expect teachers to solve every math problem, to know the meaning of all the words in the dictionary, to make every student score 20 As, to tame the wildest child, and to cure cancer.

This absolutely sucks, because no, we can't cure cancer nor do we necessarily know the meaning of the word 'fiduciary'.

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE.

Due to this insanely high expectations on teachers, we are put on a pedestal.

Meet a stranger, and tell them you're a teacher. 90% will go, "Oh wow, that's great", like you're a super hero or something. But of course, they will not stop right there and will continue spewing crap like, 'And you work half day and have lots of holidays too, what a great job!" And that's your cue to mentally strangle them.

Ok, back to happy thoughts on being put on a pedestal. On the bright side, people tend to 'respect' teachers more as we are the 'moral compass' of society, and we are 'flawless' beings. Note that I air quote those words. So whatever bad things we do in the closet, say, smoke pot, watch child porn, or put kittens in vacuum bags, to outsiders, we 'look' like angels and we would never break the law.

Therefore, one of the benefits of being a teacher is getting away with the law.

Let me summarise my recent tale with them men in 'forms, Meme Style.

Click on picture to be directed to awesomer view

So next time you're about to be screwed by the traffic police/ police, just say you're a teacher. Or a nurse (I'm informed that they too get free passes, especially those in uniforms).

You will definitely be excused. True story.

Why Dumb Kids Shouldn't Be Allowed To Use The Internet

2012-01-16T05:50:00.000-08:00

I'm all for freedom of speech and daily ramblings on the Internet...

...but besides writing god awful blogposts punishable by smoking to death by Grammar Nazis...

...they know have infiltrated Youtube as a mean to profess their undying love for their sweethearts. AND MAKING IT PUBLIC for the whole netizen to see and be awed by their thoughtfulness and sweetness.Puke.

This is Dumb Kid Using The Internet Level 99.

Awww...I wish my boyfriend recorded a dumb video of him baby talking to me and letting the whole world know that he isn't the slight embarrassed eunuching himself like that.

Excuse me as I scrap my eyes out and wash my ears with acid.

Kids, use the Internet wisely. Google knowledge, upload videos of your cat, spend your homework time on 9gag. But just. don't. do this.

P/s: Commentors have been really mean to this love sick Youtube abuser, saying stuff like, "destroy it before it lays eggs!", but some of them really sympathise her and chastise the person who uploaded this vid after she took down hers, because 'only the devil does this thing (the uploading)'. But apparently she doesn't care that the video is back on because she is like, totally in love with her boyfie and nothing else matters. So, do you feel that she should be run down by a bulldozer, or does she deserve some credit for her ~~stupidity~~ courage?

I can't write awesome stuffs now 'coz...

2012-01-13T05:03:00.000-08:00

...I'm slumped with work.

Preparing for next week's quickie Sport's Day.

Newspaper choice was unintentional, I promise.

I called it a 'quickie' because we were only given 5 days to prepare EVERYTHING from finding athletes to training them and completing paper works to dealing with the tedious, miscellaneous things that other teachers are assigned to do, but pretended to be buried in their own work to notice it, while having long drinks at the cafeteria.

And in between, I had to register new kids entering my class (THEY KEEP ON COMING DAMNIT! 45 students in a class is absurd!), give them their text books, prepare lessons, fill out data forms AND take ALL of my six labs to be neutered. Phew. All this in 5 days. I am da woman.

Hence, my once chic, straight out of a magazine room...

...now looks like it came straight out of an angry tornado's anus.

So here's to hoping I survive my school's Sport's Day without losing my voice and my sanity and I will still be able to write awesome stuffs soon.

Have a great weekend people.

Now excuse me as I pick up whatever that is stinking my room as we speak.

The First Week of Work: Of Sucky Things & The Event That Could've Killed Me

2012-01-05T23:48:00.000-08:00

So for some schools, class started on the 4th of January, which is a Wednesday.

Starting your first day of work/school on a Wednesday is seriously odd.

Like, usually you will be full of vigour on your first day (which is usually a Monday).

But then it is NOT a Monday. It's a Wednesday.

Registering that it is a Wednesday, you then think like a Wednesday.

Wednesday = Half way through the week =Can't wait for Friday = Woohoo!

Then you lost all vigour, and now the only thing you can think of is OMAIGOD I CAN'T WAIT FOR FRIDAY TO COME.

Hence that was exactly how I felt about my first day of work of 2012.

I know some of you teachers are pretty weirded out 'bout this fact too.

My first week of work already sucked.

Sucky Thing #1

Not only that I was on I-can't-wait-for-Friday-to-come mode, I was disappointed when I wasn't given the class I was supposed to get.

I had an agreement with my boss. I get the two last classes, but I get to teach the two best ones. Which will keep me sane. So it's a pretty fine deal to me.

But then I didn't get the Form 4 Science class. Instead I got one of the last half last classes.

Now I have three weak classes, and one just okay (half failures) class.

Motivation = 0

I know some teachers got worse - all weak classes, remove classes etc, and I have nothing to complain about my first world problem.

The thing is, I have prepared awesome lessons and activities for these kids who are able to comprehend English. I have so much in store for them, and we're gonna have so much fun.

But I'm not so sure with my this class now :/

I know I should have more faith in them, but I'm just afraid I'm setting myself up for dissappointment.

Then again, I managed to pick myself up and got my self-affirmation on by the end of the day.

The road to awesomeness is paved with thorns one needs to thread. Yes, you can quote me on that.

Sucky Thing #2

On the second day of work, it was announced that we have replacement class this Saturday.

The very first Saturday of apocalypstic 2012.

Luckily it's just the Cross Country thing we had to to before our Sport's Day starts in two weeks time. *holy god the abomination that is sport's week!*

But still, so uncool.

Sucky + Dangerous Thing #3

My 'ol manual '88 Pajero went FULLY AUTO on my way back home from work.

As I blared Super Heavy's Miracle Worker, something even louder came from my engine as I dropped gear to turn on a roundabout. You know your music is loud when you can hardly listen to your voice as you sing along badly to it. But my engine roared louder than that.

It felt like my car was gonna explode at the roundabout opposite the hospital. Which was quite convenient had anything happened to me, if you think about it.

But I survived the roundabout without any epic explosion, and as I shifted to the fourth gear, the angry roar stopped. However, as I lifted my right foot from the accelerator, hey what do you know, the car didn't slow down but kept moving at 60 kilometres per hour!

MY CAR JUST FUCKING BREEZED ON THE HIGHWAY LIKE A BOSS WITHOUT ME DOING ANYTHING.

It could hardly slow down when I braked and once I reached the other roundabouts and dropped gear, (there were like four more roundabouts before reaching my home, WTF) it roared again like it was gonna cough me out from the car.

It went even crazier when I was reaching home, as it was a gravel road going uphill, and I was on the first gear.

Reaching my compound, the tyres screeched like bitches and the brakes couldn't get it to a complete halt.

I had to turn off the engine while it was still moving towards its future crash site.

So I eventually reached home safely.

Holy fuck things could've gotten way worse.

Luckily I had a plethora of religious items in my car.

A mechanic will soon call in to see what the devil went wrong. 'Coz there's no way that monster can be driven to the workshop. And I just sent my car for an overhaul. Thank God for the RM97 salary raise.

So basically that's my first week of 2012.

I got a demotivating class, I have to work this Saturday and I could've died.

Notice that I have positive thoughts at the end of every sucky event? There might still be hope for sunshine for me.

So how's your first week of 2012?

10 Things to Achieve in 2012

2012-01-02T23:45:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR PEOPLE!

Anyone still having a hang over? I'm swearing off alcohol...till my sweat stops reeking of scotch and don't gag looking at a Carlsberg poster.

Anyways, once again I'm doing the most cliche thing to be done on a new year.

Resolutions!

Or to be more precise, things to achieve in 2012.

So here goes!

1. Drink eight glasses of water.

Photosource

I think the cause of my acnes, eczemas, dragon skin and whatnots is because of lack of water. And this is when I say to myself, "No shit, Sherlock!" But it's just sooo hard to hit the eighth glass mark 'coz I don't drink water when I feel thirsty (like, why, right? And yes, I know that if you feel thirsty it means you're dehydrated. So don't answer that), and secondly, I pee super frequent when I drink lots of water. Like, every 15 minutes within an hour. And it's annoying that I have to get my ass up and pull my pants down every 15 minutes. BUT OKAY I WILL TRY TO DRINK 8 GLASSES OF WATER THIS YEAR. Ergh, I hate arguing with myself.

2. Eat fruits every day.

Photosource

I now have at least a tiny portion of greens every time I eat, and now I'd like to have fruits every day. It's not like I hate 'em. It's just that if it's not in the fridge, then fine no problem, I will survive another day. This year, if there ain't no fruits in the fridge, I will drag myself to the supermarket to buy some. I promise.

3. Minimise bruises, scratches and mosquito bites.

This is only the top

I admit I can be a klutz sometimes, and succumbing to the itches from mosquito bites is like reaching Nirvana. Just blissful. But then it leaves nasty scars on my legs. Also, my dogs tend to stand on their two feet and paw me when they get excited. Within their soft padded furry paws are evil, eagle sharp talons. Now my legs look like Kat Von D's tattoed legs. Only ten times hideous. I need to keep my nails short and always wear long pants when I'm with my adorable cerberuses.

4. Actually join my netball team.

I was elected as their manager, after the coach saw that I can't play shit. They always ask me to join them for training though, in which I'm always reluctant to because I simply suck. But since they are really cool people, I will support them even though they may never pass the ball to me, ever.

5. Make my English Language Society kick ass

Photosource

Something like this, but for an academic club

Since I was asked to helm the club without any warning early last year, I wasn't able to execute much of what I have planned in 5 minutes before the annual grand meeting. So hopefully, my motivation and commitment will stay strong till we have our farewell end year partay.

6. Less rage in class.

Photosource

I know I'm an awesome, lovable teacher. Like that nursery rhyme, when I'm nice, I'm really, really nice. But when I'm bad, I'm Lucifer's abandoned child who knows not what love is. So when faced with juvenile kids, I tend to grab them by the collar, throw their bags from the top floor, and rip their papers. I need to be more of a poker faced mindfucker rather than a raging monster.

7. Travel to two countries.

Photosource

I did it in 2011 and I wanna do it again this year!

8. Climb Mount Kinabalu...again!

I almost died when I reached the peak last time in 2005. But upon seeing the view, every suicidal step was worth it. So I wanna scale one more time before I get old, fat, diseased and have kids. Carol, wanna do it again? :D

9. Save enough money to buy a gizmo.

Photosource

I particulary want this.

Okay, I lied when I said expensive gadgets don't appeal to me. Initially it didn't. But then I had an epiphany when I had lunch with my friends at a restaurant. The moment we sat down at our table, they whipped out their phones and started 'checking in'. Total silence for about 5 minutes. As for me, I whipped out my 'ol phone too, to get this - delete old messages, as to not look dumb and uncool staring into space, as everyone at the table bury their heads in their smartphones. And this happens with every group of friends I hang out with. So yeah, I need to get something cool to bring during group gatherings. No, something cooler, so that I can have a gadget-face-off and I'd win, hands motherfucking down. Damn, I thought peer pressure only happens when we are a dumb teenager.

10. Complete/Continue 2011's resolution.

Photosource

Like achieving baby butt's skin and going to the gym regularly. And to continue becoming awesome and doing awesome things so that I can be an awesomer person this year. And that's my number one resolution. Of course, to have a heart of gold and a teleportation machine (eat that, techies).

So what's your number one 2012 resolution?

2011: The Year That Was

2011-12-30T21:54:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I had to jump onto the 2011 summary/highlights/recap bandwagon.

It's like making you read my whole year's blogposts once again.

But I'm sure you have no qualms with that right? If you do then just skip this shit out.

First, the shitty things.

1. Learned that kids these days are pretty damaged and there's a thin chance you can fix them.

The Story of A Damaged Girl

The Story of A Labelled Delinquent

2. Learned that being a teacher sucks.

Paper Marking Week

Demotivated Much

I Threw A Kid's Bag From the First Floor And He Spat

A Teacher's Dilemma

A Confession of A Young Teacher

And now, the awesome things.

1. Got myself a ride. LIKE A BOSS.

2. Went to the Philippines and Cambodia.

3. Passed my uber important interview.

4. Sookie gave birth to eight bouncing puppies! And Ting Ting too!

5. Celebrated my 25th birthday like a rock star.

6. Learned that being a teacher can sometimes (read sometimes) be one of the best decisions I didn't make.

Teacher's Day: A Day to Bask in Glory...Like A Boss!

I'm A One Year Old Teacher

Hm, looks like 2011 has been good to me after all.

Happy new year people. May the apocalypse be postponed.

Photosource

P/s: How was your year? :D

MERRY CHRISTMAS NETIZENS!

2011-12-23T16:50:00.000-08:00

Previous years I had something smart to say.

Now I don't 'coz this article, The 4 Christmas Articles You'll See On The Internet totally owned me.

So.

I'll just upload a random Christmas picture from Google for you.

I'd dress my 6 labs in Santa's, but I know by the time I grab my camera they would've chewed through it already. So I thought I'd just find one where a good lab puppy would behave being dressed up instead.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

AND THANKS FOR ALL THE LOVE!

Review: 10 Things to Achieve in 2011 - And What Have I Actually Achieved

2011-12-21T06:34:00.000-08:00

10 more days till 2011.

WHAT WHO WHERE WHY HOW?

It feels like I just wrote a post on the 10 things I have to achieve in 2011, then suddenly I wake up this morning realising that 355 days have passed.

:O

Yeah. Time is just a fickle dude. One moment you feel like jabbing your eyes 'coz your meeting was gonna last for an eternity, and one moment, you're here, 10 days before the end of 2011.

:O

Okay, so back to my 2011 list of achievements and non-achievements. Let's see how successful I was.

1. Pass my teaching interview (SPP).

Achievement Unlocked!

2. Get my profession certified and promoted to a full-fledged teacher.

My letter of certification will arrive aaanytime now.

3. Make extra money.

I did! But for like, only for a few months. I got lazy. I value my free time of doing nothing more than money, it's absurd.

4. Have half of my students in my dumb class pass their SPM.

This goal is pretty invalid as I didn't get to teach this class again this year. But I did manage to push my Es and Ds students to get Cs, Bs and even As.

5. Achieve flawless, blemish-free skin.

FAILED. STILL ZITTING LIKE A 15 YEAR OLD. WTF.

6. Restrain from eating too much oily food and more greens.

I did this...sorta.

7. Go to the gym regularly.

Failed. Only went the first few months, which became less frequent...till I totally stopped. I think it was because of work. Yeah, that has to be it. Really!

8. Save the world by using reusable bags.

Did it! But I ALWAYS forget to bring dem bags. But I consider this as done, as it does become a habit, when I don't totally forget about the green bags in my car compartment. Somewhere.

9. Go bungee jumping in New Zealand.

Task failed :(. But I went to the Philippines and Cambodia instead :D

10. Continue to be an awesome teacher.

Despite the shiteous things I went through, I still came out awesome.

All in all, 7 out of 10. THAT IS AN ACHIEVEMENT, RIGHT?

Had I only achieved 3 goals, well, that's mighty depressing and I'd write cynical posts on how overrated new year's resolution.

But this is actually fun. I get to see how successful, and unsuccesful I am in life.

Now what shall I achieve in 2012? *holyfuckshititsalmost2012*

Picture source

If we don't die, that is?

Why Tweens Shouldn't Be Allowed To Blog

2011-12-17T02:43:00.000-08:00

Because they spew too much crap for the Internet to even handle.

Ergh, I miss the days when the Internet is ruled only by college kids and yuppies.

Siem Reap Sneak Preview

2011-12-13T23:33:00.000-08:00

I'm back y'all!

And I can't wait to ~~brag~~ share about my trip!

Unfortch most of the photos were taken using my friend's camera, so I'm still waiting for the pics.

So I'll just show you the picture of my slightly 'shopped face with the Angkor Wat temple background as a teaser.

Will bore you with the details once I get dem all pictures.

Until then!

Holiday Hiatus

2011-11-30T22:52:00.001-08:00

It's December and I have much sightseeing, eating, shopping,partying and camwhoring to do.

Locally,

Photosource

and internationally.

Photosource

Until then, aloha!

P/S: Guess the two places! Winners get a congratulatory remark from me! :D

Turning 25 Like A Rock Star

2011-11-28T06:21:00.001-08:00

I wanted to have a great night to celebrate my Silver year.

We started out nice, fresh and clean.

Then things started to get out of hand...when we broke one of the glasses playing a drinking dice game...and another. Two broken glasses in less than an hour.

The next thing I know, I was on stage.

Sung 'Happy Birthday' to, forced to chug a beer and down a shot, danced and almost fell flat in front of the whole bar.

And the rest of the night was a flurry blur.

A MOTHERFARKING ROCKING FLURRY BLUR OF INSANITY.

I even flashed my butt to the band. Thanks to my batshit crazy friends. And I was too pissed drunk to even notice. Luckily, I wasn't wearing granny panties. And luckily, no incriminating photos/videos were taken. I'd have to quit my job like, now. That's how insane it got.

But best of all, I got to live my rock star dream.

It was an atrocious, drunken attempt, but still...Rockstar Achievement: Unlocked.

So all I wanted was a great night.

Instead I got OUT OF MY FUCKING MIND INSANE.

I'd turn 25 all over again.

Even if I forget how to smile properly.

*Photos courtesy of them awesomely retarded friends

Bad Essay: Confessions of A 16 Year Old Casanova

2011-11-25T15:31:00.001-08:00

Actually, his Engris isn't the worst.

He is just the worst person to be in a relationship with.

A systematic bastard genius, nevertheless.

Something Cute To Help You Go Through This Week

2011-11-22T00:42:00.001-08:00

And when I say cute, of course it means my puppy.

O HAI

You're welcome.

HOLIDAY!

2011-11-19T05:22:00.000-08:00

FINALLY!

Time to relax, unwind, watch too much tv shows, play too much Tower Defense games, spend too much time with my dogs, party till black out, shop till I have to owe my dad (again), go sightseeing and take pictures to post on FB just to gloat, hang out with old buddies and NOT wake up at 5 in the morn!

It's gonna be a great holiday.

Minus the part where I need to spend my free time cracking my head on how to prepare my last classes for SPM next year, plan awesome activities for my ELS club, wash the clothes, feed the dogs, sweep and mop the floor and cook. Ah screw it.

Happy holidays teachers!

Non-teachers, hang in there - your 1 week leave is almost near! :D

Cheapest Solution For A Slippery Cheap Phone

2011-11-15T02:15:00.001-08:00

I am not a techie.

I don't go crazy for the latest iPhone7, Blueberry, and Androidholyfuckrobotsaremakingusslaves.

It's because ~~my wallet's empty a week before my next salary comes in~~ it just doesn't appeal nor occur to me to buy the latest gadgets fresh from China factories with a billion dollar corporation label on it.

I buy only what's practical, and what's practical for me is this phone:

It's a Samsung E2652W Champ.

I like it 'coz it's a dual sim card phone with WiFi features. The only things I need. I no longer have to lug two phones with me ('coz I have two numbers if you're a bit slow) and always miss calls and reply messages late when I forget to bring either phone with me. Plus it's cheap. Below RM400 - for a fully touch screen phone. And it's sleek too. All in all, a sweet deal.

HOWEVER.

Being sleek AND cheap has its drawback.

It easily slips from your hand and down it goes into three pieces.

ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

It has no grip at all. Eff.

Once, I was about to take a call while ordering my food at KFC and it just effing slipped out of my non-greasy hand. One part landed near my feet, the other on the counter, and the last part almost went into the fried chicken grill rack. The cashier kindly returned pieces of my handphone to me. I bet her phone's waaay sophisticated than mine. Because she gave me that smile. Psh. I bet she doesn't have a car loan. Psh.

Even though ~~I dropped~~ it accidentally slips out of my hand and breaks apart all time, it still works well. 'Cept for the alarm. It can creepily set off at midnight without me ever setting it.

So I just can't throw it out! 'Coz it still works. Another principle I live by is to not waste things. I'm still wearing my Maybelline eyeshadow which have expired 3 years ago 'coz there's still tones of it. I need to get the sty on my eye checked though.

Back to my problem. Since it is an el cheapo phone, they don't sell accessories for this type of phone, say a rubber casing, rubber side grip and whatnots. Not even on Ebay.

So this is what I do:

PROBLEM = SOLVED.

5 DAYS LEFT!

2011-11-13T02:06:00.001-08:00

...Till I get married.

LOL JK.

Don't tell me you almost believed that. You're an idiot if you do.

What I wanted to say was...

I HAVE 5 MORE DAYS LEFT TO WORK FOR THIS YEAR!

I know fellow teachers would rejoice with me, but non-teachers would love, love to punch my face right now.

No?

Well, you haters can put a sock in it 'coz we'll probably will be caged in our classrooms longer next year as some genius decide to extend our working hours to 9 whooping hours.

For those who say we deserve it because we 'only work half day' and we have gazillion holidays, well...

I can go on and on and on about the shit we've to put up with in class, at the staffroom and at home, but I choose not too. My other fellow teachers can do that. Here's what I can do and say: FUCK YOU.

SO yes, back to my ecstatic mood before next year when somebody decides that in only 6 months, it is enough to tell whether students and teachers should spend 9 hours at school, I would like to reiterate that I have only 5 days left to wake up at 5 in the morning and probably have a hurricane of a week writing reports, completing datas and playing Angry Birds on my mom's tab during boring end-year meetings.

So yes, have a great final week teachers!

And good luck to all SPM candidates!

And suck it up non-teachers 'coz we gon' have a loooong holiday ahead :D

PS: I apologise to my loyal non-teacher readers if I you feel offended because I love you and I need your traffic (but I'm not sorry to haters.HAHA.)

PPS: IT'S MY BIRTHDAY MONTH TOO! I'll pm my home add to you for those who are on my Facebook :D

Oh yeah, oh yeah!

How To Feed 6 Hyperactive Puppies

2011-11-07T17:25:00.000-08:00

When they were just a few weeks old, feeding time was a joy to due their adorableness.

Then they got bigger.

And bigger.

And they just won't stop growing.

Still totally adorable though. But they can maul you. Seriously. They almost got my bro's jugular. He could have bled to death.

So you can imagine the mayhem of feeding time now.

But not anymore.

'Coz we have a system now.

Chain. Feed. Unchain.

Someday when on a whim you decide to get half a dozen of puppies, especially Labs or other hyperactive dogs, this may be your solution.

Behold, the miracle system of feeding six hungry little monsters.

FYI, we decided to keep Puput after all (her supposed couldn't take her due to an unfortunate event).

So more fun for us!

And chances of getting mauled.

Significantly Insignificant

2011-11-05T03:56:00.000-07:00

Somebody got awarded this:

It was definitely not me.

Fudge.