Abstract Thoughts

Knock 'Em Down as They Come

2009-11-17T20:52:00.000-08:00

Filed Under PERSONAL GROWTH/DEVELOPMENT

We've all had the days.

You're the first one up, and the last one to bed. You run around doing random errands, accomplishing any task that so happens to cross your mind and is of relative importance, an entire day with all work and no play, and despite your constant effort, when you lay your head down at night you still feel overwhelmed with goals, desires and to-do lists.

There are a few things this can be, attributed to. One of the most common is a tendancy to ignore the little things in life and let them continue to build up. By the time you get around to the tasks you've pushed to the side, you've forgotten what half of them even are, much less how to go about completing them.

Small tasks are like loose change. Sometimes 11 cents doesn't seem worth the annoying clink it makes in your pocket to carry it, yet one month later when you've deposited all your pennies, quarters, nickels & dimes into the water jug, you suddenly have a free dinner for 2 at a restaurant of your choosing.

We do the same thing with our smaller problems, putting them off to the side to accomplish bigger, more meaningful tasks that have a bigger impact at the present time. However, even if we don't consciously remember each and everything we put inside, somewhere deep down in our subconscious is our mental "water jug", hard at working storing records of all your unfinished business you've accumulated throughout your day-to-day activities. Eventually we begin to feel completely overwhelmed and powerless. Even worse, due to the more recent stresses overshadowing the older, "less important ones", we forget exactly why.

It's vital to knock down the problems thrown at you as life sets them up. I love the analogy of the technically-skilled boxer VS the slugger. The slugger doesn't focus on the little shots that are going to wear his opponent down throughout the course of the fight. He looks for the one big shot that is going to give his opponent an up-close and personal heart-to-heart with the canvas. And many times he is successful. He can go 30 to 40 fights achieving victory in this way, which causes him to become stuck in this pattern based off of previous successes, to the point where he can no longer even see the benefit of any other way but his own if he is victorious by his own methods.

But eventually he's going to meet the more well-rounded fighter who knows how to avoid his haymakers and spends the first 8 rounds of the fight picking apart his opposition with body shots to slow him down. The slugger feels unphased by each individual shot and laughs at the attempts. But eventually the shots add up, and before he knows it, the slugger is so winded he can barely stand, much less throw a punch.

As he falls to the hard, sweaty canvas in demoralizing defeat, you fall to the cold, unforgiving cement on the road of life that requires your complete focus and dedication of it's intricacies to maintain a successful course.

Don't underestimate the power of freeing your mind. Get the little things out of the way and leave your mental capacities open for more difficult tasks that will require your full attention.

Strive to be the technical fighter over the slugger. But either way, don't be the punching bag.

Filed Under PERSONAL GROWTH/DEVELOPMENT

Find Your niche

2009-11-15T08:10:00.000-08:00

The toddler sits, trying to force the square piece into the puzzle. At first the anticipation keeps it's attention as it uses the little strength it's developed to force the piece through, but at some point the realization sets in that no matter how hard he tries, the wooden square is not going to fit into the circle hole. Frustrated and defeated, he tosses the piece aside and picks up the triangle, hoping for better results.

In a world of a toddler playing a game, this is quite alright. However in many cases we are the square, and the game of life plays the toddler, forcing us into impossible situations that we have no chance of success at because they do not match our make up. And like the toddler, when we can't fit certain expectations, we are tossed to the side as life tries the triangle.

The simple fact is, this world is not set up for everyone to be a success. As tragic as it is, it's a necessary evil. Nobody is going to work for Wendy's serving you fries if everybody's a doctor or lawyer. Societies need worker bees to run.

How to know you're a worker bee: If you had to think about it, you are.

Not every child's best interest is a full 12 years of standard schooling. Knowing about obtuse triangles or advanced calculus is of little benefit to the future hairdresser or car mechanic. Of course the basic foundation needs to be set in the grade school & middle years, but these types of students would be much better suited for a vocational school focusing on the field they're passionate about. Not only for the simple fact of simply not wasting years, but also because they're far less likely to do bad, drop out, etc. when placed in a program that suits their interest as opposed to one they dread going to. There's a big difference waking up in the morning to something you hate as opposed to something you love. You realize this with your jobs as adults, so realize this with your children as well. You were their age once, too.

I was one of those students that hated going to school. With a passion. I hated structure. Not so much the structure itself, but the structure that was forcing me down a path of little benefit to myself. I have a very creative mind. I want to be making, inventing & molding, not learning what year in 1442 something happened. It didn't matter to me. And 8 years after graduation, it still doesn't matter.

The problem with the ordinarily-structured school system is it primarily takes one only type of intelligence into consideration: The ability to memorize and repeat learned knowledge. If you can do this you are one of the "smart kids", if not, you are stupid or troubled.

There are many types of intelligence opposed to this kind that never get the chance to shine in this environment. Save for a few classes such as art, the creative mind, such as those with linguistic or musical intelligence (2 scientifically recognized types of intelligence) is of little value to this environment. Or the child with another recognized type, interpersonal intelligencee, is extremely adept at communicating and understanding others and tends to have many strengths in fields related to leadership. He may also be much better suited for something other than your standard high school.

So, to the parents, try to set your children off on the right track. If you are grown, listen up.

Maybe you are not meant to be a salesman. You're shy at everything else you do and try to mold yourself into someone you're not at work for the paycheck but you are constantly being outsold by the others with more creative methods of selling. Maybe you are the type that has more organizational skills and would be better as a secretary or personal assistant.

I am not a desk person. I hate being stuck to a desk for 8 hours a day, knowing the world is passing me by outside. The key is for me to find my niche, learn how to make a living off of it, and run with it. You can get by forcing yourself into situations, but you'll rarely thrive.

Find your passion and learn how to make it lucrative. And if you've never had any of these doubts in your head, then you're already halfway there.

Filed under PERSONAL GROWTH/DEVELOPMENT

Gastric Bypass Surgery: A nation's shame

2009-11-13T20:25:00.000-08:00

I get it.

I completely understand the frustration of knowing absolutely everything you need to do to accomplish a goal, but being unable to because of inability to maintain willpower. I've struggled with weight issues numerous times throughout the years, never for lack of knowledge of what I needed to do to get it shape. It was simply inability to control my urges.

There are numerous studies on why we get cravings and urges to over indulge. Many aspects stem from mental inadeqacies and self-esteem issues which result in us using food as comfort, which in fact only adds to the negative cycle overeating imposes upon our bodies.

I'm 6'4, so I get a lot of leeway when it comes to gaining weight. It takes a considerable amount of gain for anyone to really notice that I've tipped the scale in the least desirable of ways. I just kind of get "worse looking" as I like to put it, as opposed to "looking fat".

At the same time, I've had stretches of months where I lost complete control and became completely ashamed at my physical appearance.

At 17, I was 265lbs with barely any muscle mass. I worked out for a year consistently and trimmed down to 250lbs with a substansial amount of muscle. Although I only lost 15lbs, it looked like a lot more because I completely transformed my body with the muscle gain. By 20, I had stopped working out and gained more weight, ballooning back up to 270.

Eventually, I had enough and went back to boxing, where I trimmed down to 222, with barely any fat on me. I personally think I looked better at 250 with the muscle than super skinny, but at 222, I was in the best shape of my life. I was a machine in the gym and with my road work (jogging).

After I stopped working out, I went all the way up to 292 and stayed there for a few years. At a sedentary job, the motivation just wasn't there to work out until I finally got the kick in the behind I needed to get back in shape when I moved across the country in May of this year. Since then, I have lost 40lbs and am currently at 252, edging closer towards my goal weight of 235.

The point I'm trying to make is that I understand weight issues from all angles. I've been chubby, I've been skinny, and I've been muscular. I've hit peaks and valleys in my own personal struggle with not only weight, but overall fitness.

It is this range of experiences that causes me to have a serious distaste for the increasingly popular weight loss surgeries. While there are quite a few available today, I would like to focus on one of the more popular options: Gastric Bypass Surgery.

What it is

Gastric Bypass surgery shrinks the stomach and allows food to bypass part of the small intestine, which results in the intestine absorbing fewer calories and causing you to get fuller quicker.

And while the simple thought of having someone do something to your body that "automatically" makes you lose weight can be tempting, I want you to really break this surgery down to the very basics of what it's doing...

Forcing you to eat less. That's right. Patients lay on a cold slab and have a doctor slice, slash and cut them inside out so that they do not have to consciously control their own eating habits. It forces them to eat less. And by "forces", yes, I mean you can actually die post-surgery from overeating as you can rip the shrunken stomach lining.

I'm sorry to offend anyone who has had the surgery or is close to someone who has, but this single handedly puts the decline of not only this country's health, but mindset, in pespective.

We've become so unable to control ourselves, that we deem it an easier option to lay ourselves on a table and risk our lives, thus FORCING ourselves to have willpower.

There is nothing... I repeat, NOTHING, this surgery can do for you that good old fashioned saying "NO" to a piece of cake cannot. You're forcing something on yourself that you can accomplish on your own. Not only that, but you're risking your life to do it.

In all my struggles with weight, I never even considered such an option. Granted, previous success with fitness gave me an advantage over those that are brainwashed into believing surgery is the only way, but we need to wake up as a society.

It's not necessary to cut ourselves open like animals and re-arrange our insides to get a better body. On top of leaving scars and harming your body in ways even food can't, it's just not natural. Learn the healthy, natural way to obtain your goals.

Eat right, exercise, and say "NO!" when it's neccesary!

There are 2 things you can put inside yourself to lose the weight: An apple or a knife. Which do you choose?

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Selling Yourself: Life is a Sale

2009-11-12T10:59:00.000-08:00

We've all seen it before: The guy walking through the mall with the incredibly hot girl on his arm that's way out of his league. Every head turns not only to look at her but to analyze who she's with to try to understand what exactly he could've possible done to obtain her. The first thing that comes to mind is he must be loaded, but surely every attractive female can't be a money hungry gold-digger, right?

Fortunately, that is right.

That is just one example out of many. What about the guy at your job that gets the promotion over you that you were just sure you had locked up, or the guy that is the life of the party when you can't get someone to even notice (or care) that you're there?

Desite their targets and goals being different, there is one common factor that ties together all of the aforementioned: They sold themselves well enough to the approriate party to get what they desired.

We are a society of constant analyzation and scrutiny. And those that say they don't do it are usually the guiltiest parties. It's human nature. While some certainly do it much more than others, it can't be avoided completely. Men tend compare their possessions and accomplishments, while women constantly analyze and scrutinize each other's looks, make-up, bodies, and clothing.

You are constantly selling yourself to everyone you meet, and if you don't realize it, then you are probably doing a bad job at it. People tend to want to be around other people who are succesful, intelligent, good at making money, or can provide them something they need. Nobody wants to hang out with the broke guy living at home with no aspirations, talents or ambitions.

As sad as it may be, it's true that the better off you are doing, the more you will be liked. It's human nature to admire those that succeed. So, the question is: How can you sell yourself?

A trillion books, articles and self-help manuals have been written on the subject of sales. While some require you to follow strict formulas and guidelines, others offer general helpful tips. As someone who has made a living (and a pretty decent one) off of the art of selling for the past 8 years, I am going to use this article to break the art of sales down into 2 very broad and basic categories, consisting of useful information I've acquired over the past near-decade. These can be applied to almost any situation, be it getting a job or a romantic interest: Fact Finding & Presentation.

Fact Finding

This stage is crucial. Ignorance is deadly. If an army ever charged into battle without knowing anything about it's opposition, it would be completely decimated. As a matter of fact, there were plenty of armies that did this throughout history. Do you know what there names were? I don't either, because they're all dead. And only the winners live on to tell the story (Sometimes with a little slight altercation for self-interest benefit!)

So, you want to get the girl. And you absolutely love astronomy. In an ideal world, every single female you are attracted to would also love astronomy. But this is not an ideal world. If it is, then why are you reading this self help article?

So you fact find. You analyze what she is saying to get an idea of her interests. The more you do this, the better you will get. If your conversation goes like this:

You: Hey, do you know Bobby?
Her: Oh, you mean the guy with the huge chain?
You: Yeah, him. He hangs out with Steve.
Her: Oh, I know Steve. He thinks he's so cool with his Armani clothes and Mercedes with 20-inch rims.

Then, it's pretty safe to assume you are talking to a person that values material objects. If you start out a conversation with Einstein's theory of relativity, you just lost the sale. Once you know her interests and mindset, you need to rework your angles to suit her interests. If your conversation doesn't make sense to her, then you don't make sense to her. And if you don't make sense to her, then she doesn't need you around. By talking about what she is interested in, you are selling yourself as worth her time. (Author's sarcastic recommendation: Don't get this kind pregnant)

By the same token, if you walk into a job that requires knowledge of computer products, and you spend 15 minutes talking about how knowledgeful you are in scuba diving equipment and lawnmower repair, expect to be wearing your favorite job interview suit again very soon.

Be prepared. You cannot devise your plan if you don't know what to base it off of. Listen and learn. Fact find. Knowledge is power, and power is never a bad thing.

Presentation

Now you have the knowledge. But having it doesn't do you any good if your target doesn't know you have it. You need put what you know to good use in order to move forward. If you live in your head, your gains will stay in your head.

But on top of just showing you have the knowledge, you need to know how people who have this knowledge would effectively present it. Presentation includes effective speech, proper use of language and inclusion/avoidance of specific key phrases, and matching energy levels.

People tend to be primarily logic- or emotion-based. (Studies have shown men to be more logic-based, while women more emotion-based.) So if your target is a high-strung, emotion-based adrenaline junkie and you present what you have to say in a Ben Stein, monotone pattern of speech, the message is not going to get across. What you're saying and how you're saying it need to match. They need to make sense. Certain things just don't go together in our minds. And an extremely exciting person talking very low and boring just doesn't compute. By the same token, the 6-figure making business-minded executive interviewing you doesn't want to see how fun and exciting you are. He wants you to be a bland, business-minded employee that can effectively accomplish the needs of the position.

Learn to match what you are saying with how you are saying it. And make sure it is an effective combination to convince your target.

It's all a sale, so don't short change yourself.

Saving: Pay yourself first

2009-11-10T20:27:00.000-08:00

Whether you realize it or not, you have a list.

Inside every one of us is a list of individual wants, needs and desires, subconsciously sectioned off and attributed a value in a ranking system based off of individual importance. Our #1 and primary goal would be the first thing we ask for if a genie appeared before us and granted us 3 wishes tommorow. #2, of course, would be second, and so forth.

We naturally put our most important goal first and make it our primary focus. You'd be hard pressed to find a list ranked as follows:

1) Find a new pair of pants
2) Grab a bite to eat
3) Get rid of my cancer

Right? Why would you ever put your most important goal as anything but #1? You wouldn't. But, we do it constantly with our finances.

Money problems wreak havoc in the lives of anyone that has them. And unfortunately, most of us suffer from them atleast somewhat. There is absolutely no other problem we face as human beings on a large scale more common than those associated with finances. Ask any couple what their biggest issue is in their relationship, and 9 out of 10 will tell you money. It ruins relationships, keeps you at jobs you despise & prevents you from going out and finding true happiness and meaning in this world. Who has time for happiness when the gas bill is due? What good is finding your true meaning if it's going to lead to a "Foreclosure" sign on your front yard?

You can't escape it. And when you encounter something you cannot escape in this world, the best alternative is to learn to control it. You have 2 options to defeat the school yard bully: Hide from him until the bell rings every morning or crack him right in the nose and let him see first hand the downsides of picking on you.

As organized as we are in the rest of our lives, we have a completely backwards view of saving. Saving is the key to financial freedom, yet we base the amount we can save off of the leftovers of our lifestyle. We are going to do this, this & that and hope that some of the check is left over to throw in the bank in case the furnace goes next winter.

Why in the world would you put the most important aspect last on the list? Because we get greedy or accustomed to a lifestyle that we don't really require. We get used to having luxuries that are of no benefit besides mental satisfaction of their possession. This is social conditioning at it's finest, and if you want to rise above those who struggle financially, you need to rise above their methods and habits that bring them to that dilemma in the first place.

You have mortgage payments, car payments, gas bills, electic bills, heating bills, cell phone bills, cable bills. The list is near endless. And you put yourself at the very end of it. You make yourself the dog at the end of the table begging for scraps when the foundation of his very world depends on his being fed.

YOU are a bill. And just like the cable company is going to shut you off for not paying that bill, you need to give yourself consequences for not paying yourself. Get yourself in the habit of putting yourself first. If you have to give up something else, then so be it. Learn to give it up. Just like you would give up the cable bill if it came between that and the water bill. You would decide which is the most important for your essential needs and survival and cut off the rest. This is what you should be doing with your financial savings, but you're not because you're not viewing paying yourself as necessary as paying a bill of luxury because the consequences aren't as immediate. The cable company takes a week past due to turn you off. Sometimes you can hide and mask your troubles for years before having to actually deal with them.

And if you are not good with having cash in your hands, there are multiple ways nowadays of never even seeing the money. Direct deposit your savings into a seperate, untouchable account each week before you ever even see it. Or, start a 401k plan which doesn't tax you on your earnings.

Life is a game you are forced to play. And, like every other game, you need to learn the rules to be succesful. And if you struggle paycheck to paycheck, never paying yourself, always putting your luxuries before your neccesities, you are going to find yourself the Detroit Lions of the game of Life (Sorry Detroit fans, but you know it's true.) Give yourself a chance to gain a little ground and get a couple first downs with a solid financial plan. Pick up the ball and start running!

Pay yourself now or you'll be paying for it later. Literally.

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Stop taking yourself so seriously

2009-11-09T21:28:00.000-08:00

I want you to spend atleast 2 minutes staring at the picture above. But I don't want you to just look at it. I want you to imagine it. Recreate every event going on in this scene over a 2 minute period in your mind. The cars driving, the street traffic going on about it's business, busses taking turns, pedestrians waving cabs down, married couples fighting in their apartments, homeless people in the alleyways, shop owners watching teenagers for theft, people crying, people laughing, people walking dogs, businessmen making multi-million dollar deals in a cafe... Think of absolutely every single event you can in the picture for a full 2 minutes. Let your mind travel the streets and imagine.

Are you overwhelmed? You should be. There are thousands upon thousands of events happening in this one scene over 2 minutes. 2 seconds, for that matter.

Now imagine yourself walking down one of those streets. Do you see how small an event this is when compared with the full city scene? Now if we consider that this image is .00000000000001 percent of our world, we really begin to see just how miniscule our own personal world is in comparison.

We take ourselves way too seriously. We feel like every decision we make, every chance we turn down or opportunity we miss out on is armaggedon as we know it. We get familiar with a pattern of people and places and that becomes our world. We become absorbed within it and lose the ability to see the vastness of everything that is around us. If we say or do something, we feel like everyone's going to laugh at us. Everyone will be talking about how we failed, how pathetic it was that we even tried. And you know what? Maybe everyone in your world will. But there's another world waiting for you right down the street.

Take a minute each day to just look up at the sky and calm every single thought in your mind. It's an incredibly relaxing experience. Absorb your surroundings. As humans we're incredibly lazy by nature. We don't want to keep looking, searching & exploring. If we haven't found what we're looking for by now, we feel it must not exist. But the world is huge, and your tiny little version of it is nearly meaningless in the overall scheme of things.

If you hold and restrict yourself due to fears of consequences in your world, you are a fool. You are missing out on the overall picture and beauty of what life has to offer. It isn't about your job, or what people think about you. You life won't be destroyed if you don't succeed in everything you do. Take chances, take risks, and if you fail, learn lessons from it. If you succeed, you're given an opportunity to expand your reality.

The simple fact is, you need life more than it needs you. Being spiteful isn't going to hurt anyone but yourself. You're not going to ruin anyone else's time by not participating. Nobody else is going to miss out on an experience because you decide not to try it. The world is going to go on without you. Not only are you in complete control of yourself, but that is the ONLY thing you are in control of.

Realize the unlimited opportunities available to you and find a way to stumble upon them. If not, then hey, just sit silent in your own little world. Nobody is going to miss you anyways.

Why We Create

2009-11-08T20:32:00.000-08:00

I am a collector of useful quotes. To me, there is nothing like seeing something in writing that takes your random thoughts, feelings & emotions and streamlines them into a clever line of text for you to reference when difficult situations rear their ugly head.

A few of my favorites, for my own personal reasons, include:

"Never make someone a priority who is only making you an option."

"If you stay in one place long enough, you become that place."

and

"For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction."

And while each of these is useful in their own way, and can be beneficial given the right location and setting, the 3rd applies to nearly everything we do, because everything we're doing is, in a sense, an action.

What I think many of us don't realize, however, is that an action does not neccesarily need to be a physical event. A thought can be an action. Study the effects of the subconscious mind on the body and you will see this very quote in action time and time again.

Our bodily actions are in fact not actions at all. They are reactions to signals sent by our brain. If you're hungry, then you eat. If you're thirsty, then you drink. If you're angry... Well, that depends on who you are. Just bring adequate bail money.

So with that being said, I ask you: Why do we create?

While not everyone is of the creative mindset, of course, there is an overwhelming amount of people who draw, jot down poems, write, sing, etc. All different avenues, but all creative endeavours.

And while I'm sure there are artists of every genre that pick up a pen, microphone or camera for every reason imaginable, I think the primary reason is releasal. One look at Hollywood exposes the dark underbelly behind the beauty of creation. Drug addictions, mental breakdowns & suicides seem to run rampant among the realities of those that attempt to create their own.

We all have our wants, wishes & desires, but there is only so much we can accomplish in the real world. The creative type seems to be the person that wants to create a reality not viable for them otherwise. And by this I don't mean it has to be a world of dragons and castles and magic. It could simply be that an abused female wants to create a world where she is in control, or a shy member of the drama club wants to be the popular quarterback. We might not title the characters as ourselves, but they are truly a reflection of us. How else would we know what to write? We cannot write about something we haven't experienced, or else it will not be accurate.

Creative types seem to often be much more unstable in this world than in their created ones. And it is usually because they have chosen to put the majority of their attention and focus into that which they've created for themselves. This is the world that matters to them.

Or... Should I say us. As I stated above, we cannot write about something we haven't experienced. I leave it up to common sense and reasoning that you can draw the connection between myself and this article.

We write to alter our reality, fix what cannnot be fixed, and right our wrongs. To some it may seem laughable. To us, it's essential.

I gave up long ago on caring about how people react to it. It's the ultimate form of "putting yourself out there", and it takes courage to do in the first place. Those who mock only wish they had what it took.

I don't have to prove to you the value of what I'm doing. We can argue back and forth about it and it isn't going to matter anyways...

Because I'm just going to go write about it later.

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Does MMA tarnish the legend of Bruce Lee?

2009-11-07T10:32:00.000-08:00

It was the 1970's, and America was captivated by 6'+ heavyweight giants in boxing gloves pounding away at each other. The old adage says "The bigger they are, the harder they fall". And for the boxing promoters, the harder they fell, the more money they earned. It was the time of Mohammed Ali, Joe Frazier, Sonny Liston & George Foreman. America couldn't get enough of the spectacle of oversized African Americans trading punches for paychecks.

And as the fighting world's promoters employed techniques behind the scenes that would eventually rot the sport at it's very core, Hollywood executives were taking notice of a 5'7 chinese martial arts instructor gaining a reputation for being unbeatable. Numerous run-ins with the law in China forced his parents to send him back to San Fransisco's Chinatown, his birth place, to set him along a better path. He would travel the West Coast, from Seattle to Oakland, going to college and teaching interested students in his style of fighting.

20 something years later, I opened my eyes to Bruce Lee's "Enter the Dragon" poster. It took me a few seconds to realize where I was. It was my first ever sleepover, at a kid from the neighborhood named Victor's house who would end up becoming one of my best friends and brother, and I layed silent in the room for close to 20 minutes studying the poster hanging on the wall before me. Unlike the greats fighting inside the ring, the man on the poster looked like somebody I could beat up myself, even at about 8 or 9 years old.

Bruce Lee's "Enter the Dragon" & "Fists of Fury" (along with several Jean Claude Van Damme movies such as "Bloodsport" and "Kickboxer", which we're a little more reluctant to admit) would serve as catalysts for about 1,000 fights/wrestling matches over the years, as everytime the last scene faded to black and the credits rolled, our adolescant adrenaline would be clicking on all cylinders and ready to prove to each other who was more on pace to be the next Bruce (or, ugh.. Jean Claude.. hey, we were young).

The thing that made Bruce Lee so captivating was that he was not chosen by nature to be as great a fighter as he was, like some of the boxing greats. His tiny frame wasn't built with the intention of surviving damage, much less inflicting it. But he studied every ancient form of fighting he could, and combined it with current, more mainstream fighting styles to create a unique point of attack.

While America was used to people dancing around and punching each other, Bruce was kicking, jumping, flipping & twisting his way into the world of fighting's spotlight. Nothing had ever been seen quite like it. It was so different, so unique... And our inability to understand it actually added to it's aura. Who really knew what this guy was capable of? For all we knew, he could tap us on our right nipple and explode our chest using some ancient Chinese nerve-busting finger technique. There was no way of seeing it's limitations. Until...

Enter Mixed Martial Arts

With the heart-breaking realization every young child has when he learns proffesional wrestling is all just a show, I can still remember the conversations about the discovery of the first VHS UFC tapes at the Malden Blockbuster.

"No dude, it's real. There's no rules or anything. These guys just beat the hell out of each other. Even when they fall on the ground, they jump on each other and pound each other's faces in. It's so cool!!"

I'm not quite sure which one of us found it first, but somehow we got our hands on UFC 1, and our world was about to change. As the infrastructure of boxing crumbled due to greedy executives and promoters more worried about a quick buck than the future and sanctity of the sport, UFC started cranking out video after video of unknown, yet extremely intriguing, fights with nameless guys seemingly "risking their lives" to fight for respect over money as it payed much, much less than boxing at the time.

While the UFC spent years toiling in obscurity in the mainstream for views of it being "overly violent", it built a steady and loyal underground fanbase of people who could see the potential in a fighting style that allowed it's fighters to study any form of combat they chose and take it into the ring with them for use against an unsuspecting opponent. The fans saw what it could become, but it needed people running the show seeing it too before it could really take off.

Dana White did.

Dana White and the Fertitta brothers purchased the UFC in 2001 and transformed it's marketing strategy from the heavily-criticized "Human Cockfighting" to a legitmate sport with incredible athletes. The sport world would be flipped upside down as it grew in popularity with it's new marketing strategy alongside it's reality show "The Ultimate Fighter", focusing on wannabe UFC fighters vying for a contract.

Over the next few years, Mixed Martial Arts would become mainstream, and as it evolved, so did our knowledge of fighting. The mysterious techniques and obscure fighting styles of Bruce Lee (or atleast similar styles, as his was unique unto him) were brought into the limelight, and we began to see the ends of their reach.

Part of Bruce Lee's legend was that his true capabilities were somewhat shrouded in mystery. But has MMA brought them out of the shadows and onto a public stage? We've watched athletes develop to the very best of their abilities in their respective categories for years now. Can Bruce Lee really have been so ahead of his time that he had figured things out that modern day fighters cannot?

If we placed Bruce Lee in the cage with the likes of the Anderson Silva's, Fedor Emelienko's and Georges St. Pierre's, would he really have such an advantage over them because of his home-grown style that he could decimate them in the fashion his legend suggests? Or has fighting evolved too drastically even beyond his abilities?

I think it's the latter. Wanna fight about it?

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Worrying VS Being Prepared

2009-11-07T00:00:00.000-08:00

They say too much of anything can be a bad thing. And while a couple of things come to mind that I can't imagine having enough of, the saying does hold a lot of weight.

Take water for example. Water is the foundation of life. The human body itself is over 80% water, yet we can literally drown ourselves from the inside out by drinking too much of it.

With that being said, it's pretty safe to assume we need to learn to find the proper balance not only within ourselves, but our surroundings, to reach our ultimate potential. This includes keeping our emotions in check. We are not emotional creatures by accident. Over thousands of years of existence, our bodies have had plenty of time to develop triggers to influence us into making certain decisions to ensure our survival as a species.

Fear, doubt, nervousness... Even positive emotions like love and trust, are all essential to our survival. If we didn't experience fear, we'd walk right into potentially deadly events because nothing inside of us would warn us of the consequences. And without love and trust, we might never get close enough to each other to procreate and produce future generations.

Similar to fear is the emotion of "Worry". And in my pesonal experiences, it sits at the top of the list of emotions we tend to let run rampant in our lives. Worry, like fear, is a valuable tool in feeling out the worthiness of partaking in or avoiding certain situations.

The downside with worry is that if it is allowed to have free reign, coursing through our veins unchecked, it tends to cloud our thought process and forces us to make less than optimal decisions. It is very important that we be prepared for what life throws at us, and over-worrying makes this extremely difficult.

As I've mentioned on this site before, I have an unbelievable relationship with my mother. She's been there for me my entire life in every way a parent possibly could be. On top of that, we tend to have a natural, unspoken agreement to meet in the middle on subjects we aren't in total agreement on to keep things as smooth as possible. The only times we do argue, however, seems to stem from one major difference in our personalities:

I'm laid back & she's a worrier.

Don't let me confuse you. The title of this post is "Worrying VS Being Prepared", but in no way am I callilng myself the "prepared one" against my mother's worrying. And let me be very clear that I'm clearly stating a difference in personalities, not calling myself right and her wrong. Things aren't always as black and white as "right and wrong".

Our minds just tend to react to situations very differently. She sees worrying as keeping on top of things, I see it as unneccesary distraction to the real task at hand.

And while I'm sure her worrying is due in large part to a maternal instinct that nature forbids me to fully understand, I still find myself hard pressed to agree with it as the best possible solution.

You see, in every situation there are the "what if's". And it's usually in your best interest to understand & appreciate them. Being prepared involves realizing those risks, neutralizing the possibility of them, and looking for the best way to avoid them. Over-Worrying focuses on the what if's, taking control of your thought process and in some cases enhancing their likeliness. You cannot find the solution if you're completely focused on the problem.

Forming a habit of worrying not only creates problems with your current situation but encourages subconscious triggers of self doubt and inability when situations of similar or greater difficulty arise.

So, ma, and you, reader.. NEVER go against your natural instincts. Just make sure they're not going against you.

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Are all life lessons universal?

2009-11-05T22:07:00.000-08:00

The quote was something along the lines of:

"I learned that you can't just stab people when you get mad."

My friend and I huddled around the computer in amazement as a 30 year old man was carried off in handcuffs to serve the remainder of his life in prison, his last words dangerously close to humorous, all things considered.

The humor didn't come from his prison sentence, of course. And it goes without saying that it wasn't a result of his actions. It was that a grown man was "learning" something that any kindergartener this side of a "My mom is the best, because..." finger painting probably already has a firm grasp of.

After humor, however, came a bit of relief. Because as obvious as that "lesson" seemed to be to me, I had to feel grateful that I have the type of life that I don't need to learn lessons like that. Maybe if I had lived my entire life in that man's shoes, I would've turned out just like him. But, much to my advantage, our realities are completely different.

Then I began to think of the lessons I've taken a firm grasp of and stored in my mental rolodex for later use over the years. Most of them financial, some relationship-oriented. Better savings plans, reductions in wasteful spending, more effective ways of communication, etc.

Are the lessons I've learned viewed by others the same way I viewed the convict's? Is Paris Hilton sitting somewhere laughing at people like me who are forced to learn the benefit of appreciation of what you have? Does someone like her even need to learn the upside of appreciation when she's in no danger of experiencing the downside?

Surely, there are acceptable behaviors and common courtesy guidelines that we all have to play fair by. But in the game of life, are we all on a level playing field?

You could argue that elevating your mind and bettering yourself is beneficial to everyone despite social status, but benefit isn't the issue here. The question is if it's essential.

Does Paris really need to learn the street-smart lessons of the man who lost his entire life to a bad decision? And in turn, will the convict really benefit from the information she'd have to offer when he has zero chance of ever experiencing it?

Perhaps there are others firmly positioned in life's inside track, marvelling at my ignorance of the world how they see it.

Maybe one day my eyes will be opened to the realities of those with unlimited possibilities, and maybe they won't.

And if not... Then I guess it reall doesn't matter now, does it?

Goal Setting: Viewing your long-term goals as a staircase

2009-11-04T07:43:00.000-08:00

"You never finish anything!", she would say.

The words still echo in my head until this day, an unforgiving reminder of all my mistakes and missteps along a path to success that's been anything but a straight and narrow road. Twisting and turning, dipping and diving, it sometimes looks like an endless maze, complete with cracks, potholes & the traffic-causing construction crews that never seem to fail to schedule road repairs at the times you're in a rush to get where you're going.

And, in a way, that is my biggest problem: I'm always in a rush. My mother's words, as frustrating as they may have been at the time, were right- I wasn't finishing what I started. Partly due to impatience, and partly because I have quite possibly the worst case of Attention Deficit Disorder I've ever come across. My mind knows it's going to lose interest soon so it looks for the quickest path to success and if it doesn't find it, chalks it up as another dead-end street on the mental road map that is my mind.

And while rushing nor ADD may be your problem, I find we all share a common one: Our path.

It's not that the goals we create for ourselves are unrealistic. It's that the path to them is. We set goals as a one step, go from "here" to "there" plan of action, and start off with all engines revving. We're working hard, moving towards what we want & things are going great. And then we make a mistake.

Unfortunately we're human, and mistakes will happen. Suddenly we're like a guy sitting alone on a raft in the middle of the ocean, no land in sight for miles around us in every direction. How far did we come? How far do we have to go?

How do we even know?

It's easy. We apply the staircase technique and learn to use micro and mini goals to accomplish our long term ones.

Picture your goal as a staircase. When you look at a staircase, your brain automatically knows it has to individually climb up each of those steps. You wouldn't try to jump up every stair in one leap, would you?

Some goals may require 5 steps, whereas some may require 50. Becoming a famous actor is probably going to require more steps than losing 30 pounds (unless, of course, your last name is Spielberg). But hardly any goals are going to require just ONE step, or else they probably aren't even worth recognizing as worthwhile ones in the first place.

When you plan to get in shape, don't set your goal as: "I want to get in shape". It's too broad and undefined a goal, and will lead you 10 different ways to your result before you end upgiving up in frustration at the fact that you really don't know what you're doing. Instead, envision it (or even draw it out) as a staircase, and write out the mini-goal of each step. It may look something like this:

Step 1: Clean up eating habits.
Step 2: Join gym.
Step 3: 15 minutes of cardio a day for a week.
Step 4: 30 minutes of cardio next week.
Step 5: Include light weight-lifting routine before cardio.
Step 6: Increase weight-lifting, 60 minutes of cardio a day.

The staircase visualization is good for 2 reasons: Not only does it give you realistic mini-steps towards your long term goals, but when you make a mistake, or lose motivation, you can look back at what step you're on and see the progress you've made thus far. This is majorly important to keep motivation high. If your goal requires lots of hard work over a long period of time, you're going to lose motivation at some point. It's only natural. Life happens. You're going to have a bad day, or your mind is going to be distracted by other things going on in your life, etc. You need this gauge of how far you've come, how far you have to go, and how far back you will fall if you give up now.

Think of something you want to accomplish. Now draw out a 5-step staircase of steps you can take to get closer to it. Now see if you can divide those 5 mini goals into 10 micro goals. I honestly feel the smaller the steps, the better, because the feeling of constant pushing forward will keep your motivation revving at it's highest level.

Always be working towards climbing up that next step. Don't worry about the top. You can't get to the last step if you can't even get to the 3rd.

Stay motivated. Because remember, although you can't jump UP a whole set of stairs in one leap, you certainly can jump DOWN one.

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Fear of growing old: Loss of experiences or lack of accomplishment?

2009-11-03T02:38:00.000-08:00

--Posted By: Jay Abstract

Our parents attempted to drill it into our heads for years, to no avail: Don't be in a rush to grow up!

16 brings a car. 18 brings legality. 21 brings liquor without standing in front of a rundown, back-alley mini mart waiting for the guy that actually risks his livelihood to buy you some- And somewhere after that we begin to realize that nothing worthwhile's going to come along that we can't get in some way, shape or form at an earlier age.

There are plenty of things to look forward to as a teenager. There's always new horizons on the way, new worlds opening up for us to explore. But unless you have a hankering to be the next George Bush or Barrack Obama, 35 doesn't sound so exciting, does it?

It's the quarter-life crisis, and although it's not given half the attention as it's mid-life counterpart, rest assured you're not the only one experiencing it if you're a fellow 20-something. Those high school kids seem to be getting younger and younger, don't they?

The majority of my blogs until this point have been from a primarily educational standpoint. This time, I'm going to present this article in question form. It's a question I've bounced around in my head for many years that you're reading printed for the first time. It's very personalized & therefore answers will vary:

Are you scared of getting old because you will lose the ability to experience new things or are you afraid you've underachieved for your relative age?

I think most would say losing the ability of experience plays a part. No one likes being "too old" to do anything acceptably and enjoyable in public, such as experiencing a nightclub or bar, or pursuing someone with the thought of being denied solely on age. But how much of that fear stems from dissatisfaction of underachievement?

I am not the type of person to stress out over my age. I'm fairly relaxed on the subject, almost to the point that at times I actually prefer aging as I enjoy becoming wiser and learning from life's experiences. Of course, I still have a ways to go before I'm really "up there" but I feel I will always see the advantages that come with growing older.

To me, the only time age woes enter my mind is when things take a turn for the worse and I feel like I've underachieved not only for my age bracket, but my potential as well. And the first reactionary thought is that if I was rich, these wouldn't even be problems. I often think back to an episode on a reality TV show many years ago where 60 year old multi-millionaires were swarmed with 18-21 year old girls on all sides inside a limousine. I highly doubt their age crossed their minds once that night. They might as well have been 20. It was like living a 2nd childhood, I suppose.

So I ask you: Would age bother you as much if you were rich? Let's take a step back and take money out of the equation as well. What about if you were just doing what truly made you happy? Would a number be as important to you then? Age is a countdown. Is it really your place on the countdown you're fretting or the fact that it's providing a slimmer and slimmer window to accomplish what you want to in this life?

They say age is only a number, but then again technically so isn't money. So which number has more value to you?

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Making Money .. Employee VS Boss mindset

2009-11-02T06:40:00.000-08:00

--Posted By: Jay Abstract

At one point or another, we've all been there. The 15 year old kid working a part-time job we could care less about, trying our hardest not to do a shred of work over the absolute minimum requirement. The manager gives you a hard time and you reluctantly work just a little bit harder, until, of course, he leaves again, and then it's right back to the business of minimum business.

And while it was perfectly fine we did this in our youth, the problem arises when we carry this into adulthood. What most of us don't realize is that once responsibility hits us, and we no longer depend on mom and dad for cash, we become our own business. It makes no difference whether you actually OWN a business or work at McDonalds... You are your own business.

What I mean by this is you are responsible for your earnings. Obviously, operating independently gives you more freedom for earnings as you're not restricted to an hourly rate or salary, but you control your income stream in various ways as an employee as well. Promotions, overtime, second jobs, side work- These are all factors you have control over that will contribute to your overall earnings.

An "Employee" mindset only thinks of avoiding things that would be considered "wrong". He doesn't want to create negative attention on himself or even worse, lose his job. To the employee, success comes in the form of not screwing up. A business owner with the "employee" mindset will be satisfied with his business plan if current customers are happy and there doesn't show to be signs of decline.

A "Boss" mindset, however, realizes that the biggest mistake you can make is actually not making a mistake, it is a missed opportunity. He is never satisfied with what he has, because he knows that in this fast-paced, ever-changing world we live in, there has to be additional ways to build off of what he's already done and profit even further from it. There are always new angles you can implement to increase your earnings. If you are an employee, the reasons I listed above such as overtime and 2nd jobs would be examples of those angles. If you operate independently, then it might be a new product or additional forms of advertising to drive more people & attention to your business.

For all my flaws, this is one thing I have always had that I feel has pushed me harder, and in some cases further, than the majority of my friends. I've always had an overwhelming sense that there was something more I could, or was supposed to, be doing. It led me to numerous career paths and hobbies, and in some aspects, if you consider money to be the primary measuring stick for success, I was a failure at many of them. But to me, the experience alone made it worth it to me. I learned things from it, and will continue to. I was never satisfied with working one job, going home & having a few beers. That's fine occasionally, but my mind is always searching for more.

It's led me to numerous career paths, 3 different states, and even a gambling addiction for a while, but for all the mistakes I made, I am better for it. My "boss" mindset has allowed me to experience things my friends with the "employee" mindset will not only never get to experience, but will never even realize the value of. As long as they get enough money to pay bills, eat, and go buy a new shirt at the mall they feel they are doing things the right way, because they're not making visible mistakes.

But sometimes it's what we can't see that's hurting us the most. Be a boss.

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The power of asking "Why?"

2009-11-01T10:59:00.000-08:00

--Posted By: Jay Abstract

It's a question you've no doubt heard every 5 year old ask over and over again:

Clean your room. "Why?" Because I said so. "Why?" Because I'm the parent. "Why?"

And although by now you hopefully know the reasons to the above 3 questions without asking "Why?", it's ironic that something we attribute to young children is a major contributor to why we as adults never really find what we want, or are supposed, to do.

So, I ask you:

Why are you at your current job?

Why are you with the person you're with?

Why are your hobbies what they are, or why don't you have hobbies?

Why are you always busy, or why do you have too much time on your hands?

Write a list of things you are unhappy with in your life and write why you are unhappy with them. Then write a list of the positives and do the same. You can't make the changes you need in your life if you don't know what they are or why you need them.

A few years back I was purchasing a cell phone. As the customer service rep was inserting the SIM card, I made a comment about an advertisement hanging in the store and he gave me a blank stare. When I motioned towards the wall he said "Oh, that's been there for years. I don't even notice it anymore". He had gotten so used to seeing it that his brain had just shut it out. Not noticing a poster is no big deal, but unfortunately we do this on a much larger scale every day.

Too often we stumble head first into things & they become part of our routine for no reason other than familiarity. Sometimes we never should've been doing them in the first place. Other times they were good for a certain time period but are no longer effective with our current lives. Things are always changing, and those who thrive are those who adapt. Those who take a second to analyze themselves, what they need, what they don't, dropping the unnecesary and expanding upon what would be beneficial to them.

I boxed for a few years. Because of my work schedule, I continually had to start and stop my training. I learned how to move my body to throw and defend against different punches. "If your opponent throws a jab, do this. If he throws a hook, do that." No questions asked, I did what they said, and after drilling the same body motions into my head for long enough I'd get better at them. But, life happens, and if I was inactive in the ring for a couple months, I'd come back rusty and have to drill these same exercises until it eventually felt natural again. Then, one day I met a trainer who made it a point to tell me WHY I was moving my body in this exact way, how it was setting me up for further punches, or it was positioning myself to defend better, and it all clicked. I can go into a gym now despite years off and react to most situations in the ring immediately because I'm not just rudimentarily jumping around throwing punches. I know why I am doing exactly what I'm doing.

Now I'm not saying a routine is a bad thing. It can be a very effective way to progress yourself forward and accomplish your goals. The problem with a routine comes not in the structure, but in you becoming stagnant in it and not questioning it's continued effectiveness and relevance to your current situation. We get so wrapped up in what's going on around us that we don't pay attention to ourselves anymore. We begin life doing everything instinctively and naturally, but as we grow pressures around us force us into these patterns because they become easy.  Constant thinking takes work, and let's face it, we're always looking for ways to simplify our lives, not make them more complicated.

Numerous studies have been done on changes in behavior as we grow older. A great example is the way we breathe.

Take as deep a breath as you can. Your chest probably puffs out, your shoulders go back & you can physically hear yourself take in the breath. This is incorrect, and is a direct result of years of stress on your body.  As babies we (correctly) use "diaphragmatic breathing", which is the act of breathing into the bottom portion of our lungs, thus using the entire lung set. This is the correct way, and we do it because as babies we don't even think about. We haven't picked up any bad habits yet. This other, more shallow, way of breathing that most adults (save a few, such as trained singers) do brings less air into the body and is far less effective as only the upper portion of the lungs are utilized.

So how many things in your life are you doing "just because", and how are they affecting it? If someone asks you why you are living like you are, would you be able to deliver a quick, confident & definite response?

I know you are at your job because it makes money, but why not another job?  And if it pays more than you can make at another job then why not go to school to get a better one? If school's too expensive, why not save for it? Why do you want to lose weight? Why do you think people will like you better if you're thinner? Why do you want people to like you?

Take 10 minutes, sit down, and ask yourself why you are doing everything you're doing. Usually the first 4 or 5 responses are defensive and not indicitive of how you really feel. It's amazing where your "Why?"s will lead you once you get to the 6th or 7th one. Keep asking why and you will eventually get to the root of the reasoning for your actions.

Control your own destiny. And if you feel like the way you are living is just fine, then I ask you... Why?

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The human fascination with movies

2009-10-31T10:59:00.000-07:00

--Posted By: Jay Abstract

Storytelling.

Our earliest ancestors painted on walls, ancient Greeks acted it out on stages, and present-day actors and actresses are paid obscene amounts to do it in front of cameras. From as early as we have records, we have people telling tales of myth, legend & adventure. Some true, some completely fabricated & some in between- The fact still remains, we have a need inside of us to hear stories and events of completed trials and tribulations of our fellow people.

It's all about relation, and if a movie has your interest, it's because you relate to it in some way. It may connect with something that happened in your past or something you wish to happen in your future. Maybe it's your biggest fear and you want to see how the person in the story handles it, or maybe it's just something you never even thought of and you're wondering what you would do if you were placed in that situation.

While certain qualities of how well a movie is structured or written can't be denied, whether a movie is "good" or "bad" is an entirely subjective opinion and is based off of how you are relating to it's events in your subconscious. Women tend to like love stories more because female brains are hardwired with an overwhelming desire to be loved, accepted and desired while guys tend to gravitate toward stories that satisfy their primal instinct to conquer, dominate and control. These, of course, are complete opposite ends of a spectrum that most of us are somewhere in between.

Movies are reflections of life, and as you are watching them your mind is constantly figuring out if it relates the order of what's hapening on screen to what it's experienced in the past. How many times have you been watching a movie and suddenly shouted out "That could NEVER happen!"? Your brain has recognized an event that completely goes against what it can relate to.

Life is absolute chaos. It's a mess of successes, disapointments, emotions, confusion and events that bleed together in a seemingly endless and shapeless splatterboard that requires us to organize in our heads, always searching for "true meanings" and "lessons learned", whereas movies organize the chaos for us. They provide a similar verison of what we experience in a neat little package with a beginning, middle and end that we can understand, follow and sort out. In real life, the camera does not stop rolling when the guy finally gets the girl and marries her... He cheats on her 6 years later and leaves her a single parent with 3 children and an overwhelming mortgage payment, fighting for child support in court.

In movies we don't have to deal with this. It's action-reaction-result and then it ends. We can even go back and relive it exactly like it happened as many times as we want. Try doing that with your ex.

This organized chaos also has another advantage over real life (Assuming of course it's a well-made movie): There's not much down time. The important times that progress the story are all we see. We can see every important event in a family over 30 years in 2 hours. We get to see the dork be a dork for the first 30 minutes and then the cool guy with his dream girl for the next 90, and then it's over. We don't have to sit through 4 years of his transformation period to see what results from it.

Movies capture our imagination for different reasons, but we all want to see someone win or lose. And the reasons why are always more personal than we realize. Whether you root for the good guy or the bad guy, you're hoping for an outcome, and it's going to be delivered to you in a neat presentation.

So just sit back and enjoy the story. Or if you're like me, go out and create it.

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Changing your health & well-being starts with changing your mindset

2009-10-30T10:46:00.000-07:00

--Posted By: Jay Abstract

In an attempt to not set any false expectations, I'd like to start this article off with the following statement:

You are NOT about to learn a magic trick to drop 50 pounds in one month, or about a new diet pill that changes your body composition while you sleep. Not only is that not the subject of this blog, but these products do not even exist, no matter how many times the guy on the television informercial at 4am tells you they do.

Which might provoke the question... How could there be a billion dollar industry built around something that doesn't even exist? And why should I believe this random blog over that industry?

To answer the first part of that question brings us into what this blog is really about: The power of the human mind. And to answer the second part, you don't have to. But you'd be much better off.

If you look back throughout history at the most dominant and succesful societies, they all prevailed by out-thinking their opposition. Larger & stronger armies have been decimated by much weaker ones led by a clever general with a better battle strategy. If you're standing on American soil like I am, you are on a land conquered by Europeans who thought of a more effective, longer range weapon: The gun.

Your opposition is not a rival army. It is your body. And you need to use your mind to out-think and conquer it. Our bodies have evolved over millions of years to value one thing: Survival. It wants to survive and reproduce to continue on the human race. That's it. Any other goals or desires beside this are created by your mind. Your body doesn't care if it looks good, and fat is much more valuable to it's survival than muscle.

When you get hungry and your body is not fed, it feeds off the fat that it has stored. And although it is extremely detrimental to your health to do so, this is why you lose weight when you don't eat. For the sake of the length of this blog, I am not going to get into meals plans and the like. I will save that for a later post.

But I want you to realize there is no "instant cure". You first have to prepare your mind for the fact that you are going to be in a life-long battle with your body for improvement. A diet is a temporary fix that rarely helps in the long term. It's a cheap shortcut to a solution that doesn't allow for them. In later posts, I will go into depth about some of the more popular diets, how they work, and reasons in particular to avoid them, but for now set your mind on a lifestyle change, and not a diet.

You are in a war with not only your body, but the marketing companies trying to sell you anything they possibly can for profit. Do not lose. Out think them and be victorious.

Healthy Eating & Exercise = A healthier you.

Mind over matter = Mind over fatter

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The delusion of always wanting more

2009-10-30T00:05:00.000-07:00

--Posted By: Jay Abstract

Programming- The word alone might instantly conjure up images of a scronny guy in glasses and suspenders in a dimly lit computer lab feverishly pounding away at a keyboard. But all you have to do is take a good, long look at the reflective glass hanging above your bathroom sink to see programming at it's finest.

What is the first thing you do when you buy a dog? You train it. Why? Because you want to impress upon your pet the "correct" way of doing things before it knows any better. That way there is nothing for the dog to compare it's decisions to. As far as it knows, there are no other options.

There are always other options. And luckily for pet owners, your dog is not intelligent enough to figure out these options for themselves, and even if they were, "you never bite the hand that feeds you", in this case, literally.

Human beings, on the other hand, are programmed to continuously want more, and to have atleast a slight level of dissatisfaction with what we do have, so that we keep working for more. Who are we programmed by? The people who employ us (because the more we work for them, the more money they make) and the people who want us to buy their products from them. And in some cases these people are one in the same.

To truly grasp the concept of what I am trying to get at here, we first need to look at the basics of human life. What do we really need? For generations, life was about mere survival- Finding enough food for the day and maintaining shelter. If these 2 needs were met, it didn't even cross anyone's mind 500 years ago that there was more. The only way you would even know you were broke when you had 5 dollars is if someone else had 50. When did basic needs in life change? When someone told us it did.

Compare what you have today to your ancestors- Abundances of clothing, lighting, heating & cooling systems in your home- These would have all been considered extreme luxuries just a couple of hundred years ago. You can find any information you could possibly ever need by punching it into a search engine- Something unimaginable not that long ago. Month long journeys by ship have been replaced by a few hours in an air conditioned plane being served beverages while watching your in-flight movie.

Very few people are happy with the amount of money they have. We are always comparing what we have to someone who has more. The idea of being dissatisfied with what you have is a complete delusion that affects society as a whole, and the only reason we aren't consciously aware of how delusional we are is because everyone around us suffers from the same delusion as well.

And it's not an accident. We've been spoon-fed this reality by those in control through media outlets since their inception. They've been programming us since we could walk, talk & hear to always want more, more, more. The constant advertisements to have a bigger house and a better car than your neighbor. The beauty products to make women look better and get an upper hand in obtaining a mate (or atleast a good one). The list goes on and on. We've been programmed to never be happy with what we have.

This programming is not harmless. People lose their entire lives being enslaved to this delusion, always trying to reach a plateau that will offer nothing more than a desire to reach an even higher one. You will never be satisfied, because the problem was never in the plateau you were at to begin with, it was in your mindset.

You have to remove yourself from this mindset or you will be destroyed by it.

Once you realize the reality of your situation and shed the idea that you need more, you will have exactly what you need... Just enough.

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Breaking free from "Being Safe"

2009-10-28T22:23:00.001-07:00

--Posted By: Jay Abstract

One topic you will see me talk about frequently on this blog is the concept of Risk VS Reward. In my numerous failed attempts at the glorious life of a professional gambler, I was constantly told I took too many risks. I'm not stable, I'm too impulsive, I have a serious addiction... I'd heard it all. After hundreds of 2-hour long car rides home from Foxwoods casino back to Boston I finally realized I wasn't going to prove my risks were worth the reward by gambling.

At the same time, I wasn't going to settle into a warm little haven that the majority of my friends had come to accept as the "safest" and most practical way to go about your life. Make just enough money to pay your bills, eat a little food, maybe even have a little fun on a good week. The lucky ones, or the overtime hogs, squirell away 50, maybe 100 dollars a week into their account until their transmission goes and eats up their savings, where they then repeat the cycle.

As crazy as it sounds, I prefered to be the guy that was up and down. Sure, they never hit as low as I did, but they never got to experience the highs I did either. I had weeks where I didn't have a dime. I'd make up excuses and give up opportunities to go out for free solely because I couldn't afford the gas it took to drive to my friend's house. But I also had weeks where I was walking out of the casino with $23,000 in my pocket, feeling on top of the world. They never got to experience anything remotely like that.

They sacrifised the possibility of great things to remain "safe" from failure.

Now, this post isn't recommending you become a gambler by any means. I was lucky enough to be in my early 20's and living at home in this time period. There was plenty of room for mistakes. Not everyone is afforded this luxury, and I understand that.

But let's take this concept of Risk VS Reward and realize it is relatable to almost every aspect of our everyday lives. We are all equipped with automatic sensors in our head that weigh the risk VS the reward of everything we do. Is approaching the pretty girl in the club and getting her phone number worth the thought of being embarrased by her in front of her friends? Is it worth speaking your mind to the guy who just cut you off who looks like he'd be willing to throw a punch over anything? These are all risk VS reward.

And while this instinctive, subconscious survival mechanism of checks & balances is ever-present in our psyche, most shy away from a conscious choice of risk.

This is why most of us remain stagnant in jobs or careers we are miserable in. Honestly, how many people do you know that are happy with their job? And why shouldn't they be? There are 24 hours in a day, and human beings sleep 1/3 of them away, so that leaves 16. And with the average work day being 8 hours, that means we spend half of our waking moments in a place we are unhappy.

This is not how life was meant to be. This is how life was set up by those with more money and power than us to turn us into worker bees to keep the economy running while they soak the profits out of it, but that's a subject for another blog at another time.

The point I'm trying to make is to always push to elevate yourself. Not just at work, but with all aspects of your life. The age of the internet has brought us so many ways to make money that our ancestors plowing fields and milking cows could've only dreamed of.

Don't remain stagnant and miserable in something because it's safe and familiar. Because if you really break it down, it's probably not really that safe at all, and when it changes it'll no longer be familiar.

Always keep your eyes open for new opportunities. Especially additional income streams that don't take up too much of the remaining 1/3 of your day after your sleep time and work day. You're only as safe in your job as long as they still need you, and the job market and economy are always changing.

There are numerous people who thought they were safe only to find out one day they were headed to the unemployment line. And they're called the former employees of Enron.

Just think about it.

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A fair look at Hip Hop: From misunderstood beginnings to becoming the misunderstanding

2009-10-28T12:03:00.000-07:00

--Posted by: Jay Abstract

Much to my father's dismay, I've always been a radio hog. Even since my younger years, barely old enough to see over the snow-covered dashboard, the second that seatbelt clicked in and we pulled out onto icy I-95 for the drive home- I was in control.

It was the 90's- The Golden Era of Rap- And I couldn't have been more hooked. While my father couldn't have been more disgusted.

" 9 to 5 is how you survive, I'm not tryna survive, I'm tryna live it to the limit and love it a lot. "

- Jay Z

Lyrics like that filled my head with dreams of pursuing your passion and succeeding despite all odds, while the center console in the car served as the midpoint of 2 complete opposite ends of a spectrum- My father's thought process and my own- Neither right nor wrong, just stemming from a different base experience of the human existence.

"Do you really like listening to a guy putting down people like me and your mom who work regular jobs to keep food on the table and clothes on your back? This guy's on the radio bragging about how much more he has than you- Do you really find that interesting to listen to?".

I did.

I related to Jay-Z not because I came from the same struggle as him. I was raised a prime example of middle-class: Well fed, well clothed, I had the best childhood anyone could ask for.

But like Jay-Z, I always wanted more. It didn't matter if our starting points were different, because our destination goals were the same. I had a desire to achieve greatness.

Now I have to admit, my hip hop obsession back then was a bit of a blind following of the "In" thing at the moment. I gave every artist in the genre a pass no matter what they were saying, frankly because it sounded too cool to doubt.

However, as I grew and matured, and the music seemed to go in the opposite direction, I began to feel less and less of a connection to it as what had attracted me in the first place seemed to slip away more and more and be less prevalent in songs- Originality.

It is the realization that this music is on it's last leg that forces me to have to explain how it got this way. It is a wounded dog limping between the legs of it's unsure master, shotgun in hand. Current day Hip Hop doesn't stand a chance to the fan who goes into it with an unobjective opinion, giving it the benefit of the doubt to see what it can offer.

Hip Hop has become a portrayal of character archetypes. But it wasn't always this way...

The Beginning

Hip Hop is a culture that sprouts forth from seeds planted in slavery. From a people who have been told since their birth that they are lazy, sick, worthless, inferior & stupid. New words such as the N word have even been created for the sole purpose of defining their inferiority.

Positively outnumbered and unsuccesful in the "No I'm not", "Yes you are" merry go-round, Hip Hop did an interesting thing. Instead of fighting it, it flipped the tables and turned the negatives into positives.

If they were the N word, then that was a positive thing. If they were dumb, then that was as well.

" I was dumb glad, this **** didn't fit in one bag "

-Big L

"Why are they calling each other the N word but they get mad when someone else says it?", my father would ask. And believe me when I tell you, the reasoning goes much deeper than one word ending in 'a' and the other in 'er'.

Artists have been successful at converting their negative experiences into positive ones for decades. Artists such as Talib Kweli, Mos Def, Common & Lupe Fiasco spin musical tales of overcomming the worst of circumstances.

Of course, not all artists in the genre wanted to end it at turning their negative experiences into positive ones. Others wanted to show you exactly what you, as their oppressor, had created. It was a big middle finger to the America that had forced them into such a dismal existance.

Enter Gangster Rap

Artists such as NWA popularized a violent musical culture that would take the world by storm. There is a reason 90% of news stories are about negative events. It attracts attention. And this is exactly what gangster rap did as middle-class Americans all over the country couldn't turn away as a life they had never even dreamed of unfolded in front of their eyes in every form of creation the senses could take in- Audio, Video, Literature, etc.

This would eventually culminate in the assassination of 2 of the gangster rap genre's biggest and most influential stars- Tupac Shakur & Christopher "Notorious BIG" Wallace, 2 former friends caught up in a partly media-influenced East Coast-West Coast rivalry that would eventually claim both their lives in the late 90's.

The music industry, like any other, requires money and financial backing to run, and the front page of the Boston Globe returns a lot more on their investment than an article in the obituary column, and thus began the slow decline of the original, free speech music of Hip Hop. It hadn't been perfect to this point, but it was original.

The Southern Takeover

It wouldn't be long until the "Party Anthem" and "Club Banger" era arrived in the early 2000's, ushered in primarily from artists in the southern regions of the country. It was at this point rap became more and more characterized- Archetypes of the gangster, pimp & loose female.

Characterization makes marketing simpler for the record companies, who now get rich off an image that deteriorates an entire community. There's no more free speech, there's just similar character types of the individuals that once did really speak their mind before labels stepped in and forced them to "dumb it down".

Hip Hop has now become exactly what my father had previously thought it was, and I find myself with less and less ground to stand on as I have to quote time periods now nearly a decade old to prove my points, even losing my own connection to it as time progresses forward.

Will I end up like my own father, constantly quoting the music of my "glory days" while trying to convince my son why my music's better than his generations?

Maybe..

But I can tell you, I will definitely speak freely when I do it...

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2009-10-28T00:18:00.000-07:00

--Posted by: Jay Abstract

I've always been the type to over-analyze everything. I spent years in my own head figuring things out before I ever dared to open my mouth (or in this case, get my fingers going) to speak of the things I began to notice, the connections I began to make between things that no one else seemed to, just the very way I looked at the same situation as everyone but saw different results.

It is these years of being trapped in my own head that provided me with the ability to use patterns in human beings' judgement and decision making to make connections between completely unrelated subjects and use them to analyze our race as a whole.

For years, I had a gambling problem. I was constantly going from broke to having $5,000 the next day or vice versa. Everyone was always against the initial idea of me going to the casino. They'd have their reasons, friends they knew who had a similar problem, comparisons to how my life would be had I not been gambling, the usual drivel anyone who's ever called a Face Card a "Monkey" is used to hearing. And when I lost, "I told you so's" abounded. Some happy I lost, some upset, but all proud they were right.

A funny thing happens when you win, though... It shuts them up. When you take risks in life, you end up in 1 of 2 categories: "Moron" or "Genius". The same exact action can bring on completely different reactions, based on the outcome. Put simply, success validates decisions.

And it is in this concept that I relate to the common gangster.

I remember a night about 5 years ago I was watching TV over a friend's house with his family. Flipping through the channels, we came to The Sopranos, a show I had heard so much about but never got the chance to watch, and we sat for 60 minutes or so as these successful Italian men managed to rise from the gutter to rags and riches through brute force and violence. Gun pressed to his rival's head, my friends mother watched on with glee and excitement, anticipating Tony's next move. When it was over, she sighed, disappointed she'd have to wait until next week to see the outcome.

A little bit later in the evening 'The Wire' came on. In one of the first scenes we watched, 2 hapless gangsters ran up to a parked car and opened fire on the men inside, running off into the night.

"Animals..." she said, disgusted, and walked out of the room.

I couldn't help but wonder why Tony was such a draw to her and the 2 gangsters in the night were "Animals". At first I attributed it to race.. She was Italian, and sure, people do happen to root for and side with those they can relate to most. But I believe it goes deeper than that. Tony's violence is validated because we are taken into his world to see he has built an empire, maintained a family, and been a complete success in his life. The hapless gangsters, as far as we know, are committing violence just for the sake of it.

Historically, gangs have risen out of poor communities, acting as a force of justice that was denied to them by an upper ruling class. Outpowered and outnumbered, their only chance of survival was uniting to form their own alliances for support they were denied by those who had power over them. Alone they were voiceless, but there is always power in numbers. Force was used over finesse, and these groups began to obtain their goals by way of violence and intimidation.

Somewhere along the line things changed, and while the roots of the cause is somewhat noble (Men coming together to overcome their abusers), most now see these groups are nothing more than murderous opportunists.

But then why do we speak so lowly of the Crip & Blood gang on the other side of the city while proudly proclaiming the greatness of Martin Scorcese? Why do we idolize Pacino, Pesci & Deniro for their roles in the true stories of men far worse than those in our own neighborhood?

Because they are succesful.

The End justifies the means when success is involved. Human beings have an intense need to succeed. We all want to succeed in different ways, but success itself in any form is extremely attractive.

We should ask ourselves, is it OK to let success validate such actions? Are the Hank Hills and George Jungs really better human beings than the Jaamal Williams and Leroy Watkins, to the point that one is despised and the other is idolized for the exact same action?

Or are we hypocrites?

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Money doesn't buy happiness.. But it allows it

2009-10-27T21:40:00.000-07:00

--Posted by: Jay Abstract

As much as I hate to admit it, I'm obsessed with the rich and famous.

Be it movie stars, musicians, sports figures... Heck, even glorified gangsters, I doubt I am alone (or even lonely) in my world of envy and curiousity as to what it really is like to live a life where the only reason I can't have something is because I can't remember which assistant is assigned the task of getting it.

I spend countless hours in front of an electronic box wishing I had what they have instead of actually going out and getting it. It's media mind control at it's finest and even with full realization I couldn't be more satisfied because hey, let's face it, it's much more entertaining than the systematic game of pong that is my life. The left pad is work, the right is home, and I am the ball in the center slowly bouncing back and forth between the 2, hoping something happens along the way. But alas, I'm living in 8-bit and Super Nintendo is so far away...

As with anything, my obsession with what I can't have is love/hate. My delicious mental sodium satisfies my every desire while in the act, but never fails to leave me feeling bloated, worthless and guilty once digested as I leave my cocoon of safety and venture back out into the cold, harsh reality that is the real world.

I enter the "If only I could do/have this..." stage, also known as the "hate" end of the previously-mentioned spectrum. It is at this point that anyone with more money than me making an outrageous comment is open to my verbal wrath at their digital projected image 3,000 miles away in a cold, dark cellar in Boston.

Recently I was watching an interview with a very famous celebrity debutante who burst onto the scene a few years ago and became famous for 2 reasons:

1) For being famous (In case you haven't paid your cable bill lately.. Yes, you can actually be famous for being famous now.)
2) Doing what Ma & Pa did best- Good Ol' Butt Naked Wrassling... But with a video camera.

She said something that about had me ready to have to pay the geek squad a repair visit...

"Even if I didn't have all this money, I'd still be just as happy"

Fairly confident my neighbor had already heard my outrageous scream, I quickly decided against smashing my TV as the combination of the 2 would surely end up in a night of "Yes, officer" that hasn't been fun since I learned the official offense that is listed on your record sounds much worse than "Peeing in Pubic".

So I did the logical thing...

I paced my living room back and forth in Hulk-like anger. I cursed my ancestors for not having the foresight to set me up financially. I cursed myself in advance under the assumption I am not going to do any better for my own descendants. I told my neighbor I would join him on the lookout for whoever that woman was that was screaming somewhere in the vicinity of my apartment earlier.

How could someone who has everything possibly think her life would be the same if she had nothing? Do people REALLY believe the "Money doesn't buy you happiness" shtick plastered all over every self-help book and CD? Really?

Having the nagging need to summarize everything I can't understand in life down to one, easy to remember line to fit in my collection of "I'm not sure if these really even help my life but they sound cool and give me something to do" quotes, it occured to me...

It isn't about what you can HAVE. It's about what you can AVOID.

Do you really need a huge house and a maid to be happy?
Do you need a boat to make your dreams come true?
Do you need to be your own boss?

No, no, and no.

But it's sure great to avoid cockroaches and short, overcompensating, angry (and usually hairy) landlords knocking at your door for the rent money you don't have.

"Wanna see my boat?" tends to drastically decrease your chances of getting turned down over "Oh no it's MY house, I'm just letting my mom stay there"

And it wouldn't be so bad sleeping in a little late and not having to worry about losing your job should your alarm clock decide to not go off that day. ( Have you ever done the Boston 5am shuffle? Picture this- 3 feet of snow, 14 degrees outside, you're in a rush and don't have time to preheat your car- GO)

If there's one thing us common people have over the rich (and yes, it's probably just one thing), it's a sense of reality. When you don't have to depend on others, hide from them, fear them, accept them when you don't want to & like what they say when it goes against your beliefs... It's kick-***. If you think it isn't, you need to live the other way for a while.

Hey, I'll trade with you if you don't believe me.

Contact Jay Abstract via E-Mail

2009-10-26T00:00:00.000-07:00

About Jay Abstract

2009-10-25T00:47:00.000-07:00

Hello all & welcome to my Abstract Thoughts.

My name is Jay Abstract and I started this site with the intentions of creating a source of reference material relating to the Arts, Entertainment & Life.

Abstract Thoughts is a chance to see the ordinary through unique perspectives by studying the "why" behind human behavior- The reasons behind our actions, reactions & thought processes.

The site is unique in that it blends various topics together and provides a fresh outlook. The goal is to continue to grow & expand to become of more value to YOU, the reader, by continuing to provide engaging and thought-provoking daily blogs & articles, as well as implementing additional site features to increase the overall sense of community.

I want to earn your return visit by not only providing you with a place you feel comfortable learning and expanding your mind, but also by personalizing your experience by welcoming your comments, questions, feedback & suggestions.

Be it an idea on a blog subject, site design or overall site expansion, I not only welcome but ENCOURAGE your contact.

You have my commitment of 100% dedication to increasing your reading experience. Abstracts Thoughts focuses on "Intelligent Discussion for Intelligent People" & I am absolutely thrilled that you have decided to take part!

- Jay Abstract

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2009-10-24T20:09:00.000-07:00

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2009-10-23T20:45:00.000-07:00

Have something to say?

My mind is constantly moving, thinking, observing, creating... And I appreciate all of your feedback on my articles. But Abstract Thoughts sets out to create a community, and as a member of that community, your opinion matters.

In the coming weeks, I will develop a system where readers can send in topics they'd like to discuss/debate with other readers. We will vote on the most interesting topic and then begin the debate.

For now, this page is a free-for-all of ideas. Post on whatever topic you'd like below and see if others agree! As always, let's be respectful of the other readers.