Abysitter: Tales From the Crib

Fifty!!!

2023-05-21T15:48:00.011-07:00

Boating season is here, yet again!

In 2016, after nine years of living in a community whose daddies had blackballed me from the very beginning - like legit before they'd even met me - I relocated to New York state and bought a boat to spend the summers on.

What a difference that move made...

My first new ABDL friend visited just weeks into my new lifestyle. At first, I was afraid to invite someone to come visit a boat - what kind of weird, f'd up situation is that? But he came, and actually seemed to really enjoy it, and what began a little awkwardly quickly turned into a brainstorming session.

"This berth would make a pretty decent crib," he pointed out. "Throw in a few stuffed animals and you could make someone feel very, very little. And just think of the padded parties you could throw on this thing..."

Thus, the 'Luvs Boat' was launched.

I started off by inviting people to visit for what I called 'boating weekends' in 2017. I took a few weekends off, invited a ton of ABDLs from all across upstate New York, and waited.

The first weekend was a washout. Only me, on the boat, all weekend.

The second weekend, too... nothing but cancellations and flakes.

(If you've ever tried to build a community in a less-populated area, I bet this sounds familiar to you).

The third weekend was just me for most of the weekend. At the very end - we're talking late Sunday evening - two ABDLs from Buffalo, two to three hours away, arrived. They came waddling down the dock bearing bottles of wine, and we sat on the forward deck, drinking and watching the sunset.

"This is magical," one of them said. "Think of the get-togethers you could have..."

(I'd been trying...)

The next 'weekend' was crazy! There were seven of us - we barely had room to sit down. I took a few group photos and posted them on my social media, and suddenly the people I'd invited who had a hard time picturing themselves diapered on a boat could vizualize what a 'padded boat party' might look like.

I had no trouble with invites after that.

Group get-togthers. Weekends with Z, a local college student and my first bona fide 'little'. Finally meeting ABDLs I'd talked to online for years but had never met. Padded movie nights... watching thunderstorms diapered abovedecks when the marina cleared out and it was just us left. It really was magical.

I'd spent years with zero local ABDL friends, so having a dozen in that first summer? I used to say that I'd met more ABDLs in three months than I'd met in nine years where I used to live. It was heaven!

Then we started taking the boat out. Until then, we'd spent our weekends mostly belowdecks, hanging out in the 'cuddle cabin' or taking naps in the 'crib'... sipping mixed drinks or wine in the salon... playing games and watching movies... and, my favorite, having deep, meaningful conversations late into the night.

Motoring out onto the water changed things. With more than 60 square miles of surface area, it was easy to find a secluded spot, strip down to nothing but diapers and onesies, and just... be little. If you're into boating you already know: things are different out on the water. You find a sense of freedom that can be elusive almost anywhere else. Being able to share it with members of our community felt amazing, and the eventual realization that a little bit of a 'community' had formed - I can't tell you how much that meant, especially to those of us experiencing it for the first time.

Then, just as quick as this new life had found me, COVID came, along with an almost-simultaneous cancer diagnosis, and we were suddenly social distancing and avoiding each other to be safe. Big padded weekends at the boat became sort of scary, and we had to settle for 1:1 weekends, if that.

Still, the day before my surgery in August 2020 I snuck three friends (at once!) onto the boat, and we spend the afternoon, and the evening, and - thanks to a touchy motor that didn't want to re-start - part of the night padded and out on the water. We had a BBQ dinner, and caught a surprise fireworks show offshore, and just hung out. If you were a reader of my blog back then, you may remember how scared I was that complications during surgery might arise. While we didn't really discuss it until the end, we approached that day on the boat like it could be our last, and as we returned to the dock, I was in tears - it meant a lot to me that my friends had been willing to drop everything to come out and spend that time with me. I wasn't sure that I'd get another chance to captain a little padded excursion, and if I wouldn't, I knew I couldn't have asked for a better final cruise out on the water.

Fast forward - my surgery went better than expected, recovery breezed along, COVID mostly came to an end, and things slowly started getting back to normal. In 2021 and 2022 I began to host visitors again, and while the crowded 'blowout weekends' of the past were no longer a thing, we had a few fun weekends out on the water.

In the seven years since I launched the 'Luvs Boat' I've had visitors from NYC, Boston, CT, DC, Miami, Texas, Chicago, Iowa, Mexico City, and Europe, among other places. I've also assembled a core group of 'little' friends I can call on a moment's notice, whether diaper-related or not. Being invited to my first 'diaper party' was a shock of sorts - I'd never met more than one ABDL at a time before I moved, outside of CAP - but I've since attended several. 'Padded pours' wine tours, glamping with the boys, semi-padded hikes with a little (I chafe, lol)... living the padded life, and loving every minute of it...

I absolutely realize how lucky I have gotten.

Although it didn't come without a fair share of work...

Anyway, last week I hosted my fiftieth ABDL visitor to the #LuvsBoat.

50!

We didn't do a photoshoot - it didn't even occur to me until later that he was visitor #50. It was just a short little boat ride to reposition the Luvs Boat from one marina to another. But still... 50! But dude was chill AF - just the way we like them - so hoping to have him back to visit soon...

I realize that counting the number of visitors to the boat probably sounds obnoxious - braggart, much?

I do it for three reasons.

The first is because, over those nine years in ABDL Outcastatopia, I missed out on so many opportunities to meet people from our community. People who wanted to meet but had to swear me to secrecy, lest some daddy find out and ban them from the local parties. People who read my blog and loved the content, but could only tell me that in DMs because commenting where others could see it could cause trouble for them. Did you know that I reached one million blog views, with over a thousand blog entries, and dozens of 'guest entries', and four photo contests - all without a single person from my area appearing anywhere on my blog? Cliques ruin community. Moving away and suddenly getting to meet dozens of ABDLs... that says something to those who I missed out on, and who missed out on meeting me. (I've since had a number of people who were once afraid to meet me reach out to explain their side, or to ask questions, etc. - seeing photos of so many of you visit the boat has made some re-evaluate things, and I absolutely fucking love that.)

The second is because I know that many of you who read my blog are in a similar place as I was. The messages I receive, and results of surveys I've done and polls I do on Twitter, tells me that a large number of those in our community don't have very many - or, often, any - ABDL friends. Maybe it's because a 'clique' of daddies/boys (or mommies/girls?) have intentionally excluded you. Maybe nobody is setting up formal meets in your area yet. Or maybe you just have social anxiety and are afraid to accept invites that are being extended? Whatever the reason, I want to make it known that the same person who can go nine years without making a single local friend can move, find their fortunes changed, and eventually have a few dozen of them. Hang in there...

The third and final reason is because I love to host ABDLs for the first time. Whether it's a college student coming for padded little weekends, or friends visiting from afar, or even littles passing us by on the New York State Thruway and turning in for an afternoon - I love meeting people from our community, and I have a lot of lost time to make up for. While some will become regulars, and others will just be here for a few hours - maybe just to help me move a boat - and will head back along their journey, every visit I've had has been amazing - for me and, I hope, for my new friends. ABDLs have visited the 'Luvs Boat' and left with new friends they made here. Close friends. And, very likely, lifelong friends. People who have met on the Luvs Boat have gone on trips together... two have even gotten engaged. I'm so hoping that 2023 will bring more of the same...

If you live in upstate New York - think western, central, and the Southern Tier - and you'd like to visit, email me at abysitter@gmail.com.

Likewise, if you'll find yourself traveling through the area - I'm just an hour or two from Buffalo, Rochester, Syracuse, Ithaca, Corning, etc. - get in touch.

And, if a long weekend, or a few weekdays, is something you'd be interested in driving out for - same. There's even a direct shuttle from NYC, NJ, Toronto, and a number of other cities. If we're friends but haven't met yet, and you are staring down a summer of adventures, consider making a stop thru NY one of them.

If you're connected to a clique or companies who don't take particularly kindly to my stance on 18+ please be up front about that. I'd prefer to avoid those who actively blackball/ed me for obvious reasons, but I am definitely aware that sometimes innocent li'l ABies get caught up in the 'clique mentality.' If that's been you, open the conversation with that. Who knows what could happen. Honesty is the best policy. TIA, for that.

Anyway, whether you're close by enough to make a visit, or just prefer to enjoy the action on the website, I'm hoping for an amazing spring and summer with lots of fun, some new friends, and magical experiences.

If you're one of the fifty visitors we'd had so far, I can't thank you enough. Every single one has been amazing.

If you're not, and making it to where I am isn't outside of the realm of possibility, let me know.

Cwis

PS: Thanks, as always, for your support... I see every 'like' and 'retweet' on Twitter, and appreciate them all. Y'all rock...

Q&A With Florian/Cathbaby

2023-02-07T07:04:00.005-08:00

Q&A with Florian/Cathbaby

Name/Nick: Florian Ramm / cathbaby

Age: 46

City/State/Country: Kiel / Schleswig-Holstein / Germany

AB/DL/BabyFur/Other? I am ABDL and in BDSM as Babyslave, also like #watersports, so everything that deals with peepee, and I like clinic (in combination with rubber/latex clothes), especially catheter and enema, with and without diaper

When did you first realize you were ABDL?

After I became incontinent (by heavy accident/brain trauma) with 16 I was 3 years in trouble, then psychologist helped me to accept to wear diapers. With 19 I met then a very dominant girlfriend and she liked that I was wearing diapers and we started role play - she made me to be her baby and I started pretty quick to like it and to become "addicted" to ABDL (and later BDSM); BUT 1st tendencies I had already with 12 or 13 because my sister was/is bedwetter and had plastic protection pants - and´I "borrowed" them and weared them as well.

What steps did you take to get your diaper 'fix' as a child and/or teen?

"Normal development" so diaper-free with 3 , then by trauma/accident being 16 years old 6 month in clinic with catheter, after catheter was out it was dripping further and since then diapers are my daily support 24/7/365.

Do your parents and/or siblings know about you and diapers? If so, please explain how, and how they reacted?

Yes they know I wear diapers and it was just seeing as "support" for me (required) but except my (Play)Friends and partners nobody knows that I am ABDL or into BDSM play ;-)

Have you dealt with the shame and regret that is the binge/purge cycle? Please explain.

Sometimes yes, not for wearing diapers - that is normal for me - but for being Adult Baby, wearing baby clothes, sucking pacifier or thumb ; especially if I (very rarely) mess my diaper - with or without enema... but this is very very rare , normally I am very very open and interested in a lot of things and have more or less no shames.

For collegebabies/DLs, did this interest affect your college experiences? If so, how?

I did not go swimming in the lake with my college partners and had some "limits" in doing sports because I did not want somebody to know my "handicap".

How has this fetish affected your social life and/or dating? Married life? Parenting?

A lot - it is not easy to find partners to accept that kink, and if they accept often then do not want to play as well.., Kids no option because I am limited there as well (very low level of sperms). By 1st dates always thinking about "how will I explain..." and "what if She/he finds my stuff..." ??

Some experts believe that we become the way we are because of traumas experienced at an early age, including abuse and/or neglect. Do your life experiences bear this out?

Not that I am aware of BUT my younger bedwetting sister got lot of attention where I had to be the "strong guy", might this impacted me

Some people have pointed out their observation that a larger-than-average number of multiple birth babies (twins, etc.) rep the ABDL lifestyle. If you are one of these, please explain what effect, if any, you feel this may have had on your ABDLishness.

I am not a twin, have younger sister.

For the older generation, please tell us more about what it was like being ABDL before social networking. I will be looking for the perspectives of members in their 40s, 50s, and even higher.

What is "older generation" ;-) I am 46, so as I went inside "ABDL lifestyle" it was with my girlfriend, later (after I got single) as got interested if others feel "baby'ish" or combine diapers and BDSM roleplay with 1st internet explorers, but in "social networks" I am only since 10 years, before there were special groups or sites (more locally, more limited), now it is more the feeling of a "global community" - and this one is bigger than I thought - a lot of ABDL exist > and very interesting fact: there seems to be a strong combination between ABDL and Trans/FemBoi/PupPlay(gay, bi)...

For the little dunces, please tell us about what it was like to discover this fetish/lifestyle on the Internet. Please be at least 18 at the time of writing, but be specific about what age you discovered it, what sites helped you, and keep this part PG for obvious reasons.

I started begin/mid 30ies with diaperspace and then some German local based websites - how did I find them ? by a linklist from a larger diaper supplier who did not only serve incontinent also ABDL and fetish people. My coverage: a longer time kinks/fetishes were more "separated", since 10-15 years they are more "mixing/melting together", same as it is for me - I explore more and I "combine"...

Do your interests involve a subset of this community, such as babyfurs, diaper disciplinarians, wet/messy, sissybabies etc.? Please tell us about it. I won't even try to be specific here; just tell us what you think people should know.

I like a lot and experiment a lot - diaper disciplinarian/babyslave, messing/enema, clinic/catheter ; sissyfication I did not try but I am interested, same as Trans (so having a Trans as dominant or sub ; I switch, so I started as Submissive but since 5 years or so I explore the dominant side as well taking care of interested play partners ; I would declare myself now as "Pansexual" so I like all but started as "bi" after a longer period only attracted by girls but as said I like to experiment and I am very curious :-)

What % of your sexual activities and/or masturbation incorporate diapers? Has this caused problems for you?

95% in diapers (because I am incontinent and can not be without) and I am "addicted" too so like that squishy warm feeling (and the smell of baby powder and urine), but 5% as well just with catheter in "harder play sessions" as pure rubber slave not baby, sometimes I also combine to be the "rubber baby" with (open) catheter AND diaper AND mostly a buttplug in.

If you get into the regression aspect of ABDL please tell us more about that. If you do not, and you have feelings about being lumped into a fetish involving it, explain how it makes you feel.

I feel little, helpless and the other person need to tell me what to do ; and I need something in my mouth - pacifier or thumb.

Don't let yourself be limited by my questions. If you have anything else at all that you would like to say please feel free to say it here:

Overall I think the whole ABDL community gets more "colorful", other kinks are accepted and combined with each other which is creating interesting profiles of people ; I have the feeling that people get more tolerant but more "inside the big pool of kink people", less tolerant "outside".

Twitter... my thoughts/my history...

2022-11-17T19:56:00.007-08:00

I created my Twitter account, @abysitter, way back in April 2009. My blog - the one you're reading now - had been started just a few months before, and I was looking to open some new channels.

I'd started this blog because there were rumors that several of the various ABDL websites were going to go down. I'd made some amazing friends all over the world, and back then we were primarily connected via the diaper sites - a few made the AIM/YIM cut, but not many, and if the diaper sites went down, that would have been a lot of connections lost. I reserved the "Abysitter.com" domain, linked it from my various ABDL site accounts, and hoped that, if the websites died, people would come find me.

One of the websites did go down, new ones opened, but a whole lot of people came and found my blog. And started reading it. Regularly. My stories about growing up ABDL appealed to people, I think, and before long I had regular readers, and soon after contributors - other ABDLs sending photos for me to post, or stories to share. I started doing polls and photo contests within a few years, and the blog really took off.

I celebrated our millionth pageview with a photo contest a few years back. Our 100th Q&A came in the next year, I believe. More than 1,500 blog entries were posted between its beginning and my transitioning content to my new website, WhyABDL.org, around the same time.

That's a lot of content.

I started my Twitter account in part because of a few pedodads (pedophile + daddies) who had blackballed me in my local community - in part so they could continue to party with the kind of people who wouldn't be welcome in our community today. Several people connected to them served as moderators for the diaper websites, and I'd been quietly warned that my accounts on one or two of those websites might be taken down as retaliation if I blogged about their behavior - if you were around back then you may remember that I started posting about minors in kink rather early on, striking fear (and anger) in the hearts of those who support it - a much higher percentage than you'd see today. I figured adding additional channels couldn't hurt. Still, I wasn't aware of any other ABDLs on Twitter, and I honestly didn't think my account would last long there. I created one to reserve the @abysitter handle and figured maybe one day it might just take off with kinksters like it had with tech geeks - its primary user base in the early days.

Eventually, obviously, it did.

When I posted a little bird graphic linking directly to my Twitter page some in our community did not approve - my blog readers had shit to say to me haha. Posting my Twitter handle on the old forums, too, was met with hostility. Li'l ABDLs who came into this community via Twitter will find this hard to believe, but back in '09, '10, '11 if you created an ABDL Twitter account, many in our community would accuse you of "pushing our kink onto the public." Making a kink account on a non-kink website, back then, was the same as stripping down to a diaper on a playground today - sure you could do it, hut should you? It was a bad look for the community.

I kept it up, despite the criticism, though I didn't use it much in the early days. I preferred the space the Blogger platform offered, and once our community began to take to Tumblr, I'll admit I preferred the additional space offered there. I'm wordy - anyone who's tried to slog through my blog entries or my e-book can tell you that. Twitter's character limit was so - limiting, lol - and the DM's were limited, too. Fuck that...

Over the past few years, though, something happened: actual conversations began to take place on Twitter. Sure, the same daddies used it for lurking and sneaky DM grooming, and the same 'stars of the community' boys used it to blast sexy fap material and links to the masses. But between all of that there were people actually conversating. Conversations with multiple parties, even. I started including my Twitter handle in my email blasts, trying to encourage others to join, as well.

When I was diagnosed with cancer in 2020, followed by a surgery which did not go as well as hoped, fatigue took hold and my productivity level dropped a thousand fold. If you knew me in the early years of my blog you'll remember that I was prolific as fuck, often working on a whole bunch of different things at once, updating everywhere with fresh content across the board. All of that changed in the months leading up to my diagnosis. I haven't written much more than a few cancer updates in the past two years.

That's the real reason that I've come to love Twitter. The character limit I once hated has become one of my favorite features - I can keep things short and sweet, posting something meaningful without spending hours on it. It's helped a lot. Even Tumblr posts seem longer-than-necessary, now - I prefer Twitter's 'threads' over a longer Tumblr post any day of the week. And with unlimited character DMs on Twitter, some of my DMs have become an absolute fucking monstrosity of text - y'all know who you are, and I've loved every minute of messaging with you.

Today "RIP Twitter" began trending, and before long had more than 100,000 tweets. Twitter insiders claim that internal problems will lead to things like people being locked out of their accounts, server outages, and maybe even the site's demise. The new owner, Elon Musk, has a history of homophobic and transphobic tweets, so even if the website sticks around, nobody knows what the future of adult content - and, especially, gay/trans content - could be. Will Twitter continue to be safe for someone like us in the future, as it has been since at least 2009? Nobody knows.

If Twitter goes down, it will have a very real impact on the ABDL community, and other kink communities. Sure, there will be replacements - just like Aby.com replaced DPF.com, and RUPadded.com replaced Aby.com, and Diaper-Bois replaced RUPadded.com, something would replace Twitter. Just like Twitter replaced Tumblr for ABDL content - something else will become the next Tumblr. I mean, the next Twitter.

One thing is certain: the ABDL community adapts to change. We will continue to find places to flock to, and we'll continue to find ways to connect with one another, no matter what happens with any website. I've already seen people posting a few dozen times tonight with the links they've already set up just in case something like this happens. We know how it is... we've been through it before, and we'll go through it again.

Here's hoping that Twitter gets it together, and that it continues to be a safe space for kink. If that's not he case, you can find me across numerous other platforms, @abysitter on most and @luvsboat on one or two.

And if the Twitter apocalypse occurred and you're here to find me and share some new link with me - my links are all on the right side of this blog. Or email abysitter@gmail.com. You don't even have to ask - of course I want to keep in touch.

Cancer Update Fall 2022

2022-08-23T09:00:00.003-07:00

Two years ago today I was being prepped for cancer surgery, completely unsure of the outcome. Possible complications during surgery due to the condition itself - plus the usual anesthesiologist warnings - had me feeling fairly certain things wouldn’t go my way, and I wrote a letter expressing my appreciation to our community. It was something of a ‘goodbye letter’, as well, because I wasn’t feeling very optimistic at the time. In something of a ‘silver lining’, my cancer proved to be mostly inoperable - something my surgeon could only determine once they’d opened me up in the operating room. Because they abandoned the plan to operate on my tumor itself and on the lesions on my liver, most of the risk was negated, and my recovery time was faster than expected.

That left me with a rare cancer with one known treatment - a monthly injection administered at the infusion center - and a prognosis that is indeterminate, to say the least. A ‘second opinion’ confirmed that I was on the only course of treatment available to me, and I’ve settled in for monthly shots, quarterly scans, and hoping for the best.

I get a lot of requests for updates. The truth is, there’s not much to share much of the time. Many cancers are the same: go through treatment, get a scan, interpret the scan results, and continue the process. There is no cure for cancer that has spread to the lymph nodes, and short of a liver transplant, which only temporarily slows the kind of cancer I have, once cancer has spread to your liver it’s there and growing, no matter what you do. Stage IV is stage IV - it doesn’t decrease to stage III, and it doesn’t go away. Slow is the goal. So far, as far as metastasis goes, I’m satisfied with how things are progressing.

I hope to see a specialist in the Seattle area who is considered an expert in the particular kind of cancer I have. I may incorporate that into a road trip to the west coast, eventually. But where I bucket-list-road-tripped all the way from New York to Key West in January, and drove the Blue Ridge Mountains in April, the heat wave of the summer brought with it worsening symptoms, especially fatigue and exhaustion. CAPCON almost didn’t happen, and many of the weekends I’d hoped to spend hosting Luvs Boat visitors have been spent in bed, instead. (My hope is a specialist might be able to help improve that side of this).

Two pieces of good news: some very, very introductory-level studies have shown a new classification of drug that appears to make short work on cancerous tumors; and, a new medical treatment for Carcinoid syndrome is being tested. Both of these could be years away, but could be introduced in my lifetime. Hopeful for that!

During these months that things haven’t gone as well for me I’ve poured myself into my work in the ABDL world, doing polls and Twitter and deep-diving into survey data from previous surveys I’ve done. My goals are to publish an explainer for ABDL that is detailed enough for our community but simple enough for those outside of it - spouses, family members, and significant others who don’t understand. I’ve spent years gathering survey data, Q&A’s, and other input, and it’s time to use that to the fullest. I look forward to sharing more with you…

Summer is almost over, fall is coming, and I’m hoping that the cool weather will bring increased energy and decreased symptoms. In the meantime, I want to thank every member of our community who have taken the time to reach out, no matter where it was: at CAPCON, on my Fetlife feed, in an email or direct message - anywhere. Realizing that there are people in a community who care about you and truly want to know how you’re doing feels amazing and, no matter how I’m feeling, makes me feel better every time. So thank you for that.

I belong to several Facebook groups for my specific cancer, and I read so many people feel like they don’t have much of a support network. I’ve had dozens, if not hundreds, of inquiries since I went through surgery two years ago. All of that, plus a case of diapers in the mail and donations toward my road trips - this community has reminded me time and time again that my support network is strong af. So thank you for that.

I feel like fall is going to tell whether things being worse for me was truly the heat or maybe just disease progression. I am hopeful - think positive, right? - that it’s the former. Either way, I wanted to give my mailing list subscribers, blog readers, and friends an update. I’ll have more for you soon.

Your friend,

Cwis

[X] - Follow me on Twitter

[X] - Buy my ABDL E-book

[X] - Support

Also: I’ve had a shit ton of requests for more information on the ‘DNI List’ that I referenced in my last mailing list blast. I’ll have more on that for you soon… that warrants an entry all on its own.

Twitter Photo Contest - Updates!

2022-07-07T16:22:00.004-07:00

'DNI'?????
I've been hearing persistent rumors that a little hive of petty babs has asked some of their friends to avoid interacting with me on Twitter. I've seen enough of a dropoff from certain people in my likes, and had one interaction, to determine that is... true.

I've been calling out cliques and pedodads for a long time, and it's all culminated in... the 'DNI' list?

If someone has asked you not to interaction (DNI = Do Not Interact), or not to participate in this contest, I'd love to hear about it - just reply to this email or DM me on Twitter. And know that, when I share my full account of my time in this community, it will make things crystal clear.

That's coming, but for now... be independent.

There's a reason that I've been championing independent ABDLs who make their own decisions over the many cliques and followers in our community (May 2017) or the boys who blindly follow pedodads (February 2012) or the pedodads themselves (March 2015) or the boys who blindly follow the clique(January 2014). This is far from new... I've been talking about this shit for over a decade. Not everyone is a fan, it turns out...

If anyone, in this or any other community, ever tells you that you shouldn't interact with anyone... ask questions. Even if that person seems like a 'leader'. My experiences have showed me that not all 'community leaders' are created the same, and sometimes good people get targeted by people who don't have half their character. I've seen it happen to others, and it's happened to me. For the vast majority who still support me - I truly appreciate it.

TWITTER PHOTO CONTEST DEADLINE - PROBABLY 7/11!
My Twitter photo contest deadline is 7/11! Nobody ever wants to be the first, but I finally have an entry - check it out! That guarantees a Canadian winner... who's next? Prizes for top photo in US, Canada, Mexico, Europe, and Australia, plus a few prizes that can be won by anyone, anywhere. Anyone can win, so make a "SummerOfSog" sign, snap a summery photo, and enter! Click here for rules and details.

PRIZES GALORE!
Prizes for this contest have been donated by ABUniverse, AgeComfort.com, Diaper-Minister, Northshore, and OnesiesDownunder, and include:

$250AU in OnesieBucks ($100AU group, $50AU for Most Creative, Most Summery, and 'Broke the Mold' - more on that soon.
Bag of Cushies diapers (Mexico, Australia where it's winter, blah)
Bag of Crinklz Aquanauts diapers (USA)
Bag of Little Sailors diapers (Europe)
Bag of Forsite Under the Sea diapers (Canada)
Nautical Baby Bottles (for best comments)

LEAVE A NICE COMMENT

Remember, there are awards for leaving nice comments! Give someone a morale boost and you're eligible to win a prize, as well! Visit the contest announcement tweet to check them out.

MY APOLOGIES...

I've had a number of folks hit me up to share that they're on vacation or traveling during the past holiday week, and I guess not everyone packs diapers or sign-making material on their trips? We'll wait to see how many entries roll in before I decide whether I'll be able to extend the deadline. I'm anxious to get these prizes shipped out! Keep an eye on the contest details page for updates.

TWITTER PHOTO CONTEST SUMMER 2022

2022-06-25T12:35:00.001-07:00

TWITTER PHOTO CONTEST

CLICK HERE FOR THE CONTEST TWEET

This is a Twitter-only contest.

Visit whyABDL.org/summerofsog for details.

18+ (duh)

PRIZES:

Group Photo: $100AU Giftcard Courtesy OnesiesDownUnder

Top USA: Bag of Crinklz Aquanauts courtesy Northshore

Top Canada: Bag of Forsite Under the Sea Diapers courtesy AgeComfort.com

Top Mexico: Bag of ABUniverse Cushies courtesy ABUniverse.com

Top Europe: Bag of Kiddos Little Sailors Diapers courtesy Diaper-Minister

Top Australia (where it's currently winter): Bag of ABUniverse Cushies courtesy ABUniverse.com

Most Creative Sign: $50AU Giftcard courtesy OnesidesDownunder.

Most Summery Scene: $50AU Giftcard courtesy OnesiesDownunder.

'Broke the Mold': $50AU Giftcard courtesy OnesiesDownunder.

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(KINDEST, MOST UPLIFTING, AND FUNNIEST)

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Updates Spring 2022

2022-04-28T10:10:00.004-07:00

Updates - Spring 2022

LUVS BOAT

It’s launch time and the ‘Luvs Boat’ should be afloat during the next few weeks.

In 2020 I was in bed (on the boat) for weeks, awaiting surgery, and we were all quarantining, so I saw only my most die-hard boating friends. In 2021 things were getting back to normal, but we limited visitors to people I knew would be taking COVID precautions - no new people that year.

In 2022, with things even more ‘back to normal’ and those of us who are vaccinated appearing to be immune from serious complications from COVID, I am hoping to make a few new friends. Maybe have some visitors from afar.

Nothing crazy, but I’m building a little invite list.

If you live in upstate New York, or will be visiting the area between May and October of this year, email me.

ROAD TRIPS

I’m also building a little contact list for future road trips… scroll to the bottom of this email to read more.

In 2021 I acquired a Tesla Model 3. It’s the entry-level EV from Tesla, but I absolutely love it. What I love most is being able to take road trips on the cheap, criss-crossing the country and mainly charging (for free) at campsites as I go.

I have a huge hook-on tent that clips to the back, but I much prefer sleeping in the car - they call that Teslacamping. So far in 2022 I have spent the night in my little sleeping pod nearly 30 nights. (I’ve been on the road for almost 40, but health conditions and weather have necessitated some hotel and homestays).

Those of you who have been with me for a while have probably seen the road trip I took with Ben in June of last year. That trip was so amazing, but too short. This past January I traveled solo from my home in New York state down the Atlantic coast to spend some time in the Outer Banks, in South Carolina, an overnight in Georgia, and a week in Florida, including two nights in Key West. What a trip! Earlier this month I took a trip to Virginia, North Carolina, and a little bit into Tennessee to drive Skyline Drive, the Blue Ridge Parkway, and Tail of the Dragon. Talk about beautiful.

Each trip has been a padded road trip - I’ve been diapered nearly 100% of the time, with a few exceptions. I will say that wearing diapers while driving 5,000 miles in January made that trip a lot easier - and a bit more fun - but wearing them on the Blue Ridge Parkway was an absolute necessity - the rest areas are mostly closed this time of year, some of the port-a-loos were overflowing, and the Appalachian Trail hikers just pee and poo in the woods so many folks visiting in their cars do that, too. Diapers! Don’t go on a road trip or hike the trails without them.

Still, it wasn’t as fun without Ben - two diaperboys on the road makes it an adventure! I did get to see a friend (and repeat boat visitor) while I was in Miami, so that was cool. And I had plans to visit some ABDL friends in NC on the way back up, but the January COVID outbreak ruined that. And I couldn’t find the contact info of two in Florida I’d hoped to see when I was there. A little from inland NC offered to drive out to the Outer Banks for an overnight and I have been kicking myself ever since for not taking him up on it.

Ben’s talked about coming back for a re-attempt at our Great Lakes Road Trip - you might remember that the first edition got shortened after some joyriders in a parking lot caused $6K in damage to the car. LittleBroTyTy would like to go on an adventure with me this year, too. And, as I do a few into neighboring states over the summer, I may have other friends ask to join. Maybe I’ll even bring the tent on a few and have some padded sleeping under the stars with a gaggle of littles. A few friends have brought up a group road trip plan. For now, I’m just loving every minute of the drives, and trying to make every day as experienced-filled as possible, wet, damp, or dry.

CANCER

You may remember that, in June of 2020 I was diagnosed with Stage IV neuroendocrine cancer. I had surgery - one I was afraid I may not make it out of - and while the most serious of the tumors was inoperable and my surgeon abandoned surgery on my liver (for the time being) to avoid more serious complications, the surgery did help alleviate some of the symptoms of the disease.

Since then I’ve had a monthly ‘chemo’ injection, and scans every 3-4 months to keep an eye on the tumors - are they growing, spreading?

I get questions about my cancer a lot, and I appreciate it every time. Sometimes it’s hard to update immediately, and my answers may be a bit simplistic at times, especially during the periods of time where I haven’t known myself and am anxiously awaiting the next scan. Still, the first 15 months following surgery went fairly smoothly, save for a need for iron infusions when I turned out to be very anemic due to a reduced ability to absorb iron - likely caused by the medication. A bit more detailed info on recent difficulties follows - skip to the next subject header if you don’t want to hear…

After my January road trip I returned and reported that my symptoms were worsening. My oncology team watches for signs of more than just scans showing tumor growth, as this is a type of cancer that is slow-growing but can cause many other issues that don’t show up on the scans.

Another problem that arose was that my blood pressure suddenly spiked, and medication wouldn’t bring it down. My oncologist was concerned that the monthly dose was the direct cause of the increased hypertension - he’d doubled my dose back in December to increase the effects of the drug, and thought that it might be too much. They decided to stop the cancer treatments for three weeks, to monitor things. My blood pressure improved and the symptoms didn’t get too much worse, so they sent me off on my road trip after a halved dose.

Symptoms during the last road trip were not good at all, and upon my return it was decided that the double dose would be the norm going forward. Things have improved since then, but my BP is higher again. Some patients have to stop taking the drug altogether because of its side effects, and they are investigating a different drug - there are only two that work for my kind of cancer - and some additional medication that is apparently so expensive they fully expect to have to fight my insurer to get it approved, and don’t think they will win. (Those of you reading this from Canada, Europe, and other countries with real healthcare… I can’t tell you how lucky you are). I also met with a radiation oncologist, because if they have to stop the shot the next step will be radiation. I’m a little concerned because I clearly remember my surgeon telling me that radiation would be the last-ditch effort step, and they’re talking about it now. But they tell me not to worry. Still no way to really predict.

My next concern will be my scan in June, because stopping the monthly injection typically leads to the cancer spreading within weeks. Was my ‘break’ from the shot long enough to lead to tumor growth? I’ll know in June.

My cancer is one where the prognosis is difficult to determine. I belong to Facebook groups for my specific cancer type, and they’re full of people celebrating milestones - sometimes 9, 10 years! still alive following surgery - but they’re also filled with notifications of the passing of people who seemed healthier than me and hoped to live for years but lived for just a few. One woman who had her surgery the exact same day as I did died one year later; I was celebrating my surgery anniversary and she made it exactly to the anniversary.

I’m hopeful that my scan in June reveals good news and we proceed with whatever the best course of treatment is. But since neuroendocrine cancer is unpredictable, and since the symptoms is causes typically worsen over time, and since it can cause issues that go beyond simple cancer itself - carcinoid syndrome, carcinoid heart disease, and etc. - I’m going to keep trying to fit as much as possible into every day.

Sorry to those who have gotten short, nondescript answers about my cancer - I get the question a few times every week, at least, and sometimes it’s harder to answer than others.

CAPCON, TEDDYCON, ETC.

Hoping to attend CAPCON this year! If so it would be my sixth one. Tyson and I, like most of you who are going, didn’t get a room in the host hotel. (Boo!) We’re hoping things change - you may remember that everyone who was closed out of the host hotel in 2020 eventually got a room if they wanted one. This year does seem to be even more popular than the past, probably because of the many events that have been canceled - CAPCON, TeddyCon, WCJJ, and TomKat just here in the US - so if there’s an event, everyone will jump at the chance to attend. Tyson found a hotel that has suites just down the street, so we may do that and have a little get-together of our own with those who are able to drive… time will tell.

I had considered proposing a class to teach at the con - you may remember I co-lead one on the history of the ABDL internet five years ago, and lead a discussion on the ‘Origins of ABDL’ a year later. I’d love to lead another discussion, because there are a few topics that I think would make a fascinating discussion. Still not sure. My treatment schedule and, sometimes, symptoms could lead to my not being able to attend, and stress leads to increase symptoms so… maybe I’ll leave the classes up to others this year. We’ll see. If you have a good idea for a class that you’d like to attend, I’d love to hear it. If you’re going to CAPCON in July, consider proposing and teaching it! Anyone can do it… trust me…

I will say that I was very unhappy with the way CAPCON went down in 2020, from registration to the hotel booking. I was one of those who provided feedback - privately at first, and then publicly when it appeared that it had fallen on deaf ears. I have to give credit where it’s due: the process this year has been much more transparent and, I have to say, well-organized. Presuming that there is fairness in the way that the rooms are being handed out, most everything this year is an improvement. I see a lot of complaining about delays and dates not met, and I have to say that running an event of this magnitude is a daunting task and not following up on the exact date, while testing the anxiety of those of us who have it, isn’t that remarkable. Everyone just be chill… so far, though, my ABU cap is off to organizers.

As for TeddyCon…

I had never gotten to attend a TeddyCon. I bought tickets several years, but I was always closed out of the host hotel, and like many of you I like having that little escape to duck into during the con. So I just didn’t go. It probably didn’t help that it was the very end of boating season every year, and I had a lot to do, so a con felt like something I just didn’t have time for.

TeddyCon very generously sponsored my photo contest one year, donating a room in the host hotel and a whole bunch of other prizes, and I always appreciated that. I had planned to attend this last one, despite my COVID concerns, and was excited to even get a room in the host hotel last-minute! Woo hoo!

Turned out that was probably because the hotel had just found out the event would be canceled. A day or so later they made the announcement. I was just as surprised as anyone. And I haven’t heard a thing from the organizers since, like everyone else. (Not that I would expect to).

The one thing I want to say is this. In all of the years of my not attending, so many of my community friends reached out to try to convince me to go. Some of y’all LOVED TeddyCon considerably. I’ll be honest when I say I don’t think anyone has every talked to me about CAPCON, or any other con, the way some of you tried to sell me on Teddy. It was small… it was intimate… it was welcoming.

I’ve seen a lot of hate directed toward TeddyCon recently. Much of it is rooted in the disappointment of a chance to be little, and we with accepting friends, pulled out from under us at the last minute. I get that. But speaking as someone who has had a hand in putting on major events - vanilla ones - that stopped with COVID, I can say that when cancellations happen, full refunds - or, sometimes, partial refunds, even - aren’t possible. Much of the money has been spent in the preparation for the event, and it just isn’t there to be returned.

I’m not privy to the books of TeddyCon, and people have said a lot about the way news was communicated, etc. which I can agree with. But for those who were proud of TeddyCon and loved that event with so much passion over the years - I hope you can remember the many good years that it provided. I feel like, without the COVID catastrophe we had this past year, TeddyCon would still be going strong.

SUMMER ROAD TRIPS

Hoping to fit in at least one or two summer road trips this year, in between cancer treatments, boat weekends, and everything else.

One possibility is a Great Lakes Trip: overnights on all five of the Great Lakes: Lake Ontario, Lake Erie, Lake Michigan, Lake Huron, and Lake Superior. If you live on or near the shores of any of these, anywhere (US or Canadian side), and would be interested in meeting if/when I come through, please email me your info, including social profiles.

(That one I may combine with a drive to and from CAPCON in late July/early August.

Another possibility is Maine to Maryland, or possibly even to DC. That would probably occur after CAP, in August. If you live in any of the Atlantic states that would be on that route: Maine, New Hampshire/Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut/Rhode Island, NYC, NJ, Delaware, Maryland, Virginia (around DC), or DC… email email me your info, including social profiles?

I’ll be doing a bigger road trip around the entire US once I have my financing straight and if my health holds up, so I will eventually be reaching out to find out what city/states all of my friends are in.

Friends and people I’ve talked with in the past, especially, I’d like to try to meet on these trips.

So hit me up.

FINALLY… FRANCE

Due to relatives spending an extensive amount of time in France, I may be making a visit to Europe this summer or fall.

Not trying to set anything up now until I know for sure. But if you’re a French friend (or on the western border of France, which is the part I’d likely be visiting) holla.

Scenes from the Road Trip

2021-08-01T12:46:00.003-07:00

SCENES FROM THE ROAD TRIP!

In June, my 'little bro' ABenjaminButton and I took a road trip.

I tweeted all of the highlights from the road, but it's become apparent from the emails I've since received that not everyone who reads this blog is on Twitter.

For those of you who want to see all of the deets, I've put together a website that shares each of the related posts - you should be able to see them whether you're logged in to Twitter or not.

I'm also working on an e-book that will share dozens of photos we haven't shared, and lots of stuff from the trip that didn't make it to Twitter. I expect that will be released late summer/fall. Stay tuned...

In the meantime, to check out the web page, click the link below...

whyABDL.org/miniroadtrip

Who remembers?

2021-03-06T08:58:00.002-08:00

Who remembers?

When I sprang on to the ABDL scene as a college student, old daddies diapering adolescents was fairly common. Some of your favorite ABDLs' first diaper pics were taken when they were 14, 15, 16. Many are still being shared across social media today, unfortunately.

Me and a few others mainly in my age range were vocal about the mixing of minors and adults in the community needing to stop. Back then our message boards were rife with debate. Believe it or not, we were decidedly in the minority at one point! Our own community sites actually WELCOMED minors, often right from the front page. Fully-grown adults would vehemently defend the inclusion of kids, using excuses like "it's not sexual" and "I'm not just showing him the ropes" and "if the good people don't take him in, someone bad will." Hmm.

Back then, those of us speaking up were branded "18+ nazi's" and blackballed from the pool parties and community events still being run by the old-schoolers who thought that mixing with minors was "innocent" and viewed our taking a stand as "tearing communities apart."

Can’t tell you how many rage rants I got from underage ABDLs, too, in the years that followed. Bitter daddies forced to change their behavior love to blame others for being “forced to discriminate”, and kids just don’t know any better. (Some of y’all know who you are lol).

Imagine trying to convince a kink community to adopt 18+ and not being in the majority? It wasn’t just ABDL, either - most kink communities went through the same debates. It was just more important in ours, maybe, because of the nature of the content, and the perception?

Anyway, I'm working on a segment for my website and I'd love to hear from those of you who remember the good times.

Maybe you yourself were taken advantage of by a daddy or part of the community?

Maybe you remember the heated forum debate battles (or took screenshots?)

Maybe someone told you that you weren't allowed to invite me to a pool party and you're only just now realizing why?

Maybe you were an underage little who ranted in my DMs because you truly felt that you were being "age bias'd" - but now (hopefully) understand better?

Maybe you have other memories of that period in our community and you'd be willing to share them?

I'd love to hear anything you remember. Email is abysitter@gmail.com. Hit me up. 100% anonymity.

Some 2021 Updates...

2021-02-18T07:01:00.008-08:00

(thanks, Mojo!)

Hey, y'all...

Just a few updates for 2021...

First, sorry that I haven't been keeping the Blogger blog updated. I've been over on the 'new' Abysitter.com site, putting page after page after page together. It takes days to build a website, and that's what I'm doing... trying to update everything to the newest versions in preparation for the day that someone else starts helping with it or takes it over. That takes a lot of time, so not doing a lot over here - I think I hit a record for days without a post!

Curious about cancer updates? Visit whyABDL.org/cancer. The latest news is at the top. In late 2020 I went to Boston twice for 'second opinion' consultations at the cancer center there. Their opinion: that all that could be done surgically has been done - and done well - but my cancer is just not resolvable surgically, and that further surgery would be 'incompatible with life' lol. There's even more in 2021, but I haven't updated the site with it yet... I went a week without insurance for medication due to a computer error nobody could figure out how to fix... meanwhile the injection I get every 28 days came due, and they say that about a week after the due date it stops working and your tumors speed right up. Thankfully they got it figured out just in time, but I found out that the shots are $7,600+ each, and in fact my medical bills in 2020 (from June's diagnosis forward) were more than $200K. (I was only personally responsible for between $6,000-$7,000 of that, thankfully - insurance paid the rest.) I thought I was having a shit ton of anxiety attacks that week after call upon call with insurance, but it turned out to be something else... they're doing tests as we speak to try to rule out metastasis to my heart, collapsed lung (possibly during the August surgery?) - waiting to see and hoping for the best. Between that and being extra fucking tired most of the time, haven't been real active anywhere.

I have spent a lot of 2021 padded, chilling with my puppy and watching movies from my childhood... there's something to be said for that, right?

On a brighter note, I get my first COVID vaccine in early March! So excited about that...

Normally this is the time of year we'd all be getting mentally prepared for CAPCON, so it's sad that it's not going to happen this year - or, at least, at its usual time. (No announcements yet). Still, I'm excited to be going to TeddyCon in November, health permitting. This is the first time it hasn't been held during the final week of boating season! Just hoping COVID decreases enough to allow for some get-togethers in between now and then.

If you follow my Twitter or belong to my mailing list you probably know I got permission to publish another story, Fraternity Baby - it was actually on my blog years ago in three parts, and was supposed to go into the e-book, but I couldn't reach my friend in time. A few years later (four!) he reached out about my illness, and I mentioned it, and he didn't notice that in my email and just got back to me with permission. You can buy it for $2.99 here:

BUY THE STORY

And, the e-book is still for sale as well: 350 pages for $9.99.

BUY THE E-BOOK

With the story, you MUST click a link that takes you to the PDF, so be careful you don't miss it. (If you do, email abysitter@gmail.com with a screenshot of the page it does take it to you, and I will try to send you the link myself). With the second link above, the e-book, once you make your payment it sends me info and I send you that link. That PDF is HUGE - again, it's 350 pages with tons of pictures - so download it ASAP, and be prepared to wait if you are on slower WiFi.

And, as always, the donation page is open - visit whyABDL.org/donate, or whyABDL.com. Whether you make a contribution or purchase the story or book, the proceeds help fund the work I'm doing on the upcoming website, and I humbly thank you for your support.

Now, just a few updates to the new site:

The 'Luvs Boat' portion of the site is now four pages, instead of one, with lots more narrative.
Some of the Q&A's - five so far - are 'featured' and appear on their own page.
In addition to the Padded Pups page, there will be a page for Babyfurs.
There is a story page for the Big Kid Bucket (Big Boy, Big Girl, Big Genderfluid, etc.), and there will be a whole series added once COVID restrictions are lifted.
Several additional stories from my blog have been added to the stories page.
There is a bit more recognition for sponsors/donors on a separate page.

Once again, the entire site is being rebuilt - page by page. I'm probably going to remove some pages that weren't popular, as well, so if there's any certain part of the old site that you really, really liked, and you don't see it above, email me.

Here's hoping that 2021 is going well for you, and that if it's going like mine is, it starts going better soon.

In the meantime, one last thing... a little early lol...

Twitter Popup Contest

2020-12-13T12:42:00.001-08:00

Holding four Twitter popup mini-contests this week.

First is live! Theme: padded gaming.

Click the link or image and check it out...

For those of you on Tumblr...

I'll have something for you in 2021.

In the meantime, consider joining us over on Twitter...

Q&A With LittleBoyJakey

2020-11-13T15:45:00.007-08:00

[CWIS'S NOTE] Up today I have a Q&A with, and some adorable pictures from, LittleBoyJakey. You may know him from his Twitter account; he's also the fiancé of LittleBoyOlive, who some of my readers may remember as Z from the LuvsBoat. If you're on Twitter, be sure to give Jakey a follow (@LilBoyJakey)!

Want to do a Q&A for my blog? Email me at abysitter@gmail.com, and put "Q&A" in the subject, I'll reply with the questions! 18+ I'll be updating the WhyABDL.org website with Q&A's in the near future, as well... stay tuned!

Thanks, Jakey!

Q&A With LittleBoyJakey

Name/Nick: Jakey
Age: 21 (little age 1-2)
City/State/Country: Richmond, Virginia
AB/DL/BabyFur/Other? ABDL!

When did you first realize you were ABDL?

I first remember having thoughts about diapers, pacis, bottles and such around 8 years old. I often has accidents for years as a kid, come to find out later on in life I actually have what’s called urge incontinence and my mother just never helped me get it treated. But none the less I would get locked in staring at the diapers at the grocery store, if a family member ever asked me to get a diaper for them when they were changing their kid I would take a little to long just holding them and staring in awe. When I discovered I could fit into pampers size 7 as a 10 year old it kind of exploded from there!

What steps did you take to get your diaper 'fix' as a child and/or teen?

Around 10 years old I started acting on my desires, as much as I hate to admit it I stole some diapers from my brother (they were for his kid) and discovered that I was tiny enough to fit comfortably into a pampers size 7. I kept that up for about a year and then discovered goodnites which I could get free samples of! So of course I did, unfortunately I did not account for the fact that my mother checked the mail, and she had lots of questions! Eventually I started scrounging up money and gift cards and walking about 2.5 miles down the busy main highway through town to the local grocery to buy pampers, pacis and goodnites whenever I could get away with it.

Do your parents and/or siblings know about you and diapers? If so, please explain how, and how they reacted?

Unfortunately, all of my family knows about my diapers and most of them know about my little side. My mother was suspicious when I ordered free samples of goodnites, however I was able to chock this up to my constant accidents and bed wetting. She had other ideas unfortunately she took the samples from me and instead purchased a cold, noisy and uncomfortable plastic sheet to “solve” my problems. I eventually found other ways to find diapers of course and unfortunately for me I was not very good at hiding it, my mother thought I was disturbed. Her biggest concern was that I was a “gay” or a pedophile. I would continue to buy diapers and when I turned 16 I started buying abdl diapers (QTTY rawr diapers to be exact), this would enrage her. She would find them in my hiding spots and trash them all. I would dumpster dive for the, this only worked for a short amount of time before she started destroying them before tossing them out. One of my father’s neighbors caught me lounging about outside my father’s home in just a goodnite once and informed my father, he was more confused than anything. When I eventually made it out of my mother’s home, I ended up living with my father at the age of 18 until I was 20, he was aware of my abdl shenanigans, but he never said anything I assume out of respect since I was technically an adult and it was my own money.

Have you dealt with the shame and regret that is the binge/purge cycle? Please explain.

ABSOLUTELY! I cannot count the times I have thrown out all my abdl gear in shame. I was also dealing with some unresolved mental health issues and periodically I would start to feel disgusted by myself and my abdl side. Luckily I ended up getting some mental health assistance and started to accept my little side and all that comes with it! I discovered that little space is like an anxiety medicine for me and I haven’t had any “purge” for about 2-3 years.

How has this fetish affected your social life and/or dating? Married life? Parenting?

Before I found (@lilboyolive), currently my fiancé, dating was an interesting minefield for me, I would start talking to people but I would never meet them because I knew that little me is a big part of who I am, and I couldn’t love someone who couldn’t love little me. All of my friends and even my coworkers know I wear diapers and that I am a little, taking this step has made my life 100% easier, no more fear and no shame about being who I am. All of my friends and coworkers were very accepting and most of them said they weren’t surprised in the slightest!

Some experts believe that we become the way we are because of traumas experienced at an early age, including abuse and/or neglect. Do your life experiences bear this out?

I 100% believe this, I suffered an unfortunate amount of verbal, mental, and physical abuse from my mother as a child. I think this directly influences my need to be a little, and my lack of desire for any mommies in my scenes. I'm sure the way my mother poorly handled my health issues with accidents and bedwetting definitely pushed me into ABDL.

Oh goodness do I feel a large amount of shame about the age I discovered ABDL social media, I was 10 years old! I first discovered abdl content on the image hosting site “photo bucket” of all places! I quickly discovered abdl tumblr and lerked for years, at one point I actually made a ABDL Instagram that was short lived (thank god) before Instagram deleted me for my age and content. The sight that ultimately helped me accept myself was tumblr, the sea of ABDL pioneers helped me feel less alone and definitely helped me stop feeling so crazy about wanting to act like a baby all the time! Tumblr would actually lead me to Cwis’s site and I would actually eventually try to use it to convince my mother that I wasn’t insane!

As much as I originally never wanted to admit it, I am a diaper pup as well as a little! Pup space is not a hard jump from little space and I think that’s why it has always called to me (also collars and onesies I mean have you seen the combo!). I think pup space and little space are almost identical kinks just one has a little more cuteness (ill let you decide which one!) thankfully Olive helped me explore my pup side and having close friends (and idols for the longest time) like @jamesfrost_3 (a ABU diaper god and fantastic baby sitter) and @pupjacksonboy ( a part-time babysitter and unofficial big for me) really helped me get out of my comfort zone and become the little crinkly pup that I’ve always been!

What % of your sexual activities and/or masturbation incorporate diapers? Has this caused problems for you?

Diapers are Definity not required for me to have sex, however they’re not removed entirely from the bedroom activities, they have been incorporated a few times but they’re by no means a necessity. HOWEVER, masturbation is pretty much exclusive to diapers for me. Simply put its convenient and a magic wand on a soggy diaper is just stimulation heaven.

If you get into the regression aspect of ABDL please tell us more about that. If you do not, and you have feelings about being lumped into a fetish involving it, explain how it makes you feel.

I most certainly do regress, of course if you know me or follow me then you’ll know that I’m a huge baby! I’m almost always in little space to some degree and I’ve more or less let it become a part of my daily life. You’d be hard pressed to find me out and about not wearing at least one article of little clothing, being a little is really who I am! I am genuinely just a little boy in a big boy body making my way through life being as sweet as I can!

I do want to touch on the fact that little space, whether you like it or not is a kink. DO NOT involve or allow minors to be involved in your kink. It’s dangerous for everyone! Their time will come to join the community! Don’t put yourself or others in danger, not only could it be detrimental to your life it makes a horrible name for our community. We are a group of consenting (and adorable) adults who like to be cutesy and dress up like kids and wear diapers, let’s keep that to consenting adults!

Don't let yourself be limited by my questions. If you have anything else at all that you would like to say please feel free to say it here:

Our community is amazing and wonderful, there are so many of us out there and I am beyond thankful for the ability to be united on social media! With that being said, we have to fight every day for our kink to be accepted in other kink communities, what we do is simply that, a kink and there is no reason for us to not be accepted! So I ask that all of us make sure to make a good name for the whole community, do not interact with minors, and (this is really important to me) do not, do not force non-consenting individuals to be a part of your “scene” not everyone wants to see a man in a diaper walking down the street! It makes our community as a whole look awful and destroys the progress we make establishing ourselves with other kinksters.

I cannot wait to see how our community continues to grow, I hope that it becomes more accepted and I hope that our community itself becomes more accepting. I cannot wait for the day that babs don’t have to be the “picture-perfect” twink to gather likes and friends!

DON'T FORGET TO GIVE JAKEY

A FOLLOW: ON TWITTER:

@LILBOYJAKEY

WANT TO DO A Q&A?

ABYSITTER@GMAIL.COM

18+

Q&A With JohnnyPup

2020-10-20T07:12:00.007-07:00

[CWIS'S NOTE] Up today I have a Q&A from Jonathan. Check out his answers and give him a follow! Thanks, Jonathan!

Want to do a Q&A? More than 100 members of the community have taken the time to complete the questionnaire and share their ABDL origins story with the community. If you're interested, email abysitter@gmail.com and put "Q&A" in the subject, I'll reply with the questions.

Q&A With Johnnypup

Name/Nick: Jonathan "Jon" "Johnny (little name)"
Age: 25
City/State/Country: Greenwood Lake/NY/US
AB/DL/BabyFur/Other? Both AB/DL + baby/kidfur •

When did you first realize you were ABDL?

When I was 3/4 for liking diapers, 22 for my abdl side of things.

What steps did you take to get your diaper 'fix' as a child and/or teen?

I used to steal my brothers' diapers up to age 6 when my dad caught me. When I was a teen there was a pack of huggies in my grandparents' house and I used those up!

Do your parents and/or siblings know about you and diapers? If so, please explain how, and how they reacted?

They do not know about my diaper side minus whatever they remember from my childhood.

Have you dealt with the shame and regret that is the binge/purge cycle? Please explain.

I only had that with porn, but I have not purged my diaper stash. I did upgrade my size so I was wanting to find a way to sell or give away my mediums without throwing them away!

How has this fetish affected your social life and/or dating? Married life? Parenting?

I haven't really been comfortable with opening up to vanilla hookups/dates, but I feel like if I'm going to invest in someone they have to be ok with my fetish or it may cause some conflicts. I also feel like I can get past it if I really love the person, but they have to know that'll always be a part of my life.

Some experts believe that we become the way we are because of traumas experienced at an early age, including abuse and/or neglect. Do your life experiences bear this out?

Neglect 100%. Not particularly my parents' fault, when I was 3 my mother had triplets so I went from the only child/getting attention every second to being put on the back burner. I remember coming out to where my parents and grandmother were, a baby in each arm. I was already potty trained but to get attention I walked out in just my underwear and messed myself. That really showed my parents I was crying for attention. These experiences have also soured my relationship with my brothers, don't get me wrong I do love them, but I never really tried to get too close to them.

Not a multiple, but I have identical triplet brothers which aided in my diaper passion as explained above lol

I was 22 when I found out about adult diapers. I looked it up on google to find baby printed ones for adults and discovered ABU. Then I went from buying diapers and little clothes to opening up some social media, I have a Fetlife account I post on sometimes and have a Twitter for my cub/baby fursona. • Do your interests involve a subset of this community, such as babyfurs, diaper disciplinarians, wet/messy, sissybabies etc.? Please tell us about it. I won't even try to be specific here; just tell us what you think people should know. -I am definitely a furry, and I feel like it's from all the animal movies I watched as a kid. I have a husky fursona! I'm also into wetting, and messing too, tho it's kinda hard to mess while still living with family.

What % of your sexual activities and/or masturbation incorporate diapers? Has this caused problems for you?

90%, mostly because a nice wet diaper is so good to sniff and bury your face in. They also act as good cum catchers hehe

If you get into the regression aspect of ABDL please tell us more about that. If you do not, and you have feelings about being lumped into a fetish involving it, explain how it makes you feel.

I regress frequently, especially at night when I'm in bed snuggled up to my teddy and wearing my usual cute shirt + diaper combo, though some nights I have to have a onesie on! Regression is more of a comfort thing to me than a sexual thing

Don't let yourself be limited by my questions. If you have anything else at all that you would like to say please feel free to say it here:

I think things like this is good for the community, some of us feel like we're alone on this journey, but seeing how big the AB/DL community really gives my heart hope that we can see safe spaces for us all to be who we are without judgement. I hope to maybe one day find a caring mommy or daddy on the future to go to cons and luncheons with, really get immersed into the ever growing community of babs and diaper pals! Thank you for the opportunity to answer your questions ❤️

Don't forget to give Johnny a follow on Twitter:

COMING SOON!

Spotlight: Casey Strom & ABUniverse

2020-09-17T11:01:00.001-07:00

[CWIS’S NOTE] Up today I have an interview with Casey Strom, CEO of ABUniverse. Casey is a long-time member of the community, and has been owner of ABU since 2015.

Have spotlight ideas for me? Email me at abysitter@gmail.com.

CWIS: You’re generally considered to be the Steve Jobs of the ABDL world, a magnate of sorts in the adult (baby) diaper manufacturing business. Can you tell us a bit about how you got started with ABUniverse?

CASEY: Around the time I was 18, I began doing some marketing work for the previous owners of ABU assisted with some product launches. I lost touch with them for many years, exchanging at most pleasantries around the holidays. In 2013 or so, the company I owned at that time moved into an office building that had an attached warehouse, and by complete coincidence, ABU was the occupant of the warehouse adjacent to us. I reconnected and offered assistance. After going on a long out of state trip to another one of our offices, I returned to find that ABU had jumped their lease, and there were tons of complaints everywhere online about them not shipping orders out. I made a few calls/texts to the owners, but didn’t hear anything back. I knew that they were going through a divorce, but the wife ran things day to day at ABU. In 2015 I was able to reconnect with the husband to discuss some possible career changes in my life, as his day job and mine were in the same industry, and I was more or less looking to see what the job market was like. We had dinner, and over the course of many hours of talking, the conversation kept swinging back to him suggesting that I become a turnaround CEO for ABU, as they had been trying to sell the dying company without much success. I just joked they could not afford me. Over the night, I did ponder the very real possibility of buying it outright. I talked to my family and decided that it could be a very wise move, or it could be something that if it didn’t work, we would allow the brand to finally come to a complete halt and die. After A VERY crazy 48 hours, I bought all of the assets from the company (remaining inventory, customer database, intellectual property rights, etc). Within two hours the company was shut down so we could begin to sort out the mess. The next few weeks were unimaginably insane. Finding out the scope of damage done to customers that didn’t get their orders after paying and waiting many months - and in some cases years. It was all very shocking. I had some amazing help at that time as a new team formed to carry the company into a new era. On April 22nd 2015, merely 47 days after closing, we launched with a new warehouse, new team, new logo, new inventory - at that point I knew the insanity had been worth it.

CWIS: Are you a ‘little’ yourself? AB? DL? Pup? Tell us a little bit about your own persona, if you don’t mind?

CASEY: I am a little - maybe a bratty 4 year old. I’d say I'm equal parts AB and DL. From a young age (maybe when I was 4? 5?), I found the familiar scent of the grocery store diaper aisle intoxicating and a sign of something more I should discover about myself. Feeling funny when I saw a diaper commercial on tv - that was something. I recall having those feelings as early as when I was being potty trained. As soon as I had access to the internet with a little bit of privacy, I knew pretty fast that I wasn’t alone in these feelings.

I’ve resigned to going 24/7, as it is something that I’ve always wanted to do and I really have no reason not to, and that is something that brings me a lot of comfort.

CWIS: A lot of ABDLs notice that the community seems to be exploding in numbers in recent years. Without giving away any corporate secrets, has your customer base grown as well?

CASEY: Definitely. We’ve seen massive growth in the way of new customers each year. I believe that right now, more than ever, there are more ABDLs discovering themselves and figuring out that they can explore this side of themselves. I credit the many resources out there that help people realize that they don’t need to be ashamed of having a fetish or merely a desire to regress.

Early on after buying ABU, I had a call with a retired veteran of the Army that had been deployed in Iraq doing surveillance on strategic targets in a heavily armored vehicle. They would go out on missions for I believe around four days at a time. He said that they didn’t exactly have the ability to stop at the corner store, and they would become vulnerable if they were to leave the inside of the vehicle. The Army had issued his squad diapers for toileting use - specifically tabbed briefs. He said that after wearing and using the diapers, he began to keep them on overnight because they were almost like a security blanket of sorts. He shared with me that when he returned home he did a little research and learned that he did in fact identify as a part of the ABDL community. Unfortunately he also shared that his wife was very upset with this and left him, but he had newly partnered with someone that was very accepting of his desired choice of underwear.

This story, and several others that I can recall, really lead me to believe that this lifestyle, hobby, or whatever it is that you wish to call it, is something that can be discovered at almost any point in life. Something as simple as a smell or possibly even an adverse life event could spark someone’s curiosity towards a bit of googling and discover wearing diapers might be something worthwhile to try.

CWIS: You’ve been a sponsor of some major ABDL events, including TeddyCon, CAPCon, Tomkat, and the West Coast Jungle Gym for several years, and I know ABU has donated prizes for some smaller events around the US. You even sponsored the grand prize in my 2018 photo contest. I know you do the same for events in Europe, as well - Club Diaper, and some others. How much of ABU’s marketing strategy consists of your sponsorship of, and/or placement at, these events?

CASEY: Community involvement and engagement are a huge focus for us. We don’t go to an event with the objective to make money - we are there to build relationships and introduce our products to those that may not have had the opportunity to try them before or they have not tried our full range. I strongly think that a company's leadership team should be visible and engaging with their respective community, and these events are a way to do just that. Even if we can’t be at all of the ABDL events that happen worldwide, even just showing people we care by sponsoring from afar is important to us. Then when we are able to make it to that event in the future, there is a bit of familiarity already. Seeing the 2020 calendar wiped clean due to COVID-19 has been a real bummer for everyone, but when it is safe to do so, we’ll be right back at as many events as we can make it to!

On another note - I am also a photographer and will often offer a hand to help capture the events that we are involved in. Being able to capture people enjoying themselves in their care-free element is really important in my opinion. I’ve acted as an official photographer for TeddyCon, Tomkat, and some other smaller gatherings worldwide.

CWIS: Is COVID-19 posing any challenges with regard to supply chain? How is the Novel Coronavirus affecting us getting our ABDL products?

CASEY: On the manufacturing side: Every year around the Chinese New Year (end of January), production at nearly every factory halts for 2-3 weeks. This year, the diaper factories just didn’t reopen. As COVID-19 spread, the need for supplies to make masks sore through the roof, and a lot of those materials needed to make diapers cross over with those to make masks. We didn’t see supply on those materials start to equalize with demand until nearly the end of March, and then we saw a massive price increase on many raw materials. During the summer was when we started seeing our inventory levels show some semblance of “normal”.

From our warehouse to the customer: In our warehouses, we took very harsh steps to ensure safety of our staff. From having staggering schedules, to not allowing walk-in customers, and even having A and B teams in case someone on one of the teams became sick so we could quarantine appropriately and switch to the other team working. There were a lot of changes for our team, even affecting packing efficiency, sometimes it even became difficult to get every order onto delivery trucks for the day. These factors caused us to suspend our shipping cutoff promise until a closer to the “normal” state returns. Once the package actually hit a truck, the shipping networks are all seeing massive delays as well. Speaking for the USA, our primary shipper is FedEx, but we also use UPS and USPS depending on the situation. Every single one of them has suspended guaranteed shipping dates. It has not been an easy task dealing with each of these challenges, and I suspect others in our industry are facing similar sets of challenges in how ABDL products get into a customer’s hands.

CWIS: What product that you make (or have made) are you proudest of?

CASEY: Without a doubt, PeekABU/Simple Ultra. We brought to market a new technology that allowed us to exceed the 5000ML capacity, and they reigned for many years as the most absorbent diaper in the world at an advertised 6250+ ML capacity. I personally feel like it has been and still is revolutionary to offer a product with unprecedented security and capacity, a product our customers can really wear without worrying about the things we shouldn’t have to like leaks or tapes.

CWIS: Any particular product in your line you wish you could go back in time and not introduce?

CASEY: During our ABU 4th event, I announced a new product called “Pretty Possums”. Not everyone saw it was all in jest and good fun, and somehow, I continue to get genuine requests for when these diapers are expecting release. We very much wish to avoid misleading our customers in such a way and did not intend any hints at a marsupial themed nappy for ABU’s future. Unfortunately, these pampered possums will continue to be very much a parody of pretty pinkish proportions and continue to have no plans for release.

CWIS: I see the @ABUNappies tweets all over Twitter, and I know that you’ve got a deal with Diaper-Minister that make your product line readily available in France, as well. Where else are you, and where would you like to be in the next few years? Where do you see the biggest growth in the ABDL market for diapers/various products?

CASEY: We never really planned to operate in the European market without some form of assistance. There are so many diverse nations, languages, and cultures across the European continent, we were apt to create fantastic partnerships with a few stores and brands, much like with Yannick and his team at Diaper-Minister. With their help, we’re able to extend our products to as many people as we can. There’s a reason why the quote once in our “About Us” page mentions ‘World Domination’ as our goal; we strive to go where any community is willing to support the ABU brand and wish to be there sustainably and responsibly. There are many other great relationships that have allowed us to expand into other countries of the world. Taking a page from Starbucks, it’s always been extremely critical for my team and I to ensure that no matter where you are in the world - when you place an order, you have the same great experience no matter if you’re in Tokyo or London. Quality, customer service, and consistency are huge for us to maintain globally. This is why we very much tend to keep the relationship between ABU and the customer, instead of working with networks of resellers globally. I will tease that we do have a new location preparing to open in another country as we speak, but I can’t give anything away at this moment! In terms of new products we’ve come to realise the unique position and privilege held by ABUniverse and other ABDL brands. For most of my team their idea of a vintage diaper is an Abena M4 or a 3 tabbed Attends - but we now have a new generation of younger ABDLs that have always had access to custom products, designed with them in mind. We want to have fun with them, growing great ideas that have a life beyond being just a diaper, like the PeekABU caps. They’re a great accessory to show others in the know who you are and we think there’ll continue to be great ideas and products that see ABDL brands blend more ‘lifestyle’ items with their core line ups and it’s exciting to see new brands emerging in the space too. Right now we have fulfilment operations located in Australia, Canada, Japan, Great Britain and two within the United States.

CWIS: Tell us a little bit about your team? Who’s behind ABU besides Casey?

CASEY: How much time have you got?! I think I could easily dictate a book on how proud of our team I am. We have a family of really passionate littles from all around the world. Not only does our team work their padded little buts off for ABU, but they’re also involved in their local communities. Whether it’s supporting the local munch or working to bring about a first ABDL Con in their home countries, I’m very proud of everyone’s spirited contributions!

Whenever a customer interacts with us online they’re most likely talking to one of our Customer Service & Communications team members either via social media or directly on ABUCares.com. Collectively this group of dedicated crinklers creates a lot of what I would call the ‘voice’ of ABU. If you encounter a problem, have a question, want to make a suggestion, or wish to reach out and simply say hello, these dedicated waddlers are on the case and ready to help.

ABUniverse’s inner workings are composed of a diverse team with experience gathered from all over the world. From serving their countries to running venues and even holding serious leadership positions in their respective fields, these associates bring all that passion and experience to the table and continue to push us forward and onwards daily. When we’re managing and creating designs for new products or even managing logistics, (You would not believe how much work goes into getting diapers from the factory to your doorstep) some team members work with big brush strokes while others focus on the tiny, beautiful details - both combine into what I believe makes ABUniverse a solid brand we all can be proud of. Their collective diversity, experience, and strength make it all come together.

[Note: We don’t typically use real names as doxxing is a real issue. I’m the sacrificial lamb in this regard.]

CWIS: Two of the complaints that we often hear from ABDLs about their favorite ABDL diapers is that they sometimes go out of stock, and that they sometimes vary in quality - tapes, plastic, etc. - and even in size. I don’t think there’s an ABDL diaper company that hasn’t been affected. What are the challenges, from manufacturing to distribution, that cause this?

CASEY: We sell a lot of diapers. Every time we organize a new production run, we aim bigger and better than before and still, somehow, it’s never big enough. We are continuously humbled by the support from the community and find ourselves blessed to be in such a position. As recent as this last year we’ve set personal goals in keeping key product lines (PeekABU, LittlePawz & Super Dry Kids) available and in stock at all times, even beginning to expand that promise to other products until Covid came along. With production runs in such large sizes and combining it with manufacturing being overseas we do occasionally get unintentional deviations from a previous batch. We own that, and then work to make it right with any unhappy customers and communicate the changes to people as effectively as possible. We will always work to make things right with our customers and have enough confidence in our products to support them right up until you throw them in the trash!

CWIS: Anything that you are working on that you can share with us?

CASEY: As of right now, we’re working on revising a few old favorites. One of the best things about diapers is they come packed with tons of great tech that most people don’t comprehend, and that means we can always improve methods of production and deliver better products than we had previously. We’re working on standardizing sizing across as many of our products as we possibly can. We’re also working to make our sizing both more consistent across all our lines, but also to implement more inclusive sizing options, making our products more available for a broader range of people across the community - extending beyond S/SM/M/L/XL! Both are ultimately long term projects, but they’re hugely important to us in our path towards the ABU of the future.

CASEY: In closing - I think i’ve got the greatest job in the world. It can be immensely stressful at times. Most years it has me travelling globally 3-4 months of the year. I have the privilege of working with people I really care about that I know have my back - and working with ABDL ‘stuff’ all day is a pretty crazy awesome thing! I really appreciate the opportunity to participate in this Q&A. If readers have more questions, feel free to email us at ABUCares@abuniverse.com, contact us on Twitter @ABUDiapers, Facebook @ABUniverse, or come chat with us on Telegram https://t.me/ABUniverseOfficial ! -Casey StromCEO, ABUniverse

Q&A With Joel

2020-09-12T13:15:00.004-07:00

[CWIS'S NOTE] Up today I have a Q&A with Joel. You probably know Joel from Twitter (@thatlittlejoel). He's a 19 year old college baby who's active on the platform and always coming up with fresh new content. Give him a follow after you read his story! Thanks for taking the time to answer the questions, Joel!

Want to do a Q&A for my blog? Email me at abysitter@gmail.com - just put "Q&A" in the subject, and I'll reply with the questions.

Q&A With Joel

Name/Nick: Call me Joel

Age: 19

City/State/Country: Wisconsin, U.S.A

AB/DL/BabyFur/Other? I lean further on the AB side. However, naughty thoughts come around sometimes so slightly DL. I would say 90% AB and 10% DL.

When did you first realize you were ABDL?

So, I was a bedwetter for the better part of my adolescence, from 2 years old, when I was potty trained, to about 14 and 15 years old. During my time of bedwetting, I wore pull ups and it was embarrassing. Whenever I made friends I would have to have the talk about my bedwetting when the eventual sleepover happened. Most times they were sympathetic and I even knew a few people who were also bedwetters. I did not have any traumatic experiences while bedwetting thankfully. Bedwetting was just something embarrassing that lingered a little too long for my liking. When I finally, finally beat being a bedwetter I felt something I was not expecting. I felt myself missing being diapered. Now it did not happen right away. I was happy I was not a bedwetter anymore. I did not have to worry about going to sleepovers and putting on a pull up secretly. But diapers started growing on me. Little bits here and there, diaper commercials, stories online, going to the store and circling the baby aisle. Eventually around 15-16 I fully grew into it. I liked diapers.

What steps did you take to get your diaper 'fix' as a child and/or teen?

I had a steady supply of siblings, people who had youngsters come into our home or people’s houses we went to. Like I said I was a bedwetter for a bit. I had goodnites until I stopped bedwetting. After I stopped bedwetting, I had a few pull ups left that quickly got used. After the goodnites were depleted, I stole pull ups from my sisters who were just beginning potty training. I stole diapers or pull ups from friend's houses. Even though I wanted diapers, I never got diapers that would not fit me outright. I mean they did not totally fit me considering, but I never got diapers or pull ups that were way too small. I do not know why, considering I could have taped them together or just put them in my underwear. Anyway I digress. It was nerve wracking stealing those diapers, obviously, sneaking into a baby’s room is weird enough and then taking diapers I mean if I got caught, which surprisingly I never did, would be devastating. Eventually I was too chicken to steal from my friend's houses. However, what is most probable is my conscious kicked in. Eventually I got a job, coincidentally, as a custodian for a daycare. I mean if you are reading this you should know where this is going, I took diapers. I was lucky enough to have that job for most of highschool but as I grew the diapers stopped fitting. So I boldly bought throw away gift cards from walmart and bought adult diapers from the internet.

Do your parents and/or siblings know about you and diapers? If so, please explain how, and how they reacted?

Oofta I cringe about this, I have gotten caught a few times. The first time was when I was 14. It was winter. I just received a new phone and had been spending an awful amount of time on it. My mother one night asked me what I was doing and I was reading a diaper story on zity.biz. I quickly went out of safari and played dumb saying subway surfers or something. However, I did not realize about browser history. I think you can figure out what happened. Parents confronted me about those stories I was reading. I honestly do not know what I said to defend myself, all I remember was my safari was disabled and I was not able to go into the internet for a while. I was 15/16 when I got caught the second time. I found tumblr and started to find myself on there, I snooped the abdl’s on tumblr, in the beginning staying as an anonymous user for a little bit. As I started to become accustomed to tumblr I made an account and started just re-blogging content and just talking about my day. Nothing really exciting. Soon after, I found the age regression community and started to interact with their user base. I felt like I belonged there. I talked to others around my age and felt as if I could call some of them my friends. My dad found my tumblr. He wanted to go onto my phone for whatever reason and I let him and what do you know a notification popped up while he was on it. So of course he clicked on it and saw my profile and all that jazz. GOD I wanted to die. He talked to me minimally about it just asked what I was doing and whether it was healthy. I said it made me happy. It made me feel as if the world was a less scary place. He left it at that. He thought it was a phase The last and hopefully final time was when I was 16 I was close to turning 17, it was spring. I think what brought about this one, was someone died at our school and then someone committed suicide so the whole school was mourning and just being generally depressed. Now I did not know either of the people well but the emotions of everyone else got to me and I was not doing well emotionally or physically. I do not recall well what brought them to snooping around, all I know was they asked if I should go to therapy and whether the diapers and onesies and pacifier was again healthy or productive for me. I denied that I needed therapy, I was just sad and that those things just helped me cope. My dad looked up online and kinda said to me, “if this is not dangerous for you and if this helps that’s fine, just know as you grow up, how are you going to keep doing this if you have a wife or kids?

Have you dealt with the shame and regret that is the binge/purge cycle? Please explain.

Oh... My... God.. (chandler bing) yes I have. I can tell you it is not productive, you would think after the first time or even the second you would get over it. But NOPE. Each time I purged I regretted it. In the beginning when it was just me, it was not so bad. I threw away a diaper or two and that was that. But as I started going onto social media, started buying more and more stuff it became worse. I deleted tumblr multiple times, I got rid of tons of diapers, threw away onesies galore, it was so unhealthy. When you are flying high it feels like nothing can touch you, but then something in your brain just clicks or someone finds out and the world comes crashing down on you. You feel yourself not expressing yourself, closing yourself off, just being negative or putting on a facade. Now I am not saying ABDL is everything to me, but it is a part of me. When negativity and questions of what ABDL is, you do not know how to answer. How do you answer to someone or to yourself why you tick this way or why you feel the way you do? And sometimes it is just too much and you throw it all away.

For collegebabies/DLs, did this interest affect your college experiences? If so, how?

It does not affect me significantly. Packing and moving is a pain because, “Well, hello, why is there a diaper in your clothes?” is something I do not want to go through. You gotta find ways to diaper up discreetly and throw them away. But, if anything, being at college has given me more freedom. I do not have to think about the print of my onesies, because nobody will question a dino onesie, it may just be my brand or a fun shirt I found at goodwill. I do not have to worry about the crinkle of the diaper because nobody pays attention to that. Nobody knows me, and they do not know I am trying to hide something from them.

How has this fetish affected your social life and/or dating? Married life? Parenting?

Socially not much. I definitely have wanted to hang out and be a part of the ABDL community in person more and more, but it is hard for me to go out and do that. I do not go out much so it is hard for me to find others who share the same interest as that. I am still growing though I still live at home with my parents and I am okay with that but eventually when I am out of college I want to go out and find people who are a part of this community. My current friends do not know nor do they really need to, I do not think it would be productive to tell them. As far as the dating scene goes, I am a single pringle, dating is not really on my mind at the moment. I, definitely, get lonely sometimes and think about how awesome it would be to have someone to share this same interest but it is not something I would actively seek out.

Some experts believe that we become the way we are because of traumas experienced at an early age, including abuse and/or neglect. Do your life experiences bear this out?

Yes and no. I was adopted, however I was adopted at an age where I do not remember it, so honestly maybe in the way back of my head it is subconsciously laying the ABDL foundation. I have had a few moments of hey maybe it was this, my mother had cancer when I was 8 and I had to take care of my younger siblings but it was not something that scarred me. My mom said, I became curious about where I came from and I had an idea, of oh how fun would it be to meet her, but not something I adamantly wanted. You know kids being kids and dumb stuff throughout my life maybe could have triggered it. But honestly in truth I have had a very privileged life! My parents love and care for me, they want me to succeed, and live a healthy and active life. I have twin brother whom I love dearly, five younger siblings, four sisters and another brother, all who I am thankful for. I have grown up with everything I have ever needed and things I have wanted. My life experiences do not really reflect that in the whole scheme of things.

I mean I am a twin, but I do not think it makes a big difference, more of a coincidence. I think maybe if anything how many siblings plays a part and how much responsibility you have helps with ABDL. If you are the oldest or have the most responsibility, you feel obligated to set an example and maybe you just do not want that. You want to be more carefree.

So I tried very hard to not interact with this community until I was 18, I am not going to lie it did not work. I did some dumb things and really I regret it very much. Diaper.Bois is one I found by chance. I read stories from Zity.biz and SoFurry. I found some artwork on youtube and other sites that I cannot recall. I found myself on tumblr and then twitter stalking my favorite people. Honestly the things you can do through the internet are crazy nowadays. My parents had the foresight to take away my internet for a bit so I mean I could not get into trouble for a while. So I guess I was lucky enough to not make bigger mistakes

What % of your sexual activities and/or masturbation incorporate diapers? Has this caused problems for you?

So story time, or not really story more of an anecdote. I made a decision to try and limit and separate abdl from sex. Part of it gave me an excuse if I got caught, like no this is not a sex thing it is a coping thing or something along those lines. It also gave me a way to separate it from pedophilia, which I know a lot of people would think not knowing about abdl. There is a stigma to it and I wanted to try to negate that. I see ABDL for me as an outlet to just let go and feel innocent and sex is not a part of it. Now that does not mean I have not masturbated in a diaper, I have, but I try not to do that as it makes me feel gross after.

If you get into the regression aspect of ABDL please tell us more about that. If you do not,

and you have feelings about being lumped into a fetish involving it, explain how it makes

you feel.

Just the innocence of letting go and letting yourself be free. Sucking on a pacifier and

being content. A comfort item or blankie to hold or wrap yourself with and feeling all warm

inside. Taking pictures and posing in onesies and overalls people telling you that you are cute

and so precious. Playing with toys and creating a world to play in. I mean there are so many

more examples that just make me melt. Just knowing and having something you can escape to is

lovely. I get to experience being a child even though I still really am a child. Life moves too

quickly to grow up and I want to experience moments where I do not have to be an adult.

Don't let yourself be limited by my questions. If you have anything else at all that you

would like to say please feel free to say it here:

I honestly cannot believe I am a part of this community. I have met so many cool people online and I cannot wait to actually meet them in person one day. You get to experience cool things. I never would have imagined working for an ABDL company, and it is all because I love taking pictures. I get to open up about ABDL and share my experiences. I am just so happy to be a part of such a fun and diverse community!

Q&A With Iker Nash

2020-09-07T15:10:00.002-07:00

CWIS'S NOTE] Up today I have a Q&A with Iker Nash! Iker hails from Mexico City. He and I got to meet this past year a CAPCON, and it was great to finally meet!

Want to follow Iker on Twitter? It's @IkerNash! Want to do a Q&A for the blog? Email me!

Q&A With Iker Nash

Name/Nick: Iker Nash
Age: 28
City/State/Country: Mexico City
AB/DL/BabyFur/Other? AB/BabyFur

When did you first realize you were ABDL?

I had always been childish and love cute things, when I had 13 I still love using cartoon underwear and cute socks, I had to admit I was a little bit obsessed with them, I found the abdl community after thanks to a picture of a guy using diapers and that image blow my mind away! Because I found that I can be even more childish using cute printed diapers.

What steps did you take to get your diaper 'fix' as a child and/or teen?

Luckily my little sister was using diapers at that time so I used to take 1 or 2 per week and use them under my undies, then I had to move out to study in another city strangely it was harder for me to use when I was going to college than when I was living with my family.

Have you dealt with the shame and regret that is the binge/purge cycle? Please explain.

I have only do it once, it was at the time that I was going to the university, I started living with my boyfriend as he was also a foreign student.

At that time, I wasn’t involved with the abdl community as everyone seems to live in other countries and I wasn’t too good at English, I really wanted to start using diapers more often and be treates like a little kid so I decided to told my boyfriend about it.

It takes me a really long time to gather the courage to tell him, I was really embarrassed about it, sadly he doesn’t accept that part of myself and as I was really young (19 years old) I really try to change that part of myself but as time has passed I found that I was trying to force myself to be someone I wasn’t.

It takes me many years to come back and be part of the community, I am really grateful for all the brave littles that comes out in Tumblr 10 years ago and all the people that started making blogs, groups and conventions they really inspired me to be able to feel myself and share the joy of been abdl with others.

How has this fetish affected your social life and/or dating? Married life? Parenting?

My life has become so much better as I started doing lots of abdl parties and also play dates with other littles near me, I am so happy to be able to meet so many great people in the community.

Also I have found that been more honest with myself help me to gain lots of confidence and have a good equilibrium in my life, I also have fun hanging out with the colleagues I made in my professional life.

I was 20 when I rediscover the abdl community on Tumblr, I remember the first tumblr I follow as mostly crotch pics of diapers and everyone hiding his faces, but as the time goes by some littles started to take more regression pics and I was amazed to see how they enjoy that part of his life so freely, I remember getting super excited when I see the first pics of Tomkat and Capcon.

It became one of my biggest dreams to go to an abdl convention and be able to enjoy with others, I have reach my dreams this year and it was an awesome experience, so awesome that I decided to do the first abdl camp here in Mexico! It will happen in a few weeks with all the necessary sanitary precautions, wish me the best of lucks as I am planning to do it every year!

If you get into the regression aspect of ABDL please tell us more about that. If you do not, and you have feelings about being lumped into a fetish involving it, explain how it makes you feel.

I love regression a lot, for me it’s a way to learn more about the feelings, specially to feel joy for the small things and also be able to express playfulness and love, it’s a great way to feel free.

Over the last year I have found that I enjoy more when I am able to share a regression with others I love inventing fun games, reading cute books, coloring and playing a lot in the park.

I love meeting new friends you can find me on Instagram, Twitter and Telegram as Iker Nash feel free to say hi anytime!

BE SURE TO FOLLOW IKER ON TWITTER:

@IKERNASH

FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER, TOO:

@ABYSITTER

Diagnosis: Cancer. Surgery: August 25. Mood: Eternally grateful for this community.

2020-08-25T04:00:00.002-07:00

I started blogging at Abysitter.blogspot.com in 2008.

At the time my reason was simple: rumors had been spreading that most of the few websites that ABDLs could congregate were at risk of shutting down, each for various reasons.

Simply put: I didn’t want to lose the connections I had made.

I wanted a space people would remember. One they might eventually find their way back to should the last of our limited online networking opportunities fold at once. So I reserved the domain name I was using for my Aby.com username at the time - Abysitter - and started a Blogger blog, pointing the domain to the blog.

People would remember “Abysitter.com” if all the sites shut down, right?

I started my blog off by writing out a story or two. I didn’t know if anyone else would even read them. But I found that I enjoyed telling the stories. So I kept doing it.

Imagine my excitement when I saw the page view counter jump ahead by two, and realized that someone besides me was reading my blog?

Then, days later, I got my first comment.

Score!!

Eventually members of the ABDL community began submitting pictures to use in my posts.

Later, I would get my first-ever ‘guest entry’ offer - someone else wanted to write for my blog, too!

There was, at that time, no Tumblr, no ABDL Twitter. FetLife wasn’t really being adopted by ABDLs yet. We were compartmentalized on our ABDL sites - nearly all of which seemed to be in danger of running out of funding from month to month - so if you wanted to share more of yourself than you could in a bio or a forum post, there was now a place to do it: Abysitter.com.

And share, many of you did.

By 2011 my blog was getting 150-250 readers every day. It had become a place where members of the community knew they could turn for a variety of ABDL-related content. Stories, pictures, guest entries, commentary, and more.

And I started to discover around that same time that it was more than just the content that people were tuning in for - they were tuning in because they trusted me.

When a debate raged over 18+ on one ABDL website’s forums, one of the site owners asked me to come in and give my opinion.

When people were being taken to task for supporting the Race Car diaper and its pedomarketing strategy, a number of people asked me to publicly take a stand.

When a now-defunct ABDL diaper company wasn’t delivering product it had taken orders for, and wouldn’t even respond to inquiries, consumers emailed me asking for help.

I was no longer just someone sharing stories to entertain people… I’d become, to at least some members of the community, someone they trusted.

Through the years that trust only became more apparent. I began to get messages, via email and texts, from members of the community struggling in their personal lives. Some of these came as random get-this-off-my-chest messages, but there were 3 a.m. texts, and even actual phone calls, from distressed kids dealing with some of the vilest shit our community has to offer.

Controlling diaper daddies threatening blackmail? Check.

Pictures leaked on the internet, or sent to family/friends? Check.

Rape? Check.

Cliques in their city freezing them out? Check. Check. Check.

That some of those calls came to me, who most of the ABDLs I was speaking with had never spoken to and only gotten to know through the reading of blog entries? That meant a lot.

I’ve been asked to appear on talk shows both here in the US and internationally through the years. There aren’t a lot of people trying to find answers to the why are we the way we are? question, so when people both inside the community and outside of it are looking for information, they’d sometimes stumble across my blog, or my Twitter account, and hit me up.

I’ve never done any media appearances, but I’ve linked producers, researchers, and other vanillas to helpful resources several times, like the works of Dr. Rhoda, or some of the ABDL community surveys that have been done as academic assignments more times than I can count.

And for every message I’ve received from someone outside of the community, I probably get a couple dozen from people within it who are struggling with their ABDL side. Some of them are struggling mightily.

I’ve talked to people who created fake accounts just to send me a message and ask questions about this side of themselves. And I’ve talked in depth with some of the most prolific and popular Tumblr and Twitter personalities whose content constantly increases community pride - they seem so confident to all of us, even as they face internal shame, self-doubt, and worse…

So many of us, no matter how confident we appear in this side of ourselves to others, have a real anxiety around our ABDL side. Some of us have guilt or shame - and sometimes it’s intense. The ‘binge/purge’ cycle isn’t a myth - it’s very real, and it affects so many of us.

And in those purge moments, we often ask ourselves why we’re like this.

I’ve been working all these years to find out.

When I put out the ‘Origins of ABDL’ survey in early 2018, over 1,600 of you took it. It was an extensive effort, taking an average of more than 14 minutes to answer, and the answers you gave were sometimes intense. So personal were the stories you shared with me that I often had to stop reading, close my MacBook, and walk away for a bit. Our community has been through some shit, and the fact that so many of you trusted me with such personal accounts of your ABDL lives was not lost on me - not one bit.

At CAPCON 2018 I lead a class discussion on the ‘Origins of ABDL’, discussing the overall results of the survey. That same weekend we celebrated my blog’s millionth page view. (I still remembered how excited I got when I got a second page view in a day like it was yesterday, and now we were at one million!)

I have put a lot of work into this blog over the years. And I put a lot of work into that survey. It paid off that weekend at CAPCON 2018… it was a homecoming of sorts for me. It wasn’t just being invited to lead a class, or even the blog’s view count that did it - it was all of the interactions that I had with people at CAPCON that year.

Someone who’d come to my class told me before the class started that he’d actually flown to Chicago and attended the event because of the class. He was a long-time reader, he said. He told me after the class he hadn’t even known he was talking to me at the time, and only realized when I stood up to lead the discussion.

Another person lurked around me for a bit, and then finally approached me to share with me how one of the entries on the blog had changed the way he thought about himself, and how that thought change had changed his life. He was teary-eyed and choked up, and I won’t lie - by the end of our conversation, so was I.

And, after my class, so many attendees stayed to talk - some for more than 90 minutes. It was one of the most interesting conversations I’ve ever been part of, and the fact that it centered around work that I’d done on my blog - I was on a high that whole weekend.

And all throughout the weekend people came up to me over and over just wanting to share how things they’d read on the blog through the years had meant something to them.

It was one of the most amazing weekends of my life.

THE LUVS BOAT & BUILDING A COMMUNITY

In my former community I struggled to connect with local ABDLs. I was running a popular ABDL blog and being contacted by ABDLs from across the country and around the world, but breaking through the ‘clique’ mentality, especially with the control exerted on others by some of the regional diaper daddies, seemed to be a monumental challenge - so much so that I eventually gave up on meeting locals and stuck to out-of-state visitors to the city as a rule.

In 2016 I left all of that behind, returning to New York and buying a cabin cruiser with the intent of living aboard at least six months out of the year. I was definitely sad to leave a place where so many ABDLs visited every year, and wondered if I’d meet anyone here. I had no idea what was in store for me in my new home…

In addition to experiencing it firsthand I’ve been the recipient of way too many messages of from people around the world who aren’t fitting in within our community over the years. Some admit that they struggle to fit in in vanilla life, as well, and are just looking for tips and advice. Others come from areas where ‘daddies’ (or others) act as ‘gatekeepers’, essentially conspiring to keep outsiders - well, out. Our community has way too much of that, and my friends know I’m still a little bitter about it. If you’ve read my blog over the years you know that I’ve taken several opportunities to rail against ‘cliques’ and praise independent ABDLs.

That’s why I am especially proud that, in the years since I bought the boat, we’ve created a community from scratch: more than 30 ABDLs have visited the ‘Luvs Boat’ since 2016, most of them more than once. Some of them have become ‘regulars’. And I consider all of them my friends.

It all started small enough, with my inviting an ABDL from a local college to visit for the weekend. I must have apologized for the fact that I lived on a boat a hundred times. “No, it’s actually pretty cool,” he told me over and over. And, indeed, we found that being diapered in a floating bedroom wasn’t that much different from being diapered on land...

A second ABDL would visit later that fall, and very excitedly describe how much he thought I should just turn the salon into a big playpen. He was mostly being silly - that wasn’t practical, I told him - but his ideas got my mind working, and by summer 2017 I was planning sitting sessions and ABDL-themed get-togethers.

My first two get-togethers attracted zero people. I’d taken both weekends off for nothing, just a whole bunch of flakes and no-shows. But I didn’t give up, and by weekend #3 nearly everyone who was invited showed: seven ABDLs at once on the boat - more local ABDLs at one time than I’d met in all nine years I’d lived in my old city!

I also tried my hand at being a ‘daddy’ that year. I was loathe for so long to let anyone ever call me that - this means I am ‘daddy age’, right? fuck! - but one little insisted - “let’s do the math on this, Cwis…” - and I reluctantly agreed. And, to my surprise, I found that I love, love, loved taking on that role. I of course stuck with the abysitter handle - and to abysitting, for the most part - but for the first time that year I began to realize that I wanted something mor than just the title of ‘sitter’ or ‘big bro’.

For 2018 I was even more determined to community build - and we began to build experiences, too. The master stateroom became a ‘nursery’ of sorts, complete with a toddler rail, whale-themed crib liner and mobile, and as many oceanic plushies as we could find. I added a toy chest and stocked it with nautical-themed toys and games, later adding gifts from our ‘Luvs Boat’ regulars. I reached out to ABDLs in far-off places who just seemed chill, and responded to a lot of inquiries that spring, as well. We wound up having additional visitors from Florida, Washington, Iowa, and New York City, and made a ton of memories for a lot of people in the process.

The next year would be the year we’d finally take the boat out on the water for the first time as a group. Going out onto the water, where 50+ square miles of lake surface area provided us with a level of privacy we’d never find in the marina, allowed us to pad up and strip down to diapers.

If you’ve seen the pictures of the LuvsBoat out to sea featured in the Luvs Boat video you’re seeing us out in the middle of the lake with other boats almost never in sight. There is something absolutely freeing about just being able to put all of your inhibitions and anxieties aside and just be you.

For me, our cruises completely changed the ‘Luvs Boat’ experience, just as hosting get-togethers on the boat had changed my experience as an ABDL.

Then COVID-19 came in 2020. It somehow spared CAPCON, giving us one amazing event that year - Tyson and I spent an entire week in Chicago and it was magical. We were still headed into planning for boating season days later when it began to become clear that this season would be like none other before.

I’d spent the entire winter stocking up on diapers, adding to the plushie collection, and buying new toys, games, and books - we’d even added a nautical littles-wear ensemble and an ABDL burgee flag! But 2020 would not be the year for the #LuvsBoat. (Or, really, for much else in the ABDL community.) Between quarantine rules and COVID restrictions, having out-of-town guests would be impossible.

I’d been a blogger for many years, regaling interested members of the ABDL community with tales of my pampz-for-pay exploits and babysitting sessions.

But from 2016 on I have been the captain of the ‘Luvs Boat’, offering ABDLs lucky enough to live in the vicinity (or willing to travel) a place to strip down, pad up, and just be themselves out on the water.

And, judging from the nearly 50,000 views on the ‘Luvs Boat’ YouTube video - and messages from dozens of members of the community since it was pubilshed - a place that ABDL dreams are made of.

Between visitors to my former city and attending CAPCON, I’d met dozens of ABDLs through the years.

But creating a community just… hits different.

And forming one that is actually welcoming, filled with nice people who treat new people like they belong? It’s hard to describe how rewarding being a part of that is.

I truly wish every person in our community could have the experiences we’ve been fortunate enough to have.

HEALTH ISSUES

(If you’ve read this far, you’re one of the real ones…)

In June I went to the emergency room after several days of the worst exhaustion and dizziness I have ever experienced turned into severe stomach pain and some other symptoms. They ran a battery of tests before coming back to tell me they had found some kind of a tumor inside my digestive tract.

I had a consultation with a surgeon later that week, and he informed me that the tumor they had found was in an area surrounded by blood vessels and an artery. It was too complicated for the surgery to take place in the city where I live.

He also told me that I had lesions on my liver, as well, and those would need to be tested first to see if they were related to the tumor.

After the liver biopsy results came back I was informed that the tumor in my digestive tract had metastasized to my liver. A consultation with a surgeon in another city specializing in neuroendrocrine cancer was set up. I met with her last month, and she told me that I had been diagnosed with Stage IV carcinoid cancer, and that while it had spread to my digestive tract and liver it had likely originated in another organ. More tests were set up to determine the source.

Carcinoid cancer is rare. Carcinoid cancer that has mestasticized to the liver is rarer, still. And the average age at diagnosis is over 60, making me quite young for this type of cancer. Or, in the words of my oncologist: “very weird. Not unheard of. But very weird.”

The prognosis for my type of cancer is dependent on how far it has spread. In my case, it has already spread a lot. Still, it’s a slow-moving cancer, and there’s no set timeframe in which it could worsen, etc.

There is no ‘cure’, per se, and the only treatment for cancer this advanced is to literally cut it out. So, this Tuesday, if all goes well, that is what they plan to do.

As of right now it looks like the surgery on the tumor could be difficult, but my surgeon seems very positive about that part and says that, while there are certainly risks, she has performed similar surgeries successfully before.

The second area of surgery, though, involves the removal of part of an organ. I am told that it is a major procedure. If things go well, they expect me to be hospitalized for about a week, and in recovery at home for 4 - 6 weeks.

It is unlikely that my life will be quite the same afterward.

That’s if things go well. If they take too little out during surgery the cancer will remain or come back. If they take too much, the rest of my life could be filled with major medical complications. And because they really aren’t able to determine how far the cancer has spread until they actually do the surgery, they sometimes can’t decide whether to even go through with the surgery until they’re already in there…

In cases where the cancer has spread to the point that mine has, it is often deemed inoperable. According to the Carcinoid Cancer Foundation, “older statistics show that approximately one half of patients survive an average of 5 years. Since various types of treatment have been introduced in the past decade patients appear to have an even longer survival and improved quality of life.” The American Cancer Society statistics show a survival rate of 67%, but say those odds are getting better all the time.

Those aren’t great odds - but it could be way, way worse. And they are working to make it better every day.

Still, the surgery itself is considered to be somewhat high-risk because, in addition to the proximity of blood vessels/arteries, something called ‘carcinoid crisis’ can occur with this type of cancer. To really simplify it, this is where your body can’t handle suddenly being ‘fixed’ and essentially sends you into shock. It can be, and often is, fatal. This phenomenon is somewhat rare, because the liver generally helps prevent this. My liver already being cancerous, though, could result in it not doing an adequate job. I’ve been taking injections of a medication that, in addition to decreasing tumor size and slowing the spread of the cancer, should help ready my body for surgery and, hopefully, stave off any ‘crisis’. Still, because of the risks, as well as other risks presented to me by the anesthesiology team, I am more than a little nervous.

I informed my family and friends of my diagnosis almost immediately. Cancer is one of the major risk factors for COVID, and I needed to make sure that my vanilla friends, who had become used to taking over the boat on any weekends my ABDL friends don’t, gave me some space this year.

Then I began the process of notifying some of the ABDLs who are in my life on a constant basis. The ones that I have regular phone calls and FaceTimes with. (Most of them are friends with me on vanilla Facebook, so they already knew).

Over time I added to that little by little, telling former boat visitors (and even some future boat visitors).

Today, in the days before my surgery, I’m sharing the news with everyone.

My family has been supportive beyond belief. They have dropped everything to provide rides and, where COVID rules allow, accompaniment to medical appointments and procedures that seem to take place with alarming regularity. I think I have no fewer than five church congregations praying for me, despite not being particularly religious myself.

Vanilla friends, too, have stepped up so much since my diagnosis. From an old friend from high school and his son coming to have weekly take-out dinners with me on the boat, to a former co-worker getting my groceries and medication for me so I don’t have to go to the store, to a buddy coming to sit with me every few days just to talk…

My marina fam, too, couldn’t be more helpful. They’ve taken on roles: one texts me every few days to see what she can get me at the store… another offered to take care of the flowers that I’ve planted that line the dock, and had already began watering and pruning them weeks ago… and yet another will be the ‘storm checker’, securing the lines before and after any big storms.

All of this I probably should have anticipated. I make it a point to surround myself with nice people.

What has amazed me more than anything, though, is the number of people in this community who have been more supportive than I could ever have anticipated.

‘Luvs Boat’ regulars have been by my side through it all. Michael and Rob have let me come out to swim in their pool regularly - after hours, to cut down on potential COVID exposure - and they’ve fed me more times than I can count. Matt, Patrick, and Nick have masked up and made visits out to the boat, as well - some padded, some not.

But it goes even beyond all of that.

I’m talking frequent check-ins across every social platform I have. I go to sleep feeling good because a little somewhere out there wants to know how my day went, and wake up to messages from community members asking how I’m holding up…

I get multiple messages on Facebook a day, and so many Telegram messages oh my GOD. Sometimes I’m too exhausted to respond right away, but I see them and reply when I can. But boy, do they make me feel good.

To those of you who have been a part of that… thank you.

In addition to daily check-ins, a few people have, in total seriousness, offered to drop everything and come straight to where I am to try to help.

Littles I’ve known for years, and ones I’ve never actually met in person yet, have made very real offers to come to New York.

“I’m not going to let them cath you in the hospital, Cwis,” one friend vowed after asking me to check into visitation rules at the hospital I’ll have the procedure at. “I’ll stand guard at your bedside… diapers only for this patient.”

A longtime friend who’s spent a lot of time with me through the years offered unlimited diaper changes during the weeks after my recovery, as well. “You’re not going to want to do that yourself… and you’ve changed enough of mine...”

And one little friend with a bit of a medical background even offered to cash in airline miles to buy a ticket to help me during the recovery, suggesting that his medical experience could be of service.

“It’s not like we have a lot going on lately,” he told me. “Let me do this for you.”

“You’ve taken care of littles for a long time, Cwis,” someone said on Snapchat. “Now it’s time to let some of us take care of you.”

The idea of people willing to fly here to assist me? I can’t begin to tell you what that kind of stuff means to me…

And were it not for COVID-19 and the need for me to totally quarantine between now and the surgery, you should know that I would have excitedly welcomed a fucking parade of ABDL visitors here already.

Were there no virus, every weekend between my diagnosis and my surgery would have been a #LuvsBoat weekend.

We’d have voyaged to part of the lake we’ve never seen, and done things we haven’t done before - bucket list type shit. Like spend the night diapered out at anchor. Get some incredible padded drone footage. Get Tyson up here with his jet skis for some padded roaring around.

Even on the weekends I’ve been too tired to get out of bed, I would’ve dragged my tired ass into the cuddle cabin and just cuddled, maybe just swapping stories until I fell back asleep.

Nothing would have made me happier.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the reality for 2020. I happened to have been diagnosed with cancer during a time when the disease literally makes you more of a risk for adverse affects of COVID-19.

So, in a way, the kindest thing many of my friends in our community did for me was to not come, this year.

As much as I have missed so many of them.

I can’t wait for this Coronavirus shit to end, because I can’t wait to see so many of you.

Old friends… new fans of the Luvs Boat I look forward to becoming friends in the very near future… so many of you.

Presuming I make it through surgery and they come out with a COVID vaccine, it’s on next year.

#LuvsBoat2021. You heard it here first.

Regardless of the risks on Tuesday, I have real confidence in my doctor, and I fully expect to make it through surgery, recover, and be back to blogging, Tumbling, and tweeting in no time.

If all goes well, it should just be a matter of days. So get those half-done Q&A’s finished… I’ll be coming for them!

But I know people who have gone into surgeries that were probably less risky than this one not really acknowledging the realities of what could occur. People who failed to make it through surgery and, because not making it through was so ‘unexpected’, didn’t have a chance to say goodbye.

So I want you to know that, in the unlikely event that I am not one of the lucky ones where surgery is concerned, I feel so, so fortunate to have been one of the lucky ones where this community is concerned.

Some of us take our community for granted. I am certainly guilty of that at times, myself.

Get diagnosed with a serious illness, however, and you will get a very real sense, very quickly, of how important this community is, both to yourself and to the other people within it who you care about.

For many people in it, this community is as important to us as anyone or anything ‘vanilla’ will ever be. People we’ve met from the ABDL community often comprise some of our closest friends. Our partners. Our ‘families’.

I am definitely one of them. I don’t know where I’d be without it.

And nothing has made me realize that more than this illness.

I have been blogging since 2008. During those years, I’ve lost count of the people who have reached out to let me know how much something they found on the blog means to them.

My stories. Your stories. The e-book. Pictures I’ve taken. Pictures you’ve taken. The photo contest entries. Q & A series questions so many of you have answered. The surveys. The ‘Big Boy Bucket’.

All of it.

Somewhere in the hundreds of blog entries posted over 13 years, some post - whether one of mine or one of yours - meant something significant to someone in the community.

Something I wrote helped a young person on their road to coming to terms with this instinctive need to be diapered.

Something you wrote and contributed to the blog helped someone explain this side of themselves to their partner and may have helped save their relationship.

I’ve heard those exact scenarios. And so many very much like those, over and over...

On top of the content that is publicly available on the blog, I’ve had private communications with many of you about so many important things in your lives, both where this community is concerned and vanilla life as well. Relationships. Academics. Past traumas. Future fears. The information you have trusted me with, and the trust you have put in me overall, continuously amazes me.

No matter what happens on Tuesday, I know, because so many of you have taken the time to let me know, that I’ve made a difference for people in our community.

You should know that I struggle to put into words the difference so many of you have made in mine.

Thank you, each and every one of you, for everything we’ve done together over the years.

They say that in your last seconds your life literally flashes before your eyes. I don’t know if that is true, but if it is I know I will be seeing some of you again in those moments.

Running Abysitter.com, and finding my place in our community, has been one of the greatest privileges of my life.

Hopefully, my life… so far.

Wish me luck, and with any luck I will see you soon...

Love you all,

Cwis

PS: Once again, I fully intend to be able to make a full return to this in the very near future. (In recovery, I’m even hoping to go all out on the WhyABDL.org website - I should have plenty of time to lay in bed and conjure up some content!) I so look forward to my first post-surgery tweet!

But just in case things don’t go that way, know that I have chosen a friend who I’ve asked to take over Abysitter.com, whether it be to continue what we’ve done so far, or even just to maintain it so the information thusfar isn’t lost. He readily agreed. That person will remain unnamed for now, but know that I chose someone who I truly believe cares about our community as much as I do. I trust him - I’d trust him with my life, really. So I am hoping that, should he look to continue what we’ve started, you’ll trust him with your stories, and continue to share them, just as you have with me.

Luvs Boat: Jagzz

2020-08-21T15:44:00.005-07:00

On Wednesday I posted a blog entry about my social distanced, one-at-a-time visitor weekend. Today I have some pictures from my visit with Jagzz. You may know him from Diaper-Bois.com. He's local, little, and ready to mingle... and he visited the boat for some chill time (and brought me some Whales - the little cheesy fish cracker snacks hehe).

WANT TO CONTACT JAGZZ?
CHECK HIM OUT ON DIAPER-BOIS!

CHOMP, CHOMP!

Luvs Boat: PebblePamp

2020-08-19T19:52:00.003-07:00

Because of COVID-19 and my own health issues, we haven't done a lot on the Luvs Boat this year. In fact, short of the gas run in May and a some vanilla-ish visits with a few of the regulars, it's been a very - ahem - dry summer.

I've got some stuff coming up, though, and decided that, if we were ever going to do any more Luvs Boat runs, the time was now. So over a two-day period I had three visitors: PebblePamp, Jagzz, and SexyDiaperJock. Each came separately from one another, for some true social distanced, safe ABDL time.

You may remember PebblePamp from the Luvs Boat last year. At the time he was going by the name 'Sunny', and he posed for some pics that proved to be very popular. He came back for some new stuff this year, and the results are below.

Follow him on Twitter at @PebblePamp, and check out LuvsBoat.com for all of the latest!

After a change into the Neva Ocean diapers,

it was time for some lounging.

The Neva Ocean diapers are awesome!

One very soaked diaper later, and it was time to change into something a little pinker...

PebblePamp is a cool-ass little dude.

Follow him on Twitter:

@pebblepamp

And check out LuvsBoat.com for even more...

Luvs Boat: Gas Run 2020

2020-06-23T07:58:00.000-07:00

Restrictions on boating in New York because of the Coronavirus would make for a late start to the 2020 season. Even once marinas were allowed to put boats in the water, restrictions on overnight stays and people outside immediate families visiting boats would hamper our usual style. Still, in late May two of our Luvs Boat regulars would join me in moving the boat from the winter marina to the summer one. Still, things just didn’t seem the same, and I carted cases of diapers and other supplies to the boat with trepidation - would we even have a season this year?

Gas being so cheap - thanks, COVID-19 - and recent news events suggested that it may be going up in the near future. It was time to gas up! The boat has two 75-gallon fuel tanks - fuel consumption on a boat is actually measured in gallons per hour - and both tanks were very, very low. So on a Monday afternoon in June we’d motor down to the marina I trust to fuel her up, and do just that. Three hundred fifty dollars later - special thanks to Mike and Rob for stepping up with a good portion of that - we were ready for our first real boat ride of 2020.

The ride would involve masks and some distance, at times, and we’d spend the entire time outdoors - no retreating below to the cuddle cabin this time around. We would be padded, of course. But as we’d be passing close by vanilla friends and family on the dock during our run, it had to be less in-your-face than usual. Enter Tykables cargo shorts… big boys near shore, diapered boys for the rest of the cruise, and the ability to easily switch back and forth with ease.

After a cruise of an hour or so we’d head back to the marina and spend some time at the dock. Someone along our route would text me a video of our passage - good thing we were snapped up when we passed! We’d spend time discussing how to be safe and social distance but still, hopefully, have some fun in 2020.

More to come…

WANT TO SEE MORE?

VISIT WHYABDL.ORG/BOAT

THE NEW OFFICIAL HOME

OF THE 'LUVS BOAT' FOR 2020!

Ineffectiveness

2020-06-10T22:52:00.003-07:00

Not going to call anyone out, but it's pretty clear to me that a few people have come into some of the ABDL private groups on Facebook just to stir up some shit this week - on all sides, really. If you've come into the groups to take a stand, why not lose some of the vitriol and try to educate those who don't seem to understand why people are saying Black Lives Matter? Name-calling and insults aren't contributing shit to your argument, so if your entire presence in those conversations consists of you acting horrified at someone else's opinion,.. how very counterproductive of you. Telling people to leave the Facebook groups in disgust isn't improving the community in any way - it's just giving you a feeling of victory if they actually leave. Woo hoo, you won... what, exactly?

Some people I've seen posting this week have suddenly realized that our community isn't all-inclusive. Honey, if that wasn't obvious to you a long time ago, you need to open your eyes. With its cliques and its exclusivity, this community is no different from any other. You think there weren't members who are prejudiced? Count the likes... you can see the prejudice in real time up and down your feed.

One of the private groups on Facebook I belong to has 1,800+ members. Like it or not, its membership is made up of people from all around the globe, and all across the United States, including some of the most backwoods, ignorant parts of it. We are all connected by one thing: diapers. That doesn't mean that every single segment of society isn't otherwise represented here... they are, and it becomes obvious when something like this comes up.

I've seen people on the BLM side, the ALM side, people who haven't taken a side, and even POC talking about leaving that group today, so I had to go there to see what was going down. It was ugly. Namecalling. Insults. People threatening to leave the group. People ordering others to leave the group. People leaving the group. People apparently being kicked out of the group. On and on...

I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE... DON'T LEAVE THE GROUPS. Don't take all your pictures down in a huff. Don't deactivate your Twitter account. Don't give up on the community in a fit of despair because a small number of its members have posted some ignorant shit. Let me open up my inbox so you can see some of the worst corners of the community come alive... a little time with some of the ABDLs who message me, and I think you'll realize that just about everyone in your extended circle is someone who is at least somewhat reasonable... and probably worth trying to help to understand your point of view, if you're up for the challenge.

(I'm sure some of y'all get the same messages.)

Vitriol... anger... insults... name calling... all on full display in the threads in these groups (and on social media in general) this week, and all completely ineffective at actually helping someone learn more about your point of view. Take a deep breath before you reply to someone's post. If you want to say something to someone that is likely to put them on the defense, consider sending them a private message and open up a dialogue.

And seriously... stop with the quitting the community. Be a LEADER... not just by typing some words on social media, but by seeking out those in our community who are excluded from events and other functions, and including them. De-clique your cliques. And stay put in the groups... leaving just shortchanges our community as a whole. If someone's put in the effort to take a diaper pic they're obviously proud of, give it a like - even if they're not the race, age, or body type you're generally looking for on Grindr. Show support on an individual level, person by person, and not just the comments on a post about discrimination.

This week has exposed a whole lot about our community - things I think a POC could probably already have told you a long time ago. People who previously found these groups to be their ABDL/littlespace refuge may want to unfollow them for a while. For everyone else... at least keep it civil. It might not be worth trying to educate Karen in the Fox News comments about why her opinion is outdated and even racist, but if its someone in our community... it just may be worth your time. Stop clutching your pearls and declaring your absolute shock that "those type of people" exist in such an "inclusive community." They've been here the whole time... you just weren't paying attention.

By the way, this isn't the only argument we're going to face... if you think things are bad now, just wait until the lead-up to Election 2020... as much as I think we should all be on the same side, we're not, and things are going to get ugly.

In the meantime, to all of those who've actually taken the time to try to educate our community in a civil way... keep it up. ✊🏾

Luvs Boat Rules & FAQs

2020-06-10T17:35:00.003-07:00

If you've been paying attention to the official Luvs Boat website, you've probably already seen these. But for those who haven't... here are two PDF docs. Click the images to view the "Rules" and "FAQs":

Am I missing anything? Let me know what you think!

Thank You For Your Support...

2020-06-09T06:44:00.002-07:00

I want to thank the people who hit up the PayPal and CashApp following my mailing list blast. I'll be reaching out to those I haven't yet, and updating the website to reflect the updated supporter list.

For anyone who's interested in helping out, or checking out the community members who have, click the baby bottles...

Our community rocks.

NEW! Amazon Wish List & Support - Help Needed!

2020-06-05T13:01:00.001-07:00

TO MY LOYAL,

LONG-TIME BLOG READERS...

ANY HELP YOU CAN PROVIDE

IS APPRECIATED!

Ahoy!

I’m writing today to my hard-core supporters. My readers who have been with me since 2008. Those who have done the Q&As, entered my photo contests, taken (and learned more about our lifestyle from) the #WhyABDL Survey, visited the Luvs Boat, and more.

Not gonna lie - being in a ‘high risk’ category for COVID-19, and living in New York state, where cases virtually exploded over the last few months, I’ve been thinking a lot about what would happen if I was suddenly unable to keep blogging. I’ve gotten someone I’m very close with in the community to agree to take over the blog if something were to happen to me and I couldn't continue it, and I believe he’ll do a fantastic job (if that day over comes). In the meantime I’ve turned down a few freelance gigs this summer, and am hoping to dedicate as much time as I can to updates to the site, including finishing some of the stuff I’ve started but haven’t had a chance to complete over the years.

With social distancing in full effect, I expect to have a lot more time to work on the site this summer. I picture myself spending lazy, padded afternoons on the boat, writing like crazy, updating the site. You’ll see several new sections, an expansion of the survey data, a few stories, and maybe even a contest of some sort as well.

Today I’m writing to the folks who’d truly miss me if my blog went away. If you're just an occasion reader, or you tune in just for the contests, or you can't even remember why you subscribed to this list in the first place, you can stop reading now. For everyone else...

I’m writing today to ask my loyal blog readers and site contributors to consider helping out, if you can. I’ve had so many people hit me up asking if I do an OnlyFans or something of the like, and while I don’t - I’ve always believed in creating content for free, and nobody’d want to see me shaking my ass on an OnlyFans anyway - help of any kind is welcome - and sorely needed.

I fully understand that times are hard for people other than me, and many aren't in a position to be able to help. If you are, though, and the content I put out means enough to you to want to, here ere are a few ways you can contribute...

PAYPAL & CASHAPP

Every dollar donated is one less dollar I have to make through freelancing, freeing up my time to work on stuff for the blog. For those who’ve been with me since I started blogging in 2008 - or even more recent fans who are in a position to help out - know that any help I receive is appreciated. If you’d like to make a donation through PayPal click here: www.paypal.me/cwis. You can also donate with CashApp - my username is $WhyABDL. And, as always, visit whyABDL.org/supporters for opportunities and recognition.

PAYPAL.ME/CWIS | CASH.APP/WHYABDL

AMAZON WISHLIST - NEW!

I’ve avoided putting together an Amazon Wish List for a long time, but I have finally jumped on the bandwagon. I've actually had a lot of people ask if I have one over the years... hopefully a few of those people read this mailing list hehe. The list has nautical plushies and other supplies for the Luvs Boat, and diapers for the stash. If you’re down to send a gift, email me with the order info and I’ll be sure you get credit on the website. I’ll be adding to it over time. Check it out, even if you can't afford to help out... you'll see some of this stuff eventually on the Luvs Boat boat page.

AMAZON WISH LIST

OTHER TYPES OF CONTRIBUTIONS

As always, I am always looking for writers, graphic artists, and ABDL models willing to contribute content for the site. Visit the website at whyABDL.org or abysitter.com and check out all of the new content. If you can think of something you’d like to contribute, hit me up. Want to do a Q&A? Same.

EMAIL ME

If you can afford to make a donation, regardless of the amount, your help is appreciated. I fully understand that many cannot. Either way, thank you for your support, and your readership - it’s what’s kept me, and my blog, going for these past 12 years.

Be safe, and be well,

Cwis
Abysitter.com
Twitter: @abysitter
Tumblr: @abysitter
Instagram: @luvsboat

Please... STAY HOME.

2020-05-08T19:29:00.003-07:00

I've been super slow to respond to people, sick over the last week. Does not appear to be COVID-19, thankfully... still sucks, was stuck in bed for 3 days. Padded, yay - but still.

I'll be getting back to people soon. In the meantime, enjoy a graphic featuring old favorite Z... and

S T A Y H O M E ! ! !

The one silver lining to COVID-19 is that ABDLs seem to have a shit ton of extra time to create adorable content! Keep it coming! And if anyone is really bored and wants to do a Q&A... mail me.

Abysitter: Tales From the Crib

Fifty!!!

Q&A With Florian/Cathbaby

Q&A with Florian/Cathbaby

Twitter... my thoughts/my history...

Cancer Update Fall 2022

Twitter Photo Contest - Updates!

TWITTER PHOTO CONTEST SUMMER 2022

Updates Spring 2022

Updates - Spring 2022

LUVS BOAT

ROAD TRIPS

CANCER

CAPCON, TEDDYCON, ETC.

SUMMER ROAD TRIPS

FINALLY… FRANCE

Scenes from the Road Trip

SCENES FROM THE ROAD TRIP!

whyABDL.org/miniroadtrip

Who remembers?

Who remembers?

Some 2021 Updates...

Twitter Popup Contest

Q&A With LittleBoyJakey

Q&A With JohnnyPup

Q&A With Johnnypup

Spotlight: Casey Strom & ABUniverse

Q&A With Joel

Q&A With Iker Nash

Q&A With Iker Nash

Diagnosis: Cancer. Surgery: August 25. Mood: Eternally grateful for this community.

THE LUVS BOAT & BUILDING A COMMUNITY

HEALTH ISSUES

Cwis

Luvs Boat: Jagzz

WANT TO CONTACT JAGZZ?CHECK HIM OUT ON DIAPER-BOIS!

Luvs Boat: PebblePamp

Luvs Boat: Gas Run 2020

Ineffectiveness

Luvs Boat Rules & FAQs

Thank You For Your Support...

NEW! Amazon Wish List & Support - Help Needed!

Please... STAY HOME.

WANT TO CONTACT JAGZZ?
CHECK HIM OUT ON DIAPER-BOIS!