Abysmally Mine

My Bryan Adams

mridu.shadow@gmail.com (Freelancer) — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 15:44:00 +0000

You want to break my head with your hand

and i wanna wrap you in my arms

You say i was never meant for you

And yet, you slip and fall for my charms.

I love you in ways you do not know

And you hate me for my guts

I know you love me but wouldn't say

No matter inside how much it hurts

The world watches as we fight

And a storm brews in the heavens

Time slows down every moment you frown

I am left searching for plans.

You have always been my Bryan Adams

and i have always been imperfect

Keep forgiving me for this love

Coz love's the only thing that's left.

I heart you

this one's for you Maddy

Freedom

mridu.shadow@gmail.com (Freelancer) — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 14:56:00 +0000

I live a dream that was dreamt in love

Love of freedom to fly free above

Above restriction and having the control

Control over my breath, my body, my soul

Soul that urges me to carry on
On towards the endless road traversed by none

None to listen to and none to order

Order that eludes my wandering soul farther

Farther and further to the place it seems

Seems like reality intertwined with my dreams

Dreams that i once dreamt in love

Love of freedom to fly free above

P.S| picture from Leslie's Blog

(2) Strike two

mridu.shadow@gmail.com (Freelancer) — Sat, 05 Feb 2011 18:27:00 +0000

a dear diary post

Yes am stumped. How can that happen? Two days in a row? The same girl?

Ordinarily i wouldn’t have thought about it or given a damn. But i am strangely attracted to her. Her scent, her walk, her smile. Yes her scent. The whiff of air that blew smack into my face and jumbled the tiny wires in my brain. Her smile. And this time i could have sworn it was for me. Even after the initial ‘making-a-fool-of-myself’ stuff, she did the same thing. Smiled. Those lips parted and the world shone around me as thunder jolted through my every spine.

The universe works in mysterious ways. My foot! Then again, lightning doesn’t strike at a place twice. But it did. At me. Left me with a severe tingling sensation as i could smell the self-pity of my armpits. Great! Now even my own body thinks i am an ass! Is she the same girl? Hell yes, how many girls actually smile at me and wont i even remember the face of the girl that actually did a day ago!

My mind kept replaying those moments in ultra slow motion the entire day. Her eyes scanned the horizon as if yearning to find a lost buried treasure. I could see her eyes flit here and there, lost in thought as a slow frown started to caress her lips. And then our eyes met. While i was robotised, thanks to the failure of my reflex actions to hide out of view, i saw the fastest transformation of a frown to a smile. She looked coy. Well that’s what i think, now that am safe.

I stood there for as long as possible before running to the class only to be told to stand outside for being late. Why is she doing this to me?

What am i supposed to do, you stupid diary. Talk to me!

WheN aLL HopE FadES

mridu.shadow@gmail.com (Freelancer) — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 14:44:00 +0000

When the winds of love slowly die down

The path to me is uncertain ahead.

The fate of us now rests with me

I won’t give up. Not today.

When the doubts in your mind grow too much

And the faith in me lies in shadows

The flame of my heart will light the way

And crush the demon that follows.

When each step you take grow harder

And you don’t have the strength to carry on

Whisper my name, in your dreams

I will deliver you to the dawn.

When all hope fades and you stumble

And the world left behind is full of pain

Trust your love in me, my love

And tomorrow will be better again.

First Glance

mridu.shadow@gmail.com (Freelancer) — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 16:25:00 +0000

a 'dear diary' post

Never in my wildest dreams, never to the power infinity. And then that never 'thingy' got kicked out of orbit as she walked by.

First glance. Dressed in tight jeans and a top, she looked like everyone. Her flowing hair masked her face as she walked across the road. She hadn't seen me yet. Infact nobody ever sees me. Twice. Girls like her are not meant for guys like me. Well that's the universal rule that i have come to follow and understand. Moreover love was not something i was ready to experiment with. Seen my elder sister come home drunk, weepy eyed only to thrash the hell out of me as if i was the one to play football with her heart. And when she is sober, i have to mend those broken pieces of hers by giving her hope. God is gonna burn me to smithereens. So long story short, LOVE? na na.

And then she walked by as she made her way to the university. Even if i was an flying dragon, she wouldnt have noticed me. But she did. By God, she did. A flick of her head and her kajal-laden eyes met mine. And for an eternity of a minute, my heart raced with triple doses of LSD, hashish or whatever frigging drugs available to make you do that. I stood there rooted, not even able to reply back to the smile she gave. The sunrays bounced of the stud in her nose and all i could do was stand there as if i was tased.

Hell i was tased. With that 1000 watt smile of hers. But it was too late. She ran towards the building. She didnt turn back. Not once to look at the poor soul who was out of breath. Did i miss the moment?

Oh bleh!

mridu.shadow@gmail.com (Freelancer) — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 11:36:00 +0000

Lets talk about cows and goats.
And why should i do that?

Bleh!
I open this blog and all i see is poems, i scroll down and more poems, ooooh yessh, a tiny rant in between, but basically who the fuck-cares? So today we talk about resolutions. Yes, yes new year resolutions that i fail to keep every single bloody time.

No, chuck that too... People, now thats an interesting topic. the way people look from the outside is more or less that way in the inside...ofcourse there are exceptions if you are offended. You have this wonderful set of friends, until one of them bitches about you while he/she is drunk. More disturbing is that when they are sober and yet they manage to stab you *chak chak chak*

So what do you do? Move on? Lash out? Weep and promise retialiation? Emotional atyachar? Complain to their parents? Hell no, grow up! If you are too old to blog and read other's blog and learn abusive languages, you are old enough to have learnt that people are the worse animals ever. Never expect from people, no matter how close they are. Give your best and expect for the worst. After all humans are humans. they are prone to fuck up. By that time, you just have to learn to see if its intentional or otherwise.

With time you will be wiser and so will they be. For better or for worse, you are surrounded by people.

Adios

Chasing Dreams

mridu.shadow@gmail.com (Freelancer) — Thu, 30 Dec 2010 17:36:00 +0000

And the sun goes down for the last time

The night is all that's left

I have been chasing butterflies my whole life

And now i am out of breath

My wishes go on and on

But the time seems to be running out

I have been chasing freedom for some time now

And yet it eludes me throughout

Tangled with wonder i live

Let it go? Should i?

I have been chasing my heart all this time

Yet am no more a kid tonight

The dawn arises for the first time

And the new year tingles of hope

I have been chasing my dreams in my dreams

Its time i live it up....

Hush, my Dear

mridu.shadow@gmail.com (Freelancer) — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 18:47:00 +0000

You can kill me with your words
But you chose silence instead
I thought i could withstand all
By my own tears i was betrayed

The mistakes i made grew too much
Now words are left unsaid
The cold war rages and the angels fall
The road to bliss is hazy ahead

Why so angry, oh my love
when beneath your love's roaring ablaze
Take me back with open arms
My heart still beats in your rage

You cry yourself to sleep at night
And i sleep with dreams to fear
I know the words you wouldn't speak
Just smile, hush... my dear!

dedicated to the love of my life...
'i am sorry'

Full Moon

mridu.shadow@gmail.com (Freelancer) — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 11:03:00 +0000

Forgotten, yet she rose

Undying for her purpose

Long was her wait

Left behind by fate

Month long she hid

Out tonight she leaped

Only the night remains

Nested within her grace

cross-pasted to 'Acrostic Only'

Iphone vs BlackBerry - Touchscreen or buttons?

mridu.shadow@gmail.com (Freelancer) — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 22:54:00 +0000

Now, NothingMan posted this topic on his last post. And i thought, why not write something about it...its been a long time since i wrote anything but crap!! Beware though, i am not here to nurse your sentiments. some of the next few lines may contain disgusting and lewd lines...read at your own sufferings

Iphone vs BB

THIS IS FL's opinion. You are entitled to yours.

Hell BLACKBERRY anytime!!!

because??? (you are allowed to ask why!)

#1. its the name!! Now both Apple and BlackBerry are fruits!! But i have been hearing the name apple (the fruit) ever since i joined school. BB on the other hand first reached my years when i was a teen and spent most of my days showing off and flirting! BB was something new, a word that was rare...that carried honor and what not. (please keep in mind you are reading bout how FL's mind worked when he was a teen)

#2. the reputation
Apple was always known for its trademark music product, the iPod. Nothing could beat that. But then a BB phone arrived. And it was not for the masses. It was high-end, business-class and pretty lucrative. I remember when i was in 10th, i forced my dad to buy a phone for himself. Told him bout BB. And the shopkeeper had no idea what BB was!!

#3. the styling
hell, look at that!!! never saw a qwerty keypad in a mobile before and it just blew me away!! if you don't hold it in your hands, you won't know what am talking about. One thing i dislike bout the iPhone is that it looks same as iPod touch!!! And with names like CURVE, STORM, BOLD, TOUR and JAVELIN.....BB is a must-have.

#4. the popularity
BB is owned by more than half of the celebrity's of the world. Watching all those influential people hold a BB makes you feel proud to be a part of the BB family.

#5. BBM
the greatest and by far the bestest thing in the world of applications. BBM or the BlackBerry Messenger. It lets you connect with all the people in this world who owns a BB. Now that's something you will definitely love. IPhone has launched a similar application which allows them to video chat with other iPhone users. The con is that its not free!

#6. The body
touch or press??? no matter how much we love to touch or feel the body, i know most of you love to press more!! (buttons or otherwise). The QWERTY keypad will make you wanna press them without complaining back!!

I own a BB. A BlackBerry Curve 8520. And i love it!! A BB is every guy's toy.
Buy and iPOd and carry a BB

And if you, for a second, thought that i would actually give you the specifications or compare the two in terms of performance and what-not, sorry to say, you have to refer to Google.

Even if...

mridu.shadow@gmail.com (Freelancer) — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 20:42:00 +0000

Even if you are far and alone,

You and me still can make it our home...

Just take the leap of faith,

to catch you in my arms, i still wait...

If you feel a hint of fear,

rewind our memories, my dear.

The laughter and the tears we shed,

its the magic we create.

And i know its scary tonight

the heart just doesn't feel so right

While with hope you pray,

baby am just a phone call away....

Ghosts of past churns the blood

and every step towards me seem hard.

Even if the breathe starts dwindling

Just keep the candle of love burning.

Hold on to the silent vows

Unsaid, yet the heart knows...

Everything's gonna be alright

The dark will make way for the light

LoVe at first sight

mridu.shadow@gmail.com (Freelancer) — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 18:27:00 +0000

Love struck since we met

My heart's sun never did set

Just you, me and fate

One UP!

mridu.shadow@gmail.com (Freelancer) — Fri, 30 Apr 2010 13:32:00 +0000

Happy birthday blog! Finally after 365 long, excruciating days you turned one! Am so happy for you. You have tolerated a lot this past year. From being stripped of your old skin to new templates only to be stripped off again. Phew! it would make any blog angry. But see, you got awards too honey! Am not exactly sure whether you received it or was it me, but hey! its stamped on you, ain't it?? Oh what will i do without you? I know i have been negligent at times, left you alone for quite a long time, repeatedly. Hugged you just bout 47 times this year. But baby, its the love that matters. See i flaunt you around me and people comment on you all the time ! Yes i know i haven't kept you safe forever! spammers nearly raped you, but its in the past now baby.

What?? you are jealous of my other blog?? Hon, she's your sis! You should be more understanding, you are elder! About 50 people follow you all the time. No, you aren't spied upon...they are just your fans. C'mon cheer up honeybunch! yea ok, i changed your name once. No you ain't abysmal as the name says. Its your inner beauty that matters!

Alright i admit i upload pics of hotties in you. But sweetheart, can't you see, they mean nothing to me....you are all i need and am with you today. Today you turned one, and hopefully a little more matured.
Do not forget, you are Freelancer's baby. A toast in your name for many many more birthdays to come

Love you

P.S| thanx folks for passing through my blog, for staying back behind, for being a part of it. There are awards for all. I know its late. Just wait a few more days. My other blog's turning one too. Keep reading!

Go Bananas!

mridu.shadow@gmail.com (Freelancer) — Tue, 27 Apr 2010 07:57:00 +0000

Gone are those heydays

Oh i am going nuts these days

Blandly i picked up my notes

And started to look for vulgar jokes

Newton's theorem stared back at me

All at once i turned to flee

No more exams i wished to write

All month long i died and died

Sanity....when will you return to me?

P.S|cross-posted to
Acrostic Only

Newspapers - has the mighty fallen?

mridu.shadow@gmail.com (Freelancer) — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 12:26:00 +0000

With the world wide web in our fingertips today, the once mighty daily newspaper powerhouses faces stiff competition. In this 21st century, where the world waits for no one, people do not have the luxury of sitting on the porch and read newspapers from front to back. Gone are the days when we used to read or rather watched our dad read the newspaper on the front lawn with up cup of tea in his hand! Those days can only be revisited in those classic hollywood movies where theses scenes have been stereotyped for all eternity. In this electronic age, a beep on the mobile or a few seconds on the internet delivers us all the news we need from anywhere in the world. Oh i know! I brought the BlackBerry for exactly the same reason. Little did i know it would cost me daily gprs charge!

Anyways, in most rural and urban areas, newspapers still dominate as the bringer of world news. With newspapers being printed in thousands of languages, people living in even the most remote places today are connected to the world. Is Honolulu remote?? Indeed newspapers have brought the world much closer.

Though in this digital age, cable television and internet provide with the swiftest news possible, majority of the people still depend on the morning newspaper to start their day. I remember my childhood days when dad used to force me to read the editor's section atleast when i was only interested in the sports page and the comics section! Though newspapers today may not enjoy the success they achieved about a decade ago, powerful and distinguished distribution publications like 'The SUN' and 'The New York Times' are still going strong and probably will for another two-three decades.

Newspapers will survive. A gut feeling mostly! The next generation will still read them as i did. One thing i can vouch for is that i will be one of them....still reading...still being motivated and inspired.

Inhumanity

mridu.shadow@gmail.com (Freelancer) — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 10:19:00 +0000

Incessant downpour of tears

None of us remembers

Hatred consumes our soul

Undeterred we move on

Man changed the world

Appreciation of life's gone

Never-ending cruelty grows

Indeed mankind is lost

The future seems bleak

YOU are in it!

P.S|cross-posted to ~~Acrostic Only~~

DIL do Hockey ko! Ghanta!!!

mridu.shadow@gmail.com (Freelancer) — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 21:05:00 +0000

India is officially out of the World Cup!

Thank Gawd! The way they were annihilated by Australia and Spain made me remember Saeed Anwar's bashing of Indian bowlers during his highest knock run. Its Indians who get bashed....nearly all the time! 'Dil do hockey ko'...*sigh*
seriously?? INDIA??? who the heck expected them to do something better than go to the next round? Now i love my country and i cheered all the same. But c'mon! India qualified for the darned WC just coz its the host!!

And now back to their pretty little homes! Once they were world beaters, once they were champs! Once there was even an PHL (premier hockey league). I am sad and depressed! National game! My foot! Better go back to cricket and IPL.

Lack of interest in the game by spectators really hurts the sentiments of players. No good training facilities either. Fucking low pay-scale! No sponsors! Its surprising that India is still managing to buy their hockey sticks! More people watched 'Rahul ka Swayamvar' today than the do-or-die match.

I guess this is the death of a great sport. Tomorrow the media will be upon them like hawks!
R.I.P

My SurVival

mridu.shadow@gmail.com (Freelancer) — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 16:06:00 +0000

My snippets of life

Youth lost in strife

Shards of my past

Under my master's eyes

Raped of my teenage

Violence mired with lies

I survive to dream

Vividly of a day

Another future, another life

Lies in my wait.

# cross-posted to ~~Acrostic Only~~

Together We Stand

mridu.shadow@gmail.com (Freelancer) — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 10:43:00 +0000

Time when turned bleak
Oaths sworn to upkeep
Greater good prevailed over
Ending tyranny forever
The Three Musketeers rose
Hand in hand, unopposed
Each on horseback
Rode to battle unafraid.

Will to fight back
Earned them respect

Separated, they were small
Together they stood tall
'All for One' whispered
No mortal they feared
Doomed, the knights reared!

P.S| cross-posted to ~~Acrostic Only~~

When MRIDZY met MADDY

mridu.shadow@gmail.com (Freelancer) — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 10:31:00 +0000

I met you in school

You thought i was cool

And when i fell for your friend

You acted as if it wasn't the end

And before i knew

I fell in love with you

Finally you said yes!

You simplified my heart's mess..

Little did we know...

We just went with the flow

Miscalls and texts followed

and to LOVE, we bowed.

Its been more than 4 years now

You still make me go WOW,

Though every often we fight

We charm each other by night...

You are jealous of my friends :)

I admit its not strange -

You growl and you pout

and i laugh out loud.

You throw your vocabulary at me

I wait to see how angry you can be

You shout at the top of your voice

I stay silent, i have no choice...

You whack me in the head

and then you run away afraid.

I chase after you...

Baby, you know that's true.

And then you want to break-up

I go like, 'what the fuck!'

You say, 'go to hell, Mridu'

I say 'baby, not without you'

You keep saying, 'i hate you'

I smile coz its nothing new

You purr 'i love you toh'

I say 'bebo, i know'

You try to kiss my cheeks

I turn to meet our lips :P

We smooch, we make out

You say, 'ssssshh...not so loud'

'We can never be apart jaan. Not today, not ever'

If only you knew

mridu.shadow@gmail.com (Freelancer) — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 12:55:00 +0000

If only you knew it was fate
there is still time, its not too late
Just close your eyes and watch the signs
waiting for you in love-laced binds, i still wait

I stood there and you never knew
we crossed paths and all the sparks flew
If only you knew where to look
I lay hanging in your heart's hook...baby,its true.

As i walk around in the rain
Tears dissolve masking the pain
I smile as if everything's fine
Even dreams of making you mine drowned in vain

P.S| This type of poetry is called 'the Florette'

it consists of two or more 4-line stanzas.

Rhyme scheme: a,a,b,a 
Meter: 8,8,8,12

Line #4 requires an internal rhyme scheme that rhymes the eighth syllable with 
the end of line #3, and continues to add on four more syllables than the other lines so that the 
fourth line ends rhyming with lines #1 and #2.

Death in Winter Night

mridu.shadow@gmail.com (Freelancer) — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 13:21:00 +0000

There she bid goodbye

Here my heart slumped to a halt

Death in Winter Night

ComPaSSion

mridu.shadow@gmail.com (Freelancer) — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 12:38:00 +0000

prompt #Humanity

Cinders of warmth
Oscillates in heart...
My lips, sealed
Pain still unhealed.
And you said,
Silently...unafraid..
'Son, its true...
I forgive you'
Oblivious... she cried.
Nearby, i died.

P.S| cross-posted to Acrostic Only

SuMMer RaiN

mridu.shadow@gmail.com (Freelancer) — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 18:58:00 +0000

Sweltering heat waves

Unrelenting summer days

Mistakes of MAN

Magnifies the pain

Echoes of prayers

Reaches God’s ears.

Raindrops that fall

And angers dissolve

Intoxicating earth’s smell

Never-ending CYCLE

P.S| cross-posted to Acrostic Only

Don't divide my country please! not again!

mridu.shadow@gmail.com (Freelancer) — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 10:40:00 +0000

Telangana!
What the bloody fuck???
Somebody tell me what do some people think of accomplishing?? Another frigging state! When i was in school, we all used to memorise by heart that there were 25 states. Now there's 28.... and now please not-anymore!

Ever since the day i got into the train to Guwahati, the Telangana matter cropped up in every newspaper and news channel. Where are all the other news?? A sovereign state! Yea yea! The darned ULFA's have been killing innocents in the name of sacrifice for their demands of a sovereign ASSAM! They went one step higher. They want a separate COUNTRY! What the fuck do they think they will survive on?? Petroleum?? Tea?? I rang up my friends studying in Sikkim Manipal and asked 'bout their vacations. No one was sure coz there was a strike going on in Sikkim. Some shitheads want a separate state called Gorkha Land! What's bloody wrong being a part of Sikkim? Looks like Hyderabad will be the capital city of Telangana if another division do occur. hehe...it will be fun to ask Esther from which state she belongs :P Rofl

I have been thinking....hmmm....even we do have a patch of land behind my house in Chennai. With a help of a few supporters even we can make a protest for a new state...'Freelancer's Joint'...eh??

I sincerely hope...they let INDIA be INDIA...without anymore partitions.... AND someone please make Rahul Gandhi P.M... He atleast is the voice of Youth... BANI, JOSE are you listening??? Go take your MTV Voice of Youngistan to them :)

Until tomorrow, we still have 28 states :)