Academic Sexuality

Addendum, and New EF ad

noreply@blogger.com (Ariane) — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 20:20:00 +0000

One last gush about the Gigi, literally: I actually managed, in a shocking turn of events (well, I was shocked!), to ejaculate. I'm rather pleased by this, as is my partner - it's partly his fault, after all, since he was verbally coaxing me into an orgasm at the time.

This despite the fact that I'm sick with what is either a really nasty head cold, or the beginnings of the flu.

In other news, I changed the EF ad on the blog. It's at least a little neat, right? It has my four favorites of the small selection of toys I've reviewed. The top one is the most recent (Gigi); the rest are other favorites, including the lube I adore, and would adore even more if it was all natural. If you click on them you'll be taken to the particular item's page on EdenFantasys' website, and if you click on the "Reviews" tab you'll be able to see mine!

And hey, if you happen to buy something while you're there, all to the better!

Readers? (also, sex-related things and Florida)

noreply@blogger.com (Ariane) — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 15:59:00 +0000

What's this? There are readers? Ooer.

(Essin'Em even commented, but see below for why I was too silly/busy to OK it for publishing until now, oops!)

In between receiving the Gigi and my trip to Florida (ugh, planes!), I was able to try said toy (sorry, Pleasure Object *g*) out a few times, once with the SO "coaching" me by phone. Long-distance sucks, but just hearing his voice saying something as (theoretically) innocuous as "I love you" is enough to send a little thrill down my spine.

You can imagine how the words "Rub my clit with it, slave" make me react. I swear I could "hear" his eyes lighting up when I said "five functions and ten speeds for each one" in response to "tell me what it does."

Yes, Essin'Em, I definitely have a different opinion of the Gigi's size now that I've tried it. For something that small, it really, REALLY hits the g-spot. My one complaint/whinge about its actual functioning is that it has this irritating tendency to randomly shut off. This only happens when I'm nearing an orgasm and when it's inside of me, of course. I keep poking at it to see what I'm doing to turn it off - I know I'm not accidentally hitting the control pad, but I'm not sure what does it. Of course, it doesn't happen when I'm just holding the Gigi. Clearly LELO makes sentient toys and it wants to tease me!

Florida was fun; I actually have a smidgen of a tan, which will probably fade in the next day or two. I relived my childhood, since my family dragged me off to Disney World, which was more fun than I thought it would be (the long drive from my parents' place to Orlando was not so fun, since their car is small and I was stuck in the back seat). My elderly great aunt and uncle are down from Queens and staying at my aunt's house, and so I spent an afternoon with that part of the family.

I don't "hope I'll never get old" or anything, but it's difficult watching my family bicker over the pair of them - mom and her sister have guardianship, and the entire family fights over every goddamn decision, including whether to send them to a nursing home, whether to visit on day x or y, who's calling which doctor/insurance company, what restaurant to go to (my great-uncle is particularly determined to make us all crazy; my aunt's husband is particularly determined to be selfish and want it all HIS way), etc etc etc. Talk of the situation inundates nearly my every interaction with my family, and my mother's every interaction with...everyone she knows. Also waiters. Also clerks. Etc.

Florida was fun and I love my family but I am really, really happy to be safely ensconced back in my little dorm, where I'm only reachable by cellphone. I can plead homework, a trip to the bathroom, or some other excuse when someone really gets going on the subject.

I can't imagine how stressed out my mother is, but sometimes I just can't take hearing about it - like when mom had a two-hour conversation with her best friend (my aunt-by-friendship), her friend's cousins, my dad and I, over dessert. I actually got up and cleared the table, washed things, cleaned up the kitchen, etc, because I was going nuts and wanted something to do other than listen to my mother give extended voice to her frustrations for the 5th time that day.

I think I may be spoiled forever!

noreply@blogger.com (Ariane) — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 21:03:00 +0000

The LELO Gigi arrived today, and I may just be forever spoiled. THIS is how sex toys (pardon me, pleasure objects) should be. The box is suitable for a gift - it resembles nothing so much (once you take off the outer cardboard box) as an oversized jewelry box. A hard plastic frame serves to keep the Gigi in place, and underneath that are the charger, satin pouch (not padded, sadly) and warranty/user guide.

It comes with a one year warranty - yes, really. The user manual has illustrations to show the various parts of the Gigi, and instructions on how to charge, use, and troubleshoot. While English is my native tongue, the warranty and manual have five languages covered: English, German, French, Spanish and the last one appears to be Japanese.

It actually looks a little, well, small, but we'll see what happens once I get over the fact that the Gigi is just plain beautiful (did I mention it comes in purple?).

Friday Humor: Abstinence-Only Driver's Ed

noreply@blogger.com (Ariane) — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 00:18:00 +0000

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2008/2/22kleid.html

"The ONLY 100 percent effective method for avoiding car accidents is to ABSTAIN from driving until marriage."

It just gets better from there.

Courtesy Feministing.

Reviews

noreply@blogger.com (Ariane) — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 13:29:00 +0000

My review of the Impulse Flexi P is up on EdenFantasys; as I said in my last post I adore it, even if I do wish that it was silicone. It can be found here: Impulse Flexi P.

I've also asked to try my first plug; a rather non-intimidating affair known as a "Rump Shakers small" (since, of course, it vibrates. Maybe I should invest in Duracell stock. And rechargeable batteries!). It's so non-intimidating, in fact, that it won't...stay...in. The neck isn't narrow enough as compared to the widest point of the plug.

Which is fine, if you want to fuck with it, and the buzzing provides rather iiiiinteresting sensations. However, for those women and men who want something that stays put, I must recommend finding a toy with a narrower neck and a wider "widest point". I do, however, like the fact that the controller detaches from the plug; if one gets enthusiastic and tugs, the plug (of the wire!) will just come out of the controller instead of the wire breaking. I do wish that it detached at the base of the buttplug; then the plug could be used independently, though I wouldn't try to walk around with it since, as I said, it won't really stay in. Maybe with a tight pair of panties/pants and tape to keep the wire from getting everywhere, but by then you might as well just get a second plug.

Sex, Sex, More Sex (Toys)

noreply@blogger.com (Ariane) — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 03:46:00 +0000

My last semester at university has kept me rather busy; busy with, interestingly, sex! Oh, not me having sex - if only that were true! Unfortunately, my dear SO lives too far away for me to spend time cuddling OR having mindblowingly hot sex. This difficulty is eased by having mindblowingly hot phone sex.

Anyway, back to the sex that I'm not getting, as related to academia. I'm taking two courses related to sex this semester. The first is an anthropology course titled, aptly, "Sex and Gender". It's absolutely fascinating so far; we're reading articles and scholarly books on gender and sex differences not just in the US but across cultures. For example, Nanda's Gender Diversity surveys transgendered and third-gender systems across the world - from India's hijras to the sworn virgins of the Balkans.

The second course is a course on 18th century literature, as it describes and relates to various forms of deviancy! For example, we're reading some of Defoe's works, as well as extraordinary explicit excerpts (practically pornography!) from Libertine literature. When Flesh Becomes Word is definitely not a book to read in public - explicit illustrations abound.

I tried out the Impulse Flexi P, as mentioned in my last blog post. It's a traditional vibrator that can "flex", and I absolutely adore it. It's my new favorite toy!

Stats:
Insertable Length: 5.5"
Circumference: 5" (not too big, but definitely not for a total beginner)
Functions: 4 straight vibration settings, 1 "revving"/wave setting, 1 pulse, 1 pulse-vibe setting.
Maker: CEN

Why do I like it so much? It's pretty good to "fuck" with, but the best part is that it can be bent up toward the g-spot, and then just left in on the highest vibration or, if you're like me, the pulsation setting, use your fingers or another vibe on the clitoris, and off you go to a really, really, REALLY nice orgasm. The Flexi is phthalate-free, which is always good, though it's made of TPR, not silicone. That's kind of a bummer, especially considering that it's almost $50, but if you're worried about the TPR or you want to share it, stick a condom over it.

Aaaand a Month Later...

noreply@blogger.com (Ariane) — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 19:40:00 +0000

Hah, just as the title says!

I'll be another year older in a few days; in four, to be precise. I feel old!

Of late I've been concerning myself with scholastic endeavors; I went to a conference over my school's winter break, and had a blast (okay, part of that was the drinking after I gave my paper and could let loose). I'm currently looking for a job for once I graduate, so if anyone's still reading this and would like to employ me in the fields of women's issues, social justice, or hell, the adult industry in a non-sex worker sort of way (as in, working in the office of a toy company, not being a porn film starlet!), drop me a line!

I'm back from my hiatus with EdenFantasys, and my latest item is the Impulse Flexi P. It's a semi-traditional vibrator - it's posaable/bendable, and the TPR is soft but not too soft. It's purple (my favorite color), and has a smell that is, surprisingly, not unpleasant! It's vaguely baby powder-like. I wouldn't want to smell it all day, but it doesn't have that nasty phthalate or "new plastic" scent. It seems thick but not terrifying and long enough to, hopefully, hit my g-spot. We'll see, when I try it out soon.

The packaging is nice enough; there are no pictures of half-naked women on the box (thank you California Exotic!). Padding inside of the box leaves something to be desired, though as always EF packaged the item carefully.

Lack of Updates, and Reviews

noreply@blogger.com (Ariane) — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 00:17:00 +0000

So, due to the fact that my final papers and exams and such were rather time-consuming, I haven't written in, well, quite some time!

My two latest reviews are up at EdenFantasys: the Foot Long Sex Toy Case and Fun Factory's Meany.

I love the FYN case; in fact it made the trip with me home, packed with my two favorite toys (a rabbit and a g-spot vibe) and some lube (as I noted in my review, bag your lube in plastic to prevent a big, nasty mess). I loved the Meany until it stopped working. Unfortunately, while the helpful folks at EF offered suggestions, it stayed broken. Lemons!

Christmas fast approaches and I am reminded of a few things, some of them sexual and some not.

1. I would really love a Hitachi magic wand for Christmas. Of course, I also want a rechargeable, phthalates-free vibrator, and an "Internet-enabled" vibe so that M and I can really have some fun, but my wallet can't handle that kind of pressure!

2. I also really want a corset; theoretically I could build one for myself, though I'm not sure if I have sturdy fabric on hand for it. I have plenty of muslin to act as lining, though I wouldn't mind something a little softer. I might need to cannibalize the utility fabric from a planned Renaissance costume. I have big zip ties that can serve as boning, as well as grommets and lacing; I'd need to order a busk, though, which could really cramp my style in terms of time. I KNOW I have a pattern around here for a Victorian style corset; though it'll be in a bigger size than the last one I made (four years of college living will do that...).

3. I really wish that I could spend Christmas day in bed with M instead of at a huge table in a loud restaurant with my semi-dysfunctional family (and no M in sight). If M and I end up married someday, I'd rather like to do that one Christmas! Admittedly, it would probably irritate everyone in both families, so maybe we'll do that on Christmas Eve day?

4. I should really go out and get some batteries tomorrow. I went to the trouble of packing up my two favorite toys and taking them on the plane with me, but I left the batteries at school - I was worried they'd be mistaken for explosives.

Seen Before, But...

noreply@blogger.com (Ariane) — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 23:33:00 +0000

I'm sure this has made the blog-rounds already, but it amuses me:

http://jezebel.com/gossip/clips/walt-disneys-the-story-of-menstruation-299748.php?autoplay=trueWatch

It's apparently not the entire short, but it's enough.

I burst out laughing when the narrator stated that some girls experience a little less "pep", a feeling of pressure, and "perhaps the occasional twinge or touch of nerves".

I wish I only experienced a slight twinge or touch of nerves; anyone who knows me knows that I'm basically impossible to live with for about a week and a half.

Two In One Week!

noreply@blogger.com (Ariane) — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 18:05:00 +0000

The "Meany", by Fun Factory, and the "For Your Nymphomation Foot Long Toy Case" arrived today. I'm only required to review one, but I don't mind reviewing the FYN case too.

First impressions:

FYN Case:
- Well made
- Despite the fact that it's purple (which I asked for! I love purple), it looks rather classy. It has a leather look,
- The lock and keys seem solidly made
- It fits all of the toys I need most, plus room for TWO lubes
Caveat: Put your lube in a plastic baggy if you plan to travel. While this bag can probably handle it, it will keep everything else cleaner (including your clothes, since the zipper area is probably not liquid/water proof) if the lube opens mid-flight.
- It's soft-sided; if you plan to travel with a glass toy, pad said toy to protect it.

Meany:
- It's adorable
- Silicone! No phthalates!
- It's not intimidating (so there will be no exclamations of "Ahaha ogod you want me to stick that where?!")
- The package and instructions have multiple languages
- It doesn't smell gross!
- It's weighty but not heavy
- Ten straight vibration speeds, 3 vibration "programs"
- Surprisingly quiet
- Waterproof
- Lube sample included (which I will not try - it contains glycerin. Glycerin and I don't get along!)

Fridays and Feminism

noreply@blogger.com (Ariane) — Fri, 30 Nov 2007 16:41:00 +0000

I love Friday. It signals the start of the weekend, when I have more time to, um...write papers. Such an exciting life.

It also gives me the opportunity to catch up on the news. Do indulge my occasional ranting; I've been reading Feministing lately, as well as discussing feminism amongst classmates, so I'm more willing to snarl than usual.

Some highlights:

- Michelle Bruce, a councilwoman in Georgia, is being sued because she "misled" voters by identifying herself as female in the latest election. Ms. Bruce is transgendered and was born biologically male. Georgia Fuller, who finished third in the council election, is claiming that the election wasn't fair because Riverdale, the city for which the election was held, tends to vote for women.

What a prickly situation! Ms. Bruce is transgendered! Okay, so what? She apparently hasn't made a secret of it and one can determine that after four years in office the voters have figured it out, unless they're all deaf, dumb, blind and keep their heads in the sand. How has she at all deceived the voting populace? Or are we assuming that voters should vote based on the sex and/or gender of the candidates, instead of their political stances and platforms? Now I might be from New York, which tends toward being liberal, but I would rather not base my voting strategy on someone's gender identity.

- Apparently there's a "new debate" about female circumcision (often referred to as FGM - Female Genital Mutilation). I must admit that I'm a little confused by this debate; one of the debaters is an anthropologist who has undergone one type of the procedure (her paper is 33 pages long and I'm still sorting through it) and claims that the sexual dysfunctions of circumcised women cannot be attributed to the circumcision.

Like I said, I'm confused. I realize that there are cultural differences; maybe I'm being "imperialistic". Maybe I'm being an ignorant Westerner. Something about the idea of female circumcision, no matter how it is performed (even if there is a doctor and a sterile environment involved!), sends absolute chills down my spine. This anthropologist calls it "empowering"; given every description of FC/FGM I've ever read, I cannot figure how. Keeping in mind that I don't really agree with male circumcision either*, I'm having trouble relating "empowering" to "removing a small bodypart with the potential to cause enormous pleasure in a woman's body during sexual intercourse." I'm having trouble also sorting through Dr. Fuambai Ahmadu's paper; a lot of it seems to be her desperately trying to cling to her ideas of culture and female sexuality (sans clitoris), while accusing anti-FGM/FC scholars/advocates/etc of clinging to their ideas about culture and female sexuality (vulva still intact).

The paper in question can be found at http://humdev.uchicago.edu/AhmaduAintIWomanToo.pdf

Opinions are welcome.

*I'm clarifying for the hell of it: I would never refuse to date or break up with a man who has been circumcised due to said circumcision; rather, my position is such that I will not, should I ever have a son, have him circumcised.

Dream Sword Fights on Bridges

noreply@blogger.com (Ariane) — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 13:41:00 +0000

It would seem that whenever the temperature in my room changes, my dreams change. My room has been swelteringly hot since I got back from my Thanksgiving vacation; last night I finally covered the vent with printer paper (the vent on my side is already off; I share it with the person next door, so it's their heat that's busy making my room into a sauna!), and fell into a more peaceful sleep as I sighed happily and curled under my sheets and one blanket at last.

Or at least, it was intended to be more peaceful! Instead I dreamed a somewhat confusing mix of being a swordswoman or some kind of fighting cleric/priestess (I had a staff with a golden angel on one end, it was a big clue!) and fighting...the bad guys? I don't know why they were bad, but they were really easy to kill until I came across one guy who looked a lot like a cross between Orlando Bloom a la Lord of the Rings and my significant other, M. Oh, and I also had some kind of secondary weapon that looked a lot like the "Instead" menstrual cup or a diaphragm.

So here I am, fighting this guy, and we end up on a bridge; a suspension bridge. But are we fighting on the actual deck of the bridge? No of course not! Instead we are up on the cables, climbing fearlessly up to the tower from which the cables hang. Inexplicably, on the way down we decide to..hold each other instead of fight?

And then I defeated him, converted him and we all lived happily ever after, or something. What the heck?

The Tango

noreply@blogger.com (Ariane) — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 21:47:00 +0000

EdenFantasys sent me the "Tango" for my next review. The website claimed 4.5" circumference, so I expected a relatively modest vibe.

This thing is huge. I mean, huge. Bordering grotesque. I measured it and mid-shaft it measures 6" around.

This thing scares me!

First thoughts on the Tango:

- Oh. My. God. it's huge.
- It smells funny
- It's not made very well (someday I need to try some vibes/dildos made by small companies)
- Gelatin Rubber sounds like a euphemism for jelly
- Vibrations are mostly down at the base, but ahaha I can't even get the damn thing far enough in to feel them on my clit
- It's realistic, it has balls and is veiny and stuff, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. On the one hand it's my first realistic vibe; on the other, disembodied orange penis = what the hell?
- Multispeed is always good.
- The top have is squishy; the bottom half is really firm
- Beneath the gelatin rubber on the bottom half is stuff that looks like styrofoam or building material.

Respect and "Getting Any"

noreply@blogger.com (Ariane) — Mon, 26 Nov 2007 16:52:00 +0000

So, I didn't post during my little sojourn for Thanksgiving, though I did (mostly) enjoy my time in Florida - it was sunny and warm every day. Of course, I came back to school last night and it's been miserable since then - it's been raining since a bit after dark Sunday night, and it's still raining now. I like the rain, but it's a little depressing at the moment.

With a very poor segue, mostly what I want to natter on about is respect and what it has to do with "getting any".

My significant other, like so many other nerds, plays World of Warcraft (WoW). Several of our mutual acquaintances play said game with him; I do not, as I don't particularly like dealing with these people in large groups - I find that while I can speak to the males in this group one-on-one and find them cordial, even friendly, but putting them in a group miraculously transforms every single one of them into completely immature assholes who get off on, frankly, being mean.

The members of this group base whether they respect a person of the male sex (there are a few gay men in the group but no one is openly transgendered) primarily, it would seem, on two things: ability to play WoW and whether said male is "getting any".

I have no idea why this group would base its respect on the latter factor, as most of the people in said group...don't. Including my significant other, mostly due to distance. Due to this distance, however, I as a person do not "count" and I "don't exist"; my SO isn't getting any because we're in a long-distance relationship, and that's a reflection upon his manhood (apparently). It is apparently unacceptable to be in a relationship in which one is not having sex.

Overstocking

noreply@blogger.com (Ariane) — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 18:16:00 +0000

Okay, so one more before the airport (ugh I hate flying so much!)

Did you know that Overstock.com sells vibrators and "massagers"? How hilarious is that? You have to search pretty hard for them: they're in the "relationships and intimacy" section.

Mind you, the vibes are hidden behind "adult image available". The women in skimpy corsets, thongs and "bunny" outfits are not. Go figure.

I wouldn't buy vibes from Overstock unless I already knew the brand and the specific vibe's properties; for instance, I might buy a Fun Factory vibrator if it was way less expensive than EF because I know that the vibrator is well-made and phthalates-free. I would NOT buy just any random vibe; apparently Overstock labels jelly/jel-ee/whatever brand variation as "plastic" at times (because I know that rabbit vibe is made of Jelly, dear Overstock, and you call it plastic!).

Anyway. I found it amusing. Since as a reviewer EF gives me free toys and lets me keep them, I'm not in desperate need of a vibrator right now.

Untitled #3

noreply@blogger.com (Ariane) — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 16:49:00 +0000

"Go take a nap," he told me a few hours ago. Maybe it was the dark circles under my eyes or the way that I was practically sleeping on his shoulder standing up that tipped him off to my exhaustion.

Little did I know that he had an ulterior motive for sending me off to bed. While I slept peacefully M was busy with his plans; plans that he put into action as soon as I woke up.

For of course M intended me to wake up and wonder why there were soft things wrapped around my wrists and ankles, why I couldn't move my arms and legs. Handcuffs, my still-tired mind realized. With my eyes finally open I spotted him at the foot of the bed, cock already hard and waiting for me. "Hmmm, have I done something bad, Master?" I asked, letting out a sleepy yawn.

"Of course not, slave," he murmured in his deep voice. I loved that voice. "I'm just going to help my little slave relax." I struggled against my bonds playfully, and in response he crawled onto the bed, slid up my body and kissed me until I was pliant and purring against his mouth. He distracted me oh-so thoroughly so that I didn't realize he was covering my eyes with a blindfold until the fabric was pressed against my eyelids.

"Wh-- Master, you know how I feel about these," I protested, but he soothed me with another kiss. "I'll be here the entire time, slave. Just be a good little slave and relax for me." Then he kissed his way down my body until he reached my pussy. I couldn't see him, couldn't tell what M would do next, and so I had to rely on touch alone.

Over and over he licked my soft, bare skin. He spelled words with his tongue and traced shapes on my skin until I was panting and moaning. He slid two fingers inside of me and pushed upwards, stroking along until he found the spot that made my breath hitch.

He sucked on my clit until I begged for more, rubbed at that place inside of me until I begged to come. "Come for me, slave," he ordered against my skin, the words slurred by his preoccupation. I gushed against his hand as I came, feverishly rocking my hips and moaning "Master!"

By the time I'd come down he'd removed the bonds from my ankles and wrists, then crawled further up the bed to wrap his arms around me. "That was beautiful," he whispered. "Don't you want to please your Master, now? I want you to suck my cock." I could tell that I was blushing just a little, and so could he, because he whispered into my ear, "suck my cock, slave. Right now!"

But that, of course, is a story for another day.

(note: I know that many authors, whether of blogs, short stories or novels use "i" instead of "I" when writing from the perspective or for the dialogue of a slave or submissive. I am unfortunately a little OCD, and all I can think about when writing something utilizing this convention is that I'm doing it wrong! Additionally, maybe I'm what's called a "fluffy BDSM"-er, however the sort of relationship I am intending to portray via this little exercise is not a 24/7 D/s relationship. So please, do forgive my OCD-ish need to use proper spelling and grammar!)

Vacation

noreply@blogger.com (Ariane) — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 14:37:00 +0000

I may or may not be posting for the next week; I'm visiting my family for Thanksgiving and it depends on whether I can get a moment where someone isn't leaning over my shoulder and saying "Ooh, what's that? Who are you talking to?"

I mean, my mother is aware, academically (hah!) that I possess a vibrator. She is not aware that I am a sex toy reviewer, nor that I have a sex blog.

It really is better to keep it that way, as upon occasion I do believe she'd rather find out that I'm having sex with random frat boys, than find out that I'm growing a collection of vibrators (albeit slowly, since the latest vibe was a total failure!).

Anyway, happy Thanksgiving to anyone reading; I'll be putting up one more "Untitled" before I run off to the airport.

Untitled #2

noreply@blogger.com (Ariane) — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 02:36:00 +0000

"I've been a bad, bad girl," I whisper oh so softly. I can feel you hardening against me with just those simple words.

"Is that so, slave? Tell me how you've been bad," you demand, even as your hand strokes over my ass - the ass you seem to love so much.

"Mmm...while you were out, I came without permission!" My voice is soft and just barely apologetic, just the way you like it. And then your hand slaps my ass and I gasp, moaning my apologies as you spank me over and over, until my skin is pink and I beg you for forgiveness, saying that I'll be a good girl, Master, if you'll just forgive me.

"Of course I forgive you. I love my slave," you murmur just before pinning me to the bed. With one hand you make sure I am dripping wet before sliding your cock into my hungry little pussy, to give me a good hard fucking.

Untitled #1

noreply@blogger.com (Ariane) — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 20:30:00 +0000

I want you to whisper sweet words into my ear, words like "I love you" and "you're beautiful". I want your hands all over my skin, brushing over my arms, my breasts, my hips. I want you to kiss me and tell me oh so softly that you'll always be here.

I want you to growl against my mouth that I'm yours, all yours, and that you're going to fuck me until I'm raw. I want you to wrap silk around my wrists and bind me to your bed, order me to lick, to suck, to beg for what I want.

I want to beg for your mouth on my pussy, your tongue on my clit. I want you to lick me until I scream.

Then I want you to push into me with one hard thrust and fuck me hard while you order me, "rub my clit for me, slave" (for right then all of me is yours). I want it rough, rough and deep so that I beg you to let me come and you tell me to come for you, all over your cock.

And then, of course, you'll come too, and collapse atop me, sheltering me while you whisper "good slave" and tell me you love me before we snuggle together and breathe...at least until we're ready for a second round.

Safer Practices vs. "Wait until marriage"

noreply@blogger.com (Ariane) — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 04:27:00 +0000

If you live in the US, you've likely been inundated with 4parents.gov's commercials about abstinence until marriage. Kids who can't possibly be older than 14 say "mom and dad, please talk to me about sex, tell me what you want for me, and tell me to wait until I'm married."

On the one hand I understand that STDs/STIs are out there, so is pregnancy, and that many teenagers just aren't ready for sex. I believe parents SHOULD talk to their kid about these things in a balanced manner, because if the religious right has its way sex outside of marriage will just be illegal before too long. The site does talk about birth control, surprisingly. On the other hand, I find the "until marriage" slant distasteful and ill-advised and their "marriage is just better" attitude distasteful.

4parents advises that parents not allow televisions or computers in a teenager's bedroom, and that parents carefully monitor their children. Who they hang out with, what they do on the Internet, etc etc. Is this in the name of keeping your kid from being too...sexualized? Something like that, I suppose. Somehow I managed not to turn to drugs, sex and alcohol despite having a computer in my room. Maybe I'm a fluke!

How about not buying your kid a bunch of FPS games that will likely desensitize him or her to violence? How about protesting things like the gratuitously violent "Saw" series or "Hostel" duology? Why don't we have children on television saying, "Mom, dad, talk to me about violence. Help me learn the difference between reality and fiction and help me to be a good person" or some such? Why is violence more OK than sex?

Blog Promotion

noreply@blogger.com (Ariane) — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 19:33:00 +0000

Let's see if I can manage to add myself to Technorati; I managed a blogroll somehow, after all.

Technorati Profile

It works! I'm not completely and utterly technologically inept!

As an aside, I should probably give credit where credit is due for the header image.

Background: Blogger
Book: Free clip art; text added by me
Flower-thing: GIMP "Floral Abstract" paintbrush created by Angeles

Clearly I am much more talented at "abstract art" (read: "splattering" a bunch of colors on a blank GIMP canvas and fucking around with the filters until I like the results). At least the glasses on the book are appropriate; my vision sucks without mine.

EDIT:

Oh, how awesome am I? I managed to get RSS-feed thing from Feedburner without destroying the universe! It even works. Back in the old days, I tell ya, we had to write our own HTML for everything. There was no such thing as a "blog", or a "wysiwyg" or any of that rubbish!

Also, we needed to walk to school uphill both ways, in 15 feet of snow.

Submission and Sexuality

noreply@blogger.com (Ariane) — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 17:44:00 +0000

Exploring one's sexuality - not just sexual orientation but what turns you on, gets you off and leaves you panting for more - can be interesting and sometimes empowering. Sometimes it can even be a little scary when you find that you want things you didn't think you would or that society teaches is wrong/perverse. It can even be a little odd to find that a person wants things that seem somehow contradictory: how can a woman be a feminist submissive (with a male dom)? Is it contradictory at all, since if the situation is consensual, the woman in question is choosing to be submissive to that particular male dom?

I'd argue, of course, that sexuality isn't "static", and perhaps those more learned than I would agree with me. I'm using purely anecdotal, personal evidence here; certainly my sexuality hasn't been entirely static.

I call myself a submissive but I haven't always been; originally I didn't think of my sexuality in terms of "dominant" or "submissive" at all. I was interested in straight vanilla sex (of course, at the time I wasn't having sex - I was almost 20 the first time I got in bed with someone, but that's another story entirely).

AN Roquelaure's (that being Anne Rice's nom de plume) "Sleeping Beauty" series opened my eyes to dominance and submission; I was fifteen or so and a friend had let me borrow the series. Soon enough I realized that really, Roquelaure/Rice was wallowing in the idea of BDSM, and that not everyone interested in D/s, BDSM, powerplay etc wants a plug with horsehair coming out of it shoved up their ass, or to be ridden like/called a pony. Or to be fucked with a candle, for that matter.

I've explored various activities and "kinks" from the safety of the Internet (wonderful thing, really). I've thought about being a domme, about being a sub, being the penetratee and penetrator, questioned my orientation once or twice, admired the idea of being fisted, and dated a dom who really didn't have a clue about what the hell he was doing but thought he knew everything, and thought that all women orgasm from penetration (uh, hello? Clitoris is on the outside). Of course, this same person didn't understand the meaning of "stop gnawing on my clit, that doesn't feel good" or "for the love of all that's holy stop pinching my nipples like you want to rip them off".

My actual experience differs greatly from my grand ideas; I've never been properly dominated-in-person nor have I dominated someone. My current relationship is long-distance, so the only D/s occurring there is via phone sex; wonderful really but I want the real thing, please and thank you. What interests me at the moment is the apparent domme (Domme?) streak I have going on; that and my significant other's utter disinterest in being submissive for more than, say, 5 seconds. I'm not the type to "switch" between Domme and sub frequently; I believe this is more of an occasional itch.

New Review Up!

noreply@blogger.com (Ariane) — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 21:46:00 +0000

Eden Fantasys had me review "Liquid Sex", a glycerin-free lubricant designed for sensitive skin. Check out the review here.

I'm up to review #5; four of the five are posted on EF's website. You can see my other reviews on my contributer page.

Happy reading!

I just finished my review of the Intimate Basics Siena. It should be up on EF in a week or two.

A quick summary of my experience:

The Intimate Basics Siena at first appears to be an excellent toy for anyone who wants to start using sex toys but is intimidated by some of the more advanced toys out there. It's not too thick, not too thin and it's actually quite powerful. Unfortunately, it also appears to be cheaply made despite being endorsed by Dr. Laura Berman. The Siena has a cardboard cylinder inside, ostensibly to help the user figure out which direction the batteries go in. This insert doesn't come out, which means that the C-size batteries just barely fit in.

Less than ten minutes after I turned the Siena on, while I was well on the way to an orgasm, the toy. shut. off. Needless to say I was irritated - especially since it suddenly lost its multispeed capabilities and only worked on "high". Not to mention the fact that the toy claims to be waterproof but isn't, and the plastic base-piece is already cracking!

If you are reading this, dear anonymous reader, I urge you to avoid this vibrator: its only redeeming quality is in being phthalates free, and for a few dollars more you can get a much better vibrator with that safety feature.

EDIT: I'd like to note that I can't get the effing battery out, by the way.

Disclaimer: I Find Complaining Cathartic

noreply@blogger.com (Ariane) — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 20:12:00 +0000

So, being a student, especially a student of history, it is my responsibility to read lots and lots of historically relevant texts for class. Sometimes these are really interesting (check out Jeanne de Jussie's "The Short Chronicle"). Some of these are, unfortunately, extremely boring (at least to me; I find Polunov's "Russia in the Nineteenth Century" dry as a bone).

Most unfortunately, however, some of these books are extremely depressing, however well-written they are. Primo Levi's "Survival in Auschwitz", Anna Seghers' "The Seventh Cross" and Graham Swift's postmodernist novel "Waterland" are all, frankly, a drag; and I'm reading all three of them at the same time. In fact, I should really have finished Seghers and Levi, since I have a relatively short essay due on the pair tomorrow.

Instead I'm 100+ pages short of the finish in Seghers' novel and about the same amount in Levi's (which is sad really, because Levi's book is only 172 pages long!). What this should tell me is to stop procrastinating.

What it does tell me is that, for all my ranting and raving (don't worry, it's upcoming) about feminism, women's rights, liberation and whatnot, I am quite nearly pathetic in my preference for fluffy novels. Give me a book by Mercedes Lackey or Christine Feehan. Give me a book by Robin McKinley (admittedly, "Deerskin" is about as fluffy as broken glass), Sharon Shinn, Kelly McCullough. Argh! I want something with romance and a happy ending, not books of human pain and suffering.

This is so un-sexy. Oh well. I feel as sexy as an elephant, between the need for chocolate, my depressed mood (due 90% to these books I do assure you; the rest is general stress-related at the moment) and the realization that yes, I really should lose weight. I've switched from excessive sugar in my coffee to stevia; that's a good start, right?

Time to read another 100 pages of Levi and maybe bullshit a little on the Seghers book; I'm not sure I can take another 200 pages of sadness and desperation.

Bienvenue (Welcome)

noreply@blogger.com (Ariane) — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 03:09:00 +0000

I'm Ariane. Welcome to my blog!

I'm:
- a student
- an academic
- a feminist
- a nerd/geek
- a writer
- heterosexual
- sex-positive
- submissive (in bed)
- opinionated

At some point in the last, say, week or two, a friend came to me and described an all-too-common situation to me: a young woman comments in response to a poem, "I'm so glad that this poem doesn't have any references to sex or homosexuality in it. It shows that poetry can be beautiful without being crude and indecent."

Oh young lady. You don't know me but yours is an opinion I'd like to pin on a wall and throw darts at, and at the same time it has inspired me, for somewhere in the last few days I decided that I have a few things to say about sex and sexuality, and maybe they're things that people will find interesting.

Or maybe I'll get flamed to Internet Hell for being openly feminist, sex-positive and happy to rail away at the injustices of this world.

So let's be sex-positive for a little while, shall we? Even the staid academics are doing it!