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My Eureka Moment – I understand the primary cause of unhappiness

taylor — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 07:10:28 +0000

My Eureka Moment – I understand the primary cause of unhappiness

For those of you who have been following my blog posts or know me well you will have gathered that I have been on a journey of discovery over the years; I liken it to the story of Siddhartha, the famous, mythical recounting of the journey of enlightenment of the Buddha, who the story outlines went through a series of experiences and challenges before finally realising the understanding the truth and source of suffering.

As I know on a more practical level, from being employed in factories to solve “unsolvable problems”, getting to root cause of any problem is a challenging exercise but involves a few key approaches:

1) Make sure you really understand the exact problem. To do this you need to be very specific on the actual problem and be hyper attentive, detailed and observant about the nature of the problem, until you totally understand the nature of the problem. Not only will this ensure that you have a clear understand the problem you are trying to solve, but you will also be able to prove you have reached root cause as it will be able to explain the fll nature of the problem and alleviate the issues highlighted in point 2

2) You need to understand that it is human nature to be side tracked by symptoms fixes, conjecture and opinions that side track your ability to find the root cause. In very complex, multi-dimensional problems, it is very easy to get sidetracked by a relatively small lever. The optimal way to overcome this is to firstly be able to build a clear and accurate model of all the factors that link to the problem you are trying to solve and have clarity on how they all interact to determine the critical levers, then to be able to measure the actual characteristics of these levers v what they should be doing. You can then identify the levers and test these against the nature of the problem you are trying to solve. You will have cracked it if you can accurately explain all of the problem as outlined in 1). Of course, this is much easier in scientific, measurable problem arena and much harder in more esoteric problems, nevertheless the same principles can apply to guide to root cause.

My deep experience in problem solving, I now realise I have been applying over the last 10 years to a problem that was so complex, it has been an epic marathon that has tested me to the very core….

The problem being: what is the root cause of unhappiness? I will be sharing with you my journey of discovery, the realisations I have made along the way, and the root cause that I have discovered.

I believe that if enough people read this journey and then take the action I propose, the entire will go through a magnificent positive social change for individuals, all other beings and the entire planet we live on.

Enjoy!

About Mark Taylor….

Mark Taylor is the Founder and Director of Keys To Success Club. Mark has a life long passion for personal development and for ongoing personal growth. Mark helps other people lead healthier, more fulfilling lives by connecting them to tips, knowledge and personal development experts through Keys To Success Club.

Being Your True Self

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Being Your True Self

taylor — Sat, 01 Oct 2011 09:18:18 +0000

Being Your True Self

This is a really interesting topic for me. We are members of a tribe in our natural state, and this does create a natural urge to fit in to our community, and within reason this is a healthy trait as being a loner is not a great place to be.

Probably a better question to ask yourself is the degree to which you lose your true self in the process and compromise your own realness and authenticity. It is my belief that if this is too compromised (in order to fit in), then you will in fact achieve the opposite, as at an energetic level, people will be unable to connect at a humanistic level as you, in its extreme level, have become unhuman, an actor or a charade of sorts.

About Mark Taylor….

Being Your True Self

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Achieving without attachment

taylor — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 09:12:30 +0000

Achieving without attachment

Interesting for me as I see from afar my nephew grow up. Very similar to me and it is very easy to want to counsel/offer opinion on his journey. One thing I have noticed is linked to the mechanisms we have put in place as a capitalist society that breed competitiveness and a significant attachment to success or failure of successful outcomes. What is the issue with this? If your happiness is determined by outcomes, you are effectively settling for an up and down existence, with a heavy reliance on external factors out of your control.

Does this mean we should all stop trying to do our best and achieve. Absolutely not, I fully endorse giving 100% to any effort you make and being fully committed, but that in itself is the definition of success. The outcome is outcome, sometimes as you would like, sometimes not. It is what it is, but if you attach to the outcomes and this controls your life, you are in for a bumpy ride…

About Mark Taylor….

Achieving without attachment

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“Success Insight” August Edition 2011 now available!

taylor — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 06:33:37 +0000

Success Insight – August Edition

Yes it’s that time again for another action packed edition of Success Insights, where we share latest insights, news and events with our community.

Click here to access Success Insight August 2011 edition

In this edition we look at:

Recognising behaviour types
Dealing with parental conflict

Click here to access Success Insight August 2011 edition

Enjoy!

Kind regards

Mark

About Mark Taylor….

Success Insight – August Edition

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Do you really love your partner……unconditionally?

taylor — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 09:07:37 +0000

Do you really love your partner……unconditionally?

The love word is bandied about these days with abandon. I am of the firm belief that the majority of people are not in touch with what this really means; the separation and divorce stats as well as the number of unhappy relationships support this.

Why is this? My view on this is that people are basing their relationships on shaky foundations, a conditional love. A conditional love as it describes is based on set of conditions that are formed by an individual under which they will love someone and therefore commit to them. Typical conditions would be expectations of how someone looks, how they behave, how they make you feel, how successful they are etc, etc. Note the language in that it is all based on a conditional model that is formed. Modern society does not help as it has encourages high expectations of what one should expect and what you deserve from a partner.

The problem with this type of love is that conditions change, people change, we all face challenges and scenarios which show us in a different light.

True love is based on unconditional love which is based demonstrated in many parent/child relationships, but is rare in adult/adult relationships. It is unconstrained and unrelenting in its strength no matter what happens.

So questions yourself on the conditions you set on your partner in order for you to love them and look to rise above this to something much deeper

About Mark Taylor….

Do you really love your partner……unconditionally?

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Parenthood – a path to enlightenment?

taylor — Fri, 01 Jul 2011 09:01:37 +0000

Parenthood – a path to enlightenment?

Parenthood brings with it many new experiences and circumstances. I find it fascinating how many different attitudes people have with it. I believe it is a great magnifier of who you are and the journey you are on.

If your attitude is a “what’s in it for me?” type approach then you are probably in for some tough times. Babies by their very nature are in a basic needs type of mentality and children as they go through various stages have various stages of self orientation. What this means is that unless you let go and give (without immediate return), parenthood is likely to come with underlying disgruntlement and negativity.

This can particularly impact the male ( who often has the biggest ego) who has to adjust to a situation where in reality he comes a distant third after the children and the wife. It is a dramatic role change and is of course demanding.

Does this mean both the mother and father need to sacrifice everything about themselves and take on a pure service mentality. Not in my mind. It is better to think of it as a team play; do what is best for the overall wellbeing of the team and the right decisions and priorities should flow naturally.

If parenthood can be harnessed in this way, it can be a very powerful tool for personal growth as it enables you to transcend egoic, self-orientated behaviour, develop unconditional love and help you on a path to enlightenment

About Mark Taylor….

Parenthood – a path to enlightenment?

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Understanding your behaviour and its impact – Assertive / Constructive Behaviour – The King

taylor — Tue, 14 Jun 2011 07:06:21 +0000

Assertive / Constructive Behaviour

Description

This is when you are able to express your true feelings, both negative and positive, without apology. You say what you mean in an honest, direct and appropriate / constructive style and in a manner that does not violate someone’s rights. You have the confidence to say what you want and repeat it until heard

Short-term Outcomes

Some conflict between you and others especially if they are not comfortable or find assertiveness threatening
Feelings of doubt about your right to assert yourself
Feelings of self respect and confidence
Honesty in relationship with others

Potentially longer term outcomes

Relationships based on honesty and mutual respect
Personal relationships terminated when not based on honesty and mutual respect
Feelings of confidence, authenticity and independence

About Mark Taylor….

Assertive / Constructive Behaviour

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Public Speaking Tips – Tip 5 – Celebrate

taylor — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 10:03:53 +0000

Public Speaking Tips

2. CELEBRATE.

The ‘Nay sayers” are already mouthing

“celebrate what – I’m not yet the best speaker I could be”.

And I say, “we are all a work in progress, we all are best to take feedback & have the trust, courage and confidence to learn”.

Celebrate your energy to get out there and be well prepared and with good intention, open your mouth to deliver the material you know that you know. Celebrate that your mistakes allow you to have something tangible to take to mentoring and develop the specific skill set to achieve the result you want. Celebrate that your audience respects your position in delivering to them.

Celebrate that you are a wonderful learner and it means that you choose to see yourself as successful and acquire the coaching or skill set to do just that – everything is possible.

Tis the season to be jolly, to speak fully and to have a sense of joy, humour and achievement.

And to relax and know that there is always another day to speak…..

About Tric Gibson

Tric is nationally recognized as an inspiring, passionate & compelling public and motivational speaker, who also knows exactly how to teach those skills.With 30 years professional experience, she is a recognized authority in communication training. http://www.tricgibson.com/

Public Speaking Tips

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Understanding your behaviour and its impact – Indirect Behaviour (passive aggressive) – The Snake

taylor — Sun, 15 May 2011 07:02:20 +0000

Indirect or Passive – Aggressive Behaviour

Description

This is when you manipulate the situation to get what you want. Techniques would include saying yes and doing otherwise, spinning situations, pretending and making excuses.

Short-term Outcomes

Feelings of power and success
Desired outcome achieved
Feeling of dishonesty and sneakiness
Chance of being misunderstood

Potentially longer term outcomes

Relationships built on deceit and manipulation
Web of dishonesty to cover past deceits
Reputation of insincerity and deception
Feelings of helplessness and frustration

How the snake handles other styles

The snake will easily manipulate the mouse. The snake will be able to trick the bull. The snake will be threatened by the King who can easily expose him.

About Mark Taylor….

Indirect or Passive – Aggressive Behaviour

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Passive, Aggressive Behaviour – a real watchout!

taylor — Fri, 13 May 2011 08:57:48 +0000

Passive, Aggressive Behaviour

One of the areas I am becoming more and more aware of is the dangerous behavioural style called “passive aggressive behaviour” and it is more prevalent than we might initially think, both within others around us and ourselves.

We are all aware of type A or aggressive behaviour and this of course can be a challenging behaviour, but its main positive is that it is normally very transparent, direct and obvious.

Passive-aggressive behaviour is an altogether more subtle behaviour which is its secret weapon. SO what is it?

I define it as behaviour which is manipulative and cowardly in behaviour. People will say one thing, but mean another. Say different things to you than to other people and in reality very aggressive and destructive in their behaviour, but through passive means, hence the term passive-aggressive.

For me it is linked to a lack of truth, authenticity, and personal courage and causes alot of damage in society.

So, take a look at your own behaviour. Do you stay in your truth or do you play games to get your way. Does a lack of courage prevent you from saying what you really feel?

When you come across it from someone else, you need to pull them up and make sure they know that stand for constructive, open behaviour.

Good luck!!

About Mark Taylor….

Passive, Aggressive Behaviour

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