tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-40449035681868284152024-10-02T00:17:11.171-07:00If you're not pro-actively pursuing effective cross-organizational solutions to consensus-based action items, then I'm afraid I must ask you: what exactly are you doing with your life?sgt.turmerichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13300483364366182547noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044903568186828415.post-46418385131381558082007-06-24T18:37:00.000-07:002007-06-24T18:45:16.583-07:00

I recently received an email from a friend of mine. The content of the email is irrelevant, except for the signature: About Us: [Company X] provides advanced asset management solutions for community sustainability and investment optimization. Our mission is to deliver the benefits of infrastructure performance management with cost-effective technology and services while keeping innovation,

VP of Wordsmithinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17845503484842432152noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044903568186828415.post-21674278856559287992007-05-03T22:10:00.000-07:002007-05-03T22:35:05.426-07:00

My company hosts a quarterly all hands meeting. It's the executives' attempt to better communicate with employees. Its purpose is ironic, since they tell us nothing of consequence, in fact, they usually try to avoid telling us anything of importance (our best source of such information is the mainstream press).These meetings are chock full of business speak. For the first few meetings I was in

Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044903568186828415.post-60431002583346608742007-04-03T09:32:00.000-07:002007-04-03T09:45:29.086-07:00

On Monday of last week I attended a meeting. The substance of the meeting is irrelevant to this report. In fact, the substance of the meeting may have been irrelevant to all who attended as well.Here is a short list of phrases that made me grind my teeth in helpless frustration.go forward (used 3 times)round table (used 2 times. It turns out that it wasn't actually a meeting, it was a round table

sgt.turmerichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13300483364366182547noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044903568186828415.post-25159985703494169872007-03-31T01:01:00.000-07:002007-03-31T01:29:32.335-07:00

I take it Tiger is re-inventing himself.I'm not a reader of Sports Illustrated, but if I was, I would never read it again. I bet the editor who came up with that splashy title for the cover thought he was pretty clever.What does it mean for something to be 2.0? In particular, what does it mean when some software is at 12.0? Does that mean that the software is light years ahead of everything else

Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044903568186828415.post-5911636507632631172007-03-08T08:57:00.000-08:002007-03-08T12:23:24.926-08:00

This is a word that you hear quite often in the software world. This one actually has a real definition in the dictionary. So why am I complaining about this word, you ask?When people around me use the word performant they use it as an adjective that in their warped minds means high performing:Genius A: The code has passed all test cases.Genius B: Super. But is it performant?Genius A: Hmmm. Good

sgt.turmerichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13300483364366182547noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044903568186828415.post-6720521649935307822007-03-06T09:42:00.000-08:002007-03-06T10:53:40.048-08:00

Can someone explain to me what spare cycles are? This morning I overheard a conversation asking whether someone had spare cycles. So I did a quick search. All that was returned were links about spare bicycles and spare CPU cycles. Last time I checked, I was neither. But I should stop whining, especially since, as a strategic member of the corporate unit, my resources should be utilized to

VP of Wordsmithinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17845503484842432152noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044903568186828415.post-36856498594519233862007-03-03T11:49:00.000-08:002007-03-03T12:00:15.730-08:00

Dear AI Team Members,You'll be glad to know I've returned safely from my fact finding mission. Expense report to be submitted shortly (it's a doozy!)Find specimen below - more to follow.In 1991, the team at the OTF Group pioneered competitiveness as part of the Monitor Group. Today, the OTF Group continues to be the thought leader on competitiveness in developing economies and emerging markets,

Operations Coordinatrixhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14680045729709032585noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044903568186828415.post-34191311732423686192007-03-02T10:11:00.000-08:002007-03-08T09:42:04.107-08:00

If you check the dictionary you will see an entry for the word updation. But look closely at the definition. I quote: Usage: informal. That's a polite way of saying this is not really a word.But google it and you'll find that it is everywhere. One of the top search results has it right: Updation is not a word. But this is clearly a losing battle, since it is undeniable that the sane among us are

sgt.turmerichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13300483364366182547noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044903568186828415.post-28390499738755551862007-02-28T16:21:00.000-08:002007-03-31T01:27:36.514-07:00

What the hell is this?Naturally, the labeling on the box is trying to advise the consumer that the contents is a solution, as in a chemical solution, which I suppose is true. But isn't the conventional name for a fruit-based chemical solution, simply "juice"? I had no idea MBAs were such big fans of the natural sciences.I think "solutions" has to be the grand-daddy of business speak. Whereas most

Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044903568186828415.post-76363840974281703392007-02-28T11:51:00.000-08:002007-02-28T12:04:22.192-08:00

This is a term of physics. Here is a decent, if cursory, definition. It is an age-old concept. It means that you can move objects with only a fraction of the force that would be required by acting on them directly. The longer your lever, and the closer the fulcrum is to the object (further away from you) the more leverage you have.Leverage is not a verb.If you are an MBA and you are adding value

Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4044903568186828415.post-24073033783934677802007-02-23T16:00:00.000-08:002007-02-25T14:14:15.874-08:00

I'm going to record some of the horrendous abuses of my favourite language, English, to which I am exposed, against my will, on a more or less daily basis. I work in an office tower, in a cubicle. Precisely what the company does or makes is of no relevance: there are managers and salespeople around. And when they open their mouths, what comes out is invariably Business Speak. If you don't know

sgt.turmerichttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13300483364366182547noreply@blogger.com0