Actualize Your Goals

The Accountability Factor Promotes Greater Success

admin — Thu, 20 May 2010 12:00:00 +0000

How aware are you of being accountable for your actions? Do you take responsibility for the decisions you have made regardless of the outcome? Do you try and shift the blame if things don’t turn out the way that you wanted?

The reality is that situations don’t always evolve the way that you might like. Your contribution and your response in any given situation lead to the result. So what are the keys to holding yourself accountable?

First: create your plan and take ownership of how you want it to unfold. Be accountable to yourself.

In order to achieve this you need to be clear about what needs to be done and how you will achieve it. Make sure that the steps for implementation are defined and clarify how you will track progress. Be mindful of your learning style. If you are a visual learner perhaps creating a reminder on your computer, blackberry or planner. If you are an auditory learner leave a voicemail message for yourself. Remember you want to create an environment that works for you, so use your strengths.

Second: be direct and state the plan clearly to those involved and be willing to hear their feedback even if you don’t like it.

At times people hold back information, either unknowingly or purposefully. If you are doing this with intent, the question would be why? How will this help you, your colleagues and the completion of the task? Other times you may assume that people know some information which they in fact don’t. Ideally they feel comfortable in letting you know what they don’t know or understand. Being upfront and accepting criticism creates an atmosphere of trust and respect which contributes to a more positive work environment.

Third: ask others to hold you accountable.

Being successful in today’s world generally requires you to develop effective working relationships with others. Whether it is your assistant, colleagues, manager or boss, you need their help and support to achieve your goals. Create with them a clear idea of how they can help to hold you accountable. This might mean a willingness to accept their reminders. It could be requesting your partner or friend to check in with you about the progress you are making. Make sure you utilize their support. They will help you move forward and celebrate your successes. You also could reciprocate and hold them accountable.

Take ownership of what is occurring on your watch. Don’t blame others or make excuses. Learning to take responsibility is the essence of accountability. Not an easy task but certainly possible.

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About the Author
Gail Solish, MSW is a Communication and Relationship Coach helping people expand their communication skills, develop positive business and personal relationships and create a balanced life. Visit www.actualizeyourgoals.com or email coach@gailsolish.com. Get your Free Report on the 7 Keys to Effective Communication today.

Are You A Self Hugger?

admin — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 12:00:00 +0000

Are you a self hugger? Maybe you are wondering exactly what’s the definition of a self-hugger? It is someone who has the tendency to think their “values are best, not just for themselves but potentially for everyone.” These individuals have the belief and expectation that people should behave and think exactly the way they do. Often they focus their attention on how to get others to change in order to conform to their values and beliefs.

Dr. Steven Reiss, a psychologist who wrote the book The Normal Personality and created the Reiss Motivation Profile (RMP), which identifies 16 basic desires that motivate and explain a wide range of human behavior, is the person who coined the expression “self-hugger.

In personal relationships the motivation to adapt and accommodate to meet the needs of others might be high. In the business world if you are a self-hugger you can imagine how this could create problems for you. If you are a manager or executive who expects people to always see things the way you do, you might be greatly disappointed. Others work style, values and ethics are going to be different.

Even more concerning might be others pretending to have the same beliefs as you, as they might verbally agree with everything you say, (the so called “yes men or women”) but not necessarily follow through.

Your goal would be to develop a tolerance for individuality and acceptance and understanding of differences. Creativity evolves from people being able to think differently. Allowing others the opportunity to come up with alternative perspectives might bring greater success to your company.

Now let’s turn it around perhaps you work for a self-hugger. How do you get your ideas across without creating difficulties for yourself? How do you accept their values and beliefs which are dissimilar to your own? The key is to be RESPECTFUL. Trying to get your views across to someone who has a static perspective can be very frustrating. You will need to understand and acknowledge their viewpoint even if you don’t agree with it. You will need to work towards compromise or perhaps the notion of experimenting with a new idea. Often when new directions are presented in the form of an “experiment” people are more willing to participate. Experiments are for discovery. It provides the opportunity to tweak and change, all the time moving towards a positive outcome.

In today’s workplace various generations could be labeled as self-huggers, the belief that their values and behaviors are the “correct” ones. The fact is that there is merit in considering different approaches to a situation. No one always has the right answer. In order for companies to grow and develop there needs to be a tolerance and respect for all generations, different beliefs and values, and the unique skills that everyone brings.

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Creating Success – Part One: The Importance of Awareness

admin — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 12:00:00 +0000

People generally want to develop their leadership qualities and build positive, productive relationships. Often they are looking for action oriented techniques to enhance and expand their skills. The ACS© model was created to help people achieve success in their business and personal life. Each of the three components in this model is relevant to helping you become the best that you can be.

Awareness consists of self awareness and an awareness of others. People often talk about becoming self-aware. This is critical in achieving your goals and connecting with others.

There are three aspects of self-awareness.

Recognizing your strengths and weaknesses.

It is important to know what you do well and what areas present more challenges for you. Use your strengths to better manage your weaknesses and also build in the supports you require.

An awareness of how others perceive you.

You need to be aware of how you come across to people which requires you to pay attention to what others are saying. If you view yourself as being an excellent leader but your staff sees you differently there is a significant disconnect which needs to be corrected.

Your response to feedback.

Constructive criticism is an essential part of growing in the work place and in life in general. If you have a tendency to become defensive or annoyed when someone does not agree with you or makes a suggestion about how to do something differently, then over time people may become less than honest with you. Ultimately this could create a problem for you if your bosses see you as someone who is not open to feedback and not willing to make changes.

There are three components regarding “awareness of others.”

Being sensitive to others feelings and behaviors.

Noticing how others are behaving and speaking is an important skill. Does their tone and body language match what they are saying? Is there something different about the way they are behaving? Sometimes just acknowledging what you have observed can bring about meaningful conversations.

Recognition of time and place.

Have you ever heard the expression “there is a time and place for everything.” This is particularly true in the work environment. When you need to have a sensitive discussion with an employee you want to do so in a respectful manner. This includes choosing an appropriate time and making sure this does not occur in front of others. Conducting business in the hallway or elevator can lead to others overhearing conversations they ought not be privy too, which could lead to gossip and rumors.

Knowledge of personality and communication styles.

Knowing your communication style is important, but recognizing the personality and communication style of others can help you become a more effective communicator. When you are aware of how individuals hear and integrate information and speak in that style, you are creating an excellent learning environment.

Use the ACS© model to become a great communicator today.

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Building Positive Networks

admin — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 12:00:00 +0000

Building positive connections with people in your business and personal world is the key to attaining success. Interpersonal relationships help you develop and expand your goals. It is positive relationships that help to support you and move you forward or negative relationships which could interfere with what you want. So let’s examine three key qualities for developing positive relationships.

First you need to be willing to really listen to people and accept what they are saying. Ask questions as a means of demonstrating your curiosity and interest. When your questions follow what the other person is saying it conveys the fact that you are paying attention. That does not mean that you necessarily agree but the beginning step is to listen and learn.

Second you will need to develop patience. Part of building relationships is to allow people to develop trust in who you are and what you stand for and vice versa. In the book 3 Cups of Tea, Greg Mortenson had the idea of building schools in Pakistan as a way of thanking the people of a village who rescued him after he became lost on a snowy mountainside. He was gung ho to get started. However their way of doing business was to develop relationships over cups of tea. This was often a very time consuming process and he describes drinking many cups of tea. However, it allowed relationships to be formed where a core of trust developed and a willingness to hear what was being said.

Third, always be mindful of how you end relationships. Although we are talking about building relationships, situations do not always work out the way you might like. Sometimes it is necessary to end a relationship perhaps because of personality, timing or circumstance. Ending in a respectful manner with an acknowledgment of what has been accomplished to date, is a way of leaving the option open for the possibility of future collaboration or referrals. You never know when you might once again cross paths, so you want to leave on a positive note if at all possible.

More than ever before people are changing jobs and careers several times during their life time. The skills of listening, patience and ending relationships respectfully will always serve you well.

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Laughter Makes the Workplace Lighter

admin — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 12:00:00 +0000

This article was written several years ago but the message is invaluable, particularly given the stress that presently exists in the workplace.

Who says that work always has to be serious? Wouldn’t it be rather boring if that’s the way it always was? Work environments where humor is encouraged tend to be happier, less stressed and more productive. Incorporating humor into our jobs increases feelings of solidarity and cohesion between co-workers. Humor provides a non-threatening medium through which an employee or employer can communicate with others.

Humor helps us think. “Taking time out to laugh can help us to get rid of negative feelings and allow us to better concentrate on what we are doing,” says noted psychologist Dr. Ashton Trice of Mary Baldwin College in Virginia.

Appropriate humor in the workplace is a welcome and tasteful surprise. It is about seeing the humor in everyday situations and having the confidence to laugh at your self. When you tell a story poking fun at yourself, it portrays you as more human. Your life experiences are not so unique, it provides comic relief and invites people to be comfortable and see the humor of their own life situations.

Humor is a stress reducer. It activates your physiological systems, including the muscular, respiratory, cardiovascular and skeletal. When you laugh, you feel physically better, and afterwards you feel lighter and more relaxed.

Humor partners with laughter to increase creativity. This leads to thinking “outside the box,” producing more and different products and services, leading to greater profits. When the atmosphere is light and uplifting, the possibilities become endless.

Explore the possibilities and incorporate humor into your workplace:

Exaggerate or understate
Poking fun at yourself
Use puns
Tell stories, jokes and personal life stories
Learn from TV, movies, and personal experience
Use humor to break the ice (start a meeting or presentation)
Clip cartoons from a newspaper or magazine and post on a bulletin board
Participate in a laughter club (people who meet for no reason except to laugh. Laughing with others is a great way to promote peace in the community.)

Take the time to laugh and smile everyday. It takes 16 muscles to frown and only 3 muscles to smile. Which would you prefer?

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