Adapt, Adopt, and Improve

the Fourth Energy Source

2009-11-08T12:26:00.002-05:00

There are four states of matter: liquid, solid, gas and plasma. In our ever vigilant quest to control nature, our species has done a great job making the first three into cheap, readily available energy sources. Plasma has been a little trickier to have at the home level. You need the nuclear heat of a sun and some way of containing the plasma so you and your neighbors don't become a crispy critters. But soon, some genius will invent safe plasma mounts for home use. And you'll be able to tell who has this energy source in their home. "Remember the Johnson's? Well, they really glow now."

pink belly

2009-11-04T19:23:00.002-05:00

Not all of my friends can be considered potential PHD graduates of Ivy League schools. One friend proved this while trying to solve a pool diving problem. He enjoys jumping from the top of a slide that towers over his swimming pool. The problem is that the crowd-pleasing belly flops from 10 feet up cause him a very painful pink belly condition. He blames the water for being too hard to give way as he crash on to its moist surface. His solution? He poured a few gallons of water softener into his pool. I don't think it worked because on his next dive, he bounced a couple of times on top of water before finally sinking in a pool of pain and curses...

Funny Word

2009-11-03T19:59:00.003-05:00

We have some funny words in our language. Well, it's more how they are used that makes them laughable. For example, as I watch TV last night, the latest election results kept interrupting otherwise good shows. Then one of the talking heads made the comment that voters had enfranchised a certain city with the right to take more of everyone's money for the construction of a statue of some hometown hero who died a couple of centuries ago.

I looked up en⋅fran⋅chise. One definition is "to endow a city, constituency, etc. with municipal or parliamentary rights." Ok, so far, so good. Part two of the definition is "to set free; liberate, as from slavery."

The last time I checked, slavery meant working hard only to surrender the fruits of your labor to someone else. So, a majority of the voters managed to enfranchise their government while disenfranchising the rest of their fellow citizens. Sadly, this happened in America. And to think we're worried about the Taliban taking our freedoms away...

Don't kiss this guy!

2009-10-25T10:50:00.003-04:00

Just in time for Halloween: Sean Murphy of Lansing, Michigan stuffed 16 Madagascar hissing cockroaches in his mouth, thereby breaking the Guinness world record. Of course, any cockroach will hiss given the right amount of butter, heat, and a good frying pan. Sadly, no one gave Sean a congratulatory slap on the back during this news-making event --- I for one, would have paid good money see My. Murphy set the record for accidentally swallowing the most cockroaches.

And so, here is the video... the 'roach clip if you will (sometime words and phrases come together so well that I need 'term insurance' in case someone gets over punned by emotions ....)

SEMA 2009

2009-10-18T18:50:00.003-04:00

The scramble is on! In couple of weeks, the annual Specialty Equipment Market Association (SEMA) show in Las Vegas takes place. Every year, my company has a booth to show off our latest and greatest car and truck accessories. The sad part is watching our technicians work feverishly to do and undo change requests from the marketing department who doesn't have an idea of the amount of work it takes to meet their demands. This year we have even less technical staff than ever. But this doesn't stop our marketing gang from wanting to build the Giza pyramid in less than two weeks and without spending a penny.

As important as this show is, my company rarely sends a engineer along to scope out the latest technological offers. All we get are the complaints that we not doing enough to come up with new gadgets. And that's unfair. Just because the adult film awards are going on at the same time and in the same building, that doesn't mean we wouldn't come up, that is, derive new ideas. People just might end up enjoying our accessories and their drive a little more than they should.

Today I noticed

2009-10-18T18:45:00.000-04:00

Today I noticed that when you shorten an automobile, you get a "Smart car". But when you shorten a bus, it becomes "special" ...

Blogging downturn?

2009-10-14T19:19:00.002-04:00

Over the past couple of years, I have not pursued the art of continually making my blogs popular to the Internet readership. Somehow, the demands of keeping my day job and caring for a couple of other families has pretty much erased 'free time' to pursue my desires. As a result, my blogs have slipped in readership. I suppose I could submit my sites to several of the free directory services that have popped up now. Or I could wait until that day when everything can take care of itself and I can get back to my own self interests. Some day perhaps ...

Medical Travel

2009-10-09T18:31:00.002-04:00

A few years ago, NPR did a series on the high cost of medical practices in America. One piece that caught my attention was on medical travel --- people traveling to another country, getting their surgery taken care of in a safe, sterile hospital and end up spending less money than what what they would have getting things done at home with their insurance deductibles. Several Asian countries are actually setting facilities to handle this influx of demand from Americans. AND they -- the doctors, the hospitals, the care givers --- are making profits. How they can do this with efficiencies that revival the DMV, with the costs and red-tape that best any Amereican government agency, and without the nanny-state regulations we have here?

Yes, I have medical insurance ... I think

2009-09-24T20:19:00.000-04:00

After today's medical insurance meeting at work, I'm not sure if the name of our insurer is Cigna or "Make sure". We were told to make sure that our doctors were in such-and-such network, and make sure they follow certain procedures in filing claims and make sure they only used certain services. Apparently, two doctors can have the same equipment, use the same medical diagnostic process, prescribe the same diet supplements and charge the same amount for their services; but if one doesn't put the right number on the bill, you as the insured will have to pay for this little accounting difference.

Why aren't Insurance companies making this easier for their customers? Because they make more money if you're tricked into paying the bill.

The Revenge of Nature

2009-09-22T19:16:00.000-04:00

One guy had gone so environmentally green that he built his house into the side of a hill. He dug out a good amount of the dirt and had placed huge rocks that had been cut into shapes of furniture, bathroom and kitchens fixtures. Unfortunately he didn't take into account how moist the earth was. You might be surprised how quickly a natural stone bathroom sinks into the wet mud of a hill. Just another example of how, no matter how 'green' you want to be, you can't take nature for granite.

How To Burn Fat

2009-09-19T13:16:00.000-04:00

If you are a hard core vegetarian, you probably should not read any further. If you looking to learn how to burn fat as a weight loss method, again, you should not read any further. BUT, if you are looking for a tasty and enjoyable way to burn fat, it is simple. Grab the thickest, juicy steak you can find and slowly roast it over an open fire. You'll find that the fire does a wonderful job at sculpting any those unsightly bulges of fat deposits and leaves behind a succulent morsel that may do little to help your diet. But, hey, my method is a lot more fun, isn't it!

Today's Audio Quality

2009-09-05T11:39:00.002-04:00

Contrary to popular opinion, I got my start in electronics several decades after the likes of Tesla and Edison. Yes, we have come a long way. And yet there has been a slight degradation in how music is being reproduced.

A few decades ago, you could have your music played through smooth sounding tube amplifiers or through cheap, transistor-based devices --- cheap winning that choice as it often does. Over the years, digitized sound has become even cheaper and can do a much better job matching playback quality to sound's real-life origin (which is kind of like saying that a McDonald's hamburger is almost as good as one made by a world-class chef). So now, I am pretty much accustom to the digital tinniness of our modern day systems ... meaning that I no longer feel the need to drive a pencil in my ear when listening to a CD or MP3 player.

And then yesterday, it happened. A friend of mine showed me his new car radio. A few years ago, Samsung made a limited number of car radios that had vacuum tubed amplifiers. My friend was able to purchase one from someone in Japan. By purchase, I should say "pay ransom" judging by what he had to spend. In any case, when this good friend of mine played some music through his newly enhanced radio, it was amazing --- the heavens opened up, small children dried their tears, there was peace in the Middle East and life was good for those brief minutes. Even though my hearing has diminished somewhat since those good old days, I could still hear those warm lows and crisp highs that today's audio systems can't quite recreate. This was a case where 'cheap' did not win. And yes, I wept.

My friend often participates in the car audio competitions that go on throughout the area. I have no doubt is that he is going to win in a big way at next week's event. I expect there will be lots of tears from the awesome experience of the listerners as well.

Commercial Mixin'

2009-08-23T10:50:00.001-04:00

AT&T keeps advertising how great their rollover minutes option is. What happens if you put your dog on the plan?

This all started when I watched a Purina dog food commercial that followed an AT&T cell phone ad. I wondered what would happen if you put your dog on your cell phone plan. Would he sniff the phone to check his pee-mail? Would AT&T allow unlimited bark messages? If you had a two year contact and the dog ran away never to be seen again, could you complain about your dog-gone phone plan? And then the rollover minutes came to mind ...

Good Old Days

2009-08-19T19:27:00.006-04:00

Yeah, yeah, everyone goes on about how great it is to live in these modern times. But what did they do in the olden days that was so bad? For example, they didn't have the best wrinkle creams but they did have the rack. A couple of good stretches and those wrinkles were gone. Diet pills? When you're having to graze next to old Bessie, dieting was the least of your worries. What about mindless hours spent playing video games? Back then, they didn't have to simulate the fun of being chased by villains and evil monsters. People got to do it for real! Watch out there, Grandma, there's no reset!

Yeah, the good old days were great ... unless you had to live during them.

How Tell If You're Getting Old

2009-08-19T09:58:00.001-04:00

There are a few signs I've been noticing that we can use to tell if you (certainly, not me) are getting older than you care to admit. For example, you stop your acne treatments and begin anti-wrinkle ones. Your body begins to get shorter and your stories get longer. You suck in your gut and your ankles swell. Not that any of this is happening to me. Oh no. Just making some observations ...

Business in the Automotive world

2009-08-17T18:49:00.002-04:00

My company is tightly tied to the automotive industry. When the recession hit in November of last year, it didn't just slap my company silly, it body-slammed us through the economic mat! But we've noticed that things are turning around these past couple of months. While people aren't buying new cars, they are adding car accessories to their rides. We've had a several large orders for our cameras and cruises ... at least, this is what our sales guys keep saying. "If only we had those parts in stock, we could have sold a billion dollars this month." Why they can't sell everything that we've built up in inventory is beyond me. So we just keep building what we're told to build and hope that the business up-tick will reach us ... in spite of the sales guys.

need to change professions?

2009-08-04T19:21:00.000-04:00

:: sigh :: Extremely rough day at work. Maybe I need a different job, something that I still profit at even when I make a mistake --- like being a weatherman. Or perhaps I could open up shop as a veterinarian / taxidermist. "Sorry about Fluffy. Say, for $59.95 you can have him back in the cutest of poses..."

Protect Yourself

2009-08-04T18:48:00.003-04:00

Today's self-defense weapon of choice is not a concealed gun. You can't use that if you're trying to protect yourself from police officers who step over the line. You can't even use such a potent weapon on inconsiderate neighbors who think your property and sleeping hours are under their control. No, these days you have to go high-tech --- camcorders and the services of a good lawyer are the only thing left to a civilized man in an uncivilized world. Just make sure you swing that camcorder from the hip and forcefully upperwards. The lawyer will help you get off on a plea of insanity...

Cheap, Fast, Good --- pick any two

2009-08-04T18:45:00.001-04:00

So my aging faucet in the bathroom has developed a small leak. Just enough so that in the morning, a puddle of water has formed along the outer edge of the sink. It pools along the lip which keeps the water from cascading down the side of bathroom enclosure ... until you unexceptionably put your early morning hand into it.

The faucet is so old that the screw to get to the internal washer has rusted out. Since I'm not rich enough to buy one of the $100 Price Pfister faucets, I've come up with another cheap solution. Cheaper and quicker, in fact, than buying and installing a $5 Wal-Mart special spigots. That's right. I cut off 6 inch piece of string --- about $0.0001 worth ---, laid it along side of the faucet and into the sink. Now, the slowly leaking water wicks along to it's final destination. And I am free to continue to be as cheap as a politician spending his own money.

To The Moon

2009-07-27T12:21:00.004-04:00

I keep hearing discouraging stories about our lack of presence on the moon. Some blame the shortage of money and desire to mount expensive science expeditions. Others fault the extremely high startup costs that prevent otherwise profitable mining operations on our shiny, celestial neighbor.

I think we could have quick and populated presence on the moon. It takes a simple realization of our heavenly orb for what it is: the best weight loss supplement known to man ... and woman. Just think, with a couple of day's journey, you could go from weighing 300 pounds to 50! All motion suddenly becomes effortless. No more shortness of breath and knee joint aches! An earthly fat farm could easily become an popular weight-loss lunar colony. And would you want leave your new found "slimness"? I don't think so which gives us a permanent presence on the moon.

Of course, there would be restrictions. Some people would not be allowed, like supermodels who would suddenly becomes lighter than a newborn baby. All we need is for one of them to develop hiccups. Soon they would be bouncing off into space, crashing into arriving rockets. It might be fine as a pay-for-view event but we're trying to be serious here.

Oh sure, by now, a few of you are thinking, "With all those people, the gravitational attraction between the Earth and Moon will increase! Won't the Moon eventually crash into the Earth?" To you naysayers, let me say this, "How do you think we plan to move Mars closer to the Sun? After all, the Moon is just a stepping buffet to the stars..."

Maybe The Future is OK

2009-07-11T20:30:00.003-04:00

My girlfriend's daughter is a talented young woman. She handles Color Guard performances with the grace of a ballerina. Her officiating duties as an officer in the Future Farmers of Amercia would rival the skills of diplomats in the United Nations. Recently, she didn't even let her lack of piano lessons dissuade her from buying a book of sheet music from the movie "Twilight" and begin practicing the songs on her cousin's borrowed electronic piano.

If she is a representative of our youth -- those quietly conquering their fears, the ones who don't have the need to be in everyone's face, the ones who have decided to take responsibility for their actions instead of blaming everyone else -- then perhaps our future is going to be a good one.

all that glitters

2009-07-11T13:27:00.002-04:00

At one time, I thought that going through divorce is like having an amputation -- you survive but there is less of you. And then, I seemed have found someone who makes up for that 'less of me'. For the better part of this decade (and she has definitely been the better part), I've been dating the most wonderful, caring, loving woman imaginable. Sure, she would love it if I showered her in certified diamonds and the uncertified ones. But, she is interested in how we complete each other more than raw, expensive minerals. I would even give her the pricey plutonium if that would make her happy but I much prefer the natural glow that she has whenever I'm around her. My life may have suffered an amputation but I seemed to have grow into something much, much better!

Fixing Firefox 3.5

2009-07-11T12:10:00.003-04:00

Have you recently be excited about the new and shiny Firefox 3.5 and found yourself unable to resist the chance to upgrade? Me too! Now do you find yourself plagued by "Server Not Found" messages when you go to your favorite sites? Me too. So after after a couple days of frustrating searches which included constant "server not found" results, I've found a link which may help us:
Cannot connect after upgrading Firefox

Let me know if it works for you.....

Exercising ... sort of

2009-07-04T18:09:00.001-04:00

At one time, I was doing everything I could to stay in shape. But then that half century mark hit me and I thought "Should I keep exercising? After all, no pain, no pain." So I compromised and kept up my sit ups by placing the remote control between my feet. All was well until my monthly "Men's Health" magazine had an excellent, guilt-ladened article on being extremely fit by using Kettlebells --- you know, using a heavy object with handle to bend and lift and twist your muscles into positions that you gave up in your 30s --- the female equivalent of a purse. I think the article was sponsored by Bengay cream and Aleve pain killers and the story did a great job making me consider some drastic changes in my life. First, I devised my own kettlebells by freezing mugs of beer. If you don't think you'll contort to save that melting drop of heavenly nectar, then you're just not thirsty enough for your health. Secondly, I canceled my "Men's Health" subscription. I feel much better now!

Another Nail in the Business Coffin, Another Straw on the Camel's Back

2009-06-25T18:13:00.002-04:00

Yesterday's managers meeting was long and arduous. The highlight came as my boss and the CFO announced the new sick leave policy for us salaried folk. Before, if we had a dental appointment or the like, we knew it would be made up by all of the unpaid time that we worked. Now, that hour spent with the dear ol' doc is to be paid by deducting 4 hours out of our yearly allowance of 24 sick leave hours.

Ok, I understand that the powers-that-be want a policy in place to use against abusers of the system --- of which there are none. Still, it was the comments that our overlords made during the Q&A session. Since we are salaried, not only are we expected to put 8 hours a day but, if the work load demands 18 hours a day, then so be it --- with no compensation.

The quality manager brought up how we often don't take all of our vacation time because of the demands of work. At year's end, we lose that time. Our benevolent Overlords respond with what amounts to be "too bad."

Some of us come at 7 am to take advantage of the calm before the work load hits the fan at 8 am and leave no earlier than 4 pm. But NO! Such effective work practices are no longer allowed. Everyone is to adhere to an 8 to 5 schedule!

Sometimes I wonder how happy management would be if we had enthusiastically smiling cardboard displays of ourselves in our dim cubicles -- obediently silent and at our desks 24 hours a day. Who cares if work gets done! It's all about attitude and not being out of the plant.

Anyway, our morale takes yet another dip, the overburden camel takes the burden of yet another ridiculous straw, the business coffin gets another nail -- when the economy turns around and jobs begin popping up like wild flowers in the spring, will there be any questions about the mass exodus from our company?