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8 Things You Should Never Say to Your Husband

2013-01-24T19:28:00.000+06:00

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One of the best parts about marriage is being so comfortable with your hubby that you can say just about anything to him. But if you don’t watch your mouth, sometimes the ugly truth comes out in hurtful—not helpful––ways. Though you may have legitimate concerns to express or issues to bring up, doing so in a harsh manner can be damaging in the long term, to both your husband’s feelings and your relationship. According to Judy Ford, psychotherapist and author of Every Day Love, “Speaking kindly is a skill that couples have to learn. Everyone feels battered by life and the outside world. You shouldn’t feel that way at home.” Here, nine statements that you should never utter to your significant other––and the words that you should try instead.

1. “You’re just like your father.

“This is just a no-no,” says Julie Orlov, psychotherapist, speaker and author of The Pathway to Love. “It’s nasty and belittling, and it gets at his fear that he may be exhibiting the worst traits of his family.” If you’re about to spout a criticism like this, stop and think about what’s behind it: Maybe your father-in-law is the kind of guy who never cleans up after himself, and your husband’s habit of leaving dirty dishes around the house is getting to you. According to Ford, you should skip the insult and get right to a reasonable request, such as: “Hon, when you’re done with your sandwich, can you bring your dish over to the sink?” That way, you can achieve your goals without hurting him in the process

2. “When are you going to find a new job?”
First, figure out why you want him to find a new job so badly. Do you dislike how much time he spends away from home? Do you think he can or should be further ahead career-wise? Is he not bringing home a healthy-enough salary? “Before you say anything that could be hurtful to him, think about what your own issues are,” says Ford. Be particularly careful that you're not attacking his ability to support you and the kids: “Part of how a man evaluates himself is by how well he can take care of his family,” says Ford, so insulting him in this sensitive area can be a serious blow. To avoid this, have regular talks about both of your jobs, career ambitions and budget concerns. If you have an issue with how much money he’s making, “it’s an opportunity to talk about your lifestyle and how you want to live,” she adds. The aim is to avoid putting him on the defensive, and instead work together to create the life you both want. Photo: Shutterstock

3. “My mother warned me you’d do this!”

Something must have seriously infuriated you, because what you’re doing here is letting him know that there are others in your “camp.” “You are trying to validate your ‘side’ of an argument, as though you’re marshalling an army to your side,” says Orlov. But that’s never a good idea because it’s telling him that you’re not on his side, or on the side of your relationship. Though you should never let the opinions of others’ dictate your relationship, if there is some kernel of truth to a concern that your mother raised, think about how to address that. “Maybe your mother said ‘he’s too cheap,’” says Orlov. “Say to him, ‘why do you sometimes seem reluctant to spend money on things we need?’” Without ganging up on him, that could open up a discussion about money worries that stem from his childhood, for example. “Room is now cleared for creative problem-solving,” says Orlov. And if you’re just lashing out? Hold your tongue and focus on the root of what’s making you mad. In the end, coming to a solution together will make you feel better than unleashing hurtful words. Photo: Shutterstock

4. “Just leave it––I’ll do it myself!
This is hurtful in two ways. First, it gets at your husband’s elemental need to be a provider, supporter and capable person in the house. Second, it’s just plain demeaning for any adult to hear that his efforts are sub-par. Do this too often and your husband might think, “I can never do anything right or anything that’ll please her,” says Ford. A better choice is to pick your battles. If he’s in the middle of a task and you think that he’s doing it wrong, evaluate whether it really matters, keeping in mind that, just because he’s doing something differently than you would doesn’t mean that he’s doing it wrong—he is, after all, an adult too. Sure, if he’s about to hurt himself or someone else or break something, kindly step in. But if he’s just loading the dishwasher in a way that drives you nuts? Let it be. Photo: Thinkstock

5. “You always... [fill in the blank]” or “You never... [fill in the blank]”

“These are two phrases I advise couples never to use,” says Ford, “because they set up an instant, negative tone; they halt communication and they put the other person on the defensive.” These blanket statements can make your husband feel unfairly attacked, and chances are he’ll just fire back with all the times he did help. If there are legitimate problems you’d like to address (he really does tend to leave his tools all over the garage floor or often forgets to put gas in the car after driving it), avoid generalizing and try to focus on the issue at hand while also communicating how his actions make you feel: “When you come home with an empty tank of gas, I feel like you don't care about the next person who has to drive the car—which is usually me.” Then add the phrase “would you be willing...,” suggests Ford. Try: “Would you be willing to fill up the car when it gets below a quarter tank?” Most men are willing to do most anything that’ll make you happy––it’s all in how you ask. Photo: Shutterstock

6. “Do you really think those pants are flattering?”

Are you trying to hint that he’s putting on weight? Because saying the above, says Ford, is not getting anything concrete across. You may think that you’re subtly conveying the message, but instead you’re insulting his looks without showing any genuine concern for his health. Instead, start with something you like about how he looks: “When you wear that blue shirt, it really makes me appreciate your gorgeous blue eyes.” Then broach the topic of his weight gain by framing the comment so it’s about his health, not looks: “Honey, what do you think about us both starting after-dinner walks?” When you’ve softened up your approach, you have more room to make other, helpful suggestions. Photo: Thinkstock

7. “Ugh, we’re hanging out with him again?

There’s nothing wrong with your guy having a friend whose company you don’t love—no one says spouses are required to adore each other’s friends, especially that one college pal who likes to pretend he and your hubby never left the frat house. What is wrong is insulting your man’s choice of friends. Your disdain may also suggest that you’d prefer to pick his friends for him—and no one wants to be told who they should be pals with. A better choice: “Oh, honey, you know I don’t always enjoy doing the same things as you and George, so why don’t you plan a guys’ night instead?’” suggests Ford. Remember, there’s no marriage rule that says you two have to do everything together; he might actually be relieved to have a little guy time with his pal that doesn't involve him having to worry if you’re having fun or are offended by his friend’s jokes. (And keep this in mind: If a friend is really awful, your husband is much more likely to see that on his own, over time, whereas if you nag him to drop the dolt it may never happen.) Photo: Paul Bradbury / Getty Images

8. “Please watch the kids. But don’t do this, take them here or forget that...”

This is a classic nervous-new-mom move: When you’re in anxiety mode, it can be hard to let go of childcare tasks (even though you would love to have more help). It’s also an attitude that can become a habit no matter how long you’ve been a mom, leading to some very unhealthy feelings: You may become resentful because he doesn’t pitch in, but you don’t always give him room to, either. At the end of the day, no husband is going to be inspired to be a better, more hands-on and involved dad if his every effort is shot down, says Orlov. “If he always feels like he’s wrong, he’ll only start to disconnect emotionally.” So let Dad be Dad. Trust that he knows as well as you do how to keep a child clean, safe and fed—even if his definitions of those tasks are slightly different than your own. That said, if there are things he needs to know, like how to use the stroller or what the pediatrician’s phone number is, definitely give him the rundown. Photo: Shutterstock

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Five Android smartphones you should avoid buying

2013-01-24T15:24:00.000+06:00

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Not all Android smartphones are created equal. Unlike the iPhone, which is generally updated by Apple once a year, there are literally dozens of smartphone models on the market powered by Google’s mobile operating software.
While there are a handful of fan favorites like the Nexus S 4G and Motorola Atrix, there are also plenty of dogs that suffer from poor performance issues, weak batteries, and stupidly unnecessary features. Based on input from our readers, personal experience and poor reviews, we detail here five Android phones you should avoid buying. Sometimes you get what you pay for, which is the case with this Metro PCS-branded Android smartphone. While we love the fact that Android phones can now be purchased without a contract for less than $100, the tiny screen size, spotty performance and poor battery life of the Huawei Ideos makes it an inferior device than even most feature phones. The appeal of its compact dimensions (4.1 inches tall and 2.2 inches wide) are overshadowed by a 2.8-inch touchscreen that makes typing and navigating through websites and applications awkward at best. This problem is amplified when you consider that most prospective users of this “starter Android phone” haven’t owned a smartphone before. There are certainly smarter ways to try out an Android. Releasing a phone based on state-of-the-art navigation technology was a good idea at first. But Garmin’s first (and only) entry into the crowded Android device market suffered from poor sales and a generally directionless marketing approach. The idea was to bring Garmin’s expertise at GPS satellite navigation into a smartphone. The trouble is, most regular Android smartphones include Google Maps already installed. For the vast majority of consumers, that app and the hundreds of other navigation-oriented Android apps produced by independent developers is all that will ever be needed. While there is no denying that the Garminfone works well as a standalone GPS device, for those wanting a true Android smartphone experience, it certainly doesn’t cut the mustard. As Google Maps now works offline too, which was one of the Garminfone’s original advantages, the device is becoming even more obsolete. Is it a phone? Is it a tablet? The Dell Streak somehow combines the worst qualities of each. What’s the point of having a portable device that places phone calls but doesn’t comfortably fit in your pocket? In terms of computing, the comparatively small Dell Streak is clearly inferior to the iPad and other tablet offerings. But don’t just take our word for it. Wall Street Journal tech guru Walt Mossberg listed the Streak as one of the worst devices he reviewed in 2010. Android software updates to the Streak have made it a more usable device than when Mossberg published his original review. However, not even the most advanced mobile operating system in the world can make up for the Streak’s clumsy form factor. Verizon subscribers have a serious beef with the Motorola Citrus, which has an average two-and-a-half star rating (out of five) based on 392 reviews. Among its drawbacks are a slow web browser that is difficult to read text on because of the small screen size. Many users complain about constantly having to manipulate the screen size in order to read text. The Citrus is also known to revert to Airplane Mode by itself and freeze without warning. For search and navigation, the Citrus pushes users to pre-installed Bing applications rather than providing easy access to Google and other applications. While it is common for smartphones to include this kind of "bloatware" upon purchase, for tasks as essential as search and navigation users should be free to make their own choices. There may be worse Android smartphones available, but Verizon subscribers who insist on buying a Motorola phone are better off paying for the superior Droid models. The Citrus is free to purchase with a two-year contract and readily available. But you’re still going to pay thousands of dollars for the duration of your deal, so it’s better to pony up earlier for a superior phone and let this lemon spoil.
OK, before you start with the angry emails for including this one, hear us out. The Thunderbolt is a great device with plenty of power. It has been well reviewed, sold well, and offers the advantage of blazing-fast connectivity on Verizon’s 4G network. But -- and we’re certainly not the only ones to point this out -- the Thunderbolt has been beset with quirks and problems since its launch. Randy Arrowood, from enthusiast blog Android Headlines, even went so far as to put it at number one in his Top 10 Android Phone Letdowns of 2011. Arrowood cited issues when transferring from a 4G to 3G network, constant restarts, and the most common issue of all: horrendous battery life. For sure, the Thunderbolt (and many others like it) are great devices with loads of style and power. But if you need an extra battery just to see you through the afternoon, or can’t use the phone to its utmost potential because of a lack of juice, then what’s the point of having all those features?

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More internet earning

2013-01-24T10:34:00.000+06:00

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Getting one way backlinks

2013-01-24T06:23:00.000+06:00

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Since Google page ranking was determined by how many backlinks your site has, bloggers have been attempting to get as many as backlinks as they can. Thus, it has made backlinks become the hot topic in the blogosphere. To get a high page ranking in Google, you don't just get as many backlinks as you can because it will take a lot of your time and your page rank may not be increasing. This is because mots of your backlinks are listed on low page ranked sites. The imporant things you need to know about backlinks is that quality backlinks are far more important than quantities of backlinks. I would say that 1 backlink in a high page ranked site would be equal to backlinks in 10-20 PR0-PR1 sites. That's why I am here today to share some quality backlinks that you can easily get from some popular sites such as StumbleUpon, Technorati, Google Bookmarks, Google Profiles, Blink List, Del.icio.us, directory free, puppyurl.com.

It would take sometime get backlinks from these sites, however, when your links have been indexed by Google on these sites, just watch your blog growing.

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Linux OS boot করুন অনেক গুলো সহজ পদ্ধতিতে

2013-01-24T01:44:00.000+06:00

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Ubuntu 12.04, including for Linux graphical WiMAX connection manager

2013-01-23T21:04:00.000+06:00

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Ubuntu 12.04, including for Linux graphical WiMAX connection manager

2013-01-23T16:46:00.000+06:00

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Post codes in blog

2013-01-23T12:14:00.000+06:00

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1. Go to Design / Layout
2. Click Edit HTML
3. Tick "Expand Widget Templates" box
4. Find the tag ""
5. Add this code just before/above the tag ""

Get widget

To add/remove any buttons, add/remove the following codes

....insert BUTTON CODE here....

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Make Money Creating Wedding-Memorial Scrapbooks

2011-04-12T18:05:00.000+06:00

If you're familiar with creating scrapbooks then you have a work at home business waiting to be opened in your lap. Scrapbooks are a wonderful way to treasure wedding memories or the memories of a lost loved one.

To create a wedding scrapbook for a client you will need to attend the wedding or reception in order to gather photographs and quotes from family and friends of the happy couple. For this you will need a digital camera and a small tape recorder or notepad.

If the scrapbook is meant to be a memorial for someone you will need to gather photographs of the person from his or her relatives. Try to get photos from all phases of the person's life. Ask the friends and family of the person to recall their memories of their loved one.

It would be best to use a tape recorder for this for accuracy. You don't want entire chapters about the person, just words he or she said or funny events that occurred in their life.

Use the wedding's theme for the wedding scrapbook. Use items from the wedding in the scrapbook, pressed flowers, ribbons, and lace from the veil, the couple's vows, and even the groom's tie. This scrapbook will become a family treasure. You want the scrapbook to bring the wedding to life each time someone opens it.

For the memorial scrapbook try to base the theme on the person being honored. What is the one personality trait or hobby or quirk of his or hers that the person's relatives remember best? Was the person a comedian, an avid fisher, or the scholarly type? Was the person a proud veteran? Maybe he or she was a community activist.

Try to use small objects from the person's life in the scrapbook to personalize it, a bit of cloth from a favorite dress, favorite flowers, awards, the ugly tie a child bought for a dad's birthday or for Father's Day, school drawings made by the person's children.

While performing either scrapbook service you must remember that discretion is of utmost importance. For example, leave out the embarrassing remark the bride's aunt made no matter how funny you may think it. Don't include an ugly quote or memory in the memorial scrapbook. Your clients won't appreciate it.
To advertise your wedding scrapbook service create eye-catching business cards and brochures on your computer and leave them at bridal shops , at stores with wedding registries, and place ads in your local newspaper. You might try church bulletins boards as well, as long as the powers that be don't mind.

For your memorial scrapbook service leave brochures at funeral homes, place newspaper ads, and leave your card with the ministers and priests in your town. Act with respect and discretion. In other words, don't hand out brochures at the funeral.

When a client asks about your service it would be wise to have a scrapbook you've already made on hand that you can show the client to demonstrate your skill. Your client wants to know what he or she is getting in exchange for their hard-earned money.

But how much should you charge?

People are willing to pay well for a truly beautiful scrapbook of their memories. $50 to $100 isn't unreasonable for the work and time you put into the scrapbook. You could charge more for a really detailed wedding scrapbook.

Charging more for a detailed memorial album would be up to you. But it might be wise to set a fixed price for memorial albums, for example $50 for a small album and $75 for a large album.

You don't want to seem as if you're trying to gouge the mourning family as doing so could harm your business reputation. Treat the family with respect and do the finest job possible on their scrapbook. Soon word of your skill will spread to other people interested in having a memorial album created.

Put your love for creating scrapbooks to work, and one day you can create a scrapbook about your successful business that you created one memory at a time.

Big Bang Booming - Back To The Future

2011-04-12T17:53:00.000+06:00

Theoretical cosmologists spend much of their time perfecting what is now known as the 'Big Bang ' theory . This concept originates from ideas percolating in the minds of scientists, theologians and astronomers down through the ages. However, much of what they consider as proof for the 'Big Bang' is dependent upon uncontrolled experimentation that is molded to meet their expectations.

Then God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. This ancient description of the creation of the universe found in the Book of Genesis may be accurate after all. The big bang theory describes the beginning of the universe as having been precipitated from an infinitesimally small point. In this small volume, all matter and energy was concentrated until its contents exploded in either a smooth expansion or an incredibly violent energetic explosion that formed the planets, stars and galaxies. Originally this theory had competition from what is called the 'steady state' theory whereby the universe is forever expanding and new matter and energy is created spontaneously within the space left by the receding galaxies. However, empirical observations have directed astronomers and scientists into the acceptance of the big bang model. But how did we get to this point in our understanding?

In the early part of the twentieth century the American astronomer Vesto Slipher and the German Carl Wirtz made some important astronomical discoveries. Using spectral analysis, Slipher deciphered the mixtures of gases contained in planetary atmospheres as well as nebulae. What distinguishes his findings is the discovery that most if not all galaxies outside of our own demonstrate what is called a 'Red Shift.' This shift is simply a change in the wavelength of the light emitted by those objects under investigation towards a longer wavelength. Wirtz similarly catalogued many red shifts of the nebulae which he chose to study. But it was still to early for them to realize the full potential meaning of their observations. That would wait until Einstein's General Relativity would be interpreted by other scientists through further mathematical analysis.

His contemporaries demonstrated to Einstein that his new Theory of General Relativity published in 1916 was not compatible with a 'static' universe of space time. The theory predicted an expanding or collapsing universe but not a fixed cosmos. Because he personally believed the universe to be an invariable space time continuum, Einstein engaged in a degree of scientific legerdemain. To correct what he perceived to be as 'flaws' in his theory he added the contrivance of a cosmological constant known as lambda to force the static universe into reality. Einstein's view of perfection in an unchanging space time continuum had led him down a blind alley as much as Aristotle's concept of perfection had brought that great philosopher into the error of believing in a static Earth at the center of the universe.

But even with the addition of the cosmological constant lambda, the universe was still found to be unstable and this whole affair would later be viewed by Einstein as his "greatest blunder." His cosmological acrobatics behind him, Einstein yielded the stage to others for a clearer understanding of his own theory. It fell to Alexander Alexandrovich Friedmann to consider the consequences of General Relativity without the constant lambda interfering with his study of these relationships. In doing so, the Russian mathematician and cosmologist derived the solution which predicts an ever expanding cosmological structure (1922), a prediction which was disagreeable with Einstein's concept of universal perfection. A couple of years later, Friedmann published his findings in "About the Possibility of a World with Constant Negative Curvature of Space." But the entire hypothetical construct still lacked a complete verbalization mathematically and theoretically.
Enter the Reverend Father Georges Lemaitre, a Catholic priest from Belgium. Rev. Fr. Lemaitre provided the equations necessary to formulate the basis of Big Bang theory in his work entitled "Hypothesis of the Primeval Atom." He postulated that the universe began as a primordial atom of infinitesimal volume and enormous mass energy as well as space and time and everything else comprising the future universe. At some point the universe began with the explosion of this super atom. Lemaitre published his theoretical ideas between the years 1927 and 1933 and speculated that the movement of the nebulae demonstrated the validity of the explosion of his cosmic super atom. Unfortunately, he also wrongly believed that cosmic rays might be an after effect of the super atom's big bang. These are now known to be generated not from a universal conflagration but from galactic sources unrelated to the big bang.

However, the new theory still lacked a major source of observational support. This would be provided by Edwin Hubble's observations of the redshift of galaxies. Taking up where Slither and Wiretap left off, Hubble employed a novel technique to discern the properties of the galactic movements. By choosing to observe stars that are known as Cepheid Variables he could more accurately make measurements. Cepheid are a type of star that brighten and darken and lighten back up in regular periods of time that are well known. Cepheid that have identical cycle times of brightening darkening and brightening again also have identical or nearly identical luminosity. Thus, if one compares the length of the cycle to the amount of light apparent to the observer it is possible to accurately prepare an estimate of the distance to the Cepheid.

In this manner, Hubble had found that the nebulae or galaxies exhibited a galactic red shift; in other words, that galaxies were receding away from ours at a speed which is correlated directly with the distance between our vantage point and the galaxy being studied. The further away the galaxies were the faster they appeared to be going in moving away from us. The results of these investigations is now known as Hubble's Law. Essentially, this law states that universe is in an ever expanding mode whereby the intergalactic distances continue to grow without bound into infinity. Hubble's Law depends upon the shifting of the wavelength of light and after having been delineated in 1929 has been subsequently proven over and over again. Further, Hubble's constant has been recalculated to a more 'perfect' value and retains a great probability of being 'recomputed' in the future based upon new observations.

Thus, it should be clear to the reader that our scientists have a fateful habit of introducing their preconceived notions of beauty into their models. From Aristotle's static Earth to Einstein's greatest blunder, the constant which forces a static universe, we proceed only from the wisdom of our weak minds. The more things change the more things stay the same. Man's hubris knows no limits in our attempts to understand things without the wisdom to comprehend its underlying meaning. Humble we are not. We are making the same mistakes we always have. Back to the future. To be continued...

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2011-03-07T19:57:00.001+06:00

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2011-02-26T20:41:00.002+06:00

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2011-02-26T20:39:00.000+06:00

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2011-01-07T17:57:00.021+06:00

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