Addis Ababy!

So long, and thanks for all the love

2014-04-25T12:28:00.002-07:00

I always get a little bummed (and very curious) with blogs that just sort of trail off mid-journey, so didn't want that to happen here. However, I think it's time for this wonderful blogging journey to come to an end.

For many reasons, we have made the difficult and careful decision not to pursue foster-adoption at this time. In fact, we are probably going to stay a one-child family for the foreseeable future, and that's just fine by us.
So, fellow adoptive families, thank you so much for being part of our life for the past 4 years. We have enjoyed getting to know you and have loved having others give advice and encouragement in this ever-so-difficult-but-rewarding journey. We appreciate you so much, and can't wait to follow your newest adoptions and other exciting journeys along the way!

XO,
Molly, Cory, and L

Yup, we're back.

2014-01-05T12:57:00.000-08:00

So, yeah, we are back in the adoption world. We got our new Adoption Toolkit in the mail.

Oh, the paperwork.

Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork.

Didn't we just do this? It sure feels like it. And we're not just ordering documents, although there is plenty of that, but now we are answering questions like, "What tools will you need to assist a child in reunifying with a birth family, even if you disagree with the decision?". Ummm, well, we won't be reunifying, right? Isn't that the whole "adopt" in "foster-adopt"? I know there's a risk, and a huge one in this particular process. It's just difficult to see that end of things at this stage of the game. I think I felt this way the first time--we are busy trying to get medical appointments, take 30 hours of training through the state (anyone want to babysit?), write detailed autobiographies, and on and on and on. We need to think clearly about what we want and can handle. And that's difficult while slogging through all of this paperwork.

Those questions, however, prompted me to dust off the old adoption books and print off some new articles on grief and loss. We do need to have our wits about us and make concrete decisions about the type of child that would best fit our family. This is such a totally different process than last time, so I don't really know the answer to that yet.

This Friday we attend a training at our agency (WA.CAP) and next month we begin PRIDE training, which is for foster parents (we must have a foster parent license to join the program). I think the PRIDE training will give us far more insight into the program and we will be able to gain some footing into how to expand our family in the best way possible for everyone. At least, I sure hope so--it's a lengthy and involved training, for sure.

So, for now, trainings, trainings, and more trainings. Lots of paperwork. Prepping for two more home visits. The list is huge, but we've done it before.

Welcome 2014! I couldn't predict the outcome of this year if I tried.

Back in the saddle, again

2013-11-26T22:15:00.001-08:00

It's been awhile since I've visited this space. I'm not really sure how this blog will continue but we have mucho news-o, so for the time being this blog is resurrected.

But first, news of L:

Official stats: He grew a touch over 5.75 inches and gained 10 lbs this year. Seriously. Went from 40th percentile for height and 90th for weight to 75th for height and 90th for weight. From a fireplug to a beanpole. Ok, not really, but I would be sad if he lost his big meaty cheeks so it's ok.
He started preschool two mornings per week, which was pretty difficult at first. We did a Mommy 'n Me version of the class last year, so I was a little surprised at how upset he was when I left, but after a few sessions he decided he likes it. He still has little interest in the art, but is starting to write his name and can now draw pretty recognizable faces, so it's been good for him. They work on social skills a lot--making friends, learning to sit at circle, sharing the train set--all of the normal, everyday preschool skills that are a lot of hard work for 4 year-old boys.
He is talking up a storm, and is just starting to change his sentences to the proper tense: "I do see the crane truck. I mean, I did see it." Color me impressed.
We had a play date at a new friend's house, and he gave her a haircut while the other mom and I were eating lunch downstairs. Yup.
He started soccer and spent most of his time on the field pointing out airplanes flying overhead and falling in love with one of the little girls. Mark my words, someday he will marry a redhead.
I had his first Life Book made by our Family Day, and he usually loves it. There are days where he does not want anything to do with it, and that's ok as well.
I made a cheesy video of our first year.

And our news:

We are officially starting the foster-adoption program! We are pretty nervous about it as that's the program people love to share horror stories about (and boy, are some of them doozies) but we are working with the same agency and feel like they have a good reputation and a solid handle on the process. The first step was actually mailing in the application, which I did today. Selfie! I really should have made a duck face.

We want this adoption, which will likely be a very different journey from our China adoption, to be as honored and special. So, as with the mailing of our very first adoption application, time for a celebratory glass of bubbly!

So, the blog. I'm not really sure how much I can and should share about this adoption. For now, it's a set process and just normal procedures (homestudies-2 of them--and lots of paperwork and classes). After a certain point, that changes considerably. For the time being, I will update on our process, and if the time comes that shutting down is required or what's best, that will happen, too.

A very Happy Thanksgiving to you all!!!! We have so very much to be grateful for this holiday season. No doubt about that.

Dusty Crophopper for Halloween (from the movie Planes)

At Summer's End

2013-09-04T12:07:00.000-07:00

Our summer continued right along, with a train trip to California that ended up being really pretty fun considering it consisted of 31 hours on a train with a 3-year old (each way, mind you). L loved it, there was plenty of room to move around, beautiful sights to see, and during the WA/OR portion of the journey they even had park rangers narrating the passing scenery. Well done, Amtrak, well done.

All aboard!

Wearing a Thomas shirt, playing with a train set, eating Thomas cookies, on a train.
The good life.

Family time was had by all in beautiful California, with lots of beach/exploration time as well.

We rode on Thomas the Train:

And went on a boat ride with our cousins.

And on to autumn, which I am fighting tooth and nail, to be honest. This summer was the warmest and sunniest since...forever? It's been hard to see it winding down. On the other hand, here come apples and pumpkins and costumes and schedules.

L starts soccer tomorrow (does a practice, clinic and game a week sound like a little much to anyone else? I mean, he's three). He starts preschool this week, as well as gymnastics. We are discussing our upcoming Family Day, his birthday, and Halloween costumes. How are we here again?

Tangled amid the daily life conversations we are circling the 2nd adoption discussion. We want to take it on. We really, really want another child. We feel comfortable with limb deficiency issues, and would be willing to take on something more complicated. L would benefit from a sibling in multiple ways, no doubt. We're 40, and have other life plans that would have to be on hold to make an adoption happen. And those plans are also important, and would benefit L in multiple ways. Entering the adoption world again--the waiting, the invasive paperwork, the cost, feeling like other unknown persons get to decide our family structure--is just....hard. But if we want another child, that's what we have to do.

So maybe we will. Or maybe not. Too soon to tell. So, onward to autumn!

Summertime

2013-07-13T22:33:00.002-07:00

We've been enjoying the heck out of our summer, with the best yet to come.

The most important thing that has happened? L's hearing in his right hear (surgery ear) is normal. This was completely unexpected. We thought it might get him close and hearing aids would do the rest, but no! I asked our audiologist what had to happen next, and she said the most beautiful words I've heard in a long time: "His hearing in that ear is normal. And we don't treat normal." So next year we will complete surgery on his left ear, and our hope is that he will be out of hearing aids by Kindergarten.

In addition, he did not qualify for speech/language services at Children's. He's behind his peers by a few months, which just amazes us--he didn't hear/speak English until 9 mos ago, and couldn't hear until less than 2 months ago. Craziness. We are having him evaluated by the school district (adding in OT as well for the limb deficiency) in September, so we'll see what they have to say. Color me seriously shocked.

Other than that, just enjoying the sun!

Fishing for the first time at Lake Curlew in eastern WA:

Loving hanging out on the dock

Happy Dada

Worn out.

Hanging out at Lake Roesigal:

Visit from the cousins:

On the monorail to the Space Needle

Fourth of July in Montana, fishing the Big Hole River:

Not a fan of fireworks. At all.

Coming up? Contain your jealousy...we are going to meet Thomas the Train tomorrow! L is a huge Thomas fan, so it should be thrilling. And next week, he and I brave a train ride to California. 30 hrs on a train with a 3 year old. It will be really fun or really not. We'll see. It's all in the planning, right?

8 Month Update

2013-05-29T20:46:00.004-07:00

I'm not sure if anyone is still reading this--it's been a while. How time flies, huh?

Things here have been interesting--good, but interesting.

L underwent surgery on his right ear to rebuild his eardrum. Once he has healed we will retest his hearing--probably in August--to find out how successful the procedure was. Surgery was about 2 hours long, and as they were messing with his inner ear he was pretty dizzy and nauseous when waking up. His middle ear, or the teensy-eensy bones that clank around, showed scarring from infection, so it will remain to be seen if he will need permanent hearing aids. We are realllllly hopeful that the surgery will do the trick, but realistically we are probably in for a much longer road.
His left ear was fitted for a hearing aid. I read a million stories of huge, massive toddler battles about wearing hearing aids, but L decided almost immediately that he *loves* his. He wants to wear it at night, and asks for it each morning. Something to be very thankful for.
He makes this face when he hears something new, which is about every 10 seconds:

The list of new things he can hear are kind of astounding--we honestly didn't realize how bad things were and kind of didn't believe the audiologists when they gave us results of his hearing tests. He can now hear the dog walking on the hardwoods, Cory sneezing (which is kind of like a bomb going off), the garbage truck outside, and the list goes on and on and on. Nuts. I can't tell yet if his language is improving--I think I'm around him a bit to much to really know. He will have a formal evaluation in the fall by our school district and hopefully will qualify for speech and language services.

The most interesting thing about the last few weeks in relation to adoption is the increase in...I don't know...pity stares. I've had a stranger a day tell me I'm amazing for "taking on such challenges" --between the limb deficiency and his bright yellow hearing aid, we have now achieved sainthood. Good to know. We are also told how "inspirational" he is, and I just don't have a response to that. I mean, what are his options? He's missing one hand and is wearing a hearing aid. People get along just fine with a lot worse than that. Seriously, he is the goofiest kid around, with a laugh that rivals Eddie Murphy, who thinks it's hilarious to ask for eggs and poop for breakfast. He's normal. But with obvious and noticeable differences, I really need to work on appropriate, deflecting responses.

Other than that, things are just plugging right along. L is excelling at Little Gym, where he's making friends and is increasingly following directions. We were out for a week when he was Mr. Snot Faucet, and when we returned he was met with lots of "Yay! L is back!" from the other kiddos in the class, which made me happy. He's a rough and tumble little guy, and I suspect can be overwhelming for other kids at times. But apparently they appreciate his enthusiasm as well. The other kids are also very interested in his arm and on more than one occasion a child has taken his arm and looked closely at it (he has several small finger buds). He responds by picking up their hand and looking closely at it with a I don't really get what we're doing here, but I'm game look on his face. Funny, and at least at this age the explanation that "he was born that way" suffices. I know that won't last forever.

We are continuing with preschool on Fridays in anticipation of him going on his own in the fall, plus have signed him up for soccer and are considering hockey (husband's childhood game). We've been working L dressing by himself, and he's doing well--we are down from about 40 minutes to around 5 when he's focused. Zipping and buttoning are still challenging, but he's getting there. It was an exercise in teamwork--he and I figuring out each step together. The limb deficiency does make a difference when pulling on jeans.

And soooo, pictures!

First ride on a ferry!

His preschool's playground space shuttle--perfection.

At the airshow--not really sure about this!

Changing the train line (on an old and unused track!) in Montana

All ready for surgery!

The Faces of L

2013-03-21T12:52:00.000-07:00

Sad.

Mad.

Surprised!

Happy.

But usually photos of L turn out like this:

Or this:

I would have been in big trouble during the olden/film-canister days. Digital cameras sure make it easier to get decent kid/pet shots.

We are almost at our six months home milestone, and it has been more than six months since we became parents in China. Hard to believe.

Things continue to continue. We are in a good rhythm and L seems generally pretty happy and easygoing. He has significant hearing loss due to past infections, which was upsetting for sure; however, it doesn't look like it's permanent loss so we may be able to find some solutions in the near future, which will include hearing aids and surgery. I'm hoping this helps his speech--while he is picking up English quickly, he is darned difficult to understand. And at the same time, having our little guy under general anasthesia is just terrifying. So we'll see what happens.

L is officially signed up for preschool in the fall! I'm so excited, as I think he'll enjoy it, get a lot out of it and will love the social scene. It's only 2 mornings a week so we will still have lots of time together. We are currently attending a Mommy 'n Me version of the class one morning a week, which has been great. Same classroom, same teachers, same general setup as what he'll experience in the fall, but he gets to figure it all out with me right there. I think (hope) it will help with the transition in September. His current obsessions are the space shuttle and trains and his classroom has pretty nice versions of both,so that's been a huge hit. He has little to no interest in arts and crafts, but loves the sensory table, playing outside, trains, cars, books, and puzzles. It's a little shocking to us, who have a theater, film and art degree between us. But he's his own person for sure, and is blazing his own trail.

Other than that, nothing much new round these parts. L continues to be smart, silly, hilarious and engaging. We can't imagine our lives without him.

Four Month Update

2013-02-05T20:48:00.000-08:00

First of all, Happy (Early) Chinese New Year!

We've been home with L for a little over four months, which is hard to believe. It seems like yesterday we just staring at his picture, and at the same time it's hard to imagine our lives without him in it. So, how are things going?

Sleep:
L recently transitioned to sleeping in his own room--yay!!! Until now, he slept in a crib next to my side of the bed. For roughly the first 2 months home he woke 4-5 times a night to use the bathroom or just hold my hand. Since Christmas we've been able to take him to the bathroom right before we head to bed and he's made it through the night just fine. His transition went pretty well overall, so he was ready (and so were we). He took to waking at around 3:45am for a few days, but we started hooking up his light to a timer and the new rule is that he can't get up until the light turns on. So far it's worked, so we'll see.

Health:
Due to past ear infections which were likely untreated, he has permanent holes in his eardrums. He will need surgery to repair these at some point but specialists like to wait until children are in the 5-6 year-old range as the surgery is far more effective. We just had his hearing tested, and this did show some definite hearing loss. The tests were completed about halfway, so I'm not sure yet what this means (hearing aids, surgery sooner than expected), but have decided not to completely freak out until everything is done and verified. Hopefully it's fixable at some point. He's learning English at a pretty fast clip, so I know he can hear something. We'll see.

Attachment:
I think L is showing excellent attachment behaviors. He is outgoing and social but wants one of us nearby at all times. We've started a few classes, including soccer, Little Gym, and preschool at the library (one day per week, 1 hour), and he checks in with me constantly. He's definitely not ready to be on his own yet but I'm hoping this fall he can start preschool 1-2 mornings per week. However, I think he enjoys being around other kids and learning new things, so it's been fun. I'm dying to start swimming lessons but the perforated eardrum issue needs to be resolved first.

General Development:
L's strengths lie in gross motor and social skills. He gets along with other kids generally well and is proving to be pretty good at whole-body skills (skipping, jumping, climbing). He is absolutely right-handed, but without a right hand, so that can complicate things a tad. He will always try things with his right side first and then switch to his left. His brain creates workarounds--this kid will have some amazing critical thinking skills some day. His fine motor skills need some work in large part due to lack of experience with things like crayons and scissors, as well as the right-left hand issue. For example, we were using a crayon to do a maze and I noticed he was ham-fisting the crayon, so I showed him how to properly hold it. He watched me, then attempted to switch the crayon to his right arm. His brain was saying "yup, I can do that with my right hand" and he had a much harder time with his left. With practice, however, he was able to transfer that skill to the left hand. Skills we are working on include using chopsticks, putting pennies in a bank, ripping paper, cutting paper, and gluing. It'll come in time.

Of course...pictures!

Pizza at the San Diego airport

Backward on the balance beam!

Proud of his big-boy room

The New Year

2013-01-11T11:58:00.001-08:00

We had a wonderful holiday season in which traveled to California for an extended visit with my family. L had endless playtime with his older cousins, discovered that Santa does in fact bring what you ask for (a garbage truck with flashing lights--he was mighty specific about that), and that the Christmas season just pretty much rocks.

He was a trooper on the flights although he has decided that flying is "scawwy". Which puts me, a former Valium-flyer, into the awkward position of assuring him that flying is super duper fun! We'll be juuuust fine! all the while biting my nails and trying not to bolt for the exits. But all's well that ends well, and we are home in rainy Seattle.

Our old doggie had a stroke last weekend, which put a scare in us, although she has recovered remarkably well. She's around 14 years old, so we know this is probably the beginning of not-fun stuff but are happy that we seemingly dodged a bullet this time around. We also caught the Alien Death Flu that is going around but are on the road to recovery.

So onward to 2013! We made a list of goals for the year and on it is to begin our next adoption. The past five years impacted us a great deal financially which will play a large role in future family building. We want to give our current family plenty of time to gel and at the same time I turn 40 in 2 months (what?), so if it's going to happen we'd like to formally start a new adoption this summer/fall. And there's plenty of prep to happen before that, so ..... we'll see.

Happy 2013!!

One Year Ago

2012-12-14T07:40:00.000-08:00

One year ago today, we received pre-approval to adopt this little boy:

One look at his referral picture and we were smitten. Those eyes! Those cheeks! Technically, you are supposed to look at the file before the picture. Has anyone ever done that?

One year ago, our lives changed. We still had mountains of anxiety and a long way to go. But it was the beginning of a wonderful journey to our family.

We have so much to be thankful for.

The road to adoption is incredibly hard--at least, it was for us. Yet in the end, we get to tuck this little boy into bed each night.

And introduce him to the wonders of the holidays.

Sleep can be hard. Separation is tough, as are language barriers. It's not perfect but it's perfect for us. And it's worth it--oh, boy, is it worth it.

Happy holidays from our family to yours.

Doctor Week

2012-11-14T13:44:00.001-08:00

Poor L has endured several trips to the doctor over the past week for a variety of reasons:

**His first well-child visit, which we had been putting off as we were still triaging other areas, such as sinus issues and athlete's foot. As those have mostly cleared up, we took the plunge into the vaccine-laden well-child, which pretty much sucked. He received 6 shots and a blood draw (and flu mist up his nose), and screamed like nothing I've ever heard. I cried, he screamed, it was messy. And it's over. He still needs boosters, but nothing like this first appointment. Tylenol/Motrin staggering helped a lot, but he was running a low grade fever and was sore for a few days.

**Limb Deficiency Center: We had a meeting at Seattle Children's with the limb deficiency team, consisting of the head of the department, a geneticist, and a dysplasia nurse. The end result--his limb deficiency is not genetic, was likely caused by a blood clot in utero, and will require zero treatment. In the future I may request an occupational therapy referral for things like buttoning shirts and opening Ziplocs, but for now we're just going to figure it out with him. We discussed a prosthetic in-depth, and there are two distinct, colliding schools of thought on this area of limb deficiencies. This particular doctor felt (strongly!) that prosthetics are necessary in certain cases (lower limb deficiencies, multiple limb deficiencies) but for L, it would do no good and would probably be quite frustrating. As he pointed out, hands are used for sensation as much as for grasping, which can be hindered with the no-sensation prosthetic. L has tendons and nerves that run to the end of his arm, so if our decision changes in the future, he's a good candidate for one. Lots of people use prosthetics for specific activities at different times in their lives. Again, two very divergent opinions about prosthetics exist, and I'm sure we will try one at some point. But not now.

**ENT: L came home with a sinus infection, which we treated with a kiddie Z-pac, which is pretty standard. A few days after the antibiotics were finished, I found bloody pus leaking from his ear--yup, ear infection with a ruptured ear drum. While he still had major antibiotics in his system. Hmmm. So, another round of antibiotics. And this week, another ruptured ear drum (same ear), so yet a third round of antibiotics, and a referral to ENT. He doesn't even let us know that there is an issue until it's ruptured, dang it. Of course, we don't have any information on past medical issues, so who knows what's been going on? So we will throw ourselves on the mercy of the ENT professionals, and hope we get things figured out as soon as possible.

Other than this, things are going well in our little world. I'm working 24 hours a week from home, and it's actually really hard, and at the same time I really can't complain as at least I'm at home at all. I love my job, but working for a social services agency means that I would essentially be working to pay for childcare, so this solution is the only one at this point that makes any kind of sense. And I'm grateful to have employers that get it and are willing to make it happen.

L continues to be a rambunctious little boy, who is social and funny and obstinate and very, very loud. He loves all things construction, is very interested in fish and sealife and seems to consider Maggie his bestest friend in the whole world. We've done some mom-group activities and he generally does well with other kids, as much as any 3-year-old does, and enjoys having structured activities throughout the day. And so, frankly, do I, so it works.

Watching the garbage trucks, holding his garbage truck. It was amazing, indeed.
And garbage men are seriously awesome people--they never fail to acknowledge enamored little boys.

Fun at the Seattle Aquarium

Halloween Fun

2012-11-02T07:38:00.002-07:00

Another surreal holiday down! We had lots of fun on Halloween, although I wonder what L thought of the whole thing. We did a little trick-or-treating, but the overall Halloween creepiness wasn't really appreciated by L--the pumpkins we carved last weekend freaked him out when lit. Which, of course, we didn't know until it was bedtime, and L said his first actual sentence in English (besides "I love you"--"I lobba"), which was "Bye-bye Dada sca-wy pumpkin!". Oops. And then the squirrels came around and ate the faces off, so, you know. We ended up playing Halloween down a bit this year. But he loved his costume and likes some types of candy, so there ya go.

He dressed as a nice doggie (not a "sca-wy" one) and Maggie was a ferocious dinosaur. Yes, we are those people who dress up the dog. She's a sport.

L had a routine doc appt ahead of time, hence the blown-up latex glove. Not part of the costume. :-)

Three! (and other stuff)

2012-10-22T13:19:00.000-07:00

Our little L turned three this past week. I know I've said it before, but the fact that we got to celebrate his birthday with him was one of the biggest gifts we were given in the timing of the adoption. Choosing just the right present (a Big Wheel) and finding a cake he likes (a brownie--he's not much of a sweets boy just yet) was fun and something we had dreamed about for a long, long time. We had family over for a small party, and I teared up when we all sang the happy birthday song. He absolutely loved the attention, and our families were generous and thoughtful, and I think were as excited as we were to be at his party. It's been a long time coming.

Checking out his new dump truck and school bus.

Getting ready to blow out the candle.

Post-party roughhousing with Dada and cousins. These were some tired kids at the end of the day!

We also had our first post-adoption home visit, which must happen in the first month of custody per China. The visit went really well, and I was far less stressed than homestudy visits of the past. Of course, I still cleaned like a maniac, but some things will never change.

We took L to the pumpkin patch as well, and I think he enjoyed it although sometimes I think he must think we're a bit nuts. He loves pumpkins, though, and insisted that we not only purchase one for each of us but that we pick out one for Maggie (our dog) as well.

Fun at the pumpkin patch!

Happy Mama

Happy Dada

Things here continue to go pretty well, actually. Over the past week or so, L has started to show some real interest in learning English. He's now repeating most of what we say, and is holding things up so we can tell him the English word for it. In the past, he usually corrected us when we would tell him an English word --he'd look at us like we were just a bit slow, and repeat the word in Mandarin. It's complicated, this whole international adoption thing (understatement, yes). We are dying to communicate with him, and since he talks constantly, we would really love to know what in the heck he's saying. But losing his native language is sad--it's a big, big loss. There are certain little catchphrases he says that have now entered our vocabulary that we don't want him to lose, such as "Baloo!" which means stinky and is accompanied by a funny face. We have lots of video of him speaking Mandarin. And we need him to have some vocabulary to communicate with those around him, and our Mandarin is pretty limited. So we're working on it.

10 Days Home

2012-10-08T13:00:00.001-07:00

These first ten days have been a pretty amazing learning experience for all three of us. L is adjusting rapidly to the new home, toys, smells, foods, and schedule. This is probably a really boring post, but I want to get these thoughts down so I don't forget them :-)

Pets: We have three cats and a dog, the youngest being 12, so essentially we own the Home for Elderly Pets. While sometimes one of them gets a wild hair and is playful, generally they lounge, eat, and sleep. L was literally screaming with terror when he first met them--trying to tell us that there is a cat in the house! Cat in the hooouuuse!! Get it out!! and we were thinking oh, kid, you haven't yet met the dog. So the first few days were hard for all four of them as they figured out how to live together in the same (small) space. Now, however, L is wildly interested in them, wants to touch their eyes and teeth specifically, and is learning to pet gently. He has gone into a modified time-out for kicking Maggie-dog and being too rough with Dee-cat, although these are actually the only two times he's needed to take a break so far. He's learned to surreptitiously feed Maggie his food and blames his gas on her, and the cats just stay up high when they are not in the mood, which is most of the time.

Schedule: We are feeling more and more over the jetlag thing every day. Consistency is key, so he is going down at the same time each evening, and takes one mid-day nap. He's sleeping between 11 and 12 hours per night, getting up at least once to go to the bathroom. I think we may bag the nighttime pull-ups as he's had only one accident since being home, the first night. We'll see. He currently sleeps in his crib in our room, and seems to take comfort from having us so near.

Health: L came home with a sinus infection, a general body rash, and a raging case of athlete's foot all over both feet. We met with his pediatrician, who prescribed antibiotics for the sinus infection, which is now gone, Cort-Aid for the rash, which is also gone, and prescription cream for his feet. My feeling is that his shoes were rarely, if ever, off in China, and that the athlete's foot is going to take a long time to resolve completely. But the itchy-burning feeling seems like it has decreased, which also makes for a more peaceful nighttime. It was driving him crazy, poor little guy.

Limb Deficiency: L was born without a right hand. He has a little wrist bone, so can manipulate the end of his forearm just a tad, which helps a surprising amount. He is extremely adept to figuring out how to make things work, although he seems to be naturally right-handed as he always tries with that arm first. His brain has created some amazing work-arounds, however, and he can do almost anything with his left. We've been doing small activities to work on fine-motor skills with the left, such as putting pennies into a piggy bank, and he does just fine. We have a meeting with limb deficiency doctors in November and are curious to see what their take is. Some children wear prosthetics, some don't, and some do for certain activities (such as playing guitar) which require two hands. The first prosthetic most children use, per our pediatrician, is kind of like a scooper, called a "hook". Thus, we will be able to tell people:

Mah boy's got a good right hook!

(ha ha! get it?)

Anyway, we'll see what the doctors say and use their guidance to see what next steps, if any, we will take.

Language: L talks constantly, and is now showing interest in learning English words. He has his old standbys of "Helllooooo" and "Bye-bye", and has added a few more, including hammer (hammah), kitty (kitt-AY), Maggie (Magg-AY), please (wuh-LAY), thank you (daydoo) and how are you? (hello loooo). He has a handful more, and is adding to his list daily. If he has a question, he still adds "ma" on the end of the sentence, which is a question word in Mandarin--if you add "ma", it makes the sentence a question--"Behfast Mama ma" means "Breakfast, Mama?". It's been such an interesting process.

Work:
Cory went back to work the Monday after we returned, although he worked short days the first three days back---thank goodness. He's now full-time so we call several times a day and check in. L loves his daddy, and wonders often where he is, saying "Dada wo-looo" ("Dada's at work"). I go back part-time from home next week, so am trying to enjoy my last maternity leave week. Sigh.

And now, pictures!! For some reason, I can only attach one at a time--so here ya go.

Brushing teeth is so much fun!

Home

2012-09-30T15:48:00.001-07:00

We are home safe and sound. After a lovely meeting of family at the airport, we went home to our clean home (thanks, Mom and Dad!) with dinner waiting (thanks, Mom and Dad!) and attempted to get some sleep. The flight...well, it's over. Wasn't horrible, wasn't fun...and it's over. We got through it, and the best feeling ever was passing through customs. L continues to do well, although sleep is confusing and difficult right now, and will continue to be for a while, I'm sure.

There's no place like home, and we are so happy to be back as a family of three.

Ok, another attempt at pictures!

Final Day--Packed and Ready

2012-09-27T06:10:00.000-07:00

Today was mostly preparations for tomorrow--the Big Flight Home. We leave our hotel at o-dark-thirty to head to the airport in Guangzhou. We fly to Beijing, then have a 5-hour layover, then straight to Seattle. Total travel time from takeoff in Guangzhou to landing in Seattle is around 20 hours, but after we land we get to go home to our own house, with our own rooms, bathrooms, kitchen, and animals that we miss tremendously. The second flight begins at 5PM China time, so we are hoping that after takeoff, a busy day, and some dinner L just may fall asleep. That's a lot to ask, but here's hoping!

So we are pretty well-packed, other than nightclothes and toiletries, and our suitcases are weighed and zipped up. We went back the store today to purchase extra toys and snacks so L just maybe can handle such a long flight. He's also gotten sort of interested in some of the apps we have on our Kindle, so maybe that will help for a minute at a time or so.

We also have his Chinese passport in hand, US visa inside, and a packet of information that we cannot open, but will hand customs in the US as we enter the country. This will make L a US citizen.

So this is it! Come on, USofA!!!

Day 6 - Consulate Appt

2012-09-26T06:06:00.002-07:00

Today was the Consulate appointment, which is the last official step before we are allowed to return to the US with L in tow. We were ushered into the US Consulate, which is in a tall office building surrounded by coffee shops and travel agencies, with the main locators being several small signs and a metal detector. We joined about 30 other families in a large conference room, where we sat for about an hour waiting for the group oath to be taken. L ate a snack and practiced his new English words ("Hulooooow" and "Bye-bye bus!") while we waited, and then began to play in the small plastic house at the back of the room.

The adoption officer came into the room--or actually, spoke to us over a microphone from behind bulletproof glass--and explained the paperwork we need to enter the US, what the oath means, and next steps. We all stood up, raised our right hands, and essentially promised that the masses of paperwork we submitted is accurate and honest. Then each family was asked to come to a window--sort of like at a bank--and go over paperwork and discuss final details. This was the point where L completely lost it. I would guess that most families of toddlers avoid places like the DMV for hours on end, and we've been pretty much spending long periods of time in such places for the past 10 days, and he is just done-done-done. So in the process, he hit Cory and bit him on the shoulder, which are two behaviors we hadn't seen yet (he later checked Cory's shoulder, and kissed it). So Cory took him to the back of the room, and gave him some crackers, and he quieted down and fell asleep. The adoption officer helping me asked, "Can your husband handle this situation?" and I said, well, yeah. He said, in all earnestness, "I would NEVER be able to handle it. I would just leave it to my wife." I thought that was pretty funny and surprisingly honest.

But in the end we got through it fine, and I think this is the last of the big government buildings we will need to hang around at while we are here. Thank goodness for that.

Tomorrow we pick up L's visa, and other than that, we will just hang out, pack, go to the pool, and enjoy one more day here in Guangzhou.

One day and a wakeup, and we are on our way home.

:-)

Guangzhou Day 5

2012-09-25T05:40:00.001-07:00

Another somewhat tiring but mellow day down. We spent the morning at a local-ish garden/playground/museum on the outskirts of Guangzhou. This was supposed to be a quiet, touristy excursion, except that, by my estimate, at least half of China's schoolchildren were also in attendance. They were adorable in their matching uniforms, and very, very interested in us. I had the following conversation one or two hundred times this morning:

Child: Hello. Nice to meet you.
Me: Nice to meet you, too.
Child: What is your name?
Me: Molly. What is your name?
Child: (insert name)
Child: Have a great day!

Next Child: Hello. Nice to meet you.

And on, and on, and on. I taught English in China a while back, and remember how important it was to practice skills on actual English-speakers, so it was fine and funny. L, of course, had to get in on the action by calling "Hulooooooooow!!" to everyone, and the schoolkids responded appropriately and kindly to him. So that was especially nice.

We got back in the afternoon, had a late nap, a quick dip in the pool, and an early Cantonese dinner (YUM!!).

Tomorrow is the day we've been waiting for: our appointment at the Consulate. This is where we take an oath to take care of L and finish paperwork. His Chinese passport with a visa to enter the US should be available Thursday, and then we will wing out way back home.

So, so close.

Guangzhou Day 4

2012-09-24T06:39:00.001-07:00

Today was another mellow day for us. We joined up with the other families traveling on our general schedule, and trekked to the medical clinic to have the TB tests read. Everyone passed--one little kiddo in the group was borderline, but all was fine in the end.

After this, we traveled to Shamian Island, a European area of Guangzhou where the US Consulate used to be located (and thus, where many adopting families would stay). Shamian Island is quiet, beautiful, and green. While it is very, very humid and hot here, we had a nice stroll along the main area called The Bund, and did a little souvenir shopping. After lunch at the famous Lucy's, we headed back to our hotel, where L went down for a nap. He slept badly last night, seemingly having nightmares or night terrors, so a nap was definitely in order. We are hoping for a better night tonight.

We planned on staying in for a dinner of instant noodles and fruit, and this turned out to be an inadvertently excellent choice. We ventured out after his nap to Trust Co, which is essentially WalMart, and it began to rain. Now, we are used to rain--I mean, really used to rain. This was something else entirely, sheets of downpour turning the roads into rivers. We quickly finished up our shopping, which included some new construction-vehicle toys and a play bus for L, some new snacks, and wipes (he's potty trained, but is a pretty messy eater at times). We were soaked by the time we got back to the hotel, which is when the craziness really began. Lightning and thunder cracked across the sky about every 30 seconds for several hours, the lights flickered, and the rain is still coming down. We are seeing some flashes now and again, but the fireworks have mostly passed. This, plus L deciding to take a ginormous poop in the bathtub, made for an exciting evening.

Tomorrow, weather permitting, will be another quiet day. The group is heading to a park with a big playground on the outskirts of town for the morning while we wait for L's US visa to be processed.

L continues to do well. He seems interested in us, wants only us to hold him, is concerned when we are not around, and identifies us by Mama and Baba. He is showing more control issues around food--all of the food on the table is his, right? He does not stop eating until all of the food is gone, so we are giving him kid-sized portions of everything until he can understand when he is full. Things to work on. On the plus side, he's now eating all kinds of veggies and fruit, especially corn, watermelon, peas, tomatoes, and cucumbers. We'll keep giving him as many veggies as we can until he realizes he can say no. We also figured out the name situation, as he doesn't respond to anyone using his name, even native speakers. I finally showed him a picture of himself, and asked who it was. While the name he used is correct, he pronounces it completely differently from the numerous other versions we've heard--he drops most of the consonants and has a different order of names than we'd seen in the past. Once we got that down, we've been able to get his attention far more easily.

So things are fine here in our weird little international adopting world. L is a joy and we are so fortunate to have him as our son. He gets cuter by the minute, is outgoing and friendly, and is super smart and interested in everything. He's amazing, and we are so lucky.

Guangzhou Day 3

2012-09-23T04:36:00.000-07:00

Today was exactly what we were hoping for, operating entirely on our own schedule. L slept for about an hour more than we've seen, probably because we weren't up moving around and getting ready for the day. We took a trip outside to see more of the area, and found (cue chorus of angels) a Starbucks. It was such a treat, and apparently if you don't specify the type of milk in your latte, it is made with whole. Yumminess ensued.

We had some lunch in our room, then L went down for a long nap. This afternoon, we went swimming, and he proved far more daring than yesterday, going in the big pool and leaving the steps while clinging to one of us. We think he's never really played in water before, but is absolutely loving it. Tonight we had some dinner, a long bath, some play time, and he's down for the night. He's a big-time index finger sucker, with his finger sporting a huge callous--and I swear it's a lighter color, as if he's sucked the life right out of it. But it's a good indication for when he's getting tired, so we can fend off meltdown behavior at least a little bit.

I think L enjoyed today. He seemed more relaxed, slept sounder, and was less concerned with us leaving him-- he's gotten upset with the game peek-a-boo in the past week, but today found it highly entertaining. He has officially learned a new word: "Hu-loooooow!!!", accompanied by a big wave and is very proud of himself. He has yet to learn the word "no", but I'm sure it's just a matter of time. He did throw a hissy fit about losing iPod priviledges after he threw it on the floor, but it was over relatively quickly and we moved on with the day.

Tomorrow we go back to the clinic to have the TB test read. As he has had no reaction to the shot, this should go smoothly and quickly. After the clinic, our guide is taking the families to Shamian Island, where the US Consulate used to reside, and which apparently has a European flair. We have heard a lot about the area, and are excited to see it.

Guangzhou Day 2

2012-09-22T06:11:00.000-07:00

Today was the dreaded medical appointment for L and the other adoptive parents on a similar schedule to ours. This took place in an unbelievably crowded medical clinic, and consisted of four different parts: height/weight, ear/nose/throat, surgical, and a TB test. Older kids also have to have vaccinations, but we can complete these in the US. We also had his picture taken for his visa.

The first three stations went flawlessly. The doctors were fast, and as this was a Chinese clinic, he understood what they were saying. They used squeaky dog toys to get the kids' attention, and it worked like a charm. In the surgical station, they measured his limbs and head, checked his skin for problems (he has some "Mongolian spots" on his back, which should fade in time), and looked in his mouth. L was born without his right hand, so the doctor spent some time looking at the area. L was happy to oblige, lifting his shirt, taking off his shoes, showing the doctors his new Magnadoodle.

The TB test was far, far easier than I had anticipated as well. Those doctors were so incredibly fast, the entire thing was over in about 3 seconds flat. I'm not kidding--it was amazing. He started to cry, but it was over and he spent the next 10 minutes inspecting the little bump that comes with the injection, which has since gone away (yay!). Some of the older kiddos had to have up to 5 vaccinations and had a pretty tough time, so we were grateful that we got off so easy with L.

We got back to the hotel in time for lunch and a nap, then went to the pool for a swim. This was also a hit, as the hotel has a wading pool with about 2 inches of water in it. L was scared of the big pool, even when Baba got in, so we'll work on that later.

In the afternoon, the group met to complete the paperwork needed for the visa. This was quite a process, as everyone's is slightly different depending on their child's individual needs, the province they are from, and their age. But our guide was patient and thorough, so that information is now out of our hands.

After a pizza dinner, it was time for the new favorite activity of teeth brushing, then bed.

Tomorrow we have nothing on the schedule as we cannot proceed until the TB test results are ready. This is very exciting, as it's difficult to continually find things to entertain a busy toddler in government offices, day in and day out. Our plan is a relaxing day in and around our hotel. More pool time, naptime on schedule, etc. We have been counting down to tomorrow since we landed in China, so looking forward to it!

Guangzhou!

2012-09-21T06:21:00.003-07:00

We survived our first plane trip! It went pretty well, overall. L loves-loves-loves all things transportation, and we realized quickly that he has likely never been beyond the orphanage compound, or least not often, as he is goggle-eyed whenever we leave our hotel. So planes, trains, buses (oh, the buses!) and cars are just fascinating. He always wants to touch parked cars and buses (such big wheels!), and the airport was just a wonderful adventure.

Before boarding our flight, we decided to grab a bite at a cafe in the airport. At this point, L was on overload, it was past naptime (and boy, is he sleep-scheduled!) so he began to lose it. Just the average-everyday fit--throwing things, not wanting to eat, etc. This is when we met The Smartest Woman Alive. A waitress came over, calmly told him to sit still and she would bring him a treat. The treat turned out to be a plastic plate, a glob of ketchup, and a straw. She showed him how to dip the straw in the ketchup and suck it off the end. She was an angel from heaven, I tell you--this woman was absolutely had his number. He was instantly transfixed, and we were able to have a short meal in peace. The kid loves him some ketchup, that's for sure.

During the flight he played with his seatbelt, although he never undid it, opened and closed the window and his tray a trillion times, went with Baba to the bathroom, and played with a sticker book. He was relatively quiet, fascinated by the experience, and ate most of the meal (yes! a meal on a 2-hour flight!).

It felt strange to leave Xi'an. As we took off, L was watching out the window and said, "Bye-bye!". I teared up a little--I really can't describe how it felt. Our experience in Xi'an was so mixed. We are so proud to have a little Xi'an boy, and the history and culture of the city is strong and rich. I want him to learn about his place of birth and appreciate how much of an impact Xi'an has had on world history. I think we just happened to go at a strange time. The protests had pretty much taken over the city and we were advised not to leave our hotel unless with an official guide. While things were not openly hostile against us in particular, the hotel often kept the lights off in the lobby and big plants in the windows, armed police were everywhere, and protesters chanted and yelled late in to the night, most nights. The yelling into the bullhorn was loud, and the chanting was inexplicably mixed with extremely loud Christmas music (?). Air raid sirens went off most of the day of remembrance, and whenever they went off the government officials would close the windows and shades (we were getting our notary services done that day), and people wore all black for most of the week with red arm bands. I've been to Xi'an before, and absolutely loved it, so I really think it was just strange timing--a highly charged political situation and a difficult anniversary at the same time. Again, nothing was directed at us (that I know of). We definitely felt like we were walking on eggshells, but things overall went well there. We certainly appreciate how hard everyone at the government offices worked to keep us on schedule; they went above and beyond for sure. The fact that we have his passport in hand is testament to their dedication to their work.

When we landed in Guangzhou, we met our guide at the gate, and she led us to four other families from our agency who are all on roughly the same schedule, and who all came from the same province. So it was nice to put some faces to names, and to see some others in our shoes.

Guangzhou feels very different. Our guide here made sure we were checked in, told us our dinner options, and then left us to it. It is far larger, and clearly more cosmopolitan. It's hot and sultry here, and the hotel (Garden Hotel) is gorgeous. We had a yummy local meal, and gave L his first bath. We've been sponge-bathing him as we had hot water intermittently and only a shower in Xi'an, and a cold-ish shower for a kiddo who is afraid of water seemed like a really bad idea. But here, hot water is plentiful and the bathtub is HUGE. He absolutely loved it once I got in with him--we only put about an inch of water with about 5 inches of suds, and slowly added water until he got comfortable. He is fast asleep now, and we are regrouping for the rest of the week.

Tomorrow, we go to the US Consulate where L has to have a medical exam and TB test. We will finish his visa paperwork in the afternoon, and the group will have dinner together in the evening (I think).

And here is another attempt at pictures!

A nice, clean L

At the warriors

First meeting

Day 5, Xi'an

2012-09-20T15:46:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was much smoother and calmer. We spent time with our knowledgable guide, Tom, who knows the city inside and out. Xi'an is a major cultural center in China with a rich heritage. It's a city to be proud to be from, for sure. We saw the city wall, which was beautiful and terrifying to the parents of a two-year-old boy, a Buddhist monastery with a lovely park right in the middle of the city, and the Xi'an City Museum, which traces the influence of Xi'an for the past millenia. All fascinating stuff, and we are so happy to learn as much as we can about L's city of birth. We are already looking forward to bringing him back someday.

We were also successful in obtaining L's passport. As we were a day behind due to protests and government offices were closed for periods of time over the same issue, we were prepared to extend our stay in China for paperwork purposes. Somehow our guide was able to persuade the officer in charge to work later into the evening to get ours to us last night, as we fly to Guangzhou today to complete the adoption. All US adoptions from China end in Guangzhou, as this is where the US Consulate is based.

Question: Is there anything cuter than a two-year-old passport picture?
Answer: No, there isn't.

So today, we attempt our first plane trip as parents. And L leaves the city of his birth. Again, complicated stuff.

Wish us luck, and I'll post again from Guangzhou.

(Oh, and I have no idea what is going on with pictures. Maybe internet service will be a tad better in GZ).

Day 4, Xi'an

2012-09-19T06:08:00.002-07:00

Today was long, tiring, wonderful, and difficult. We started out going to the Terra Cotta Warriors, a national treasure of China. The displays are excellent, and our guide is extremely knowledgable about the area and history of the museum. We had a lovely tour, and then an absolutely delicious lunch full of local delicacies. We busted out the Ergo, and as L is about 2 sizes smaller than we had originally thought, he fit just right and it worked well. He didn't like it at first, but then realized that he pretty much had my undivided attention, and talked the entire time we were touring--of course, I didn't understand any of it, but this didn't seem to bother him in the least.

Generally, he continues to do well. He eats like a champ as long as the food is white. Add color (ie, veggies, fruit, meat) and it's the universal shaking of hands and head--no, no Mama. But yogurt, noodles, broth, Cheerios, bao-zi (steamed bread), and dumplings are filling and accessible--we'll deal with the lack of variety when we get home. He sleeps well, from about 7:30 to 6:00 with a 2-hour nap mid-day. Of course, travel across the date line will completely hose that, but at least it's a start. He's been calling us "Mama" and "Baba", although he doesn't answer to any of the names he was called before, nor the nicknames. Not sure what is up with that. He gives us kisses, gives occasional hugs, and is very concerned if we leave his sight. He loves to take things apart, including the remote control, mouse, and flashlight, and is definitely in the dump-and-fill stage.

We did have a very difficult and somewhat unexpected experience today. We hoped to see the orphanage that he was in, although we were also told he was in a foster home for a period of time, so we were never quite sure who he lived with, or when. Our guide said that we could see the orphanage from a distance, maybe take a picture or two, but otherwise foreigners were not permitted to enter. As it is located on the outskirts of Xi'an, we decided to head there after the Warriors tour.

We were, however, invited to enter the orphanage itself. As it generally looks like a government building, we didn't actually realize we were in it (or that we had been invited to enter it--we were big-time clueless at this point) until the foster parents ran out, scooped L up, and started crying and kissing him, and then took him to their apartment. Because, as it turns out, the foster family actually lives on site in the orphanage itself. Foster parents each have a small apartment, and the children live with them, which is a wonderful setup as the kids all get the family experience--it was definitely not a Dickensian, please-may-I-have-more kind of situation. At all. So this clears up the placement question.

It was also confusing, surprising, and a little shocking. The Good: We got little-guy stories about L, and they are pretty funny. Several people told us that the orphanage director would only visit L when he was sleeping, as he is "too naughty otherwise". We also got pictures of the three of us with the foster family, saw his bed and apartment, and met some of his friends. Priceless. The Difficult: The transition was awful, heartbreaking. We had anticipated a tough transition the very first time we met him, as we had some indication that we might take L directly from the foster family. As it turns out, this was not the case, and the original transition went smoothly and relatively happily. He was attaching a bit, seemed to generally like having us around, etc. This transition, however, was another story entirely. He was screaming, the foster family was wailing, and Cory and I were desperately trying to hold it together enough to keep things somewhat upright. After about an hour post-visit, L was more or less back to his usual self, and we had a nice, very quiet evening.

I really have no idea how this will play out in the long run. I know that meeting them was a gift. Their love for him was absolutely clear, and they told us all sorts of things that we can pass on to him. We can show him that we made a connection, and tell him about them and how much he was loved and cared for. We were able to thank them for taking such good care of our son. And that was also unexpected. Adoption: the good, the bad, the confusing, the wonderful--it's a mixed bag, to put it mildly.

So, it was a big day. A big, huge, exhausting, emotional day. Tomorrow, we pick up his passport and go to a park. And that's it. Seems like the intense political situation has eased a bit (we're not going to sleep to the sound of chanting protesters tonight--yay!), so here's hoping tomorrow is easy and quiet.

Anyway, after that long and involved post...a picture! (I could only post one--the internet connection keeps timing out).

Meeting L for the first time

And Then There Were Three

2012-09-18T14:35:00.002-07:00

We met L, and he is perfect. The transition went better than our wildest dreams, as he was clearly very, very loved and taken care of. He is funny, smart, healthy, and happy. I'm sure this is the proverbial honeymoon period, but we'll take it.
Welcome to the family, little L! We can't imagine our lives without you!
We can't upload pictures right now, not sure why, but I will post some as soon as possible. Just imagine the cutest Chinese boy on Earth, and there ya go. :-)