“You want to express interest in a school, but you don’t want to go overboard,” said Risa Lewak, author of Don’t Stalk the Admissions Officer. “Even if you are the perfect candidate, you undermine your case by doing something that is construed as inappropriate or annoying.”

Read the entire post here.

How did Number 2 pencils attain this exalted status? There are several reasons:

The Number 2 pencil was used in the Paleolithic era for the CAT--Caveman Aptitude Test
Number 2 pencils claim they have a better body than the other pencils
Number 2 pencils are the most effective weapon for attacking the proctor
For every fifty filled-in bubbles, Number 2 pencils get a kickback from the College Board
Number 2 pencils seek world domination

Be aware: If you want to live out the rest of your life happily and peacefully, don’t mess with Number 2 pencils.

These people get their jollies from barking, “break’s over” and “five minutes left” to a bunch of nervous seventeen year-olds taking one of the most important tests of their lives. You have to wonder about someone who says, “I want to be an SAT proctor when I grow up.”

Because proctors:
A) Can’t tell time
B) Never know where the test book serial number is
C) Interpret scratching your arm as a sign you’re cheating
D) Assume you have no idea how to fill in a bubble

It’s now time for students to fight back!

The next time you encounter an evil proctor, get everyone in the room to lock the proctor in the school’s utility closet. Force the proctor to fill in 10,000 bubbles in less than ten minutes. Then, every student should take turns shrieking in the proctor’s ear, time’s up! After that, students tie the proctor up, take his/her wallet, and demand that the proctor define the following words: ignominious, contumacious, sybarite, Dotard, and Taco Bell Chalupa Supreme. When the proctor fails to do so, seal his/her mouth with duck tape.

File out of the room, turn off the lights and leave proctor with a blaring alarm that goes off every half hour.

Then pray that the ETS and College Board never find out and that none of this will go on your permanent record.

Aside from answering every question with, “because I’m important” and proudly distributing their pre-printed address labels at college fairs, overachievers have a way of making you feel inferior. The college admissions process makes you feel inferior enough: you don’t need some little lab rat to make you feel even worse.

There are so many reasons to hate overachievers, but luckily we’ve taken the time to condense the TOP 10.

They believe that observing the in vitro growth of osteoblasts derived from fat stem cells is more fun than XBOX360
They can pronounce the word: inchoate
They eat lunch during class because their time is too precious to waste on a lunch period
They begin every sentence with, “As an Intel finalist…….,”
Teachers are afraid of them
They tutor disadvantaged children while you’re watching Saturday morning cartoons
They only go to parties to prove they have a “fun side”
They consider going to the bathroom a waste of time
They haven’t watched TV in fifteen years
Their parents love them more than yours love you