Adopted Jane

Well, Well, Well........

noreply@blogger.com (Jane) — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 02:34:00 +0000

I rarely come here now......but today I did and found a comment from the past couple of weeks on a post that I did 3 years ago...

Its here , and I allowed the comment to go through ... because I don't believe it

http://adoptedjane.blogspot.com/2008/05/there-is-something-just-so-damn-wrong.html

SPAM

noreply@blogger.com (Jane) — Fri, 07 May 2010 05:02:00 +0000

Why is there so many Spam Comments at the moment ? all chinese ones !

Loss.

noreply@blogger.com (Jane) — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 00:03:00 +0000

I cant handle it

I love you

I miss you

My heart is Breaking

Forever in my heart

R.I.P

xxx

Ah Much Better

noreply@blogger.com (Jane) — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 05:42:00 +0000

I really disliked that other template!
And ok this isn't perfect ? like where are the mirrors ! but its better...

Im not blogging that much anyway... Was really getting into a negative spin about it all..

No on appreciates what you say anyway... unless you are popular by some weird default!

I have fixed comments (I think)

noreply@blogger.com (Jane) — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 11:17:00 +0000

Feel Free to try it out

I cant wait to change my template

Anyone want to volunteer!

Please Help this Woman Burnt over 80% of her body

noreply@blogger.com (Jane) — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 09:18:00 +0000

Please if you live in America please help this beautiful woman..

Audrey Mabrey

A victim of Domestic Violence her estranged husband threw lighter fluid at her and set her alight :(
She has TWO Small children

She needs help

I have watched the love pour out for Stephanie And Christian Nielson, so I know Americans have huge hearts, please can you help this lovely young woman

Attachment

noreply@blogger.com (Jane) — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 06:04:00 +0000

I was going to leave a comment HERE on my friends blog. But I decided to post it here as a blog post.. I hope a few bells go off!

And Why the FRICK do adoptive children HAVE Attachment issues in the first place
DOH it doesn't take Einstein to work it out

But as ALWAYS the aparents take it that its their fault that its some inner issue they have that is causing this (trying to martyr themselves)
It wouldn't matter WHAT adoptive parent the kid had, the kid would still have attachment issues because its NOT the kids MOTHER. its the kids SECOND MOTHER
Why doesn't society have a problem with people saying that about Step Mothers ?

Oh that's understandable that little johnnie doesn't bond with her, that's his step mother (not the same thing as having your Mother)

But with ADOPTED Children there is supposed to be some sort of magical wand that waves the first mother sorry ERASES The first mother out of the kids life....Forever forgotten to a forever family (ugh just saying those words makes bile rise)

If its easy to understand why a child doesn't bond with its step parent WHY In heavens name is it not easy to understand why the child doesn't bond to their adoptive parent.
A piece of paper with legal words all over it doesn't make attachment miraculously happen

YOU KNOW !

Ive Changed my template ..

noreply@blogger.com (Jane) — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 01:26:00 +0000

I've not heard back from blogger buster , I hope Amanda is ok...

I couldn't have half the stuff missing. It looked silly

Now it looks silly but not as bad. I did this myself. I found a free 3 colum template and used it.. It depicts me at the moment - TIRED.

Tired of all the crap. Tired of all the BS in the World :(

Anyway I quickly put this template up, wrote all my widgets to notepad and copied them back in

Some look silly ! Some are in wrong order ! And I forgot some. Ie the ones down the bottom and some thing up the top

If I had you as a favorite could you drop me a line so I can add you back please x

Happy Birthday To Me

noreply@blogger.com (Jane) — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 00:22:00 +0000

It was my birthday on Monday.
It was shit
Same as every year.
Nothing else to say really
End of post.

Can Anyone Help with my Template ? What has happend to Blogger Buster ?

noreply@blogger.com (Jane) — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 00:16:00 +0000

Does anyone know if Amanda is ok ? from Blogger Buster ? I have emailed her a number of times
I see there are no posts since September 2009...
Just seems really weird

My entire template has gone to the dogs. The background was black so Ive changed it to white so people can read my blog at least!

Until I hear from her if this is a permanent thing or until some one kindly volunteers to change my blog for me !

Sigh :(

EEK - my template ? what the hey?

noreply@blogger.com (Jane) — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 10:50:00 +0000

Hmm so today I have gone to blog...and then noticed my template is all screwy
What has happened to it ?
Anyone up for a make over ?

Merry Christmas Mum, Merry Christmas Mother, Merry Christmas Sister...

noreply@blogger.com (Jane) — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 08:05:00 +0000

Three people I miss this Christmas...

One I will never see, not until (maybe) when I die...(I still don't know if I believe that there is a afterlife)

The other two I will not see unless I get on a plane and travel to the other side of the world...
Even then, I may not see them, because they may still reject me despite my traveling across the other side of the world to see them !!!

I miss My Mum terribly. Its coming up to 10 years in 2010.....10 years since I had her arms wrap around mine and tell me how much she loved me...10 years since since she wished me Merry Christmas...10 years since I got to hug her and tell her I love you....10 years since a little part of me died the day she did.....

How I miss her........

I find loss extremely hard to deal with, I find death therefore infinitely more so......
I wish I could know, I wish I could really for 100percent know that I will see those that have died that I love again...I could cope then...............

But thats never going to happen is it....If you have faith then you are supposed to have comfort from that...but if you listen to those who believe in evolution, that we cane from a spec, a cell..then there really is no afterlife, and I will never see those that I love again :(

So is faith and the believe in God and where we came from ie Adam and Eve, and the afterlife just some made up / dreamed up fantasy to make us all feel better ? so that we dont mope this earth until we die ?

I just wish I could have proof just for myself to know, that there really is a afterlife :( because I really miss my Mum.................

Stephanie & Christian Nielson and Doug Kinneard - Awe Inspiring People of 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Jane) — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 03:52:00 +0000

Ah Stephanie...what an amazing soul...Christian and Doug also...(RIP Doug - what a beautiful man)
AZ Central.com is doing articles on all 3 of these awe inspiring people..
This is Last Sundays pieces...and don't forget to tune in to AZCentral.com for this Sundays articles...

PS Bring Tissues!!

AZ Central.com Stephanie Nielson Intro - Click here

Hear Stephanie in her own words here

Hear Christian in his own words here ...

Read about Doug here

Dona Nobis Pacem

noreply@blogger.com (Jane) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 04:16:00 +0000

Today November 5th , 2009

PEACE

I wish my friend Mimi Peace in her Heart

xxx

Natalee Holloway....................

noreply@blogger.com (Jane) — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 03:44:00 +0000

I live in Australia, I only know about Natalee from reading some crime message boards and the Oprah website.
I read the Excerpt online on Oprah by Beth Holloway "Loving Natalee: A Mother's Testament of Hope and Faith"

Do you know what really gets to me ? do you know what really upsets me the most out of all of this ?
Apart from the obvious, that as a Mother I just can not imagine how excruciatingly painful this is for Beth, that I just cant imagine never knowing what happened to your child.
I cant imagine losing a child to death, but I cant imagine how much more painful it must be not knowing if that child is dead or alive.

For me what really upsets me the most, that really defies all I know about being a good person, is that there are some people, right now, somewhere in this world , living their life, KNOWING That they were involved in the disappearance of Natalee Holloway.

How do they carry on day after day ?
How do they eat their breakfast , lunch and dinner every day ?
How do they party with their friends, enjoy a movie , a swim , a holiday ?
How do they lay their head down on their pillow at night and sleep ?

There are people out there right now, who were involved in Natalee's disappearance, and whether that be her death or her kidnapping into some illegal human trafficking arena...these people WERE involved and they KNOW What happened to her.

How can they not come forward ? and be a decent person ? a decent human being ?
Have people become so desensitized that they think that its just "fine" to carry on with their daily life with their family and friends ? while Natalee's family and friends live in despair and pain every single day since she disappeared ?

Where did those people's values and morals go ? that they were taught ? and apart from the genuinely psychotic , mentally disturbed people in this world I do believe most people are decent , good human beings that often get themselves into situations that they feel they can not get out of, situations that are clouded by alcohol, drugs , peer pressure, a moment of insanity....
I do believe that most people in this world given the same circumstances but without that "trigger" would not do what they do..

I have to believe in that, because otherwise I would just want to curl under a bed with my family and never leave...I have to believe that because otherwise it would destroy me.

So if somehow, someway those people involved in Natalee Holloways Disappearance in Aruba on Sunday The 29th of May in 2005 chance upon this blog, or even people who "know" the people involved in Natalee's disappearance chance upon this blog, I put it to you like this : Imagine if it were your Sister or Brother that this happened to ? Or even if you don't have a sister or brother , imagine it happening to your Mother or Father ? Girlfriend/Boyfriend, Wife/Husband, Niece/Nephew..anyone that you love....how would you feel ? the daily loss of that person, never knowing what happened to them...Truly ask yourself how you would feel..how much pain you would be in every single day..

Ask yourself these questions truthfully :

" Am I a decent person ? "

" Do I want to go through life with this on my conscience"

" Do I want to die knowing that I caused torment and heartache to a great deal of people"

Life isn't meant to be about hurting other people.
Anyone that has any knowledge of any kind that was to come forward would be able to stop that.

I would really like to believe that anyone who has any knowledge of any kind would be able to see past their own fears of what may happen to them, be it whether they were directly involved, had knowledge of , or even knowledge of the people involved.
Next May in 2010 it will have been 5 years since Natalee Holloway disappeared, Natalee was just 18 years old when she disappeared with her whole life ahead of her, Work, Marriage, Children, friends, family, good times all to be had...She would be 23 now......

Accidents happen, Mistakes happen, tragedies happen, but it really is a crime to know something about the disappearance of a beautiful young lady and not speak up, but rather say nothing and allow her family to live in torment.

If you know anything about the disappearance of Natalee Holloway, In Aruba May 2005, Please get your inner "decency" courage and present yourself at your nearest police station and tell them what you know.....

This is a link to Real Photos of the Natalee Holloway Case, some of these people here hold the TRUTH to what happened to Natalie. I can see it in their eyes. When we are young or even middle aged, we think we are indestructible and can just blast through life, but when we are struck down by severe illness or old age there are things in our life that has gone before us that will surface to our memories...Many people make confessions at this stage because they want to be free of what they have hidden...but why wait until then , now is the time to act, so that you can live the remainder of your life in peace, knowing that you did the right thing...

Adoption Disruption and People on the Self Publicity Trail

noreply@blogger.com (Jane) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 23:35:00 +0000

I completely blame Anita Tedaldi.....

You can read about her HERE and HERE and, well just google her name and you will find a lot more because she is very vocal

A little adopted boy who is named only as "angryboy" by his adoptive mother is up for grabs on the internet : you can read the horror story HERE and also my comments which I will also post here

I wrote the following comment there:

Jane says:

October 23, 2009 at 1:01 am

After reading the response to Mirah and other posters from the Adoptive mother – I put it to the readers that the 8 year old adopted boy learnt “anger” from his adoptive mother.
Your tone and attitude to Mirah and other posters was immediate anger.

The anger that is coming from you shows through louder than you obviously can see.

You are the one coming across as angry.

If you do not want the criticism then I will give you the same advice I gave to Anita Tedaldi after her piece on the “Termination of her adopted child” – DON’T WRITE ABOUT IT
Pretty simple really isn’t it.

These are the type of children who go on to be mass murderers, serial rapists , always in trouble with the law and so on because people like YOU and Anita, take a child (thinking you are so wonderful and that *GOD* instructed you to ADOPT) that you fail to realize your own limitations , thus ending in serious problems all round and creating in SOME Cases a complete Monster, because you failed to push through the issues, and thus once again abandoning the child

Let me put it to ALL of the readers out there a different way…one that you can all relate to (probably)

Think back to when you were in a relationship, someone you loved with all your heart , maybe this was the one even and that person ended that relationship……

How did you feel ???

Rejected ? Abandoned ? Low Self Esteem ?

In the majority of cases this is how people who are the dumped one in the relationship feel, some go on binges , drinking , excessive eating/not eating , partying hard, being a recluse – any number of these things can and do happen , because they feel rejected, hurt, unloved , unwanted…

Why then is it SO HARD For people to wrap their head around how an adopted child feels?
And when that adopted child is dumped TWICE how much more damaging that is to them..

People who disrupt adoptions do not deserve the privilege to adopt a child.

I also took my comment over to HERE which is where I first found about this little boy named "angryboy" by his adoptive mother.

Sadly my comment seemed to get lost, and the focus was turned to me saying that this is how some monsters (ie rapists /murderers) are created.

There is no denying it, adoption has created many monsters, and I have added a further comment which I hope will be posted :

I hope that my point is clarified, as I did say in SOME Cases a complete monster is created , and no matter which way you look at it, adopted or non adopted , people who rape and kill are monsters.

These people ARE Monsters and they are adopted

http://www.geocities.com/Wellesley/9950/adoption_serialkillers.html

http://www.amfor.net/killers/

People like Anita Tedaldi and this other person who is putting her “angryboy” (UGH) up for adoption on the internet are the type of people who help create the above type monsters.

Its bad enough being given up for adoption once, but twice ? :(

I can only hope that these two little boys abandoned TWICE don’t turn out to be like the above monsters

The point I really wanted the focus on was how I compared a breakup of a relationship to the feelings that adoptees suffer through continuously.

I wanted non adopted people who don't understand adoptees to have something to relate to.

I hope that came through.

Stephanie Nielson and Oprah - 7th October 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Jane) — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 13:25:00 +0000

YUP

Stephanie is going to be on Oprah (I imagine Christian is too)

If you live in the USA Then turn on Oprah today - According to THIS its going to be on at 4pm channel 2

I have no clue as I am in Australia - so will someone kindly put it up on utube and send me the link please x

You don't want to miss this...I am sure

You can read a bit more about it over HERE and you can read Stephanie's blog HERE

Stephanie Nielson AKA NieNie

noreply@blogger.com (Jane) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 12:16:00 +0000

I don't want anyone to forget her or Christian....

They are always in my thoughts....

They are amazing...

Stephanie is amazing..Stephanie is someone that I look at and she inspires me to do good, she inspires me to be strong in the face of adversity, she inspires me to be better...

Stephanie is not only amazing she is beautiful, as is her husband, her children and especially her family and Christian's family...

I know that the focus is on Stephanie, she is the one most affected by this tragedy, apart from their good friend Doug and his family..but I think the focus is on Stephanie because its other mothers relating on a "mother level" wondering how they would cope , react, survive....

Christian and Doug are thought about ....too....

But its Stephanie, "the mother" the lifeline...its so important..Motherhood...Stephanie all I can say is that I am so very very glad that your beautiful soul was spared because your 4 beautiful children need you and love you...

I don't know you...and I love you.....

You are just simply...amazing...

xxx

You can read Stephanie's blog here - Be warned though...you will fall in love with the Nielsons :)

Apparently this is a stupid blog !

noreply@blogger.com (Jane) — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 05:06:00 +0000

There is a policy in place here....
But seems people dont mind..because as stated if your comments are abusive I will do a complete post about them..
So Here is one of my most recent comments which was intended for this blog post I did on dimitry Yakolev/Chase Harrison who *died* whilst left / abandoned in a car on a stinking hot day by his adoptive father .....on their way to daycare ! but went to work and forget that Dimitry was in the car and carried on at work .....

Mother of 5 - has decided to let hurl some abuse at me...

This is the most stupid blog I've ever read. I know a woman who's just her third baby at the age of 47, Good luck to her. This sanctimonious idiot is right to talk about her "soapbox". I've seen hundreds of incompetent parents who stay at home with their children all day, and many many juvenile delinquents from dysfunctional homes with a stay-at-home mother. Equally I've seen many well-adjusted and loving families who use day care. Emotive biased language such as "dumped" are just there for sensationalism - Being a good parent has everything to do with parenting skills and loving - for all I know this OP could be one of the moronic stay-at-home mothers who has no idea of what she's doing - it's amazing how these people can butter up their own skills and show such judgement and outrage at others.

Oh....and "Jane" is also anonymous, unless, Jane, you'd care to post your REAL name and address in full. Then and only then can you be held up to scrutiny.

What hypocrisy and stupidity.

Hmm well Jane is My REAL Name thank you kindly, and if you had read the rest of my blog you would have noticed that!
Next who in their right mind publishes their address on the ineternet for all the whackjobs to get a hold of - if you do then you are a fruit cake and should definitely not have children !

And um yes I can see that Dimitry's adoptive parents were doing an excellent job, so good in fact that he is DEAD

I must say I feel flattered that this person opened a blogger account just to comment on my blog.
Glad to see that I'm making a impact

Oh and Motherof5 (if thats your real self!) I'll be watching out for comments from Melbourne, Australia, using a Mac with Safari - for future comments ...and they wont be published - or perhaps I will do a seperate post just for you !

:)

Adoptee Rights and Various Parties

noreply@blogger.com (Jane) — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 04:02:00 +0000

I'm in Australia, I'm not really affiliated, associated, buddies or otherwise with any of the varying factions that are fighting out there for adoptee rights and amongst themselves. Whilst I know many, and choose to associate with some doesn't mean I am in league with them.
But what I do see, is movies, tv series, films etc made that potray adoptees as psychos, offbalance, not mentally stable and so forth..
What I have observed over the past year between some of these various factions is beyond my comprehension of how they do understand that is just supporting the view that is out there about adoptees.
I have recently read some blogs, since the Philly Adoptees rights demonstration and the nasty language used from varying people about other people is unbelievable. To actually write such nasty words and to belittle others in a demeaning way, OTHER adoptees, on a public blog for all the people who might be watching and reading various blogs is truly amazing.

No matter what people are about, whether they clash with someone Else's personality, whether they downright despite another person, if there is a common goal, IE getting open records for adoptees in America, then surely the battles can be put down and everyone strive for the common good.
Throwing around vile insults, and gutter language at people , trying to humiliate others , taking others to task, being mean, embellishing the truth, exaggerating what another is doing, and basically just being hurtful, isn't going to make anyone in any position of power , be it legislators, media etc take anyone seriously.
All it's going to do is cement in their mind that ALL Adoptees are stark raving mad....

I feel dismayed that instead of putting a positive spin on whatever was achieved in Philly this year, there are those that take the opportunity to disparage. Whilst I agree that the event needs to be reported from varying sides, perhaps care could be taken to be factual rather than putting personal opinions into it.
I feel even more dismayed to see people then vilely attacking and abusing those that have chosen to present a different side to what they observed happening for all those that did not attend.

I wish that everyone would put aside their insecurities, grow the hell up and join together for the common good of getting adoptees their rights the same as every other person in America and NOT have situations like what happened to this poor lady who wanted to obtain a drivers Licence and was treated like a piece of muck on someones shoe!

Do you think that's possible ?

The Coerced removal Of Elijah

noreply@blogger.com (Jane) — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 11:44:00 +0000

If you have been following my blog you know I have been writing about Forced Adoptions, coercion in adoption, BULLYING in adoption...why is it that we have all kinds of laws about bullying in our school systems and protection in place for those bullied (if its a good school!) but yet we are allowing women to be bullied into giving up their child ?
Does that make sense to you ?

This is a story, another heartbreaking story of a child taken from his mother and lost into a system called adoption. This is where I get angry at adoption. This is where I do scream at those adoptive parents and agency workers and so on that dare to make out that there is NOTHING Wrong with adoption that it is all flowers and hearts...

I'm going to direct you to another Blog that has the full story and the understanding of this story from an American Law POV and also a native Indian which Mary and Elijah are...

If you would kindly go to this fantastic blog post about Mary and her son Elijah - Please Click Here

Mary had intent to file for rescinding of the adoption within the 3 day limit (how anyone thinks that 3 days is fair to ANYONE is beyond me !) after being coerced into adoption in the first place.
But due to more tactics Mary missed the deadline to file - Sound Familiar to my last story about coercion ???

Mary sent me a email asking me to please tell her story..how could I not, how could anyone not tell Mary and Elijah's story :( It needs to be told, people in media NEED TO TAKE NOTICE of whats going on.. they are the ones with the power, how about a bit of pressure being sent back to all these courts making these horrendous decisions. Mary wasn't deemed a unfit mother, NO , just some technicality upheld the Agency's right to terminate Mary's parental rights and remove Elijah from the only mother he knew and his elder sister.

WHY IS THIS HAPPENING ???

When there are SO MANY babies and children out there of abuse and who are orphans, why are adoptive parents TAKING children that are still wanted by their Biological parents ???

Perhaps they do not know ? I don't know , but if they do not know , then they need to LOBBY and FIGHT for ETHICAL Adoptions and not child stealing via Coercion

My heart breaks for Mary and for Elijah :( and I hope someone somewhere learns of this case and does something RIGHT About it - for a change

God Bless Mary and Elijah, may you be reunited soon...........

Adoption is Like a Pet Fair

noreply@blogger.com (Jane) — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 23:20:00 +0000

YEY !

I have just received this article into my inbox from my google alerts on adoption and I am beyond the pale on this one...

Sex and the City Star Willie Garson Adopts a son.

This is a 8 year old boy and my first thoughts were perhaps this is *ok* perhaps this child was a victim of abuse and being removed from that hell would be better..

BUT No, no such luck, this child was at an adoption fair, unable to be cared for by his biological mother anymore.

Garson says he will certainly allow Nathan's biological mother to visit him, saying, "For many reasons, she couldn't care for him, but I will never let her not see him."
The 45-year-old actor originally wanted to adopt a 3-year-old before meeting Nathan at an adoption fair.
Of the adoption process, Garson says, "It's like a pet fair -- as horrifying as you can imagine. It was really hard. The 16-year-old fat ugly kid, who has probably been to thirty of these, knows he's not going to get adopted. Like everything else, cute wins. I couldn't believe my kid was actually available for adoption. He's so cute and sweet."

What is it with Celebs and Adoption ? Are they just lonely or what ? And this 8 year old boy does he now get a name change ? So for 8 years hes's been known as one name and then gets given another ?

I found the comments in this article to be disparaging, and as much as I agree that for older children it probably is like a pet fair, I think that a actor endorsing that *cute wins* publicly is a real slam in the gut for all those un adopted children left wallowing in orphanages.

Seriously views on adoption need to change and Quick............

Coercion

noreply@blogger.com (Jane) — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 04:50:00 +0000

Definition as per Dictionary Reference.Com

co⋅er⋅cion

noun

1. the act of coercing; use of force or intimidation to obtain compliance.

2. force or the power to use force in gaining compliance, as by a government or police force.

AND

Legal Dictionary

Main Entry: co·er·cion
Pronunciation: kO-'&r-zh&n, -sh&n
Function: noun

: the use of express or implied threats of violence or reprisal (as discharge from employment) or other intimidating behavior that puts a person in immediate fear of the consequences in order to compel that person to act against his or her will; also : the defense that one acted under coercion

—see also DEFENSE, DURESS —compare UNDUE INFLUENCE

Merriam-Webster's Dictionary of Law, © 1996 Merriam-Webster, Inc.
Cite This Source

Sounds awful doesn't it. Not something to be proud of doing, not something that YOU would want to happen to you over something dear to your heart, important to you etc.

Certainly not a predicament you would want to be in if you were young and pregnant, or even older and pregnant but with money troubles, or emotional issues, now would it ?

But yet its continually happening. Still today ! I mean we all know it happened during the *old*days , what was known as the BSE ( Baby Scoop Era) - it was rife during this time with many parents of their daughters actually helping with the coercion of giving up their daughters child, their grandchild, because the *shame* of it was far worse than actually trying to help their daughter to keep her child.

I gave you all a story here PLEASE CLICK THIS LINK about a 25 year old who was tricked and coerced into the surrender of her child, and despite being within the time limit of changing her mind she was deceived into not signing those papers, and now has the fight of her life on her hands to get back her child.

And remember these babies, are a (yep you guessed it) A Gift From God - but not for the coerced Mother - oh NO - the baby was always intended as a gift for someone else, they just lost their way (*rolls eyes*)

How do people live with themselves ? How do people KNOW that a woman wants to keep her child, but yet they continue to coerce, force,manipulate, deceive, lie to get that child away from her. How do they live with themselves knowing that she didn't willingly surrender her child ?

Do you know how they do it ? how they live with themselves ? Because they do not put the importance on family, on heritage, that they should. They only think of themselves and they see that the end justifies the means, BUT The end does NOT justify the means, The end is not justified at all. especially when a woman wants to keep her child, there should be no arguing about it , no discussion about it, if a mother wants to keep her child , that is the END - Period....

I'd really like to know how agencies, churches , adoptive parents can even dispute that ? do they think that they know the woman, the mother better than she knows her own feelings ? Do they suddenly get gifted with the ability to see in a crystal ball ?

NO they do not. They only have their own agendas.

To anyone out there who has to coerce another human being into doing something against their wishes, their will, I ask you this do you think that is the right way to treat another human being ? to adopting parents , I ask this of you - do you think that when your adopted child that was coerced away from his/her mother finds out that you had a part of that , that they will thank you for that ? when they know the full story that their mother wanted them and loved them, ad had it not been for your part in coercion that they would have remained with their mother....
(And make no mistake the truth always comes out , they will find out)

I am working on another horrific story of coercion and deceit to remove a little boy from his mother when he was 18months old... Stay tuned - their story coming soon...

I am so Angry and filled with a pain that is so hard to understand

noreply@blogger.com (Jane) — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 14:47:00 +0000

Adoption.

I HATE IT

I HATE Being Adopted. I know I'm not the only one. There are thousands upon thousands who feel the same way.
Tell me if adoption is SO GOOD how come I and all those others Hate being adopted ? and hurt so much ?
Just for point of reference, I do not hate my adopted parents, I am not ungrateful, I am not selfish, I just HATE Being adopted.
Why ?
Why do I hate being adopted ? because it hurts, it hurts like hell, and some days it just comes and slaps you in the face , and knifes you in the heart , when you're not expecting it, and hurts even harder.
Why do I hate being adopted ? because sometimes whilst reading blogs, expanding my horizons , trying to understand all sides of adoption, getting something in on my google reader I come across crap like this .....

ADOPTION DIARIES EXPLORES THE OPEN ADOPTION PROCESS IN AN ALL NEW ORIGINAL SERIES ON WE TV

Now whilst these people reporting about this show did not write it , they are the first point that I came across it.

I then continued on to find this article at Examiner.com who for some reason have messed up their links, leaving me to go directly to WETV and look at their show that's due to air in September.

This has been one of those knife in the heart moments as I read the bullshit of this shows upcoming episodes.

In particular looking at the following episodes below. Because these are the only ones I looked at , frankly I don't think my heart could take anymore.

So first of all when you go to the above link you come to a page that is titled

Adoption Diaries Premieres Saturday, Sept. 12 at 10p|9c
Then you get a intro to the show which states

About the Show

WE tv's new original series, Adoption Diaries, explores the process in which privately held open adoptions take place. The series showcases the matching process between couples who, having struggled with infertility, turn to adoption and the brave, expecting mothers whose difficult and selfless decision to place their children for adoption makes it all possible.

You are then presented with an array of segments including
FAQ : What is Open Adoption,
Ask The Experts ,
Feature Article: All the Love in the World , (read memoirs of an an open adoption family) My personal favourite - well if I want to weep to the point of not only my heart hurting but my head
Talk about it,
Coming soon.

So, I first came across these photo galleries

Adoption Diaries Episode 2 - This one broke my heart piece by piece as I looked at these photos, whilst I'm sure that the adoptive parents are very nice people, the baby doesn't belong with them, the baby belongs with her Mother and her older brother.. Picture 4 and 5 were particularly harrowing to me, as I looked at this woman, this baby girls mother who just gave birth to her , holding her and smiling this massive smile for the cameras , knowing that she was going to be just giving this baby away in the upcoming days if not hours. Tearing her away from not only her one connection HER MOTHER that had just carried her for 9months, soothing her with her voice and everything about her , but also her older brother. There is a grandmother on the scene, in the photo shoot number 5 where the mother Grandmother and the baby's older brother are all around her ... Such a beautiful scene, a family together just after a baby's birth...but clicking on to pictures 1 and 3 shatter that delusion yes I said delusion...because this little baby girls is about to be ripped from her heritage, her destiny (after all she was planted into this woman , sitting in the hospital bed , who just gave birth to her , womb...and not that other fake mummy.

How can ANYONE want to give birth and then just hand that beautiful little girl over to total strangers.When I say that I realise that the mother who gave birth, may have had many conversations and feel she knows them, but they ARE Complete strangers to the baby.

This photo gallery /of this episode was probably particularly hard for me, as I was also removed from my older sister...

And then this one

Adoption Diaries Episode 3 Well I'm still trying to figure this one out because the photo number 3 and 4 are very confusing. Certainly the woman they refer to as the birth mother in photo 3 doesn't look anything like the woman they refer to as birth mother in photo 4.
Photo 5 has the heartbreaking caption :

"and was overjoyed with the gift she gave her family"

This baby isn't a gift. This baby isn't something that you should give away. The definition of GIFT as per Dictionary.com is as follows

1. something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present.
2. the act of giving.
3. something bestowed or acquired without any particular effort by the recipient or without its being earned: Those extra points he got in the game were a total gift.
4. a special ability or capacity; natural endowment; talent: the gift of saying the right thing at the right time.

I don't see *babies* fitting in under this definition of GIFT - do you ? NO that's because human beings are not meant to be traded, sold or GIFTED!!!
Its insulting to hear adoptive parents, social workers, adoption agencies or anyone else referring to a baby as a gift.

The only GIFT that should be used in reference to a baby is that they are a Gift of life - from GOD. They are not exchangeable , refundable , swappable, saleable or GIFTABLE !!!!

And then this brings me to the "Feature Story" where my heart broke a thousand times for that little baby and the biological dad.
Reading what he wrote, looking at his face as he stood with the Adoptive parents and his son, my heart broke for him, this wasn't a young man who was filled with joy at giving up his son, no this was a young man who was prbably guilted into doing so whether by others , or whether by his own thoughts.

All I hear through out this story and many others is how selfless the first mother is. This mother was not selfless...she spelt it out .. she wanted a college degree , to meet a nice boy, to get married and to have a baby...not meet a nice boy and get pregnant before her dreams !!!!

So life throws a curve ball SO WHAT - and in fact the dad states that yes it hurts sometimes but it wouldn't be life if it didn't...and you know what the same goes to not having your dreams run in the order you want.

These young people had parents , the grandparents of this baby, they were not street kids with no where to go. The extended families should have helped this young woman and young man raise their child. They were not 15 year olds , they were 19 year olds.

These young people are so glassy eyed about this whole open adoption business, but I wonder how long that will indeed continue as most open adoptions do not continue that way. I hope for the baby's sake it does.

I'm sure most of my readers are well aware of my feelings of open adoption. I think its a big con to get the baby away from the mother in the first place. And I think its very confusing to the child as they get older.
Does anyone actually engage their brains before they do these things ? do they actually wonder what emotional impact this might have on a child ?

I'll leave you all to read the feature story, as linked above and to come to your own thoughts and conclusions but for me, I don't agree with it being selfless, the most SELFLESS thing to do would have been to keep the baby and raise him with the help of the bio dad (whether they remained together or not is not relevant to that ) and with the help of the extended family.

That would have been selfless...

To all my readers - URGENT - Please read this and HELP - 25 Year old tricked into adoption of her son

noreply@blogger.com (Jane) — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 01:01:00 +0000

I have asked the author of this story if I could tell this on my blog , to reach as many people as possible, becuase hopefully through word of mouth, there may be someone who reads this story that can really help this young woman get her beautiful baby son back, where he belongs..

You see this young woman was co-erced and TRICKED into giving her baby up, by the one person whe thought she could trust , and by an adoption agency (no suprises with that though!)

I URGE You to read this and leave a comment of support and any suggestions that you may have to help this young woman get her son back where he rightfullly belongs.. Her updates on this case can be found here on her my space page

Co-ercion still exists, even in 2009, people are co-ercing young women .........

This is Burning Brights Story

My story begins, about a couple years back. I thought that I had met the man of my dreams. He was cute, funny, knew all the right moves, caring, and understanding...or so I thought. He liked to be out on the water as much as I do, probably even more. We like similar movies, television shows, people, and the same kinds of drinks. He had his own things that he liked to do, and so did I. I thought that it was great. We dated for about 6 months before I thought that we were starting to get serious, and then my birth control failed and we had an unexpected surprise. I was pregnant. I thought it was a beautiful gift that should be celebrated and cherished. He on the other hand thought it was the end of the world. But I loved him, and was blind and willing to work everything out. From the beginning, I was excited to be pregnant. He was ashamed. I didn't realize how bad it was then. Eventually, he seemed to calm down, and I was excited even more. I started picking out items for my nursery, and telling my family what I had wanted them to get me, and was helping my mother and aunt plan a baby shower.

He didn't pay much attention to that, but he started telling me that certain friends were his, and not mine. I didn't understand, and so I asked them, they told me no, but yet they seemed very uneasy around me so I let them go. He started telling me, that he wanted to have control in the relationship, but if there was anything that I ever wanted he wouldn't tell me no. I was okay with that, I wanted him to be happy, and I still felt like I had control because if I wanted it, I could have it, again or so I thought. Then it came time for my ultrasound. At the appointment, he seemed very detached, I originally sluffed it off as he was nervous about seeing the baby growing inside me. However, before we left the office, he asked my doctor if there was a way to get a paternity test, and if he had any information about local adoption agencies. I panicked and told him if that is what he wanted then I was going to leave him, because I wanted our child, and if he didn't want any part of it, it was fine because I could do it on my own. He then told me no, that's not why I wanted that information. I just wanted to be informed. Besides adoption agencies don't just provide information about adoption but they cover other aspects of parenting as well. He dropped the subject.

About a month later, while driving on our way out to dinner, he told me that he didn't want to live together before we got married, because he thought that, that was a bad idea. I was okay with that, because he told me that we were eventually going to get married. To be honest I was ecstatic about it. It was where I had wanted our relationship to go.

But shortly after that dinner, he started telling me that my best friend was being too pushy and that I should back off from her. I thought that, that was strange for him to comment on that, when he usually told me that he liked her. But he said that at work, she was acting really crabby, and angry and he didn't want me and the baby to be stressed out from her aggressiveness. I thought that was sweet and went along with it. I figured that he worked with her, and she hadn't been very talkative towards me because of the stress at work so she might need her space. (truth be told, he was telling her a bunch of BS about me) So the severity of the isolation began. Now because of that I was feeling very alone. I lived with my parents because I moved back home to save money for the baby, and I suppose I could have talked with them, but I just felt if I did, than my dad wouldn't like the boyfriend, and then the boyfriend would get mad at me for talking about us to my parents. I felt very lost.

My best friend started coming around again, she didn't ever really say why all of a sudden she was coming around again. (I later found out that she knew something fishy was going on, but just couldn't get her finger on it...and that if she stuck her nose in "our" business her job would be on the line.) But because of the slight rift the boyfriend had created between us, I didn't feel as though I could be completely honest with her about how I felt and what was going on.

By my 7th month, my boyfriend had, had me sever ties with almost everyone that I cared about, and could talk to. Including my parents and siblings, even though I lived with them, I felt I couldn't talk to them, that I had no where to go. In addition, in my 7th month I had another ultra sound. At this appointment, the boyfriend was very stand offish, and again he asked about the paternity testing, and adoption options in the area. My doctor called for a social worker to come down and answer his questions. The social worker and him talked for several minutes while all I did was cry. After the appointment he told me again that it was just for informational purposes and that because we weren't married and in an "exclusively monogamous" relationship at the time of my conception he wanted the paternity test just to be sure. I cried, because in my mind set, we had been a serious item since before I was pregnant. About a week or so later, my company let me go. They said it was due to downsizing, but I my doubts, especially when a friend of mine who I was training in to cover my job while I was on maternity leave, she got my position. (I don't blame her for any of this.) At that time I was very depressed and unaware of everything really. I felt like I had no where to go, that the boyfriend was my whole life, and that no one was paying any attention to me. I felt so alone, and scared of what was to come. I was tired of not being able to do anything, because all the things that I enjoyed doing the boyfriend told me not to do them, because I might get hurt. Even though I haven't heard of anyone being hurt while going shopping, or to the zoo, or going to see a movie, that was being careful, and what not, but he said it was for my best interest, so I sat at home more and more. Going out with my best friend here and there just to get what I need. Then one day he called me up an told me that we had an appointment with a woman who was from Lutheran Social Services. (from now on I'm going to refer to that as LSS) and he wanted to go there to talk about our options.

I realize now that I shouldn't have gone with him, but that isn't the case. I felt like if I went it would make him happy, and realize that it was all going to be okay. Within the time span of a week between the boyfriend and the social worker, they had already mapped out the adoption plan, picked out the adoptive parents, and had me sign a bunch of papers that I still don't know what they all are. (I've requested everything from my case, but she won't send me all of the papers or notes that she has.) After that, all I did was cry. I felt like I had no control in my life, and that all those major decisions that he wanted to be in charge of he was making even though it was suppose to be "my body, my baby, my choice" it was all taken away from me. I was blind-sided. The damn social worker would call a few times a week asking me if I knew I was in labor yet. I felt like a baby factory, and that all she wanted was my child. The one time I met with her alone, I told her that I was uncomfortable with the adoption process, and you know what she told me?? She told me that it was ok, because it was all apart of the grieving process. Can you believe that?? But enough about the LSS demon.

Then the adoptive parents would call me, and tell my how happy that they were that I didn't get an abortion and that I choose to give him life. Abortion was NEVER an option. I told them that. Several times. They would also call and make me feel guilty, by telling me that they couldn't have children, and when the boyfriend told them that they were picked they were excited to be able to have a child in their home. And that just me feel even worse, because I wanted to raise my son. How was I not suppose to feel guilty? It also deepened the sense that I had no one to go to. That everyone was against me. On top of that when I mentioned that I wanted to keep my son to my boyfriend, he would tell me that I was being incredibly selfish, and that my son deserved to be with the adoptive parents. What was I to do? I'll tell you what I did. I went numb, I was depressed, and I didn't talk to anyone. All I did was cry, especially every time the baby kicked or moved. It also made me feel very used and unappreciated.

Then my son was born. I was so happy. He was so beautiful. He had a full head of hair, and big. He was almost 9 pounds. I had him in my room the whole time I was at the hospital. He was so precious. I was hoping that the boyfriend would change his mind after he saw our precious little boy. I couldn't have been farther from the truth. The boyfriend started referring to our son as an it. I told him that I wanted to name the baby a certain name. He told me no. That it would make it too personal. I asked him to sign the voluntary acknowledgement of paternity. He said no, because he doesn't know for sure if the baby was his or not. He filled out the birth certificate while I cried. He then called the LSS social worker and told her the name and told her that he wanted the petition as soon as possible. He then left me alone in my room with our son, while he pranced around and did what he wanted. Later on that day he went to the local court house and called me telling me that he could get a TPR court date as soon as the following week. He also told me that he invited the adoptive parents to come and see the baby later on that evening and that he would be there for that. I called my best friend and asked her to come in at the same time. She did, I don't remember much of that evening, I kind of blacked it out. All I do know is that I was very angry. Angry about everything. The following day the LSS demon came to see me, she asked me how I was, I told her fine, as I am custom to answer when asked that question. She then told me no, I wasn't fine, I was grieving, and that it was okay because it was all apart of the grieving process. She handed over the papers to the boyfriend to read. He read them thoroughly and told me to sign, I did, and she notarized it. She then was telling the boyfriend about how I was feeling and going to be feeling. I got mad and yelled at her and told her that I was sick and tired of her telling me how I was feeling, and that she didn't know how I was feeling, and I was so tired of every fucking thing. She left in a hurry. The boyfriend shortly followed as my mom and sister came to visit me. My mother asked me for the first time if I was alright or if I had wanted to go through with this, I was so upset that all I could do was cry. I cried for the rest of the evening. When the boyfriend came to pick me and the baby up, I told him that I wanted to take our son home, and parent because I had everything there, he told me no, that we were going to take him to the "bridge care" family. And that was to be for the best. I cried from the time he said that till I finally passed out from exhaustion.

I set up the first Dr. appointment and went to that. The boyfriend kept me from otherwise visiting my son at bridge care, because he wouldn't bring me, and I felt like I didn't have the ability to go there on my own. The court date was set for the following week. (only 2 weeks after I had my son.) On the way to the hearing the boyfriend told me what to say and when to say it. We also met up with the lawyer for LSS. (I refuse to call him an attorney because he is only out for himself and he's a ruthless shark.) I was a zombie for the hearing, I didn't know what was going on, I was numb to the world until the judgment was made. Then I started crying. All I could do was cry. We were suppose to have time alone with our son after the hearing but by the time we got there the adoptive parents were already there packing up my son. I never even got to say good bye.

A couple of weeks went by and I called the adoptive parents up to check on my son. They informed me that the boyfriends family never even knew that they were going to be grandparents. They also told me to forget about the boyfriend and move on with my life. A week after that the boyfriend called me and told me that we were done. That he had never loved me and that he never intended to marry me or be with me. I was completely broken hearted. Because of him, I gave up what was most important to me. A week and a half later I filed a motion to reconsider and an intent to appeal. The motion was denied, and at the hearing the boyfriend lied and also had a friend of mine lie. (don't worry I'm not friends with that friend anymore) but I am now working with my appellate attorney. I am grateful to know that I have a case. But this is only the beginning.

This is all true, and this is my story. I just don't want anyone to take off with my story.
(c) 2009 Hellajence