It’s a beautiful story about one family focusing on love and relationships rather than race, and the struggles they have with racism. It shows that we’ve got a long way to go in terms of eliminating racism. The story focuses on a family in the US, but I have run across racism in France as well. And while it takes a different shape in Europe, racism exists everywhere and is something we all need to be aware of when raising adopted children.

Amber Austin said she initiated the petition on Change.org because of a plotline involving cheerleader Quinn (Dianna Agron), a teen mother who placed her baby up for adoption. On the show, Quinn is, as the petition puts it, “actively (and with malice)” trying to get the baby back from adoptive mother Shelby (Idina Menzel). In a convoluted twist, Shelby is the birth mother of adopted Glee Club member Rachel (Lea Michele).

More than 1,400 people have signed an online petition asking ‘Glee’ creator Ryan Murphy to produce an adoption Public Service Announcement (PSA) to counteract the fact that the show “perpetuates myths about adoption that harm adopted children, adoptive parents, and birth parents alike.” The PSA would clarify that it is not easy to take a child away from its adoptive parents.

Ms. Austin told The Hollywood Reporter, “When people are considering adoption, there is a lot of worry and confusion about the relationship with the birth mother. I know that ‘Glee’ is a dramatic show, but it uses that drama to talk about important issues like racism, homophobia and sexism. Since adoption is such a core part of ‘Glee,’ the producers have an opportunity to raise awareness about how adoption really works.”

The petition notes that “in real, legitimate adoptions, a birth mother cannot simply take a child away from their family or pop back into a child’s life. … Furthermore, most adoptions in the US are open to some extent, so these dramatic scenes with birthmothers never take place because a relationship exists from the start. For adopted children, the show raises the fear that they may be taken away from their adopted families. And for adoptive parents and birth mothers, the show creates confusion about the nature of adoption — confusion and mistruths that proponents of adoption constantly work to dispel.”

What do you think? Is the Glee storyline problematic for adoptions?

Read the petition letter here.

Visiting the country: A family affair or a solo trip?

If it is not required, I  strongly recommend visiting your child’s country of birth. Not only will it help you bond with your child, it will provide a lot of answers about his or her behavior and will give you with the opportunity to meet with any surviving family members if their whereabouts are known.

The big question is,  do you bring your other children with you or take the trip alone? When we had a court date, I spent 10 days in the country doing the legal work necessary to complete the adoption. It was great meeting our daughter and spending time with her alone. I was able to give her my undivided attention and to bond with her and she thrived.

But the 10 days were very difficult on our oldest back home, who is also adopted. We were worried that she would somehow feel abandoned again and would act out in ways that were unmanageable for my husband.

I had prepared her by repeatedly telling her that I loved her, that I was going to meet her sister and by assuring her that I would be home in 10 days. I also did things to let her know that I was thinking about her while I was away. For example, I hid little notes around the house for her to find when I was away. Sometimes I hid small treasures along with the notes. Once she found a piece of bubble gum wrapped in a note with hearts all over it. Since she is rarely allowed to chew gum, it was a great surprise and a big treat for her.

I also gave my husband a small toy that I knew she would love and told him to give it to her on a day when she was feeling down. Sure enough, one day she was on the verge of a meltdown and told my husband she was worried I wasn’t coming home. He gave her the gift and it worked its magic. She called me to thank me immediately and then ran to the park to show her friends.

But by the end of my trip, the notes and small gifts had lost their magic and the only thing she wanted was for her mother to come home.

A family trip

For a variety of reasons — including that we didn’t know how long it would take to get a visa and feared our oldest would not be able to handle another separation  — we decided make the trip to bring our daughter home a family vacation.

The first few days as a family of 4 were spent at the orphanage and in a hotel nearby. We spent a few hours a day with our daughter’s friends at the orphanage and the rest of the time coloring and playing at the hotel. When we felt she was ready to say goodbye, we went sight-seeing around the country.

We spent the first week at a beach resort and the rest of the time traveling. We had a great time and the girls had a carefree and fun environment in which they were able to learn how to become sisters.

However, as expected, our oldest had some mixed emotions about being back in her country of birth. Despite our best efforts to prepare her,  she was surprised and upset by the poverty she saw. She loved being a big sister but she was also jealous and didn’t like sharing her parents. The myriad of conflicting emotions she experienced confused and upset her.

With time she was able to see the beauty and kindness of the people of her country and she learned we didn’t love her any less because we had another daughter.

Our youngest learned to be a part of our family in a setting that was familiar to her. When you are used to being able to do whatever you want, it is a shock to have someone suddenly tell you what you can and cannot do.  It helped that we were in her country during her adjustment period and she had something that felt comfortable and easy. And while it was not an easy trip, it was a valuable one.

Back home

My biggest fear about adding to our family was that our oldest would regress and our youngest would be difficult to manage during her transition to life in France. Much to my dismay, this is exactly what happened. Having two children is an adjustment. Having two children who are acting up and acting out is frustrating, exhausting and, at times, humiliating — I’ve had a lot of disapproving looks from neighbors who don’t understand why my child or children are screaming or stomping or crying.

I read that sometimes when one child  misbehaves, the other tries to compensate by behaving like an angel. In my case, the opposite happened. When one got upset or frustrated or threw a tantrum, the other joined in. Every once in a while I had two out of control little ones and no idea how to calm them down. Sometimes I did well and was able to calm them without too much trouble. Other times I made mistakes that I tried to learn from (hint: yelling doesn’t work).

What I learned is that sometimes you have to let the tantrum run its course and deal with it afterward. Get the kids home or in your car if you’re out and let them wear themselves out.  When they have calmed down, you can discuss what happened and come up with ways to prevent it from happening again. I had to do this six or seven times so plan on being patient, repeating the lessons and reminding them what they said they would do if they felt a tantrum coming on.

Now if the youngest seems on the verge of a tantrum, my oldest will say, “quick, we have to put on some music and dance, she said that will help her.” The youngest does the same when the oldest is cranky. It doesn’t always work, but it’s nice that they try to help each other.

Stay on message

It’s also important that you and your partner stay on message with the children during the first few months. Be clear about what is acceptable and what is not. Set rules and stick to them. Discipline to teach, but make sure the punishment fits the crime and that the lesson is clear. And remember, your newest addition may not understand you as well as you think. Make sure what you are trying to say is what is being understood. This is especially important if English is not the child’s first language.

One-to-one time

Something I realized early on is it was very difficult for me to spend time alone with our oldest daughter. Our youngest was clingy and not fully comfortable with my husband and anytime I went out, she was with me. I could see it upset our oldest so my husband and I decided to make sure we each spent time alone with each of the children. Once a week I take the oldest to her piano lesson and we spend a few hours together afterward.  I try to make the time fun and easy so we can laugh and talk. For example, once we went on a short boat ride, another day we went to a music store and then out to lunch at her favorite restaurant.

My husband takes the opportunity to spend quality time with our youngest. As a result, we’ve both been able to bond more fully with both our children and open the lines of communication between all of us.

Time alone

And finally, I have to admit that I really miss having time for myself. I still haven’t managed to find a lot of time, but I now do set aside at least 10 minutes for myself every day. I have also given up some of the things I did when I had just one child. I no longer belong to the PTA (which is actually a relief). While I will attend most of my daughter’s soccer games this year, I will skip some. And I will not go on every school trip like I’ve done in the past. I divide my time evenly between the kids, but I now factor myself into the equation more than I did before.

Raising two is harder than raising one and it’s more than twice the work because you have so many different things to consider. But it is so worth it. Both our girls are now thriving. And while we are more tired than before, we also laugh more.

* Any child who is a citizen of the Ukraine may be adopted by a foreigner if he or she has been registered with adoption and/or child protection authorities for at least one year  and is at least 5 years old.

* Adoptions will not be granted to people who need consistent medical care.

* Adoptions will not be granted unless both parents meet the requirements (no criminal record, etc.)

The exceptions are:

* A child is younger than 5 can be adopted by a relative

* A child with an illness that is deemed life threatening by the Ministry of Health of the Ukraine may be exempted from the new rule.

* Foreigners who wish to adopt a siblings may do so if one sibling is at least 5 and has been registered with adoption and/or child protection services for at least one year.

The corresponding bill is registered under number 7332.

By Jerrie Alp, Hong Kong

Adopting while living overseas can be very challenging. There are no guidelines to follow and you can often feel like you are trying to work things out all on your own. The most important thing you can do is research, research and more research…and where there wasn’t a way before you will find one.

Below you’ll find some key steps and considerations that you need to keep in mind as an Australian Expat adopting while living overseas. Please note this only my understanding. There may be parts that have changed under new rules but you’ll see there are link references where you can check for the latest information.

The key steps are:

Find out if the country / government where you live will allow you to either adopt locally or from overseas and the relevant rules thereof e.g. immigration rules for bring adopted child in.

Identify the country you want to adopt from and the relevant rules/processes/agencies/contacts within that country. This would include who can do your home study.

Establish contact with the relevant Australian Consulate in the city you live in (will adopt from). Initially to gain your letter of no objection and later to apply for your child’s adoption visa, citizenship and passport.

Collect all relevant documents for dossier and home study.

Submit adoption application either locally or overseas via facilitator, lawyer or agency.

Work through the process. Once adoption is complete, ensure you have documents/applications in place to gain entry visa or dependents visa for your child to get into the country you will live in.

If you haven’t already done so, apply for adoption visa and then later – citizenship and Australian passport.

More detailed information:

A. The Country You will live in / adopt from. Where you adopt from and how you go about it depends a lot on the country you will be adopting from:

In some countries you can adopt locally. E.g. adopt locally while living in Hong Kong. Each country will have their own rules re prerequisites (e.g. how long you need to live there first) or requirements (e.g. age, marital status).

Some countries have locally based agencies that can assist you to adopt from other countries. E.g. In Hong Kong ISS (International Social Services) assist with adoptions from Thailand, Philippines, China, India and Russia.

Using an agency based overseas. In some cases you can use an agency based overseas (usually an American one) which will assist you to complete an adoption from another country. In these cases they will either fly in a social worker to complete your home study or if there are independent and accredited social workers where you live you might be able to use them.

Private adoptions – where you can not use local services or agencies you can do a private adoption where you directly hire a social worker to complete the home study and communicate directly with an orphanage either with someone at the orphanage or via a facilitator or solicitor. All court proceedings are usually managed by your lawyer / facilitator.

Local Immigration rules. Each country has it’s own immigration policies as to how dependent adopted children can gain access/ a visa to reside in the same country as their adoptive parents. Find out what your local immigration rules are for bringing in your adopted child before you start the adoption process. For example in Hong Kong, we are supposed to apply for our child’s “dependant visa” once the adoption is complete – while still in the country of adoption. We need to provide evidence of a genuine relationship between applicant & sponsor; we have to show that we can financially support the dependant and show that there is no known record to the detriment of the dependent/applicant. This process  can take up to 6 weeks. In some cases/countries you can first apply for a tourist visa (in a matter of days) & then apply for a change in status once back home). This is what we did.

B. Identify the Country you want to adopt from. Some people have a very specific country they want to adopt from and others are open to where they adopt from. Some of this depends on where you live and adopt from and the rest of it is down to a lot of research as to what programs are open and possible for you as an Australian living overseas.

I found it very useful to look at the U.S. Department of State website. It not only talks about the basics of intercountry adoption, but also explains the Hague Convention and lists adoption information by country including the key rules for adopting from that country and sometimes has the relevant contacts. You can usually exchange the US immigration rules with the Australian immigration rules…the general US state intercountry adoption page is:

http://www.adoption.state.gov/

You can also look up the country specific information here.

For e.g  Ethiopia:

http://adoption.state.gov/country_information/country_specific_info.php?country-select=ethiopia

There is some really useful information. For e.g. there are contact details for MOWA – the ministry that handles adoptions in Ethiopia.

Some of the key countries that people are adopting from at the moment (only from what I have heard) are Russia, China, Ethiopia, Philippines, India, Thailand, Ukraine and Poland. Many countries allow you to adopt locally and usually have residency requirements.

Another great reference is the Joint Council of Children’s Services. This website usually has up to date information on which programs are open, which are experiencing delays etc

http://www.jointcouncil.org/

Home Study / Dossier Component for Australians

Most home studies contain the following information:
Your suitability as adoptive parents
Description of where you live
Background clearances
Financial information
Medical certificates
Marriage certificates (or dissolution certificates) if relevant
Birth certificates
Reference letters
Power of attorney letters

All these documents either need to be certified copies provided by the relevant authority (e.g Births Deaths and Marriages) or authenticated as required (see below on notarisations and apostille). Note you don’t want to start this process too early / before finding your contacts / agency as most documents have a ‘valid period’ and may need to be re-issued.

Some countries have semi-government bodies who can conduct home studies. In most cases, I believe Australians use an independent social worker if they cannot use an adoption agency’s social worker. There is a document under the Files section for Asia (within the Australian Expat Adoption Yahoo group) that lists some of the current home study suppliers in Asia. The best thing to do is to find out if there are any local providers first and then start looking at flying someone in. The American forums for adopting while overseas also have a lot of information and sometimes posts on there can connect you with a local social worker. If you are working with an agency, they usually have someone on their books.

* A special note I want to make here is about post-placement requirements. Some countries (if I remember correctly like Russia) require post-placement reports that can extend into two years after the child has been adopted. This is all fine if you are still living overseas but parents need to watch this part if they intend and declare that they will move back to Australia during this period. In Australia, adoptions are managed by state government bodies. The adoption authority in the adoption country may ask for documentation which shows that the parents will be able to provide post-placement reports once back in Australia.

* Police checks. In some cases you need to provide criminal clearances for the last 5-10 years.  Criminal clearances for the country of residence – in some countries Australians can apply directly to the local police authorities. In other countries, such as Hong Kong this can only be done in conjunction with the relevant Australian Consulate i.e. The parents ask the Australian Consulate to write to the police authorities to help them get a criminal clearance report as some police authorities generally provide this service for immigration purposes. Criminal clearances for Australians for their time in Australia are applied for via the Australian Federal Government. The relevant application form & information can be accessed at this link:
http://www.afp.gov.au/what-we-do/police-checks/national-police-checks.aspx

* Notarisation & Apostilles: For most documents which were sourced in Australia or which needed to be signed by references or accountants in Australia, I had these notarised and apostilled in Australia by a licensed Notary Public. Explanations of this process in Australia can be found at these two links.
http://www.notarylocator.com.au/notariesExplained.php
http://www.notarylocator.com.au/notariesApostilles.php

For documents sourced in Hong Kong or where I had the originals in Hong Kong I had these processed in Hong Kong via a solicitor who is a licensed notary.

C.  Australian Government / Australian Visas.

As far as I understand the following applies to all Australians regardless of which overseas country they live in. They need to ask the Australian Consulate or Australian foreign office where they are living for a letter that is generally called a  ”Letter of No Objection” for them to adopt from their nominated country. Also, most agencies / adoption authorities also require some form of acknowledgment from the Australian Government that there is a process in place which allows Australians to adopt while living overseas and that they can get citizenship for their adopted child.

I think getting this letter is wise even if it is not asked for so that you can ensure your foreign office is going to be co-operative when it comes to applying for your child’s Australian citizenship and passport. This letter just ensures that you as an Australian Citizen understand / satisfy the following criteria (this is taken from our letter):
” A foreign child adopted without the involvement of an Australian adoption authority by an Australian citizen or permanent resident must meet the following legal requirements in order to be granted permanent entry to Australia:

1. the adoptive parent has been residing outside Australia for at least 12 months, and that residence was not for the purpose of adopting a child (i.e. later when applying for your child’s citizenship, you must provide a written statement outlining reasons for the adoptive parent’s residence overseas. Part of the reason for this is to show that you did not move overseas to circumvent the adoption queue / system in Australia – which is currently run by the government & is very lengthy when adopting from overseas).
2. the adoption of the child has taken place in accordance with the adoption laws of the child’s country.
3. the adoption order grants full & permanent parental rights to the adoptive parent.
4. the authorities of child’s country agree to the child migrating to Australia.
5. the child is under 18 & meets health & character requirements for entry to Australia. [Health checks must be made and examination forms must be provided as part of your Australian visa application. The Australian Government provides a list of doctors (in your relevant country) approved by Australian Authorities who can conduct medical examinations].

If your citizenship application is denied for health reasons or because the Australian Consulate believes your adoption was not completed legally or the child has been trafficked – you face a long battle and may be stuck living overseas till the situation is resolved. Hence I think it’s important that all prospective adoptive parents obtain this letter and fully understand the Australian Government’s requirements.

In terms of the process for applying for Australian Citizenship, the current provisions are that unless the child is adopted under full Hague Convention provisions, the child must be initially sponsored by the parents for a Permanent visa (also called Adoption Visa). In some cases I have heard of families getting this visa within weeks and in others – like ours – it took ten months, as there was no Australian consulate in the country we adopted from and they had to request the Moscow office to verify the legitimacy of our adoption.

Once your child has their permanent visa – they can travel in and out of Australia or live in Australia.
After the child acquires a Permanent visa / Adoption Visa, you then apply for Citizenship by Conferral for the Child. See below. It is after this that the child can apply for their Australian passport.
http://www.citizenship.gov.au/

Information about child migration where a child has been adopted can be found at:
http://www.immi.gov.au/allforms/booklets/1128.pdf

The last time I looked, the above two links include all the Australian Government laws, rules & forms Australians need to be aware of when completing an adoption overseas. It is very worthwhile becoming familiar with this information.

Adoption Education

In some countries, local agencies (some government based) provide adoption education. These are usually very useful in helping you prepare for adoption and you usually meet other families going through the same thing as you are. If there are no local services you can do some training online – we were required to do this as part of our home study and present the relevant completion certificates. Adoption Learning Partners provides some great courses – some of them are free:

http://www.adoptionlearningpartners.org/index.cfm

The courses I got the most out of where:

With Eyes Wide Open – A preparation for international adoption
The Journey of Attachment
Lets Talk Adoption

I hope this helps. Best wishes on your adoption Journey.

HOME STUDIES FOR CHINA ADOPTIONS
1. Home Study assessments must be done by Hague accredited agencies. Home Studies written by non-Hague approved agencies will not be accepted.

2.Home Study reports must include at least 3 reference letters, as
attachments to the Home Study. MAA will provide our clients with more
details about what is required in these letters.

3. The Home Study Social Worker will determine if the applicants should have a professional psychological evaluation for the Home Study. The evaluation will be required if either adoptive parent (a) has received counseling or therapy in the past; (b) are currently receiving counseling or therapy; (c) have potential emotional problems, such as history of alcohol abuse, history of mental or physical abuse, or suffered emotional loss or trauma. The Social Worker can also determine if there are other reasons to require the psychological evaluation.

4. The Adoption Training requirement will increase to 12 hours, and should include participation in an adoptive parent support group. MAA will provide our clients with more details about what is required to meet this new training requirement.

These new Home Study requirements will apply to all new adoptions that are initiated after October 1, 2011.

POST PLACEMENT REPORTING FOR CHINA ADOPTIONS

1. Post Placement Reports must be done by Hague accredited agencies.

2. A total of six (6) reports must be submitted after the adoption. The
reports will be due at 1 month, 6 months, and 12 months. Additional
reports will be due at 2 years, 3 years, and 5 years after the adoption
(unless the child turns 18 years old before the report is due). MAA will
provide our clients with more details about what is required to meet
this new reporting requirement.

3. Each Post Placement Report must include a minimum of 8 photographs of
the child showing his/her current life and family.

These new Post Placement requirements will apply to all families who
receive their Travel Approval after August 1, 2011.

CCAA includes in this notice that they plan to visit adopted children in
the USA and will arrange more “heritage” tours to China. **Please note -
CCAA can only visit your family with your approval. They do not have the
authority to take an adopted child away from a family. CCAA plans to
work with agencies to arrange visits to families and they hope to
understand the living conditions and adjustment of the children who are
coming here from China.

The other requirements in this CCAA notice relate to the work that
agencies do and our reporting requirements for CCAA. Clearly, this will
create more work for agencies, but it is CCAA’s hope that these new
requirements will help families and children adjust after the adoption
and prevent adoption dissolutions in the future.

More information is expected soon.

The US Office of Children’s Issues launched a new adoption website with additional information for American expats who want to adopt while living abroad. In addition to  information about adoption steps, it provides access updates in the process and changes in country requirements.

The site has new sections dedicated to describing the overall process as well as specific information on the Hague Convention process, country specific information, Immigrant Visas, and information geared towards the adoption

Visit the site: http://adoption.state.gov/adoption_process/who_can_adopt/livingabroad.php

Our adoption story, like that of so many others, began many years before we actually became parents.  We have been married almost 15 years, but the first few years flew by in a whirlwind of graduate school, establishing careers, etc.   Like many people, we assumed everything would just come “naturally” once we were ready to start a family.  Well, of course, it didn’t work out that way.  Fortunately for us, we had always planned to adopt and had assumed we would one day have a beautiful, blended family of both adopted and biological children.

We had actually signed up with an adoption agency before we even knew about our infertility.  But, soon after beginning the adoption process, I had my first gynecological surgery.  Afterwards, the doctor told us natural conception would not be possible for us.  We were devastated.  Many of our family and friends assumed that since we were already planning to adopt, our infertility was somehow easier to accept.  It wasn’t.  As many people reading this may know, infertility is an emotional roller-coaster, and it can create a powerful cycle of depression and despair.  I was sad, hurt, disappointed and angry.  I felt terrible and selfish for being jealous of pregnant friends and family or even random strangers.  I felt guilty that my husband wouldn’t have biological children because of me.  For a time, infertility robbed me of my sense of myself, and I felt weak and powerless and pathetic.  People pitied me.  I pitied myself.  It is such a difficult place to be, and it can seem as though you’re in a deep, dark pit all alone.  But, you’re not alone, and, if you’re reading this and you’re trapped in that cycle, please reach out to someone who has been there.

We tried IVF, but it never worked and my body reacted quite badly to all the drugs.  For me, at least, it seemed like a sick joke to take IVF meds when I was already riding the infertility roller-coaster.  I felt (and probably acted) like a crazy lady.  So, we stopped.  We picked ourselves up and we moved on, literally as well as figuratively.  We moved overseas in 2005 and re-started the adoption process once we were settled.  We talked only briefly about domestic adoption – it seemed out of reach, especially once we moved abroad.  We couldn’t imagine that anyone would choose us or how hard it would be waiting to see if the birthparents changed their minds or what it would be like having an open adoption.  So, we focused on international adoption because it seemed like an “easier” ABC kind of process with a greater likelihood of coming home with a child at the end of it.  We had no idea that we would spend the next three years spinning our wheels waiting for an international adoption that was destined never to be.

Somewhere in the midst of all the paperwork and waiting, we got a phone call from my aunt back in the US.  She dropped a big, beautiful bomb shell:  a woman she knew had approached her and asked if she knew someone who would consider adopting her unborn baby.  We were shocked, amazed, thrilled and terrified to hope all at the same time.  Soon after, we started speaking to the birthmother directly.  We bonded, and she asked us to adopt her baby.

Since we were chosen directly by the birthmother, this was an independent adoption.  We hired an attorney for ourselves and one to represent the birthparents.  Independent adoptions (also known as private adoptions) involve only the birthparents, the adoptive parents, the lawyers, the court and, hopefully, some counseling support for the birthparents.  Three months after my aunt’s call, we flew to the US to be there when our daughter, Elizabeth Hannah, was born.  She was born in an adoption-friendly state, and her adoption was finalized when she was just 12 days old.  She had her passport at 15 days old, and we flew back “home” overseas the day after that.  It still seems like a dream to us, but we just celebrated her 5th birthday.

Elizabeth’s adoption was a blessing beyond measure, but we still hoped to complete our pending international adoption as well.  Unfortunately, that fell apart 18 months later, just one week before our court date.  Just as with our infertility, we couldn’t understand why international adoption worked for so many other people but not for us.  It was a hard time in our lives, but we also realized how blessed we already were.

A year and a half later, we got another surprise phone call from my aunt.  Another young woman had heard about us from a family friend who also knew our daughter’s birthmom.  This young woman was 8 months pregnant and wanted to talk to us about adopting her baby.  We started talking to her and, soon, she chose us to be her baby’s parents.  We were just as humbled and just as honored to be chosen by the birthparents the second time as we were the first time.  Everything happened so fast yet, at the same time, it felt like we were moving in slow motion.  Two weeks later, we flew to the US to be with her, and three weeks to the day of our first conversation, I was in the delivery room when our beautiful daughter, Sarah Grace, was born.  Her birthmom even asked me to be the one to cut the umbilical cord.  It was a moment I will never forget.

Sarah’s adoption was also an independent adoption, but, since she was born in a different state with different adoption laws, we had to wait 6 months for her final adoption decree.  But, we received the interlocutory adoption decree when she was 2 weeks old, and we were able to get her passport and travel soon thereafter.

Looking back, it all seems so much more simple and straightforward than it felt like it was at the time.  Adoption is a very emotional journey, and there are almost always some issues along the way.  People often ask us about our adoption story and then tell us it’s amazing.  And it is.  But, all adoption stories are.   For those of you who are still waiting, hang in there and know your time will come.  Then, you will have your own adoption story to share.  I, for one, can’t wait to hear it!

Adoptive Family Magazine has some excellent articles about independent adoptions from the US. Here are a few links to stories that provide more information:

Domestic US Adoptions

Independent Adoptions (with a list of state guidelines)

Perceptions and realities about domestic US adoptions

Find an adoption attorney in the US

1) the assumption that corruption in intercountry adoption is systemic and rampant and

2) the Ministry’s resources should be focused on the children for whom intercountry adoption is not an option. Without further announcements by the Government of Ethiopia, it is our understanding that the Ministry’s plan will be initiated this week.

The Ministry’s plan is a tragic, unnecessary and disproportionate reaction to concerns of isolated
abuses in the adoption process and fails to reflect the overwhelmingly positive, ethical and legal
services provided to children and families through intercountry adoption. Rather than eliminate
the right of Ethiopian children to a permanent family, we encourage the Ministry to accept the
partnerships offered by governments, NGOs, and foundations. Such partnerships could increase
the Ministry’s capacity to regulate service providers and further ensure ethical adoptions.

The Ministry’s plan which calls for the processing of only five adoption cases per work day, will
result not only in systemic and lasting damage to a large sector of social services, but will have
an immediate impact on the lives and futures of children. Moving from over 4,000 adoptions per
year to less than 500 will result in thousands of children languishing in under-regulated and
poorly resourced institutions for years. For those children who are currently institutionalized and
legally available for adoption, the Ministry’s plan will increase their time languishing in
institutions for up to 7-years.

Joint Council respectfully urges the Ministry of Women’s, Children’s and Youth Affairs to
reconsider their plan and to partner with governments, NGOs and foundations to achieve their
goals and avoid the coming tragedy for children and families.

From the Joint Council on International Children’s Services. Read the organization’s report on Ethiopia.

Sign a petition asking Ethiopia to reverse their opinion.

Americans can receive a tax credit to cover adoption costs. There have been some changes to the adoption tax credit, specifically:

* Before the adoption tax credit helped pay for tax liabilities and adoption costs were subtracted from the family’s tax liability. Under the changes, even if an adoptive family does not owe any taxes, they will receive the adoption tax credit as a refund.

* The maximum adoption credit has been increased from US$12,150 to US$13,170 and will remain at the higher figure through 2012. In 2012 the tax credit is scheduled to decrease to US$5,000.

* If the adoption tax credit in previous years was more than owed, the excess amount can be carried over for five years. This means that past adoption tax credits can be refunded in 2010.

Below you will find the necessary forms.

Application: 2010 f8839

Instructions: n-10-66

Creating a Family has included a section on adoption tax credit that is very informative. Visit their site for more information.