Adoption Search Blog

Deciding to Search

Lisa B — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 19:30:51 +0000

As an adoptee who had a relatively uneventful childhood, searching for my birthparents wasn't a consuming goal for me growing up. I had a natural curiosity regarding obvious biological things: did anyone look like me, where did my blue eyes come from, who could I blame for this skin that burns in the slightest sun? Sometimes I would fantasize about how different my life might have been if I had been raised by my biological family or wonder if I had any siblings. As I became an older teenager, I developed a persistent concern that I might accidentally fall in love with a biological... more

Mystery & the Adoption Experience

Lisa B — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 22:36:33 +0000

When Oscar Wilde wrote that "the final mystery is oneself," we can assume he was referring to an individual's ability to develop self awareness. He might just as well have been referring to the journey that many adult adoptees take when they undertake a search to discover their biological roots. Our greatest mystery happens to be ourself: a mystery created when adoptions were hidden, closed, disguised from the world. Whether by design or by chance, adult adoptees find themselves in a position to undertake a Sherlock Holmes-like voyage of discovery whose ending cannot be predicted.

My... more

Washington State Adoption Search

Jan Baker — Fri, 08 Jun 2007 06:48:00 +0000

Although I am usually fairly faithful in keeping up with comments, I found a buried request recently for information about searching in Washington State. Washington State does have the confidential intermediary system. My son found me through the agency in Washington that handled his adoption. It took them nine months to find me as I had moved several times over the years. There were also several name changes as well due to marriage and divorce.

Using confidential intermediaries... more

Reunion Story - Mother & Child - Co-Workers

Jan Baker — Thu, 07 Jun 2007 07:15:42 +0000

This reunion story is another of those stories that make you shake your head at the interesting twist in the story. An adoptee who searched for her birth mother discovered that ten years previously that she and her birth mother had worked in the same beauty salon. They had little chance to talk though or they might have discovered their connection at that time.

I know another adoptee who discovered that several years before reunion that he and... more

Birth Mothers' Needs for Privacy? Again?

Jan Baker — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 15:22:28 +0000

This editorial states that:

Adoptive adults deserve sympathy and support in reconciling with their fate. What they don't need is a proposed state law granting them access to records that make it easier for them to identify and contact their birth parents.

Adoptees do not need sympathy or support if their "fate" is adoption. They need their adoption records and should have a right to them. How insulting is it... more

Unlocking the Past

Jan Baker — Fri, 01 Jun 2007 07:02:46 +0000

Unlocking the Past - A State Senator's Awakening Ignites His Crusade For The Rights Of Adoptees is a news article about a state senator and mayoral candidate and his adoption journey.

Connecticut Senator Bill Finch was told when he was 8 or 9 years old that he was adopted. He says that even after that, it never occurred to him that he had "anything less than an idyllic childhood."

"It was only after I started having... more

How to Use Reunion Registries

Jan Baker — Wed, 30 May 2007 08:24:48 +0000

Adoption reunion registries can sometimes match people quickly. However, most registries are mutual consent registries and only work when both parties sign up.

Many people are not aware of these registries which cuts down on the probability that they will result in a match. However, with the popularity of the Internet, I believe that more people find their way to registries every day. Reunite.com's registry currently has over 300,000 people registered. Below are some points to regarding the... more

How to Reconnect at Reunion

Jan Baker — Tue, 29 May 2007 08:20:59 +0000

In some reunions, there is an instant and immediate connection. The other party may seem somewhat familiar. There may seem to be many common interests between the two parties, and often many similarities in personalities. The more like minded the two parties are, the greater the probability that they may feel an instant connection.

Sometimes the two parties seem nothing alike. The person that they meet at reunion seems like a stranger, an alien. Nearly every belief that they have may be in opposition to the other party's beliefs.

In... more

Holocaust Survivor Refuses Reunion

Jan Baker — Sat, 26 May 2007 03:34:27 +0000

Holocaust Survivor Refuses Reunion is a sad story. Whenever I hear about a birth mother refusing contact, I feel deep sorrow not only for her child, but for her. I believe that refusing reunion is partially due to fear and not understanding the positive benefits of reunion.

A reunion could ignite bad memories, Gottefeld said. "It might bring back all sorts of things that in order to continue to live, and not to become too depressed, to build... more

Mother and Son Reunion

Jan Baker — Thu, 24 May 2007 08:48:12 +0000

Mother and Child Reunion is one of those "feel good" reunion stories that warms the heart. Well, it warms your heart if you like the idea of reunions; not everyone does.

Then she began to panic. Her first thought: "How am I going to lose 20 pounds overnight?"

I could not help but laugh at the comment above made by the birth mother found by her son, and preparing to meet him. How many birth... more