Adoptive Momma of Three

Valentine's Day

2012-02-14T14:02:00.000-06:00

Brice is having a Valentine's Day party at school. He left this morning with a bag of goodies for his classmates and container full of cookies. He was excited his dad was able to take off of work to attend his special class party.

I spent my Valentine's Day with my two youngest Valentines. I let Rogan chose what we did today and of course my little redneck chose a day at Bass Pro Shop. We played in the boats, ATVs, checked out all the animals and ate lunch at Uncle Buck's Cafe.

When we arrived home I received a surprise bouquet of flowers. Brian and I are not big on doing gift exchanges for the holidays so I was shocked last night when he brought me home two gift bags of clothes and then roses this afternoon. Happy Valentine's Day!

Museum Trip

2012-02-12T09:55:00.000-06:00

Yesterday we drove to OKC to take the kids to the natural history museum. The boys love the dinosaur bones and have a blast in the exploration room. We just so happened to run into our very dear friends while we were there and the kids took over the place. It was a great day!

Just Pictures

2012-02-09T19:46:00.001-06:00

Big girl using her high chair.

She's spoiled by all of us, her brothers included.

The boys counting their Valentine's Day loot from their grandparents.

Brice, used to have to be bribed and we had to beg to get a decent photo of him has now reached the point where he wants his photo taken constantly and is posing for photos.

Apparently, Maizey the dog is into posing as well.

NYC Adoption Conference

2012-02-09T10:58:00.002-06:00

NYC Adoption Conference – Early Bird Registration Fee Ends 2/11

FIVE Reasons to Attend Adoption Conference in NYC – 3/11/12

Ask questions to leading experts in the field.

Discuss your thoughts and concerns about the process

Obtain information from top adoption attorneys and agencies.

Pick the adoption path that is right for you.

Talk to other adoptive and prospective adoptive parents.

Please join internationally recognized speakers including Adam Pertman,
Executive Director of the Evan B Donaldson Adoption Institute, Dr. Jane
Aronson ("pediatrician to the stars"), Boris Gindis, Director of the BG
Center, adoption social workers, psychologists, adoptees, birth and
adoptive parents as we introduce programs and services to the New York
metropolitan community. Twenty-six different workshops will provide
education and support to those at any stage of the adoption process, as
well as to adoptive families and friends. Come hear personal stories,
develop strategies to overcome challenges, and get accurate information
to make the right choice for you and your family.

The Ametz Adoption Program's 18th annual Adoption and the Family
Conference is on Sunday, March 11th, 2012 in NYC.

To view the full program, presenter bios and registration information,
including fees, go to: www.jccany.org/ametzconference
<http://www.jccany.org/ametzconference> , email us at Ametz@jccany.org
<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BrooklynPostadoptionsupportgroup/post?pos\
tID=waH2oNdzysnaG65H5TMN3Afu3HhTu92ygamlJqw1kLzC5v7igZPKaxGyhpWM4rzlw1-H\
eVzu4Wz4> or call 212-558-9949. Scholarships available. NASW CEUs
available upon request.

Kathy Brodsky, LCSW
Director, Ametz Adoption Program/JCCA
120 Wall Street - NYC - NY - 10005
212-558-9949
www.jccany.org <http://www.jccany.org/>
NY and NJ licensed agency
Full Hague Accreditation through 2013

Waiting Children

2012-02-06T15:24:00.001-06:00

I receive the following emails through an adoption list serv. I do not have personal experience with the agencies or facilitators. Please practice due diligence and research the postings.
___________________________
Hi there, we are A Rainbow's End Adoption Svcs. We are a CA Health and Human Services registered facilitator in So. California. We have been in business 28 years. We have a couple of Hispanic situations looking for at least one Adoptive parent being Hispanic. Our fees are $4000 to sign up, $12,000 total. Situations range from $22K-$30K including our fees, legal and bm expenses. Bm is in No. California, no drugs, or alcohol. We have a prgnancy verification. If you are serious and have questions or would like to discuss this situation further, please email me Brenda C. Kelly at bkelly5100@aol.com or contact me at 714/425-8912. Thank you!

Adoption Tax Identification Number

2012-02-05T10:53:00.000-06:00

If you are able to claim the adoption tax credit this tax season but your child does not yet have their social security number you will need an Adoption Tax Identification Number (ATIN). Questions regarding ATIN click here!

Unsure whether you are able to claim your adoption expenses this tax year? click here

TX Sibling Group

2012-02-04T19:47:00.002-06:00

Adoption Conference

2012-02-03T09:59:00.001-06:00

Adoption and the Family Conference- March 11, 2012- NYC
The Conference Center
130 East 59th Street (between Park and Lexington Avenues), Manhattan
Sunday, March 11, 2012 from 8:45AM-5:00PM

Ametz Adoption Program of the Jewish Child Care Association is a licensed agency
in New York and New Jersey. For over 28 years, Ametz has been helping singles
and couples of all religious and cultural backgrounds pursue domestic and
international adoptions. Ametz's services include adoption homestudies,
educational workshops, counseling, and support groups. The annual Adoption and
the Family Conference is the highlight of the year, when Ametz showcases its
programs, collaborations, and resources throughout the adoption community.

This year's conference begins with the KEYNOTE: ADOPTION THROUGH THE
GENERATIONS, with Adam Pertman, Executive Director of the Evan B. Donaldson
Adoption Institute. In this keynote address, hear one of the country's leading
experts in adoption examine the historic changes that have taken place in the
adoption community, explain their effects on all of use, and look forward with
strong recommendations for "Rethinking Adoption in the 21st Century".

Twenty-six (26) additional workshops cover everything you could want or need to
know about adopting domestically or internationally, or living as an adoptive
family. Hear which international adoption programs are open, the best way to
develop relationships with birth parents, how to talk to your child and others
about adoption, and much more. Speakers include Dr. Jane Aronson ("pediatrician
to the stars"), Rebecca Harris (joint Council on International Children's
Services), Sam Pitkowsky (President, Adoptive Parents Committee-NYC), Ametz
staff members, members of the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys, adult
adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents.

CEUs available for professionals.
Homestudy education credits available.
Scholarships available.

For additional information, to view the full schedule, to see presenter bios, or
to register, go to www.jccany.org/ametzconference

Kathy Brodsky, LCSW
Director, Ametz Adoption Program/JCCA
120 Wall Street - NYC - NY - 10005
212-558-9949
www.jccany.org
NY and NJ licensed agency
Full Hague Accreditation through 2013

Amazing

2012-02-02T17:22:00.000-06:00

On June 10, 2010 I received an email from Laura, a blog reader who also lives in Oklahoma. She and her husband were looking for information about our adoption agency and she and I corresponded a few times via email. In February 2011, I last I heard they had taken some time to get their home study completed, faced a few obstacles of every day life and finally began to officially wait in December of 2010.

Today, my husband phoned me to let me know Laura and her husband had just asked him to represent them in their adoption finalization! After many years of waiting and losing all hope on becoming parents via domestic infant adoption they are now preparing to finalize. Amazing.

I love adoption.

Groundhog Day

2012-02-02T08:55:00.001-06:00

Adoptive Momma down. No, those savage groundhogs did not get me. I have been away from my blog because last Friday I squatted down to help Rogan put on his cowboy boots and when I stood up my knee popped and locked in place. As many of you know, I have had several knee surgeries so I am used to having issues with my knee but this time I did myself in for a few days.

My mother came to help me with the kids while Brian went out of town for business. Of course, my mother likes to treat me like an complete invalid when I have knee problems. She means well but it sort of drives me nuts although I am sure she gets some enjoyment out of driving me nuts too.

She left this morning after only making sure I was okay. As you may know if you have been a long time reader of my blog Punxsutawney Phil has special meaning to our family. Every year on Groundhog Day my parents do their best to harass their only child.

As I have previously posted, as a small child I did not fully understand Groundhog Day so I developed my own idea. I imagined Groundhog Day to be a day when giant, ferocious, swine beasts came out of the woods to run wild. In my mind it was much too dangerous to step outdoors. Instead of putting my sweet, innocent mind at ease my parents ran with it. So, for the last 30+ years I have been tormented annually. Today was no different. The last few years I wake on Groundhog Day to check my email and find something like this...

2010

The Groundhogs are coming!
The Groundhogs are coming!

Don't you just love tormenting your children?
Happy Groundhog Day!
Mom & Dad

2011

I can’t quite put my finger on it.

But there is something strange going on.

There’s something different but I can’t quite put my finger on it.

Did you ever have the feeling you were being watched?

There seems to be defiance in the air.

It’s kind of a Godfather like feeling.

But don’t you worry; Chuck has got your back.

Aren’t family traditions GREAT!

Happy Groundhog Day!

And here it is my email for Groundhog Day 2012...

HOLY CRAP!!! I almost forgot.

It’s Groundhog Day

Let’s have some fun and go scare Anna

Happy Groundhog Day!

And there you have it, some families have nice normal family traditions...then there is us. Have a great day everyone and be safe out there!

Adoption Webinar

2012-01-23T15:03:00.001-06:00

American Adoption Congress Webinar Series

WHO AM I?

DEALING WITH GENETIC CONFUSION IN THE ADOPTIVE FAMILY AND BEYOND

Webinar with Nancy Verrier, MFT

Few people think about how confusing it is for adoptees to grow up in non-biologic families, especially if they came into the family at birth or soon after. The nurture v nature debate has been going on for years, yet it still hasn't been addressed in any satisfactory way. When one adds separation trauma and the coping mechanisms which result from this wound to the mix, it becomes even more confusing. What is authentic, what is coping, what is adaptation? How is the adopted person supposed to be in the adoptive family and how is s/he supposed to be in any relationship?

In this webinar, Nancy will address the many ways a child struggles to fit into a family and why it is so difficult for many adoptees to do so. The fact that many aspects of these differences are beyond the control of either the child or the parents make genetic confusion and adaptation extremely important to understand. This webinar is especially important for adoptees and adoptive parents, but will be significant for anyone connected to adoption.

Date: Sunday February 5, 2012

Time: 1:00 p.m. PST, 4:00 p.m. EST. Webinar is 60 minutes in length.

Cost: $15 members. $20 non-members.

Payment options: VISA, MasterCard, Discovery, Amex, or check

Computer Requirements: Computer with internet, computer speakers.

To register: Go to www.americanadoptioncongress.org. Click the "Register" button and complete the registration and payment sections. Before the webinar, the AAC will send you a link to the webinar. You must save this link in order to participate in the webinar. When it is time for the webinar, click on the link and follow the prompts. Participation is limited.

Watch for news of the next AAC Webinar in March!

Lynne Banks
My view of what is going on in the adoption world @ www.lynnebanks.blogspot.com
SD State Rep. www.americanadoptioncongress.org

Waiting Child (RAD)

2012-01-23T07:55:00.000-06:00

I receive the following emails through an adoption list serv. I do not have personal experience with the agencies or facilitators. Please practice due diligence and research the postings.

___________________________

This will be handled as a private adoption. All interested parties should contact Gina @ 12forhim@gmail.com
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: ginawilkinsplus11
> To: waitingtoadopt@yahoogroups.com
> Sent: Sunday, January 22, 2012 9:12 PM
> Subject: [SPAM] [waitingtoadopt] Possible situation 6 year old special needs
>
> D is a 6 year old little boy with special needs. D's scars from his experience as an abandoned and abused infant have left him feeling unloved and unwanted. The recurring trauma and fear that he suffered in his past has taught him to refuse to let anyone get close to him. D went through 3 family/relative placements in his first year and disrupted 8 foster homes by the age of 2. He would generally stay in one place for no more than a few weeks because of his deep fear of being abandoned once again by care givers trying to parent him. He acted out behaviorally in an attempt to guard himself from being loved. Because of what D has experienced he protects himself from ever trusting adults.
>
> D has been diagnosed with RAD and other complications due to his disorder. D's problems stem from his birth parents abuse and neglect followed by 14 months of multiple placements in state custody during his very early years of life. His best hope for the future is to be in a family with no younger children. He needs parents that can focus their attention primarily on him. D will need continued counseling and parents that are willing to learn about RAD. A therapeutic home environment will give D the absolute best chance to learn to trust and to love.

Adoption Quotes

2012-01-22T11:35:00.000-06:00

10 Popular Adoption Quotes...

1. “If a mother and father can love more than one child then why is it so hard to understand that a child can love more than one mother and father?” ~ Unknown

2. “When she looks in the mirror, we want our daughter to know herself. It’s hard to face the world when you don’t know where your face came from.” ~ Adoptive parents

3. “However motherhood comes to you, it’s a miracle.” ~ Valerie Harper, adoptive mother

4. “Adoption comes from the heart, but the adoption process comes from the Law. You should follow your heart, but be sure you also follow the law.” ~ Irina O’Rear

5. “An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet,
regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break.” ~ An ancient Chinese belief

6. “Children and mothers never truly part, bound together by the beating of one another’s heart.” ~ Charlotte Gray (This one is pictured on the graphic image above.)

7. “Giving birth does not make a mother…. Placing a child for adoption does not make her less of one.” ~ Unknown

8. “There are two different kinds of strength. There’s the strength to make a parenting plan and then there’s the strength to give that plan to another.”

9. “Having a child means a piece of your heart is walking around in the world.” ~ Unknown

10. “Children need two things. One is roots and the other is wings.” ~ Unknown

Source: Adoption.com

Resources

2012-01-21T10:54:00.001-06:00

A friend of mine sent me an email asking for resources. Her son watched Kung Fu Panda 2 and started having questions and concerns about being adopted. I responded to her and felt I should pass them on to you as well.

The Adoption Guide (one of my fav resources, I even have the app on my phone)

Adoption.com (this link has a long list of resources at the end)

Child Welfare Information Gateway

I also belong to two Yahoo! groups. There are other adoption related groups but these are the two I have been able to gather the most information and resources from. By posting questions to the groups other adoptive parents who have resources or personal experience are able to respond and provide you with information and help. The two groups I use...
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Adoption_a_gift_of_love/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/waitingtoadopt/

I hope some of the above resources are helpful and provide you with information you can use.

Crash and Burn

2012-01-17T19:38:00.002-06:00

This is Brice and Lucky.

Lucky is one of the many horses Brice rides. Last night Lucky went for a run and took off...with Brice on his back. Brice did his very best to get him to stop and did not panic. He did everything he has learned and tried with all his might to get Lucky to stop. Lucky kept going and Brice bit the dust. Literally.

Brice is fine and did not shed a tear. He dusted himself off and got right back up in the saddle. I was very proud of him.

Tonight Brice had another lesson. I thought he might be timid about riding again but he woke up this morning and said to me, "I want to ride Lucky, he's fun!"

I think he has found something he really loves. I hope he decides to ride for a long time. It's a lot of fun to watch him, except when he falls...that makes my heart stop.

Tonight he rode Twister. He asked his trainer Ms Kelly if he could ride Lucky but she said her heart could not handle it. She was still having palpitations from his fall last night. She also bent over laughing when I told her what he said this morning.

Brushing down Twister getting him ready to be saddled.

Loving on Alley one of the barn cats.

Conversion

2012-01-14T18:46:00.002-06:00

As you may recall we got the boys a dog for Easter.

Our sweet Maizey has grown into 40+ lbs of love.

Before

After

She has spent most of her life outside in the backyard. She loves the outdoors and from time to time I bring her inside. She'll run to play with the boys for a while or trip me at my ever step before sitting at the backdoor whining to return outdoors.

Our weather has been relatively mild so far this winter but it will eventually get cold. We got our first dusting of snow last week and I decided it was time to fully convert Maizey to an inside dog.

She has cedar chips in her doghouse and would most likely be perfectly content to remain outside. I know she'd survive because she's...well she's a dog, but I do not like the idea of her being cold.

She sleeps each night inside but recently I have had her spend more time with us during the day. I believe she has adjusted well. She spends her days either at my feet waiting for some type of treat or lounging on the rug.

After a trip to the doggy resort for a bath and nail trim...I think we've converted her.

Redneck Son, Redneck Day

2012-01-11T12:42:00.002-06:00

As I've said before, Rogan is our redneck son. He tells me daily he's a cowboy and he's going to ride bulls. He asked today to go to the "cowboy" store which means the western wear store. The cowboy store and Tractor Supply are Rogan's mecca. In his world Toys R Us and Disney World play second fiddle.

Rogan became so excited in the parking lot it was everything I could do to keep him from running into traffic toward the front door. He was nearly hyperventilating as we walked inside. The next thing I heard was, "Ohhhhh mmmyyyyy gggggooooossssshhhhh Mommy!" He loves it all. The clothes, the boots, the hats, the toys. The store is his little slice of heaven.

He chose two Wrangler button down shirts one in red and one in camouflage complete with pearly snaps. Exactly what every real cowboy needs.

We tried on boots and he found a toy log cabin with hunters, pheasants, hunting dogs and turkeys. As we paid for his shirts and toy and walked toward the car he looked up at me and said, "boy Mommy that was fun".

A quick stop at Krispy Kreme for a donut, then home to try on his new shirts. He put on the red then said, "Mom check it out!"

That's all it takes to make my little redneck's day.

Perfect

2012-01-07T18:11:00.000-06:00

A very common adoption related question I am asked,

"how do you know what to accept in a birthmother"?

My answer is always the same. I repeat the words our adoption social worker told us when we began our first adoption journey nearly 7 years ago. When we asked the same question she answered simply,

"the perfect birth mother does not exist. If she did she would not be a birth mother".

Her advice has always stuck with me. It also put me in my place. I would not have been a perfect bio mother. I am not a perfect adoptive mother. I am a mom who does her best.

It is my belief we were meant to be adoptive parents. We were never meant to be bio parents. Adoption was our destiny and not a wrong turn in our life.

When it came time to check the box on the list of what we accept and do not accept in a birth mother we did our best not to judge. We tried to open our mind and be accepting. We knew what we were capable of and prepared for and in the end we followed our hearts.

Attempting to find the perfect birth mother does not ensure the perfect child. Our children's birth mothers had prenatal care. Drugs were not in our children's prenatal histories. Our children are not perfect.

We all have our issues. I know I have a few.

Pinned!

2012-01-07T17:47:00.003-06:00

I have discovered Pinterest. I am a newbie, building my boards and finding exciting things to pin. I am figuring it all out.

I can see Pinterest could become a problem. It's a wee bit addicting.

Pinterest has a little bit of anything and everything. One exciting thing I found today was me. My little blog had been pinned. I searched adoption and there it was...AM3 pinned 5 times. Someone, actually 5 someones thought my little blog was interesting enough to be pinned.

Thanks, I'm honored. I gotta say, I got pretty stoked about that.

I've been pinned.

Have a great weekend everyone! I'll be pinning!

Play Doh Mania

2012-01-06T18:28:00.002-06:00

Today

2012-01-05T16:45:00.001-06:00

It was a 68 degree January day today so we went to the zoo.

My monkey checking out the monkeys.

Luckily we brought our own map reading tour guide.

He has the turtle statue in a headlock.

At our favorite exhibit...the giraffes.

A zebra escaped it's enclosure while we were there perhaps they were thinking...hmmm what's for dinner?

She cannot explore the exhibits but making faces at mommy is a lot of fun.

Easy rider.

All aboard!!!

Rogan's backside and "come on Mom!" are the most common themes of our zoo trips.

The animals on her safari jumper are more her speed.

First Day

2012-01-04T17:33:00.001-06:00

Rogan and I both survived his first day of preschool. He was a little upset when he realized we would not be staying with him. The teacher showed him the playground and he never looked back. He introduced himself to the class and I was told he was not the least bit shy about the introduction. He stood when the class circled up on the carpet and said, "Hi! I'm Rogan!"

Brice was also glad to go back today after a few weeks off. We are back to our normal routine.

Happy New Year!

2012-01-02T09:00:00.001-06:00

The boys came home yesterday and our house is back to normal. Toys are everywhere and it's loud, very loud just how we like it. I imagine my parents slept well last night. The boys enjoyed themselves in Texas and my parents were even discussing another week with the boys this summer apparently they did not wear out their welcome. Soon little sister will be big enough to keep up and grandma and grandpa will really have their hands full.

Brian and I enjoyed the quiet and it was nice to have Avenn all alone for a while. She was definitely a little spoiled this last week as an only child.

Tomorrow is our last day to stay in our pj's a little too long. Wednesday we're back to an alarm clock and a routine. Rogan has decided he wants to start PreK a semester early. He has been begging us to go to school since Brice started last year. We are going to allow him to attend two half days a week down the road from our house at the Goddard School where Brice was last year. Rogan will be back next year for PreK because he is only 3 but it will make him happy to be able to go a couple days a week right now. We think the socialization and school structure will be good for him. Two of the kids off to school...what will I do with myself?!

I hope those of you that are waiting for your baby to come home become parents in 2012. We had hoped to start off this year without adoption on the brain. Unfortunately, we were unable to finalize Avenn's adoption by year end so we will continue working towards finalization. We will be unable to claim the adoption tax credit next year because we will not qualify. Our fees were paid in 2011 and we needed to finalize in 2011 to claim the credit. It stings that we will not be getting our tax refund of approximately $13,000 but we cannot dwell on the negative. We are thankful for Avenn and she was worth every penny spent and emotional up and down experienced. We have been blessed with three healthy children...nothing to complain about here.

If you need more information on the adoption tax credit and the changes that will be taking effect soon here are some helpful links:
http://www.irs.gov/taxtopics/tc607.html
http://taxes.about.com/od/deductionscredits/qt/adoptioncredit.htm
http://www.irs.gov/newsroom/article/0,,id=236174,00.html
http://www.creatingafamily.org/blog/adoption-domestic-adoption-international-adoption-embryo-adoption-foster-care-adoption/adoption-tax-credit-2011-2012/

Wrap It Up!

2011-12-27T16:57:00.005-06:00

Year end wrap up...

The Mitchells had another blessed year. Our family grew by one beautiful little girl in June. Avenn is such a blessing and sweet addition to our family. We were certainly meant to be a family of five.
I found out my blog is reaching people, I began receiving emails stating a family had been formed due to a post on my blog. My heart grew a little.
We went through a remodel, a busted washer resulting in a small flood, and another remodel.
Oklahoma experienced a blizzard in February creating a little cabin fever around here.
We took vacations to Disney World, Colorado, Branson and San Francisco.
My kid toting SUV was stolen right out of our driveway. It was later found totaled. The bad guys were never found but my car was replaced and we were back on the road.
Our oldest son started kindergarten and he began riding lessons.
Our three year old proclaimed he is a cowboy and he only wears boots. He has stuck by his proclamation.
Brian and I celebrated twelve years of marriage.
I continued to blog about all things adoption although my time for blogging has become very limited. Perhaps less is more?
Brian's firm celebrated two years of successful practice and he finalized several adoptions for local families.
We added another dog to our family. Sweet Maizey Lulu.

We still have our fingers crossed we will finalize Avenn's adoption by year end, although hope is fading. 2011 was a great year. Life is good for the Mitchells.

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-10T18:26:00.003-06:00

The rest of this year will be spent enjoying my family instead of blogging.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!