Adoptive Parenting Blog

On Anti-Adoption Rhetoric...

Courtney O — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 02:16:53 +0000

Let me be the first to say that I believe in the freedom of speech wholeheartedly. If I don’t agree with your stance on something or you personally don’t subscribe to my theories on insert-topic-here, I welcome that difference. As long as there’s no slander/ abusive language or concepts (and the like) involved, I believe the element of debate in speech is one of the greatest freedoms one can maintain.

That said, I will admit to this: the first time I heard a handful of anti-adoption rhetoric, it floored me. I’m not writing this blog today to try to convince... more

Post Adoption Depression Syndrome (PADS)

Courtney O — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 23:45:31 +0000

This is a very difficult post for me to write. I’ve felt strongly inclined to share my experiences with this topic, but at the same time, that doesn’t make it any easier for me to say the words.

After Bear was born, I had a touch of what’s best defined as the “baby blues”. There were days that were rough, but for the most part, I just felt a little down. I was—and still am—blessed with a tremendous support team: my husband, my family and friends, an excellent OB and my amazing PCP. Postpartum Depression... more

Excluding Inclusion: Our Shopping Search

Courtney O — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 14:46:14 +0000

Somewhat inspired by the theme of issues related to race as blogged by Mandy W and Robyn C recently, I would like to introduce my story of the search for the newborn Hispanic Cabbage Patch Doll. No, really. I have a story that actually does aptly fit that description. But while this blog doesn't touch on the same issues discussed by Mandy and Robyn, it does discuss some of the implications of the... more

On Memories and "Firsts"...

Courtney O — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 14:10:38 +0000

It’s Saturday morning, and we have a full day of “home-based” activities on the horizon. We’re baking banana bread (with a hint of lime as I’ve found to be customary in many of my readings about Guatemalan recipes), we have crafts lined up (the kids are really into creations made with construction paper cut-outs of their hands right now), we plan on giving the dog a bath (insert groan here)—a full, nice day. Throw in clean up, most likely bath time, hopefully a nap, and meals, and our day is set. But the weather outside is not typical of August in Chicago; it’s cooler, very autumn-like,... more

On B-Days...and A-Days

Courtney O — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 01:52:58 +0000

When you have kids, birthdays are suddenly a big deal. By birthdays, I mean the birthdays of your child(ren), not necessarily your own birthday. My pre-motherhood birthday celebrations usually involved going out with a bunch of my friends and my main squeeze, all dolled up for a night on the town. Once Bear came along and then Beauty, my birthdays became back seat occasions of my own choosing. But my kids’ birthdays are HUGE events in our home and in our family.

It’s not to say we spend a fortune or throw amazingly lavish parties, but more so we just really celebrate... more

On Attachment and Expectations

Courtney O — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 00:26:44 +0000

When we ran the gamut of informative pre-adoption classes for prospective adoptive parents, there was a lot of discussion centered on one of the “buzz words” of adoption: attachment. Bonding, attachment, connection—you name it, we discussed it in practically every capacity. However, here’s where I admit I failed my pre-adoption prep work; I walked out of that class positively certain “attachment”—in any and all forms—would never be an issue. I mean, how could it? I dreamed of my baby girl night after night. I imagined her soft curls and toothy smiles—the same curls and smiles... more

On Adoptive Parenting: Blending Adoption and Biology

Courtney O — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 21:06:49 +0000

Years before I married or even thought of having children, I knew I wanted to adopt. It's a topic on which I've always felt strongly, but back then I had no idea just how much or how beautifully it would shape my life. The actual details that led my husband and I to adopt merely sealed the deal: this is the path we were destined to take. Adoption has made my life so joyful in so many different ways.

While pregnant with our son, Bear (now three years of age), I elected to take all the genetic screenings offered. One of the blood tests was a screening for the carrier... more

Crazy Love Fest

Renee E — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 14:15:00 +0000

A disclaimer for this post: I do understand that there are many types of parenting relationships. There are same-sex parents, single parents, married parents, separated parents, and others. For simplicity, I will refer to marriage in this post when talking about the parenting relationship.

Challenges in a marriage will either make a couple stronger or tear them apart. Children who have emotional struggles due to past experiences are a challenge to a marriage. Sometimes kids will directly attack the marriage relationship, attempting to divide and conquer. Sometimes it is merely... more

Meds, Meds, and More Meds...What to Do When Your Child is Over-Medicated

Renee E — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 16:00:00 +0000

****I'd like to preface this post by saying that I am NOT a medical professional and do not offer this information as a hard and fast rule for all children. Please speak with your medical professionals before changing any medications for your child.****

Hubby and I have very strong feelings about medicating our children. Often, in the foster care system, kids end up with multiple diagnoses and their corresponding medications because no one really wanted to deal with the root of their behaviors. It is much easier to medicate a child into submission than it is to dig deep and help a... more

Responsibility

Renee E — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 14:15:00 +0000

There comes a time in the life of every parent, adoptive or otherwise, where it is necessary to let a child spread his wings. In the case of an older adopted child, that moment can be harder that one would think.

My son, T, has been begging to be allowed to walk home from school by himself. He is twelve years old and in the sixth grade so this request shouldn't seem shocking. But, I have only been T's mom for a year and a half. I am not ready for him to be doing anything by himself. Our house is close to a mile from T's school. It is on the same street so he doesn't have to... more