Adulcia - Beneath the Surface

Light of the World

2026-03-15T18:26:12.372+13:00

Sunlight from the stained glass window pools across the carpet in front of the altar.

Watercolor and ink.

Not bad for left handed work

2026-03-10T23:05:00.000+13:00

This is what happens when I'm one handed for 5 weeks and most of my usual activities require either 2 hands, or at least my dominant hand.

Alcohol based markers on fiberglass cast.

Oh and PSA: when driving, please take extra care to check the cycle lane when pulling out from a side street.

A Reflection on 1 John: Love or Lie

2025-11-03T14:05:00.002+13:00

The first letter of John is one of those books you may have heard many sermons from if you’ve spent any time in the church. There’s a lot to unpack in every passage. But when you zoom out and read the letter as a whole, in a single sitting (it’s only five chapters — six pages in my Bible) something striking happens.

A single refrain pulses through it like a heartbeat.

Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness.
Whoever hates his brother is in darkness and walks in darkness.
Whoever does not love abides in death.
Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer.
If anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need yet closes his heart against him — how does God’s love abide in him?
Children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God.
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
If anyone says “I love God” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.

John’s message is not subtle. It is terrifying in its simplicity.

“Little children, love one another…”

There is an old tradition about John the Apostle.
When he was very old, too weak to walk, the believers in Ephesus would carry him into the assembly. Every time, he would say only one thing:

“Little children, love one another.”

After hearing it again and again, someone finally asked him, “Why do you always say this?”
And John replied:

“Because it is the Lord’s command. And if this alone be done, it is enough.”

Who is your brother?

This phrase — “love your brother” — echoes all through 1 John (2:9, 3:15, 4:20).
Some translations add words like “fellow believer,” as if John is talking only about church members. But the Greek word he uses is ἀδελφός — adelphos.

Originally meaning brother, by the time of the New Testament it had come to mean any fellow human being.

“A fellow human being, a neighbour in the wider sense, not restricted to one’s own group.” — BDAG
“A person viewed as a fellow human being, especially in contexts of moral duty.” — Louw & Nida

John is not talking about tribal loyalty.
He is talking about how we treat humanity.

He is not speaking only of those who look like you,
or speak your language,
or vote the same way you do.

He is speaking also of those who do not share your beliefs —
those of different religions,
or no religion at all.

The neighbour.
The stranger.
Even the one who opposes you.

Love is the Test

John doesn’t play theological games.
For him, love isn’t one aspect of faith — it is the test of faith.

How we treat another human being
— any human being —
is the evidence of whether we truly know God.

Whoever says they are in the light but hates another is still in darkness.
Whoever hates is a murderer.
If anyone says “I love God” but hates another human, they are a liar — because if you cannot love the one you see, how can you love God, whom you do not see?”

Love Must Be Tangible

John will not let us escape into abstraction.
Love is not an emotion we admire —
it is a life we live.

“Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” (1 John 3:18)

Love feeds the hungry.
Love shelters the stranger.
Love lifts the dignity of those the world pushes aside —
the poor, the minority, the immigrant, the outsider.

A Grief I Cannot Shake

It grieves me — and I believe it grieves the Spirit —
when I see those who claim Christ preaching hate.
When churches march not to embrace the stranger
but to reject them.

Little children, love others.
If this alone be done, it is enough.

Another Tuesday

2025-08-14T11:35:00.000+12:00

The headline in early May prompted me to start a notebook. White House Deputy Chief of Staff told reporters the administration was “actively looking at” suspending the writ of habeas corpus.

I’m just a layperson. I haven’t studied law or political science. But I knew enough to know this was a BIG DEAL.

According to Wikipedia: Habeas corpus is a legal procedure invoking the jurisdiction of a court to review the unlawful detention or imprisonment of an individual, and request the individual's custodian (usually a prison official) to bring the prisoner to court, to determine whether their detention is lawful. The right to petition for a writ of habeas corpus has long been celebrated as a fundamental safeguard of individual liberty.

To paraphrase: habeas corpus prevents unlawful imprisonment. This principle goes back to before the Magna Carta (1215), which contains the clause:

No Freeman shall be taken or imprisoned… nor will We not pass upon him, nor condemn him, but by lawful judgment of his Peers, or by the Law of the land.

When I read that headline, it was a shock—like someone had taken the guardrails off. As commentator RealSpeechProf has warned, when rights stop applying to everyone, they cease to be rights at all—they become privileges that can be withdrawn at will.

The loss of your freedoms and access to justice shouldn’t be another Tuesday.

I started keeping this journal—a blow-by-blow, week-by-week log of events. At first, each entry felt like an alarm bell: banning media outlets, escalating ICE detentions, military deployments in civilian cities.

But it didn’t slow down. The stories stacked so quickly that before I’d finished processing one, another had already dropped. The calendar blurred. Outrage had no time to breathe before the next crisis came along.

The deployment of federal troops in civilian settings shouldn’t be another Tuesday.

Month by month, at a pace like a snowball rolling downhill—except this one’s growing into an avalanche. And somewhere along the way, the shocks start to feel less sharp. That’s the most dangerous part. With each new entry, the extraordinary became ordinary.

What would have been the headline of the year twelve months ago is now just today’s headline.

The POTUS declaring yet another “national emergency” shouldn’t be another Tuesday.

There’s a fatigue that sets in—not just for me as an observer in New Zealand, but for the people living through it. I’ve heard the “nothing surprises me anymore” tone in people’s voices. It’s not apathy; it’s a defense mechanism against being crushed by the weight of constant crisis.

But I can see the patterns:

Eroding the Senate’s authority.
Using the military to bypass civil law.
Scapegoating immigrants.
Manufacturing “national security” crises.
Undermining the judiciary.
Controlling the media.
Rigging the electoral rules.
Weaponizing chaos itself.

It’s a pattern as old as history: from Ancient Rome to the 21st century—and yes, even in fictional galaxies far, far away—the trajectory is the same.

The decline from Democracy to Empire shouldn’t be another Tuesday.

I don’t know what to do with this except write. I’m just an observer at the ends of the earth keeping a diary as a global superpower implodes.

So I’m putting this post out here to say: I see you. I see what’s happening, and I’m keeping a record.

Because as emotionally and mentally draining as this is, it can’t become another Tuesday.

Is Your Supermarket a Coercive Controller?

2025-07-17T12:19:00.000+12:00

What voice-picking, casualisation, and leave manipulation reveal about power and control in New Zealand's supermarket duopoly.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, warehouse and supermarket workers were hailed as essential heroes. They kept shelves stocked and supply chains moving while the rest of us stayed home. But in the years since, many of those workers have found themselves under increasing pressure—from surveillance systems, management double standards, and a broader system that treats human beings as cost units rather than people.

This isn’t just bad management. It’s something deeper: a pattern of coercive control.

1. Signs of Coercive Control in the Modern Supermarket Workplace

Surveillance disguised as support: Workers wear voice-picking headsets that track every movement and pace. Daily "performance percentages" become emotional barometers. The system trains workers to see themselves as efficient or deficient—not human.
Conditional freedom: Staff are pressured to take leave during slow periods (cutting into their earned annual leave), yet routinely denied leave requests when they genuinely need rest. Time off becomes something the employer controls, not the employee.
Gaslighting via team language: Management frames leave requests and compliance as "helping the team," while ignoring workers' own needs. Loyalty is demanded but never reciprocated.
Shifting responsibility: Workers are told to "keep their numbers up" or face consequences—even when delays come from understaffing, equipment issues, or unrealistic targets.
Isolation and disconnection: Headsets reduce opportunities for natural conversation, camaraderie, and mutual support. The system promotes silence and separation.

2. The Industry System: Retail Logistics and Hyper-Lean Efficiency

Warehousing and supermarket distribution are built on tight margins and high turnover. Big employers like Woolworths NZ implement systems that:

Prioritise just-in-time inventory, pushing pressure downstream
Treat casualisation as a cost-saving strategy, replacing stable, permanent roles
Use technology to maximise output at the expense of worker autonomy

Efficiency becomes the only metric that matters. Human limits are treated as inefficiencies to be eliminated.

3. The Cultural Layer: Profit, Dehumanisation, and Control

This isn’t just industry-specific. It reflects a wider economic culture:

Neoliberal logic tells us that if something can be made more efficient, it should be—regardless of human cost.
Short-term shareholder return is prioritised above worker wellbeing or sustainable practices.
Workers in "essential" jobs are celebrated in public but systematically disempowered in practice.

The language of values and care has been replaced with metrics, cost centres, and compliance.

This is what happens when a society values financial outcomes over real value—when human dignity, care, and wellbeing are sacrificed to maintain profitability. When workers are reduced to data points and cost burdens, any sense of shared humanity is lost.

4. The Duopoly Effect: Nowhere to Run

New Zealand’s supermarket industry is dominated by two giants: Foodstuffs and Woolworths NZ. Between them, they control over 90% of the grocery market.

In a competitive market, workers might be able to seek better conditions elsewhere. But in a duopoly:

Bad practices become normalised
There’s no meaningful alternative
Workers feel trapped, not supported

Even consumer activism has limited effect when both companies operate under similar models.

5. Shareholders vs Stakeholders: The Ethical Failure in Management

Much of this systemic harm stems from a narrow focus on shareholder interests. Corporate leaders often justify harmful practices in the name of profitability and shareholder value. But true leadership, as taught in modern management theory, calls for a stakeholder approach.

Stakeholder theory argues that ethical and sustainable businesses consider the interests of all who are affected by their decisions—not just investors, but also employees, customers, suppliers, and the community. In the supermarket supply chain, this would mean:

Prioritising job security over short-term cost-cutting
Providing meaningful leave and rest for workers
Recognising frontline staff as strategic partners, not expendable tools
Building long-term resilience and wellbeing across the whole system

Instead, what we often see is the opposite: a relentless focus on metrics, an erosion of worker dignity, and an abdication of ethical responsibility.

Conclusion: What Would We Call This Anywhere Else?

What your supermarket is doing isn't just inefficient—it’s dehumanising.
It’s not just profit-seeking—it’s control-seeking.

If a relationship outside of work used this kind of manipulation—withholding autonomy, tracking movement, gaslighting through guilt—we’d call it coercive control. We’d call it abusive.
When employers do it, we call it “efficiency.”

If you’re a worker: your discomfort is valid.
If you’re a customer: demand better from the duopoly.
If you’re in management: remember what a stakeholder really is.

The next time your supermarket talks about values—ask them if control is one of them.

This piece draws on lived experiences from warehouse and retail workers across Aotearoa New Zealand. If it resonates, share it. Start a conversation. Challenge the control.

It's been a while...

2024-05-21T10:49:00.004+12:00

So how have you all been?

I know blogging is a lot less of a thing now and everyone's over on Youtube or TikTok, but I'd rather write than do video content, so here I am. I want to start writing again, and this is where I can self publish my content.

I don't know what direction I'll take this yet. Still looking at life and faith and mental health mostly, as those are what my journey has been and still is. Maybe more book reviews too.

And art.

And probably cat pics.

This is Taco Cat.

So, this is an invitation to resume this journey with me. Ready?

Fallen

2018-05-01T07:20:00.001+12:00

The lies overwhelmed me and I fell into this darkness, without the strength to resist them.

Each time I thought I saw hope, and lifted my head, I got whacked back down like a mole in a whack-a-mole game.

Yet here I am. Still breathing. Starting to look for a way to resist the lies again.

How about you? How are you getting on? Perhaps we can lean on each other. You watch my back and I'll watch yours. Together, we might have a chance.

Stubborn is Good

2016-12-14T18:48:00.001+13:00

Especially when fighting against darkness.

Who I am

2016-09-29T16:37:00.001+13:00

Apologies for being missing in action these last few months. The current but of depression I've been battling against seems to have depleted my creative energy in all areas.

However, a new season is coming. The sap of creativity is flowing again.

Here is the result of my reflection on who I am, and what I have received through Christ. (Including, but not limited to...)

With all my heart

2016-05-31T18:34:00.001+12:00

The greatest commandment is this: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.
Deuteronomy 6:5 NIV

What does it really mean to love Him with all my heart?

For me, it means that when I come to him in prayer, praise and worship I bring Him the emotions that are in the depths of my being. There is no part of me that is an unacceptable offering when I bring it to His altar. I bring Him not only my joys, but also my tears, my anxieties, even my depression. My whole heart, nothing held back.

I love psalms. I love the way the full expression of all human emotions are expressed in prayer and song.

For so long I have battled against the lie of not being good enough. Especially when I find myself yet again in this valley of darkness. I don’t know how long I must walk through this, but I’m not afraid because I know I don’t walk through it alone.

More important, this darkness is not going to hold me back. Having depression is not going to stop me from going deeper into scripture, deeper into prayer and deeper into worship.

Having depression doesn’t disqualify me from the gifts and abilities He’s granted me. It doesn’t prevent me from bringing His blessing to others. It doesn’t disqualify me from my dreams and hopes.

Brave Girl

2016-04-29T20:55:00.000+12:00

I have written several draft posts over the last few weeks, but for each one, when I've read over it I've felt "I'm not ready to share this yet. It's still too real and too raw."

I want to be authentic, real and honest with you. I want to be able to share what's really going on in my life below the everyday stuff, to go deeper than the small-talk kind of posts. But I'm also very aware this is a public forum.

So it has taken a few weeks to process enough to blog about this event from the beginning of the month.

I was an attendee at the first ever "Brave Girl" conference, hosted by the inspiring Steph and the team at bravegirl.co.nz.