Adventures From Beyond The Crib

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noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 23 Mar 2013 21:15:00 +0000

Spring has sprung and my new website is in full bloom.

When I came up with the idea for Beyond The Crib five years ago, I was looking for an outlet for my writing talents. I was a mom with a few little ones and I enjoyed participating in online conversations about parenting. Over the years, I cultivated a national network of moms and families with whom I still remain very close. At various times, Beyond The Crib has been a blog, a product review site, and a local parenting forum, but somehow these never felt complete to me.

I am now the mother to eight children, ranging in age from 17 to one year. If my two teenage daughters have taught me anything, it is that the journey beyond the crib doesn't end when they are out of diapers. They need us every day, and the challenges they face are far different and come at them faster than they did for me. As moms we might worry that we are not guiding them correctly, but one thing I have come to realize is that no one judges us as hard as we judge ourselves. June Cleaver may have been the perfect mom in the perfect little family in her perfect little house. In reality, life is not perfect, and there are dishes in my sink that I need to tend to.

I became serious about blogging when Linus was diagnosed with Plagiocephaly and needed to wear a cranial molding orthosis for a few months. This is when "Adventures From Beyond The Crib" was started. I used this format to chronicle the time Linus spent wearing his helmet while taking whimsical pictures of him in different situations.

After Linus graduated from his helmet, I continued blogging about parenting, my kids, and life with a large family. It is now time for Beyond The Crib to evolve into something larger.

The new site is intended to be a community resource for parents bringing together my experiences with those of my peers. I hope you will find it useful and become an active participant.

Please come follow my new website: http://www.beyondthecrib.com/

Thank you.

Celebrations and Holidays

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 20 Mar 2013 13:52:00 +0000

Two nights ago a blog post by Rage Against the Minivan popped up in my Facebook news feed. The author, Kristen, implored, "Let's bring the holidays down a notch." As the night grew on, more and more of my friends were sharing this post, usually preceded with "let's stop celebrating everything" or "Amen." As for myself, I tend to go all out when it comes to celebrations.

I love holidays, parties, and just about any celebration. I am hooked on Pinterest. Plus, I am guilty of taking hundreds of food pictures which I then upload to Instagram and post to Facebook and Pinterest! I send goodie bags to school sometimes too, but I swear I didn't invent those darn colorful cellophane bags filled with candy, and stickers and other assorted knick knacks.

There are a few things I refuse to do. I will never have an Elf on the Shelf. I have been using the threat of invisible elves since my oldest was little - and it works. I don't need to worry about crafting the escapades of a little plastic elf every night. Some people even create funny, more adult situations and post the pictures on Facebook. Sometimes, I think the elf is more for the parents then the kids.

My kids ~~roped~~ guilted me into celebrating St. Nicholas Day when they went to preschool with the nuns. They were told to leave their shoes out and they would receive coins and chocolates (which they interpreted as chocolate coins) in their shoes. Do you know how hard it is to find chocolate coins in the middle of the night? It would have helped if the kids had given me fair warning and not just put their shoes out before bed expecting St. Nicholas to come. I spent a small fortune on those little mesh bags filled with chocolate coins. When they came asking me for hay, I knew I was in trouble, but there I was sending my husband out to Walmart in the middle of a snow storm because the three kings were coming that night. I was young and foolish then. Guess whose kids do not celebrate either of these holiday anymore?

This year was the first year I didn't spend hours gluing masks and capes on lollypops or melting crayons into little mottled hearts. My kids wanted Fun Dip - little pouches of green and red sugar that dyed their classmates mouths rainbow colors for hours. Josie had cute handmade Valentines, with a lollypop, of course. A plethora of goodie bags as well as a cool clear cylindrical tube filled with gumballs all made their way to my house. I like handmade Valentines the best. Who doesn't love a construction paper heart glued to a doily? I was told by my kids that every Valentine needs to have a piece of candy attached. I teased them and told them I was going to buy pretzels instead. Yes, I have been THAT house on Halloween.

I celebrate Pi day with my nerd husband and math loving kids. They love math. I enjoy pie. It works for all of us. Who doesn't need an excuse to eat pie? Last year, we celebrated Platypus day, complete with Platypus cakes. Opening ceremonies for the Olympics were celebrated with finger foods and Olympic torches. It is an excuse to have fun and make memories. Someday, my kids will think back and remember the afternoon I sent them out to play while I iced Twinkies with green frosting and added cookie tails and candy eyes. I will always remember the excitement gleaming in their eyes.

St. Patrick's Day is about wearing green (if we have something green AND if it's clean.) My son takes this to extremes. He has this one pair of green pants that must be magical, because they have fit him for years, which he pairs with a green shirt and a green baseball cap. One year I found him stringing green beads on a cord so he could have a green necklace too. The Shamrock cupcakes I had hoped on baking last weekend never happened. Maybe, next year. No Leprechaun has ever set foot in our house and the kids have never looked for him. Two days later, on St. Joseph's Day, we eat pastries. I am an Italian girl.

The Easter Bunny visits and leaves a basket of chocolate goodness (which I do enjoy sampling). Sometimes he throws in a stuffed animal or bubbles, or chalk. Eight colorful Easter baskets look great lined up on the mantle. I found a few ideas on Pinterest that I hope on trying this year. I like cutting out shapes and creating fun banners to hang on the fireplace. I used to have an Easter tree, until all my ornaments met an untimely death. We have a lot of fun using food dye, rubber bands, crayons, and six to eight dozen hard boiled eggs. If we are dying that many eggs, we need to make it fun. I think I may need to research a few new ways to serve hard boiled eggs this year.

I understand where Kristen's exasperation is coming from. I was overwhelmed all those years ago as I dug through the snow to find some grass underneath to leave for the three kings and their camels. Kristen's essay spread like wildfire - people either agreed wholeheartedly or were offended. I simply saw this post as a mom's plea for support, not a demand to stop celebrating.

Lean In

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 15:05:00 +0000

After a morning of packing snacks, brushing hair, and locating lost folders, the kids were finally on the bus. The door had barely closed when my phone started ringing. "Were you watching the news this morning? You need to go out and buy Lean In, for yourself and for your daughters."

I had caught bits and pieces of the interview with Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg in between conversations with my little ones. Every morning, once the house is quiet, as quiet as it can get with a one year old, I will start catching up on the news and current events of the day.

Without having the chance to read Sandberg's book, Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead, I quickly perused my "go-to" news sites. “A truly equal world would be one where women ran half our countries and men ran half our homes,” writes Sandberg. She says that women are being overlooked for positions due to poor negotiating shills and a lack of confidence. She feels women are responsible for why men dominate at the highest levels of corporate and political leadership. Sandberg believes one of the main reasons women don't "lean in" is because of children and family, even if the woman does not have children yet. This causes them to look for flexible positions which will provide reduced responsibilities in preparation for the future.

I have been reading many responses to Sandberg. Bloggers, especially some mom bloggers, seem to have taken offense. By leaning in to their careers, is Sandberg telling women to lean away from family? In some respects, yes, she is. If you look back at my life and choices there should not be any question as to which direction I am leaning. Certain people, who shall remain nameless, have gone out of their way to tell me that I am not successful because I do not work outside of the home. They have gone as far as to tell me that I am wasting my college degree and that I am not worthy of having nice things because I am not going to an office. I am wondering if that was the reason for my early morning phone call? Did they miss the big picture?

Sandberg's intention is to encourage people to lean in to overcome obstacles to achieve a goal. When I received Josie's diagnoses I leaned in to my computer screen to do as much research as I could so that I could be her best advocate. Bedrest, pre-term labor, and parenting a micro-preemie caused me to lean in to the uncertainty and fear that came with not knowing what the next day would bring. I lean in as far as I can reach as I stand my ground when dealing with editors. I have learned that the more I lean in, the more others start leaning in with me.

How do you lean in?

Open House 2013

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 14:48:00 +0000

Open House is my favorite day of the school year. I love to visit all the classrooms, read the essays hung up around the rooms, and read the letters my little ones have stuck in their desks for me.

My favorite this year was Alice's description of her favorite place in our community.

She loves gymnastics as much as her big sister.

The kids wrote descriptions of themselves on the front of these fish. We needed to guess who was who and then fish to find out.

It wasn't too hard. Alice is the only one with five sisters, two brothers, who loves gymnastics in her class!

The first graders were learning about volcanoes.

They worked hard to create their volcanoes out of papier mache. How exciting to watch it erupt!

We are big Eric Carle fans at our house. I hope to be able to bring the kids to the Eric Carle Museum this summer. I love the lesson Lucie learned - sometimes you have to search for good friends, but it's worth it when you find them." I know that Lucie has found some very good friends at school. I hope all my children learn this valuable lesson.

Evan's favorite subject is art and he talks about becoming an art teacher like Mr. Lumia.

I am already looking forward to next year's Open House!

Honorable Mention

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 14 Mar 2013 16:57:00 +0000

Do you think children should receive an trophy just for showing up? I cannot tell you how many medals, trophies, and ribbons adorn my home, but how many of those awards were deserved? Is it really worth celebrating 10th place or giving an Honorable Mention to everyone who shows up?

Two weeks ago, Evan attended the district-wide science fair. He had an amazing project about Roller Coasters. He worked for weeks with Pierre discussing the physics behind roller coasters. Together, they built a roller coaster model to run marbles through while Evan learned how to calculate different mathematical formulas.

At the award ceremony, his name was called for "Honorable Mention." I could see the excitement in his face as he went up to get his gold ribbon. After he sat down, I could see his mind starting to figure things out. There were countless 3rd Place, 2nd Place, and 1st Place projects. By the time the award ceremony was over, everyone was either holding a gold Honorable Mention" or a medal with a slip of paper allowing them to go on to the Dutchess County Science Fair. The smile was no longer there. He was not proud of himself anymore.

As we left the ceremony, he looked at me and demanded an honest answer to his question. "Did everyone get an award?"

With my answer, his gold ribbon turned into a consolation prize. It didn't mean anything to him. Just looking at his ribbon made him feel like it should have said, "Sorry, better luck next time" instead of "Honorable Mention."

I understand that they want to get the kids excited about being in the science fair, but what happened to having one winner in each grouping - 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place? Why does each kid need to walk out of the science fair with a ribbon?

Maybe most kids don't look too much into it. They proudly display their ribbon and feel a sense of pride.

I explained to Evan that the ribbon was to honor his hard work. He deserved recognition of a job well done. None of that worked. In his mind, all the ribbon represented was that he showed up that day, and he was right.

After looking at the judges' comments, I saw that he became a little nervous under pressure. He stumbled a bit on his words and forgot the formulas. He's ten. It happens.

Not every kid needs an trophy to say they played soccer, showed up for a dance competition, or ran a race. Not everyone who goes to the Olympics receives a medal. Doesn't that 1st Place award mean more when only one person wins?

My son is an amazing young man and he doesn't need a ribbon to prove it.

Facebook Giveaway!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 11 Mar 2013 19:01:00 +0000

Did you know that Beyond the Crib is on Facebook? Beyond the Crib is slowly evolving and branching out to also become a community resource for parents, bringing together my experiences with those of my peers. I hope you will find it useful and become and active participant.

Now, not only can you find me here and on Facebook, but look for me on Twitter and Pinterest too! I can't wait to share more of my thoughts and ideas with you.

Come LIKE Beyond The Crib's Facebook page and join in the conversation. Once I receive 100 likes, everyone who has liked the page is automatically entered in to win a $10 gift card to Target. If you refer a friend, please let me know. Each referral earns you one extra chance to win. I have many more exciting giveaways lined up in the coming months.

Stay tuned for more exciting news from Beyond the Crib!

Parents of Preemies Day 2013

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 10 Mar 2013 19:17:00 +0000

Everyone knows about Linus, my micropreemie, and the inspiration for this blog, but Linus was not my first experience with the NICU. Evan was born in June 2002 at 34 weeks and 5 days at a hospital not equipped with a NICU. After 2 days in labor at 8 centimeters dilated, all it took was 10 minutes of Pitocin to jump start my labor. My obstetrician, who thought he could run to grab a bite to eat was called before he even made it to the parking lot.

I knew there was an issue as the ob was closely watching the rise and fall of my baby's chest as he was being measured in the baby warmer. I heard something about grunting and calling a pediatrician. Soon, my little guy was whisked down the hall to wait for a consult with the pediatrician on call. I wanted to get on down to where the baby was. After a quick shower and a very large ice pack, I waddled myself down the hallway to a little room off of the nursery where my baby was surrounded by nurses and a pediatrician I did not know. She told my husband and I that our baby was having difficulty breathing and that they had tried, unsuccessfully to give him an IV. They had even tried inserting it in his little head. I just wanted to pick him up and snuggle. Instead, I sat next to his bed waiting for transport to come take my baby to another hospital.

The pediatrician wanted to know the baby's name. We hadn't decided yet. I knew his middle name would be Dean. We were waiting to name him until we saw him. He was either going to be Nathaniel or Evan. The pediatrician put in her vote for Nathaniel. We also shared the name our children had voted on: John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt! The transport nurse had a good chuckle. Soon it was time to watch my baby being transported out of the hospital while I waddled back to my room.

I kept asking when I would be allowed to leave. I was not staying at this hospital if my baby was across town at another. My ob told me that the minimum was 6 hours, BUT my swelling needed to subside considerably before he would discharge me.

I love those gloves filled with water and frozen after I give birth. They make the perfect ice packs. I iced and rested and tried to pretend that my baby was just down the hall and not miles away. Soon, my 6 hours were up and I was allowed to leave, but not until I filled out the birth certificate papers and named our son. We finally decided on Evan, which means young warrior.

It was now after 10pm and we were in our car, on our way to see our boy. We arrived at the NICU and scrubbed in. Our lovely transport nurse was there taking care of him. I was able to nurse Evan and help give him his first bath. There was a room that we could stay in, reserved for situations like this. I didn't leave the NICU for 3 days. Evan had a few ups and downs and he was discharged with an apnea monitor after 10 days.

We are very blessed.

Happy Parents of Preemies Day 2013.

Neighbors

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 09 Mar 2013 13:36:00 +0000

Earlier this week Evan took Mattie, our very exuberant Labrador Retriever, out for a walk. He set off before school, filled with responsibility and pride, with the leash and a bag for waste. As he walked down our road, he saw another man walking his dog. Mattie must have become very excited. She pulled and ran, thinking she had found a new friend. Evan held tight to the leash as they approached our neighbor and his dog, probably with a big smile on his face. With just a few words, that smile was wiped clear away. Our neighbor looked at my 10 year old son and said, "Keep your filthy dog away from me." Evan came home with his head hung low. He no longer had a spring in his step. How dare this man talk that way to my boy? I can't understand why people treat their neighbors this way.

When we were planning on buying a house, I couldn't wait to become a part of a neighborhood. I had candy coated dreams of sipping lemonade on the front lawn with my neighbors as we watched our children play from dawn to dusk. We would drop cookies and casseroles off at each others doorsteps to celebrate babies and to bring comfort during hard times. There would always be someone to help out a few steps away. There would be block parties and community Easter egg hunts. We would never be alone because we were surrounded by friends.

I guess I didn't do enough research, because that does not exist, at least not in my neighborhood. Where are Lorelai and Rory Gilmore? I want to live in Stars Hollow. Everyone is in each others business, sometimes a little too much, but always in a good way.

I have birthed babies, buried babies, gone through good times and bad without much acknowledgement from my neighbors. Every time someone new moves in, I try my hardest. I bring over cookies and try to strike up conversation. I have made a few friends, but there doesn't seem to be a sense of neighborhood. Maybe I live on the wrong side of our horseshoe shaped lane. There are more families with small children around the horseshoe. I guess the grass always looks greener on the other side.

Don't get me wrong, there are some great families in my neighborhood. There are the neighbors from up the block who brought over a huge tray of Penne ala Vodka when Linus was in the NICU and the neighbors further up who are very generous with their hand-me-downs. There is the boy up the block who is one of Katie's best friends and a bunch of little girls on the other side of the horseshoe who are playmates of Alice and Lucie.

I am still looking for Stars Hollow. If you find it, let me know.

Babysitting

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 07 Mar 2013 17:57:00 +0000

Is there a specific age or grade level that can accurately rate the adeptness of a babysitter?

When my older girls were little, I hired our seventh grade neighbor to babysit for us when we went out. Seventh grade equals 12 or 13 years old. I had no problem trusting her with the care and well-being of my four and two year old daughters. I, myself, started babysitting in seventh grade. I started out as a mother's helper. The mom worked from home in a basement office, while I was upstairs with her 2 (and eventually 3) children. Eventually, I graduated to watching them at night when she would go out to dinner with her husband.

Seventh grade seemed just right to me, but then I started to get to know tweens and teenagers, my own included. Age does not equal maturity or responsibility. I have one daughter, who until fairly recently, would only be allowed to babysit if I was sure my other daughter was home too. Those who know us may be surprised to find out which was the one I was uneasy about. I won't divulge that secret, now that I have two very competent babysitters, both together and on their own.

Recently, a 39 year old mom from New Cannan, Connecticut was arrested for leaving her four children, ages 13, 10, 4, and 1.5, home unattended. To me, that seems very well attended. Most 13 year old girls and boys are more than competent to be left home to babysit for their siblings or neighborhood children. Unfortunately, that was not the case with this girl. The four year old was able to get out of the house and cross the street to a neighbor's yard. The neighbor called the police who found the children "home alone." Upon returning home, the mother was charged with "risk of injury to a minor."

Who is at fault in this situation? The mother? The teenager? The neighbor? Obviously, the teen was not paying enough attention to her siblings if she did not notice one slip out the door. Then again, this four year old might be a little escape artist. Maybe, the mom should look into installing a few locks out of the preschooler's reach. The neighbor could have taken the child back home and spoken with the teen and her mother when she returned instead of calling the police.

This story could have ended badly. The child could have gotten hurt, or worse.

A few months ago, there was an episode of "Good Luck, Charlie" where the toddler, Charlie, under the supervision of her older brothers, walks out of the house and visits the neighbor. The neighbor immediately called the child's father and then played games with the little girl until he arrived to bring her back home. In the end it was all a big joke, everyone laughs, cue the happy music, "Good Luck Charlie!"

Times have definitely changed since I was 13, and children wandering out alone and in the street can lead to many dangerous situations. Do you think that this mother should be charged with neglect for leaving her 13 year old daughter home to watch her siblings? At what age do you think someone becomes qualified to babysit?

Postpartum

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 01 Mar 2013 22:00:00 +0000

The postpartum period is an interesting roller coaster ride. You can be happy one minute and a raving lunatic the next. I will swear up and down that I am very good when I am pregnant, but I don't know if I can say the same thing about the postpartum period. I have vague memories of telling my husband to pack a suitcase, as well as a slight recollection of throwing plates. I hope you won't hold any of that against me. Please tell me that you also became hormonal messes who did things totally out of character when you were postpartum.

The postpartum period on top of grieving is another thing. Your hormones are going crazy causing hot flashes and sweating one moment and chills the next. Your milk comes in and there isn't a baby waiting to be fed. It's bad enough that you cry at the drop of a hat, but you can't stop crying because you are dealing with the reality of your new title - bereaved parent.

I have a confession to make.. To this day, I do not watch anything on USA Network, which, unfortunately, happens to be my husband's favorite. We used to watch Burn Notice, Psych, and Royal Pains every week - every week when I was pregnant with Bennett. For some reason, I associate USA Network and those shows with losing Bennett. Back in 2010, the new seasons were going to be premiering in June when Bennett was due. I figured Pierre and I would be curled up on the couch, baby on my chest, watching these shows while I nursed. Royal Pains was about two brothers - one named Evan. Every time we watched that show I imagined my two boys, as adults, working together, and being best friends. When I lost Bennett, I couldn't watch that show again. At first, I would get vehemently angry with my husband when he watched these shows. How could he watch a show about two brothers when Evan's brother was dead? One of the other shows on USA featured an actress (who shall not be named, since I've never been fond of her) who was pregnant at the same time as me and had her baby right around my due date. Every time I looked at her, I would lose it. Wouldn't you know that this was my husband's new favorite show. I couldn't watch anything that had the little USA logo on the right hand corner of the screen. Just seeing it brought me right back to losing my son. I still don't enjoy any of those shows, but they don't bring about the same reaction anymore.

Yes, looking back at it now I know I sounded a little bit crazy. I take that back, I was a lot crazy and totally irrational. I am very lucky to have a very understanding husband, who deserves to watch whatever he wants on TV tonight.

24 Weeks, 5 Days

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 27 Feb 2013 16:18:00 +0000

Linus was anxious to get here. He must have known how my empty arms ached since his brothers left me a year before.

Feisty! The neonatal doctor attending the birth called him feisty. There was hope.

He was so delicate and fragile at only 1 pound, 8 ounces. His skin was so thin, it was almost translucent. I wasn't allowed to pick him up and hold him. Instead, I was instructed how to place my hands on his small body using a firm touch. I often wondered if he was crying, but was too weak to make a sound.

Strong! The nurses said he was strong. They placed him in his little nest, but he was always struggling to get out. They used beanbags to hold him in place. Still, he managed to scoot and move around.

Every day I asked if it was the day I could hold Linus. Finally, the day came and the sweet nurses helped untangle all of the wires and tubes. I think he was in my arms for less than 30 seconds before he needed to be put back in his incubator. He was already over one month old, and it was the first time I was able to kiss the top of his tiny head.

Linus pulled the vent out twice. Second time was a charm, because he graduated to the CPAP. The nurses and PA were sweet enough take video and then send it to my phone, so I could finally see my sweet boy's face without anything in the way.

My little escape artist was always on the move. One day the nurses found him with his head up against the portholes. They took his picture and framed it for me.

Linus did great with his bottle, and I made sure I was there to feed him at least once a day. There was never a day that I was not at the NICU - even the day Katie had strep and I was told to stay home. I drove to the hospital so I could get his laundry and look at him from afar.

I looked forward to the day when the doctor would schedule "the meeting." When the day came, I could barely contain myself. We were so close to bringing Linus home.

After passing his car seat test, we were ready to go. I took in all the noises and smells, but I knew I would never forget. I could hear those beeps and alarms in my sleep by this point. The smell of hospital soap brings me right back to sitting next to Linus' bed with my hand stretched through the porthole, resting firmly on his back.

On March 10, our family will join with Graham's Foundation and nearly 13 million other families who have traveled a similar journey to celebrate the Second Annual Parents of Preemies Day. This day honors the courageous parents and caregivers of these tiny little ones. Please visit their Facebook page for more information about events in your area and on the web.

Top 5 Oscar Moments of 2013

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 25 Feb 2013 18:01:00 +0000

Top 5 Oscar Moments of 2013 (according to me)

1. Seeing how excited the kids were to watch the pre-show/awards ceremony. Never did I think that watching the Oscars would trump Jessie or Austin and Ally!

2. Calculating the difference in height between Kristen Chenoweth and Adele with my 11 year old.

3. Receiving my Oscar night gift bag filled with Albuterol, diapers, and forgotten homework assignments.

4. Dragging sleeping children off to bed so then I actually had space on the couch to sit, not that I had the opportunity to watch the show for any extended period of time.

And the highlight of my night:

5. Actually getting to sit and watch the tribute to the Oscar winning musicals from this decade (Chicago, Dreamgirls, and Les Miserables), thanks to the sleeping children.

Coming off of Hiatus

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 23 Feb 2013 17:33:00 +0000

Time to dust the cobwebs off the blog. My hiatus is over. I haven't been spending my free time sitting eating bonbons while getting a mani/pedi. I have been very hard at work on my new website, which should be up and running soon (with a little nagging on my part - the husband is the computer geek in this relationship.)

If you haven't been over to Beyond the Crib over on Facebook, come join the conversation. When I receive 100 likes, I will randomly select one of my Facebook followers to receive a $10 Target gift card.

Great to see everyone again! I can't wait to introduce you to my new "baby," Beyond the Crib!

Imagine

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 28 Dec 2012 00:53:00 +0000

Katie's Winter Concert

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people living life in peace

You, you may say
I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people sharing all the world

You, you may say
I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And the world will live as one

-John Lennon

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Liebster Blog Award

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 20 Oct 2012 00:11:00 +0000

I was nominated for a Liebster Blog Award.

What is a Liebster Blog Award?
The Liebster Blog Award is given by bloggers to up and coming bloggers who have less than 200 followers.

Liebster: (der) n. sweetheart, beloved person, darling

Here are the rules for receiving this award:
1. The nominee must post 11 things about themselves.
2. Answer the questions sent to you by the person who nominated you.
3. Choose up to 11 bloggers that have less than 200 followers.
4. Go to your nominees page and inform them of their award.
5. You cannot tag back.

Thank you to Tina from Tina's Tid-Bits for the nomination.

11 random things about me:
1. I always wanted to live in a home filled with kids and animals.
2. Someday, I hope to become a foster parent.
3. My favorite color is pink.
4. I don't like driving at night or in the rain/snow.
5. I love red hair.
6. I am an only child.
7. I was in a serious car accident when I was 19 and my injury was centimeters away from me being paralyzed from the waist down.
8. I love coffee ice cream...
9. wet walnuts too
10. I am still friends with women who were in my preschool class.
11. I ~~tend to be~~ am a hypochondriac

Tina's questions for me:

1. Name something you can't go a day without doing. Drinking tea - it's an addiction!
2. If you were given the keys to a time machine, where would you go and why? I would simply like to go back and relive my first date with my husband.
3. Do you prefer blue or black ink? Black
4. What's the last thing you regretted buying? The pumpkin I bought last Saturday that was rotten by Wednesday!
5. Who is your favorite cartoon character? Currently, it is Phineas (from Phineas and Ferb)
6. Would you break the law to save a loved one? I am SO not a rule breaker and I hate getting into trouble, but if it was to save a loved ones life and it only meant I would receive a fine--no hancuffs, fingerprinting and jail time, then I probably would. On second thought...if one of my babies were in danger I would do anything to save them.
7. What's #1 on your Bucket List? Go to the Olympics/Opening Ceremonies
8. Name the first song that comes to mind. One More Night - Maroon 5
9. If you could trade lives with anyone, who would it be? Nobody comes to mind, but if I could experience someone else's life (just for a day), I would like to see what it feels like to be a size 4 and go shopping all day long!
10. What's your favorite game show? LINGO
11. Do you own more books than movies? Yes

Now, it is time for me to nominate some deserving bloggers.

1. My Hands And Heart Are Full
2. Patch of Blue
3. I Used to Have a Real Name Until I Became Mommy

Nominees, here are your questions:

1. Drink of choice? Coffee or Tea?
2. What is your favorite book?
3. How did you meet your significant other?
4. What was your high school mascot?
5. Favorite vacation spot?
6. Do you have any pets?
7. What is the last item you bought for yourself?
8. What are the first three names that pop into your head?
9. Do you have a memory from childhood that stands out?
10. Did you enjoy high school?
11. What is your dream job?

Congratulations, nominees, and thanks again to Tina!

An update about Hudson Valley Parent and my final vent (I promise)

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 10 Oct 2012 16:39:00 +0000

I am not as angry anymore. After a day of venting, writing, and trying to relax, I feel like I am in a better place. The editor of Hudson Valley Parent apologized to me yesterday, explaining that this is the first time she has edited the magazine. I emailed her back and asked her to remove my name and Linus' name from the article about orthoses since I do not want to be associated with it.

I understand that she is new to editing and this is probably the first time she has been handed this much responsibility. I feel that a good editor would ask for a rewrite, a bad editor just will rewrite the article. I understand that there are deadlines, but you cannot write a first person account about someone else's life experiences, especially when the information was largely a fictional account.

She also took a quote I had gotten from a third party, and she rewrote it. A journalist/editor does not rewrite quotes. It is unethical. What she did is totally unacceptable to me. My credibility could have been damaged by her acts.

The article I pitched was about orthotics and prosthetics for children. This is my exact assignment (given to me by the former editor of Hudson Valley Parent):

Orthotics and Prosthetics for Children: What are the most common appliances? How do they work? Where do you get them? How much can they cost? Does insurance cover them? Speak to someone who works with children about how the child handles it? Are they upgraded and resized as the child grows? Whatever else you feel is appropriate.

Real family experiences WITH PHOTOS.

Sidebar story: what a parent should know if their child needs a cranial helmet

The article I wrote was exactly what I was assigned. I interviewed parents and an orthotist who works with children to get his point of view. The only mention of helmets was supposed to be in the sidebar.

The publisher/editor did ask me to rework my article a bit and make it a little more personal, which I did last month. I explained to them that I do not have a child who wears an orthosis or a prosthesis, but I could add some of my experiences with Linus along with the experiences of other parents.

I would have preferred that if she wasn't happy with my style she should have written her own article, leaving me entirely out of it.

I asked the editor for a correction/retraction printed in next month's magazine. I am still waiting for her to remove my name and Linus' from the online article, which she hasn't done yet.

I did write a second article for the Baby Issue of Hudson Valley Parent which should be out soon, if it is not out already. It is available online and I am happy to report that this article is exactly as I wrote it.

Don't believe everything you read in Hudson Valley Parent Magazine!

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 09 Oct 2012 01:48:00 +0000

I am ticked off. Let me say that again....

I am ticked off!

My "article" came out in Hudson Valley Parent this month, and the beginning of the article where it outlined Linus' time in a helmet was not anything I had written or would have wrote. Not only did the editor put words in my mouth, but the things she wrote were entirely untrue.

First of all, I never panicked or stressed out about Linus' head shape, nor did I call any nurses to voice my concerns. I had noticed his flat head before he was discharged from the NICU, and it was something I was monitoring along with my pediatrician and the various therapists who visited my home for my older daughter, Josie. Linus was also born with a piece of his skull missing, so after head ultrasounds and consultations with neurologists, something as minor as a flat spot on the back of his head was not going to be an absolute tragedy. I knew that if the skull hadn't miraculously grown in, Linus would have been facing wearing a helmet for years as well as having to undergo surgery. Honestly, I was thrilled all he had was Plagiocephaly!

Linus was a preemie who spent 3 months in the NICU, obviously I didn't think, nor did any medical professional tell me that his head shape was going to correct itself in six to eight weeks. That only holds true for a full term baby born under normal circumstances. Obviously, the editor did not do her homework on this subject.

My son was born at 24 weeks weighing 1 pound, 9 ounces, he was on a ventilator for over a month, and supplemental oxygen for almost three months. He was fed high calorie formula via a nasogastric tube. There were tubes and wires attached to every part of his body. I didn't get to hold him until he was over a month old. Linus was born after losing two babies to prematurity and stillbirth. Do you really think that I was going to be panicking over Plagiocephaly or putting him in a helmet?

I never had any "difficulty" putting the helmet on Linus. I knew that it wouldn't hurt him. I did my research and spoke to various parents and professionals and learned all about how a cranial molding orthosis worked. My husband and I made a very informed decision to have our son wear a helmet to correct his Plagiocephaly.

Never once did I worry that people were going to stare at my son. I am not that petty or self-conscious about those sort of things. No one ever stared at my son, pointed, or made comments. I picked his blue camouflage helmet because I had wanted a helmet in the blue family and my older son loves camouflage. I have always been proud of Linus and his helmet, in fact I couldn't wait to take him out and show him off . I even created a blog to celebrate this time in Linus' life and raise awareness about Plagiocephaly.

Originally, this article was assigned as an article about orthoses and the children who wear them. It was not written to be a story about Plagiocpehaly or helmets. If the editor had really read my blog, she would have known that I never felt the way she portrayed me.

My apologies to the people I had interviewed. One of the quotes I included had words added to it.

Really.

I didn't know that editors had the ability to change quotes to make them sound the way they want them to.

I would never refer orthoses as a "stigma." I have far too much respect for the individuals who wear orthoses to ever refer to them as a "stigma."

I have contacted the editorial staff at Hudson Valley Parent magazine and I have requested that they print a retraction, both online and in print disassociating me from this article.

trying to write

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 16 Sep 2012 17:59:00 +0000

As I sit down to type, a little voice calls to me, "drink...peeeeeaaassse." I get up and pour a glass of milk. I sit back down again and another little tap on my shoulder "can I have milk too?" I am off to the kitchen to pour more milk. I sit down one more time and the child who was playing quietly in her room, comes walking to me with a full gallon of milk in one hand and a cup in the other. I find myself back in the kitchen and as I look around, all I hear is silence. No sooner do I sit back down at the laptop..."POP"...the vinyl Spiderman blowup my son bought yesterday is handed to me, limp and defeated. My son is at my side saying, "Can we tape it...NOW?" Now, I need to find the duct tape. On my way to the cabinet, I find my favorite three year old standing in a puddle of milk in the middle of my living room. I clean up the mess, totally forgetting about Spiderman, and I sit back at the computer. I hear, "Did you find the tape yet?"

Can you see how successful I have been so far today?

Free haircuts

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 02:45:00 +0000

In August, JC Penney offered free haircuts to all children in grades Kindergarten through 6th grade. I took advantage of this, being that I have four kids who meet this criteria, and scheduled my appointments. I had never visited the salon at JC Penney with my children and I was pleasantly surprised with how good they were with my kids and the other cuties getting their back to school haircuts as well. The stylist was even nice enough to trim Josie's bangs for me at no charge.

Today, I found out JC Penney is making their free haircuts for kids program permanent every Sunday starting November 4, 2012. The only requirement is that you make an appointment in advance.

Thank you, JC Penney, for helping me to stretch my budget a little further.

Bumbo Recall

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Aug 2012 00:12:00 +0000

Earlier this month Bumbo issued a voluntary recall of the Bumbo Baby Seat to add a restraint belt and new warning labels. If you hadn't heard about this recall, stop using your Bumbo and go to http://recall.bumbousa.com/ to order a repair kit.

I loved our Bumbo seat. Lucie, Josie, and Linus used it. Linus was the only one to figure out how to wiggle his little behind up and try to flip himself out of the seat. He only used it for a short time due to his strength, adventurous nature, and the fact that he doesn't like to sit still for two minutes. A restraint belt would have been a small deterrent, but I think he still would have found a way out. Needless to say, the Bumbo has been sitting collecting dust for a few months now, and was on my short list to go back up into the attic.

On the Bumbo site, it states that you shouldn't return the seat to the manufacturer or retail store, but I found out that Walmart's corporate policy is to issue a full refund on any recalled items. Since I know I won't be needing the Bumbo seat ever again (at least, until the grandchildren start coming for visits), I decided to bring it over to Walmart today.

Walmart was quick to refund me the full amount on a Walmart gift card, no questions asked.

Before the recall, I had considered putting the Bumbo on Craigslist for $15. I am glad I forgot all about that, because an extra $42 was welcome this week.

Aunt B's

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 25 Aug 2012 15:00:00 +0000

Last week, we visited Aunt B's Yogurt Bar in Somers, NY. Aunt B's is a self serve yogurt and waffle bar which offers a large variety of yogurt flavors and toppings.

Some of the flavors available were Angel Food Cake, Cake Batter, and Raspberry; as well as Chocolate and Vanilla.

We had to limit the kids to two toppings each, because there were so many to choose from. You could top your creation with fresh fruit, gummy worms, Fruity Pebbles, nuts, and a wide assortment of chocolate treats.

I stuck with Cake Batter topped with crumbled Butterfingers.

Rainbow colored sprinkles and fresh strawberries for Josie.

Linus enjoyed sampling a little bit from everybody.

There were iPad stations set up at the window counter. So you could surf or play games while you eat.

The prices were reasonable and the frozen yogurt was the best I have had in a very long time. I used to love my White Chocolate Mousse from TCBY.

The kids are begging to go back. Hope to make it back there the next time we are in Somers.

Supplies

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 23 Aug 2012 14:09:00 +0000

I am becoming frustrated with the school district. How is it acceptable to not know what the supply list is for my incoming 6th grader? The school year starts in less than 2 weeks. If you are not going to tell us what team the kids are on, then require the teachers to write up universal supply lists by grade. It is very nice that the supply lists for teams A through G are up on the school's website, but since we don't know which team we are buying for, what good is it doing?

New students to the school are anxious and excited. Did the district ever consider that the uncertainty of not knowing if they have the right supplies is causing undue stress? I have bought pencils, pens, crayons, paper, and erasers; but I need to know how many binders, which type of notebooks, and if there are certain colors required.

We contacted the school yesterday and they told my husband that they don't even know what team Katie is on. You must think I am stupid, if you think I believe the teachers do not have their class assignments yet. I know the teachers at the high school received their class lists at least two weeks ago. I do not care what Katie's schedule is, when she has lunch, or who is in her class. I just want to know what to buy her before the sales end, or worse, before the stores run out of that obscure item on the list and then Katie receives a zero for a homework grade because she is unprepared.

Katie wanted like a large zipper binder like she used for 5th grade, since that worked for her. Luckily a good portion of the teams have this on their list. If she gets placed on a team where two separate binders are required, I am not going to go out and replace what is already bought. It is my hope that the teachers will accept that.

Now to look for a suggestion box so I can suggest creating uniform supply lists by grade for next year.

A new dress for me and a promo code for you

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 11 Aug 2012 21:42:00 +0000

A few weeks ago I was excitedly awaiting my new dress from eShakti. It arrived recently and I couldn't be happier. In case you don't know, at eShakti you can customize your measurements and style preferences. You do not have to settle for standard sizes that don't fit correctly. Also, if you like the design but want to change the sleeve, neckline, or length; you can customize that too.

I love my new sundress, but, I needed new shoes, and while I was out, I picked up a sweater too. Now, I am all set. All I need are plans (hint hint). Pictures to come soon.

I am pleased to offer you a special promo code JM3ZZNG, especially created for Adventures From Beyond The Crib readers. From now until August 31 use this code to get 10% every time you shop at eShakti. This code can be used in addition to the other offers online. This discount code is not applicable on overstock items. Please feel free to share this offer with anyone you believe would like eShakti for their clothes and accessories as well as the sizing, customization and great customer service.

Go check out www.eShakti.com.

Pacifier Dilemma

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 10 Aug 2012 18:04:00 +0000

Where do pacifiers go? Do they wind up in that black hole that all our socks must live in?

We were faced with a night with no pacifier and an unhappy little boy, so we stopped at Hannaford to grab a new pacifier.

The pacifier of choice is the MAM. He loves that thing. When Linus was admitted to the hospital last November, the nurses gave him a MAM pacifier and he never went back to the Gumdrop one he had been accustomed to.

I walked down the baby aisle, located the MAM pacifiers, and all the 6+ month ones were pink. Now, I was faced with a difficult decision. Do I buy the pink pacifier and have a peaceful night or do I buy the blue NUK pacifier? Either way I would be wasting $6.99, because I knew that I would have to go out and buy a blue MAM in the morning.

Pierre offered to get a Sharpie and color the pink ones blue for me if it made me feel better. I didn't take him up on the offer and bought the blue NUK. As soon as we checked out, I handed it to Linus. He kept taking it out, staring at it and flipping it around in his mouth. He sucked on it sideways and upside down. He is such an easy going baby, that he went along with it, but I could tell he wasn't happy with change.

We made it through the night, and most of the next day with the NUK, but I made a pit stop at Babies R Us last night and bought a 2 pack of the MAMs. Linus is happy. I just need to figure out how to attach a tracking device on those things.

If faced with the same situation, what would you choose? Pink or Blue?

First Birthday

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 25 Jul 2012 18:18:00 +0000