Insanity Bound

I've been lazy...

noreply@blogger.com (Mandy) — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 05:17:00 +0000

all day. I did some laundry. Baked a cake. And...um, yea. That's about it. Oh! I took a shower too, but only because I couldn't stand my own stench anymore.

Allow me to start with a story. The other day Mousey said to me, "Mom! I forgot to tell you! We saw this guy in Walmart yesterday that had his pants halfway down his butt, a pink handkerchief in his pocket, pink cowboy boots on, a chain hanging from his pocket, and a woody!" Eventually, every parent comes to the point where certain things you just don't want an explanation for. That ignorance is bliss type thinking. But I just couldn't resist, so I closed my eyes, braced myself, and said, "What do you mean by woody?" and she said, "You know, from Toy Story." and relief washed over me. Apparently Woody was hanging from the chain, which, had I not clarified, would have left me with a very inappropriate impression.

I'm dreading the next couple of months. Next week Goose starts wrestling, which ends our little break after football. We still have religion, girls have poms, Chip has ballet, Mouse has soccer and she has softball tryouts next weekend, and boys have band. I'm a little bit relieved that Rocket's knee is still sore (awesome mom, I know) because otherwise we'd have indoor baseball as well. In January, I start my grad classes for my certification, and I'll be teaching a grad class through a different college. Because of this, I need to start to figure out how to publish to journals, which I don't wanna do. My PDP is due in January and I'm supposed to be authoring this technology blog through the school district where I work, but I've been slacking. I know. There's always someone busier than me. I shouldn't be complaining. I'm just getting too old for this. Hence, the lazy day.

Tomorrow we are supposed to get our Christmas tree, but it is raining and I just don't think it 's going to work. I'm going to have to post a few pictures from over the summer here and there just to make up for lost time.

How can you not blog today?

noreply@blogger.com (Mandy) — Mon, 02 May 2011 13:52:00 +0000

When I was a teenager and "old" (over 30) people would say, "Girlie, I remember exactly where I was when (insert tragedy here...Kennedy, Space Shuttle) happened" I would think oh, that's nice. I remember where I was when I bought this awesome shirt that I wore today too. I didn't get it. Just like my kids don't get it now. After 9/11, I got it.

I didn't know anyone who died in the World Trade Center attacks. I didn't even know anyone who was in New York at the time. But I can remember clear as day waking up to feed Tyler (who was a month old at the time) and sitting on my bed and turning on the television. The second tower had just been hit. It took a full 5 minutes to catch what exactly was going on and the magnitude of it because it was so unbelievable. And even though I didn't know anyone even remotely near there, I sat and cried my eyes out. I remember Dan coming home and not really knowing what was going on because he works around loud machines and then turned the radio off on the way home. I was sitting at the kitchen table still in my robe watching the TV. I was crying and I could barely get through the stories of mommas jumping out of the buildings with their babies and people being crushed before I started sobbing. It was so horrible. I remember exactly what I was doing that 9/11 morning.

This morning will be another one of those days. I feel horrible and elated all at the same time. It sure doesn't feel very Christian to be so happy someone is dead. When I told my kids this morning (I had to remind them what 9/11 was) and I said that I had "good news" that Bin Laden was dead, it felt so wrong. I told my kids to be happy that someone was shot and killed? It makes me sad that we live in that kind of world, yet I'm elated that he's wiped off this Earth. I hope he's reincarnated as a Daddy Long Legs that a kid catches and pulls the legs off one by one and watches the spider try to walk before stomping on it.

So this morning I spent crying again. Crying for all the souls lost on 9/11. Hoping their families get some sort of comfort from Bin Laden's death. Hoping the fish are chewing on his skin as I type.

What a day.

Back from the dead.

noreply@blogger.com (Mandy) — Thu, 28 Apr 2011 00:43:00 +0000

A very nice lady emailed me about my camera today and at the end of the conversation she said, "Here's my blog!" and I thought well, I have one of those but YIKES! it's been two flippin' months since I updated it!

The thing is that my grad classes totally caught up to me. I was doing so well and then WHAM! (am I narrating a Batman comic now?) I had a million assignments to do. I have 12 credits. I graduate in 17 days. Then I'd like to say that I have a job lined up, but I don't. So instead my plan right now is to kill myself with more school. I mean I love school. Stay in school kids. I can't tell you it'll ever get you a job, but it looks darn good on all of the resumes you send out. Takes up lots of white space.

The kids have also started all of their spring sports and junk. Rocket has baseball. Goose has baseball and wrestling. Mousey is in Hip Hop and soccer, and miss Chip is in ballet (her only interest). I'm missing something. Hmmmm. Hope it wasn't someplace they had to be tonight.

Easter was fun but uneventful. We've been preparing for Mousey's First Communion coming up. She is going to look so fabulous I'm going to have to get my camera warmed up. I have a few good pictures from Easter...

I actually have about 500 pictures, but these are the only photoshopped ones. I try so hard to always take my photos on manual that I end up taking double the amounts because I'm always adjusting the settings. I also bought a new camera bag...are you ready? A Epiphanie bag. I love it and I look awesome when I carry it (which really is the main reason to have a camera bag). I LOVE the blue inside because I can find everything so easily and it's so pretty. I'm in love.

Actions

noreply@blogger.com (Mandy) — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 00:18:00 +0000

Since I've started taking photos a little more seriously, I find that some pictures I get totally obsessed with. I will try every Photoshop CS5 action I can find to get it perfect. Today a friend of mine liked MCPactions.com on Facebook and was able to get a free action called MiniFusion. I have been looking for this action my whole life (lol). I'm now going back and looking at some of my obsessive photos and using it on them and I'm in love. Here's an example:

Now don't get me wrong. Just because I'm obsessed doesn't mean that it doesn't bug the crap out of me that it is bright way in the background, but could my girls look any cuter? LOVE this action. I highly recommend it.

I also recently invested in an external flash for my camera. It is a Canon Speedlite 430EX II. I have no idea how to use it yet, but I can tell you that my camera looks flippin' cool with it on. I haven't really used it yet, I've just been admiring how pretty my camera is now. It looks so tall and ... flashy. Now my next purchase will be to upgrade my body to a 60D. I've decided that it's possible that photography is the most expensive hobby EVER, but what other hobby would allow you to catch moments in time like the one above? Right?

Hostile Takeover

noreply@blogger.com (Mandy) — Mon, 14 Feb 2011 13:20:00 +0000

I feel a little bit like these giveaways and deals have taken over my blog. This place in cyberspace has always been my venting grounds and a place where I could show off my family. I wasn't sure what to do about it since I LOVE doing giveaways and posting deals I find and finally I decided to make another insanity bound page. It is http://insanitybounddealsandsteals.blogspot.com. On the left I have bloggy linked it so if you visit this page you will also see the latest deal and will have an easy access there. It is still very much under construction, but the morning Groupon deal is already posted so check 'er out! Also, if you like IB on FB then you will get both updates! How convenient! :)

Photo Stuff

noreply@blogger.com (Mandy) — Sat, 12 Feb 2011 00:51:00 +0000

I'm sort of an idiot for not thinking of this sooner, but I have added a new page for photo services. I'm not TAKING the pictures, but offering things like gallery wraps and different picture items for cheaper (and MUCH better quality than some places you'll find on the internet. When I do take photos for people, I order them through a professional photo printing company. I have compared the same photo printed by Walmart, Target, Shutterfly, and my place and there is NO comparison in the quality and the colors of the print.

You can send me a photo that you have taken, or a professional photo that you have a release from the photographer. Please take a look at the page called Photo Services to get more information, and email me for quotes or questions. Thanks!

2/11 Groupon Deals

noreply@blogger.com (Mandy) — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 15:43:00 +0000

Wow! Love the Canvas on Demand deal!

$45 for one 16x20" Gallery-wrapped Canvas (reg. $126.95) INCLUDING shipping and handling from Canvas on Demand! This one is awesome!

$25 for $75 from Wine Insider's online store!

$12 for 15 issues of Food & Wine magazine (reg. $24.99)

$15 for $30 worth of candles and gifts from The Candleberry Company.

$10 for $25 from FlexFlop.com

Happy shopping!

2/10 Groupon Deals

noreply@blogger.com (Mandy) — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 15:25:00 +0000

Two national deals caught my eye today. One is the same as the other day, but still great.

$15 for $50 from Mixbook. Upload photos and make a book. The $15 could get you a 20 page book (reg. $49.99), but they also sell cards. Take a look, that's a great deal! Deal is on and only one day left!

$15 for $30 at eUndies.Exactly what it says. Underwear. Pretty ones. It's like getting them half off.

Happy Shopping!

Groupon

noreply@blogger.com (Mandy) — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 12:56:00 +0000

I am now working with Groupon!! I'm so excited!! Just about every morning I will post a new Groupon offer. Check back every day!

Today's deal is $20 for $40 at FTD.com good in the US and Canada from 2/9 until 2/11.
Ummm, can we say Valentine's Day? Click on Email at the bottom of this post and email it to your significant other just for a little "idea".

Awesome Groupon Deal

noreply@blogger.com (Mandy) — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 15:17:00 +0000

Groupon has a deal going right now for Mixbook, which is a photo book making site. It is $15 for $50 worth of an order on Mixbook. They also have announcements, calendars, and then of course the photo books. For this deal you can get a 20 page photobook (reg. $49.99) for $15. Happy Shopping!

Natural Skin Shop Glycolic Peel Review, Giveaway, and Coupon!

noreply@blogger.com (Mandy) — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 16:36:00 +0000

I was lucky enough to be able to review a Glycolic Peel from Natural Skin Shop. I chose the 40% Glycolic Peel because the description said it was good for ages 30-35, which would be me! (Actually, I'm MUCH younger but I just decided to plan for the future. Yea. That's it.) They also have many other kinds of chemical peels available.

When I received my package, I was surprised at the cute little packaging that it came in. It had a handy little bag for everything to be put in. Inside the bag were directions for the peel, a Glycolic 10% Daily Exfoliator, the Glycolic Acid 40% Peel that I ordered, a Hyaluronic Moisturizer, and a box of gauze pads.

I don't know if you've ever done a peel before, but I haven't. I literally did NOT know what I was doing. The instructions were great because they told me what I needed to know. They also included a toll free number to call if I needed help or customer service, and if you have concerns the instructions say, "Our experienced team of skin care professionals and aestheticians are standing by to assist you..." Now I didn't have to call because I didn't have any problems at all, but I did have to email Natural Skin Shop with questions and they got back to me very quickly. From what I experienced, the customer service was great.

First the directions told me to use the Daily Exfoliator (followed by the moisturizer) each day for one week. By the second day I couldn't believe how soft the skin on my face was. I was honestly shocked. Even my husband remarked about it. After a week the instructions were to test with the Glycolic Acid 40% Peel. To say I was nervous was an understatement because I was so afraid of burning my skin, but I tested a little spot on my face first and didn't have any kind of reaction. The directions also give you the recipe for a Neutralizing Solution that you can use if you have a negative reaction to the peel.

Since I seemed to tolerate the patch test, two days later I applied the peel. Again I mixed together the Neutralizing Solution. Put the peel on with the Gauze Pads, waited 45 seconds (cuz I was a first-timer), and then washed it off with water. My skin was just a little red, but it faded within an hour. The results were that my skin looked really good. It was extremely soft and just looked...fresher. I have three big lines across my forehead (from giving the "what do you think you're doing look" to my kids AND students, so they're prominent) and I swear they looked less visible. I am excited to use the peel again to see if it makes them even smaller.

Now for the good news. I have a coupon for 25% off to share with you. It is SheBlogs and must be used before February 21st, 2011.

Now for the better news...I have another kit like the one that I had to giveaway!!! It is an $80 value. In order to enter the drawing you MUST go to www.naturalskinshop.com and find a product that would work for you (any product, not just a peel). Then post in the comments what it is and that you did so.

Extra optional entries (please post a new comment for each entry completed):

Follow me through Google Friend Connect (if you already do, just say so!)
"Like" Natural Skin Shop on Facebook
Follow me on Twitter

Winner will be picked by random.org. Giveaway ends 2/11/2011.Good luck!

I was not paid by Natural Skin Shop for this review. I did receive a sample of their product to try. It did not, however, change my opinion of the product.

Another Zulily Great Sale

noreply@blogger.com (Mandy) — Tue, 01 Feb 2011 14:34:00 +0000

Zulily is quickly becoming my favorite place to shop. I found a couple great deals on stuff just in case you didn't open their email...

They have a bunch of Corky Kids on sale today. This top, for example, is $9.99

I actually had to check out very quickly because they were going so fast.

Another sale I saw today was for getting images on two canvases for $39. Here is the description from Zulily: When you buy this $39 voucher, you will receive a 16 x 20 x 3/4 inch thick gallery-wrapped canvas print, ready to hang, and a bonus 5 x 7 canvas print. This combo would usually cost more than $100! Both prints from your same original image—one to keep and one for Grandma, perhaps?

This is the last day for this sale!

Just thought I'd give everyone a heads up! Happy Shopping!

My new camera strap

noreply@blogger.com (Mandy) — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 14:55:00 +0000

It would almost be a crime if I didn't blog about my new camera strap from Laura at Pitter Patter Art. I love it. LOVE it. Actually, I love everything that Laura makes. If I had a job and money, she would be one rich woman and my house would be decorated in her stuff.

First I have to give myself kudos for thinking about taking pictures of the strap BEFORE I attached it to the camera. Sometimes what might seem obvious to others doesn't come as quickly to me. When the lightbulb did blink, I giggled at the thought of me attempting to take a picture of a camera strap that was attached to the camera that I was taking the picture with. (and trust me, a grown woman talking to herself and giggling at a camera strap can be a little creepy.)

So here is my strap. I was able to pick out the cloth for each side out of her wide array of choices she has online. It was a little overwhelming there were so many. She sent me the picture of it after she had made it, and then I found out I could put a saying on it. A SAYING. At first I was just going to put my name because I have about the same creativity level as a rock, but what I really wanted was something Biblical. So, knowing that Laura is super creative, I emailed her and she gave me a suggestion. It was perfect. My strap is perfect. I want more of them to coordinate with my outfits.

The picture really doesn't do it justice.

It says, "I praise you for remembering me in everything. I Corinthians 11:2"

Get it? Remembering? Photo? Creative, right?

You may now bow down to my strap's awesomeness.

I did not receive any compensation for this post by Laura Kelly or Pitter Patter Art, nor was I asked by Laura to create this post. This is all my own opinion of the awesome item that I bought from her. :)

Mini-Vaca

noreply@blogger.com (Mandy) — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 22:47:00 +0000

We left over the weekend for a mini-vacation to Wisconsin Dells. Both of the girls opted for this over having birthday parties with friends, which was great with me! My little Chippy turned 5 and my little Mousey turned 8. I also became one year closer to dying during the week.

We sort of had a weird weekend, but overall it was nice to get away. Our hotel room was beautiful, we paid a little more for a 2 bedroom condo and we were able to spread out a little better. 6 people in one hotel room can get a little cramped, and although we've done it plenty of times, I thought if we really wanted to relax a little we needed the extra room. Plus we had a full kitchen which was awesome because instead of having to eat out all weekend (which on average is $50 each time we eat) we were able to go to Walmart and get food and we only spent $30 which really made the extra for the room a wash. Anyways, here are the pics.

Blogtastic Extravaganza!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Mandy) — Sun, 23 Jan 2011 06:00:00 +0000

And the winner is (as chosen by www.random.org)...

Kristin P! Congrats Kristin! I'll be sending you an email, I hope you enjoy your items!!! Thank you to everyone that entered, this was a blast!

The time has come, ladies and gentlemen, for the Blogtastic Extravaganza!!! This is an amazing giveaway bloghop of 150 bloggers that all have giveaways going on! Isn't that awesome! My giveaway is for:

A key fob by Pitter Patter Art created especially for you by Laura with your choice of fabric and custom details. Isn't that awesome that you can create your own?!? Laura and her beautiful family are adopting another child from Africa and she creates her art to help fund their adoption. She has some absolutely awesome stuff, so after you sign up for this giveaway you can check hers out as well.

The second half of the giveaway is for the Taste of Home Learning 60 Science Experiments ebook. I have already reviewed this book and you can find it along with pictures here.

Finally, you will receive a Thirty-One Fold and Go Organizer in Floral Fanfare:

In order to enter this giveaway, you must follow my blog through Google Friend Connect (on the right) and then post a comment below telling me you did. That is a requirement.

For extra (optional) enteries, you can do this:

1. Visit Touch of Home Learning and tell me one of the experiments that catches your interest listed in their 16 page example.
2. "Like" Touch of Home Learning's Facebook Page.
3. Share this giveaway on Twitter.
4. Share this giveaway on Facebook.
5. Visit Pitter Patter Art's Facebook page and like them.
6. Visit my Thirty One website, look through the catalog, and comment on here about something that you like.

Make sure that for each one of these you do, you leave a comment on this post telling me you did. Winner will be chosen by random.org on 1/23, contest ends 12am EST on 1/22. Don't forget to visit all the rest of the sites in the Blogtastic Extravaganza and sign up for all the awesome giveaways!

The woman, the blow dryer, and the cord.

noreply@blogger.com (Mandy) — Thu, 20 Jan 2011 21:18:00 +0000

I debated about telling this story because frankly, it makes me sound like a total idiot. Then I decided that everyone does something idiotic now and then, and a real woman will tell her moronic stories (see how I justify that? it's a talent).

I do feel like I need to preface this story with some disclaimers. First, I had yet to take my medication that morning. Second, I had not had my coffee yet. Two huge factors in the function of my mental capacities. One keeps me sane. The other keeps me awake. Without them I'm just a crazy tired woman. I probably shouldn't even have been around a hair dryer with it being attached to electricity and all. I'm probably lucky I'm still alive.

Anyhow, I had been using my camper hairdryer the last few months because it works better than my regular hairdryer, but in the last few days it had begun to randomly go into low gear and blow out cold air. Annoying. So on this particular day it had started with the low gear cold air from the beginning. I thought to myself, "Well, maybe if I unplug it, it will confuse it into thinking it should work again." (the fact that I thought I could 'confuse' my hair dryer that morning really should have been my first red flag) So I proceed to unplug the hairdryer. I am holding the cord in one hand and the dryer in the other and the damn thing was still blowing air. I'm not even kidding. It was unplugged. I had the cord in my hand. I am looking from the cord to the dryer. Turn the dryer off, turn it back on. It continues to work. At this point I'm thinking to myself: I TOLD everyone our house is haunted! My flippin' hair dryer is possessed! It works while it is unplugged. Look at the damn thing! I wonder if I should get some video of this!

As all of this is going through my head, I continue to look back and forth from the cord to the possessed dryer. Turning it on. Turning it off. OMG. It is seriously freaking me out by this point.

Then I look at the cord in my hand. REALLY look at the cord in my hand. Hmmmm, I thought my hair dryer's cord was bigger than that. My eyes follow the cord I'm holding all tangled up and find that it leads me to my curling iron. So, for a full five minutes I stood in front of my vanity and looked back and forth from my curling iron's cord to my blowing dryer in complete awe that my dryer would work when I unplugged my curling iron. Brilliant.

Could you totally see that coming? My husband said he could. Actually, everyone I've told so far has said that they saw it coming. It wasn't quite so obvious to me. The only moral of the story that I have been able to come up with for this one is that when you get up in the morning you should take drugs and drink caffeine. Obviously that is the only way that my mental abilities won't be equivalent to a gopher. A really. stupid. gopher.

Happy Birthday Chippy!

noreply@blogger.com (Mandy) — Wed, 19 Jan 2011 14:17:00 +0000

Five years ago today my little Chip was born. I don't know what time, or even her birthweight, and I can't tell you how her labor went. I can tell you that she is one healthy, happy little girl. She is incredibly smart and well mannered. Here are some previous pictures and a new one:

My favorite visit video (please ignore how ridiculous I sound)

and now...

Swagbucks

noreply@blogger.com (Mandy) — Sat, 15 Jan 2011 18:44:00 +0000

I came across this new site via a fellow blogger's site. It's called Swagbucks. Now I've been preaching about Ebates for so long, how you can get money back just by choosing your shopping destination through Ebates, and Swagbucks is similar except you get points towards items like gift certificates. Reminds me a bit of credit card points. You don't have to buy through Swagbucks, you can get points just by using their search engine. I guess if I can get money back in any way that is easy for me, I'm all for it! I like to be cheap like that!

The points add up pretty quickly, and you can get 30 points just for signing up by using my Swagbucks link here. This way we both win, you get 30 signup points, and I get some points for a referral. Then send your referral link out and get some referral points yourself! Check it out!

Disclaimer: I did not receive any compensation from Swagbucks for this post except any referral points I might get from a referral as mentioned in the post. All opinions are exclusively mine.

Touch of Home Learning Science Book Review & Giveaway!

noreply@blogger.com (Mandy) — Fri, 14 Jan 2011 18:04:00 +0000

I was lucky enough to be chosen to review the book 60 Quick and Easy Science Experiments with Everyday Items written by Sara Hickman and marketed through Touch of Home Learning. Touch of Home Learning is a preschool (ages 3-7) geared company that combines science and fun. The ingredients or supplies needed for the experiments are either things you would find at home or something you could easily find at a store.

While looking through the book I was overwhelmed at all of the experiments that were available. There were many topics to choose from like "Space", "Dinosaurs", "Crime Scene Science" and "Kitchen Chemistry". Some of the experiments were as involved as making an erupting volcano, and some of them as minimal as making an ocean in a bottle. As a mom I loved that the experiments were easy enough that my Chippy (going to be 5 years old soon) could follow with little assistance. By this I mean that I was supervising and reading her the directions, but Little Miss Independent could do most of it herself. As a teacher, I loved the open-ended discussion questions that were included with the experiments; many of the questions being higher level thinking questions, and also the reasons why the experiment worked were provided.

We chose the Goo experiment to try. The ingredients were all things I had at home: a bowl, utensils, corn starch, and water.

Chippy and I read the directions together, and poured some corn starch into the plastic storage container (directions said bowl, but I used this so we could store it and show the other kids when they came home).

Then some water.

Then mixing. The consistency of the Goo made it really difficult to stir, and we figured out pretty quickly that even though she could start the stirring, I had to finish it to really mix it together.

And some of that happened, but it was no big deal because it was only corn starch. After following the directions we dove into finding answers to the provided questions like, "What happens when you slap the Goo?"

Chippy loved putting the experiment together, but didn't like the feel of the Goo because she's a freak about having her hands clean, so maybe it was mom's fault for not choosing an experiment that allowed for clean hands. :)

Things I loved: Simple directions, easy to find supplies, selection of different science topics, and discussion questions

Things I didn't love: The experiments were listed in an index and also in a table of contents by numbers, but the actual experiment wasn't numbered so it was difficult for me to quickly locate the experiment of choice.

The positives of the book far outweighed the negatives and I think this book would be fantastic for a preschool-kindergarten teacher, a home-schooling parent, or even just a parent looking for some fun activities for their child to do at home.

Disclaimer: To write this review I received a free copy of this Touch of Home Learning e-book, but receiving a free copy in no way swayed my opinion of the book or the company.

Upcoming Review for Natural Skin Shop

noreply@blogger.com (Mandy) — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 19:08:00 +0000

Soon I'm going to be doing a review of the Glycolic Acid 40% Medium Strength Chemical Peel. I am so excited! I chose this peel because it is recommended for ages 30-35 and is a great starter peel. I am a total virgin chemical peeler, so this will be a whole new experience for me. Stay tuned!

Excellent Zulily Sale

noreply@blogger.com (Mandy) — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 14:24:00 +0000

Today Zulily has an awesome sale on Baby Lulu (one of my fave brands) but unfortunately for me it's only on infant sizes (they also have Pepper Toes) but I thought I'd pass it along anyway because I love it so much.

Fern Vickie Top and Pants Set $19.49

They also have some cute hair pretties by Cutie Pie

Violet Flower Headband $16.99

Tomorrow they're going to have Corky & Company (I'm hoping for cute coats!) and Oilily and more WeeBoo Shoes. :)

11 Step Program for Wanna-be Parents

noreply@blogger.com (Mandy) — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 19:51:00 +0000

I didn't make this up (obviously most of you have probably read it already somewhere - ahem Facebook) but it is seriously the funniest thing I've read in awhile. I had Rocket when I was 21. NOBODY told me these things.

Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.
Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't have kids. I guarantee they'll get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!

Postpartum Depression

noreply@blogger.com (Mandy) — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 14:21:00 +0000

I know, what a fun subject, right? It's important to talk about subjects like this, though, otherwise other people going through the same thing are left to feel like they are weird or alone.

Hi. My name is Mandy and I have Postpartum Depression (along with many other mental issues, but we're just going with this one for now, ok?).

I've just figured out within the last year that I have (had?) Postpartum Depression. The last child that I bore is now going on 8, and I actually think it started after Goose which means I'm going on ten years strong. I don't know if I would ever have known it if I wouldn't have gotten better first. In other words, I didn't know what was wrong until I felt right again.

This was because I don't think I had the typical symptoms of PPD. Even though I felt sad a lot of the time, I wasn't nonstop crying. Mine manifasted itself more in the way of a personality change. Obsessive behaviors, dissatisfaction with everything (always wanting more and better), dark thoughts. I would lay in bed at night and think of all the bad things that could happen to my kids. Thankfully, I never thought of hurting them myself (as I've heard sometimes PPD women can do). Mine were more like I would imagine that one of my kids were kidnapped (and all the horrible things that go with that) or hit by a car or worse. I would lay in bed at night and not fall asleep because all of these things were running through my mind, and I'd cry because all the scenarios were so sad. I KNEW that I was being unreasonable. Yes, things like that happen, but you really can just do the best you can to keep your kids safe. It's like my left brain was going, "The chances of any of those things happening are slim, and you are being overly dramatic" (in sort of a lower, monotone, sometimes English accent voice) and my right brain was going, "All these things could happen and they are so sad! What would you do without them!" (in sort of a high pitch, frantic sounding voice). I couldn't control the way I felt.

When I would discuss this stuff with anyone (because for awhile I thought it was due to my anxiety), people would say things like, "Just stop thinking about it." or "Just relax." which is maddening to a person who can't control the way they feel. Part of the problem was that other people couldn't see what was wrong because I am a person who LOVES to laugh. Not a lot of people could see what was going on because it was mostly on the inside, and what was showing was a gradual slope downward over a year and a half.

I believe it started with Goose because when I had him I just didn't feel right. I thought it was because my pregnancies were so terrible, and the doctor had already said that I shouldn't have any more kids. So I was mad at my body for not being able to handle pregnancy and mad at the doctor that they couldn't do more to help me. Dan and I decided to give it another go when Goose was 9 months, which I think didn't do anything to help because the kids were so close together. Not long after Mousey was born, due to complications with her pregnancy, I had to have a hysterectomy which was devastating to me. I felt like I was no longer a woman and the choice of having more kids was now taken away. Plus with the hormones fluctuating all over the place, I think that my PPD just took a nosedive.

It's not that I was completely oblivious that there was something up. I tried going into the doctor and he tried every medication under the sun. I felt like nothing was helping, although I wasn't taking any of it faithfully (great idea - give someone who has trouble motivating herself to do anything and ask her to remember to take a medication every day). The real problem was that I wasn't ready to get better yet. I hadn't hit that "point" where I knew something needed to be done. When I finally knew it was time to do something, I went back into the doctor and she (different doc) put me on one of the same pills that didn't "do anything" for me before. I've been on these pills since last February (I think) and that's how I knew I had PPD. It was only after the fact, when I finally felt like myself again, that I knew I had been depressed. It's amazing how normal I feel again.

So that is my story. I don't know if once you're a PPD victim that you always are? Is it like Alcoholics Anonymous where you're always recovering and it never quite goes away? It sort of feels like it could be. And I didn't tell this story because I think everyone with PPD should be on medication, but I do think that they should seek help from a professional. And it is so hard feeling like you're alone and with the negative stigma attached to PPD (thanks Tom Cruise - your craziness has really wrecked your hotness in my eyes - I can't even WATCH Top Gun anymore), it's no wonder women don't go for help.

Here are some resources:
Postpartum Support International
Postpartum Healing
National Postpartum Hotline 1-800-PPD-MOMS

Book Review: Still Missing

noreply@blogger.com (Mandy) — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 13:22:00 +0000

I don't think I've ever gone into how much I love to read. I can sit down and finish a book at one sitting because I'm fast and I usually can't put the book down.

I ordered a book through my bookclub called Still Missing. I hadn't heard of the book, just read the summary, and it sounded good so I bought it. You can read the true summary by clicking on the link, but basically the book is about a woman realtor named Annie who is abducted while conducting an open house. The abduction isn't really violent, but when he takes her as a hostage up to a remote cabin it starts to get creepy and unnerving. The kind of story that gives you goosebumps and you want to put it down because you're getting a little nauseous but you can't because you need to know what happens next (although I can be a little obsessive that way). The author, Chevy Stevens, does pull you in right away and I never felt like the book was being drawn out. Actually, especially toward the end, I thought it could have been longer and the ending left me wanting more and surprised it was over. There is a plot twist that I didn't see coming, and the main character is very well developed. I know that for some people finding time to read is really hard to do, so when you do read something you want it to be excellent, and I think that this book is one that is worth spending your reading time on.

***Warning: There are some rape scenes in the book and although they aren't particularly violent ones, they are rape nonetheless. If you are sensitive to this I would suggest not reading the book.

31

noreply@blogger.com (Mandy) — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 16:02:00 +0000

My 31 site is back up and running. I have no idea what even happened. Believe it or not, the pretty fonts on this site were connected to my 31 site, and it was somehow screwing it up. It's not updated right now because I just got it up and running, but please take a look at Fox Valley Thirty-One. You don't need to live in the Fox Valley to order from me! You can find January's specials below. Please go to my Thirty-One page and like 31 on FB and also grab my button. Thanks!

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