Adventures in the Meta

The Tale of the Red Queen by The Dark Design

2019-08-07T13:56:00.001-07:00

The Return of Gordon Vader

2018-06-26T03:17:00.000-07:00

Yep... it's true I have been busy on other planes, but I have decided to return to Earth for a spot of R& R and since I'm here I thought I might as well play some magic...

Coming very soon, new decks, new ideas, some videos and something new... Magic as an investment! What the feck is that all about? Find out by staying tuned...

2014-02-10T03:57:00.002-08:00

So what are you going to do about the influx of convincing fake Magic The Gathering cards?

Is it time to sell up? or do you hang on to your collection?

Well our advice is to get your collections on line now! just so you have some precedent, if and when you do decide to sell them...

MTG cards for sale on Facebook is a good place to start... you don't need to sell them but you do need to let people know you possess them just in case a massive load of fakes do arrive.

Remember kids Hasbro make no money from the secondary market and are therefore less likely to fight the good fight against the recent rise in counterfeiters from the Far East.

That said it could all just be a storm in a teacup... But! be extra cautious when trading at big events...excersize extreme caution when buying on Auction sites and online stores like Ebay and Amazon...

Dear Tilda Swinton

2012-11-28T15:41:00.001-08:00

Please please stop calling me... Ok I will write another deck list and/or article... So for the love of god please just leave it will ya!

Thats the thing about red heads. Once you break that taboo and let them into your trade folders there's just no way to stop them...

By the way I am currently recommending the MTG Familar andriod ap because it was mine and Tilda's favourite... I'll post a link when I get back to my proper puter... I am doing all this from the tips of my tippy toe fingers on my Galaxy Note...

Meanwhile here is a picture of a puppy...

And today a bowl of horses....

2012-11-16T06:08:00.001-08:00

Modern Walls

2012-10-07T13:30:00.001-07:00

So this one is long overdue and it’s our first proper modern deck…

The theory is simple, keep them out, and keep them blind until it’s time for the grand finale…

The Wrath of Karn because it ends with a genesis wave….

You will need.

4 –Axebane Guardian

4 – Gate Creeper Vine

4 Over Grown Battlement

4 wall of roots

2 Wall of Tanglecord

2 Mnenomic Wall

4 Mindslaver

4 genesis wave

1 Emrakul the Eons Torn

1 Ulamog the Infinite Gyre

1 Blightsteel Colossus

2 Karn Libertaed

4 leyline of sanctity

1 elixir of Immortailty

The lands I will leave to you but clearly it needs green and white with a blue splash… and you need at least two Eye of Ugin

So what does it do? Well as you have probably worked out it’s a ramp deck… and the plan is to generate a lot of mana early so you can create ever increasing Genesis waves, ideally for 7, but 6 if you are struggling. What you are looking for is a mindslaver and enough untapped lands to trigger it right away and if possible a Karn… If you do manage to do this then next turn you are probably going to have enough mana to genesis wave into either one of the massive eldrazi fatties or perhaps even enough to tutor and play one. Your win cons are obviously the big dudes and the Karn, but you can also generate an achievable mind slaver lock and use their own decks against them too… This deck can generate an insane amount of mana very quickly a turn 3 or 4 wave for 7 should be easy to achieve and you’ll have those great big walls for defence from the aggro decks.

The Leylines are essential to this deck and indeed many modern decks they are there to prevent snatches like Inquisition of kozilek and duress which could be crippling to this deck and for the sideboard look for rootborn defences against wrath decks and manor gargoyles for a sneaky aggro twist, oh and wall of reverence for some quick life gain against burn. You might need defence against the new super o ring…

2012-09-27T05:05:00.001-07:00

I SAW THIS ON A JUNCTION BOX AND THOUGHT I WOULD SHARE IT

Blistercoil weird exclusive first look return to Ravnica spoiler alert

2012-09-14T10:28:00.000-07:00

A Return to Ravnica spoiler special for us here today...

We can exclusively reveal a brand new card straight off the press...

and here it is...

it's a surprsingly potent turn one drop... suitable for Red deck wins and Jonny combo blue decks...

A Battle Of Wits, Battle of Wits

2012-07-14T06:08:00.000-07:00

So this is an open invitation to join our left field competition to create the best Battle of Wits deck...

As you can see the ultimate end game is to cast Battle of Wits... oh and stay alive long enough to win.

You may use any cards in standard, in any colour, you can run as many alternative wins as possible, but you must have Battle of Wits as a theme i.e. your deck will have to have more than 200 cards in it...

So get tinkering we'll post the best ones here...

Oh the Prize? Well that's easy... The winner gets The entire city of Paris to do with as they please... You can run amok on the Champs elysees, have sex with the Eiffel Tower, (apparently this happens a lot?!) or simply tear the place down and start again....

Red (and you're dead) By Peter Rodway

2012-07-12T02:03:00.002-07:00

Hello Meta Heads... We haven't had a new deck for a while so it is with great pleasure and some gusto that I proudly present our latest offering it's from Old Bones Pete Rodway... (who is probably most famous for making the Pink Panther cry during a feature match at GP Brighton)

Anyway it's called

Red (and you're dead)

You will need...

Creatures
4 Goblin Arsonist
4 Goblin Chieftain
4 Goblin Fireslinger
4 Goblin Wardriver
4 Spikeshot Elder

Legendary Creatures
3 Krenko, Mob Boss

Sorceries
4 Goblin Grenade
4 Krenko's Command
4 Pillar of Flame

Artfifacts

4 Ring of Valkas

Basic Lands
17 Mountain

Lands
4 Hellion Crucible

So Goblins has been nearly a good deck...on the fringes for this whole standard in my opinion. This version and the old Kuldotha Red version.

It has now been given some new legs by the addition of Krenko and potentially also flunkies although I chose not to include them

Chieftan giving Krenko's tokens haste makes for an absolute beating and any deck without removal arriving on time will die to the combination of the two cards in short order.

Back that up with some burn, especially Goblin grenade

and you are on for some very fast starts,

Might want to consider Hellion Crucible or Shrine of Burning Rage for longer more drawn out games or against control (I've whacked em in main deck Pete!)

(What I love about this deck and I love this deck! is the Spikeshot Elder / Ring double act... Those two cards together can operate as your removal, your attack and even your finisher and a threat that your opponents will have to deal with ASAP...)

New science stuff! I am now able to upload content to this most wonderous of blogs using only the power of my mind!

2012-07-12T01:33:00.001-07:00

See! awesome right? So today's thought!

Thank you wizards for reprinting Hamlet Back Goliath

If ever there was an over powered underplayed stupid big beastie then this was it!

The Retun of Dual lands?

2012-07-11T04:33:00.000-07:00

So here's a thought....

There are a few cards in the M13 core set that have random find a swamp or a forest or an island mechanic... Surely these should say "find a basic land?"

Which suggests they are going to be bringing back the Ravicna dual land...

It's speculation but we predicted the return of the Swords and the Towers in Mirrodin Beseiged...

You'll note Liliana's first ability seems a little underwhelming at first...

So we are sayimg it... We at Adventures in The Meta are Predicting the return of Dual lands or shock lands...

M 13 pre release

2012-07-10T07:13:00.002-07:00

So we're trying something new this time round... A video log of our pack cracking and chatting about the new M13 Core set...

This may interest some of you

2012-05-18T04:19:00.003-07:00

a Blog for folks who find it hard to read text on screens... http://manbitesgod.wordpress.com/

Avacyn Restored

2012-05-01T12:40:00.001-07:00

Well They finally did it...They Broke Magic...There's been a few goes in the past but this lot takes all the biscuits and then smashes them into a weird paste which your evil auntie will then make into the base for a big shit pie...

Wot The Feck? I hear you ask...Well it's a Miracle this lot made it out of the the workshop...

Consider the Mechanic - MIRACLE - If this is the first spell you draw this turn you may play it for Ir's miracle cost... Ok so... spells that cost less if there's a trigger we've seen that before... The Problem here is the missing word... REVEAL... its not there... So what you have to take your opponents word for it? and the other problem is the strength of the miracles... Increasing Savagery for one mana? hallowed Burial for one and of course they have reprinted time walk in Temporal Mastery...

Basically if they don't ban one of then (and they Might) then every blue deck in the meta is going to try for a turn one ponder turn two extra turn,,,

Sure there's the anti counter land, but fat lot of good that's gonna do anyone if they they're a turn behind...

It's a shame because there as some great cards in the set and loads of goodies for yer EDH/Commander deck...

Modern Burn gets the kick it needs in Vexing Devil

and I like this little sneaky card... which, although quite specific, could be great n the right deck..

Jank rare of the Millennium goes to this pathetic excuse for a re-assembling skeleton....

I mean who in their right mind would play this?

Anyway whether they ban Temporal Mastery or ponder is important but it doesn't change the fact that until the next rotation it looks like INFECT is finally going to be the meta breaker...

Why?

Two reasons...

One

Two

Am I right? Of course I am... I'm always right!

Francis plays Magic the Gathering

2012-03-14T05:27:00.002-07:00

We've all kind of been there.... Sometimes your deck hates you... Sometimes your opponenet likes nothing more than making numbers get bigger,,, Sometimes your opponent throws his rattle and upends the table....
Oh the crazy world o Magic the Gathering....

Of course somefolks will do anything for a million hits...Fact or fiction?

Dare you sup from the Cup of Death? Gordon Vader returns

2012-02-12T16:14:00.000-08:00

So I know what you're thinking...

Tilda Swinton fur coat and heels right?

Sorry that was a Freudian slut... Dammit! what's wrong with me?

Well since you asked... I'm having the same problem as you guys... I'm missing the Vader Madness... I'm getting a million emails asking me why I haven't made a deck in ages (in my head at least) here's one here...

Dear Gordon Vader,

Why haven't you made a deck in ages?.

Love,

Tilda Swinton

Well how can I turn down that kind of request? So here it is...

It's nuts. it's left-field. it will win you one game in twenty, but when it does... you'll leave your opponent scratching his head and trying to work out why you're the one leaving with the 6 foot androgynous strawberry blonde film star because every one knows Ms Swinton is a combo lover...

I call it Death Cup (I know scary right?)

So standard is great. the top decks all cost about what you used to pay for a pair of Mindsculptors and that's brought down barriers to play... But still... you can get a lot of beer for the cost of a snapcaster mage.... and I like beer...So here's a deck that will cost you nuffin and win you less... but like I said it's all about the taking part and to be frank if you're not taken apart playing this then you might want to invest in a snapcaster mage or two...Seriously though give it a go because its all there in your commons box and it might surprise you...So enough rambling here's the plan...

you will need...

4 Chalice of life (and death)

4 Elixir of Immortality

Lands I'll leave up to you... but as it's mostly artifact based you can run pretty much anything just add swamps, plains and forests or run the cheaper duals like razorverge thicket... but you really want green to get you moving...

So what does it do? Well it's pokier than you think, but basically it's a lock down life gain deck that has two strategies for the win...

Mostly you're just keeping your opponents out with effective blockers while at the same time gaining insane amounts of life and putting you out of their reach until eventually (actually usually very quickly) flipping over the chalice of life, to death and putting you opponent on a 4 turn clock...you can do this turn 3 easily...

As always there's a Vader Combo and here it is...This decks strategy relies upon you getting to 30 life in a hurry and what's the fastest way to do that? Well if you haven't figured it out from the list here's the double act you're looking for....

Elixir of immortality & Viridian Harvest..

So it's simple the elixir taps for 2 to gain 5 life and goes to the graveyard and resets your library and the enchantment gains you 6 life when the enchanted elixir hits the graveyard that's turn 2/3 that's - 31 life - turn 3/4 drop a chalice and watch your opponent's face...

Ok... so you can see what happens in the perfect world cool, but we know that there's another player on the table however, while it may sound like a one trick pony your deck has other answers...

The talismans and chalices will pump your life naturally and the walls and wardens will keep out pretty much everything... while all the time you can just keep tapping and sacking the elixirs to push towards that 30 life...

Elesh Norn, Ratchet Nombs and Glissa will help keep out everything...tragic slip anything you can't deal with, naturally allowing a wall to croak first and if Shrek shows up Geth's Verdict his big green hexproof ass... And remember you can just keep reseting you library... in late game you'll find you can gain stupid stupid amounts of life and eventually you will trigger the fatal chalice or top deck them....Be careful popping your ratchet bombs though because a flipped chalice has the same converted mana cost as a token

Ok so here's the Mecano we're gonna leave it up to you to build the skyscraper... Do you add blue for control? Moxes for turn one tick? Card draw wraths? Well that’s up you...

FASQ

how do I play against Mana leak? They'll never have seen your deck before and will have no idea what to counter...Chances are they'll have 3 waiting when you try and resolve an Elesh Norn but that's ok because you can just reset the library and try again...

Why are there 4 Viridian Harvests in the deck?

People with large foreheads and small penises will tell you that this is a bad card, but every card has its place and harvests place is here... don't see it as an enchantment, see it as gain six life for one green... it goes well on both the walls and the ratchet bombs too...

Revole existance? Players with this card are a major threat to the fun, but don't worry if you're facing one then the bar's probably near by and you can afford to get drunk because you built your deck with 2$...

So there you have it.... A cheap, sneaky deck amd a giggle to play... I'll post the links soon and don't forget to Click Click Click those Banner ads...Particularily Magic Madhouse...

UPDATE

Did you spot it? The deliberate mistake? Sure you did it was obvious... I mean imagine if you hadn't noticed that the elixir of immortality doesn't actually go the graveyard. I mean clearly it doesn't, I mean why would it right? It's not like every other stupid artifact in the scars block runs a tap sac mechanic, like all the spells bombs, but no, not the elixir because that would take up too much precious space for text and we wouldn't want that. So no the Elixir doesn't go to the graveyard at all meaning that the combo doesn't work. I mean I'm lucky I've never made a bad play or a magic mistake. Imagine though that just for a second some idiot did take the Cup Death deck to their Standard testing and played three rounds before someone muttered the immortal phrase,”Can I just read that for a second,” and discovered your deliberate mistake. I mean how embarrassing would that be?

I'm just glad that I've never made a magic mistake and to celebrate I'm going to write a special account of all the mistakes that my friends and I have never made,.including the time during Lorwyn that I, I mean someone from Canada, swung an 21/21 Hamlet-back Goliath, for the win, straight into a 1/1 death-touch elf despite the fact I, he, had a lighting bolt in my, his, hand. Response? I her you say , oh I would have done had the Canadian idiot not decided to leave a plains open as his only source of mana after tapping the red/white duals to play a pointless Wispmare, doh!

Anyway we were struck by madness last night and the thought hit me why not document the epic fails of magic We've all made them, well I haven't, but you all have and that guy from Canada who looks a bit like me but definitely isn't me.

So please send in your epic fails and I'll create a glorious shrine to the daftest things we've ever done in the pursuit of a top eight.

Oh and finally to make the deck above work, just drop in some golden urns (which do go to the graveyard...)

Deck of the Dead standard blue black zombies from Max Chambers

2012-02-08T07:00:00.000-08:00

We're back from the Grave with our first deck in ages.. Well, I say our deck... this one comes from Sheffield's Max Chambers and while it has a few pricier cards in its midst... I will say that anyone who follows his advice and build will reap the rewards as the mid range rares go through the roof post Friday's GP Honolulu

Max Calls it

Deck of the Dead

4 Diregraf ghoul
4 Gravecrawler
3 SnapcasterMage
3 Diregraf Captain
4 Geralf'sMessenger
2 Phyrexian Obliterator
2 Phantasmal Image

3 Distress
2 Doomblade
2 Go for the throat
3 Tragic Slip
2 Sword of War and Peace
3 Smallpox

4 Darkslick Shores
4 Drowned Catacombs
3 Ghost Quarter
10 Swamp
2 Island

Sideboard
3 Mental Mistep
3 Vapor Snag
2 Ratchet Bomb
3 Liliana of the Veil
2 Curse of Deaths Hold
2 Negate

Phantasmal Image is very good in the UB deck. Copying a messenger is
powerful, and you know its good against titans, thrun etc.

Snapcaster is the best card in blue at the moment. It gives so much value that
there isn't any reason not to run it. It not being a zombie isn't really
an issue, when you can cast all the spells in your yard twice.

The captain makes their wrath effects hurt. Even though this deck isn't
bothered as much as other aggro decks, enough sweep will slow you down
and allow them to stabilise. It also helps you power through blockers.
Having it in play makes it hard for them to profitably block your guys.

Distress is good against ramp. Disrupting their ramp of turn 2 or 3 really slows
them down. It also hits other stuff that this deck has a hard time with,
like planeswalkers, mirran crusader and grafdiggers cage after board.

The swords are excellent equipment. They increase your clock massively,
help you win races, give you evasion against tokens, and gives
protection against celestial purge, which causes problems for the deck.

Ghost quarters blow up wolf run and moorland haunt, don’t really hurt too much
and so are worth running.

I think evolving wilds are probably a little to slow.
The deck wants to curve nicely and wilds stops this happening.
The blue is only a splash, so I don’t think the extra fixing is needed.

The sideboard probably needs some work, but testing will help with that.

The mental misteps are for post-board grafdigger's cage, which wrecks all of this decks nice interactions, and so is worth dealing with. Its free to cast too, so you don’t have to keep mana up for it.

Vapor snags are for aggro match ups. Being able to keep them off tempo is useful. It also helps against mirran crusader, which is a big problem for this deck. Bouncing an obliterator in the mirror is good too.

Ratchet bombs are excellent against tokens, especially when this deck isn't that bothered by its stuff dying. It either comes back by itself or you play it again.
Also deals with crusader and grafdiggers cage.

Liliana is good disruption which helps slow down control and ramp. She's also good against midrange decks, but not so much against aggro, which the format is dominated by at the moment, which is why she's not in the main.

Curse is good against tokens again, but I'm not sure about its inclusion.

Negate is for control match ups. You run enough removal that creatures aren’t so much of a problem, but planeswalkers are.

Any ideas on how to improve would be appreciated.

Magic the Gathering Drinking Game by Gordon Vader Magic the hammering

2012-01-30T11:28:00.000-08:00

I have decided once and for all to enshrine two of my four great loves into one (three if you include hopeless causes which some might argue the other two are) Drinking and Magic The Gathering...

As you may know the two have been pretty inseparable in my life and indeed it was during the epic bender of GP New Orleans where I first discovered my planes-walker 'spark'.

So it is with great pleasure I present....

Gordon Vader's Magical Drinking Game....

Magic the Hammering...

Now being a Magic related game the rules are clearly going to be complicated, confusing and sometimes impossible to understand... but that is, if anything, half the point...

OK So the rules (such as they are...)

before the game commences there will be a number of piles of cards laid out... thinks of these as boosters and it would be a good idea to sleeve them in different colours... (or at least the generals) These cards will fall into different types... e.g. one pile for instants, one for artefacts one for sorceries, one for creatures etc. the most important pile is for your general...

You'll need a general each so I would recommend you have a pool for about 10... Now I'm going to repeat this next bit throughout this post because it's important... DO NOT USE VALUABLE CARDS...

The object of the game is to be the last person who can, without slurring or puking, correctly name his general, his colours, his casting cost, his abilities and if applicable any flavour text... Get it wrong or slur it and your out..(depending on the strength of your livers feel free to reduce them accordingly... i.e. name only etc )

So who should you use as generals?

Well any legend is OK and like life some are gonna be easy and some are gonna suck... so try and pick as many evenly matched ones as possible... for our version we use a whole load from the legends block because they are crap and therefore cheap, complicated and instantly forgettable...

If I said Doran the Siege Tower you'd probably all say.... green-white-black - creatures attack with their asses. (or at least you would if you played round here...)

...however if I said...

Adun Oakenshield - whatcha gonna do?

Well let's have a look...

So as we can see he's red black green, a 1/2, he's got a recursion ability and there's some guff from his grimoire in the flavour text... He could be a toughie and best of all he only costs about £0.50 tops... so there you have it the perfect calibre for a general...

Now I know what you're thinking and you're right this game would be impossible if you have to remember all that face down from the start of the game...

So to make it fun (and playable) in your up keep on the first round you can read the info from the card... in your second upkeep you have to read it from the table... and on your third turn... you flip him over at the start of you upkeep...

So how do you play?

Well I and my compadres have collated and created a list of instants, sorceries, creatures enchantments, artefacts and so forth from the world of Magic and given them alternative rules...

We'll get to the them shortly, but firstly the issue of mana...

Mana in magic is usually created by lands and in Magic the Hammering lands also create Mana, only lands in this game are pints of beer, lager or cider... (for simplicity... and feel free to quote this to any whiners amongst you... This is a drinking game, not a dinner party so the rules don't care of you don't like beer or cider you still have to have one... so, no ladies, wine is not an option unless the blokes you are playing with are soft enough to let you play with a spritzer, in which case you've probably already won)

So I have my land/pint how do we play?

Well it's multi-player and every mage for themselves. The object is to get your opponents so mashed they loose the game... So from the piles of instants, sorceries, creatures, artefacts, et all you all pick one... These are your decks deck size can vary depending on how large your livers are and how important motor function is to you... so sake of the tutorial we'll start with a card of each which should give you six...

Each player then shuffles his/her little deck and draws 3 cards... This is your starting hand,...(each round you'll draw one from the top of your library)

Now like Magic the Gathering, colour is important in this game..

Black is nasty with things coming back to haunt you...

Red is generally quick and aggressive...

Green tramples and is massive...

White may have a healing preventative nature...

Blue is evasive and downright sneaky...

So the game starts with a highest dice roll, arm wrestle or whatever... and the first player casts his first spell at whoever they like... Play continues after clockwise until it's the original player's turn. Every upkeep each player must recite the name and details of their general if they make a mistake they are out...

To Cast a spell you need to drink a finger of alcohol from your land / pint for each symbol on your chosen spell … if it doesn't do much then it should be a couple and no real danger to you... if it's a monster you may have to neck half your beer, but such its the game... Land pints can produce all colours on mana, but like Gemstones Mines and Vivid lands they can run out... when your land runs out go get anther one it's that simple.

What happens then?

Well this is Magic, to a degree so as you know a lot can happen... so let's look at all the out comes....

Firstly what kind of spell was it? If it was an instant... then the effect happens immediately...this means if there is a drink involved the victim has to go to the bar or kitchen or whatever and do the deal then and there...(unless there is a response....)

Let's say it was a stagger-shock – which in Magic the Hammering is a 3 mana instant that says target player drinks a shot of red aftershock (or equivalent nasty shot) and then another one next round...)

So to cast it the player must drink 3 fingers of beer...

OK what about responses.?

Well there could be a number of responses.. Let's say someone counters it... Countering a spell or Magic the Hammering simply means he or she who cast it gets passed it... so if you cast stager-shock into a counter-spell then you have to do the shots yourself... (naturally the person countering must pay the mana from their land/pint... Spells like swerve or fog have obvious effects....

OK what about a sorcery? Well same as instants except you have until your next turn to drink your forfeit and obviously you can't cast sorceries out side your turn...

Creatures? Well in Magic the ~ hammering all creatures are 3/2's, have haste, but no other abilities (apart form a couple of mana producers like Birds of Paradise, but we'll get to them later )... Creatures can attack players for 3 fingers of booze or get in the way of an instant or sorcery in the same way players can use planes-walkers... You can't get an instant past a creature and any instant that targets a player will kill a creature......

Artefacts are many and varied and best explained individually...

It could be A flight bomb... (jager bomb to your opponent's face when you crack it)

An Elixir of Immortality – (a bag of crisps and a pint of water for yo while everyone else drinks 2 fingers...)

A Scourglass – destroy everything on the board except land/pints

Enchantments can protect you or hex your opponents....

Glorious Anthem – spells cost yo one less finger to cast...

Propaganda players have to drink 4 fingers every time they attack or target you...

Mana dudes... There are some mana producers in the game that can give you some help of hindrance depending n how you look at it...

Don't like beer? You may cast a Birds of Paradise – this is a special card an it has a forfeit (as many of the Magic the hammering cards do... )

A Birds of Paradise is an alternative source of mana in the shape of a cocktail (of your choice) however there is a catch... You have to ask the barman/maid for a birds of paradise by name and repeat it until eventually they tell you they don't know what it is.. You may then give them the ingredients to a cocktail of your choice... if they then say at the end “oh you mean a Black Russian!” or whatever cocktail you described, you must also have a tequila...

You are allowed to create your own version of what you think may be in a Birds of Paradise (oh and it has to have an umbrella, umbrellas permitting)

Please write n an let me now how you composed your Birds of Paradise.. if we get a really good one We'll put up some really nice Birds of Paradise as prizes.

Other sources of mana...

Llanowar Elf – gin and tonic

Silver Myr – a White Russian

Stteward of Valeron – An Alcopop

A Plague Myr – an absinthe

All mana dudes are also 3./2

Here's siome suggested Generals..There are like a hundred crap legends out there ofr £0.50 just search gatherer for legend.

Forgive me if there are any expensive cards in this lot.. but you should be able to get a rough idea of what we're talking about... so get your folder out and finder some fodder and we''meet you in Valhalla... Plus if you do decide to play this game please give your player's Gordon Vader's regards and direct them here (and click some banner ads while your at it... This Magic drinking malarkey doesn't come cheap...

So there we have the basic rules

There will now follow a series of cards that we have created of have been suggested please join in with your own editions... but please REMEMBER TO KEEP THEM CHEAP...

So in no particular order...

From – Peter Rodway –

Dark Ritual – one mana - target player gets 3 black sambuca (unfair? Yeah life sucks sets a helmet or a counter spell)

Counterspell - two mana - Drink yer own drink feck face - or counter creature spell

Negate – as above but it will only resolve if you wag your finger as you cast it and say Noo No No!

Swerve – redirect instant or sorcery to some one else

From James Tann

Birds of Paradise – for rules see above... (the umbrella was his idea too)

Marshdrinker - creature 3/2

Stinkdrinker Bandit - creature 3/2

Stinkdrinker daredevi - creature 3/2

remember all creatures are 3/2 so feel free to add any that are funny or seem relevant...

From Nicholas Alexnder

Flight spell bomb - When cracked target player has a jeager bomb

Hydroblast – instant –two mana - target player adds equal parts water or lemonade to drink of choice

Grapeshot -instant - two mana – target player takes a shot of wine (storm* more wine ok? good!)

From the halls of Gordon Vader...

Stagger-shock - See above -

Condemn – instant – one mana - target creature can kiss my hairy ass hits contoller puts it back in their deck and then drinks 3 fingers of their land

Giant Growth – instant – one mana – target shot becomes a double or target player drinks 4 fingers of the their land/pint

Capsize. - instant – one mana (4 fingers for buyback) return target permanent to its owners hands that player drinks 2 fingers...

Propaganda - see above

Glorious Anthem - see above

Honour of the Pure - two mana - enchantment - your creatures get +2 +2 but only if you say Strength and honour and salute every time they attack or block... other wise your opponents creatures get +2+2

Trial and Error – tow mana – instant - you are allowed to make a mistake in naming your general and their abilities or target player must repeat the name and ability of their general

Tragic Slip – instant – 1 mana – target player has to reapeat the name and details of the general belonging to the player to his/her left... if not they have to down their pint...

We have more cards to follow and I'll make a printable list of cards and forfeits soon, but there is enough here to get you going...We will also be offering up some altered art text shifted versions...

So if you decide to play Magic the Hammering please pass it on and direct new players here for new pointless rules and updates and feel free to submit your own ideas for card ideas... we are expecting the ist to grow substantially so keep checking back....

...And finally please click some banner ads cause beer and magic cost money, but clicking on the banners don't cost nuffin.... thanks.... you can also get most of these cards for like pennies from magic madhouse whose ad occurs just above my picture so that's a win win win....

Oh and naturally you buy your own drinks AND supply your own land...

Well its that time of year again... Dark Ascension is upon us....

2012-01-26T12:16:00.000-08:00

Appart from sounding like a dodgy goth night... We ask the obvious question is it any good and will it be fun or broken?

Well we'll have more ideas after the pre release, but here's what I'll be looking for... for long term projects at any rate....

This card makes me sad... but despite this I shall be doing all I can to get as many as possible on Saturday... It will be an absolute must for commander / edh and is frankly more wrong than snogging yer granny...

For those of you who don't speak foreign, it basically reads as... I spent £20 on this card so I can break the game of magic and labour under the impression that I'll look really cool in the process...or counter target spell
and play one that shares a type with it from your hand without paying its mana cost.. or in other words... sit smugly back with nothing but open lands and do nothing until you eventually get to 6 mana then win the game with what ever over powered uncastable bollox is currently doing the net deck rounds...It's not like drawing cards or digging is hard in blue... Well done... Wizards of the coast you have reached a new low....

Here's the actual text...

Counter target spell. You may cast a card from your hand that shares a card type with that spell without paying its mana cost.

and if that wasn't bad enough...

They've dropped this monster on us as well...

Curse of Echoes
Enchant Player
Whenever enchanted player casts an instant or sorcery spell, each other player may copy that spell and may choose new targets for the copy he or she controls.

No 1 pick for every EDH Commander deck from now on (at least in EDH it might be funny...)

Ok so we've gotten past the fun killers how about the rest of the field?

Well one might think that Wizards may have learned what happens when you make cards with flash back cards that cost less mana to cast from t he graveyard? Well like I asid you might think...

The whte mana here is almost not worth having.. I mean don't; get me wrong...in a black and white deck it would be even stroinger, but as a card that reads pitch me and get two 1/1 white fliers for my mono black deck it doesn't seem bad at all.. hell 2 flliers for 3 in mono white isn't horrendous...

Staying with white.

With old spethy still in the top decks this guy is a must have... and for any token deck... tap to add a 1/1 is nuts... this could get broken...

I haven't had a real chance to go through the cards in great detail, but in black there are a couple that jump out...

Ignore the basic reprint of master's call on the left.... I'm talking about the Tragic Slip.. there aren't many situations where -13 -13 won't save your neck and it's not hard to have something to kill in black... I can see this card getting some play....

and whether this bad boy sees play is a moot point.... I'm just glad it exists..
.

Increasing ambition is good too and double tutors in EDH are always good...

In red I love...

Card draw in red is tricky and add flash back and this is great...

For the Jonny Combo in all of us this could be a very quick clock...

Especially if you add it to

Increasing savagery 3 double green

Put five +1/+1 counters on target creature. If Increasing Savagery was cast from a graveyard, put ten +1/+1 counters on that creature instead.
Flashback
Ii mean sure its double green, but then we remember this...

See I'm at it already...

OK so I'll mention a couple more....

Ok so my favourite over powered monster is this... I mean how many abilities does a card need?
I can see this in the counterlash deck...I'm just glad folks don't like playing blue white control decks... Oh wait...

And for sideboard card of the set... I reccomend...(it's also good if you want to make enemies in EDH) or want to take up Legacy... These last two cards are going to go up in value

But the meta figher in me will always try and find some sneaky cheap way to win games and still have money for beer and my tip to this end is this curious little number...

I reckon this this jank rare is more playbale that in looks... I can see it in a red aggro deck with elements of control... It could save spent blockers and zapped attackers early game and late game there ain't much it won't stop... and that ulitmate could be a game winner...

update 26th... thanks to Brighton's James Tann for reminding me of this little bit of insanity....

http://magic.tcgplayer.com/db/magic_single_card.asp?cn=Havengul%20Lich&ref=hover

another top pick for saturday... How he'll do in sealed I don't know but in constructed he could be a gem...

And what about the Palneswalkers?

And I have to mention this geezer... I sincerely doubt he's going to keep the silly price tag because his abilities are just a little bit tame compared witth others....