tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-41574527028726206722025-09-04T11:55:43.067-07:00It's a bird! It's a plane! Nooo! It's the pinot-toting, profanity-using, bacon-eating, Jesus-loving Dysfunctional Supermom!!!Brandi C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06006214695841081745noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4157452702872620672.post-71635258045063541952010-10-26T18:23:00.000-07:002010-10-27T06:04:28.181-07:00

This will be my last post here. I am moving. Please don't be upset, or sad, or angry, or apathetic. Please come with me. It really only takes the click of a button after all. It's not personal, I just found a place that let's me edit my pics (which has actually become a personal part of my posts) and do some other really cool stuff. I love all of you. You have been amazingly supportive. I hope

Brandi C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06006214695841081745noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4157452702872620672.post-30164514311492264422010-10-25T06:12:00.000-07:002010-10-25T06:15:45.388-07:00

Some days you just want to knock life right the fuck out. Happy Monday.p.s. I'm taking the rest of the week off of posting to play with my real life. Don't worry though, I'll be back over the weekend to share the shenanigans of the week.B~

Brandi C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06006214695841081745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4157452702872620672.post-20797593766535635642010-10-23T17:03:00.000-07:002010-10-25T06:09:20.149-07:00

There is nothing quite like sleeping for seven solid hours and waking up of your own accord. No alarm clock. No dogs barking. Just your body letting you know that you are rested and the sun is up and you are ready to start your day.It is a beautiful thing.Or so I fucking hear.I remember Saturday mornings, as a kid, as the time when my parents were absolute about a few things:1. It was their day

Brandi C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06006214695841081745noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4157452702872620672.post-15262859264063845022010-10-22T19:14:00.001-07:002010-10-22T19:53:18.584-07:00

"It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are." e.e. cummings. I accomplished some very productive things today; including killing two snakes and digging up some old dead cat that was probably the beloved house pet of the previous owner of my home...but that's not what I thought about all day. My brain was stuck on repeat; asking the following question:"Are you finally what you

Brandi C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06006214695841081745noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4157452702872620672.post-77619057098420040242010-10-21T17:56:00.000-07:002010-10-21T19:02:02.180-07:00

In case you haven't figured it out by now, this time without Saint Jason is quickly becoming my self imposed therapy boot camp. If you are still reading, it's because you either care (Hi Mom.) or because you are some sick voyeuristic fuck who has nothing better to do with your time. (Hi Scott. Hahaaa!!!) Either way, I'm glad you're here. Truly.So, today's session deals with image (warning...this

Brandi C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06006214695841081745noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4157452702872620672.post-84334954213939022582010-10-20T18:40:00.000-07:002010-10-20T19:15:57.472-07:00

Ok, so today I realized a few things, and since I'm determined to get some decent sleep, I'm going to bullet point them:I need a fucking tutorial on Photoshop. I would love to be able to show you how this blog on Skirt! was featured for about 2.2 seconds on the national main page of their website today, but since I can't figure out how to get my screen print to show any bigger than Smurf size (

Brandi C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06006214695841081745noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4157452702872620672.post-32471763210182198542010-10-19T19:34:00.000-07:002010-10-19T19:56:53.588-07:00

I can't sleep. I'm very tired, but I can't seem to fall asleep. So here I am, day 2 of my bad ass all by myselfness.So...what did we deal with today? A migraine, a hole in my favorite sweater (which really didn't have shit to do with the overall situation, but sucked balls anyway).I took the kids to a fundraiser for Elena's elementary school at our favorite ice cream joint (and totally rubbed it

Brandi C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06006214695841081745noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4157452702872620672.post-23516926269948188182010-10-18T18:18:00.001-07:002010-10-18T18:42:34.929-07:00

*Image Source-http:// averysdrawings.wordpress.com So, in case you haven't figured it out by now, I'm a fairly pushy little cow. I would say heifer, but since I've calved almost a half dozen times now, that would be technically incorrect. (Please don't ever ask me how I learned that differentiation. Thank you.) Sometimes, I think that I'm just too much to handle and I say things like: "I think

Brandi C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06006214695841081745noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4157452702872620672.post-21598918967074623402010-10-18T08:52:00.000-07:002010-10-18T08:57:39.563-07:00

Saint Jason flew out this morning for Denver...he'll be gone for 10 days. This makes me a little sad because I'm going to miss him a lot. This is one of our favorites: there are some days when only Radiohead will make you smile again. Love you, babe.

Brandi C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06006214695841081745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4157452702872620672.post-44513293128772934842010-10-15T08:04:00.000-07:002010-10-15T08:34:29.908-07:00

I have a problem. Ok, I have more than one problem (read: issue, psychosis, etc.), but right now we'll just address one.I am sleep deprived. My body sort of finds itself in a constant state of twilight (and no, not the movie although, right now, that would fucking rock, because I wouldn't care if I wasn't sleeping).Sometimes I can fall asleep, but not stay asleep; other times, I can't fall

Brandi C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06006214695841081745noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4157452702872620672.post-9675700590486434452010-10-14T07:22:00.000-07:002010-10-14T07:29:53.007-07:00

Ian has a new word. He says it with absolute clarity and perfect articulation."Dammit."My life will never be the same. I have to stop cussing. At least out loud. My writing, however, is going to be absolutely profane. I'm sorry.Now is where you should jump ship if you are easily offended.Still here?Shit. Fuck. Balls. Cock. Douchebag. Son of a bitch. Motherfucker. DAMMIT!!!!!I'm going to go wash

Brandi C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06006214695841081745noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4157452702872620672.post-34094522648076573102010-10-13T07:29:00.000-07:002010-10-13T08:32:07.262-07:00

This morning began like any other. Alarm went off at 5:20 and I hit the snooze for ten more minutes of much needed sleep, which I didn't get because I lay there thinking of all the things I really need to accomplish today. I get up at 5:30 and hit the shower, get dressed, gather the kids' crap, and it's time to wake Elena.Well, shit. This can't be good. She looks and sounds like The Swamp Thing

Brandi C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06006214695841081745noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4157452702872620672.post-21724971492384750682010-10-12T07:24:00.000-07:002010-10-12T08:45:06.910-07:00

I have a wicked case of writer's block, so I apologize in advance for whatever comes out today. (No, this is not me. I am not this cute and my house is not this clean.) This post will also be full of as many pics as I can possible put in order to satisfy my idea of substance since I'm pretty much fucking useless right now.I was going to write this weekend, but the weekend SUCKED, so I didn't. I

Brandi C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06006214695841081745noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4157452702872620672.post-50533290360157113532010-10-07T10:03:00.000-07:002010-10-07T10:49:56.494-07:00

Ok, so maybe, not exactly.I mean, really, the best day ever would be me sitting on the veranda of my beach side home, watching the surf as I soak my feet in a tub o' the cash I just won in the Powerball drawing. It might also mean that I have a Pinot I.V. hooked up and that I'm typing on the new fold out Funbags Laptop I just had installed in my chest cavity and am thoroughly enjoying the fact

Brandi C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06006214695841081745noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4157452702872620672.post-3280738604745500242010-10-06T09:56:00.000-07:002010-10-06T10:25:07.138-07:00

(photo from Perpetually Peeved) I'm in the middle of trying to convince Saint Jason to start his own blog. He's a pretty fart smeller and, no doubt, has a shit ton of fabulous things to say about yours truly. However, like most men, he must be stroked and fondled into doing what it is asked of him. All my male readers (yep...now have some, hooray!) know exactly what I'm talking about. A little "

Brandi C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06006214695841081745noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4157452702872620672.post-48636580074141906922010-10-03T14:04:00.000-07:002010-10-07T10:03:04.039-07:00

I love Facebook. A lot. Like...a lot, a lot...and for many different reasons; but mostly because I find a treasure trove of comments from friends like the following:"Chloroform is a highly under-utilized parenting tool." (S.P.F. I heart you!)It's like having your dope dealer give you free samples just to keep you coming back. Well, FB dealers, it's working. It's also a great place to share the

Brandi C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06006214695841081745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4157452702872620672.post-11758995396124559472010-10-01T05:03:00.000-07:002010-10-01T05:43:54.441-07:00

Today is October 1st. "Duh," you say. What you don't know, is that my daughter has been petitioning Congress, NATO, the United Nations & Hallmark to officially change the name of this fabulous month to "Elena's Fantastic Month of Birthday Celebration" since she was born seven years ago. I blame this on her grandmother. (Not my mother...her father's mother. The one who purchased & brought her

Brandi C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06006214695841081745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4157452702872620672.post-59479483691529757232010-09-29T09:59:00.000-07:002010-09-29T10:22:33.715-07:00

So now, I have an audience of 6 (yes, I'm including myself & my Mom). Woohoo!!! Sooo...my dear, much appreciated fan club, I want to share with you a warning. I can be a real pain in the patootie. Almost everyone in my life thinks of me as a very loving, encouraging person; and, I do try. Really. I swear. But once I get home; not so much. :(Last night, after getting home and writing down the

Brandi C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06006214695841081745noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4157452702872620672.post-80150503953391489422010-09-28T18:25:00.001-07:002010-09-28T18:48:00.166-07:00

There is something just thoroughly annoying about being stuck in traffic behind a piece of shit Dodge Neon (no offense to the Dodge fans out there, but it really was a piece of shit!) and being forced to read the bumper stickers. "MEAT IS MURDER!" & "SAVE OUR CHILDREN-GO GREEN!" & "REAL WOMEN ADOPT CATS" and then, my very favorite..."I'M A WICCAN PRIESTESS"Ok, so let me just address a few things

Brandi C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06006214695841081745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4157452702872620672.post-20474480151858666642010-09-23T08:31:00.000-07:002010-09-23T08:56:47.651-07:00

I'm new to this blogging thing-and not ashamed to admit it. What I am ashamed to admit, is that I'm a total f'ing MORON! If you are a blogger, you may already know that your blog hosting site offers you the opportunity to check your "stats". Meaning: you can see if people other than you and your daughter's stuffed animals & your "loyal to a fault" boyfriend are actually reading what you write. I

Brandi C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06006214695841081745noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4157452702872620672.post-60295212563793659432010-09-22T05:42:00.000-07:002010-09-22T06:17:22.200-07:00

I love other bloggers. I love The Bloggess, Jenny (she's my very favorite because she tickles my nether parts). And then there's Aunt Becky @ Mommy Wants Vodka. Funny bitches y'all. There are others, lots of others and I love that they make me smile and laugh (and piss myself); but mostly I love how they inspire others to react & respond. Sometimes...ok...a lot (I know, I'm pathetic, but you can

Brandi C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06006214695841081745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4157452702872620672.post-5855315267653115702010-09-19T06:56:00.000-07:002010-09-19T07:15:58.811-07:00

One of the things that Jason brought into my life is a budget. Yes, I used to manage my money just fine, but he took it to an entirely new level: my weekly budget for EVERYTHING is planned out in this really effin' cool Excel spreadsheet that includes a checkbook register and all y'all. Like for the rest of the damned year. Not even kidding. Included in that budget is a $25 weekly "Personal"

Brandi C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06006214695841081745noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4157452702872620672.post-28454121320719284952010-09-18T13:07:00.000-07:002010-09-18T13:39:04.826-07:00

It has been a real beotch of a week y'all. Not even going pull punches there. Some momma & baby drama (my own), strep throat (again, mine) and out of nowhere today...just when I'm starting to feel a little calm again, my freakin' father calls. WHAT. THE. HELL!?!Very brief back story...my dad is a retired military man. But that's not his issue. The issue is not that he cheated on my mom, or my

Brandi C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06006214695841081745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4157452702872620672.post-90261534595104654312010-09-11T14:19:00.000-07:002010-09-11T14:31:44.398-07:00

"For every time there is a season and time for every matter under heaven." Today has been a day. I have dropped off my youngest children to my (2nd) ex-husband, texted with my second youngest son Cale via his new cell phone. I've also spoken with my older step-brother whom I've not spoken to in over 8 years. And did I mention that my newest FB page has proven to be a place of "finding middle

Brandi C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06006214695841081745noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4157452702872620672.post-35648482174329213102010-09-10T19:21:00.000-07:002010-09-22T06:22:35.760-07:00

Ok, so maybe we're not so happy and not so "fat" but whatever. F@*k it. Either way, we're committed. So there. I've decided that being "morbidly obese" is not my cup of tea. Although, let me just say for the record, that all the research I've done shows that the classifications of obesity are based mainly on waist size and I have a fairly small waist for my 199 lbs. so therefore I say "BULLSHIT"

Brandi C.http://www.blogger.com/profile/06006214695841081745noreply@blogger.com0