A Work in Progress

Because Chibi Asked

2012-02-12T16:37:00.000-08:00

Chibi posted her answers to 11 questions and then tagged several of us to answer HER questions. I had been looking for an excuse to blog again, since it's only been almost three months. This seemed like a safe way to jump back in. I hope to have a couple more posts up soon.

1. What colour are your underwear right now?

Blue

2. What's your least favourite food?

Rice. Or bananas. Probably bananas, I can, on occasion, accept a bite or two of rice. I cannot, ever, open a banana.

3. Does it bother you when I put extra letters in my word? Well, too bad: I'm Canadian, eh?

Not even a little bit bothered. I like your extra letters.

4. How do you like your eggs?

Over medium. With ketchup, bacon and toast.

5. What book are you currently reading? Should I read it?

I just finished Bossypants. It was good. Right now, all I’m reading is a lot of teacher stuff. It is boring, you should not read it.

6. Did you have an imaginary friend? What was his/her name?

I did. I cannot remember her name. That makes me a little bit sad.

7. What is your guiltiest pleasure, keeping in mind I'm Prudy McPruderson, Mayor of Prudeville?

Chocolate? Coffee? Ridiculous TV shows?

8. If you could have any job in the whole wide world, what would it be?

Fourth and fifth grade teacher. Which conveniently it looks like is probably going to happen next year. So that's awesome.

9. Do you watch Toddlers & Tiaras?

I have, but I don’t have cable and haven’t seen an episode in ages.

10. What CD is in your CD player? (Do you still have one of those? If not, what was the last song played on your MP3 player? Should I be listening to them/her/him/it?)

Tim McGraw’s Emotional Traffic. I have been listening just about nonstop since I got it. I love it all. Especially Hey Now and Only Human.

11. Shoes: off at the door, or wear 'em through the house?

I take them off. My parents do not.

#OpEleanor Week 2

2011-11-09T21:21:00.001-08:00

Last week there were definitely some challenges. And although these may not all be "fears" for everyone, in the moment I could have reacted in a much more negative way, so I'm counting them as successes.

Twitter screenshots each day made it easier to compile the post, and I could have easily just posted them without any explanation. I decided that my challenge to myself to write called for writing (imagine that!).

I am so blessed and thankful for those on Twitter who each day have supported me, even with a simple good job/hug/comment after seeing my Operation Eleanor tweet(s). It makes this project that much more doable to know that you have support!

Sunday -

This could be the theme of my week really. I can't describe the homesick I've been feeling. I didn't used to understand what people meant when they said they missed "home" so much it hurt. I get it now. It doesn't help that the job situation is challenging and I feel as though I'm failing. I need to remember that when I came back here in August, I kind of expected that things might not work perfectly and I would need to head "home" in November/December. I just wish I could catch a break and something would work out.

Monday -

And then, 10 minutes ago, I just gave a link to this blog to a "real-life" friend. That term is so weird now, since most of the people who read here I've now met in person. And the ones that I haven't probably know me better than people who only know the 'off the Internet' me, really.

Tuesday -

Huge breakthrough. Too bad it didn't last.

Wednesday -

80% of my closest friends are parents. Why is a Bible study where all the other women are moms so hard for me? It's not like I can't respect their concerns, but I definitely have a hard time relating. And because of that I've gone 3 times out of 7 weeks. I'm going to try to be better, at least as long as I can stay here.

Thursday -

We had prayer/worship night at the small group I attend. I am TERRIFIED to pray aloud. I don't know why, except it goes well with the painfully shy thing. I was rehearsing in my head, I was ready to speak up. Then the prayer ended. And I was relieved. Someday I'll break through that. Someday.

Friday -

It didn't help that at the beginning of the trail there were about a million warnings about bear sightings. We didn't go much farther than that, and I went after her as soon as I took the picture. She definitely liked exploring and made observations that she couldn't wait to share. The parking lot was scarier. She went about five cars farther than me to get something that we'd left. I was okay-ish until a man walked quickly by me towards her/my car/his car/I don't really care. I definitely went to her again. But letting her take those steps is necessary and important.

Saturday -

K and I had a girls weekend, including her first viewing of The Princess Diaries. She loved it. I was struck by the quote "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." I tweeted it. With at least one error (judgement/judgment??). It was retweeted, at which point I saw the error for the first time. Usually this bothers me, a lot. I'm too worried about what people think about me. Last night, I decided that I was human. Errors are a part of life.

Sunday -

I was feeling crummy this afternoon. Probably because I told my mom that I feel like I have to give up. And then she told me that crying isn't okay, as she always does. I was ready to eat dinner at 3:30 and crawl into bed. A friend from small group sent a "who's up for game night" text at 4 and I decided to join. There were five of us and we played a couple of games. Most of the others I knew, but even then group settings can be HARD for me. Not tonight. I'm so glad I made that choice. (Plus, I won't be awake at 3am this way!)

#OpEleanor Week 1

2011-11-05T19:34:00.000-07:00

I have to admit something here.

I want to go home. I feel like a failure. I feel like this "experiment" may have been a HUGE mistake.

This feeling is stronger on Saturday nights when I sit home alone, that's for sure. This feeling is stronger because this was a really hard week, but it was here last week too. This feeling is stronger when I'm asked if I want to donate to the food bank and all I can think is that I can't even really afford the food I'm buying for ME so I can't help. Little things are bothering me and I just want to be home. I don't even really know where home is exactly, but the four days I spend with my family may or may not help at the beginning of next month.

I joined Operation Eleanor this week. Eleanor Roosevelt said "Do something every day that scares you." Megan/Undomesticdiva challenged us to do something every day for 30 days, for November. This week was full of moments that could count.

Tuesday: I took over a classroom. Of out of control second graders. I keep being told that I'm doing well and that there is definite evidence of change. I'm not sure I believe it. I sent a child to the office five times on Tuesday. I didn't have five office trips last year when I had my fifth graders.

Wednesday: There was six inches of snow on the ground. The day before had sucked. I didn't want to get out of bed. I did. I call that success for this experiment. I also drove to work without slipping a single time, so I felt quite accomplished. I had 10 students absent, the day went decently well.

Thursday: I sat at small group and played games without once checking twitter. I fall back on Twitter a lot and I know it. It's nice to know it's there to catch me when I need it and when I'm overwhelmed in settings which is more than I care to admit.

Friday: I started my day with a parent meeting. Parent meetings as a teacher are scary. Parent meetings when you've taken over a classroom three days before are terrifying. I don't know what, if any, difference it made; the day was hard. I finished my day by doing another thing that scares me. I went to dinner by myself. As much as large group social activities cause me stress and anxiety, so do on my own outings to restaurants. I have no idea why but it is what it is.

Saturday: Today started with a baby shower. As if those aren't scary enough, this was a baby shower for a friend from high school. Who I hadn't seen in nine years. There wasn't a single other person I knew. I survived. I almost chickened out five times this week. I knew I needed to go and not just because of this project.

To some extent, I think writing here has gotten scary. I don't know why, but I don't even click on the blogger link anymore. I need to overcome that. I challenge myself to take this month to write more. I know it's good for me, I know it's healing.

I'm excited to see where this month goes. I'm also terrified.

If you'd like to join Operation Eleanor/#OpEleanor - check out Megan's posts here and here. Or, just do it. There are no rules really.

Boy toys vs girl toys.

2011-10-13T07:45:00.001-07:00

Typing this on my phone- I apologize now for any errors.

I don't normally write about things that happen when I'm subbing, partly because I've agreed to confidentiality and partly because it comes and goes so quickly that it doesn't always make a lasting impression.

However, yesterday was an exception. I was in a classroom of children with severe special needs and one of the children brought a toy to school. This little boy brought a toy that would typically be considered a "girl" toy. He was fixated on it and wanted it all day; when it was missing he would ask to have it back. That was annoying, yes, the constant "I want my toy!" over and over. But it was also bearable.

The part that got to me was that one of the aides in the classroom kept telling him that because he was a boy he should be playing with "trucks and cars" and not this "girl toy". That was far more annoying than him asking for his toy.

I don't understand what the big deal is. If the rule is no toys, that's fine and I can accept that (it is, but apparently this child has been given special permission from the teacher). However, why does it matter what toy a parent allows their son to play with?

Brief Update

2011-10-03T18:13:00.000-07:00

I open this window and close it often.

I figure no one wants to listen to me whine, and life has been challenging lately.

I am finally working. Not at the job I thought I was going to have upon moving to Colorado, but that's a long story that I'm not writing about right here, in this space, just in case.

I love being in the classroom. I am adjusting to a new school district and new curriculum as quickly as possible and I think it's going to be good. I also start a second job in a couple weeks. This on top of babysitting and nannying as often as possible.

I know things will work out.

I'm helping in Sunday school this month. With fourth and fifth graders because there was a need. And we all know how I love my fourth and fifth graders.

I'm attending two Bible studies a week. One I love, and one that has way too much homework. I don't know if I'll last in that one, but I'm not going to give up yet. I'm just probably not going to have homework done very often.

I went to the mountains finally last weekend. It was a blast and we saw a ton of elk and got caught in a snowstorm. All things that one must experience in Colorado in the fall. I want to go back to a different area soon and take pictures of the aspens before the leaves are gone.

For now, that's all I've got, mostly because I'm hanging out with K and B, helping with homework and to prepare dinner. I will attempt to be better at updating more regularly.

Heelys Review

2011-09-14T09:05:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago (I honestly am not sure if it was before or after my first trip to Colorado this summer), Heelys sent me a pair of Wave shoes (well, actually, I got to choose a pair, and if you didn't know, purple is kind of my favorite color).

Along with the shoes came all kinds of resources in order to (safely) wear/use them. I am a procrastinator at times. And can be very afraid of trying something new, so it took me a while to unpack them and put them together.

The shoes do not ALWAYS have to have wheels. This is important to know, especially if you live somewhere muddy, wet, snowy, etc. When they arrive at your house, they have "plugs" in the holes that the wheels pop into - they come with the tool you need to pop out the plug and insert the wheels.

I have to say I was skeptical. When I originally agreed to the review, I figured I would order a pair that B could wear, try and tell me all about. Then they emphasized that they'd REALLY like for me to try them. So I did.

Shockingly, I enjoy these shoes. They are comfortable enough that I am willing to wear them regularly. Conveniently, I ordered a pair that match the Rockies colors, so not only do they match my wardrobe (I own a lot of purple), it feels "spirit-y" to wear them. I'm far from proficient with the wheels, but it's definitely fun and I enjoy the challenge - the fact that I can do okay at all, what with my complete lack of coordination is impressive!

Heelys offers numerous resources to help you with the whole "there are WHEELS in my shoes" thing. Check out some videos here!

You can follow Heelys on Twitter or on Facebook.

I received a pair of Heelys shoes in order to facilitate my review the Business2Blogger. No other compensation was provided and all opinions are my own.

Baby Sign Language as a progression to verbalization

2011-08-14T09:47:00.000-07:00

This is a guest post from the people at babysignlanguage.com. I've never had a guest post before but liked the idea of encouraging sign language when working with young children. We used sign for the first several years of K's life and if we hadn't communication would have been next to impossible. She started speech therapy at two, finally exiting the program at eight. In that time, we learned countless signs, and I find that even now we still use them at times.

Working with children takes a special heart – it includes a love of learning, teaching and a passion for little people. At babysignlanguage.com, we are most passionate about those little people’s hands. We love when those tiny fingers learn to grasp the rattle, cringe when they start pulling hair, laugh when they begin playing peek-a-boo; and we smile really, really big when those little hands start to sign.

Everyone is a work in progress; and children depend on their parents, caregivers and teachers to help them in their progression to verbalization. Sign language for babies is one tool to promote the progress of language development. Babies who learn to sign have larger vocabularies and experience less frustration because they have a tool to bridge the gap to speaking.

When baby is first learning to speak and both ‘Daddy’ and ‘Dog’ sound like ‘Da,’ using the associated sign gives clarification. It is also encouraging to babies when they can communicate their needs, wants and feelings. Since cognitive understanding develops before speech, learning to sign fosters a sense of joy and accomplishment as baby gains independence with the ability to communicate.

Even as adults we continue to learn and progress. And let’s face it; we will always be trying to figure things out. But when you think about the transformation a baby makes in just the first year – from a completely dependent newborn to an increasingly independent toddler – the rate of progression is amazing! One could argue we figure out more in the first year of life than in all the years to follow.

Children soak up knowledge and baby sign language allows adults to communicate earlier than ever. How do you begin such a journey? The how to start signing with your baby section on babysignlanguage.com would be our recommendation. And to keep you going strong, we have an ever -growing baby signing video dictionary, wall charts and other teaching resources all at your fingertips online. You’ll find all you need to teach your adorable little sponges about the world around them, giving them a head start on language and all the aspects of learning that language unlocks.

All That Matters

2011-08-05T10:59:00.000-07:00

I leave in a week. It's going to be a long week if last night was any indication.

We all know I was supposed to coach youth cheer, right? That goes way back to a promise I made at the end of this post (which, yes I know I've now linked to that post like five times. I'm kind of proud of it.)

Well, last night was supposed to be my last cheer practice, not counting the BBQ tomorrow. The level of drama and two parents ready to pull their children makes me question what is best. However, I need to do this for ME. The Colorado me is so very different than the me that I am when I am "home". So much healthier and happier and outgoing. The opportunities that are presenting themselves are ones that I would regret not taking, even if they fail.

And then, I realize the people who are being awful about the leaving? Don't matter. They're the ones who don't know me and know how hard I work and how dedicated I am to being the best that I can possibly be. They don't know that leaving this town, these schools and these children will be hard for me. Harder than I can describe. They don't care about the fact that I had tried not to publicize that I was in fact leaving because I need to be able to say goodbye to a couple people first, rather than having them read something on Facebook or hear the rumor from someone in town.

And if people can't respect that? They are obviously not the ones who matter in my life. I know that when I get to Colorado I have K and B, their mom, grandma, aunts. I have Katie and Scott and Violet. I have the church group I started attending this summer. I have friends to hang out with in Boulder as well as in Denver. I have people who care. People who won't be disappointed in me if something falls through or if I cannot be there for every little thing.

I wish I had that here (and there are some, but right now the pushing away feels far stronger than the encouragement). I'm excited to see where the next 3 or 6 or 12 months takes me. I am confident that I've made the right choice. And that's all that matters.

Crossroads

2011-07-27T22:39:00.000-07:00

I'm at a very interesting crossroads right now.

I applied and interviewed for what I was sure was the perfect job in Colorado. And I was very disappointed to not get the job. I interviewed the same week that my summer school position ended and I was scheduled to drive back home.

Nothing in me wanted to make that drive home. And when I found out that I didn't have the job, that drive was even more difficult.

However, I was told that they would like to use me as a regular substitute in their school. And I couldn't really see any reason to not take the offer. So, I applied to sub in the district. And heard nothing back. Right now, I don't know whether to start packing with the intention of being back in two weeks or not.

To make this decision even better, cheer camp started this week. I am loving every second of coaching, and I don't really want to have to tell these girls that I won't be continuing as their coach, even though they all know that is a definite possibility (see also: I should have listened when a friend said maybe going to camp wouldn't be the best idea, it gives me too much incentive to stay).

I don't know what's going to happen. I don't even know what I really want to happen. On one hand, the opportunities in Colorado (and there are a LOT, in many aspects of life) make it hard to want to stay here. On the other hand, this is my town and I can't stand to let people down or go back on what I say.

Hopefully everything will straighten out soon, so that I know what to do with my life for the next week.

Two Years

2011-07-12T14:22:00.000-07:00

Last year, I wrote this. It is amazing to me how far I've come in the last year.

Two years ago today, my aunt died from breast cancer. It has changed who I am in indescribable ways. I finally spoke to my cousin's family a couple months ago, but not my cousin. What do we say to each other, when our biggest connection is gone.

Normally, I go to Canada every second year. I cannot fathom that trip without her there. And so, this year does not include that plan. I am okay with this, mostly. But I probably should get over this feeling before my grandparents pass away. It's not fair to them that I refuse to visit because their daughter is gone.

Today, I've not cried, not yet. I had an interview this afternoon. A potentially life changing, oh please let me have this job interview. I think it went well, but really? How am I to know for sure? My aunt always told me that I had to send her a picture of me with my first class. Who will I send that picture to now? I knew I couldn't fall apart until afterwards, and I didn't even attempt to start writing until I got home from the interview.

I can honestly say that I'm doing well. The insomnia that hit when she died and the constant anxiety is gone. I still have rough days, but they are few and far between. I think of her often, but can talk about her without tearing up every time. Mom and I have had a conversation and referred to her, and ended up laughing through our tears, a much better way to be than the mention of her name making us unable to speak.

Two years ago, my world changed. I will never be the same. But I am so very glad to be making it through each day so much stronger than the dark, dark days surrounding my aunt's death.

Girls for a Change

2011-06-30T21:30:00.000-07:00

The following is a post sponsored by Yahoo! Every time someone clicks here to make Yahoo! their homepage, they're showing their support for Girls For A Change.

I was selected for this opportunity by Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.

About This Campaign

Yahoo! will donate $10 to Girls For A Change (GFC) for each person who clicks here to make Yahoo! her homepage by July 1...up to an amazing $10,000! We're counting on you to help us find 1,000 people willing to make a change worth $10,000 to this fantastic cause.

About Girls For A Change
Clever Girls Collective selected GFC as the non-profit for this generous Yahoo! campaign because it matches our mission of empowering women to help each other. Clever Founder Sheila Bernus Dowd was a GFC volunteer and member of the advisory board, so we have first-hand experience with their commitment to helping girls become community leaders. Here's how they describe themselves:
“Girls For A Change (GFC) is a national organization that empowers girls to create social change. We invite young women to design, lead, fund and implement social change projects that tackle issues girls face in their own neighborhoods. GFC empowers girls for personal and social transformation. The program inspires girls to have the voice, ability and problem solving capacity to speak up, be decision makers, create visionary change and realize their full potential."

Why Should You Make Yahoo! Your Homepage? It offers...

Personalized content: The Yahoo! homepage delivers you the most relevant content based on your interests, time of day, and what’s most popular with other users like you.
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Human Interest: Articles on the homepage have a human approach – more than just news, it delivers human interest stories that you just have to click on.

In looking into the Girls for a Change organization, I could see many parts that resonated with me. It is an organization that empowers girls to work for social change. That is the reason that I decided to campaign during the 2008 election, that is the reason why I choose to work in high poverty schools. Making a change in the current social landscape is something that everyone should have the opportunity to do, but few take the steps necessary to participate.

Without the women in my life, from campaign leaders to co-teachers, I would not have the ability to make the change that I am hoping to accomplish. I whole heartedly support any organization that encourages individuals to work toward the change they want to see in the world. Girls for a Change does just that and you can help them! All you have to do is change your homepage to Yahoo! by clicking on this link.

Two weeks

2011-06-26T08:48:00.000-07:00

It has been two weeks since I left for my summer job. Before I left home, I was ridiculously busy. In fact, I had one or more activities EVERY afternoon for the last couple of weeks before I left. This made packing interesting to say the least, but I managed to get it all done.

Well, things apparently don't change in my world. I got here and promptly jumped right in to activities. Last Monday was simple enough, a trip to the mall and grocery shopping because having food is a good thing. Tuesday, a coworker invited me to lunch which was fun and a nice distraction.

Wednesday I had a photoshoot with a 3 year old and his 6 month old baby brother. It ended up being a photoshoot with the boys, along with their nanny's 4 year old and her other charge, a 4 month old little redhead. It was a blast and I was glad to visit with the family, who I hadn't seen since I was here in November.

Thursday night, I went out with my friend who lives here. A friend who I've known since she lived in Oakland and I was attending lots of games each year. She moved here several years ago and last year we went to see the Rockies and took a road trip to see the A's play in Kansas City. It was nice to catch up and visit what may well be my favorite bar.

Friday was baseball. Because it would be very unlike me to not attend a ballgame as soon as possible upon arriving in a major city. I went with a friend from twitter which was a blast. I have gotten way more comfortable with meeting new people, and going to a baseball game was probably the perfect setting for that.

Oddly enough I family that I've babysat for back home for a long time, who happen to be good friends of K and B's family were here for about a week and their parents had a bike ride on Saturday so I watched the kids. We went to the butterfly pavilion, the mall and for a picnic lunch at the base of the mountains. It was a long day with a lot of driving but it was also a lot of fun.

Sunday I attended a new church which I loved. It was perfect and welcoming and I can't wait to go back. In fact, I was comfortable right away and ended up attending their college and careers group on Thursday night. I can't tell you the last time I willingly attended a Bible study, but this is one I definitely will be sad to miss after I leave.

Week two was a little bit slower but not much - K and B came home Tuesday evening so it was nice to finally see them and take a trip to the pool, library and bookstore on Wednesday and Thursday afternoons. This weekend included a movie in the park with B and a BBQ about an hour and a half south of here.

I like how easily I fit into things around here, how easily everything just flows. I'm happy and relaxed which are two feelings that ~~often~~ sometimes escape me back home. I know that part of this is that everything is new and that things could change quickly, but I definitely could see my self living here long term. So for now, I continue the job hunt. Hoping for more success this year than last.

What would you do with your time if you found yourself in a new location? How self-motivated are you to improve yourself, with the new schedule you'd likely have? Check out Accredited Online College. Maybe you could get involved in an online counseling degree program, to learn ways you can help others.

Disclosure: I was compensated for inserting the above links into this post.

I've got nothing

2011-06-18T18:54:00.001-07:00

You'd think, having moved 1/3 of the way across the country this week, that I'd have something to write about.

But since if I start to write it will likely turn into a rant about how much my job isn't what I'd hoped for it to be and how much that is stressing me out, I think it's probably better to just not write for a bit.

I'll be back. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

Courage

2011-06-08T16:41:00.000-07:00

In October, I wrote about being sad that I was losing a student because his family was moving to another state.

Before he and his family left, we had a small party for his birthday and to say goodbye. Each child made him a card to wish him luck in his new school. (And a couple students "wrapped" up the foot off the chair that he'd broken as a gift, which caused much laughter).

I just received a message from his mother on facebook. She told me:

I cleaned out T's backpack with him the other day and in there were all of the cards the kids had made for him in (our state). I asked him why they were in his backpack, and he said for courage. Thanks for sending him off with courage.

He has carried those cards with him for SIX months. Every day. For courage.

When people ask me why I teach and why I strive to do well at what I do, stories like this will be my answer.

School's (almost) out for summer

2011-06-07T16:20:00.000-07:00

The school year is rapidly coming to a close and I feel as though I should document this year and how it has ended up.

You’ll remember that I spent the first half of the year in a classroom of fifth graders who provided me with an amazing challenge and changed my life forever. Without those kids, I would have been so very lost; they helped me through what could have been several very rough months. Instead, it took all of my attention and energy to engage them in learning every day.

They taught me so much more than classroom skills as well. Because of them, I attended many football games, basketball games and spent hours upon hours at the Little League fields. I wouldn’t trade any of those moments for anything (well, except possibly last Saturday and the coach who yelled at ME for not having information he needed…). Because of them, I will be coaching cheer in the fall. I cannot wait to see these children grow, they will be the ones that I attend high school graduation for, my very first class.

After an amazing semester in their classroom, the original teacher returned, which caused some interesting changes in my life. I ended up subbing almost daily and was offered a “specialist” position to close out the year. I started that position at the end of March and it has been interesting to say the least. I now work with fourth through eighth graders from four of the five schools in my community. Overall, I think it has been a successful couple of months, but there are many things I wish had gone differently. I ended up working at a school that obviously didn’t want me there. This was shown to me in having the classroom rearranged weekly, nothing but passive aggressive emails and my belongings suddenly missing. The saving grace is that the kids were great and I formed quite the connection with several of them.

This summer, I will once again be in Colorado teaching summer school. This year, I’ll have third graders, or rather, second graders going into third grade. The unit is difficult and the math was complex with going into fourth graders last year so I’m approaching it as a “wait and see” thing.

I have no idea what I’m doing in the fall, but that’ll come. I’ll keep applying for jobs in this dismal economy. I’ll continued to substitute teach. I finally started a photography website and business, instead of just taking pictures for friends. With any luck, I’ll corner the senior portrait market for the month of August and I’m discussing a couple weddings with friends and former classmates.

Overall, I’m pleased with how the year went. I don’t love that I had to leave a group of children who changed my life forever, but no one had any say in that – I can only imagine what the year would have been like for them if they hadn’t had to face upheaval in the middle of the year. I can only imagine the growth for me personally if I'd had an entire year in one classroom. It's the little things that add up to becoming a successful teacher. I can't wait until I have a full year opportunity.

Six things I'm loving right now

2011-06-02T21:23:00.000-07:00

1. UnderArmour ColdGear Fitted Hoodie - I bought a black one on clearance thinking it would be good for next year's football season, while I'm coaching cheer. I've worn it to every baseball game since it arrived, since we are in the midst of the winter that will not turn to spring. I love it so much that I bought one in white as well when I found a good price.

2. The Penderwicks at Point Mouette - I have used The Penderwicks as a read aloud in three classrooms now. I tried to use the second book as a read aloud with less success, but was still very excited to have a third book in the series. I love the sisters. They are incredibly fun to read about. And this third book may well be my favorite on the group (but you HAVE to read book 1 before you read book 3, the big surprise in 3 wouldn't be as critical without prior knowledge).

3. Kindle - I bought a Kindle a week ago. I cannot say enough about how much I love it. You need one. Even if you are SURE you don't.

4. Nikon d3100 - I finally started a facebook page and website for my photography (email me and I'll share the link if I know you - it's using my real first and last name so it's not going here). I bought this camera back in January. I've taken countless pictures with it and couldn't be happier.

5. Tamron AF 70-300mm - I used a giftcard to Amazon to pay for most of this lens. I was torn on what to buy but decided with the countless hours I've spent at the baseball fields that a zoom lens made sense. It definitely has a learning curve but I've started to get decent pictures with it and can only get better from here.

6. Crocs Kadee - I was disappointed when Crocs was out of stock in the shoe that my friend's dog chewed just months after I bought it last summer. However, Crocs customer service told me to try Kadee (via Twitter). I bought Kadee in Oyster. And then bought Kadee in Black. They are the most comfortable shoes ever. And they're cute and school appropriate.

What are your current must haves and/or splurges?

This post is completely unsponsered. However, in the interest of being completely honest, the links are all Amazon Affiliate links.

One good, one bad

2011-05-29T17:45:00.000-07:00

I've read several books in the last week or so. Some good, some okay, some bad.

After reading the Alexis book, I read a book called The Summer I Lost It. The description says "Kat is just like other fourteen-year-old girls. Except this summer, she's spending four weeks at a Health Camp . . . otherwise known as fat camp. Can she lose the weight she needs to be able to do the things everyone else does? Or will she let her body control her?" Sounds okay, right? Yeah. It wasn't. First of all, she doesn't go to camp - her parents won't let her. She DOES start going to a gym and develops a crush on another kid who's going there. I feel like the fact that the description doesn't even tell the truth is probably not a good sign. And really, as I kept reading I kept getting more and more annoyed. I understand that children need to eat healthier and that we have a problem with obesity in our culture. However, the way this book handles things left me thinking about the impressionable kids I interact with daily. The ones who WILL starve themselves to be thin, the ones that I have had many conservations with about eating. This book focused on counting calories and working out daily and while that's all fine and everything, I could see it sending a message to the wrong group of kids. Plus, it was boring. I don't often feel bored, but I could have given up in the middle. I kept going hoping it would get better. It did not.

After that, I had a bit of dread heading into my next book to review. This time I went with This Girl is Different. There wasn't anything about this one that I didn't like. It was well written, fast paced and interesting. The description is "What happens when a girl, homeschooled by her counterculture mother, decides to spend her senior year in public school? First friendship, first love—and first encounters with the complexities of authority and responsibility." I was impressed by the plot, the friendship, the relationships in this book. This is a book that I would love to add a copy to my library for higher level readers, there is some mature content, but done in an "okay for the 13+" crowd way. The main character, Evie, grabs your attention from page one and it's hard to put the book (or kindle!) down until you've found out what happens to her during her first year in public school, her senior year of high school.

I received review galleys from NetGalley for both of these books. This in no way influenced my opinion, other than introducing me to a couple new books. The links in this post connect to my Amazon Affiliate account, meaning I earn a few pennies if you buy through them.

Sometimes it's nice to share the love.

2011-05-25T01:33:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Trop50 for sponsoring my writing about fabulous bloggers. This year Trop50 is granting 50 Fabulous Wishes. Click here to enter for a chance to win $1,000 to celebrate a friend with a refreshing attitude about looking and feeling fabulous!

I have been blogging for five and a half years and reading blogs for much longer than that. In that time, I've stumbled across many amazing bloggers. Most of them are people who I've never met, but whose words kept me coming back. The opportunity to share with you five of my favorites; five bloggers that I consider to be fabulous, was one I didn't want to pass up. Of course, choosing only five is difficult, I have something like 150 subscriptions in my Google Reader. If I read something, I probably consider it to be fabulous - but I managed to narrow my list after much debate.

First, I'd have to say that Heather at The Spohrs Are Multiplying is fabulous. I've been reading what Heather writes for a little more than two years, and I cannot miss a day. Hers is the first I check in the morning, unless I'm up late, and then I read it when she posts at night. Heather is fabulous because she turned a life tragedy into a life changing event for many others. The way she welcomes me when I make to her town is just another piece of what makes her such a wonderful person.

Next up, I'll go with Issa. I've been reading Issa's blog since forever. Seriously. Several years ago, she had a blog and then it disappeared. And then she showed up again. Now, she blogs at Issa's Crazy World and is on twitter. Last summer, I got to meet her while I was living in Colorado for two months. She's one of those people who I know I can turn to when I need support - and she's got a blog that I love to read.

Chibi Jeebs also makes my list of fabulous bloggers, as much for her blogging as for her support of anyone who needs a bit of encouragement! Recently, she asked for "songs that make you feel encouraged" and put together a playlist with tons of recommendations. I love being able to turn to this list when I'm feeling down, even if 90% of the time I head straight for the same song!

And then there's Matthew. Matthew is the father of (almost 6 year old!) twins, with a baby coming soon. Like really soon. Matthew's was one of the very first blogs I read, and it's been fun to watch his family grow over the years. Last summer, I spent my birthday with he and his family at the zoo, which was a blast. The other day I made a comment about being on a "mommy blogger" list on Twitter and he referred to being considered an honorary "mom blogger" like he is, which definitely made me laugh. I can't wait to "meet" the new baby and read about the changes the baby brings to their home!

My fifth and final (for this post!) fabulous blogger has to be Kelly. She lives in Australia with her two children, one of whom K wrote a couple letters to last year and we exchanged video messages a couple times as well. I love the travel snapshot posts that she shares on Tuesdays. I am only disappointed that I missed her on her recent trip the US (in fact, she just returned home today!).

I have to say that choosing five bloggers to spotlight was way more difficult than I expected. It was hard to leave anyone out! Who are your five fabulous bloggers?

Don't forget to enter the 50 Fabulous Wishes contest for a chance to win $1,000 to celebrate a friend with a refreshing attitude about looking and feeling fabulous. I was selected for this Tropicana Trop50 sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do. I received compensation to use and facilitate my post.

Alexis and the Lake Tahoe Tumult review

2011-05-23T16:09:00.000-07:00

About a week ago, I discovered NetGalley, a website that offers pdfs of book to review, if you meet the requirements set out by the publisher. You can also choose to have the books sent to your Kindle, but since I don’t have one (yet!), I’ve downloaded a couple books to read and review on my laptop.

The first thing I noticed was that for the most part, publishers WANT you to read the books. I requested access to about twenty galleys and have only been denied two. I’m pretty sure I could tell you why on those two even, they were teen fiction and I wrote about being an elementary school teacher on my profile. It makes sense that they’d save the galleys for those with more interaction with the intended audience.

Anyhow, I just finished reading my first book from the website. Alexis and the Lake Tahoe Tumult. It’s part of a series called Camp Club Girls, and I’d have to say that I was impressed. It would be a great book and series to add to my classroom library at some point, or I may send a couple to K and read them with her this summer. I think that she’d enjoy the books.

The Camp Club Girls solve mysteries, and I have to say that even though I was pretty sure I knew who the suspect was early on in this book, there were enough twists and turns that I could have been caught off guard by the end. It was nice to read a mystery book intended for a younger audience that wasn’t so obvious that I wanted to give up half way in.

Alexis and the Lake Tahoe Tumult was fun too because it took the time to describe Tahoe and some of the things that make Tahoe special. To me, Tahoe is a getaway. Somewhere I go when I just need a break. The book described it accurately enough that I could picture where they were and what they were seeing/doing.

I was provided with a PDF copy of the book to read. This in no way influenced my opinion, other than the fact that I actually READ the book. Oh, and if you click and buy from those links, I might earn a few pennies. Which is always fun!

Hoping to Walk

2011-05-13T21:34:00.000-07:00

Once again, this year I signed up to do the March of Dimes walk in two cities, both LA and the one closest to my home. Our walk is significantly smaller (but then again, so is our city!) than the LA walk and far less organized, but will still be fun.

Tomorrow, we walk for Maddie. And Aubrey and Annie. And now, I'm going to add two more little girls to my list of babies to walk for. A friend's little girl who was born at 34 weeks and 3lbs just over a week ago. She is doing amazingly well, and should come home from the hospital next week sometime.

I'm also walking for the baby who is the reason I had my job for the first half of the year. She was born six weeks early with numerous birth defects. Her problems were exasperated by poor medical care and doctor error, leading to five months in the hospital, numerous surgeries and various medical problems that will likely affect her for the rest of her life.

But she's alive. And that's what matters. She lived because of research. Her life has had a huge effect on mine as well as the students in my former class.

However, at this current moment there are three huge obstacles standing in my way, threatening to stop me from walking tomorrow.

First of all, the weather is supposed to be pretty bad. We had thunderstorms all afternoon today, and by tomorrow night there's a chance of snow.
Secondly, the shoes I wore in LA (the shoes that were advertised as for "walking" and with money going to March of Dimes for purchase) gave me a huge blister that is definitely not gone.
Third, the knee that I twisted/tweaked/sprained back in January and kept reinjuring because I insisted on playing basketball with the kids (NOT smart!) is hurting again. Probably doesn't help that it was aching a bit and then I played basketball again, I apparently will never learn.

If all goes well, I'll walk tomorrow. But, I'm afraid that I'm going to fail on my commitment. And that is incredibly frustrating.

Little Things

2011-05-03T18:18:00.000-07:00

My students are amazing. I am so blessed to have them in my life. Even if at times I lose sight of that.

Sometimes my students drive me crazy. Sometimes I don’t know how I’m going to make it through another day, much less five more weeks. Sometimes I wonder how I’m going to handle field trips and report cards and packing and leaving.

But then sometimes, sometimes they blow me away.

This morning my seventh graders were chatty and giggly and not very work-y. They hadn’t seen each other in a week. It was reasonable that they needed to catch up. I kind of sat back and let them go, while watching to see that at least some work got done. As long as they were working on their project, I didn’t care so much about the off task conversation.

Half way through class, one of the girls spoke up. “I LOVE this class”. Suddenly, everyone was quiet. And then the comments kept coming. I was floored. I knew that they were enjoying class, and that they liked the fact that when they said they wanted to do Shakespeare, I bought materials to make it happen, but I wouldn’t have guessed that anyone would claim “love”, much less this student. Sometimes I wonder how effective I am as a teacher. This class? Helps me to see that there is so much more to being a middle school teacher than simply teaching a unit.

And then, my sixth graders came in the door. Between now and next Friday they will have no time in my classroom due to various other school activities. The outrage at that surprised me. “Why can’t we ever have a sub?” “Why does this class get cancelled?” I pointed out that I have NEVER cancelled. But I guess it was a problem before.

This is the same class that has two students who will walk in and tell me “530”, meaning we have a baseball game at 530, please be there. Today, the first student walked in and asked me “are you going to be able to come to our game tonight?” I hesitated a bit, because I really don’t want to sit out in the cold. The second student walked in and simple said “530”. I wasn’t even facing his direction, and everyone laughed. I told them I would come as long as it’s not too cold, and one of them told me that I have to be there.

Little things make my day. Baseball takes up way more time than basketball and football and it’s harder to be there at every game. But it’s important to them, so I will do my best.

Vacation!

2011-05-02T15:58:00.000-07:00

This weekend. Let me tell you about this weekend.

I drove to LA on Thursday in 7.5 hours. I should have taken that as a sign for what was to come. There was NO traffic for my entire drive. Well, except a bit on the 405, but really? Nothing I could handle. Traffic was not nearly as kind for the rest of the weekend.

Thursday, I got to LA at 830pm. Magda and I were at In-N-Out by 930pm. We then left the house at 1030pm to drive an hour away to see Heather (and Annie!), Greis, Nanette and Jen (and Katelyn!). We joined Heather’s mom and cousin and stayed up all night.

We stayed up all night to watch the royal wedding. Say what you want, but it was every little girl’s fantasy. I’m glad I didn’t miss it. There were princes, a "commoner" and carriages on TV. There were blue ring pops, purple tiaras and silver rhinestones in the living room. There was much laughter from everyone. And many silly comments that got sillier as the night went on.

Friday, we slept in, kind of. We didn’t go anywhere until noon. We had lunch at the beach at 2. We then took some pictures at the ocean. It was only the second time that I’d been to the ocean in many, many years.

Ladybug on a seashell.

Friday night, I went to baseball with my uncle. It took me 55 minutes to drive 18 miles. Nanette told me that wasn’t too bad for LA. I was thinking “in my world? 60 miles isn’t too bad in an hour...” I met up with my uncle and cousin and enjoyed a baseball game. My uncle apparently thought I was five. “Do you want peanuts?” “Do you need popcorn?” “Ice cream?” “Cotton candy?”

3-1! (Who is now 2-9, but that's not the point!)

I enjoyed the game. It was nice to see another ballpark, and a pitcher who I knew from when he was an A was on the mound, which was fun. However, I was beyond tired. I made it until 10pm, the bottom of the eighth inning and decided I couldn’t do it anymore. I got back to Mariah’s house (by the way? Mariah rocks. Totally invited me to stay last minute. And then I was all kinds of busy and hardly even saw her) at about 11.

Saturday morning, we were up early.

We drove to USC. We met up with wonderful friends.

We walked.

We walked for babies. We walked so that babies won’t be born early. We walked in memory of a little girl who was born too early. We walked with babies who were early and babies who were full term.

Babies made new friends.

Oliver didn’t appreciate Katelyn’s screaming.

We had lunch with the friends, at a table for many. The restaurant had an amazing dessert bar. Annabel was DEFINITELY interested. After breakfast/lunch, I said good-bye to the wonderful friends. I’ll be back next year. Maybe earlier.

I'll take one of each, please!

I went to visit my cousin. We shopped. We ate Chick-Fil-A. We toured her college campus. We watched a movie.

And in the morning, we got up and drove to the beach for church. It was fun and I’m glad that I stayed instead of leaving early to head home.

Point Dume, Malibu

Yesterday afternoon, I drove. And drove. For 8 hours I drove.

And then this morning, I woke up to go back to school. The end of a vacation is definitely less fun that the beginning.

Quick update

2011-04-26T19:31:00.000-07:00

I swear I consider myself to be a blogger. Even if I can only manage to blog once or twice a month. It still counts right?

Lately, I've been taking a ton of pictures. Enough that I found myself with less than eight gigabytes of space on my MacBook. I own an eight gigabyte memory card for my Nikon d3100 that I bought a couple months ago. (By the way? d3100 = amazing camera. I love everything about it. Could not recommend it more). The whole computer out of memory thing doesn't work, since I'm pretty sure I'm going to officially start doing photography on the side.

So yesterday, I bought a MacBook Pro. It's pretty and shiny and brand new. And has a TON of space. I cannot say enough about the customer service I received and the ease of transferring my information from one computer to the other.

To top it off? I got a free (well, will be free when I get the rebate in a couple weeks) and my mom is going to buy my old MacBook. It'll be perfect for her, since she doesn't taken 9 million pictures a year (or you know, 20,000 or more).

This is the perfect time to buy a new computer and deal with the transfer of data between three computers, since it's finally spring break around these parts. I have no plans for the majority of this week, which is a great feeling. No plans until Friday anyhow. This weekend I'm off to LA for the March of Dimes walk. It'll be kind of a quick trip, but will include a baseball game and hopefully lots of time to hang out with people I haven't seen in a long time.

Marching for #Maddie

2011-04-05T17:52:00.000-07:00

19 months ago, my best friend had a little girl. 3 weeks early. She had IUGR throughout the entire pregnancy and we never knew when labor might happen or how early the baby would be or how big. She weighed in at 5lbs. She spent 5 days in the NICU. Five long days. My best friend was lucky. She got to bring her baby home relatively quickly, but those five days felt like a lifetime. The baby is now nineteen months old and thriving. Her verbal development is amazing, she's climbing all over the place, she has a sense of style and an opinion on everything. She throws a mean temper tantrum. She's still tiny for her age and has breathing treatments almost nightly for asthma that was diagnosed at 6 months.

Five months before my best friend had a baby prematurely after a pregnancy full of complications, Madeline Spohr died. A beautiful 17 month old girl didn't get to turn two, or three. Because she too was born early. I didn't know her family at the time, other than through reading a few blog posts from her mother. After Maddie's death her family decided to find a way help others. They created Friends of Maddie, an organization that provides NICU support packs for families. Last year, my best friend and I delivered 24 of these packs to the NICU at the hospital where her daughter was born.

Last year, I met Maddie's family when I joined them for the March of Dimes walk in LA. I also met many other individuals who were touched by their story. This year, I'll be joining them again. It is an opportunity that I will not pass up. But here's where I ask for your help.

I set a fundraising goal of $150 last year. I raised over $300. This year I set my goal at $500, and I'm only about a third of the way there. If you could help by donating anything, even just $5, I'd appreciate it greatly.

Donate in memory of Maddie!
Donate honor of Annie and Aubrey!
Donate to remember that baby in your life who was born early, or the one that was born on time because of medical research!

Starting over

2011-03-21T20:02:00.000-07:00

I started a new job today. I started a new job today at the school that I attended for fifth through eight grade. The school where my name is on the wall as valedictorian. I honestly wouldn't have ever thought I'd be in those halls again. I would never have chosen middle school. I started a new job today, at a middle school, and I enjoyed it. I hope the rest of the week goes just as well.

I needed this.

I also started online coursework last week. I missed school. I was craving the chance to learn. And so, I spent money I don't have to work towards an endorsement that won't actually help me get a job probably. But I started grad school. I love it.

I needed that also.

Maybe with this new start, I'll have more to write about. We had to choose a piece of writing we were proud of and discuss the writing process we took to get to the finished piece. The only piece of writing I feel truly "proud" of? The letter I wrote to the football players. I want to have more of that. More writing I can feel proud of. I have never really felt that and have usually been too shy and reserved to share writing (I don't even pretend to claim that most of what you find here is of good quality - I'm okay with that, this is an outlet more than anything else).

For now? I'm off. To sleep and rest and hope that it really isn't going to snow because I would like to attend baseball tomorrow. But I will NOT be sitting in a snowstorm to do so. Not a chance.