ADVENTURES OF CAP’N AUX

Cap'n Aux Answers YOUR Q's - Part IV, 2.0!

2013-05-15T11:00:00.000-07:00

Here we go — our final round of questions!

Blog Reader Junior M. sent me a whole laundry list of excellent questions:

What are 10 likes and dislikes about being a pilot?
Oh, wow, that one will take a whole blog post! Good Q, I think I'll save it for another post!

What's your favorite airport to land at?
Probably DCA if we're doing the River Visual to 18, or JFK, if we're doing the VOR or visual to 13L. Maybe BUR as well. Those're about the only really "challenging" approaches left in our system. Not "hazardous" per se, but you have to pay attention! PVR, cuz that's my favorite overnight!

TEX (Telluride, CO), is one of my old favs', too, not only for the challenge...

...but also because it means I'm going skiing, or to the Telluride Bluegrass Festival!

How do you know what hotel you'll be at overnight?
That is planned months in advance by the Company.

Do you pay for it?

All our hotels are paid for by the Company. If we're traveling on our own, we can sometimes get nice discounts at hotels that we would stay in when we're working.

Let's say you have a week off. Can you go to Paris or another country in that week off for free or it has to be during your vacations?

Absolutely! Many people get into the airline biz for one reason: to travel!

But not for free. We buy "ID90's" or "ZED fares"—basically hugely discounted tickets on whatever carrier we need to get to that destination. But, it's all on standby. So, if flight's full, you get bumped!

I got bumped going to Thailand last year, and also this year coming back from Manila. But, that's a small price to pay for the freedom to travel the world on a shoestring!

How often can you bring family on flights?

Any time there are seats available. These days, not much! The planes fly pretty full any more, and you really have to plan ahead. If they get bumped and you're working the flight, you have to leave them behind!

Once, my newlywed wife got bumped in Vegas at midnight from my redeye flight. I felt terrible, as she was, at the time, quite naive about traveling, and she nearly panicked. However, she figured out how to deal with it—get a hotel room, catch another flight in the morning, etc. Suddenly, she realized she could see the world on her own . . . And I hardly ever saw her again, LOL!

This is something I'm really worrying about. Do most pilots go through divorces since they are barely home? I don't want the same thing to happen to me.

Sadly, that "time away" is a big factor in divorces. It played a part in mine. Statistically, I have no idea, but I would guess that pilots have an "elevated" (scuz the pun) chance of divorce. But, it just means that you and your spouse have to be aware of that fact, and work that much harder on your relationship.

Are you a captain?

Yes! I upgraded on the A320 in early 2000. I had also been a Captain for a year on the DHC-8 when my company had them.

Cap'n Aux's First Command! (Eh, pay no attention to my last landing!)

My first "Captainship" was on a Twin Otter for the Virgin Islands Seaplane Shuttle in 1988!

How can you change your bases?

Each company is different. Right now, my pilot group has only one base: PHX. After our merger, however, there will be many more opened up, eventually. I would like to stay in PHX, however!

What's your favorite part about a flight?

Hmm...I'd have to say the landing, just because it's the most challenging time. Especially if we have to shoot an ILS to minimums. It's just a really satisfying feeling to be able to use your skills. I also really love to say "Hi" and "Buh-bye" to the passengers, especially the kids. I finally tracked down some plastic wings (sadly a thing of the past) to hand out to them.

How do pilots stay up during long flights, and crossing multiple time zones?

It's a big challenge. Mainly you have to plan ahead and be well rested. Internationally, there are "IRO"s on flights—International Relief Officers, who fly the plane after takeoff. The Captain and FO go sleep in a bunk until landing time, then take back over from the IROs.

What do you think about doing PA's? Do you like them?

Love to do PA's! Although, I wish I were a better "comedian." Some pilots just have "the touch" to crack passengers up. I learned along time ago I get all tongue tied trying to be cutesie, so I stick with a (mostly) standard PA. Although I have to say I'm a fairly good "tour guide." I flew Grand Canyon tours for several years as one of my first commercial aviation gigs, and I had to entertain my passengers for 3 hours straight!

Have you ever been told you won't ever be a pilot? How did you feel?
No, I was, blessedly, always encouraged and supported. In my 6 years of flight instructing, I always encouraged the student, however poorly they performed. I only told a student once that he was "not a very good pilot." I said this SPECIFICALLY because he was very cocky, and as a result very sloppy in his flying! It "scared him straight," however, so it did the trick!

Can a pilot change the plane he or she flies if they don't enjoy the routes, don't like the style or feel uncomfortable flying it?

Yes and no. Each job comes with its own opportunities and restrictions. At a major airline, you normally have several types of aircraft, several bases, etc. So, if you are senior enough to change planes, you are welcome to bid for it—if and when a bid comes out. Normally, once you change planes, you are restricted to that plane for several years, to cut down on training costs of people jumping around too much.

When do you reference speed as a percent of Mach and when do you use knots?
—Roger P.
Note: Before I could answer this question on my Facebook page, we received an EXCELLENT reply to this by Peter F.—far better than I could have answered! So, here's Peter's reply!:
When pilots use knots, they usually mean indicated airspeed. Due to physics, the speed of sound, as reported in indicated, lowers with altitude, gradually approaching operational speeds of jet airliners. Some physical effects manifest when approaching the speed of sound, neccessitating that pilots are aware of the speed ratio to sound speed.

Airplane will usually change from "knots" to "mach" by itself when the time is right (depends on speed and some other factors), and it happens usually in high twenties (measured in thousands of feet). This altitude is sometimes called crossover altitude.
Thanks, Peter!

I have very much been enjoying the blog posts, especially readers Q's. I also loved the "Flight Gathers" video. Thanks for all your stuff. Just wondering how you manage your fitness while "on the road." Are you able to get in workouts? How do you do it? What kind of program do you follow? Or do you only workout when at home?
—Tyson P.
So glad you're liking the blog n vids, Tyson! Fitness on the road is a challenge, but not insurmountable. Certainly there are times when you work all day and have minimal rest at the hotel, so you can't always get in the best workout. But, nearly all hotels now have some semblance of a gym—some so-so, some excellent. And, if the weather's nice, I'll often run outside for cardio.

I did P90X a couple years ago. You can do most of the workouts right in your room. It also changed my habits for the better. I now take a food bag with me, packed with healthy meals and body building supplements like energy drinks and protein powder for post workout. My girfriend's also a comepetetive body builder, so she always challenges me at the gym at home!

Another great round of questions came from Ken McQ.,
a TV aerial cameraman in DTW, who's working on a degree at Embry Riddle. He was writing a paper on CRM (Crew Resource Management, see Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cockpit_resource_management) and asked me the following:

Are you familiar with the crash of Northwest Flight 255?

(Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Northwest_Airlines_Flight_255)

Yes. It was instrumental in forming the concept of "Sterile Cockpit" that is absolutely adhered to in the world's airines today.

Has CRM training changed or evolved much during your career?
Dramatically. I started this career when the general mindset was, "The Captain is God." Today, the Captain is an experienced pilot who is ultimately in charge, but also respectfully incorporates all his/her human resources--the FO, FA's, ATC, Company, etc., to safely operate the flight.
As I mentioned in Part 1 of this series, the perfect example of this evolution in thinking can be seen in the original Star Trek's Captain Kirk vs. The Next Generation's Captain Jean Luc Picard!

How are checklists performed in your cockpit? Are they paper or electronic?
For standard procedures, Paper. Checklists are read verbatim, and never "memorized," as it were.

If we have, say, an engine failure, an electronic checklist will pop up on the ECAM. But we also have a QRH (Quick Reference Handbook) and other printed resources with which to follow up all "non-normals" and emergencies.

Have the checklists changed much over time?
Again, dramatically. A lot of research on CRM, human error, and such have taken place in the last 30 years, and our checklists are direct result. They are simpler, more straight forward, and precise. We "Verify" the most important items ("Landing Gear - Verify, down, three green." "Verified - Down, three green.") This, "Verify" system, I believe, comes directly from NASA studies.

Is it always clear who's responsibility it is to complete the checklists?
Yes. The PNF (Pilot Not Flying) always reads the checklists.

Do you ever have to prompt the First Officer to complete a checklist?
Occasionally. Boredom, fatigue, distraction, and low morale can affect anybody at any time, and these are serious human factors that have to be overcome to get the job, however simple, safely done.

Do you have hard cues to perform the checklist, or is it something you do as part of a "flow"?
We have a "Triggering event", such as approaching 18,000' on descent for the "Descent/Approach Checklist.," or the FO pushes the T/O Test button (I'm on the A320), which then comes up "green." This is my signal to call for the Taxi Checklist.

Are you required to perform checklists using the "Challenge - Response" method?
To clarify, each checklist is a "Challenge - Response" format, but I think what you're asking is if we Read an item, then do it, then Respond. We don't to that method except in an emergency. ("Engine Master Switch - verify Off"...PF guards WORKING Engine Master, then says, "Verified," then PNF switches inop Master off, saying "Off.)

Are you ready for me to read the "BEFORE START" CHECKLIST?!

Normally, we have a "Flow then do checklist" type of format. It greatly simplifies, well, the "flow" in the cockpit. The Power Up cklist and Shutdown cklist are straight "Read and do." Read the line, "Batteries - On," turn the Batteries on, etc.

And, to wrap it up, a few more fun questions from Junior M.

My most recent celebrity: A pig named "Web" from Charlotte! Hmm....

Have you ever flown any celebrities?

I've flown many, but rarely known it until they left and the Flight Attendants told us! I've had a Tom Cruise here, a Britney Spears there. My favorite was former "Tonight Show" announcer Ed McMahon, who was a pilot in WWII and Korea! He marched right up to the cockpit and shook our hands. I told him, "You're twice the pilot I'll ever be!" (Note: Brigadier General McMahon passed away in 2009.)

My ultimate dream was to have Leslie Neilson stick his head in the cockpit and say his famous line from the movie Airplane!: "I just want to tell you both, good luck. We're all counting on you!" (He was known for doing just that!)

That would have made my career!

Sadly, Leslie passed away in 2010 (see my blog post "Cap'n Aux's Ultimate, and Ultimately Shattered, Aviation Dream" http://capnaux.blogspot.ca/2012/01/capn-auxs-ultimateand-ultimately.html)

What was the funniest thing that happened to you during a flight?
Great Q! We're always pulling pranks on the new flight attendants. My favorite is to type "Large Rodent Loose in Cabin" into our MCDU computer scratch pad, and then bring her up to show her the message. Then we switch to the hydraulic page, which shows the word "RAT" (for Ram Air Turbine). Then we send her in back with a trash bag to catch the critter!

My April Fool's day joke backfired when, during the flight, I made PA's about our progress toward LAX . . . although we were going to Vegas! The FA's went nuts, calling us and demanding we correct ourselves. They finally begged us, as one little old lady was about to have a heart attack! It was then that I learned that, the voice on the PA is the voice of God!

What was your most memorable flight?

I'll never forget the time I flew three orphaned bear cubs from Haines to Juneau, Alaska, in a Cessna 207. Their mom had been killed by a poacher, and so the Alaska Fish & Game had to ship them off to zoos. It was bitter sweet, as it was sad that they had been orphaned, but such a cool experience to fly these three cubs! They were sedated, in cages . . . and they stunk to high heaven! Sadly, the poacher was never caught. So, I just had to write a fictional account of this episode in my novel, The Last Bush Pilots, wherein the bush pilots exact "poetic revenge" on the poacher!

My favorite was a ferry leg PHX-LAS, when I was able to put my wife at the time on the A320 jumpseat (pre-9/11.) I asked her if the flight "made her day," and she answered, "It made my life!" I'll never forget that!

Have you ever had any incidents on flights?

All the time. See my blog post, "Go Ahead, Make Cap'ns Day!" (http://capnaux.blogspot.ca/2012/09/go-ahead-make-capns-day.html)

AND FINALLY....

I SAVED MY FAVORITE QUESTION OF ALL FOR LAST....

Why are so many pilots mean but you're nice ?
—Junior M.

JUNIOR, YOU JUST CHARMED YOURSELF INTO A FREE SIGNED COPY OF "THE LAST BUSH PILOTS!"

Haha glad to hear I'm nice, but sorry others are so mean!

I think the past 20, even 30, years have been brutal for airline pilots. Very volatile. Many have lost great jobs and are back at crappy ones, if they're flying at all. So, understandably, they're bitter. Also the pay has come wayyy down—1/2 of what it was 30 years ago! So, I think the realities of this biz have fallen far short of expectations.

Conversely, I have to say that I have been extremely blessed in my career. As most pilots climbing up the ladder experience, my early years were very volatile. My paycheck looked like a yoyo for a good 10 years (up, down, non-existent, way up, way down!) Also, I was blessed to get a relatively early start at a company that was the sole surviving post-deregulation upstart airline! While I did spend a couple years on furlough in the early 90's, since recall it's been a relatively smooth ride. Nevertheless, while I have 15 years left in my career, I have no idea where I'll be even 5 years from now.

This business ain't for the faint-hearted!

That is why I always stress in this blog, the airline career is like a box of chocolates....

ENJOY THE RIDE!!!!!!!

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Posting May 27 @ 11:00 PHX:

A Memorial Day Special.

An Encore Presentation.
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Monday, June 3:

Blogging in Formation Week!
Posts all week beginning Monday, June 3!

This month's themed post: "My Most Memorable Flight"

Cap'n Aux post: Wednesday, June 5 @ 8am!

"Launch my career or die? What the F%^&* did I just get myself into?"

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100% OF ALL PROCEEDS FROM CODE NAME: DODGER, AND 50% FROM THE LAST BUSH PILOTS ARE DONATED TO CHARITY

Mother's Day Special Blog n Vid: Flyin' Mommas!

2013-05-11T08:00:00.000-07:00

#mothersday #avgeek #aviation #blog

Today we honor those daring young women in their flyin' machines!

This pilot biz is tough enough as it is. Wannabe pilots spend years of training and tens of thousands of dollars on the mere hope of a successful airline career. But, historically, this has been a notoriously "macho" business. From before the days of Amelia Earhart, "aviatrixes" have had to contend with that great glass ceiling in the sky—every single day they strap into the cockpit.

To that end, today we honor those women—many of them mommies—who have had a hand in this tough business. Some are pilots, some are flight attendants, some are "stay at home pilot's wives"...but ALL have overcome the odds to "make it!"

Karlene Petitt, over at "Flight to Success" (http://karlenepetitt.blogspot.com), is an A330 pilot for a major U.S. airline, and is a very prolific blogger and succesful author of the novel, Flight for Control. In her own words: "A wife of 31 years, mother of 3 gorgeous daughters, grandmother of Kadence, Miles, Khoyn, Carter, Ellis and Anthony. A pilot for 8 airlines, 7 type ratings, 2 masters degrees, and my 1st novel, Flight For Control, is published!" Mrs. Petitt is now working on the first sequel, Flight For Safety.

Just this past week on our wildly popular BLOGGING IN FORMATION series, Mrs. Petitt wrote about her struggles as a female dreaming to be a pilot, in a time when "girls don't fly." Read it here: http://tinyurl.com/bp534ye

Here's to YOU, Mommy Petitt!
—and, where do you find the time?

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Joanna over at "Daddy...Daddy, Come Back!" (http://comebackdaddy.blogspot.com/) and "Pilot Wife Healthy Minute Meals" (http://pilotwifehealthyminutemeals.blogspot.com/) blogs quite candidly about the life of a pilot's wife and mommy—warts and all. Her life is not for the faint hearted!

Happy Mommy's Day, Joanna!

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Another aviation blogger and mommy is the host of one of my all-time favorite blogs...Miss TWA of http://misstwa.blogspot.com. She's got a wonderful, zany, haphazard writing style that is sure to put a smile on any readers' face...

even if we all really do "Miss TWA!"

Happy Mother's Day, Miss T!

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And no aviation mommies' list would be complete without a salute to our intrepid "waitresses in the sky"—who in real life are highly trained and poised to save your lily a$$es in an inflight emergency—the Flight Attendant!

I would especially like to thank one of my personal favorites, Mary "Mug" Ann, who has been specially trained to serve ol' Cap'n Aux his coffee in a preheated mug! Uh, that is, as long as Cap'n Aux is nice to her first!

Between flying the often un-friendly skies and rasing her three rambunctious, twenty-something boys, Ms. Ann finds the time to be a competetive body builder—who consistently places in the Top 3!

Happy Mother's Day, Mary Mug!

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Mary Mug's eldest son, Gino, is the talented graphic designer of the excellent new cover for The Last Bush Pilots!

And speaking of the Last Bush Pilots, one of my readers' most beloved characters is a female "aviatrix" trying to cut a respectable niche in the notoriously macho bush pilot world—while escaping a dangerous past.

We'll wrap up this tribute to our favorite female aviators with her story:

(Warning: this story is seriously PG-13+!)

CHAPTER 8: Veronica Onassis Redding

The day her husband backhanded her into the china cabinet was not the day she left him. Nor was it the time he bragged to her of the many waitresses on his truck route impatiently awaiting his services. Nor the day he forced her to bare her breasts in front of his buddies to show off his prized property. Not even the time he threw his plate of roast turkey back at her for being too cold, sending her to the emergency room for eight stitches to the forehead. Afterward, she apologized to him for being so clumsy and inattentive to his needs, and he forgave her by mounting her briefly until getting off.
For Veronica Redding to leave her loving husband, it nearly took suicide.
Ever since she was a kid, Veronica dreamed of flying. She would sit on her father’s shoulders and stick her arms out to each side, blonde locks flying and lips Brrr-ing as he trotted through the park. When she was five, he took her on a small plane tour over their home town of Los Angeles.
Veronica was awestruck. All those cars below looked like toy matchboxes, the people like ants. The thrill of accelerating and pulling away from the earth’s gravity, like an angel flying to heaven. And, perhaps most thrilling of all, the powerful aircraft responded so obediently to the pilot’s commands. It was nothing short of magic. She trembled with delight when, after the flight, the grey-haired pilot pinned a pair of plastic wings to her blouse.
Little did Daddy know, from that day on the hook was set. Veronica was determined to become a pilot.
Later, Sergeant Robert Redding, U.S. Army, realized how serious his daughter was of the fool notion. He sat her down on his knee and explained.
He said, “Honey, girls don’t become pilots. All pilots come from the Air Force or the Army or Navy. There is no such thing as an airline aviatrix.”
“But what about Amelia Earhart, Daddy? She did it,” she said.
He laughed. “Sure, and look what happened. Her dingy, female sense of direction got herself lost at sea.”
At high school, guidance counselors, male and female alike, also urged her to reconsider her crazy dream and instead become something more palatable with society. Say, a homemaker or a nurse.
But their “sage advice” clashed head-on with her dream, and she would have nothing of it.
One night at the dinner table, the Sergeant learned of the counsellors’ talk and his daughter’s disappointment. He said, “Look, if you really want to fly, why not become a stewardess?”
Mother lay a hand on hers. “Your father’s right, dear. Who knows? Maybe you could find a rich husband that way, maybe even a real pilot.”
Shaking her head, she said, “I don’t wanna marry a pilot. I want to be a pilot.”
He slammed his fork down. “Enough of this nonsense,” her father snapped.
“Now, Sam,” her mother interjected. “Let’s not—”
“She’ll do what I tell her to do,” he said.
“Yes, sir,” Mother said meekly.
Veronica threw her fork down. “I’ll do what I want, goddamnit!” She bit her lip, too late to catch the slip.
Crimson-faced, the Sergeant raised up, his shadow eclipsing her small frame. He slapped her so hard she fell to the floor.
“Go to your room,” he boomed, “and don’t come out till you stop talking your idiotic little girl nonsense.”
Veronica sat at her vanity mirror, eyeing the welt as it grew and colored on the side of her face. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted the plastic wings pinned to the wooden frame.
Perhaps Daddy was right, she thought. Girls, especially stupid ones like little Veronica Redding, didn’t have the capacity to become pilots. She blushed in shame. She yanked the wings off, tossed them in the bottom drawer and mumbled, “Might as well try to be an astronaut.”
She became despondent, lost, a plane without a rudder. Her grades dropped. Each night she came home late, in deliberate defiance of her father’s authority. He spanked her, whipped her, grounded her; she would sneak out again. Each confrontation drove the wedge further between the two. After her high school graduation party, she didn’t come home until late the next day, still drunk.
“You’re impossible, young lady,” her father screamed between belt straps. “What you need is boot camp. First thing Monday morning, we’re taking you to the recruiters and you’re joining the Army. Teach you some discipline. Hah! Try telling them you want to be a pilot.”
That Monday, Veronica snuck out early, withdrew her life savings from the bank, and left. Plastic wings pinned to her backpack, she stuck a thumb out on the interstate.
She was seventeen, but a very naive and sheltered seventeen. She was heartbroken, scared, lonely. And strangely relieved.
Liberated, somehow. She could go anywhere, do anything, be anyone. Her destiny lay in the power of her own tiny hands. Remembering her silly old dream, she chuckled. “Hell, I could even become an aviatrix,” she mumbled with a roll of the eyes. But she knew she was too poor and too stupid. Daddy had made sure she knew that.
In a truck stop between Tulsa and Oklahoma City, her plans—and her life—derailed.
His name was John Bolt, and like his namesake, he struck her like lightning. He was tall, handsome, suave and worldly. He had traveled all over the States in his rig, and he made it sound as exciting as a flying circus.
Spellbound, she lost herself in his endless, dark brown eyes. From beneath a crop of slick black hair, they blazed at her with enthusiasm.
With one comment, he hooked her. He said, “Drivin’ a big rig’s like bein’ captain of an airplane.”
Bolt bought the starving, wide-eyed girl a slice of lemon meringue pie and reeled her in. He said, “You’re your own boss. You take orders from nobody. And you can go damn well wherever you please.” He sat back and crossed his arms. “Hell, it ain’t no big thing. Why a cute little missy like you could do it.”
Drive an eighteen-wheeler! So maybe it wasn’t an airplane, she thought, but it seemed the closest she’d ever get. That night she left with him.
In the same night, she learned to drive a big rig and please a man.
The next two months were pure bliss. Everything seemed so right. In Reno, days after her eighteenth birthday, Miss Veronica Redding became Mrs. John Bolt. His next road trip became their honeymoon, after which he moved her into his small Ulysses, Kansas trailer.
She called her parents to tell them the good news. Against her mother’s pleas, the Sergeant hung up on her. Abandoned, all she had left was her new husband.
But Mr. Bolt soon tired of the new Mrs. Bolt. He began leaving her at home on trips. And when he returned, his home never seemed to be in the order he liked. She could do nothing right by him. The young bride’s cooking was atrocious, he told her, and any decision on her part turned into disaster. He made sure she knew, both physically and mentally, that he had married a worthless mess.
For six years she endured his abuse. She couldn’t remember a world without John Bolt. Each time he left on a trip, she dreaded his return yet longed for it, never knowing whether he would walk through the door bearing flowers or fists. She filled the void of his absence with cigarettes and alcohol and food. Over the years, she loaded her thin frame down with pounds of physical and emotional baggage.
His trips became longer. Days went by without a phone call. Finally, after two weeks away without a word, he called to tell her he’d picked up yet another run.
“When will you come home?” she asked him, her voice pleading, her words slurred by vodka.
“Come home to what?” he snapped. “A fat, drunken pig in a stye? I’ll be back sometime next week, if I feel like it. Hell, I may never feel like it.” He hung up.
She flew into a blind rage. Minutes later, she sat crumpled on the floor in a pile of shattered dishes, broken ceramic statuettes and smashed bottles of booze. Through the alcoholic fog and the raining tears, she realized that, upon seeing the mess, he would kill her. Or worse, leave her for good.
Might as well spare him the pain, she thought.
She crawled through the rubble to John’s gun cabinet. With trembling fist, she pounded the glass until it shattered. She did not feel her sliced palm. When she retracted her hand, it held an ancient Colt .45 handgun, loaded. She put it to her head.
Everything went dark.
She was an angel now, her spirit flying away from her dead, battered human carcass, up through the roof and into the heavens. She looked down and saw John Bolt. He yelled at her to come back down, fists shaking above his head in rage. But from way up here, her husband’s voice sounded comically high. His rig looked like a matchbox, and he like an ant.
She woke up laughing. She had no idea how long she had passed out. Veronica looked at her hand. The glass cuts, while deep, wouldn’t be permanent. She stared at the pistol for one long minute. She again lifted it and aimed, this time at a photo hanging on the wall. A photo of John Bolt.
She pulled the trigger. The rusty hammer jammed. She looked at the gun quizzically. Suddenly, the hammer dropped. A loud explosion ripped through her ears. The kick knocked the pistol from her hand. Once again everything went dark; the bullet had hit the table lamp.
Her mouth, open in astonishment, slowly changed to a faint smile, then a larger one, then a Cheshire grin. The grin turned to a chuckle, then a laugh. She guffawed hysterically, rolling on the floor, her hands wrapped about her stomach.
She picked herself off the floor, walked to the bathroom, and showered for the last time in John Bolt’s home. She dressed the wounds on her hand, then dug through her junk drawer.
Finally she found it, buried in the back. Her most prized possession: her plastic wings. She pinned them to her chest.
She wrote him a ’Dear John’ letter. This note, however, read slightly different:

Dear Auntie Em,
Hate you. Hate Kansas. Left for Oz.
Dorothy

In three days she hocked his car, pawned his furniture, cleaned out his bank account and maxed every credit card with cash advance. That done, she took one final look around the wrecked and deserted home.
“To hell with you,” she said, and left for the farthest place from Kansas she could think of: Alaska.
From Anchorage she called her mother. Her father grabbed the receiver and yelled, “It was unforgivable of you to marry that man without our consent. But even so, a wife should be loyal to her husband under any circumstances. And now you have the gall to call us and blame him for your failure.”
This time it was she who hung up.
Divorce was foremost on her mind, but she feared the proceedings would flush her out. To her great relief, she found that her marriage had never existed; there had been a previous Mrs. John Bolt, and still was.
Nevertheless, she knew her life was still in danger. She cut and dyed her California locks and became just another Alaska brunette. But appearance alone was not enough to escape him.
By court order of the State of Alaska, Miss Veronica Onassis Redding became Miss Holly Shannon Innes.
At an abuse crisis center in Fairbanks, Holly Innes began intense therapy. But more than shrink sessions and weight loss regimens were needed to rebuild her.
Her counselor quickly found the key. At Fairbanks International Airport, he enrolled her in flight school.
The change was dramatic and immediate. Her first day of flying did more for her mental recovery than a year of therapy. The booty snatched from John Bolt paid for lessons. How appropriate, she thought, to use a nightmare to bankroll a dream.
After her first solo flight, she wept tears of joy.

For more info and more sample chapters, visit http://lastbushpilots.com

To view and order on Amazon:

—in Print: https://www.createspace.com/4053153

—on Kindle/ebook: http://goo.gl/yVHJV

50% of proceeds go to Alaska charity!

and now...
"Sunrise at Altitude"

A special video tribute to our wonderful moms out there!

Direct link: http://youtu.be/355idJjmvkY

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This post is dedicated to the life of my wonderful momma Lois

L-R: Birthday brother Allen, sis Patty, Cap'n Aux, Momma Aux, birthday brother Gary

And, Happy Birthday to my Brothers' Aux!

Here's to all of you wonderful "Aviatrixes!"

Happy Mother's Day!

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Posting May 15 @ 11:00 PHX:

Cap'n Aux answers readers' Q's—Part IV, 2.0

We've waited long enough—
Here's the final round!

Sample Questions:

—What was the funniest thing that ever happened to you on a flight?

—Have you flown any celebrities?

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Posting May 27 @ 11:00 PHX:

A Memorial Day Special

Missing Man Formation.

An Encore Presentation.

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JOIN CAP'N AUX ON:

http://www.facebook.com/CapnAux http://twitter.com/capnaux

AMAZON: http://goo.gl/yVHJV http://www.youtube.com/user/capnauxblog

VISIT THE LAST BUSH PILOTS HOME PAGE

MEMBER: INDEPENDENT AUTHOR NETWORK
http://www.independentauthornetwork.com/eric-auxier.html

100% OF ALL PROCEEDS FROM CODE NAME: DODGER, AND 50% FROM THE LAST BUSH PILOTS ARE DONATED TO CHARITY

BLOGGING IN FORMATION!

2013-05-08T06:00:00.000-07:00

#aviation #blog #blogroll #airline #flying

Dear fellow #AvGeek,
All this week, I and several other aviation bloggers are writing a themed "Blogroll," our first in a new monthly series! This month's theme: "How I was brought to flying."

If you haven't already done so, I encourage you to read the first two entries, already posted!

Hotlinks to sites:

05.06.13 iFLYblog - Brent Owens (Intro Post)

05.07.13 Flight to Success - Karlene Petitt

05.08.13 Adventures of Cap’n Aux - Eric Auxier

05.09.13 House of Rapp - Ron Rapp

05.10.13 Airplanista - Dan Pimentel

05.11.13 Smart Flight Training - Andrew Hartley

05.12.13 iFLYblog - Brent Owens

Newbies—Welcome Aboard!

I INVITE YOU TO JOIN MY SITE!

Just click Join this site in the right side column!------->

And now...

"HOW I WAS BROUGHT TO FLYING"

(Note: long time readers may notice elements of this post from my Valentine's 2012 post, "The Loon is a Harsh Mistress," http://capnaux.blogspot.com/2012/02/loon-is-harsh-mistress-pilots.html )

"More than anything else, Jonathan Livingston Seagull loved to fly."
—Richard Bach, Jonathan Livingston Seagull

Ask any pilot how they started flying, and you will hear a love story.

One just like mine...

From age 5, I dreamed of flying. Scanned the skies. Built model airplanes. Along with my buddy Alan, doodled WWII dogfights during math class. Thrilled at the occasional trip to the airport, and practically peed my pants to actually fly. To this day, I remember verbatim the conversation I had—at age 8—with the Hughes Airwest pilots in the magical cockpit of their Boeing 737.

When I was 14, I announced my intention to buy a hang glider.

Dad said, “Son, if you have the money, you can buy a hang glider.” Little did he know that this flying-obsessed boy had been saving up lawn mowing allowance for the past three years!

I promptly bought a used Rogallo wing for $430. I diligently took the ground school, aced the tests, and was thoroughly prepared. Nevertheless, the flight school, perhaps wisely, made me wait another year, till I was 15, to fly.

And, God bless his soul, my father honored his words, crossed his fingers and let this fledgling chick spread his wings...

It changed my life. The euphoric feeling I felt at liftoff was a drug that I would pursue for the rest of my life.

Fly. Flying. To Fly.

Me and my First Love, at age 15

"My soul is in the sky."

— William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream

Shortly thereafter I visited the Smithsonian Air & Space Museum, which included a viewing of the classic IMAX film, "To Fly!"*

Like few other earthbound media, it captured for me the sheer joy and grandeur and magic that is flying.

It began with these epic words:

FLY. FLYING. To Fly…

Hearing those words still give me goosebumps.

From that moment on, I was determined to fly two types of craft: a bush plane . . . and a spaceship.

The summer of ’87 saw my first wish fulfilled in Alaska.

"When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the Earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return."
—Leonardo da Vinci**

Death And Ex’s

A pilot retires.

While an Ex or two may have had her suspicions of a fling with a flight attendant, the true culprit would be my long-term love affair with "Fifi," my Airbus A320. Today, her graceful looks, sleek, sexy lines and loving, yet quirky and unforgiving personality are my obsession.***

Indeed, I believe more airline-related divorces can be traced to this plain plane obsession than sexual flings. Often, the plain plane-obsessed pilot comes home from his trip, pecks his wife on the cheek, repacks, and is off to the weekend fly-in.

Football widows got nuthin’ on airplane widows.

Cap'n Aux and Fifi.

Accountants, firemen, even physicians can retire and live to a ripe old age. But, despite the relatively youthful forced-retirement age of 65, the pilot-retiree often augers in within scant months or years.

I am convinced that this is because, inside, he is heartbroken. He has lost the Love of his Life; his harsh mistress of 30-some years has traded him in for a newer model. Oh, he may have dabbled with his own Cessna 182 during his brief twilight years, but it’s like trading the Supermodel for the cleaning lady.

He has lost his purpose, his identity, a large chunk of his core personality.

"Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take a boat in the air you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turning of worlds.

"Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down, tells you she's hurting 'fore she keens.

"Makes her a home."

— Captain Malcomb Reynolds, "Serenity"

Mal had his Serenity.
Han Solo had his Millenium Falcon.
Kirk and Picard had their Enterprise.
Adama had his Galactica...

And have my Fifi.

Fifi is my spaceship.

Photo courtesy of Ryan O'Harren at http://www.flightpics.net/

From her glass cockpit at FL390, on a moonless night I can gaze out the window at the lights of Planet Earth as they meld with the Milky Way, and imagine being in command of a starship cruising at Warp Speed.

I savor these fleeting years, when I and my mistress are perfectly content.

What drew me to flying?

Love.

MCCOY: Well, I doubt seriously if there's any kind of love antidote we can give the Captain for the Enterprise.
SPOCK: In this particular instance, Doctor, I agree with you.
KIRK: Mr. Sulu, ahead warp factor two.

—Star Trek, Elaan of Troyius

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HOTLINKS TO PARTICIPANTS IN THIS BLOGROLL:

Eric Auxier - capnauxier@yahoo.com - http://capnaux.blogspot.com/

Karlene Petitt - karlene.petitt@gmail.com - http://karlenepetitt.blogspot.com/

Ron Rapp - ron@rapp.org - http://www.rapp.org/

Dan Pimentel - editor@airplanista.com - http://www.av8rdan.com/

Andrew Hartley - acalebh@gmail.com - http://smartflighttraining.com/

Brent Owens - brent@iflyblog.com - http://iflyblog.com

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*To Fly! Still shown daily at the Smithsonian Air and Space museum in Washington, DC

Buy tickets here http://www.si.edu/Imax/Movie/1
Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_Fly!
Buy the DVD on Amazon, eBay or the like. Better yet, go see it at the Smitshonian. Best yet, go take a flying lesson!

**Attribution of quote to da Vinci is disputed.
Wiki: http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Talk:Leonardo_da_Vinci

***My all-time favorite planes: Those I’ve flown: de Havilland Beaver, Twin Otter, Grumman Mallard, Airbus A320.
Those I've always wanted to fly: F-15, Curtiss JN-4 “Jenny,” DC-3, Boeing 727, 747, and anything on floats.
My all-time favorite airplane: P-51D Mustang.

What’s your favorite plane, and have you been lucky enough to fly/ride in one? And, briefly, what’s your most memorable aviation experience? Please comment and let us all know!

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Posting May 11 @ 8am PHX:

A Mother's Day Special!
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Posting May 20th @ 11:00 PHX:

Cap'n Aux answers readers' Q's—Part IV, 2.0

YOUR Questions—the final round!

Sample Questions:

—What was the funniest thing that ever happened to you on a flight?

—When do you reference speed as a percent of Mach and when do you use knots?
—Are you familiar with the crash of Northwest Flight 255?
—Have you flown any celebrities?

———————

JOIN CAP'N AUX ON:

http://www.facebook.com/CapnAux http://twitter.com/capnaux

AMAZON: http://goo.gl/yVHJV http://www.youtube.com/user/capnauxblog

VISIT THE LAST BUSH PILOTS HOME PAGE

MEMBER: INDEPENDENT AUTHOR NETWORK
http://www.independentauthornetwork.com/eric-auxier.html

100% OF ALL PROCEEDS FROM CODE NAME: DODGER, AND 50% FROM THE LAST BUSH PILOTS ARE DONATED TO CHARITY