Adventures of an Actress

Adventures of a Creative

noreply@blogger.com (Brandi Ford) — Sun, 21 Dec 2014 15:06:00 -0800

This year has been such a rollercoaster and it's certainly flown by.

Personally and professionally I've experienced so many changes - many of which I wish I'd done a better job of chronicling here - but all of which I've hopefully learned from in one way or another.

One major shift over the last few months is that of seeing myself as an actress who likes to dabble in writing and producing to seeing myself as a creative person, period. I've been doing a LOT of writing lately, much more writing than acting actually (a big part of that is simply because you don't need to wait on anyone to hire you to write, you just DO it) so the thought of being able to make a living as a writer and in turn using my writing to open up more opportunities for me to act, is very appealing. I did resist this shift at first because it felt like a change in my identity, and I talk about that resistance in an interview I did with Lisa Nicole Bell on her podcast, "Behind the Brilliance." Ultimately though, I have let go of my need to define what I do by one label. Yes I'm an actress, but I'm also a writer (I have a literary agent now, whaaaat?!?), producer (packaging the feature version of Muted is priority numero uno), event planner (I don't get paid to do this anymore but I have an event series for women in the industry in the works for 2015 that I'm excited to plan) and baker/cookie decorator (I DO get paid for this and it's been a lovely thrival job during the holidays - www.sugarswag.com), not to mention someone who loves to sing and dance (yes I will be in a musical again one day!). Simply put, I'm a Creative.

With this revelation, writing a blog under the "Adventures of an Actress" heading, no longer makes sense. It doesn't fit who I am anymore since my adventures now fall under many creative categories, not just acting alone. So in the new year I'll be changing my blog to "Candid Confessions of a Creative". With a new blog name comes a new web address so please add the new link to your bookmarks or subscribe via email if you'd like to stay updated since it won't automatically switch over your subscription.

I hope you'll continue to take this journey with me as I start a new chapter but if not, it's been quite a lovely ride. :-)

May you all have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year and for those of you continuing on, I can't wait to share much more in 2015!

Cheers,

The importance of a collective

noreply@blogger.com (Brandi Ford) — Tue, 5 Aug 2014 14:54:00 -0700

This photo perfectly complements the video below. Takeaway: Find your tribe.

"When a group of people get together and decide to do something, strange and mysterious things can happen..."

http://youtu.be/BgfuzhWM5hA

5 Years In!

noreply@blogger.com (Brandi Ford) — Thu, 17 Jul 2014 14:52:00 -0700

Today marks 5 years of living in this crazy, wonderful, inspiring, disheartening, possibility-filled, effing HARD city known as LA. I've been THIS close to moving quite a few times in the last year but lately my resolve to stick this out a bit longer so that I can eventually become an "overnight success" has grown stronger than ever. I mean I love NY but I could never live there (not unless I was truly able to be bicoastal) and my hubby isn't at all interested in moving to Atlanta (aka Hollywood South, Black Hollywood and/or Ya'llywood) so it looks like we'll be here for awhile. Which makes seeing this in the latest issue of Variety all the more sweet:

Happy LA-versary to me!

How Do You Do It All?

noreply@blogger.com (Brandi Ford) — Tue, 15 Jul 2014 11:25:00 -0700

Recently my favorite showrunner Shonda Rhimes gave the commencement address at Dartmouth and it really resonated with me. Not because of the "Be a Doer, Not a Dreamer" mantra that a lot of others were inspired by (though that's great too) but because she addressed a question that she gets asked (and so do I) all the time: How do you do it all?

Though I haven't achieved even a modicum of the success she has, I am often asked by my childless friends how in the world do I balance being a mother of three with the pursuit of such a crazy, difficult and sometimes all-consuming acting/writing career? Her answer is EXACTLY how I feel:

"As a very successful woman, a single mother of three, who constantly gets asked the question 'How do you do it all?' For once I am going to answer that question with 100 percent honesty here for you now. Because it's just us. Because it's our fireside chat. Because somebody has to tell you the truth.

Shonda, how do you do it all?

The answer is this: I don't.

Whenever you see me somewhere succeeding in one area of my life, that almost certainly means I am failing in another area of my life.

If I am killing it on a Scandal script for work, I am probably missing bath and story time at home. If I am at home sewing my kids' Halloween costumes, I'm probably blowing off a rewrite I was supposed to turn in. If I am accepting a prestigious award, I am missing my baby's first swim lesson. If I am at my daughter's debut in her school musical, I am missing Sandra Oh's last scene ever being filmed at Grey's Anatomy. If I am succeeding at one, I am inevitably failing at the other. That is the tradeoff. That is the Faustian bargain one makes with the devil that comes with being a powerful working woman who is also a powerful mother. You never feel a hundred percent OK; you never get your sea legs; you are always a little nauseous. Something is always lost.

Something is always missing.

And yet. I want my daughters to see me and know me as a woman who works. I want that example set for them. I like how proud they are when they come to my offices and know that they come to Shondaland. There is a land and it is named after their mother. In their world, mothers run companies. In their world, mothers own Thursday nights. In their world, mothers work. And I am a better mother for it. The woman I am because I get to run Shondaland, because I get to write all day, because I get to spend my days making things up, that woman is a better person—and a better mother. Because that woman is happy. That woman is fulfilled. That woman is whole. I wouldn't want them to know the me who didn't get to do this all day long. I wouldn't want them to know the me who wasn't doing."

Nail on head! I literally cannot add another word to that as it perfectly expresses how I feel about balancing the two and why I'm willing to struggle to live in this ridiculously expensive city in order to pursue a career that truly fulfills me in a way that no other job has.

Even if you're not a parent, there are still some wonderful gems in this speech. You can watch the full video here or read the transcript courtesy of Dartmouth below.

"President Hanlon, faculty, staff, honored guests, parents, students, families and friends—good morning and congratulations to the Dartmouth graduating class of 2014!

So.

This is weird.

Me giving a speech. In general, I do not like giving speeches. Giving a speech requires standing in front of large groups of people while they look at you and it also requires talking. I can do the standing part OK. But the you looking and the me talking ... I am not a fan. I get this overwhelming feeling of fear. Terror, really. Dry mouth, heart beats superfast, everything gets a little bit slow motion. Like I might pass out. Or die. Or poop my pants or something. I mean, don't worry. I'm not going to pass out or die or poop my pants. Mainly because just by telling you that it could happen, I have somehow neutralized it as an option. Like as if saying it out loud casts some kind of spell where now it cannot possibly happen now. Vomit. I could vomit. See. Vomiting is now also off the table. Neutralized it. We're good.

Anyway, the point is. I do not like to give speeches. I'm a writer. I'm a TV writer. I like to write stuff for other people to say. I actually contemplated bringing Ellen Pompeo or Kerry Washington here to say my speech for me ... but my lawyer pointed out that when you drag someone across state lines against their will, the FBI comes looking for you, so...

I don't like giving speeches, in general, because of the fear and terror. But this speech? This speech, I really did not want to give.

A Dartmouth Commencement speech? Dry mouth. Heart beats so, so fast. Everything in slow motion. Pass out, die, poop.

Look, it would be fine if this were, 20 years ago. If it were back in the day when I graduated from Dartmouth. Twenty-three years ago, I was sitting right where you are now. And I was listening to Elizabeth Dole speak. And she was great. She was calm and she was confident. It was just ... different. It felt like she was just talking to a group of people. Like a fireside chat with friends. Just Liddy Dole and like 9,000 of her closest friends. Because it was 20 years ago. And she was just talking to a group of people.

Now? Twenty years later? This is no fireside chat. It's not just you and me. This speech is filmed and streamed and tweeted and uploaded. NPR has like, a whole site dedicated to Commencement speeches. A whole site just about commencement speeches. There are sites that rate them and mock them and dissect them. It's weird. And stressful. And kind of vicious if you're an introvert perfectionist writer who hates speaking in public in the first place.

When President Hanlon called me—and by the way, I would like to thank President Hanlon for asking me way back in January, thus giving me a full six months of terror and panic to enjoy. When President Hanlon called me, I almost said no. Almost.

Dry mouth. Heart beats so, so fast. Everything in slow motion. Pass out, die, poop.

But I'm here. I am gonna do it. I'm doing it. You know why?

Because I like a challenge. And because this year I made myself a promise that I was going to do the stuff that terrifies me. And because, 20-plus years ago when I was trudging uphill from the River Cluster through all that snow to get to the Hop for play rehearsal, I never imagined that I would one day be standing here, at the Old Pine lectern. Staring out at all of you. About to throw down on some wisdom in the Dartmouth Commencement address.

So, you know, yeah. Moments.

Also, I'm here because I really, really wanted some EBAs.

OK.

I want to say right now that every single time someone asked me what I was going to talk about in this speech, I would boldly and confidently tell them that I had all kinds wisdom to share. I was lying. I feel wildly unqualified to give you advice. There is no wisdom here. So all I can do is talk about some stuff that could maybe be useful to you, from one Dartmouth grad to another. Some stuff that won't ever show up in a Meredith Grey voiceover or a Papa Pope monologue. Some stuff I probably shouldn't be telling you here now because of the uploading and the streaming and the tweeting. But I am going to pretend that it is 20 years ago. That it's just you and me. That we're having a fireside chat. Screw the outside world and what they think. I've already said "poop" like five times already anyway ... things are getting real up in here.

OK, wait. Before I talk to you. I want to talk to your parents. Because the other thing about it being 20 years later is that I'm a mother now. So I know some things, some very different things. I have three girls. I've been to the show. You don't know what that means, but your parents do. You think this day is all about you. But your parents ... the people who raised you ... the people who endured you ... they potty trained you, they taught you to read, they survived you as a teenager, they have suffered 21 years and not once did they kill you. This day ... you call it your graduation day. But this day is not about you. This is their day. This is the day they take back their lives, this is the day they earn their freedom. This day is their Independence Day. So, parents, I salute you. And as I have an eight-month-old, I hope to join your ranks of freedom in 20 years!

OK. So here comes the real deal part of the speech, or you might call it, Some Random Stuff Some Random Alum Who Runs a TV Show Thinks I Should Know Before I Graduate:

You ready?

When people give these kinds of speeches, they usually tell you all kinds of wise and heartfelt things. They have wisdom to impart. They have lessons to share. They tell you: Follow your dreams. Listen to your spirit. Change the world. Make your mark. Find your inner voice and make it sing. Embrace failure. Dream. Dream and dream big. As a matter of fact, dream and don't stop dreaming until all of your dreams come true.

I think that's crap.

I think a lot of people dream. And while they are busy dreaming, the really happy people, the really successful people, the really interesting, engaged, powerful people, are busy doing.

The dreamers. They stare at the sky and they make plans and they hope and they talk about it endlessly. And they start a lot of sentences with "I want to be ..." or "I wish."

"I want to be a writer." "I wish I could travel around the world."

And they dream of it. The buttoned-up ones meet for cocktails and they brag about their dreams, and the hippie ones have vision boards and they meditate about their dreams. Maybe you write in journals about your dreams or discuss it endlessly with your best friend or your girlfriend or your mother. And it feels really good. You're talking about it, and you're planning it. Kind of. You are blue-skying your life. And that is what everyone says you should be doing. Right? I mean, that's what Oprah and Bill Gates did to get successful, right?

No.

Dreams are lovely. But they are just dreams. Fleeting, ephemeral, pretty. But dreams do not come true just because you dream them. It's hard work that makes things happen. It's hard work that creates change.

So, Lesson One, I guess is: Ditch the dream and be a doer, not a dreamer. Maybe you know exactly what it is you dream of being, or maybe you're paralyzed because you have no idea what your passion is. The truth is, it doesn't matter. You don't have to know. You just have to keep moving forward. You just have to keep doing something, seizing the next opportunity, staying open to trying something new. It doesn't have to fit your vision of the perfect job or the perfect life. Perfect is boring and dreams are not real. Just ... do. So you think, "I wish I could travel." Great. Sell your crappy car, buy a ticket to Bangkok, and go. Right now. I'm serious.

You want to be a writer? A writer is someone who writes every day, so start writing. You don't have a job? Get one. Any job. Don't sit at home waiting for the magical opportunity. Who are you? Prince William? No. Get a job. Go to work. Do something until you can do something else.

I did not dream of being a TV writer. Never, not once when I was here in the hallowed halls of the Ivy League, did I say to myself, "Self, I want to write TV."

You know what I wanted to be? I wanted to be Nobel Prize-winning author Toni Morrison. That was my dream. I blue sky'ed it like crazy. I dreamed and dreamed. And while I was dreaming, I was living in my sister's basement. Dreamers often end up living in the basements of relatives, FYI. Anyway, there I was in that basement, and I was dreaming of being Nobel Prize-winning author Toni Morrison. And guess what? I couldn't be Nobel Prize-winning author Toni Morrison, because Toni Morrison already had that job and she wasn't interested in giving it up. So one day I was sitting in that basement and I read an article that said—it was in The New York Times—and it said it was harder to get into USC Film School than it was to get into Harvard Law School. And I thought I could dream about being Toni Morrison, or I could do.

At film school, I discovered an entirely new way of telling stories. A way that suited me. A way that brought me joy. A way that flipped this switch in my brain and changed the way I saw the world. Years later, I had dinner with Toni Morrison. All she wanted to talk about was Grey's Anatomy. That never would have happened if I hadn't stopped dreaming of becoming her and gotten busy becoming myself.

Lesson Two. Lesson two is that tomorrow is going to be the worst day ever for you.

When I graduated from Dartmouth that day in 1991, when I was sitting right where you are and I was staring up at Elizabeth Dole speaking, I will admit that I have no idea what she was saying. Couldn't even listen to her. Not because I was overwhelmed or emotional or any of that. But because I had a serious hangover. Like, an epic painful hangover because (and here is where I apologize to President Hanlon because I know that you are trying to build a better and more responsible Dartmouth and I applaud you and I admire you and it is very necessary) but I was really freaking drunk the night before. And the reason I'd been so drunk the night before, the reason I'd done upside down margarita shots at Bones Gate was because I knew that after graduation, I was going to take off my cap and gown, my parents were going to pack my stuff in the car and I was going to go home and probably never come back to Hanover again. And even if I did come back, it wouldn't matter because it wouldn't be the same because I didn't live here anymore.

On my graduation day, I was grieving.

My friends were celebrating. They were partying. They were excited. So happy. No more school, no more books, no more teachers' dirty looks. And I was like, are you freaking kidding me? You get all the fro‑yo you want here! The gym is free. The apartments in Manhattan are smaller than my suite in North Mass. Who cared if there was no place to get my hair done? All my friends are here. I have a theatre company here. I was grieving. I knew enough about how the world works, enough about how adulthood plays out, to be grieving.

Here's where I am going to embarrass myself and make you all feel maybe a little bit better about yourselves. I literally lay down on the floor of my dorm room and cried while my mother packed up my room. I refused to help her. Like, hell no I won't go. I nonviolent-protested leaving here. Like, went limp like a protestor, only without the chanting—it was really pathetic. If none of you lie down on a dirty hardwood floor and cry today while your mommy packs up your dorm room, you are already starting your careers out ahead of me. You are winning.

But here's the thing. The thing I really felt like I knew was that the real world sucks. And it is scary. College is awesome. You're special here. You're in the Ivy League, you are at the pinnacle of your life's goals at this point—your entire life up until now has been about getting into some great college and then graduating from that college. And now, today, you have done it. The moment you get out of college, you think you are going to take the world by storm. All doors will be opened to you. It's going to be laughter and diamonds and soirees left and right.

What really happens is that, to the rest of the world, you are now at the bottom of the heap. Maybe you're an intern, possibly a low-paid assistant. And it is awful. The real world, it sucked so badly for me. I felt like a loser all of the time. And more than a loser? I felt lost.

Which brings me to clarify lesson number two.

Tomorrow is going to be the worst day ever for you. But don't be an asshole.

Here's the thing. Yes, it is hard out there. But hard is relative. I come from a middle-class family, my parents are academics, I was born after the civil rights movement, I was a toddler during the women's movement, I live in the United States of America, all of which means I'm allowed to own my freedom, my rights, my voice, and my uterus; and I went to Dartmouth and I earned an Ivy League degree.

The lint in my navel that accumulated while I gazed at it as I suffered from feeling lost about how hard it was to not feel special after graduation ... that navel lint was embarrassed for me.

Elsewhere in the world, girls are harmed simply because they want to get an education. Slavery still exists. Children still die from malnutrition. In this country, we lose more people to handgun violence than any other nation in the world. Sexual assault against women in America is pervasive and disturbing and continues at an alarming rate.

So yes, tomorrow may suck for you—as it did for me. But as you stare at the lint in your navel, have some perspective. We are incredibly lucky. We have been given a gift. An incredible education has been placed before us. We ate all the fro-yo we could get our hands on. We skied. We had EBAs at 1 a.m. We built bonfires and got frostbite and had all the free treadmills. We beer-ponged our asses off. Now it's time to pay it forward.

Find a cause you love. It's OK to pick just one. You are going to need to spend a lot of time out in the real world trying to figure out how to stop feeling like a lost loser, so one cause is good. Devote some time every week to it.

Oh. And while we are discussing this, let me say a thing. A hashtag is not helping. #yesallwomen #takebackthenight #notallmen #bringbackourgirls #StopPretendingHashtagsAreTheSameAsDoingSomething

Hashtags are very pretty on Twitter. I love them. I will hashtag myself into next week. But a hashtag is not a movement. A hashtag does not make you Dr. King. A hashtag does not change anything. It's a hashtag. It's you, sitting on your butt, typing on your computer and then going back to binge-watching your favorite show. I do it all the time. For me, it's Game of Thrones.

Volunteer some hours. Focus on something outside yourself. Devote a slice of your energies towards making the world suck less every week. Some people suggest doing this will increase your sense of well-being. Some say it's good karma. I say that it will allow you to remember that, whether you are a legacy or the first in your family to go to college, the air you are breathing right now is rare air. Appreciate it. Don't be an asshole.

Lesson number three.

So you're out there, and you're giving back and you're doing, and it's working. And life is good. You are making it. You're a success. And it's exciting and it's great. At least it is for me. I love my life. I have three TV shows at work and I have three daughters at home. And it's all amazing, and I am truly happy. And people are constantly asking me, how do you do it?

And usually, they have this sort of admiring and amazed tone.

Shonda, how do you do it all?

Like I'm full of magical magic and special wisdom-ness or something.

How do you do it all?

And I usually just smile and say like, "I'm really organized." Or if I'm feeling slightly kindly, I say, "I have a lot of help."

And those things are true. But they also are not true.

And this is the thing that I really want to say. To all of you. Not just to the women out there. Although this will matter to you women a great deal as you enter the work force and try to figure out how to juggle work and family. But it will also matter to the men, who I think increasingly are also trying to figure out how to juggle work and family. And frankly, if you aren't trying to figure it out, men of Dartmouth, you should be. Fatherhood is being redefined at a lightning-fast rate. You do not want to be a dinosaur.

So women and men of Dartmouth: As you try to figure out the impossible task of juggling work and family and you hear over and over and over again that you just need a lot of help or you just need to be organized or you just need to try just a little bit harder ... as a very successful woman, a single mother of three, who constantly gets asked the question "How do you do it all?" For once I am going to answer that question with 100 percent honesty here for you now. Because it's just us. Because it's our fireside chat. Because somebody has to tell you the truth.

Shonda, how do you do it all?

The answer is this: I don't.

Whenever you see me somewhere succeeding in one area of my life, that almost certainly means I am failing in another area of my life.

If I am killing it on a Scandal script for work, I am probably missing bath and story time at home. If I am at home sewing my kids' Halloween costumes, I'm probably blowing off a rewrite I was supposed to turn in. If I am accepting a prestigious award, I am missing my baby's first swim lesson. If I am at my daughter's debut in her school musical, I am missing Sandra Oh's last scene ever being filmed at Grey's Anatomy. If I am succeeding at one, I am inevitably failing at the other. That is the tradeoff. That is the Faustian bargain one makes with the devil that comes with being a powerful working woman who is also a powerful mother. You never feel a hundred percent OK; you never get your sea legs; you are always a little nauseous. Something is always lost.

Something is always missing.

And yet. I want my daughters to see me and know me as a woman who works. I want that example set for them. I like how proud they are when they come to my offices and know that they come to Shondaland. There is a land and it is named after their mother. In their world, mothers run companies. In their world, mothers own Thursday nights. In their world, mothers work. And I am a better mother for it. The woman I am because I get to run Shondaland, because I get write all day, because I get to spend my days making things up, that woman is a better person—and a better mother. Because that woman is happy. That woman is fulfilled. That woman is whole. I wouldn't want them to know the me who didn't get to do this all day long. I wouldn't want them to know the me who wasn't doing.

Lesson Number Three is that anyone who tells you they are doing it all perfectly is a liar.

OK.

I fear I've scared you or been a little bit bleak, and that was not my intention. It is my hope that you run out of here, excited, leaning forward, into the wind, ready to take the world by storm. That would be so very fabulous. For you to do what everyone expects of you. For you to just go be exactly the picture of hardcore Dartmouth awesome.

My point, I think, is that it is OK if you don't. My point is that it can be scary to graduate. That you can lie on the hardwood floor of your dorm room and cry while your mom packs up your stuff. That you can have an impossible dream to be Toni Morrison that you have to let go of. That every day you can feel like you might be failing at work or at your home life. That the real world is hard.

And yet, you can still wake up every single morning and go, "I have three amazing kids and I have created work I am proud of, and I absolutely love my life and I would not trade it for anyone else's life ever."

You can still wake up one day and find yourself living a life you never even imagined dreaming of.

My dreams did not come true. But I worked really hard. And I ended up building an empire out of my imagination. So my dreams? Can suck it.

You can wake up one day and find that you are interesting and powerful and engaged. You can wake up one day and find that you are a doer.

You can be sitting right where you are now. Looking up at me. Probably—hopefully, I pray for you—hung over. And then 20 years from now, you can wake up and find yourself in the Hanover Inn full of fear and terror because you are going to give the Commencement speech. Dry mouth. Heart beats so, so fast. Everything in slow motion. Pass out, die, poop.

Which one of you will it be? Which member of the 2014 class is going to find themselves standing up here? Because I checked and it is pretty rare for an alum to speak here. It's pretty much just me and Robert Frost and Mr. Rogers, which is crazy awesome.

Which one of you is going to make it up here? I really hope that it's one of you. Seriously.

When it happens, you'll know what this feels like.

Dry mouth. Heart beats so, so fast. Everything moves in slow motion.

Graduates, every single one of you, be proud of your accomplishments. Make good on your diplomas.

You are no longer students. You are no longer works in progress. You are now citizens of the real world. You have a responsibility to become a person worthy of joining and contributing to society. Because who you are today ... that's who you are.

So be brave.

Be amazing.

Be worthy.

And every single time you get a chance?

Stand up in front of people.

Let them see you. Speak. Be heard.

Go ahead and have the dry mouth.

Let your heart beat so, so fast.

Watch everything move in slow motion.

So what?

You what?

You pass out, you die, you poop?

No.

And this is really the only lesson you'll ever need to know ...

You take it in.

You breathe this rare air.

You feel alive.

You be yourself.

You truly finally always be yourself.

Thank you. Good luck."

My first film fest: ABFF in NY

noreply@blogger.com (Brandi Ford) — Sun, 13 Jul 2014 10:15:00 -0700

These last few weeks have been a whirlwind! Daniel turned 6 months old, Stevie graduated from kindergarten, the boys are out of school for summer vacation and I visited New York for almost a week to attend the American Black Film Festival where MUTED had its' world premiere.

MUTED was one of five films selected for the HBO Short Film Competition held annually at ABFF (*To be eligible to submit, your project must have a black writer or director and world premiere status) and what an experience it was!

It was kicked off by car service picking me up at 4am to take me to the airport and then to the hotel once in New York.

I could get used to this!

We stayed at the gorgeous Gansevoort Hotel on Park Ave. Check out the chic chandeliers!

After briefly settling in our room, we got dressed and took a cab to Bar Americain for our welcome dinner where we got to meet and greet the other short filmmakers, HBO executives and founder of ABFF, Jeff Friday.

Didn't think a NY restaurant could pull off a good shrimp & grits (I have spent quite a few years in Houston afterall) but they nailed it!

The next morning we had an opportunity to get to know some of the programming executives a little better as they had a seating chart designed to sit us next to folks we didn't know while we dined at the hotel's restaurant Asellina for breakfast.

Later that day we attended the filmmaker's reception followed by the opening night film "Think Like A Man Too", which had a lively introduction by the film's producer Will Packer, director Tim Story and lead actor Kevin Hart.

The next day was our big night! We arrived at the SVA Theatre a ball of nerves (What if the audio sounds bad? What if it won't play? What if they don't like it?!?) but also excited to finally see our work on the big screen.

We walked the red carpet (which is harder than it looks when there are a bunch of you!) and took our seats in the theatre.

With Co-Producer Danette Wilson, Producer Tara Tomicevic, Associate Producer Matthew Owyang & Director Rachel Goldberg

Our film was up first (!) and was followed by an incredible line-up of really well-done, beautiful films including Gabrielle Fulton-Ponder's "Ir/Reconcilable" starring Jasmine Guy, Tiffany Littlejohn's "The Perfect Sacrifice" starring Nakia Secrest, Ya'Ke's "Dawn" starring Mikala Gibson, and Terron "Muthafucca Jones" "When It All Falls Down" starring Branden Wellington and MaameYaa Boafo.

How did it feel to see my film on the big screen for the first time (and to see myself on the big screen for the first time as well)? AMAZING! There were gasps and tears and audible audience reactions and it was simply wonderful. (It's what I miss the most about doing theatre - connecting with the audience.)

After each film the filmmakers took to the stage to talk briefly with our host, the ever-fabulous Bevy Smith, about what went into the making of the films and to give a little insight into each filmmaker's process.

As I walked down the stage after our mini Q & A, the one and only Alfre Woodard mouthed "Good job!" to me. (ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME?!?) I could've passed out with glee right then!

After a glorious screening experience, the rest of the weekend was just gravy.

Chillin in the lounge

With Rick Moore of NYLA Elise Clothing

True Blood party complete with signature drinks, custom pillows & fake vampire bite tattoos. Nice touch! As a former Special Events Planner you know I LOVED this!

At the "Get On Up" exhibit promoting the new James Brown biopic

We sipped margaritas at Dos Caminos, enjoyed the VIP lounge, attended a panel with actors from Boardwalk Empire, Getting On and True Blood (hello Joe Manganiello!), visited Chandra's dear sweet agent to thank him for all his help, cracked up at the Comedy Wings competition (shout out to Hadiyah Robinson who absolutely killed it and Amberia Allen whose brand of intelligent, witty humor could easily land her on a sitcom very soon), partied hard at the True Blood #LastCall party and finally found ourselves at the Awards Ceremony where they presented the Best Short Film Award to (drumroll please).....

.....

MUTED!!! Yaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy!!!! :-) :-) :-)

Talk about an overwhelming moment! We said our thank-you's:

and had permanent smiles on our faces for the rest of the night.

With producing partner Tara Tomicevic

With co-producer Danette Wilson & actor Omari Hardwick

With actor Charles S. Dutton

Afterward we had one final meal with our HBO hosts at the ridiculously divine Buddakan...

I loved the decor in their private room! Made us feel like we were in a golden library.

and then made our way back to the hotel lobby where we chilled with the other filmmakers until around 3am.

Oh but our night didn't end there. We got invited to a party in Soho so we threw on some jeans and headed back out and danced the morning away!

Around 4:30 or so we tried to get a cab to go back to the hotel but none wanted to stop (that's really a thing!) so we walked to a diner and had breakfast instead.

The French Toast was HUGE!

As the sun came up before our eyes we knew we would regret not going to bed in a few hours, but for the moment we were all still floating on cloud 9.

These were our faces when we made it back to the hotel around 6:30am to go to bed!

A few hours later we had to get up and ready because our awesome, amazing friend Leshelle secured two interviews for us at 30 Rock!

We were prepped in a makeup chair and then whisked away to the set of MSNBC's "The Reid Report" where we got to talk to Joy Reid about our film and plans for the future.

You can view the Reid Report segment here:

http://www.msnbc.com/the-reid-report/watch/a-muted-response-when-child-goes-missing-293193795918

Immediately after we went to another floor in the huge building and sat down with Lilly Workneh of TheGrio where we talked more about the inspiration behind the film and what steps people can take should they feel called to act after viewing.

You can view theGrio segment here:

http://thegrio.com/2014/07/03/muted-powerful-film-explores-being-black-and-missing/

With my voice rapidly deteriorating, we made our way back to the hotel to grab our bags and bid adieu.

It was such a wonderful, fantastic, memorable experience and I am incredibly grateful to have had it.

Nurturing my babies

noreply@blogger.com (Brandi Ford) — Mon, 2 Jun 2014 15:38:00 -0700

It's JUNE already! WHAAAAAAAAAT?!? The first half of the year will be over in just a few short weeks - I know. Madness!

Wellllllllllll, I've been a busy B. These past few months I've been consumed with holding, kissing, rocking, singing to and dancing with my little handsome man Baby Daniel.

He makes me so happy to see his smiling little face! :-)

I've also been putting a lot of love into my other baby: Muted. Our freakin phenomenal post-production team have been working tirelessly to finish the film as we are preparing to submit to a slew of film fests over the next 2 months. More news on that front coming soon!

So mommy-mode and producer-mode have been firing on all cylinders. Actor-mode and writer-mode haven't gotten as much action. I've had 2 commercial auditions (and worked out a deal with another mommy-actress friend of mine to watch each other's kids during auditions when possible) and I got to act in a student film. It was actually a reenactment of a scene from the movie "She Hate Me" by Spike Lee which is a pretty provocative piece but our director gave it a sweeter/cutesy touch. I'll share when I get a copy. In the meantime, here are some pics from set...

Dreading another rewrite of the feature version of Muted but I'm gonna have to get over it and get busy sometime in the next few weeks because it needs work. Ugh. This part is NOT fun for me!

Anyhow, what have ya'll been up to? How is your year shaping up?

Their job is freakin awesome!

noreply@blogger.com (Brandi Ford) — Mon, 7 Apr 2014 09:31:00 -0700

It's baaaaaaaaacckk!

Game of Thrones season 5 finally premiered last night and did not disappoint. Before watching I binged on just about every video on their official YouTube channel. Here's one I found interesting about the writers/producers and how the show came to be on TV:

(Only watch if you've finished season 3!)

Write the vision. Make it plain.

noreply@blogger.com (Brandi Ford) — Fri, 7 Mar 2014 23:41:00 -0800

I'm a firm believer in writing down my goals to help reinforce my faith that they will come to pass. To that end, I've made a visionboard once again and I love it.

These words and photos represent my goals and desires in many different areas of my life from my family to my career to stepping up my image fashion-wise to my bakery business.

*Oh and yes Shonda Rhimes is on here twice and Kerry Washington is on here a good 4 times. I need to work with these ladies! I can play her sister or something!

Write the vision and make it plain.

2014: A Season of Newness

noreply@blogger.com (Brandi Ford) — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 15:13:00 -0800

Happy new year blogosphere! I hope you all had a lovely holiday season and are off to a productive start this year.

So much has happened since I last took time to write. For starters, I signed with a manager a few months ago. She's gotten me out on a couple major TV auditions for series regular roles, which is a new thing for me! Unfortunately after being with her for 3 months, she closed up shop and joined forces with a larger management company and had to leave me behind. No love loss though. I appreciate the auditions she got me and will move forward from there.

In much more important and life-changing news, Baby Daniel is here!! I'm a new mom again and yes I'm in love. :-)

He arrived the day after Christmas, almost a full 2 months before he was due, since my body decided to develop pre-eclampsia. :-( Thankfully both he and I were fine after his delivery but since he was 3 lbs, 14 oz he had to stay in the NICU to get his weight up before he was able to come home. Leaving the hospital without a baby was the most surreal experience I've ever had, but I am very thankful that he has no health problems and is now home and happy!

And his big brothers are my very big helpers! Looking at the 3 of them reminds me of how abundantly blessed I am and how much responsibility I've been given as their mother. Daniel's arrival has definitely shaken some things inside of me and changed my perspective on some areas that I never thought I'd budge on, but more on that in a later post.

On the acting/writing/producing front, I'm very excited for the possibilities this year holds! My main goals are to book a commercial, book a role on TV, get Muted into major film festivals and get Muted the feature in tip-top shape to make it attractive to production companies. Since the first 2 months of the new year are practically over, I've got a lot of work to do! I plan to share more of my journey with you this year since I miss blogging regularly. I will try to blog more consistently, though with a newborn I'm not making any promises. :-)

Can I do this every week please???

noreply@blogger.com (Brandi Ford) — Tue, 22 Oct 2013 12:37:00 -0700

Shooting Muted was the highlight of my career up to this point!

More like a chair read since there was no table. :-)

We started off with a table read a few days before the shoot and just hearing the words I've written and toiled over for so long come to life almost brought tears to my eyes. *I said almost. I sucked it up!

Chandra Wilson (aka Dr. Bailey from Grey's Anatomy - YES AS A HUGE GA FAN I FREAKED OUT) played my mother and Malcolm-Jamal Warner played my father. Getting Malcolm on board was an unexpected treat that was the icing on the cake. :-)

Tara Tomicevic (Sascha) and Daniele Watts (Crystal)

Jorge-Luis Pallo (Det. Moreno) & Ross McCall (Det. Fitzhugh)

All of the actors were fantastic and getting to act alongside Chandra, especially in some of the heavier scenes, was such a gift. It was like taking a master class right there on set so I tried to soak in every moment.

Checking constant emails when not shooting

Having to produce and act at the same time was not without its challenges. There were some small fires to put out and some emotional scenes that the baby was NOT happy about (seriously my stomach was rumbling for about 2 hours afterward) but thankfully we weren't shut down, our equipment didn't malfunction, no one was injured and the baby is still healthy so all in all I'd say it was a pretty successful shoot.

Baby bump!

Our crew was AWESOME!!!! Talented, smart, hard working with positive attitudes all the while. I'd hire the majority of them again in a heartbeat and hope to work with them on other projects in the near future. And Rachel Goldberg, our fearless leader, made everything feel easy. As an actor you hope to work with a director who will give you the freedom to make your own choices while still executing their vision and she did exactly that. She may not be well known now but I guarantee she will be pretty soon. She's absolutely a filmmaker to keep your eye on.

I'm happy and relieved that the shoot is over and that we can start to have fun in post but a part of me didn't want it to end. :-( I so wish I could do this (act on a professional set) every week like a "real" career. One day. One day soon.

Here we go

noreply@blogger.com (Brandi Ford) — Wed, 2 Oct 2013 23:29:00 -0700

We start shooting Muted tomorrow.

I am beyond excited (and tired!) and can't wait to share all of the details that led up to this point. But for now I'm just gonna say God is so good and He has already far exceeded my desire for what this short film could have become.

Oh and in baby news, all is well. :-)

New whip and Share & Support Sunday

noreply@blogger.com (Brandi Ford) — Sun, 18 Aug 2013 11:28:00 -0700

Remember this?

After getting into an accident on the freeway back in early 2011 which totaled my little neon, my family and I had been sharing a car since then. 1 car divided by 2 people and 2 little ones who went to different schools over 2.5 years made for 1 tired mommy/taxi driver.

But, praise God, we've been blessed with a second car! This opens up A WHOLE NEW WORLD for us and will give me a much needed break from having to pick up everyone for everything. And the funny thing is that had we bought a car a long time ago, there's no way we would've purchased an SUV because we didn't need the extra space. However God knew there was another baby coming so it all worked out the way it was supposed to. I'm so grateful for this blessing and have named her Patience.

In other news, the pregnancy is progressing well except that my hormones are out of control. I've been hit with fatigue and face rashes - yes RASHES ON MY FREAKIN FACE - that I really can't do much about besides try my very best to cover them up with concealer & foundation when I have an audition. So far I've only had to do this once though so hopefully any future auditions will be face rash free. Ah, the sacrifices we make to bring life into this world. :-)

Finally, I've been getting a lot of email from both actors and industry entrepreneurs who have something they'd like me to feature on this blog. While some of it is pure crap that I wouldn't dare share with the world since I don't support businesses that I feel are trying to take advantage of actors, some of it may actually prove to be helpful and/or interesting to some of you. So I've decided to share some of these things with a new blog feature: Share & Support Sundays. If you have an industry business that you'd like me to feature I'll share it or, more importantly, if you're an actor with a clip/trailer/short film/crowdfunding campaign that you'd like me to feature I'll support it by posting. Simply email me with the link, video, description, etc. to brandi (at) brandiford (dot) com.

So with our first Share & Support Sunday, here's a funny and quick short written & directed by Kira Hesser called Character Actors. Enjoy!

Oh baby!

noreply@blogger.com (Brandi Ford) — Thu, 25 Jul 2013 09:26:00 -0700

2013 is shaping up to be a whirlwind year.

First of all, if you were one of the people who contributed to our Kickstarter campaign or even shared the link extensively with your network: THANK YOU! We raised over $16k which means Muted is finally happening! We are now in the midst of casting, selecting shoot dates and hiring key crew. It's all very exciting and there's a lot of work to be done but we have a great team already so I know its going to be such an awesome shoot. I'll keep you posted on new developments as they arise.

In my personal life, my little one is going to Kindergarten this year. I can't believe it! Next month he'll join his big brother (who is now going to freakin 4th grade!) at the same school. And if that weren't enough, Stephen & I recently found out that we are pregnant. YAY!!!! Well, it was more like WHAAAATTTTT???? when we first found out but now we're very excited. Hopefully I'll get a girl this time but we have a while until we can find out what the gender is. I guess this means I'll be doing a lot of writing as my stomach gets bigger and I'm forced to slow down in other areas. For now I'm just trying to take as many naps and go to bed as early as possible since my energy level is pretty low during this first trimester.

No other news right now, though I really think that's more than enough. Hope you all are enjoying your summer!

Consumed with Kickstarter

noreply@blogger.com (Brandi Ford) — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 16:32:00 -0700

For the last 2 weeks I've been consumed with promoting my Kickstarter campaign for Muted. I knew it would be hard but WOW! This truly is a 24 hour job that requires a lot of reminding people without annoying people (or at least trying not to). We're hoping to raise at least $15,000 (just shy of $7,000 to date) and as with all Kickstarter projects if we don't reach our goal then we get nothing at all. Please take a moment to watch our pitch video and if it resonates with you then please make a pledge. The minimum amount is $1 and believe me when I say we are THRILLED when we see those $1 pledges come in because they add up quickly.

We've been shown some Twitter love from a few women who have retweeted our campaign including actress/director Regina King, actress Megan Good, Black Girls Rock creator Beverly Bond, comedienne Sommore, singer T-Boz of TLC and my "shero" herself Shonda Rhimes! We've also recently been covered by Clutch magazine: http://www.clutchmagonline.com/2013/06/new-film-explores-the-muted-voices-of-missing-children-of-color-2/.

I have some other things to share with you, including a new blog feature that I'm excited about, but first I've gotta make it to the 30th and see this Kickstarter campaign through to the end.

Muted Kickstarter
Muted Facebook page

Kerry love.

noreply@blogger.com (Brandi Ford) — Mon, 17 Jun 2013 16:13:00 -0700

Love her and her show!

If you can't see the embedded video above, click here: http://youtu.be/uJxQB8uyAHU.

Muted Mixer {You're Invited!}

noreply@blogger.com (Brandi Ford) — Mon, 3 Jun 2013 11:30:00 -0700

It's happening...

Click the photo above to enlarge and go here to RSVP. Hope to see you there!

New Reels!

noreply@blogger.com (Brandi Ford) — Wed, 29 May 2013 14:48:00 -0700

Thanks to YouTube's easy editor I've added some new footage to my reel and put together a hosting reel. Enjoy!

Acting Reel (Finally got some footage with my natural hair!)

Hosting Reel (Would love to book a legit hosting gig. That would be a cool day job!)

Moving right along

noreply@blogger.com (Brandi Ford) — Fri, 17 May 2013 09:41:00 -0700

Producing
I'm back in the producer's seat again. Tara and I hired a wonderful talent by the name of Rachel Goldberg to direct Muted and things have been pretty much nonstop since then. We've posted a breakdown and requested some of the actors to put themselves on tape. We're meeting with DP's (another word for cameramen mom/grandma). We're putting the final touches on our Kickstarter (fundraising) campaign and we're even planning a party to kick it off which should be a lot of fun.

Writing
I finished draft 3 of my screenplay. I'm happy with its progress but I know it's time to get a script consultant to read it. I have a few in mind but my funds are reserved for other more pressing needs right now so unless they're willing to barter their services for some baked goods, I have to wait.

Acting
I filmed a nice procedural scene with my classmate & friend Yvonne. It's still being edited but we were very happy with the rough cut. No audition updates, yet, but I'll keep submitting knowing that my roles are right around the corner.

Headshots
My agents want me to get new headshots and I'd love to but my funds are being saved for another car. As soon as we get a second car (which will hopefully be in the next 4 weeks), then I can start planning my shoot. I've already selected the photographer and my agents were very specific about the looks they want me to capture so I've just gotta book the shoot. In the meantime, my buddy Hugo shot these:

Pretty happy with them! Though I'm really giving someone the evil eye in that second one. :-)

Day Job
So already I'm sick of transcribing. It was fine when I was doing it as a supplemental thing but to do it every day for such a small amount of pay is ridiculously monotonous. If I were to go back to working at a production company then the pay would be a lot better but as an independent contractor working from home, it's low (and will be even lower once taxes are paid on them next year). So I'm back in the day job seeking hunt once again. I even thought about going back to waitressing but that makes my soul shudder at the very thought. I love people and I love food but working as a server can really make you hate both and I just don't wanna do that. I've been looking at Event Sales and Event Coordinator jobs lately and I just had an interview today that went really well. I have to do a second interview with the owners of the venue and I'm hoping to knock it out of the park as I'd be coordinating a lot of birthday parties, premiere parties, screenings, wrap parties, etc. - all events that I enjoy working on. So we'll see.

1st Quarter

noreply@blogger.com (Brandi Ford) — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 09:07:00 -0700

Only one more week left in March and then the first quarter of the year is over. Crazy right?

Well it's been a whirlwind few months for me. In good news I signed with a new commercial agency, Brick Entertainment, and have gone out a handful of times already so yay for that! I was also selected as a mentee for the mentor circles that Women In Film are spearheading this year and recently attended my first mentor meeting. LOVED IT!! The ladies in my group are all intelligent, ambitious, driven and so incredibly diverse that I'm really looking forward to seeing how all of us grow and stretch and accomplish our goals over the next 12 months.

On the personal tip, I left my day job. Well I didn't completely leave it. I still come in on Monday mornings and do paperwork for about 2 hours but I'm no longer an office manager. This is both gratifying and terrifying. It's wonderful because now all of my mental space & energy that was being consumed by this job over the last 8 months has been released! But it's also terrifying because I have bills to pay. Rent's gotta be paid, kids have to eat, a car NEEDS to be bought and let's not forget the never-ending expenses that come with the pursuit of an acting career. So, to make up for the hit to my bank account, I've signed on to work from home with 3 transcription companies. The work is tedious and confidential (so don't ask me which shows I transcribe) but I get to set my own schedule and, more importantly, telecommute. Such a beautiful thing!

In addition to transcribing, I've also launched my home bakery business - Sugar Swag Bakeshoppe - and I'm having SO MUCH FUN creating custom goodies for friends and family. Don't worry, I'm not gonna turn this into a food blog, but you can expect to see pics of any sweet treats I create that are entertainment industry related so you've been warned. :-)

What else? I'm sure there's more to share but that's enough for one post. Hope you're all well and making most of this (fast) year as it whizzes by.

Kate Walsh: "I Made it After 35"

noreply@blogger.com (Brandi Ford) — Wed, 16 Jan 2013 15:04:00 -0800

Kate Walsh talks about how age ain't nothing but a number. Love this!

2012 Wins

noreply@blogger.com (Brandi Ford) — Sat, 12 Jan 2013 13:25:00 -0800

For the last 8 months I've been working on a deal that fell apart earlier this week. The short version is that we (Tara & I) reached out to a well-known actress (she's a series regular who also acts in feature films) whom we read was beginning to transition into directing. We sent her manager the script, she loved it, she met with us (which was SO awesome) and all we had to do was figure out the scheduling. Well since our meeting she's gone on to act in a short, act in a feature, direct her first feature and now her TV show has gone back into production (of which she's recently been offered to direct an episode of as well) so despite all our efforts we just couldn't get around scheduling conflicts. *Sigh* We were SO close! This left me kinda bummed and feeling like last year was a bust until I read this awesome post from my friend DaJuan. Here's a snippet:

"I bet that if you look back to January 2012 you’ll see you are in a much different place than January 2013. Sure you may not be on the tv show you want to be on yet or you did not sign with that new agent you wanted to land — but, it’s COMING. You have to believe that... “REMEMBER THE WINS.” Sometimes we just forget how awesome we are doing and need to be reminded. It helps to keep a list of your accomplishments somewhere visible. Yup, write them down. Call it your 2012 WIN LIST if you like... Anything goes here and hey, it’s your list nobody else has to see it. By doing this you will have a tangible visual to help remind you how far you’ve really come. I’ve said this before, sometimes in our business there aren’t a lot of tangible things to show our accomplishments. This helps calm my anxiety and I can say, oh yeah, I forgot — THAT HAPPENED."

So I got together with Tara and my other friend Danette and we came up with our 2012 wins. Here are mine - mostly career but there are a couple personal ones towards the end as well:

Wrote a short
Wrote a feature (extended said short)
Said feature advanced to the final round of consideration for the 2013 Sundance Screenwriters Lab
Established a relationship with the CD's and associates at one of the top casting offices in town via a weekly volunteer position.
Joined SAG-AFTRA
Met with a HUGE manager with multiple A-list clients
Had lunch with said A-list client of whom I've been a fan of for years and she was every bit as nice and down to earth as I'd hoped she'd be!
Learned that anyone in this industry is accessible - we just gotta get over our fear of reaching out (This discovery was huge for me!)
Had 7 auditions
Booked the webseries Math to the Rescue and the training video ABLE with Group 1 Productions
Booked an industrial for Hertz with High Heat Media
Attended 27 networking events
Had two successful table reads of my short. The first I organized on my own and had a bunch of friends help me out. The second came months later and was part of a weekly workshop put on by We Make Movies where writers can submit their work for actors to read on stage. Both reads were incredibly helpful in terms of shaping the characters and refining the plot and I made some new friends from the WMM read which is always nice.
Did 4 cd/agent/manager workshops
Started a monthly goal accountability group
Had 15 coffee/lunch dates
Opened a business account for our pending production
Celebrated my 5th wedding anniversary
Found a great & affordable facial cleanser (as someone who's struggled with breakouts all my life, this makes me very happy!)
Made my first cake pop sale (yeah I'm a budding baker now, a topic for a later post)

Compiling this list helped me feel SO MUCH BETTER about the last 12 months and served as a good reminder that we're usually a lot harder on ourselves (and our PERCEIVED lack of accomplishments) than we should be. Again, Dajuan:

"Finally it also helps to remember that although you don’t see it sometimes you have just laid brilliant seeds for things to come. Which may not look like much, but down the road when everything comes together so wonderfully it will all make sense."

Amen, amen and amen!

What are your 2012 wins - personal, professional or otherwise? You don't have to share them with the world but write them down somewhere to remind yourself.

Happy New Year!

noreply@blogger.com (Brandi Ford) — Tue, 8 Jan 2013 10:05:00 -0800

I haven't blogged consistently in a while but I think this year I'll be getting back to that. Going too long without getting out my feelings & experiences doesn't work for me. It just makes me feel like I'm taking everything in without releasing it back out into the world and letting it go - and my blog helps me to do that.

So with that said, Happy New Year!

May this be the best year of your life financially, emotionally, physically and in every other way possible.

Maybe next time

noreply@blogger.com (Brandi Ford) — Tue, 18 Dec 2012 12:16:00 -0800

Dear Brandi,

Thanks so much for submitting your script Missing for the January Screenwriters Lab. I’m sorry to be writing with the disappointing news that your script was not selected for the Lab. Our selection process was especially difficult as we considered more screenplays this year than any in recent history. And, unfortunately, there were many promising candidates that we were unable to include.

We appreciate all the hard work that went into writing your script and hope that you’ll consider submitting new material to us for future Labs.

Wishing you all the very best for the holidays and New Year.

With best regards,

Michelle Satter
Director, Feature Film Program

And the beat goes on...

We're all amateurs in the beginning...

noreply@blogger.com (Brandi Ford) — Wed, 17 Oct 2012 12:24:00 -0700

We all want the work we're making to be as good as our ambitions but it takes time (and a lot of work) to get there. This video is such a simple yet effective reminder of that.

Ira Glass on Storytelling from David Shiyang Liu on Vimeo.

Click this link if you can't see the embedded video above: http://vimeo.com/24715531

Summertime & Sundance

noreply@blogger.com (Brandi Ford) — Mon, 20 Aug 2012 09:30:00 -0700

"Dear Brandi,
We are pleased to inform you that your script MISSING has been selected for the second round of consideration for the 2013 Sundance Screenwriters Lab!"

That was the news I got via email about 3 weeks ago and needless to say, I was thrilled! I was also under the gun as I had to send them the complete script for the second round by August 17th (only had to send the first 5 pages along with all this supplemental material like a synopsis, my vision for the project, my bio, etc.) but I've always worked best under pressure and I'm proud to say I finished the first draft in the nick of time.

According to their site, this is what will happen next: Filmmakers selected for the second stage of the review process are asked to submit full screenplays of their projects, which are reviewed by Institute staff. A short list of projects is then recommended to a Selection Advisory Committee comprised of writers, directors, and independent producers who work with the staff to make final decisions.

Ultimately only 12 projects will be selected for participation in the lab and while I'd LOVE for my script to be among them, I'm very happy that this news forced me to complete writing my first feature, which is an accomplishment in and of itself.

(My view as I dropped off my envelope)

In other news I recently participated in a manager and agent showcase at SKS and I've started a support group of actors, writers and other industry folk called 3-2-1 that meets once a month to discuss 3 goals we will work towards achieving, 2 industry people we will contact and 1 person or organization that we will help. I'm very pleased with how motivating, supportive and collaborative the group has already become and I look forward to wonderful things happening because of it.

Finally, as the summer starts winding down and episodic season begins winding up, it's time for me to really get focused on what the hell I'm doing on the acting front. I mean literally, nothing's happening right now. Mind you, that's not a complaint, just a reality. My reality. I have friends and colleagues who are going on plenty of auditions right now but that's just not me. Part of it is that I'm unrepped (my commercial agent dropped me back in May) and have been really focused on working on my short. But a bigger part of it is that casting directors don't know who I am, so I have to change that. And now that I have a day job that I'm really liking and hoping will work for the long haul (we'll get to that on a later post) I really don't have the time to intern. What does that mean?...

Time to dip my toes into the CD workshop waters. Ah the controversy! Yes it's "pay to play" and no, I'm not a fan but I've come to accept that it is what it is. It's certainly not the best or only option out there for building relationships with casting directors but it is a popular one and it's one I'm going to test out over the next few months. We shall see what comes of it.