It was early when my mom came in, I was half asleep, but she said it was something about New York and planes. I sat in front of the TV like the rest of America; held captive by the events as they unfolded. At this point, there was smoke coming out of Tower One, a very eerie image on a clear sky-blue day in Manhattan. I remember Katie Couric and others speculating, “was the pilot just flying too low?”

“Did he have a mechanical malfunction?” In 2001, nobody had iPhones to whip out and blast over social media, so there wasn’t poof 200 videos instantly viral. A few callers said they thought it was a small propeller plane. Having recently experienced that type of plane intimately, in flying from Florida to Georgia in a four-seater, (a flight which I only survived due to a bottle of Dramamine) I got how sketchy those planes feel, because they are so rough to ride in. It wasn’t difficult to imagine an error causing disaster. The camera stayed framed on the burnt hole in the tower. You knew people were dead from where the plane hit; it was an incredible image, but nothing compared to what was to come next.

I can hear the announcers gasping, “another plane just hit Tower Two.” Once they replayed it, it was clear, that was not a small plane, it was a 747. More people are dead and something is very, very wrong. I started racing through channels to see who had the latest. The speculation flew high and there were more callers, but this time there was footage. “Did the FFA screw up?” “How did two hit?” “Could this be on purpose?”  For me, that’s when it started to get real, seeing the home videos of New Yorkers staring up, hand clutched over their mouths, frozen; tears welling in their eyes.

There was this unsettling fright seeing the camera zoom in on people hanging out of the blown-out windows, clinging to save their souls and waving for help that would never come. Your legs could almost feel the shards of glass cutting against skin, knowing that they must have been bleeding from it. I don’t remember how it was said, but somebody gravely muttered, “those people are jumping.”

Eyewitnesses remarked at the thud the jumpers made hitting the ground; shuttering as the impact shook the concrete. Your whole body was arrested and honestly stopped being aware of anything around but the sight of these specs falling; pierced and forever branded by the fact they would rather break at the bottom, than burn at the top.

As the Pentagon was hit and the picture became more horrific, I drove in a fog to class; the terror heavy on my heart. There were three people in class, sitting in the dark, arms folded on their desks, fixated on the news. I walked in and walked out.

My manager at Chili’s overnighted t-shirts for us to to wear, with bold letters, “God bless America.” The nation was one. The most wrenching moment in the wake of it, was grown men, strong, and brave men, with tears streaming down their cheeks, as President Bush stood on the rubble and proclaimed, “I hear you and those that did this will hear all of us soon.”

The country limped along in the days and weeks ahead, struggling to find a new normal. The girls and I still talked about Michael, but not much. He was there some days and not others. It was cold and snowy outside, which seemed to fit the solemn hour as we knew it.

My professor on the last day of class that semester, spoke for about an hour and told us his life story. An older man in his late sixties, he had a history to tell. I could hear in his voice, he saw us differently; we were the class he’d never forget, because we were along side of him, when the world stopped turning. As he closed, he looked down, hesitated almost, struggling to say the words, “Do you all remember Michael? He sat up here to the left. A few weeks ago, Michael stayed after class, he approached my desk and said, ‘my dad died in the towers, I can’t handle coming anymore.’ That is why he has not been here.”

I don’t recall what my professor said after that. I’m sure it was beautiful, I sense that, he was that type of man. But, I knew right then, all the moments I thought had made 9/11 real to me, were nothing, nothing at all.

Micheal’s dad was the jumper. He was the man who was burned alive. He was the man who was on the stairs going down with the firefighters, running as fast as they could; tower two was no more, they knew what awaited them if they didn’t hurry.

Did he reach for his phone to call his son? Where were his feet when they no longer had a place to stand?

I went to ground zero and pressed my face against the chain-link fence. I watched the iconic homeless man play Amazing Grace on his flute, to the vision of the red, white and blue, waving on the steel cross that stood as a beacon amongst the ash of that consecrated burial ground. And every year I bury my face in images and stories I’ve seen and heard a thousand times, for the very reason T. J. McCormack writes:

“We must all remember and meditate upon the evil, the pain, the loss.  We must honor the bravery, the selflessness and the calm. We must look at the faces and read the names of the dead. We must hear “let’s roll” and get goosebumps, we must think of the parentless children and ache.  We must watch The Jumpers and try in vain to imagine that final decision.

Think about The Jumpers.

It is the very least we can do.”

And when I do, I see Michael; I see his dad.

So, Michael, whose last name I don’t even know, wherever you are out there I pray you are OK. And I hope you know, 12 years later, your story still echoes, and your dad is not forgotten.

Pro-bill supporters rallying at the capitol in Austin.

It has been a very grueling week. Just ask the many advocates fighting in Texas over House Bill 2, a bill that would require abortions be performed at ambulatory surgical centers, mandate that doctors who perform abortions obtain admitting privileges at a hospital within 30 miles and limit late-term abortions– effectively making abortions safer and saving lives. P.S. late-term, meaning 26 weeks. Do the math, that’s over six months.

I have an advocate’s heart by nature. It’s something that God has welded in me over the course of the last eight years and I am thankful. Abortion is one plight that pulls at my soul, especially late-term abortion. So, when Texas began striving to pass a bill that would band abortion after 20 weeks, my heart has been arrested in the battle.

David Dewhurst, Lieutenant Governor of Texas, in prayer with Texas pro-bill supporters.

After a filibuster that blocked the vote, by the newly crowned savior of abortion, (D) Wendy Davis and her pink sneakers, Gov. Rick Perry called a second special session. I love it. It’s the governor really flying the finger to those bill opponents that are proclaiming: war on women. On Monday and Tuesday, bathed in burnt orange, protestors whom are opposing the bill, and the pro-bill supporters donned in blue, charged Austin. At home in my room, armed with only my Mac, it was very difficult to sit still. If I had been physically capable of being there, I would’ve walked 1000 miles in the snow to make it on time.

Children in prayer at the capitol in Austin.

I have plugged in with a group called Protect Texas Women, whose whole heart is bleeding for this bill to pass. They are an amazing group of people rallying together in love, which has allowed me to feel as close as I can to actually being there in the thick of it. They were posting pictures and even live-streaming video. It painted a picture of how turbulent this process is and gave a clear glimpse of the battle ahead.

On one side, there were prayers and hymns, children holding signs with big bold letters: I was born at 20 weeks and I lived– speaking to

My twitter post: Somebody get her a broom, toads & hair form a virgin. Sorry, I am sure she is a very nice girl.

the viability of the unborn babies. On the other, was a mostly rowdy pro-abortion crowd, yelling obscenities and scaring children, to the point where mothers refused to bring their kids back the following day.

Oh, then there was the chanting! This is where we really, really get the scope of the scene. Here are a few of my favorites, including pictures and video for full effect:

“Free Abortion on Demand without Apology” and “Hoes before Embyos, Republicans can not defetus”

Yep, you read that right. Classy. Those can almost be laughed off, especially the too-tu (nice color sweetie), but the final nail was the chanting of “Hail Satan”, while pro-life blues sang the classic hymn, Amazing Grace. Oh, the heart-break. The videos have gone viral and have been picked up by several right-leaning media personalities and led to the term trending #1 on Twitter.

Kristen sums it up.

All I could think as my gut tore up at the sight: Have they NEVER seen an unborn baby at 26 weeks?! I remember my sister during her pregnancy, emailing weekly updates of what the baby had developed that week. Eyes, heart beat, lungs, and finger nails– she’s a girl! At 26 weeks:

Your baby’s hearing is fully developed. As the baby reacts to sounds, its pulse increases.Your baby will even move in rhythm to music. Lungs are still growing but are not yet mature. Patterns of your baby’s brain waves appear like a full-term newborn. He or she also has patterns of sleeping and waking.

It also screams the question, where were you ladies during the Gosnell trial? By the looks of it, you certainly don’t know the details and if you do, God help us. You had pro-choice reporters walking in and after the gruesome details were disclosed, walking out pro-life. Body parts ripped, necks snapped, and a disgusting plethora of baby body parts being preserved in jars– in what looked liked a human butcher shop. It is painful to even type.

Testimonies pointed to over 100 babies suffering this death. You can shout at the top of your lungs that this was a one-time thing and doesn’t speak for abortion, but it doesn’t make it true and the blind eye certainly doesn’t make it right.

The bill passed 8-3 and moved forward, expected to hit the House next week. State Rep. Charlie Geren said: 2,181 people had registered in support of the bill as opposed to 1,355 who had registered against it.

Davis, who appeared on MSNBC with Rachel Maddow stated, “If Democratic leaders are not able to stop passage of this bill, I would be shocked if it weren’t immediately followed with some sort of a suit to enjoin its enforcement, based on it intruding upon the constitutionally guaranteed liberties that exist in this country.”

Can’t this just be about a war against taking the lives of beautiful babies? Is the cord pulled so tight and the heart so hardened, that this isn’t something every person on earth with an innate protective instinct for humanity, their own kind, wouldn’t walk a thousand miles in the snow to fight for?

I guess not.

Chinese women are forced to have abortions of their female fetuses.

For centuries the Chinese have believed in the medicinal powers of baby flesh. Recently, The Seoul Times reported, “Chinese folks there are enjoying baby herbal soup to increase overall health and stamina and the power of sexual performance in particular. Dead babies can be purchased in Taiwan for 70 US dollars for being used as grilled delicacies.” They went on to give discrete details of a heartbreaking interview conducted with a local couple, in which the 19-year-old wife of the 63-year-old husband, was grateful for the “medicine” due to it allowing him to participate in sex everyday. If that doesn’t stop your heart from beating this will: Restaurants are known to have “short-rib soup,” code for: Fetus.

The disturbing and grotesque pictures were also included in the Seoul Times article and have circled the internet.

History

The Communism culture implemented the ‘One-Child” policy in 1979, in order stunt the growth of China’s population. Due to males being the preferred sex, female fetuses are shunned and aborted. Hospitals and parents are known to sell the fetuses of baby girls or if in excess, are given away.

Many women that want to keep their baby girl are forced to have an abortion due to the “One-Child” policy. A policy leading the gendercide of girls where an estimated, 37 million have been killed. XINRAN XUE, a Chinese writer, wrote a horrifying and sober piece of his first-hand experience with baby killings. An expert from his 2010 article published in the Economist, entitled: Sobs on the Night Breeze:

“We had scarcely sat down in the kitchen, when we heard a moan of pain from the bedroom next door…The cries from the inner room grew louder—and abruptly stopped. There was a low sob, and then a man’s gruff voice said accusingly: ‘Useless thing!’

Suddenly, I thought I heard a slight movement in the slops pail behind me. To my absolute horror, I saw a tiny foot poking out of the pail. The midwife must have dropped that tiny baby alive into the slops pail! I nearly threw myself at it, but the two policemen [who had accompanied me] held my shoulders in a firm grip. ‘Don’t move, you can’t save it, it’s too late.’  ‘But that’s…murder…and you’re the police!’ The little foot was still now. The policemen held on to me for a few more minutes. ‘Doing a baby girl is not a big thing around here,’ [an] older woman said comfortingly. ‘That’s a living child,’ I said in a shaking voice, pointing at the slops pail. ‘It’s not a child,’ she corrected me. ‘It’s a girl baby, and we can’t keep it. Around these parts, you can’t get by without a son. Girl babies don’t count.’”

Humanity is a precious gift. In the sight of pure evil how can one sit looking in its eyes?

“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing,” Edmund Burke.

GET INVOLVED

The mission of All Girls Allowed is to restore life, value, and dignity to girls and mothers, and to reveal the injustice of China’s One-Child Policy. Since 1980, the implementation of China’s One-Child Policy has led to female gendercide, abandonment of daughters, child trafficking and violations of women’s reproductive rights. Through education, advocacy, strategic partnerships, and legal defense, All Girls Allowed strives to EXPOSE the truth about the One-Child Policy and mobilize the global community to advocate against the cruel methods used to enforce the One-Child Policy.

]]> https://advocatewire.wordpress.com/2012/05/07/medicinal-fetus-flesh-smuggled-from-china-29/feed/ 0 chinease babies aeverhart139 Chinese Woman Chinese Communist Flag chinease babies All Girls Allowed https://advocatewire.wordpress.com/2012/05/02/kabul-attacks-taliban-bombings-in-retaliation-to-obamas-afghan-appearance/ https://advocatewire.wordpress.com/2012/05/02/kabul-attacks-taliban-bombings-in-retaliation-to-obamas-afghan-appearance/#respond Wed, 02 May 2012 07:12:15 +0000 http://advocatewire.wordpress.com/?p=401 Continue reading →]]>

Musadeq Sadeq/Associated Press
Smoke comes out from a compound after it was attacked by militants in Kabul, Wednesday.

Just two hours after President Obama cleared Afghanistan air space, at least two car bombs detonated causing six reported deaths and over two dozen injuries as of 1:00am EST, in the Green Village district of Afghanistan’s capital.

Green Village is a fortified civilian compound designed to provide life support and high quality western style living to contractors who are stationed there. However, tonight it was far from fortified.

Following the bombings, Twitter flooded with live tweets from various journalists on the ground in Kabul, giving breaking news before the networks. Chatter of firefights, insurgent strongholds, and helos covering fire from the air, were among the first eye-view reports– signaling this was more than a suicide bombing.

Car bomb, Kabul, via Gen Salangi Twitter

With the US embassy on high alert, they also issued a warning: US Embassy Kabul advises US Citizens “to shelter in place” as reports of an ongoing attack on Kabul-Jalalabad road unfold.

General Salangi, Kabul’s Police Chief, tweeted a hazy photo of one of the car bombs that killed at least two teachers and one student. Later, just when the dust seemed to have cleared, another loud explosion rippled through the Village.

The fear was another car bomb, but was soon identified as an insurgent suicide vest that detonated– followed by grenades being used by the ISAF (International Assistance Security Force) against the insurgency attack. Bulk of insurgent tactics: mortars, machine guns, hand grenades, and suicide vests– at least four insurgents stormed the main gate of the compound on the outskirts of Kabul, according to Afghan and Western officials, as well as a laundry mat.

“This is another desperate attack by the Taliban, but again another noteworthy performance by Afghan Security Forces for taking the lead in putting down another desperate attack by insurgents,” said Brig. Gen. Carsten Jacobson, spokesman for the ISAF. “Another attack by the insurgency that resulted in the deaths of innocent Afghan civilians, with most of that being children from a nearby school.”

Shortly after, Taliban spokesman Zabihullah Mujahid released a statement to the WSJ, claiming responsibility for the attacks. “This delivers a message to President Obama that he is not welcome in Afghanistan,” said Mr. Mujahid. “When he is in Afghanistan, we want him to hear the sound of explosions. Afghanistan does not want his imposed strategy.”

Tuesday was a big day for the President with the signing of the “historic agreement between the United States and Afghanistan that defines a new kind of relationship between our countries.” Later that evening President Obama, live from Bagram Air Base, gave a speech outlying the US strategy for the war in Afghanistan going forward, in which he directly referenced the Taliban:

“Fourth, we are pursuing a negotiated peace. In coordination with the Afghan government, my Administration has been in direct discussions with the Taliban. We have made it clear that they can be a part of this future if they break with al Qaeda, renounce violence, and abide by Afghan laws. Many members of the Taliban – from foot soldiers to leaders – have indicated an interest in reconciliation. A path to peace is now set before them. Those who refuse to walk it will face strong Afghan Security Forces, backed by the United States and our allies.”

As our Wednesday unfolds, the story will become more clear and pundits will begin to speculate about whether or not this trip for the POTUS was the right call. Sultan Faizy a freelance video journalist in Kabul tweeted:

This will certainly be a hot button question that will need to be examined. It is hard to imagine the CIA had no warning.

Meanwhile, families are hurting and grieving a great loss. Another night to be thankful we are American.

Lets start with some of my favorite video zings.

1) The “Ted Kennedy”

2) The “Bet”

3) The “Truth”

The GOP field for president has shed a few pounds.  Gone are the days of clamoring for your 30 second sound bite. Saturday’s GOP debate proved to show off each candidate one by one.  Even Rick Santorum, who was often not given enough air time, got his opportunity to jump in the conversation and prove his substance.

Right out of the gate, moderators played right into the recent back and forth finger pointing, targeting recent candidate to candidate accusations, packaged as a way for voters to distinguish each republican  from one another.

In all fairness, if a candidate is going to make an attack, he or she should be able to make that in person, face to face, not just in media interviews of self made campaign commercials. Target numero uno: frontrunners Newt and Romney.  Moderators, Diane Sawyer and George Stephanopoulos had no problem inciting Romney by asking him to give examples of how he differs from Newt.

Romney’s points: (1) Gingrich’s proposal to conduct mining on the moon. (2) Newt’s view on reversing child labor laws in order for poor students to earn income to support the family while learner great work ethic. (3) His desire to remove all capital gains taxes.  He also focused on his 25-year business career, a jab at Gingrich’s long tenure in politics.

Gingrich’s response to the accusation: “The only reason you didn’t become a career politician is you lost to Teddy Kennedy in 1994.” The audience roared.

Other notable points

(1) Michelle’s attacks:  Bachman came out swinging at both Newt-Romney.  A phrase she repeated in order to paint the picture that Newt-Romney are inline with Obama policy.  ‘Newt-Romney’ chuckled together, as to show the silliness of the accusations. Newt’s rebuttal, “Michelle, you know, a lot of what you say just simply isn’t true, period. You know, I think it’s important for you – that this is a fair game, and everybody gets to pick fights – it’s important that you be accurate when you say these things. Those are not true.”  He made it clear that: He opposed cap and trade the same day Al Gore testified for it and fought against Obama care. On the attack of lobbying he defended his previous statements that he has never been a lobbyist but was a consultant and as consultants do, they get paid for their service. He explained that his income came mostly from speaking engagements and revenues form the 24 books he has written.

All in all Bachman had the courage to stand her ground and fight the frontrunners. After all, she won the Iowa straw poll and she desperately needs to stir the base that once rallied for her. Whether it was effective or came off as reaching, you’ll have to make the call.

(2) Foreign policy:  This may not be the center piece of this election, but nobody takes it off the table, we all learned that on 9-11. Right or left, we all want protection. The argument is how we go about it. Ron Paul as usual, made his case for our national debt and in return, advocating for withdrawal and also from getting in the middle of wars that aren’t ours.

Recent media talk of Gingrich’s interview with an Israeli TV station, stating that Palestinians are an “invented” people. Moderators allowed the other candidates to comment. Romney found Newt’s comment to be out of line, by speaking on behalf of Israel unless asked.  He also stated he ‘will exercise sobriety, care, stability.’ Newt found Mitt’s approach weak by emphasizing he made that comment as a historian, a true observation of the situation. Even other candidates agreed the validity of his comment, but Mitt’s argument pushed the more politically correct approach. Newt’s response, “It’s fundamentally time for somebody to have the guts to stand up and say, enough lying about the Middle East.” He went on to promote truth and he described the life of the Israeli people, a life of getting daily rocket attacks from a people that want to wipe the Israelis off the map.

Santorum agreed by firming up our committed relationship with Israel as our ally and was strongly in favor of discussing this topic but questioned whether or not it was time to have that conversation. The surprising comment came from Perry: “This is a minor issue, being blown way out of proportion.”  Then going on to put the attention on Obama for his lack of effective leadership in the area of foreign policy.  On Newt he stated, “This president is the problem not something that Newt Gingrich said.”  The audience applauded, appreciating Perry’s stance.

(3) Healthcare: Michelle in her Newt-Romney speech accused them of advocating for the mandate of healthcare, AKA Obama care.  Romney stood strong on his stance to implement his mandate in Massachusetts but was not for a federal mandate and should be left to individual states to decide. In short, he is not for Obama care. Newt responded Perry’s attacks by historically breaking down the idea of a mandate as an idea of opposing HillaryCare. In sync, both Newt and Romney chuckled and confirmed they would appeal ObamaCare.

(4) Character and Faith:  Sanatorium was up first by making it an issue of trust but not making it a dis-qualifier. Paul really believed you should have to talk about it but it should be shown in how you live your life.  Bachman reiterated her faith in God and her belief in character matters. He also pointed out that it’s more important for a candidate to adhere to his or her oath of office. This whole segment seemed to be aimed at media scrutiny of Newt’s having been divorced twice prior to his current marriage to Calista. He seemed to be concerned of the issue and told the audience that he had made mistakes in his past, as we all have, and had to turn to God for forgiveness. Romney, who has been picked a part for his Mormon religion, turned it around making a case as a moral and centered man who could lead America.

(5) Immigration: Sawyer question Newt on his opinion of giving illegals who have been here 25 years and have ties to the community, a way to stay but not give them amnesty.  Also he wants there to be a real conversation about the process, a possible review board for families and also allowing illegal families sponsored by local citizens in order to add credibility to their case but again, not amnesty.  Romney’s view was getting all illegals out and having them stand in the back of the line to file for pathway to citizenship.  Perry who has a great deal of experience on this issue, emphasized securing the border, explaining that all these discussions are well and good, but number one we have to lock down the border. He also believes if we just enforce the laws that are actually in place, it would solve an enormous amount of problems.

6) Love: That’s right all candidates were asked to tell which candidate has taught them something. What we learned? Michelle chose Cain. Ron escaped the question as did Mitt. Newt complimented both Perry and Sanatorium on the 10th amendment and Santorum’s work with Iran. Maybe the winner went to Santorum who chose Newt. I believe it is best to see live check it out here. It really showed Rick was indirectly Newt’s apprentice, a force that propelled him to run for office.

Ashley’s Take:  However greatly entertaining, I want to put the whole concept of these debates in perspective. It is really easy to fall inline with the drama of the race, the media does a heck of a job making it reality TV.  At several points I found myself enjoying the boxing ring, even getting that ‘edge of your seat’ feeling you get as moviegoer in the theater.  After reading all the media frenzy this weekend, it really hit me that the whole idea of running for the oval office has been cheapened. A large number of the the reporting was false or propaganda. The reality is, this is a vetting process for voters to determine who could possibly be the Commander and Chief, the man or woman responsible for navigating this country and in effect our lives. I think it is time to be fair and give this process the weight it calls for.

“War is strange. It can change your life, for good or bad or both, with the speed and ferocity of little else.” – John Wendle

John Wendle, a freelance combat reporter imbedded in Kabul, Afghanistan, tells his blood wrought story of the day a bomber detonated himself, just meters away.  It’s a story of war and the blood it spills, a story most in the land of the free, close their eyes too… without feeling the horror.

Unless you have tasted it, you can’t possibly understand.  The life of tyranny is a world we will probably never live through.  Maybe we see it on the news as a foreign land, a land so contrary to ours that we change the channel to block out it’s very existence.  Is it so horrifying that we can’t bare to look, or even attempt to imagine?  They may not be our neighbors or share this great home of America, but they are human beings, flesh and blood, just like us.  To try and absorb that world, even just through John’s story, could just maybe put a face to the faceless, humanizing the brutality of their reality.

No retelling of his story would do it justice.  In his own depiction, here is his John’s story.  You also can find it on TIME online.

A photograph taken by writer John Wendle of an Ashura celebration in Kabul, Afghanistan, moments before a bomb went off in the crowd, killing dozens, December 6, 2011.

By John Wendle / Kabul

War is strange. It can change your life, for good or bad or both, with the speed and ferocity of little else. In the space of a couple days in October, I ticked off two boxes I had in my head, things I needed to be checked to prove to myself that I was a bona fide war reporter. Then came a third day, just this week, that shook the certainties of the first two profoundly.

Just two months ago in Kunar — one of the most dangerous provinces in the country and bordering Pakistan — I hiked a thousand meters straight up a mountain for five and a half hours in the dark with the men of 3rd platoon, bravo company. We landed in Chinooks in a soggy rice paddy, expecting contact. With no night vision and no moon, I scrambled up and over massive boulders, across loose stone and through thorn trees to the small, embattled Shal Outpost. It was the hardest physical thing many of the soldiers — and I — had ever done in our lives. See TIME’s video: “A New Season of Fighting in Afghanistan.”

I soon realized I was proud of myself. This was something I had never felt. This was something I had done on my own through my own strength and determination — though even that determination was bolstered by a persistent stubbornness picked up from my parents and sister and from the support of the soldiers around me.

And my pride came from not only reaching the top of that mountain with the guys, it also came from simply pulling my own weight and not complaining, in helping guys two-thirds my age up rock faces and in not hurting myself. And there was professional pride too — in trying to take pictures through exhaustion. I realized that this was an experience no one could take from me. It was mine and I could look back on it — and it would help strengthen me in difficult times to come.

Then, just a couple of days after, I was almost shot in the face. The sniper’s round missed me by a half meter. It was so close it showered sparks all over me and my camera as it ricocheted off a steel post, so close I picked up my camera and looked at the lens to see if it had been smashed. I dropped below the sandbags with PFC Cory Early, the soldier I had been chatting with. He had an astonished look on his face. Probably I had the same on mine.

Conquering that mountain and reaching Outpost Shal ticked the box for doing something truly hard and seeing it through to the end. I’ve lived in Afghanistan for two years, and have done a lot of hard things: long foot patrols in Marjah and the Arghandab River Valley in 140 degree Fahrenheit heat wearing full body armor and camera gear; and overcoming the terror of unseen dangers of foot patrols — the IEDs that have cost countless soldiers and photographers their legs — and the ambushes. See TIME’s photoessays: “Suicide Bomber Strikes in Kabul.”

But up until I was just missed by that sniper, they had been just that: unseen. When it happened, a conversation I had had a year ago with my dad played out. I had been talking to him about what the work was like, but I told him that, though I had been scared before, I had never truly felt like I was a war reporter because I had never been the target of any of the shooting I had seen. My head had never been in anyone’s sights before. But that sniper shot had changed that. I can’t even say I was scared. Surprised, yes. I hadn’t seen it coming. I continued to do my work, to take pictures, shoot video and talk to the soldiers — interviewing them for a story I was working on for TIME. But that was the second box ticked off: being targeted for death in war.

With those two boxes checked, I was confident in my job and in my personal life. I felt I knew who I was and what I was doing in the face of all the uncertainty brought by this war and this kind of life. That changed on Dec. 6 when a blast in central Kabul killed 58 and wounded another 150 people, mostly ethnic Hazaras watching the observance of the Shi’ite holy day of Ashura, in which adherents whip their backs with chains and blades to mourn the martyrdom of Imam Husain and mark his sacrifice. I was among the crowd, maybe 15 meters from where the suicide bomber detonated himself. Before the explosion, my camera and I were already dotted with blood that had flown in showers off the backs, chaines and blades of the men beating themeselves in a frenzy of religious fervor. But, in the blink of an eye, there would be so much more blood.

“I saw one little girl stand up, then collapse back onto the pile of her bloodied brothers and sisters.”

The explosion radiated out in a circle through the densely packed crowd. The bomb left a closely packed semicircle of bodies in its wake, as if a giant scythe had reached out, cutting people down like wheat in its sweep. Women, children and babies behind the bomber had been blown against a wall, compressed into a piled and tangled line of blood and scorched clothing.

“Some simply gaped through bloody mouths, blinking in disbelief, covered in dust and gore.”

The dead were dead. The wounded were horrifying to behold, moving or just breathing in unnatural ways through their pain. They writhed or simply jerked and shuddered on the ground. Some simply gaped through bloody mouths, blinking in disbelief, covered in dust and gore. I saw one little girl stand up, then collapse back onto the pile of her bloodied brothers and sisters. A baby lay half on her mother’s chest with her torso and head lying face first on the ground, not moving. It was the Inferno. It was the second most bloodiest day in Kabul in recent years.

I ran around not knowing what to do or where to go. In the center of it, all I wanted to do was close my eyes and ears and not see anymore. Then I went back to work.

I have covered numerous bombings and attacks in Kabul. Once you hear the boom, you grab your cameras and jump on your bicycle (which makes it easier to get past police checkpoints and to move quickly through traffic jams). Then you deal with the aftermath: the slick of blood and intestines, the heads emptied and collapsed like a deflated soccer ball. But being there when the horror of that day made itself known was a completely different experience. See TIME’s photoessays: “Afghanistan Blueys: One Soldier’s Polaroids.”

I am not proud of my work on Tuesday. I almost do not even remember taking the pictures or video that aired on CNN. I know I had to keep working though. It is my job and there were only two other photographers there during the blast. The Afghans deserved to have their story told. And there were others there to help the wounded and carry the dead. I didn’t have my tourniquet with me — I usually carry one to bombings — and one tourniquet would not have been enough. I had been so close to the blast, had nearly been trampled and, while getting back to work, was frantically looking for the body of my colleague and friend Joel van Houdt, a Dutch photographer, who had been covering the event with. I was relieved to see him standing, physically unharmed and working as I was. But even though I had come so close to death, had been part of the bomber’s target, I did not feel the same way I felt after being nearly shot by a sniper. I did not feel anything.

I do not feel like I have checked a box. I do not feel like this certifies me as a war photographer, videographer or journalist. I do not have any pride in this work. All I feel is sadness for all the babies and little children that were killed. Just sadness and anger that people could do this to others.

I used to tell people who asked that the reason I cover this war was because I have close Afghan friends in Helmand–and I don’t want to have to see them run away, die or hide when the civil war begins, as everyone seems to be predicting, after the planned American withdrawal in 2014. The only way I can do that, I explained, was by showing what is going on here and helping bring it to an end — an end that does not lead to a civil war. After Tuesday’s bombing I realized I am here not for my Afghan friends, but for all Afghans and everyone fighting here. As my colleague and friend Joel said to me, this is no longer only their war, that war over there, between the Afghans, it is ours too now, and we are here to try to give them a voice against this incomprehensible violence and brutal rage.

Another photographer, my friend Pieter ten Hoopen, told me a day after the bombing that he is afraid of what is to come here in Afghanistan. U.S. troops, a stabilizing force, are withdrawing and the violence will only increase. In the near future, Pieter is afraid that the viciousness of this attack will only make even more brutal attacks imaginable — and that they will be carried out. I, too, am afraid.

For more please follow John’s blog and his extraordinary photography.

Co-host of Morning Joe, Mika Brzezinski, opened with a surprising line, “a Georgetown democrat friend of mine is voting Republican, regardless of who the nominee is.”  She went on to explain how that is not something you say on the streets of Georgetown… But was something ‘on the tip of her tongue.’

Mike Barnicle, also co-host for the Joe added, “you hear it a lot. People who voted for Obama, who like him very much personally, saying we made a mistake. His in over his head.”

Joe and Mika at Radio City, NYC

It was a great battle of right versus left, and the left ready to turn right.  All due to being so fed up with the current president, that they are ready to fire him.

Peggy, in the hot seat, brought up her opinion in reference to Obama’s big speech yesterday, “at this point three years in, with the economy where it is and the impression he’s made with healthcare, stimulus, etc… Words and attempts to associate himself with previous American heroes, are not gonna cut it, they’re not gonna make a difference.”

Interjected by Joe co-hosts, Peggy continued too hit her analysis home, “there are only two things that will make a difference (for Obama).” One: the GOB implodes. Two: The economy improves. She then pressed the argument, “let’s face it, the economy is not coming back.”

Conversation continued with three items Joe Scarborough thinks are hanging around Obama’s neck: The stimulus, the bailout and healthcare reform, “three albatrosses he will not be able to get away from”.

The debate went on to talk the 1% and tax cuts, all great topics that are important bipartisan issues.

To watch the full interview with Peggy Noonan check out MSNBC’s video playlist.

It’s the third way for veterans or their family and friends to contact the 24-hour crisis line, which is part of the VA’s suicide prevention program.

The crisis line started in late July 2007 with phone service.  Through October, it has fielded more than half a million calls.  Online chats were added on July 4, 2009, and so far there have been more than 31,000.

The VA feels this will add an incentive to contact the crisis line due to the ability to be discrete… In other words, they wouldn’t have to use names.

For now, Bridges said there won’t be staffers added to respond to the texts. If volume increases significantly, a request would be made for more help.

Ashley’s Take: 
It’s no secret that I am past ready for the VA to work on improving veteran services, but text messaging?  There are two sides to this, so let’s break it down.

#1 It is my understanding that most of these calls that come into the crisis center, are essentially vets asking for someone to talk them out of their frame of mind in order to get through that moment.  I am grateful that these guys are willing to call, thank God, especially given that they may not have anyone else to talk to, thus making the leap to call the crises center.  If text messaging makes it easier for a vet to communicate, as a bridge to get help, then job well done.

#2  With the suicide rate as high as it is, it is obvious that it is VITAL to be more available to veterans. But, let’s face it, what the veteran needs will NOT be fixed through text messaging alone.  Getting them help is a process, you’ve got to now get the texter –> caller –> into the VA.  At that point the vet is in the VA’s hands, that’s if texters are willing go get help in the first place.  The crisis center works overtime to help the guys that reach out for help and I have met incredible VA staff that strive to make a difference.  But given the lack of staff to meet VA demands, vets fall through the cracks. My point is, if someone is unwilling to call in, how are they going to be willing to deal with the daunting beast that is the VA? There needs to be a STRONG strategy.  Serious investigation needs to go into how many of these poor veterans that took their own lives tried to get help and were failed. The house is in decision now on a proposed plan of action.  Please see my coverage of these efforts here.

In short, awesome resource for those that will use it.  But my prayer is that we could focus on the ones that won’t, before another one of our heroes ends up in the Sunday obituaries.  They are owed at LEAST that.

This makes sense given the poll numbers showing a growing margin in support of Newt Gingrich.  An endorsement by a popular conservative like Christie just might help swing some votes.  New York Times/CBS News poll stated that with Republican caucus goers in Iowa, Mr. Gingrich was viewed as more presidential, more attuned to their concerns and, overall, they like him better.  However, two-thirds of Iowans are said to have not concretely chosen a candidate, enter Christie.

As the speech ramped upped and just as Christie said, “I guarantee you this, if Mr. Romney wins Iowa on Jan. 3, he is going to be the next president of the United States,” a protest group began shouting.  No, they weren’t shouts of applause, as you might assume, but loud chants of, “Mitt Romney and Chris Christie are part of the 1%…  put people first!”

They were so loud that it drowned Christie out, putting the event in chaos.  After a few moments Christie, in a brave, sarcastic (smart a$$) tone replied to the protestors, “You’re so angry aren’t you? So angry, so terrible. Let them continue. Work it all out for yourselves. We’re used to dealing with jokers like this in New Jersey all the time.”

“What was this?” Mr. Christie said, “Occupy West Des Moines?”

Still shouting, protestors were escorted by security away form the rally.  Christie continued, “they represent an anger in our country that Barack Obama has caused.” He went on to say, “Obama is a cynical Chicago-ward politician who promises everything and comes to Washington and disappoints.”

Later he stated, “I wouldn’t bet on Romney-Christie. But one never knows. We live in hope”, when asked about a possible VP spot on the Romney ticket.

Opinion: Am I the only one who finds this hilarious? Given the option to attend that rally versus another trip to see Breaking Dawn, I might actually have chosen to see Christie get his speech incinerated by a bunch of 20-year-old kids.

Look, in all seriousness, the OWS movement has MANY flaws; their style, how they went about their concerns, and heck even the principal context of their argument is incredibly naive to the truth.  However, this is America, we have our right to demonstrate our beliefs, safely and constructively.  Many of them have not met those standards. In some ways this group has a valid point placing blame on these corporations, but the reasons for them are inaccurate.  We, as a country, should be angry that these failed corporations got bailed out… Not a few million but 11 TRILLION dollars.  Can any of us actually wrap our minds around that kind of money?

Truly, can’t you see the angst and distrust that America should have at this monumental mismanagement of our country?  Sadly, playing both sides of the issue (Obama) by kissing up to these corporations for campaign money and turning around and inciting the country to place their woes on the 1%, is just plain disgusting. Goldman and Sachs, ever heard of them?  Yea well, in 2008 they donated over a million to Obama’s campaign.  Guess how much their bailout was? Oh just a mere 10 billion.  GROSS.

There needs to be blame, but let’s find out where to aim it.  However, the Christie thing is hysterical, keep it up you 20-year-olds.

“We must remember that many who served in our military never lived to be called veterans. We must remember many had their lives changed forever by experiences or the injuries of combat. All veterans are examples of service and citizenship for every American to remember and to follow.”   -President George W. Bush (October 30, 2001)

More and more, as of late, you see journalists and bloggers report on veteran’s issues, covering life after war. With over seven years of experience in working with military and veterans, I’m not writing this from a scribbled notebook of interviews. I can tell you first-hand because I’ve sat in the waiting rooms and watched as vets were dismissed for hours.  I have seen countless vets get the infamous ‘here are your pills’ speech as if they are on a conveyor belt of faceless, nameless outcasts.  And horrifically, I have been in the VA ER and witnessed complete complacency by the VA staff to take care of suicidal veterans.

There are a few VA caseworkers and hospitals that fight and serve these vets, but they are few and far between.

What grabs my heart the most is to look into the eyes of these guys and know that they finally have the courage to get help, but the VA fails to really do any good but dope these guys up.  I can’t tell you how many pill bottles that are given– as if they are candy.

“Prescription drug use is on the rise,” a statement the Army released in their 2010 suicide report, going on to disclose,”101 soldiers have died accidentally from the toxic mixing of prescription drugs from 2006 to 2009.” Shocking? No.

Let’s face it, that is just the Army– counting the Marine Corps, Navy, National Guard, and Air Force– you can bet those numbers are dramatically higher.  Recently the Navy, who provides medical care for Marines, has begun pill “give back” days on certain bases. At Camp Lejeune, N.C., 22,000 expired pills were returned in December. However, these are on bases, where veterans don’t typically live anymore– rendering it useless for them.

New York Times reported in February of last year, “with insufficient attention and systems in place, it may be that we’re losing the battle against military suicide.”

Yet another new report from the Center for a New American Security Suicide, states that a veteran commits suicide every 80 minutes. That is an unfathomable number and absolutely unbearable. The sad part is only 16 states actually report the cause of a veteran’s death and the VA uses data reports that are 3-years-old.

“Better than honor and glory, and History’s iron pen, was the thought of duty done and the love of his fellow-men.”
– Richard Watson Gilder

All I know is these guys gave all. The ones that came home will forever be changed. They have all given their lives. Their story is imprinted and branded on their souls.  I hope and have long prayed, that this country begins to take responsibility… we can’t afford complacency… lives are at stake. Please follow the AFGE efforts. We wish them luck in this fight!

To learn more about the struggles of our returning servicemembers, please watch Lisa Ling’s recent documentary, The Invisible Wounds of War, on OWN.  It is the most accurate portrayal I have ever seen. To see a sneak-peak of her documentary click here.