Aed Forgets

Sorry for the hiatus

Aed@AedForgets.com (Aed) — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 06:09:00 +0000

I had some issues renewing my domain with Google. But I'm back for at least one more year. Yes, we've officially been publishing here for a year.

I don't have a lot of time, Peez is in the shower. I just wanted to tell you that I may be sick. I may have something serious wrong. I have to go back to the Doctor on Friday. Hopefully, I will know SOMETHING, anything then. I have been very freaked out, very worried. Coco says it's wannabe cancer- let us hope that's it. Funny to actually hope for "wannabe cancer" as the best case scenario.

If I die, I bequeath all of my animals to Coco and Kiki. Sorry ladies, but you're the best option. If Mr X-Aed wants Che I guess she can go with him. I bequeath all of my knitting to Gremmie, all of my porn to Reishi, all of my books to Coco and Kiki, all of my shoes to Nastalie, and all of my music to Peez (because he needs a major schooling). If that leaves anything, it's a free for all. Please do not throw me a funeral. Just send out a mass email or something.

Someone take the initiative to delete my Facebook and make sure to check my remains into Foursquare one last time. That was a little social networking humor for the recently deceased.

Aed forgets ten long years

Aed@AedForgets.com (Aed) — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 07:49:00 +0000

I've spent the past couple of evenings mostly alone and it's weird. I've kind of forgotten what quiet was like. You get used to being around other people pretty quickly.

I've gotten kind of pissed off at Mr Aed tonight. He says a lot of not nice things about me to other people, but had no problem relying on me or talking to me. We do live very separate lives now, but I see him pretty regularly at work. He doesn't know how much I know about what he's said and done over the past several months. I am just so disappointed that the person I knew and loved for so long is such a lying asshole. This week would have been our tenth anniversary. I've actually been really sad, but I can't seem to express it.

All relationships fail, until one doesn't. I'm not sad about the failure or my capriciousness and the future. I'm over the guilt. I guess at this point I'm struggling with the reality that I have really moved on, he won't be a part of my life anymore. I have a lot of really good memories, but he seems like a different person to me now then he ever did before. Even when we were together but not getting along, he was still the same person to me. Now he is completely foreign. How dare he claim to have no trust for me whilst he goes behind my back and says awful things about me. His exact words recently were that I scare a lot of people. And he likes watching me struggle through my bullshit. Well excuse me, I think I do pretty well with my bullshit.

I guess it would be easier if my past wasn't such a part of my present. I do not want to leave Portland, but sometimes it seems like it would be easy to do.

No Title

Aed@AedForgets.com (Aed) — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 02:57:00 +0000

I don't even know where to begin. I've been going through so much in my head lately, it's crazy. I just want to write it all fictionally and let go.

When I'm having sex I'm writing it out in my head. I'm writing fiction in my head whilst I'm living out my writing. What is wrong with me that I can't just be in the moment? I'm always converting things into words.

I'm so into Peezy it's incredible. I'm actually a little surprised myself. I'm giving him the gift of monogamy, in a trial basis. I mean, aren't all relationships basically on a trial basis? I'm not giving myself enough me time. We aren't at the point where we spend our together time doing alone things- which is good of course. You aren't supposed to do that at this short length of time. Anyways. In exchange for this, we had the talk last night about his living situation. He still lives with his ex, and has actually been still sleeping in the same bed. That in and of itself doesn't bother me, but when I think about it more and more, it starts to fucking kill me. She hates me, she treats him like shit and she still gets the benefit of having him there with her...most nights. I understand his situation is complicated right now. Breaking up with someone and moving on with your life is always hard and always complicated. But if you're going to call me your girlfriend and expect me to be with only you, I expect this in return. And he understands. I asked him how he would feel if I was with him but still sleeping in bed with Mr X-Aed every night. Apparently this would make him feel pretty bad. He asked me what I want him to do- I told him I want him to do what he thinks is right. I am not going to tell him what to do, I am not going to give anyone an ultimatum like that. It isn't my place, I don't own him. So I asked him to do what makes him happy and still be respectful to us as a couple. So he won't be sleeping with her anymore.

TMI- love talk... look away now.

Aed@AedForgets.com (Aed) — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 07:14:00 +0000

So I could be on the brink of something big. Every day it is definitely stronger. It's nice to be with someone who I can relax with, not worry about anything. We aren't making a big deal of it, but this is not a booty call situation. I did finally have the monogamy conversation tonight. It went about as well as I would have hoped. Basically, exactly the answer that I expected. Nothing is expected at this point, but like the majority of people monogamy will come to be expected should things progress. That is a bridge I will cross when I come to it, in the mean time I will get my fill of what I want.

Sex with him is different than I've become accustomed to. There is no roughness, no disdain, but still passion. He spent the night once. No one has stayed the night at my house in a long time. Not that staying the night in and of itself means the world, but it's a change. And it's sweet. I love sleeping with someone on occasion. Will I be ready to do it long term? I don't know. That would take a lot. But I'm patient and not in a hurry to get there again. I just want to enjoy The Now.

Every Peezy in Moderation

Aed@AedForgets.com (Aed) — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 06:09:00 +0000

So I am very close to "seeing someone". Tomorrow we are going to have the talk about monogamy and what the expectations are. Then I guess it's time to decide if I am in fact "seeing someone" or not. I don't know if I am ready for monogamy. I know there are plenty of good times to be had when you are with just one person, but it has been so long since I've had that expectation as part of my life. Not sure. Not sure I'm ready to let go.

But I am seeing Peezy, and I am so very fond of him. It happened fast, almost out of nowhere. He's very, very cute. We have a good time together. It's so relaxing. He puts his arm around me when we walk. He held my hand during the movie. I feel like we've actually gone on DATES. We take turns paying for things. He keeps me from getting lost. He doesn't mind that I'm quiet sometimes.

He's been in a shitty relationship for awhile that's just ending. I am so happy that I am making him happy. It seems like he hasn't been in so long. The last thing on earth I wish to do is hurt him, so I know I have to tread carefully. Make sure we're both prepared for what we're getting into.

Fuck me once, shame on you

Aed@AedForgets.com (Aed) — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 06:23:00 +0000

Fuck me twice, shame on me. No?

I'm sitting upon my vast veranda smoking. I had a long day. I had a long weekend.

I moved into my other bedroom today. I live alone- I can move my bed at my whimsy. So tonight will be my first night in my new bedroom. The kittens are old enough now- they don't need me anymore. So I gave them my old bedroom and took over the other one.

I hear neighborhood whores screaming. What the fuck? I can't tell if these screaming people are fighting or something else. I'm in an odd, odd mood tonight. Not really a very good one.

I posted this prematurely and I'm back to write more. I'm extremely tired from life. I feel like I need a vacation. A little bit of depression is setting in- it's about that time. It's been awhile. I don't know what I want or need, but something is missing. I was thinking tonight (whilst watching a movie with Natty) about laying on a blanket on the beach. It's been ages since I've done that. At night of course. I miss the sound of the beach and the quiet of the beach at night. I remember being fourteen and night swimming in the ocean. Before I had ever seen Jaws and decided that isn't a wise idea. Leaving your clothes in a pile on the shore, swimming. Getting out and climbing up into a lifeguard chair, smoking, looking out over the rest of them. I would love to go back and experience one of those old nights one more time.

It reminds me of home but that is a place I will never return to. There's nothing left for me there, hasn't been for years. I feel like there isn't really anything left for me anywhere anymore. Oregon is my home, it's where I want to be. But sometimes I long for Asheville or I long for the beach. It's been so long since I've been surrounded by what I'm used to. Sometimes I think of leaving, but there is really no where else I want to be. Even though I've been alone and lived alone for some time now, I finally feel like I am by myself. Part of it stems from seeing Mr Aed much less than I am used to. Which is fine- it was time to cut the remnants of the cord. For people who are separated, we were seeing each other too often.

This month would have been 10 years we were together. Ten long years, many of which were good, but it has been so long since that was the case. Considering I spent almost the entirety of my adult life thus far with him, it seems strange that I barely remember what it was like to be together. I see people around me with their drama and shitty relationships, and I can hardly remember what that was like. It feels like it was one epic lie. Marriage is just wrong.

As suburban children we floated at night in swimming pools the temperature of blood; pools the color of Earth as seen from outer space. -Douglas Coupland

Get your ass to Portland, baby

Aed@AedForgets.com (Aed) — Sat, 31 Jul 2010 23:21:00 +0000

I actually said that to you today. Someone that I met through work, but who happens to work for my company in Arizona. We've talked for a couple of months. You have been my favorite rep for awhile. I love seeing your name pop up on my phone for a supervisor call. You make me laugh, I call you my bestie and Natty gets jealous. It's cute. Earlier this week, we started talking outside of work. Well, during work, but outside of company email and sup queue calls. I know I'm you're favorite- you get to use me as your own personal porting queue. That sounds kind of dirty when I take it out of context.

So now when I get a call from you, it's very, very different. It's fun maintaining our professionalism on the phone, then seconds later I get a text from you. Telling me that you're thinking about me, that you think I'm gorgeous...what you want to do with me. Or to me. I make you apologize when you call me ma'am on the phone. Fucking southern boys. Southwestern boys. Whatever.

So yes, our individual lives are fairly complicated. Yours even more so than mine. Like always. I can't believe I have permitted myself to get involved with someone considerably younger than me with a fucking kid. I don't even care about that right now. I am willing to break rule 24 and the baby rule. I want something more than I have been able to find with other people, and right now, you're the person who can offer it. You're Mr. Right Now.

Hahahahahaha.

Aed@AedForgets.com (Aed) — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 04:07:00 +0000

It analyzed my writing and this is what I got:

I write like
Chuck Palahniuk

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

Sex and the single girl

Aed@AedForgets.com (Aed) — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 03:50:00 +0000

Archived for posterity:

I wore a dress to work today. I thought of you occasionally...because I know how you feel about skirts. I would bend over my desk for something and feel the thin fabric against the bare backs of my thighs. If only you were there behind me, pinning my arms down and pushing yourself against me. I would feel your very hard cock against my panties, and you would feel my warmth and wetness. I want you to turn me around so I'm sitting on my desk and kiss me deep and hard. I don't want to talk. I just want your mouth on mine and on my body. You suckle my left breast because you know it will lactate for you. Holding its bulk in your hand, you gently tweak my nipple until the tiny bit of milky fluid escapes. You cover me with your mouth as I reach for your cock. I lay down on the desk and you stand beside me- I take your hard dick into my mouth, warm and wet. Both of my hands are on your ass, thrusting you into my mouth, my tongue twisting around you as you move...

Anyways, that's what was on my mind today.

“How to Write an Erotic Letter” by Anthony Farrington � RATTLE: Poetry for the 21st Century

Aed@AedForgets.com (Aed) — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 06:49:00 +0000

“How to Write an Erotic Letter” by Anthony Farrington � RATTLE: Poetry for the 21st Century

Bright blue eyes and a nice rack

Aed@AedForgets.com (Aed) — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 06:36:00 +0000

Tonight I got a random text message from a guy I hooked up with once over two months ago. I didn't mind at first, but I got a little irritated after awhile. Actually, I got irritated at his response when I told him I am with cup. I suppose I might be looking for a connection that is beyond casual but before committed. The elusive conditional relationship. I am very close to having what I want in someone, but it isn't quite there. Being too casual makes me think ill of myself. Really, it makes me think they think ill of me. How are you even supposed to respond to someone you haven't talked to in months who suddenly wants a booty call? Granted, that's something I might do. Maybe.

I'm confused. Maybe I'm depressed. Maybe I'm a little lonely. Maybe I'm feeling like an inadequate failure at life. Fuck, was I not happy a week ago? Why do I have to go back and forth like this. I do like my life for the most part. I wish someone else could clean my apartment, but other than that I'm happy. And I wish it wasn't so fucking hot.

I start my new work schedule tomorrow. I get to sleep in and don't have to be there until 945. I feel the serious urge to be alone. Like- I don't want to see anyone at work, I don't want to go anywhere, I don't want to talk about it.

I am tired of my back hurting but I can't keep myself from falling asleep on the sofa. Ok, I will admit to being a little bit drunk right now.

You're home

Aed@AedForgets.com (Aed) — Sun, 25 Jul 2010 10:24:00 +0000

Do you feel any better? Not especially. You feel more confused. You feel like you want to walk away but you like him. Against everything. Whatever. Anyways, if this is the last time I ever see him I feel better. If it isn't then who knows. At this moment- I don't want it to be. I can't commit to that of course. Apparently the person I met isn't who you really are?

I'm tired of being alone right now. I want someone who wants to snuggle with me. I never get to snuggle with anyone. That's what I miss the most.

Natty and I went shopping today. My shoe collection exploded. So did my dress collection- considering this morning my dress collection equaled one and now it equals 3. She is the most fun to shop with. She makes fun of me when I get whiny and doesn't let me get away with it. Yes, I really am that grumpy.

We went to the lucky devil tonight. My former favorite, Alex wasn't there. But my new favorite Gabriela was. I've seen her before but now she is my favorite- she not only noticed and commented on my tattoo, but knew exactly what it was. And she has mad pole skills.

Oskar is ready for bed, I have to go.

Shark Week

Aed@AedForgets.com (Aed) — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 17:19:00 +0000

I woke up in my bed this morning; I've finally upgraded myself from the sofa. Oskar was under the covers sleeping on my stomach, Ely was beside my head chewing on my finger. I love my cats- they're funny. And sweet.

This week didn't go as expected. What started Monday as something exciting and mysterious has become entirely typical and gone down in flames. You're overwhelmed. I tend to make situations overwhelming. Either that or you're a liar. Maybe I'll find out, maybe I won't.

Perhaps I am "destined" to go on alone- very few seem to be able to wrap themselves around me. And of course those who can are just like me. BD. I spent Wednesday night with him very unexpectedly. We had sex twice before getting to sleep for an hour before I got up for work. We had sex with no lights on for the first time. Normal people might not notice that, but we have always done it with lights on before. Remember- he's the best actor in Portland, so of course he likes the lights on. Something has definitely changed between us- we're not strangers so much anymore. He's my number one steady. I asked him if he's sleeping with many other people right now. He said no in a surprised or maybe pleased tone. I told him I'm not either. Only one other that happens once in a blue moon. How often is a blue moon anyways? Hopefully about once a month, otherwise I lied. He said it's the same for him, too.

The thought of moving away from how things are now is not appealing to me. Remember, self: you love your independence, you love your life, you love your steadies.

no

Aed@AedForgets.com (Aed) — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 06:23:00 +0000

Sometimes I want to be a little reckless. The problem is I'm not like other girls. I can turn it on and off when I want to. And when I turn it on, it's a wreck.

Why don't I feel like I have any words left? I can't get anything out of me anymore. I don't know if I have anything left to give. Sometimes I feel like walking away.

The only thing I have the desire to do is lay in the grass.

the chronic over-shares

Aed@AedForgets.com (Aed) — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 08:00:00 +0000

It's 1am and I just got home. I did meet my Mr W tonight for the first time. I made Natty take me out for breakfast after. I'm afraid that he's put off by me. God I hope not.

Here are my thoughts on god. I am an atheist at my core. I always have been and I suspect I always will be. But I believe in god in a different way. God is not a being that can or should be personified. There are pieces of god in everyone and every thing. These things are brought into and taken out of our lives for reasons that we shouldn't try to control or understand. That sounds lame and psycho. I don't mean that sentence in the traditional sense- I'm not talking about predetermined destiny or lack of freewill. I'm just talking about taking time out of every day and every thing to commune with life and experience. Take that people are brought into your life to shape your future self.

I want people in my life who want to take the time for those things. Whether you see it my way or your own. Stopping to think is of the utmost importance. Good night.

I really fucking hate bread and butter pickles.

Aed@AedForgets.com (Aed) — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 03:50:00 +0000

I'm just sitting here in the dark. I slept most of my weekend away. I'd wake up occasionally to take the dogs out and answer the text messages I'd received. I'm changing my work schedule to a regular Monday through Friday. I sleep all day on my Wednesdays off now anyways, so I may as well. Then I at least get to go into work later and only have to work 8 hours.

Che is sitting beside me chewing her toenails. How did I manage to even make my dog neurotic? She doesn't like to be told to stop. She doesn't listen. The fucking sound of her ripping at her toenails is killing me.

I need a haircut in the worst way. I'm bored with smoking and think I'll probably stop soon. I need to start getting out of the house more.

I'm not going to talk about any boys tonight. I spent my weekend mostly alone. At least, physically alone. And it was perfectly nice. It doesn't mean I had nothing or no one on my mind. I look forward to having one of those weekends you spend with someone. Where you stay up late, talking and listening.

Ok

Aed@AedForgets.com (Aed) — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 03:48:00 +0000

Hello. Have I mentioned what a wreck my home life is right now? My bank account was overdrawn by 0.72- I borrowed $5 from Mr X-Aed. I can be so dense when it comes to money. Why can't my other stellar life skills transfer into the aspects of existing that I suck at? Another reason to let someone else do all the hard work for me.

I met a boy. One of my people. He claims to be awkward and weird... and those are my people. I feel awkward typing this, because I know he'll read this. Maybe if I protect his identity enough, he won't know it's about him. I've done a lot of meeting people in the past few months. And a couple of them turned into friends. A couple of them turned into disasters of epic proportions. But you, Mr Winchester, are different. Something is already different between us. I've never met you, but I feel like I know you. I'm not crazy, I'm usually very cautious. But sometimes it feels nice to let myself go and not think too much about reality. We've talked on the phone. For a long time. We had quiet, long distance phone sex. I can't wait to know you.

The dog just walked across the living room carrying the water bowl in her mouth. I think she's trying to tell me something. I just can't figure out what...

Goose Euthanasia

Aed@AedForgets.com (Aed) — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 05:15:00 +0000

I'm not overly happy with myself right now. My house is a complete fucking mess. I was barely able to pay my rent this month. It has been so hot and miserable. The heat is definitely zapping a lot out of me. The dogs have been fighting. Che is spending the next two nights with Mr Aed to have some quality time.

My unhealthy obsession for The Catholic has renewed. Only in the last couple of days. I've started thinking about him again, unlike the last couple of months. Sometimes I want a boyfriend. In my head, I have at least two. I want someone to carry me to bed. Bring me water and a bowl of cherries. Yes, especially a bowl of cherries. Take care of me.

I enjoy the people I have in my life right now. I just sometimes wish they were around more. I've been thinking of BD all weekend.

God I'm sorry- I just got really distracted and lost my thought train. I'll talk more later. Tomorrow. Some time.

Fifel?

Aed@AedForgets.com (Aed) — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 05:46:00 +0000

I had a hilarious day today.

I decided to blow off this loser jackass I recently met. He'd been driving me crazy- it was really annoying. Plus, I wasn't remotely attracted to him and was a little repulsed.

So I got an obnoxious "Hi sexy" text from his this morning. I said back that I wasn't feeling it and thought we should move on. He said "Fine with me. Your nasty" Yes, he even used the wrong form of you're/your. It was hilariously appropriate. So I told him he was pathetic. Seriously. Way to call me out, dude. I'm so nasty you've been swinging on my balls for a week when I keep telling you that I'm seeing other people.

I got a supersonic dog zapper and now it is so quiet in here. It's amazing. Now if only I had air conditioning, because it is over 90 outside and miserable inside.

A Night of Firsts, Indeed

Aed@AedForgets.com (Aed) — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 11:54:00 +0000

Oh David, David. It is 4:57 am and I just got home. I have been awake for 23 hours.

What had originally been planned as fiesta night with Grubs turned into hanging out with Grubs at her house... for about 15 minutes. I was unexpectedly invited out with BD. To a swingers club. A sex club. Yes, we have those here and they are very legal. Grubby loaned me some shoes, luckily I was already dressed well enough. And Grubs shoes were much more appropriate than my flip flops.

I met BD at his apartment. He always leaves the door unlocked, so I can just go in. After tonight- I am so comfortable around him. I learned more about him tonight then I have come to know in the entire... two months or so we've known each other.

We always get going hard as soon as I get there. He doesn't bullshit about being forward, we don't waste time. I love it. I mean, what better time to fuck than right before you go to a sex club together, no? He's very open, very hot and a very good fuck. I came but he didn't. I gave him head for longer than I have before. It had been awhile since we were together- I was definitely in the mood for some... Blake.

We left his apartment shortly after that and met a friend of his (who I later learned he met through Craigslist) at our final destination. She looks just like Kimya Dawson. I mean, a lot like her. I would not have been surprised if she had told me her name was, in fact, Kimya Dawson. It was not. Her name is E but they call her Peeka- as in Peek-a-boo. Because she likes to watch. She got us in and we each got a year membership for free. Like Christmas.

This place is huge and not exactly what you would expect. You remember on Queer As Folk the bathhouse that Brian went to? Well. It is a little like that in places- so maybe it is exactly what you expect. But they give you free water, soda, coffee and tea. Ain't that the shit? We probably drank 10 bottles of water between the two of us. So they gave us a tour. This place is two stories, 10,000 square feet. There is a giant hot tub inside, and two big hot tubs on a covered smoking patio. There are a dozen or more rooms with varying degrees of privacy, A few are closed off completely and have solid doors that can lock. Others have windows with shades you can leave open or close. There's a room with an aquarium in the wall at bed level. A room with bunk beds. A room with a black light and stars and shit on the walls. There are showers, pool tables, a juke box (also free), and a giant theater screen playing porn. There is "the big bed" that sits open in a room with a bench seat across from it for watching, and just down the hall from that is another bed that's a little less open. You are allowed to have sex anywhere except the pool tables.

First we sat in the big indoor hot tub, just the two of us. As we started fucking, people would walk by, stop and watch a little while, more along. There are windows on the second floor that overlook the hot tub. As David fucked me with his back to it, I would see people looking out over us. We were in there for awhile- at least 30 minutes, having intense sex in several different positions. He's beautiful and isn't shy about it. And he makes me feel that way, too. Never in my life have I been this comfortable being naked.

The second time we had sex there, it was on the big bed. Peeka sat across on the bench watching for a little while. A crowd would gather and disperse, a few people stayed longer. As soon as I was on my back, I see there is a mirror on the ceiling above the bed. Of course there is. I couldn't believe how un-ugly I felt. Watching myself have sex with a beautiful man, knowing other people could watch too, was completely natural feeling. Amazingly not creepy and amazingly hot. I completely knew how much he was enjoying it- the exhibitionism, the voyeurism. I could see it in his face, and I know he could see it in me, too. He gave me head for longer than he ever had before, and it was fucking fantastic. And when he was done, and he came up over my face, I told him so. The sex on the big bed was the first time he came that night.

We watched Basement Baby and Skinny Scott (we totally made those names up) play naked pool. We got in one of the outside hot tubs, which was relaxing as shit but hot as fuck. A very attractive black guy got in with us. I saw my first black guy cock in person.

The last time we had sex tonight, was in a little room with a bed and an open window. Several people were sitting outside the door on a group of couches they have. He did the amazing thing he does with my tits that makes me lactate. I tasted it, he tasted it. I was on top and fucked him hard until we both came, virtually at the same time. Sexy black guy had been watching. As David played with my butt and smacked it afterwards, the guy watched. He definitely wanted to fuck, and asked us later if we were into threesomes. A threesome with another guy is not really BD's first choice. And I definitely wasn't in the mood to fuck anyone except who I came with tonight. It would have been cool, though. But I just didn't want to. I don't think I'm ready for that yet.

We hung around all night, then finally gave his friend a ride home. As I was driving BD home, we couldn't believe the fucking night we had. It was incredible, like Christmas.

Remind me to tell you about Basement Baby and Skinny Scott. Weirdsies.

Good night, lovey.

On the Bus Mall

Aed@AedForgets.com (Aed) — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 05:14:00 +0000

I want to get the songs out of my head that are stuck there, and I think the best way to do that is to put into words why they're there. You could also call this my best songs ever list. I don't know how many there will be- this may be the only one or I could make it to ten or beyond. Who knows.

On the Bus Mall takes me to two places at once. To the past when I was young and lost and desperate, and to the present when I am older, a little less lost and a little less desperate- but none the less alone. I guess also lost and desperate in a different way. I know me pretty well. I'm not the lost kid who is looking for herself and all that bullshit. I'm settled in myself, even though I'm not who I want to be.

And it reminds me of Portland. My city that I love.

I sing it in the car a lot. I mean, all the fucking time.

Dear Admin

Aed@AedForgets.com (Aed) — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 06:08:00 +0000

I forgot that I have the ability to dole out email address like candy through aedforgets.com. So, I am now offering them like beads at Mardi Gras. Show me your tits and I will bequeath upon you an email at the much desired aedforgets.com domain.

I've been lazy lately. Lonely and lazy. The hunger and energy I recently found has significantly ebbed. I'm back to normal and, well, it sucks. I spend a lot of time alone, and that isn't the bad part. It's just that I've invested a lot of time in building relationships that are supposed to ensure I have someone available to me most of the time. And I don't. Fucking friends. So fickle.

Here is something I love about the Northwest that I've only experienced recently- it stays daylight until well after 9pm in the summer. It is fucking incredible. The sun starts to come up before 6am, too. It's crazy. I don't remember it ever being daylight this late anywhere else I've lived. I love long days and short nights. Is 15 + hours of daylight normal everywhere and I just don't remember?

I'm sorry I don't have any sex stories tonight. I haven't gotten laid in 2 weeks. The last time was B, another night he and I stayed up until something like 4am smoking, fucking around, etc. My life is grand, even when I don't get laid for 16 days. Good night.

The bathtub, dude

Aed@AedForgets.com (Aed) — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 00:34:00 +0000

It is time that I tell you about BD, AKA B2, AKA D. His real name is D.

Technically we met via Craigslist, but we didn't meet for weeks after we first...met. We IMed and had a little cam action. Nothing much, because both of us have unreliable and stolen internets. There were a couple of times we almost met up, but he had a visitor and another time I had a visitor...eventually we ended up getting together whilst the Pattersons were in town. I picked him up at his apartment in snootsville NW. He's cute. He kissed me almost immediately when he got in the car-hard and long. Way to cut the tension. Then we drove around a little bit and he fucked with me while I drove. Reminding him I need both feet to drive...

We ended up going to see some strippers, some very dirty ones who also happened to be very hot. One of them asked if we were brother and sister before she straddled us and put my hands on D. Luckily, we aren't brother and sister and we were in fact together. At one point we went out to the car for my cigarettes, since you can't smoke anywhere and I don't carry a purse I didn't bring them in. I pulled him toward me as I sat on the driver's seat, I felt him somewhat hard against me. We went back inside for awhile. We decided it was time to go back to his place. We had some fun in store for us.

Back at his apartment we got involved quick, we had waited a long time for this after all. At one point he put chopsticks on my nipple, tied on each end with a rubber band. His attention to my breasts and nipples was intense- he actually made me lactate. So he says. I'm not surprised, with my hormones being what they are. Anyways.

I'll spare you the extreme details this time. Especially since it was a few weeks ago and some of it is lost on me. We did take a shower, and fucked around in the shower. Even though we had conversations about safe sex and we both knew each others non-monogamous ideals, his dick ended up in me, only once. One hard, deep thrust from behind as I braced myself on the wall. Once out of the shower, we had sex and used protection, as we have every time since...and there have been plenty of times since.

Anyways, I got home at a ridiculous hour the next morning. We stayed up fucking until probably 6am, then I passed out for an hour or so. Otherwise who knows if I would have made it home.

You have a lot of catching up to do.

Aed@AedForgets.com (Aed) — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 07:27:00 +0000

As I turned around to face you, you said to me, "I don't make a very good boyfriend." Your honesty surprised me, because usually boys don't tell you this until after they've had sex with you. I said, "that's ok, I don't either." That statement said the most I could with as few words as possible, because I wanted your mouth on mine immediately. No, I don't make a very good boyfriend. Girlfriend, whatever. I would tell you a few days later not to worry- the last thing I want or need is to be tethered to one person. I certainly do enjoy having the same people around regularly. But that's about it. Anything more would be pointless.

So for the first time, we stood outside and got to know each other better. By now, my bra was already unhooked and I took it off. Soon your hand was down my pants and you felt your way inside me. You took me into your bedroom and we had somewhat intense and very satifsying sex for a very long time. You talk dirty to me while I suck your dick and while you fuck me. You say fantastically incoherent things. Spent, we lay beside each other, still naked, and you fell asleep for 5 minutes. (Grubs later found this part amusing- "Heh. Old." she said.) And you started again- and I came again. I was completely surprised. And that is how you won me over.

You asked if I was sure that we didn't have to worry about getting pregnant. I assured you that isn't a possibility, thanks to my fantastically convenient IUD. From what I remember, we smoked some more cigarettes and I went home.

That's the story of my first time with B. And the second time.

Nevermind

Aed@AedForgets.com (Aed) — Sun, 16 May 2010 14:49:00 +0000

I have been a busy girl lately. I've entertained with some regularity. I've also *been* entertained with some regularity. Basically, I feel like I've reverted back to the me I was before I was ever married. I get to do what I want when I want and I can't imagine giving that up. Ever.
I can sit on my porch and smoke. I keep champagne in my fridge, because it is after all the beverage of champions. I even managed a one-night encounter. It maybe has the possibility of more- though it probably won't be. And that's just fine with me. Yes, this girl plays safe, so I don't want to hear it.
I totally and completely savor my alone time. I have absolutely no desire to be tethered to one person and it makes me so fucking happy that I have the choice.
I'm meeting someone later this week for a night of mischief and strippers. Nat is helping me look remotely hot by loaning me some shoes. Yeah. Effort is a lot of work, dude.
I busted my ass on my stairs yesterday in front of my neighbor and a gentleman friend. It was fantastically awful. My hand is fucking busted and the rest of me is sore. Just another story for the "stupid clumsy me" tag...