Affiliate Bitch

3 Mobile Affiliate Programme Sucks Like A TurboCharged Dyson Hoover

noreply@blogger.com (The Moaner Lisa) — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 04:13:19 PDT

It's been a while since I posted anything on this crazy blog, and this is mainly because I haven't had anything to moan about. However, thanks to 3 Mobile and their damn affiliate programme I am now wasting 20 minutes of my life to bitch about these BLOODY THIEVING BITCHES (ummm, am I allowed to say that? Ah well, too late.)

I've been working with 3 Mobile for the last 18 months or so, and if you are contemplating signing up on their affiliate programme here's why you shouldn't bother:

1) They have the worst customer approval rate in the industry. Ever.

In the mobile affiliate industry the average decline rate for customers is around 40-50% for (i.e 40-50% of all sales sent through to a merchant will be declined due to a customer not passing a credit check or whatever). From my own experience, 3 Mobile's decline rate is as high as 75-80%! How can this be possible??

If the likes of Carphone Warehouse, Phones4U and E2Save can approve half of all applications sent to them, why on earth can 3 Mobile only approve a quarter? What's so special about 3 Mobile? (Um, nothing - their network coverage is crap, and they tell their India-based customer service staff to introduce themselves with fake English names in an attempt to convince customers that the call centre they are ringing to moan about crap network coverage is located in England).

The only reason why 3 Mobile's decline rate is so high is because they are stealing from affiliates and not paying out for valid sales. Yes really.

2) They take upto 4 months to even validate any sales.

3 Mobile started using some kind of 'deduping' process which was introduced so that affiliates were correctly allocated a sale, ensuring that no other sales channel attributed to that particular transaction. Now this is all fine and well, and whilst the idea is sound (even though hardly anyone else has this system in place), why on earth does it take upto 4 MONTHS for 3 Mobile to dedupe transactions? With the tracking technology in place these days, it really doesn't take that long for a merchant to identify if the last cookie that was dropped was an affiliates or not.

And even when you've waited 4 months for them to bloody dedupe your sales, surprise surprise, a percentage of these sales will be classed as failed duplicates and you won't be credited for the sale. Even the ones that do manage to pass the deduplication process, 75-80% of these will then be declined anyway.

Was this deduping process introduced so that 3 Mobile had another excuse not to pay out valid commissions to affiliates?

Seems to me that its the affiliates that are being DUPED, not the transactions.

3. They do not track valid sales.

It's not just me that has a problem with 3 Mobile's affiliate programme. Those of you who visit the stuffy Affiliates4U forum will recognise that there is an existing thread about 3 Mobile and how crap they their programme is.

Some affiliates have actually bought handsets themselves from 3 Mobile's website (through their own affiliate link) and have noticed that these transactions are not even tracked and validated! If that's not proof that 3 Mobile's affiliate programme is dodgy and corrupt I dont know what is.

Here are some random quotes from other disgruntled 3 Mobile affiliates:

Top Banana -

"When on the in-house programme I had a lot of pending sales which were over 3 months old, when i asked for them to be processed, they were and all were declined, funny that. I dont trust their in-house programme at all."

Norras -

"I'm getting over 98% of sales rejected (via Buy.at) and most are for Pay-as-you-go, therefore presumably no credit check to pass. It looks to me like 3 Mobile are simply stealing our commission."

Affiliate Marketing -

"when i had my mobile site i actually had a person contact me so i know they bought a phone but funnily enough 3 havent paid out .. and it was a PAYG phone too, so im well aware that they do cherry pick what to pay."

Moshin -

"I had about £3000+ in commissions pending accumulated since August for sales I delivered to 3 Mobile. I wrote a few emails and support tickets every other week and waited patiently to get this resolved. Now I just logged in to my account and I'm shocked to see someone has finally bothered to cheer me up by sending only £58 my way out of the £3000+ in pending, the rest has vanished. I wonder what happened to the rest of the balance?"

Brucey Bonus - "

decided to use a cashback website when making a purchase from 3. The purchase was for a PAYG USB modem back in September. The cost was £50 and the cashback/commission due would have been £11. The sale has today been rejected. The product has been used everyday since its delivery. From day 1, I've been applying top-ups every month - so far £65 worth. This month, my top-up expired whilst I was at my parents for Christmas, so I'm waiting until I get back home to top-up. The rejection happened two days after the third top-up expired - coincidence?"

Tan11 -

"when i had my mobile site i actually had a person contact me so i know they bought a phone but funnily enough 3 havent paid out .. and it was a PAYG phone too"

The only reason I am writing this bloody post, is because I sent an email to 3 Mobile asking them them about their abysmal decline rates and I didnt even get a bloody response. I pointed out to them the existing thread on the Affiliates4U forum and asked them what they were going to do about it. Guess what? I haven't even received a response. That was 5 weeks ago. Perhaps my email is going through their 'deduping' process?

The thread in question is still ongoing and can be view here. Someone from 3 Mobile did get round to posting a response in an attempt to clear things up, but nothing was ever resolved.

Interestingly enough, that particular person Adam Knight, has now left 3 Mobile and now works for BuyAt. If you're reading this Adam, I would be grateful if you could spill the beans about 3 Mobile's affiliate programme.

Here is what you missed!

noreply@blogger.com (Affiliate Bitch) — Sat, 23 May 2009 06:41:35 PDT

That's right affiliate peoples - The Bitches are back!!! You can even follow us on twitter - http://twitter.com/affiliatebitch

For some reason the A4U blogroll hasn't been picking up everything us Affiliate Bitches have been writing, and you will be surprised to find that not everything is negative! Have a look at everything written so far below;

Affiliate Future - Are they really that bad???
Voucher Code Use - Is there really a solution?
Why Newbees are afraid to talk
Too many cooks, spoil the broth
A4U Awards 2009 - Stop Begging!!!
Is Xmas all it is cracked up to be?
A view on click to reveal
The term 'super affiliate'
A4U Bitches
Cocky Newbee Affiliate Managers
How to be the perfect agency
How to be the perfect network
Affiliate Managers ringing for no reason
How to be the perfect affiliate
How to be the perfect merchant
Morals and ethics - Yeah Right!
Networks on a vetting spree...
When is too much enough?
I never have the time = i'm not making any money and dont know how
I never have the time!!!
Sorry, who are you?
Affiliate Inbreeding
Cookie stuffing voucher code sites - genius!
What part of the clique are you?
This whole Quidco thing
The waiting game
You're all bitches really!
You dont get something for nothing
Do affiliates demand the world?
Bonus, bribe or blackmail?
Dear Affiliate Bitch
Promises promises
Hello... Is anybody there?
Affiliate Marketing is 24/7
Get over yourself - It's only money
Affiliate networks spamming
Look at me, look at me
Wot no stats summary shocker
Networks who dont pay affiliates cause merchant not paid
Ask a question and get a real answer
Boo hoo im not making any money
He/she isnt talking to me
I dont think my account manager is ever there
That affiliate wont push my scheme
Merchants email me too much
Affiliate Bitch Takes No Prisoners

Affiliate Future - Are they really that bad???

noreply@blogger.com (Affiliate Bitch) — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 10:56:43 PST

Affiliate Future sure have been receiving some stick recently, late payments, broken interfaces and lies lies lies. But are they really that bad? In my opinion, no. They have always paid me on time, and have always been incredibly helpful with any issues I may have found. You will always find Pete, Steve or James on msn late at night, ready to help out, this I do not see from any other network, but do we applaud them and thank them for that? So what are the issues?

Late Payments
So you didn't get paid on time, yes this is annoying, but as Shane points out, it isn't an issue compared to being owed thousands by people from months ago, a few days is just a drip in the ocean really. Yes it is annoying, but really with the regular payments you should have enough in the bank to tide you over a few days.

Broken Interfaces
We have all suffered with the log in issues, and various issues with both the old and new interfaces over the past few months. Pete and team are the first to admit this. The thing is what most people do not realise is that they are constantly striving to improve this and fix and flaws, nagging them all the time doesn't speed the process up. So why not take a screen grab and send it to them so they can actually SEE the error rather than just moan about it.

Lies Lies Lies
There have been a few posts recently about the AF team members being liars. Well, what do you expect... You speak to someone in IT about a finance issue and you expect them to know the ins and outs of your financial status? Speak to someone in sales about an IT issue and expect them to know how to fix an in depth technical problem? Come on, be realistic!

There was a time when we were all moaning about CJ or TD, and although those niggles still remain, as an industry we don't seem to be happy unless we are moaning about one network or another. Can nobody do anything right for us affiliates?

AB

Voucher Code Use - Is there really a solution?

noreply@blogger.com (Affiliate Bitch) — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 13:27:56 PST

It seems like the whole industry is currently fixed on voucher codes. People using them, mis-using them and choosing not to use them at all. In this post my aim is to go through a few solutions and a few issues to voucher codes, you never know there might be something useful here;

Issues

Content Affiliate writes content, customer looks for code, cookie dropped, no commission for content affiliate.

Affiliate lists merchant, customer looks for code, code used, no commission for affiliate (or less commission)

It seems with the credit crunch and poor planning from merchants they are suddenly cancelling codes, clawing back commissions and cancelling affiliate sales. Many have begun re-writing terms and conditions to protect themselves from lowered profits and the supposed misuse of codes.

Voucher code affiliate loses commission for having voucher codes listed.

Solutions?

Stop all rules, terms and conditions - make it a free for all. Every man for himself!

Change the position of the 'enter voucher code here' on the merchant site. It could go after the main section of the cart. Perhaps some tracking on the first stage of the cart so the correct affiliate is awarded the sale. Perhaps after the sale is complete and the merchant finds some clever way of refunding the difference.

Reduced commissions where codes have been used to account for the lessened margin for the merchant.

Stop all discount codes and instead have freebies, like a free gift worth a couple of quid (obviously merchants need to check their margins)

Merchants list codes on their own site to prevent cookie dropping on organic sales

Content affiliates putting clear bold red flashing instructions on their site saying 'oi customer, no matter how hard you try you will not find a better voucher code than this, i looked on your behalf. So write this one down to enter when you buy your item'

My Views
I don't think the voucher code debate will ever end without an Internet wide change. Voucher codes are mentioned all over the Internet and not just in affiliate marketing, because lets face it many people and merchants still do not realise what us grubby lot actually do.
I would love to see some genuine results on what voucher code sites are doing. Do they actually add incremental sales, after all most do their own SEO and PPC. Do voucher codes cost the merchant as much as they make out and if so, is this due to them not properly planning and monitoring their codes.
With the current financial situation being splashed about by the tabloids effectively scare mongering customers into searching high and low for the best deals. If it isn't voucher codes it will be something else. Will cashback sites begin to cannibalise content sites and voucher code sites or will reviews and content become king?
We are all customers and we shouldn't forget that. We are all looking for the best deal, and in many cases we get better than your average. Cashback, a code and an affiliate commission. Maybe we should all club together and make a film or a series of advertising to explain to the whole of the UK what it is we do, and why it is important they don't aimlessly click around when shopping online.
Perhaps we should all take some time to help the merchants budget correctly and think about their voucher code campaigns to make sure we are all working from the same page and people don't get shafted.
There isn't a definitive answer to this issue. The IAB have worked towards putting some rules in place which has worked, and got some peoples backs up.

There is alot more to say on this subject, but the whole voucher code debate has gone on for far too long now.

Why Newbees Are Afraid To Talk

noreply@blogger.com (Affiliate Bitch) — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 11:33:12 PST

There have been a few posts on the forum recently from people who are brand new to affiliate marketing. They just pop in to say hello and introduce themselves, yet not many people seem to respond. It must be incredibly daunting to log into the forum for the first time see all the big names and faces, recognise affiliate sites who they aspire to be like. Would it really be so bad for everyone to say hello back and wish them well?

We all started somewhere and it it hadn't been for the support of those around us would we really be as successful as we are? There was a time when the forum was a place for friendly banter and getting to know people. Learning from other peoples mistakes and successes. Yet now we seem to ignore those desperate to learn and to be part of the industry we all love.
It really doesn't take long to just write "hello" or "welcome to the forum" on a newbee post. We are all busy, especially in the run up to Christmas, so answering long posts with many questions may not be feasible at the moment, but its not hard to say "bit busy right now, but private message me in a week and we can talk"

Common courtesy costs nothing.

Too Many Cooks, Spoil The Broth

noreply@blogger.com (Affiliate Bitch) — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 12:47:51 PST

There are many affiliates with sites who work with one or more other affiliates, on some form of rev share, or a 'you put your links on what you write and i'll put mine on what i write'. For some people i am sure this works really well, but it doesn't always work and here is why;

They forget
Busy with their own sites, they forget to update the joint site, meaning you have to do all the work, yet are still paying them on a rev share, or for people sifting throught the site and clicking through on one of their links.

What they write is utter tosh
Some people, and yes that includes me, have poor spelling and grammar and will often forget to spell check. This means all the effort you go to writing decent content which looks professional is lost by the shoddy workmanship by your fellow affiliate.

You both write the same thing
If you are copying/altering content from other sites, you may end up both writing about the same thing. This can work well if the content is truly unique, but will just look plain stupid if you both copy the same content.

The Solution
This is pretty simple. Just make sure you have clear expectations from each other. Realistic expectations, so if someone has commitments that take up a Tuesday night, make sure you write the content or update the site that day.
Be fair with the money, if one of you is writing more and it is clear to both or all parties involved, then be honest and fair and pay them their dues. You would expect to receive the most money if you were doing the most work.
Have some form of plan that you can all work to. This will make sure you all write different and varied pieces of copy, or update different parts of your site.

All these scream out 'this is common sense' but you would be suprised to see and hear just how many affiliates are taken for mugs by other affiliates, or how many are taking the pi$$ of others.

AB

A4U Awards 2009 - Stop Begging!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Affiliate Bitch) — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 11:29:01 PST

There has been alot of buzz this past week about the next A4U awards. The Categories can be found here.

Now I personally think the awards are a great way of recognising the hard work and dedication each individual member of the affiliate marketing community put in to our industry. It is also a chance to get together (in a less grubby form) and have a good knees up. Last year we even made the telly!

What I don't like about the awards are the beggers, the ones who are so desperate to win an award they bombard msn, facebook and the forum itself with begging pleas of why they should be voted for. To be fair, I understand why, an award is recognition from all your peers for you exceptional work throughout the year.

By begging you are going to create the following;
a) you are going to really piss people off. Me for one. The more you beg me, the more I think you have too much time on your hands for begging, and the more annoyed I get.

b) you dilute the others. You may think this is a good thing, I see this as unfair. There are people in the industry who work incredibly hard everyday, but choose not to brag about it. Instead they remain modest and get on with their work. By diluting everyone available to vote for you, you are blocking people who *actually* deserve the award. Don't worry though, your time may come.

What I would like to see is a ban on begging. Although this cannot be policed on msn or email or phone calls, I would like to see the A4U forum owner and moderators put rules in place to stop the bullying tactics and begging and bribery which is sure to go on the closer we get to the awards.

Let's make the awards truly anonymous and let the true stars shine though...

Is Xmas all it is cracked up to be?

noreply@blogger.com (Affiliate Bitch) — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 08:03:46 PST

It seems the whole industry is gearing up at the moment for Christmas. Content writers are busy writing content, cashback and reward sites are furiously added merchants and launching Xmas incentives. Voucher code sites are adding vouchers and sorting expiry dates, sending newsletters.
The question that must be asked is, is it all really worth it?
The long nights typing frantically, the long days begging merchants for content, new offers and codes, the weekends working instead of socialising. The arguments with partners and children for not spending enough time with them.
So do affiliates really make their millions at Christmas? Well obviously I do not have access to everyones business or personal accounts. But I can guess the answers;

Yes - For many affiliates such as gift sites, pantomime sites, Xmas sites, code sites etc the answer is yes. With more and more customers using the internet to do their shopping, the answer has to be yes. They see increased traffic and sales with the run up to Christmas.

No - There are affiliates who write about BBQ's, outdoor equipment etc who rely on the opposite shoppers for their sites. People don't buy certain products at Christmas, and therefore some affiliates do not see the increases others do.

January Sales - people tend to purchase larger items such as holidays, bathrooms and furniture and kitchens in the January sales. Tempted by the vast marketing campaigns offering massive discounts, they think they are getting one over on the merchant, and buy buy buy...

Whatever type of affiliate you are, a little bit extra during the run up to Christmas, using good keywords can really boost your sales.

A View On Click To Reveal

noreply@blogger.com (Affiliate Bitch) — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 12:46:59 PST

Is it fraud? Is it good business practice? I think the only real answer depends on who is asking who. Let's start at the beginning. A click-to-reveal is basically a click here to reveal a code. The customer clicks and a code is revealed. Nothing wrong with that you might say. Another window is opened on the customers machine dropping a cookie and meaning that they will win the sale (following the last referrer wins rule). However some people have taken it upon themselves to list merchants who do not issue voucher codes. Therefore when the customer clicks to reveal, they are told there is no code, yet a cookie is still dropped. Ultimately conning the customer and dropping their cookie.

Some people who follow this practice will tell you a different story, they will tell you that by spreading their cookie seed (so to speak) they are still making money for the merchant, without them having to lose money on a voucher code. They will also tell you they use these merchants without codes for SEO on their sites, therefore helping many other merchants by people trawling the site and buying other things. Some may be arrogant enough to not care, as at the end of the day, they are the ones with money in the bank.

There are a million sides to this story;
The ones who write content - These affiliates take the time to trawl websites and write unique content, just to have their hard work pissed on by cookie dropping voucher sites.

The ones who list vouchers - The people who spend time trawling merchants for voucher codes getting frustrated by non-working or short expiring codes... People who seem to be all categorised under the same term - 'thieves'

The Merchants and Networks - These people get their money either way.

People who are doing their own thing and are earning some money regardless - they just don't care.

So the recent decision by many (not all) Networks to begin policing click to reveal is causing a stir from all camps of affiliate marketing. Some people strongly agree with the decision, others think it is an infringement on their rights of some form... Most are indifferent as it is only a small proportion of the industry who are using click to reveal when no voucher code is present.

Here are a few other posts around the recent news;

Loquax
A4U Forum Thread
Sinead from Azam

Me? I don't care... I am one of the smart ones who lists codes on my content sites. So no sales being stolen there! I will start getting really angry if people start attacking what I do to make money...

AB

The Term 'Super Affiliate'

noreply@blogger.com (Affiliate Bitch) — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 11:05:07 PST

It isn't often I stick up for people, but this time I'm going to. I am sick to the back teeth of people using the term 'Super Affiliate' when these so called affiliates don't use the term themselves.

How do you class a super affiliate? Is a super affiliate someone who is active on the forum? Someone who has an affiliate blog? Someone who is a top performing affiliate on a particular campaign? Someone who is a top performing affiliate in a certain sector? Who knows!

Surely a better term for people who fit into the categories above is 'Affiliate'. Let's face it, the way affiliate marketing is moving, all affiliates have a niche, so we are all experts in our own areas. Be it a blog about torches or a blog about keyrings, we all have our expertise and our own audience and hopefully customers.

It must be incredibly flattering to be termed a 'Super Affiliate' but I know for a fact that these people hate the term. They are honest enough to realise that they 'just do what they do' the fact that they happen to be good at it or are able to pass on the odd bit of advice is a bi-product.

Simon Cowell is the only person I can think of who is egotistical enough to like being termed one of these 'Super Affiliates'.

Let's stop using the term!

A4U Bitches

noreply@blogger.com (Affiliate Bitch) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 13:23:40 PST

I have begun to notice over the years that the affiliates4u forum is no longer being used as a sounding board for ideas or a place to make new friends. It has slowly become a place to just slag people off and stab people in the back. Every single day at least one new thread is started with a whinge about this or that. So what does this show me? Are affiliates becoming more bitchy, or with the transgression of affiliate marketing moving to a serious part of the online and marketing world are people becoming more serious about what they do?

I would love to see the forum return to a happier place, and that is coming from the biggest bitch of all. I would like to get back to a place where everyone trusts each other not to steal ideas, bid on brands or any other bad and underhand thing you can think of. The forum should be used as the last place to bitch... That's why we have phones, mobiles, emails, msn's, skypes, pigeons and the Royal Mail.

If people don't respond to you via all the means above, and you truly feel you should warn other people, then yeah by all means let us know. But I really don't care if a merchant cancelled 1 sale out of 100.

Let's get back to discussing how we should all as a team of affiliate bods move the industry forward and come up with new ideas to make some cash!

AB

Cocky Newbee Affiliate Managers

noreply@blogger.com (Affiliate Bitch) — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 13:29:07 PDT

I know I have been trying to be constructive with my last few posts but something has recently really peed me off!!!

Some cocky arsed newbee affiliate manager who quite clearly has no idea what they are going on about tried speaking to me about affiliate marketing. I put up with it for so long until the previous affiliate manager was brought up.

NEVER disrespect or slag off someone, when you have no idea who you are talking to. The person you were bitching about is a mate of mine. What makes it worse is I was later informed you did it infront of your predecessor and a bunch of influential affiliates.

Will I be promoting your programme? NO! Will I be naming you if anyone asks? YES

Idiot!

How To Be The Perfect Agency...

noreply@blogger.com (Affiliate Bitch) — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 13:22:27 PDT

The last in the series...

So what does it take to be the perfect agency???

Experience
You have to know each and every part of affiliate marketing, from the technical side of things to being able to communicate effectively. It is pointless trying to work for an agency unless you grasp the fundamentals. You have to understand where you fit into affiliate marketing. You are what ties merchants to networks and affiliates.

Organisation
You will be looking after a number of merchants on multiple networks with thousands of affiliates. If you haven't got your head screwed on, you are screwed. You have to remember when voucher codes expire, when to validate, who to talk to for specific things, who did what when, incentives, commission structures - anything and everything your mind can possibly fit.

Get Up And Go
Never rest on your laurels or sit thinking things will come to you. They will NOT. Everyone involved in affiliate marketing is busy. FACT. If you think that people will do things for you without being asked, forget it. If you don't ask, you really wont get. Come up with incentive ideas, tell your merchant who needs codes or increased commissions, write copy for the best sellers. Be pro-active!

Contacts
It is true what they say, it isn't what you know but who you know. Affiliate marketing is about relationships, and for those relationships to be successful, you have to work at them. Be nice. Be helpful. If I ask you for something and you cant do it, don't fib. Tell me the truth!!! This brings me to my next point.

Charisma
People remember charismatic people. They are more likely to let you pull a favour in if they know who you are. I'm not saying change your personality. Just have one! Be yourself, but treat everyone as human beings, have a laugh and a drink but don't forget their mortgage depends on you!

This completes the set...

Tara for now

AB

How To Be The Perfect Network...

noreply@blogger.com (Affiliate Bitch) — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 12:23:07 PDT

Networks have been taking alot of stick recently, underperforming and overcharging being the main two issues. So here are my thoughts on how Networks should be... In a perfect world.

Technology
It seems complicated to some and simple to others. All I need is for you to track the sales, and pay me. Make the feeds easy to get and use and have a decent reporting system. They are the most important things. What you do on top of that is great, I like to see progression as much as the next person, but please, get the basics right first.

Communication
This is the key to our industry. Without communication you won't get far. Merchants, Agencies and Affiliates alike all use Networks as a means of communication. So if the network has poor communication, that is where everything breaks down. The second communication breaks down, the second everyone loses money.

Staff
Employ people who know what they are talking about. Everyone can blag and BS but we are all intelligent people and we can all tell. Expect the most from your staff, be happy when they bring ideas to the table. Please be careful, overworked staff do not produce good results! The correct staff who work hard can make all the difference.

Initiative
As a network you have to go above and beyond and use your brains to be the best at what you do. Be the front runner. Do what you need to do to prove that what you are being paid is worth it. Come up with the best plans to recruit new merchants and affiliates, but more importantly come up with ways to keep them happy. Don't get cocky and think you are the best already so you can kick back and relax.

Stay tuned for the last in how to be a perfect...

Affiliate Managers Ringing For No Reason

noreply@blogger.com (The Moaner Lisa) — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 04:45:09 PDT

A few days ago I received a telephone call from an affiliate manager. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Hello?

Him: Hello Moaner Lisa, this is so and so from so and so affiliate network.

Me: Um, hello there.

Him: Well its nothing serious, it's just a social call really.

Me: Um, ok... (Previously, I had only spoken to this guy once for 20 seconds )

Him: How are you today?

Me: Fine thanks, and you?

Him: Great. Would you like me to run though our latest offers?

Me: I think I just received an email from yourselves this morning with the latest offers.

Him: Oh really? Well, would you like me to talk you through the offers anyway?

Me: Nah its ok, I've already read them thanks!

---- Cue long silence -----

Him: Oh ok, well its was nice chatting with you.

Me: Yeah, likewise, thanks.

Him: Bye

Me: Bye

Me after hanging up: Bloody affiliate managers.

Ok, so having an affiliate manager ringing is a good thing right? But for god's sake, the next time they ring, can they actually say something interesting please? Thanks.

How To Be The Perfect Affiliate...

noreply@blogger.com (Affiliate Bitch) — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:47:00 PDT

Following on from my post about being the perfect Merchant, here are my musings on being the perfect Affiliate...

Ego
You may think this is an odd thing to put, and it isn't for once, me being bitchy. Affiliates are in the most part intelligent people. You have to have a little cockiness in this industry, to stand out to merchants, to get the odd freebie and to succeed. You have to believe in yourself and what you are doing, it's pointless going into something half-heartedly. There are times when you will need to massage your own ego, but there will be more when your ego will be massaged thoroughly.

Time
Yes, yes. Another person telling you you need time. The simple fact is, these things really do take time. To build up a decent site, with decent SEO, decent PPC campaigns and decent search engine rankings, you have to put the hours in. Time really does = Money when it comes to affiliate marketing. You have to take the time to sift through blogs, forums, websites and various emails and msn conversations to find out what you need.

The Patience Of A Saint
Things will get tough, you will lose hope in your site/s but hang on in there. There is light at the end of the tunnel. When a merchant is screaming, the tracking goes down at an agency and that last blog post you wrote got deleted by accident, take a deep breath. You have what many people don't; half a brain cell and an extra income!!! Just remember that everyone in this industry has someone else on their back, be it manager, boss, MD, wife, kids, husband... They all demand the best from us. So be patient, put things into perspective and carry on money-making.

Some Technological Knowledge
It really isn't crucial, but you need to know the difference between a website and an idea in your head! The basics are, get a blog for free, get a domain, get the domain hosted and ta da... With a small amount of fiddling, you have a website. There are hundreds of confusing things you should try and learn if you want to get better (unless you pay someone else ;) !) HTML, PHP, SQL, Java, Ajax etc etc etc... But these are pretty advanced.
You should really learn how to create a deeplink with tracking, or you wont get paid, and you should get to grips with a feed!

Creativity
Most affiliates, despite their geeky appearances have quite a large creative streak. They can often be found 'thinking outside the box' and coming up with new inventive ideas to spin and extra buck. You have to be creative to be able to come up with web designs, emails campaigns, logos and ideas for incentives.

A small amount of money
I'll be honest. You do need to buy a domain name and some hosting. It is really cheap and will probably cost you the same amount as a decent night out. However, it can really pay off when you look at what people earn within the industry!

A Gutsy Personality (Or Just A Personality)
You have to be a go-getter. You have to want it, and you are not going to succeed if you don't. Without the balls to try new things, and admit to failure, you will never progress. Affiliate marketing is a family, and we all fight and we all toss ideas around and most importantly we all have fun. So don't be a stranger!!!

How To Be The Perfect Merchant...

noreply@blogger.com (Affiliate Bitch) — Mon, 06 Oct 2008 11:27:41 PDT

I have finally decided to stop being so negative and give you some constructive ideas on how to be a decent merchant...

Planning Ahead
Planning ahead is crucial in affiliate marketing, it's pointless telling an affiliate, agency or network something after the event. Affiliates tend to plan at least 6 months in advance. I know you don't always have info so far ahead and if you do, you don't want to let it out... Get them to sign a disclaimer, tell them to keep it schtum... There are ways around this. For an affiliate to do their own SEO and PPC-ing, they need time!

Choose The Right People To Work With

Agency - If you decide to work on an agency, shop around, talk to people and get a feel for what they do, how they do it and more importantly the results they achieve. Different agencies work differently, so you have to find out who works best for you and what you want to do with your business. Make sure they have regular contact with affiliates and networks.
Network - Pick a network with great technology and decent staff. It's pointless having good technology if the staff have no idea what is going on. Attend the training sessions, these are a great way to get the ideas juices flowing. Make sure you understand the reporting, good reporting is crucial to making any affiliate programme work effectively and economically.
Affiliates - Do your homework, find out who has what sites, talk to the affiliates, we are all human too you know. Pick some key affiliates to partner with and work with them, not for them or against them. Use any analytics package you can get like Hitwise to target your affiliate recruitment.

CONTACT
Possibly the most crucial thing to note down. Make it regular, make it important enough for me to read it, but make it short. Affiliates do not have enough time to sift through emails. Set up an affiliate blog. Use the emailing tools with the networks. Make sure you keep your agency informed. If you do not make regular contact, affiliates will forget about you. Too much contact and they will get annoyed. Strike a balance. Talk to affiliates, see how they want to be contacted, and how often, some like a text, some an email, some a phone call...

Incentivise Me!!!
At the end of the day, affiliates are hungry for money. Many of them have a primary job and do affiliate marketing as a secondary income. Dangle the carrot infront of the donkey and watch it run... Do what you can to make those happy little affiliates work that little bit harder.

Check Your Stats
It seems so simple, but keeping an eye on your reports and statistics can be the decider between profitable affiliate marketing and making a loss. Keep an eye on who performs well, who converts well and who isn't doing what they can be. This means you can adjust commissions to suit them and you can budget properly. It also means you can talk to the affiliates not performing so well and find out why. See what type of customer they have and see what solutions you can come up with.

Be Creative
Think outside the box, just because someone else did it, it doesn't mean you have to. Affiliates get bored of seeing the same old things over and over again. Create a hype about something and you will see the sales come in!

Stay tuned for 'How to be the perfect agency, affiliate and network'

Affiliate Bitch

Morals and Ethics - Yeah Right!

noreply@blogger.com (Affiliate Bitch) — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 08:13:04 PDT

I often hear that the old school affiliates share a love for each other, they were there in the beginning and are still here now. They seem to be a gang of a few who everyone else apsires to be. I wonder though, do they stab each other in the back the way the rest of us do?

At the end of the day, we each run a business, whether it contributes £5 or £5000 a month, it is still our baby so when asked would we stab someone in the back to succeed, the honest answer is yes. Anyone who says different is fibbing. Do the 'originals' do the same? Of course they do! They may be sitting in their big houses with their posh cars and waitrose food, but they still have the killer instinct in their somewhere. They still want to trample over the smaller affiliates invading their territory!

Affiliate marketing whether we like it or not is competitive and money driven. There are bound to be site stealers, code pinchers and people who go back on their word. What I don't get is why some people are allowed to get away with it just because of their status within the industry. I don't get how promises can be made and broken and nothing said.

You have to fight for what you get within this industry, yes we have socials and we are all friendly on the outside, but ask someone when drunk what they really think about XXXX and you will soon get an honest answer. If someone annoys you, tell them... If it gets really bad then yeah, by all means make a public display about it using whatever forms but dont make a fuss if one isnt necessary, what does it do for your credibility, make you into some kind of whiny bitch like me? Really, is that what you want or yourself? To go back to my previous point, do you really think people care what you think if they are making money from it? Don't be naive!

Yes, I agree we alll have morals and ethics and to an extent we should follow them, but if it comes to treading on someones toes, or making some decent cash... be honest, which one will you go for?

Networks On A Vetting Spree...

noreply@blogger.com (Affiliate Bitch) — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 18:10:48 PDT

There have been many posts on the A4U forum recently about affiliates being declined on programs and then being vetted on various networks, with threats of being kicked off the program should they not respond.

I personally find this really offensive. I think merchants and networks should have a good long think before they go irritating affiliates. Affiliates get hundreds of emails per day with new offers and voucher codes and various other site changes. So the chances of them reading an email where they have to ake time to fill in a form to prove they are working for you, plain ridiculous!

Don't get me wrong, i understand these audits, but if the affiliate isnt working for you, it doesnt cost you money to keep them on the program. 'Look To The Longtail' - One day they might just suprise you and have a customer who drops £20k of business.

Affiliates on the whole are very receptive to help with their sites, especially when it could make them money, and takes a little bit of the pressure off them. Being told you do not meet criteria and will be suspended or being told to fill in forms to show your interested still by a certain date or you will be suspended is not the polite way of doing business!

When Is Too Much Enough?

noreply@blogger.com (Affiliate Bitch) — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 18:00:33 PDT

There are a few within the affiliate marketing industry who appear to have their hands in many pies. They turn up to every event and seem to have jobs, be affiliates and be advisors to others. This made me ponder when does a lifestyle like this become too much? You will eventually wear yourself out, and get a name for yourself as the affiliate bike. Going to everything and getting involved with everything cannot be healthy by any means.
Some people say affiliate marketing is like 'a family' and certain people who have been in the industry a while seem very close knit. There are indeed affiliate families. But is this too much. Is it healthy to be so involved with your work that it takes over your life? You work affiliate marketing, breathe affiliate marketing, and if you ever leave the house to see friends or family, they too are involved in affiliate marketing.
Without external interests and friends and hobbies do you feel consumed by affiliate marketing? Do you feel like it has become everything you are about? Yes, you make your money this way... But is money everything. So when is the point when too much affiliate marketing is enough?

I Never Have The Time = I'm Not Making Any Money And Don't Know How

noreply@blogger.com (The Moaner Lisa) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 10:11:05 PDT

This is just a follow up to the last post by Affiliate Bitch. It's funny because I was actually thinking to myself 'I dont really have enough time to write any posts for this bloody blog' before I saw the post itself.

The truth is, I DO have time to provide material for this site. However, being the selfish git I am, because I am just a contributing author to this site, and not being paid anything or making money from this blog, I find myself making excuses and telling myself I don't have time.

The fact is, if I WAS making money from this blog, then you can bet your ass that suddenly I would find plently of free time to devote to this blog

The point I'm trying to make, is that affiliate marketers who make excuses about not having time, are usually the ones who are not making any money, and dont know how. If you knew that by performing certain tasks each day, you would be guaranteed a certain amount of profit each month - would you find time to do it? Course you would.

To say you don't have time for affiliate marketing is admitting you don't know how to do it.

The fact is, there is a large percentage of people who are struggling to make money from affiliate marketing and will continue to do so. Forever. They just dont get it and probably never will.

You've all probably heard the statistic that something like 90% of people who try their hand at AM never make any money, and end up giving up. Thats because the 90% don't get it. The 10% do.

There is a lot to understand and learn about affiliate marketing and there are many facets involved. Unfortunately, a large percentage of people will fail to understand how to utilise these skills to make money. As well as learning techincal skills such as website design, PPC, SEO, copy writing, etc, you also need to have a business like and entrepreneurial brain to scale up your buisiness. Not every one is cut out for affiliate marketing - depsite what the MMO websites and gurus tell you.

Apologies if you're reading this and not making any money. Its nothing personal. It's just a fact of life. I know that I will never become a doctor, a professional footballer, a hollywood film star, professor of molecular physics, or the president of America. Why? Because I dont have it in me and I don't know how. Sure, I might be able to learn and try to become the above. But in the end I'll never make it because I dont' have what it takes.

If you're not making any money online, then get off your arse and prove me wrong - but I'm 90% confident that you wont.

I Never Have The Time!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Affiliate Bitch) — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 03:27:11 PDT

Moan about this, moan about that, that is all the people in this industry seem to do. The most frequently moaned about thing is 'time' and the lack of it. We are all have a life, we have friends, family and most of us have full time jobs alongside our affiliate careers.
Some of the biggest players in the industry who are making the big bucks have jobs too - need i mention Frostie, Ray, Purple, Max etc etc etc... So if these guys can work (or go to uni) full time and still have incredibly profitable affiliate careers, why can't the rest of us?
Why not get home from work, chill for an hour and instead of draining brain cells watching soaps, use the hour or two to write some more content, email merchants and networks. You can't write one blog post a month and wonder why you haven't made any money, then moan about lack of time being the cause. We all know you go home and sit.
You get out what you put in, so find the time, put it into your website and watch the money flow.

Sorry, Who Are You?

noreply@blogger.com (Affiliate Bitch) — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 05:05:18 PDT

I get really frustrated when using the A4U Forum, which give it its dues is really handy for snooping at rivals and just have a nose around for gossip. What frustrates me is when I'm looking at a new potential partner. I go to the trouble, in my hectic day of searching someone out only to find they haven’t bothered to take 5 minutes out of their day to fill in the contact details.

A large proportion of Affiliate Marketing is done on personality, if I like you – I’ll work for you. So if you can’t be arsed to fill in some info which could potentially bring you a lot of business, to be honest, I can’t be bothered to find any more of your details. Your loss!

All I'm saying is that it is nice to know a little about the people I work with, and asking for your biography isn’t usually something I would ask for when discussing commissions. So come on people, don’t be shy!

Affiliate Inbreeding

noreply@blogger.com (Affiliate Bitch) — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 08:54:31 PDT

Two people fall in lust with each other, seems normal day to day behaviour. If those two people are in affiliate marketing it seems the world is about to end. We have all had our fair share of office romances, usually after the works Christmas party.

Why do people get so upset when an affiliate dates a merchant, a merchant dates a network, someone from an agency goes out with an affiliate? Does it really matter? We are all adults (well most of us) if you can’t deal with a relationship and a job, should you really be in a job/said relationship.

Relationships begin, relationships end… That’s life. If you are both mature adults, it shouldn’t cause too many issues, unless you caught an STD or he/she cheated on you with your best friend.

Life is too short for all this should we, shouldn’t we. If you fancy someone, go out there, tell them, have ‘some fun’ with them and take it from there. Its only a job at the end of the day… loosen up people (and I don’t mean that in a rude way)

Cookie Stuffing Voucher Code Sites - Genius!

noreply@blogger.com (The Moaner Lisa) — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 10:38:38 PDT

One of the latest debates on the Affiliates4U forum is to do with the number of Voucher Code sites and their 'questionable' methods in generating commissions.

It seems that an increasing number of these sites are adopting the practice of hiding the actual voucher code and forcing the user to click on a button in order to reveal the code. The clicking of the button drops a cookie onto the users computer, and this ensures that the site owner gets paid a commission regardless of whether the user make a purchases through the links provided.

In my opinion, this is a pure genius idea!

As affiliate marketers there is just so much information online about the best way to make money from affiliate marketing. You're told to find a niche, build a user friendly website, create back links, distribute articles, reguarly update your site with fresh content, take part in PPC, participate in forums, blah blah blah.

But, what seems to escape people's mind is the simple fact that affiliate marketing is about one thing -

Refering people to click on your affiliate links.

It's really quite simple.

More clicks = more cookies dropped. More cookies dropped = more money.

So if some folk have come up with an idea on how to get more cookies on a users computer, then fair play to them I say.

There is of course a question of ethics in this type of practice. But then the question of ethics is nothing new in the affiliate industry.

In my opinion the people who are moaning about this sort of cookie stuffing, force clicking or whatever you want to call it are just jealous....and probably not making as much money in AM as they would want to be.

If you want to make decent amounts of money in affiliate marketing, then you need to think outside the box in your promotion methods. Cookie stuffing on voucher codes is one of many examples.

The Moaner Lisa has a number of sites and webpages floating online. They all vary in the amounts of income they bring in each month, but the best performing ones by far are the ones which are not necessarily 'white hat' and above board.

I dont know about you, but I'm in this game to make money.

So if you are reading this and you think that the methods used by voucher code sites are unethical, then let me ask you a question - do you mask your affiliate links?

If you do, then you are just as bad, and you have nothing to complain about. Hiding your affiliate links is just another example of unethical practice yes?

If you don't, then you are making less money than you would if you did.

Oh by the way, many thanks for reading this post. When you clicked on this site, I made sure that cookies were dropped onto your computer from about a million different merchants. So anytime you make a purchase online, The Moaner Lisa is gonna be quids in...

EDIT:
Here's a quote I just found from someone bitching on the A4U forum:

"The upshot of this is that I am planning to launch a proper user focused discount voucher site as I could not find a single one that wasn't just a very thinley disguised affiliate shopping site."

So is this guy saying that he is going to heavily disguise the fact that he is building an affiliate site? Hardly ethical is it?