Africa Expat Wives Club

Breaking news - ICC cases confirmed against 4 suspects

2012-01-23T13:43:00.011+03:00

1.30pm:

Glued to the TV - don't dare get up for a wee. You could probably hear a pin drop in Kenya at this moment.

The Hague/court say they are mindful of their decision affecting stability in Kenya and the weight of their onerous decision. I know that the ICC has their work cut out - not only with having to wade through huge amounts of evidence, but in the local newspapers there have been numerous stories of ICC witnesses (some under witness protection, others in Kenya) either disappearing, turning up dead or suddenly recanting their statements.

So far we know that charges will be confirmed against four of the 6 suspects...ie. that is the court deems there is enough evidence to make these cases admissable. That they are innocent until proven guilty, of being indirect core perpetrators of Kenya's post election violence.

1.40pm

So far: William Ruto, Joshua Sang - charges confirmed against them - the case will go to trial.

Henry Kosgey - charges not confirmed - case dismissed.

Next:
Uhuru Kenyatta, Francis Muthaura - Charges confirmed.
Hussein Ali, (former chief of police) charges not confirmed.

OMG!

Kenya's political scene suddenly in free fall!

2.30pm:

William Ruto is on the local news at the moment, looking deflated for the first time ever, making a lengthy statement about his faith in justice, appreciation of the support of his wife and belief in God..
The telegraph - click for coverage
BBC news - click for coverage

Uhuru Kenyatta and William Ruto - presidential aspirants but a case of crimes against humanity to hear at The Hague first

BTW - It's 85 degrees and sunny every day in Nairobi at the moment ...

ICC confirmation of Charges pending..

2012-01-22T21:49:00.001+03:00

Here in Kenya we are awaiting, with great anticipation, for the ICC ruling on whether charges will be confirmed against those 6 prominent figures deemed most responsible for masterminding post election violence in Dec 2007/Jan 2008, which left over 1,300 Kenyans dead and more than 300,000 people displaced from their homes (many are still living in temporary accommodation as Internally Displace Persons/IDPs today).   I'm not sure why the overseas newspapers are making so little of this - it surely is the most momentous day for Kenya in decades - certainly since independence. The outcome could not just the political map but decades of impunity - everything.

Charges against the 6 (above) include being criminally responsible for; murder, forcible transfer of population, rape, persecution and crimes against humanity.  These strong words come as a shock to read because over the past four years it has been easy to forget about the horrors that went on in those dark months after the last election; for years now it's all been buried under a shroud of politics - smoke and mirrors. We tend to forget about the victims. They are not able to shout loud enough.

It is a fairly drawn case. 3 of the group represent supporters of President Kibaki and 3 for Raila Odinga who contested the result of the last election. Who are they? Click here for previous post

The public will learn of the Hague decision at 1.30pm on Monday (the accused will hear the outcome one hour before the public via email).

There are concerns that there will be some sort of adverse reaction by the public on release of the ICC verdict - whether by supporters of the suspects, or opposers - depending on the outcome - street protests etc. The British foreign office have sent their usual warning to avoid public gatherings/demonstrations etc. However, I suspect that all will be peaceful - whatever the outcome, there is bound to be a sense of relief. And afterall, who will want to organise a politically charged demonstration when those on the stand are accused of manipulating the emotions of the masses to serve their own political ends? In fact, how strong is the public support for these 6? How much do people really care for them?  And how organised are the near to silent victims if the suspects are acquitted? Would they really demonstrate?

Meanwhile, it seems that all 6 suspects are confident that they will be exonerated tomorrow. They've been maintaining a high profile today, attending church services (perhaps seeking divine intervention?), and being followed by the press, smiling and dancing in public rallies. Behind those smiles, there must be nerves cracking through.

Two of the suspects, William Ruto and Uhuru Kenyatta, plan to run for president this year (assuming that there will be elections this December - but that's another story) and they maintain that they will not be knocked off course, even if charges are confirmed against them. In fact, they are two of the key presidential aspirants in the race. However, it's complicated. If they do have a court case hanging over them and charges are confirmed, this will undoubtedly change the political outlook for the next government. For more from the local press; The Standard, click here

Ironically, Uhuru (grandson of Kenya's first president) and Ruto, have formed a strong alliance since belonging to totally opposing sides during the last election - how fickle politics is. Uhuru was allied to the current President Kibaki, and Ruto to Raila Odinga. Many question why Kibaki and Odinga were not called into the Hague investigation since they must have known a little of what was going on. Are the 6 scapegoats/fall guys. Ruto and Uhuru plan to be together in a hotel in town, along with fellow MPs, to watch the verdict read out and then hurriedly work out their next step. Legally they are allowed to continue their race for president, even if they do have a court case hanging over their head - but the reality may be that few will be willing to put too much faith in them. Surely their integrity will have been compromised.

Francis Muthaura, Head of Public Service is one of the most powerful members of Kibaki's cabinet today. Hussein Alli, former police chief and current postmaster general - may well have to resign. We are still waiting to hear what the outcome is over the Nancy Baraza case (the deputy Chief Justice who pinched the security guard's nose and threatened her with a gun..?!). The age of impunity is becoming increasingly difficult to uphold.

My question is, (and I had the same question in the Amanda Knox case) - if those 6 are acquitted, therefore not responsible for organsing the violence after the last election - and the public perception here is that the violence very much was organised - then who is? Mr Nobody I suspect.

Trivia - traffic, school and snow

2012-01-19T14:11:00.000+03:00

Temporarily, we have had to re-think our daily routine. Why? Because school swimming training has begun. It's complicated. My husband is not only taking a packed lunch but a packed breakfast to work. Forward planning is necessary. Invariably things get forgotten. Yesterday our middle daughter forgot to pack her school socks (she managed to borrow some). The day before, my husband forgot his lunch.

The children are supposed to report to the school pool at 6.30am, dive in and swim a gazillion lengths. It's only just getting light in Nairobi at 6.30am, so the children have been driven to school in the dark. This, for us, this is a new state of craziness (we were already getting them up and out pretty early) - but each cloud has a silver lining. There's far less traffic at 6am, so their route to school takes half the usual time. Traffic is getting so dreadful in this city that getting up in the dark is the only answer to beat commuting time. As long as we forego alcohol, put a line through our social life and make sure we are in bed by 9.30pm - then it's fine...

****

Our eldest daughter recently returned from her much anticipated school skiing trip. It was an enormous success. Many of the 35 children had never seen snow before. Apparently there were lots of expressions of; “Wow, this is so not like the snow in SkiDubai”. (funny). It brought memories flooding back of when we showed our three snow for the first time a couple of years ago. I can just remember their astonishment when they realised that snow was actually wet! Wet trousers, freezing hands. Convincing them in centrally heated rooms that yes, they WILL need their coats!

When my husband first saw snow, he was in his teens. When the teacher caught him gazing out of the window at snow falling, he was reprimanded.

“But it’s snowing,” my husband said. A friend of his helpfully piped,

“He’s never seen snow before, Sir.”

So they stopped the French class and let everyone go outside, especially to see him experience snow for the first time ever.

(BTW Are you not loving the David Attenborough Frozen Planet series showing on DSTV on Monday nights?)

When she got back, because their flight arrived late, my daughter was given a day off school. It was a sweltering hot afternoon and as I lead her through the local shops/dukas to run errands such as; nip to the hardwarem return the dvd to the shop in the basement next to the stinky downstairs bar that always has a TV blaring, and then outside, past the poor woman in a wheelchair, hawkers with flowers, fruit and second hand clothes, broken pavement, dust, beggars and so on, to find Daniel who has glazed eyes and shaky hands and a bandage (which intrigued my daughter), so that I could swap the dodgy dvds (not working) that we’d bought from him on Saturday. I asked her, “are you having a little bit of a culture shock?” She nodded.

Karen Blixen and Denys Finch Hatton's grave today

2012-01-18T20:18:00.000+03:00

Karen Blixen's former house in Nairobi

Having lived in Nairobi for years now, the Karen Blixen legend is still as enduring as ever. When I first moved to the area, I absolutely loved visiting Karen Blixen’s house which has been wonderfully preserved with some beautiful antiques (other items are reproduction, I think many are from the movie), a wide veranda, old outdoor kitchen with original utensils and then a rolling lawn with a view of the hills that does not ever disappoint. The house is small, but packed with atmosphere, the smell of polish, wood panelling, animal skins laid over creaking floorboards, fresh flowers and sunlight seeking its way through gauzy curtains into darkened rooms. I used to like visiting the house at the end of the day when there were few other visitors and often went alone and wonder how on earth Meryl Streep and Robert Redford fitted into that narrow bed.. but I have to admit, it’s years since I’ve been inside the house now.

Karen Blixen's bedroom

Although many of those 1930s characters who lived in Kenya were pretty dissolute and not very much to be admired, I still think it’s a shame that many 1930s colonial buildings are gradually being eradicated; either left to fall into ruin in the countryside or being sacrificed in the face of Nairobi’s aggressive building boom where any square acreage is being cleared for offices, apartments or town house complexes. You do still see the odd old house on a half acre plot, with quirky low tiled roofs tucked behind Chiromo road (one of these used to belong to Ewart Grogan), cowering beneath the spectre of road construction work going on around Museum Hill on a massive scale – but these are few and far between. While progress is undoubtedly a good thing, a peep into the past is also fun. The Macmillan library in the centre of town is still very much on my wish list of places to visit – but I’m not sure what I’d find if I tried going there today. (Do let me know if you have been there anyone?)

Anyway, in the holidays, we went in search of Finch Hatton’s grave. Fortunately my husband had already passed by there on one of his boys motorbike forays, so he knew roughly where it was located and also knew that the road around the foot of the Ngong Hills had been recently graded (smoothed out). My mum who was visiting from England was dead keen to go find the grave – she’s an absolute hound for any kind of local history, so we decided to visit the grave then follow up with a picnic on the Ngong Hills on New Year’s Day. To be honest I was also keen. I love the Meryl Streep/Robert Redford film and remember clearly weeping buckets during the funeral scene at the end.

Sign to Denys Finch Hatton's grave/memorial

When we reached the bumpy track that leads vertically upwards with a roughly paint daubed sign, I wimped out and decided to park at the bottom – Unfortunately for them, I had two children in the car and my Dad. My husband, in another car (we had the dogs with us too) motored up happily and pulled into a large grassy field while my father and I literally dragged the younger two behind us up the slope to the smallholding where the grave is located. While scaling the steep hill, I said to my youngest (6) – look, those children are walking quite happily (admittedly downhill) – to which she replied - but they are USED to it! (I’m not sure how I felt about that comment!) Nonsense, I said.

In fact, it was only a 5 minute walk from the bigger road. When we reached the top and turned in to the farm, there was a lady to greet us wearing in a blue woollen hat and knee length skirt. She said that she lived there with her granny and personally tends and manages the grave site – (as well as charging 300 shillings entry per adult).

Secret garden, entrance to the memorial today

The lady had some printed out information about Denys Finch Hatton – she said that there was so much information on the internet on Denys – that she’d decided on one story only. Sensible, I thought, but I was hot (after the climb) and a bit bothered, so didn’t read the info. Instead, without preamble and having been given a hand written receipt for 1,200/ for 4 of us (the kids went in free), we were led to an unprepossessing corrugated iron door in a high hedge. This was a far cry from the open plains where lion once lay on the grave; it was more like ‘The Secret Garden’.

The obelisk

Once inside, the 12 foot obelisk and plinth were dwarfed by a hedge that ran all around the postage stamp sized plot. Although the granddaughter had indeed made a good attempt at gardening around it, the original brass plaque has been replaced by a blue one and the overall impression was claustrophobic. If you stand on the plinth and crane your neck to the left, then there is a gap in the hedge big enough to give you a glimpse of the breathtaking view that once would have lain out in front of and all around the grave. I wondered if Denys was turning in his grave – My Mum said that he probably would have been happy that the place was being well looked after.

Lions on Denys Finch Hatton's Ngong Hills grave (from the movie)

Our picnic was a success, if a little rushed. Up on the top of the windy Ngongs we frazzled in the blazing sun. The dogs, once finally out of the car, sniffed around distractedly but didn't stray far. There were some boys who were selling Masai trinkets and a couple of other picnic-ing families up there too. We then drove the length of the winding road behind the Ngong Hills, where, eerily, we saw a plaque commemorating one of former President Kenyatta’s political adversary’s whose dead body was ‘found’ there.

Nairobi tour ideas for history buffs:

The National Museum on Museum Hill (suggested reading; ‘A guide to the Birds of East Africa.’ A novel by Nicholas Grayson . The museum still organise bird watching walks and lectures)

The railway museum (see the actual carriage where a man was pulled to his death by a lion in Tsavo on the lunatic express) – previous post: Down at the Station - man eating lions of Tsavo

Karen Blixen museum (full of atmosphere – try and visit low season when there are fewer coach loads of tourists)

Finch Hatton’s grave – if you are up for an off the beaten track adventure.

The Norfolk/Stanley hotels. Both have original long bar areas.

Happy New Year in Nairobi - Security threats nothwithstanding...

2012-01-13T12:31:00.001+03:00

This update is so long overdue, I hardly know where to begin... apologies for that..

We've had a couple of tentative emails and text messages asking if we are alright in Kenya - particularly in view of the recent scaling up of the security threat/foreign office travel advisory. In fact, in Kenya we are very much alright, security threats notwithstanding. The sun in shining. After a mega sized 'short' rains in November which lasted 6 weeks, the country is looking particularly green and beautiful for this time of year. In previous years, the drought has meant that this time of year has been particularly dusty and desperate - as cows are herded into the Nairobi city centre in search of any remaining pastures and there are food shortages, but this year, dams for hydroelectric power are full of water, although the rains damaged some crops we are not in bad shape on that front. The Kenya shilling is thankfully back under control (1$-87 Kshs), we still have a cooking gas shortage but petrol prices are due to drop a little next week.

For me, the run up to christmas was the usual whirl of visitors, children at home and then ordering hams and turkeys that turn out to be so enormous that you have no idea how you are ever going to eat it...but somehow you do. Thinking about what to give everyone for a present - sadly, due to my distracted state, my husband ended up with precisely nothing for Christmas from me - a fact that I'm more than ashamed of and plan to rectify for his birthday next month - that is.. if I get my act together of course.

Obviously, living here, there's not just your own family to consider with regard to gifts, but also the people who work in our house. As well as the usual xmas bonus, Nakumatt vouchers are always a good idea as they can be cashed in all over the country and this year I gave solar powered light sets to our house staff before they headed out of Nairobi to visit family over the holiday period. These apparently were gratefully received at the other end. There are loads of portable solar lights on the market these days, and most sets can charge a mobile phone from the solar powered battery too. You would be amazed how few people in rural Kenya have access to the grid and since the price of kerosene for small lamps has gone through the roof, many people are forced to resort to sitting in the dark in the evenings at the moment.....and it gets dark early here...

In Nairobi, the number of random security checks have been stepped up - particularly on arrival at shopping centres. Foreign office staff have been advised to spend no more than 20 minutes in such places (where possible) - I honestly don't see how this advice makes any sense at all - who knows which minute is going to be an unlucky one if disaster does strike? The majority of people are just continuing life as usual while keeping fingers quietly crossed. There was an interesting BBC report that said that Nairobi and indeed Kenya is such a cosmopolitan melting pot, made up of so many cultures mixed together, Kenyan, East African, Western, Asian, Arab - that it's almost impossible to keep an eye on what is going on.

I've been watching the story of Nancy Baraza (known for her fiery temper), acting deputy Chief Justice - with utmost interest. She is reported to have insulted a female security officer at Village Market on New Year's eve, when she was asked to undergo a routine security check on entry. Apparently Nancy pinched the security woman's nose then threatened her with a gun (which of course Ms Baraza denies) - sadly for Nancy - the CCTV cameras were running. The whole incident has now gone to court - her career hangs in the balance. The security officer is sticking to her guns. We also find out this month (before the 20th Jan) whether or not the 6 leading figures accused of organising 2007/8 post election violence - will have charges confirmed against them or dropped. A couple of them are planning to run for presidency in the upcoming 2012 elections. Can't wait to find out what happens!

UK dash - secondary schools

2011-12-07T15:28:00.000+03:00

We’ve had a solid month of rain here in Kenya – of the like, I’ve never seen before. Roads are more potholed than ever, storm drains flooded, rainfall records for the past ten years have been broken. Each day of November brought with it giant rain storms, threatening black clouds and thunder, or else a drizzling mist of rain all day. So, in this wet weather, with roof leaking and power outages of up to 12 hours per time, my husband and I decided to escape to England for a week, ostensibly to look at secondary schools. It was something I thought we would never get around to doing, but when my parents-in-law (heroically) offered to babysit and we realised we had enough air miles for two return flights, we figured - why not?

So what if we are in the midst of the biggest financial crisis of all time - global upheaval, the euro on the brink, UK parents selling the family silver to afford school feels - to hell with it - why not? (We must be mad)

As you can imagine, there is peer pressure . You may think that sending your kids back to UK is just a British expat thing, but it’s actually also a Kenyan trend to send your kids overseas for the best education that you can afford (UK, the States, Canada, Switzerland). However, you may be asking yourself at this point, why, if we need to scrabble around for air miles to go back to England, do we have the gall to consider UK private schools that cost up to £10,000 a term? It’s a good question.

I think that the 7 schools that we visited were bemused by our ramshackle arrival too. While in Kenya I had made appointments willy nilly in order to make the most of our trip, our appointment schedule kept changing (hang on a minute, which Cheltenham had we booked to see? Cheltenham Ladies or the other one? I wasn’t sure) – admittedly I/we’d not done much research beyond looking at a few websites and borrowing a friend’s copy of ‘The Good Schools Guide’. There were a couple of schools that we really wanted to see, others were schools we were just curious about or happened to be driving past (useful for comparison, I thought).

To add to my woefully bad planning, my husband’s Movember beard that has now become something of a bushy fixture (I keep reminding him that we are in December), joined with the fact that he insisted on wearing what he calls his khaki green ‘protester’s’ coat to all our appointments because frankly, it’s the only coat he’s got - must have combined to make an odd impression. I didn’t do much better. The only waterproof coat I own is a fake leather brown jacket.

The first school we arrived at (direct from Heathrow after a night flight - fuzzy mouthed) was my old school. It was an open day. The other prospective parents were wearing exactly what my mum and dad used to wear back in the day when I was at school – red cords, tweed jackets and/or skirts, Guernsey jumpers. It was like we’d stepped back in time.

I won’t bore you with the details, but all the schools were great. They all had overwhelmingly good facilities - with theatres, indoor pools, sports centres, gyms, stunning historic buildings, extensive grounds - almost everyone had a new science block, half a dozen master’s or teachers per subject (all willing to indulge us with a chat), jolly matrons and lovely students were selected to show us round. I did notice that the girls tended to wear thick foundation and short skirts at co-ed schools, whereas at all-girls schools they didn’t bother, but other than that, they were similarly good.

We returned to a knackered but resilient Granny and Grandad who had clocked up two hours in solid traffic on the return journey of one school run and also managed to put up the Christmas tree - to another weekend of yet more power outages and two out of three of our children ill. My mother-in-law said on a number of occasions; “I’m so glad you’re back!”

More confused than ever, I’m not necessarily convinced that UK schools are worth sending our children to another continent and re-mortgaging the house for.. but I may change my mind as time goes on. At this point, it is hard to imagine our eldest daughter at 13 – although time is already running out. At least the weather has cheered up over the past couple of days. Perhaps it’s a sign?

Post office in Kenya and the trials of dealing with local emergency services

2011-11-16T08:50:00.003+03:00

My husband announced last night that he might like to be a postman one day. I said that’s fine but he’d be hard pushed to be one in Kenya since there’s no postal delivery service here.

It brought to mind the story from a year ago. The 5 year olds in my daughter’s kindergarten class did a school project which involved writing and posting a letter to their parents. The parents dutifully filled in an address on a form, then the children wrote out a (brief) letter and addressed an envelope. Then followed a class trip to the local post office to ceremonially post the letters, after which 10 tots crossed the road to buy a bag of crisps in the shop.

We use my husband’s work P.O. Box, so the letter from our daughter had some distance to travel, but other parents held their own P.O. Box in the exact same local post office – which meant that letters had only to travel from the post box, to an individual numbered box in the same room.

A good friend’s daughter was so excited about the prospect of her parents receiving her letter, that the next morning she absolutely insisted that she and her mother check their mail box before going to school. With trepidation, they opened the box with their small key from the outside, then imagine their delight and surprise when an actual HAND was on the other side, putting the little girl’s kindergarten letter in the box at that very moment! Not such an arduous task for the postal worker on that occasion!

We don’t really miss the door-to-door postal delivery here, but there are plenty of aspects of the local (admittedly reasonably priced) service which, not to put too fine a point on it, fail to measure up to standards we would like.

1. My father-in-law sent a postcard from Kenya to England last year. It arrived in England 6 months later. The recipient asked; “did you have a lovely holiday?” Reply; “What holiday?” He now puts all of his postcards in envelopes as they tend to arrive quicker.

2. Family and friends have sent birthday and Christmas presents from England via the conventional postal service here and the gifts, mysteriously, never arrived. This caused awkwardness when friends/family fished for a thank you and we had to admit that we hadn’t received anything, thinking they had forgotten. This happened the other way round too when we sent parcels from Kenya to England - cue more fishing emails and text messages on 'did you get the package'. It's all most disappointing.

3. If parcels do arrive in Kenya from overseas, then you are summonsed to the post office to pay duty on the package. If the sender has written an accurate ‘perceived value’ on the postage label (or bumped it up to look generous), then you end up having to pay that same price again in local currency as an import tax, in order to get your package released. Top tip: get relatives to write ‘no commercial value’ on the ticket at the post office their end.

4. Personal magazines received in clear plastic packages via subscriptions, tend to be distributed on the street via a street vendor. At the very least, your ‘free gift’ will be long gone.

So what is the answer? We try to ask friends and family to post parcels to whoever is due to come and visit us next in person, or send important letters with somebody who might be going to England next. This system is not without its drawbacks too: –

1. If you are the unlucky person who happens to mention a UK visit, then you are inundated with requests to post unstamped letters and parcels by all and sundry – which necessitates a special (and expensive) visit to queue up at a UK post office immediately you arrive (jet lagged) at the other end. Nobody in Kenya ever knows how much a first class stamp in England costs these days, since Royal Mail don’t put it on the face of the stamp any more. So friends who want their mail posted in England tend to foist a handful of Kenya shillings on you just as you are headed to the airport, an amount that bears no relation to the cost of the UK postage.

(Top tip, buy a book or two of first class stamps in advance when you are in England, there is then a Royal Mail website that allows you to calculate the cost of posting your package fairly accurately based on dimension and weight.)

2. Alternatively you might be the hapless visitor to Kenya who plans to go for some winter sun at Christmas. Within days of booking your flight, curious parcels addressed to not just family who you know, but also total strangers (friends of friends) will start appearing at your door, or pouring through your letterbox. You’ll end up bringing at least one, if not two entire suitcases filled with someone else’s parcels leaving no room for your clothes or toiletries . When an official at Heathrow asks you; “is there anything in this bag that you did not pack yourself?” You are at a loss to answer truthfully. Who knows what’s in there?

The upside of our local postal service in Kenya is that you tend not to be swamped by junk mail. You only receive the bare minium - local bank statements/bills etc.

***

In fact, we European and US citizens are thoroughly spoiled by services that we take for granted when back home. No offense but if you dial 999 in Kenya or indeed the correct number for your local police station etc, then you will invariably get an automated message saying: ‘The number you require is out of service/not accessible’.

When a wailing ambulance pulls up behind you on the road in Nairobi, you are surprised at the sight of it (it’s so rare), to the point where you forget what you are supposed to do (get out of the way) – the ambulance in question will generally be a small mini-van from a private hospital.

If you are worried about being in an emergency situation yourself whilst in Kenya, the best thing to do is have your local doctor/clinic numbers on your phone so that you can contact them in an emergency to ask what to do/where is the best place to go. GPs will often recommend known experts at a particular hospital that specialise in broken bones/heart problems etc. It's not a bad idea to familiarise yourself roughly with the route to the nearest private hospitals (Karen, Nairobi, Aga Khan, Gertrudes Garden). Also, join AMREF flying doctors and store their numbers in your phone too.

It's not just ambulances. Police often like to catch a lift to a crime scene in your car because they rarely have fuel for their own vehicles. In Tanzania an expat’s house was burning down. A private security firm’s fire truck arrived after a tip off and asked the individual in question to give credit card details before they were willing to tackle the fire since the guy in question was not a subscriber to their services. City council fire services are pretty desperate and let's be honest, fire engines can take hours to arrive, if at all.

The YouTube clip below taken from the local news recently speaks for itself! At least the newsreader has a sense of humour, though not so funny for the ones who were actually there!

Prince of Wales and Camilla sweat it out in Zanzibar

2011-11-09T09:10:00.003+03:00

Charles and Camilla arriving at Zanzibar airport.

Seeing this photograph of Charles and Camila in Zanzibar brings memories flooding back. First time visitors to the island, nothing can prepare you for the extreme humidity and heat. And they are actually wearing jackets poor things?! 'Hot' does not even nearly begin to describe it.

In 1999, my husband and I came from February in England to Zanzibar on honeymoon - I nearly died (not literally, but felt pretty close thanks to a bout of food poisoning). I'd never been far beyond Europe in my life, or to a developing country. Not at all well travelled, it all came as a huge shock. Pale and sweating, after two weeks in un-air conditioned 'eco' huts and bandas, we caught the ferry over to the mainland, to Dar es Salaam, in order to start a new life in the tropics. At the time, I can't understand why it never occurred to me that we must have been stark, staring mad to attempt such a transition. 12 years later and still in East Africa, the culture shock of first arriving in Zanzibar is still as fresh and clear in my mind as if it were yesterday.

The Telegraph article did say that Camilla had to withdraw from her tour round the Sultan's palace in order to have 'a little rest' for 5 minutes, but otherwise she seems to have coped admirably. I'm sure that the pearl encrusted jacket/dress she was wearing was a bit to heavy though - and doesn't look like a natural fabric (sack the stylist) - perhaps she could have taken a leaf out of Kate's book and chosen more of a breezy, summer frock. It's always a tricky balance in strictly Muslim Zanzibar and Dar, but cool linen shirts and unlined long skirts were my staple in those days. It was always agony to be so hot and yet compelled to cover up at the same time.

They even threw themselves into the dancing - well done!

Charles dancing/throwing shapes in 90 degree heat

They were then due to attend a garden party at the British High Commissioner's residence in Dar yesterday, which would have been be very civilised - barring the toxic smell of effluent that invariably washes over that garden from the direction of Salander Bridge and the estuary.

My husband grew up in Mombasa. His Dad's advice for any lengthy, formal occasion in the tropics (and he endured quite a few) was always, "sit or stand absolutely stock still, as still as you can - then you can cope. Fidgeting just makes the heat worse."

Dark/airless gift shop in Zanzibar

The dark, airless gift shops are also typical and haven't changed in decades. I spent many an hour in these places, desperately figuring out how these sort of christmas presents might go down in wintry England.

I gather that there was a lot of brow mopping between the royal couple. Camilla's hair would have started to flop as sweat tricked down her back and thighs. My guess is that the royal couple will be relieved to be boarding a plane to the cooler climbes of Kilimanjaro today.

Emerging from the House of Wonders, beginning to look dishevelled

Family fun day - volunteering

2011-11-08T12:59:00.004+03:00

Fireworks Ban in Nairobi

It was an odd sort of November 5th and Diwali in Nairobi this year, with all fireworks banned due to possible confusion over security threats and grenade attacks that have been threatened by Al Shabaab since Kenya began its 'incursion' into Somalia to flush the terrorists out.

A strange atmosphere pervades. There was a real worry that the Safari Sevens that took place in Nyayo Stadium last weekend might be a target for attack but fortunately all went smoothly. Somebody summed it up for me yesterday,

"Are you still shopping?" they asked. I was in a large shopping centre (quieter than usual).

"Yes, of course." I said, trying to show some famously British bravado in the face of adversity. "why wouldn't I be?"
"Well, it's okay until it happens" he said, "...if you know what I mean."

****

To be honest, while the cancellation of fireworks display might have come as a huge disappointment to many children, it was an equally huge relief to plenty of adults, especially those responsible for the pyrotechnic displays.

1. On the upside, cancelling fireworks meant that nobody got killed or maimed at the Karen Club fireworks display, which usually takes lack of health and safety measures to a new level - with small boys throwing firecrackers and lighting their own fireworks willy nilly; toddlers and teenagers alike all disappearing into the poorly lit wooded area, mud, chaos, parents drinking heavily and failing to keep an eye.

2. Our (better policed) school fireworks display was reduced to a 'family fun day' from 1pm-4pm, in aid of charity (Kigulu school in Kibera) and despite fears that the whole thing would be a damp squib without the firework crescendo - it was in fact a great success. The school does normally lay on a 'family fun for charity' organised by the parents association, from 4 until 7pm when the fireworks take place, but this year the whole thing was moved forward in the day so that it included lunch and we were all safely long gone before dark.

****

Every year I promise myself that I will join the school parent's association (especially since I now have 3 children at the same school) and every year I somehow manage to swerve it. This time I failed to turn up to the first meeting because I didn't read the newsletter, so then managed never to enter the loop of organising anything. I don't like meetings or commitment but have to admit that I do have a bit of a weakness for volunteering on the day. You are generally supposed to just do an hour of volunteering but I'm a bad example. I get very possessive over my 'pitch' and often find it hard to hand over, then walk away saying in loud, martyred tones; "do you know, I was stuck there for two and a half hours!" - but obviously it was only because I wanted to be..and just want everyone to know how marvelous I am.

My all time favourite is the lucky dip where I'll selflessly give hours of my time to collect money and watch little faces light up at each gift and tell the kids to put their rubbish in the bin. There's always a rumour amongst the children that inside the lucky dip is at least one mobile phone (I think there was one once, in the past) - so it's always by far and away the most popular stand.

lemon tart (not mine!)

On the family fun day on Saturday, I arrived feeling ultra sheepish because not only had I omitted to 'sign up' on the PA volunteer sheet but I'd also forgotten to bring my much slaved over Jamie Oliver lemon tart for the PA coffee shop stand. Frustrated and angry at myself, I stood around for a bit, sorely tempted to get back in the car and do the minimum of an hours round trip back home to get the tart. My husband was gainfully employed running his rhino charge car rides (that's a whole other story) and a very efficient rota of teaching staff had been roped in to help. My kids ran off and disappeared with their friends immediately. I felt like a spare wheel.

My fortunes changed when I was distracted by noticing the Head of the PA negotiating with the men who had been hired to turn up with the giant inflatable hamster balls that children could get inside and roll around, also known as 'Zorbs'. She was trying to hand over tickets and sort out a system but it looked like chaos, she was already mobbed by children who angling for the first go while the balls were being inflated.

Zorb in motion

Seeing an opening, I swooped.

"Need any help?" I asked innocently.

The head of the PA was efficient;

"Um, why don't you go and stand over there and get all the children to follow you" she said, "then get them to queue up and group into bunches of five. We want the balls to start over there so that they can roll down the hill."

I took up my position in full sun without a sunhat, but not before first trying (and failing) to steal a stake and ropes queuing system from another, less popular ride (that stallholder was most indignant). Undaunted I strode off to my position like a pied piper with children following and arranged some rounders posts for effect. After I'd got the children into sort of a rough queue that they kept falling out of in boredom, I stood awkwardly at the top of the hill wondering what to do. The hamster balls were still being laboriously inflated - it was taking ages. Undaunted I wrestled the ticketing system and float from the head of the PA's able teenage assistant and started selling advance tickets furiously. The problem was that when I'd sold all the tickets and the first ball turned up, there was a scrum of children all claiming that they were first. Using the numbering on the tickets was also hopeless becuase they all wanted to go with their friends.

"Have you got any kind of system going here?" One dad asked pointedly.

Why anyone would want to climb inside and inflatable ball in the midday sun, then roll down with four friends tumbling on top of them was beyond me, but boy - they kept coming. It soon became clear that we were NOT going to be using the harnesses that were inside the balls. I had to group the children roughly by age mates to prevent crushing, fortunately to some extent they did this themselves. Some protective parents looked concerned. One dad (but only one) pulled out his crying child from the ball and told me that he "didn't think it was really suitable for the younger ones".

loading zorb

Hey ho. Meanwhile, I was having a ball - literally. Yes, I had also forgotten to bring my hat so I was burning up, it was hot, no shade - my own children kept running up to me every five minutes asking for money for other rides and stands and I was getting a little confused between the PA money and my own - but at least I had a job! I was manhandling children in and out of the balls (some quite heavy), getting them to take off their shoes - was given responsibility of holding the odd bag or pair of glasses as they rolled, trying to make sure the balls didn't crush the tree sapling that was in the way and all the while shouting at the top of my voice;

"Look out Below!" as the two children filled balls went hurtling down the hill ready to knock down innocent passers-by. Then,
"Push harder, put your back into it!" when they had to roll it back up again.

I chatted to other kids in the queue while they patiently waited, sold more tickets, counselled smaller ones who had bought tickets but suddenly (and understandably) had second thoughts about getting in, put an emergency call into the chief organiser when I ran low on tickets or high on cash. I was in heaven.

As usual, when a reliever turned up, I wouldn't go - when I did finally hand over, I kept popping back to see if she was okay, only to find that she had implemented a much better queueing and ticketing system than me..I guess I should have simply been grateful that nobody suffered any broken bones.

As I put my feet up in the evening and bit into some lemon tart, I had the warm and noticeably smug feeling wash over me of a good job well done. Roll on next year...ha ha..

Reading books and visitor season

2011-11-02T09:26:00.005+03:00

I'm ashamed to say that it's been ages since I've actually read a book. Following the Eurozone crisis and the local news avidly, then reading lifestyle columns online is one thing - but getting inspired and lost inside a book is something else - and much better for the soul I imagine. Plus they say that you can't write without reading - so that's where I'm going wrong!! - I say to myself...

So, I went off to the library yesterday and got 'The Hare with Amber Eyes' by Edmund de Waal and am already totally stuck in. I recognised the book cover from a magazine profile and grabbed it hungrily from the shelf. From what I can make out so far, it's a family history woven around a collection of inherited Japanese netsuke which crosses continents; Europe and Japan, and generations. Review here. My only problem now is a husband who likes to snap the light of as soon as his head hits the pillow - so I'm having to find stolen moments to read during the day.

In the meantime, we are all entering the expat 'visitor season' that will reach its climax at Christmas but for many people may well trail on until February or March next year. Having had a wet week or two here in Nairobi with accompanying frequent power cuts and dreadful traffic, the sun is now very definitely shining, the sky is blue and this week my parents-in-law arrive, followed closely by my own parents - both sets keen to escape the English winter gloaming for as long as possible.. They generally arrive pale faced, then do lots of sleeping and read copious numbers of books while here - and where normally I'd make a quick sandwich or instant noodles to be eaten by my computer at lunchtime when the kids are in school, it's now my duty to put my book to one side, step up the in-house catering stakes and get organised.

Last night we realised that we'd got the date wrong of my parents-in-law arrival. It's not the first time we've done this - my parents once had to call us from Dar es Salaam airport when they got here one sweltering February morning to say 'just wondering if you are on your way? Are you collecting us? My husband dropped everything at work and there was a frightful scuffle at home as we rushed to get beds made and flowers put in the guest bedroom. So we realised last night that the parents-in-law are getting here tomorrow morning, not Friday - and I've invited friends for supper the same evening...(something I'm rarely organised or energetic enough to do). Not sure where we are all going to sit. Oh well. A friend suggested hiring a freelance cook - I'm sorely tempted.

I wonder if I can take my book to my daughter's rounders match this afternoon?

My husband was sent the links to these two old (circa 1990s) French & Saunders comedy skits on expat wives - horribly un-politically correct - but just had to share! WARNING - EXPLICIT CONTENT, SOME VIEWERS MAY FIND OFFENSIVE.

Security warnings - a quiet weekend in Nairobi nonetheless

2011-10-31T08:08:00.009+03:00

Henry Wanyoike and his running partner Joseph

My husband ran the 10km at the Standard Chartered marathon with quite a few of his work colleagues and our gardener, and managed not to get bombed by Al Shabaab. Phew. So glad that the incredible charity event went off without a hitch (they even dodged the rain that has been pouring down intermittently all weekend) and people turned out in record numbers as usual.

I felt a bit shifty and guilty for not running once again on Sunday morning once again when my husband's alarm clock went off - not least because the spokesperson for the charity 'seeing is believing', Henry Wanyoike, paralympic and gold medal winning marathon champion - came to our kids school on a sports day recently with his running partner Joseph and gave us all an inspiring motivational talk. He lost his sight when he was 19. Read more about the marathon here. When it came close to the time, as usual I had excuses aplenty - next year we'll do the family fun run at least, ... promise.

Shopping centres that were quiet(ish) on Friday following security warnings, were heaving once again (and chaotic) by Sunday. There certainly is general fear of terror attacks - a taxi driver I met on Saturday said,
"Have you seen these Somalis, carrying two guns each? They are not afraid to die. That is why we Kenyans fear them."

While people are certainly behind Kenya's move into Somalia to fight Al Shabaab and are continuing life as usual, last week, hotlines were reportedly jammed with calls by Kenyans reporting sightings of anyone vaguely resembling a Somali in the city. A friend's work colleague said that it has been common for passengers to refuse to board a bus/matatu if there is someone who looks like a Somali already inside. And yet, the person arrested and found guilty for the two grenade attacks of last Sunday/Monday on a nightclub/bus stage - was Kenyan. I wonder what will happen next. Nothing hopefully.

For the latest Economist article on Kenya's war on Al Shabaab - click here

Should we be worried? Kenya v al-Shabaab

2011-10-27T11:50:00.002+03:00

Kenyan Soldiers

During the past week or so, events have been moving fast. The recent kidnappings that took place within Kenya, (Lamu, Kiwayu, Dadaab) served as a catalyst which saw Kenyan forces going into Somalia on 16th October to seek out Al Shabaab, in spite of Al Shabaab denying any involvement in these crimes. Much of Southern and Central Somalia is under Islamic militant Al Shabaab control and the humanitarian situation in Somalia has come to a head. Over recent months, Kenya has seen tens of thousands of Somali refugees cross the border into Dadaab camp daily due to the ongoing civil war and drought in the horn of Africa. Dadaab Camp is designed to hold 90,000 refugees - there are now closer to half a million there. Many fear that the camp is shielding members of the al Shabaab group too, who may be passing in and out, posing as refugees. It's now the largest refugee camp in the world.

flooding at Dadaab

I think that this is a proud moment for Kenyans, the majority of whom are 100% behind the action, even in the face of grenade attacks that took place Nairobi in a downtown nightclub (Sunday) and during a busy time for commuters in the city centre (Monday) - suspected to be Al-Shabaab retaliation (though these are certainly not the first grenade attacks to have happened in Nairobi). People vow to continue as normal in spite of reports of security threats. Police presence on city streets has visibly been stepped up and Police chief Mathew Iteere managed a coup on Tuesday when his cops arrested a Kenyan man with a stash of 13 hand grenades and numerous guns within a Kayole estate (thanks to a tip off) - who admitted to being responsible for the 2 recent attacks in Nairobi and a member of Al Shabaab.

Read related BBC news article here

security threats

Meanwhile, in the Eastleigh area of Nairobi, commonly known as 'Little Mogadishu' - many Somali immigrants without proper papers have gone into hiding fearing a police crackdown in the area will see them sent out of the country.

Map showing Kenya's proximity to Somalia

The consensus is that Kenya's hitting back in order to defend her (somewhat porous) borders has been a long time coming. The fact that Kenya has been brave enough to wade into lawless Somalia which has now not had stability for 20 years and after the stinging defeat of US forces in Black Hawk Down in 1993, is something that foreign powers are extremely grateful for too. American Ambassador Scott Gration says that the US agrees with Kenya's military action in Somalia and while they are not part of the offensive they pledge to continue to give 'training on terrorism' and support Kenya with its security issues. The French are helping with more practical logistical support, helping with transportation of soldiers and weaponry in and out of Somalia.

A set back came about when on Monday, the president of the Transitional Federal Government in Somalia suddenly changed tack from openly supporting Kenyan military action, publicly announcing that Kenya was working in partnership with the TFG in Somalia, to announcing that he does not want Kenyan forces inside Somalia but only wants Kenya to train and provide logistical support for his troops. MPs in the TFG Government have expressed surprise and disappointment at their President's remarks, causing further confusion and ordinary Somalis came out waving Kenyan flags and burning images of Sheikh Sharif Ahmed in towns in southern Somalia such as Dhobley Town where Al Shabaab has recently been flushed out to demonstrate. People there were reported to have been saying; "We want Kenya and Somalia to fight Al Shabaab in every corner. We do not have any other hope for life" .

In Dadaab refugee camp within Kenya, sadly many medecins sans frontieres staffers and other foreign aid workers have left since the kidnapping of two female Spanish aid workers there last week. The Kenya newspapers showed a photograph of an empty and abandoned MSF health clinic in Dadaab.

It's also been raining heavily in Southern Somalia which has made the entire Kenya offensive very difficult since the outset, though Kenya has overpowered Al Shabaab in many towns and is apparently making good headway.

On Tuesday 2 more foreign aid workers (a US woman and a Danish man) working for Danish Refugee Control were kidnapped from inside the northern part of Somalia in Puntland which came as a surprise since up until now, this area has been considered relatively safe and is not under Al Shabaab control. The story is that their Somali guards/staff were complicit in organising the abduction. They have been arrested.
Read more here

The fact that many of the the kidnappings have involved foreigners, means that the expat community who have historically been fairly exempt from local political upheavals and disturbances are now feeling spooked. But I don't think they have any particular reason to react in this way - especially if they avoid places near the Somali border - which the foreign office has advised people to do. I personally am not planning to visit Dadaab camp, Somalia itself or the very north coast of Kenya any time soon and I'm willing to bet that very few people not involved in the war or aid effort are.

There have been rumours of security warnings about possible targets for attacks being large shopping centres and places where not just Kenyans but expats hang out which has caused a frisson of alarm amongst expat housewives that I know - but these sort of security warnings are fairly common here and I don't think a particular cause for alarm. The reason foreigners have been targeted for kidnap is because of the perceived increased bargaining power they hold for ransom. I don't see that they would be particularly a target for bombing - and the recent grenade attacks showed a lone al Shabaab militant choosing easier targets of a low security bus stage's and bar, rather than high security shopping centres. Toughen up gals!!

One (curiously a South African) friend said, "doesn't stuff like this make you feel like going home?"
"No!" I shriek - envisaging myself in the future as an old expat granny in Kenya driving about with a shotgun on the passenger seat - still saying; "it's fine, it's fine!"
Instead I said;
"Might I remind you that Europe and the States is in the most godawful mess at the moment?!"
I think I have to stop being such an obsessive consumer of news, but I know where I'd rather be.

Raila Odinga is in hot water over missing 'Kazi kwa Vijana' (jobs for youth) World Bank funds totalling Kshs 33 million that have gone missing under his watch. The project was cancelled on October 11th after the World Bank had undertaken a 4 month investigation into accounting discrepancies. His enemies in politics (Will-i-am Ruto etc) are revelling in it.

Meanwhile, the capture of Libyan leader Muammar Gadaffi and the mobile phone footage of his grisly end was played out over the weekend, with shocking details of his final hours still emerging....

Trip to State House

2011-10-23T10:28:00.003+03:00

State House, Nairobi

My husband received an invitation to celebrate Mashujaa Day (Heroes Day) at State House. We figured, ‘why not go?’ We haven’t got much else on. 20th October used to mark Kenyatta Day, but since last year it was decided that it's better to celebrate a more generic heroes day instead.

Working out what to wear was tricky. My husband said,

“it’s Kenya, you could wear anything you like.”

At the time I made a “tsk” sound and yanked yet more dusty wedding guest style clothes from the cupboard. Suffice to say, there were jackets that have not seen the light of day since the 1990s.

Before leaving my husband got a text from a KC mate. ‘What are u guys up to?’

‘Going to state house for tea.’

‘What the hell are you putting yourselves through that for, you plonker.’ Was the response.

I looked outside; it was raining, thundering as well. Suddenly the idea of going to State house was less appealing. My husband and I looked at one another. “Are we mad?” We asked. “Shall we just stay at home?”

But cancelling at this late stage seemed churlish, so we tooled along to State House – umbrella in hand. I have to admit that I felt something of a rush to drive up through the main gate to the colonial (built 1907) white washed edifice. There were lots of people in uniforms, smart suits, fleets of shiny Mercedes, red number plates everywhere. White tents were arranged around four sides of an acre of clear lawn.

We were shown to Area E. There was a program on each chair. After selecting a couple of chicken wings, fish fingers and spring rolls from the Sarova Hotel chaffing dishes we carefully selected a dry seat (rain dripped through the tent here and there). Meanwhile Kibaki, Raila, Kalonzo and the various VIPS in attendance, having emerged along a red carpet from their ‘sit down’ lunch, took their places in the rather more substantial looking ‘top tent’ to watch the entertainment. It was hard to see them properly. There must have been a thousand people there.

The outfits of fellow guests did turn out to be varied. I noticed that in the roped off area next to us, everyone had been allocated packed lunches in white cardboard boxes. Scouts came round intermittently to collect soda bottles and rubbish. There were ladies in shiny suits, headdresses, Sunday best and mixed in with others wearing jeans. The majority of men were wearing suits. Along the row along from us were two ladies in brown leather robes embroidered with cowrie shells holding cleft sticks and there was a man in a real colobus monkey skin cloak.

Entertainment was mainly choral (mostly school choirs) with a couple of traditional dances thrown in. The Indian girls from Oshwal School suffered from a technical malfunction when their music cut out. Others lost the mike from time to time. I noticed that a lot more ‘acts’ had snuck into the formal order of events and looked at my watch more than once. My husband was reading a book that he’d downloaded onto his mobile phone. After half a dozen choirs, a couple of old men came on to sing. Apparently they were real heroes with a talent for music (again, not listed on the program of events). The MC announced:

‘And here is yet another mzee (old person)’.

As one act finished, another filed on, then another and another. I watched the a dozen large brown kites circle overhead and watched the grey clouds move off, then thanked goodness that it was cool. I had sat on a wet patch and wondered if my white skirt had gone see-through. I saw a big school choir waiting then have to admit to feelings of relief when they were turned back due to time constraints. Time had obviously run over. We’d been entertained for a solid hour and a half by this point, apparently this was enough for even President Kibaki.

Dancers

Next dance troupes, choirs and ‘heroes’ took their positions along the periphery ropes to greet President Kibaki and other ‘leaders’ who were getting ready to go ‘walk about’ with about 20 body guards and other supporters in tow, progressing slowly around 3 sides of the square. Ululating, drumming and whistles blowing, many of the dancers were in fantastic regional dress, but again, too far away to see properly. As we took our places by the rope, my husband found a chair in the front row with his name on. We would definitely have got dripped on there.

“Oh well” I said, “shall we go home.”

A few individuals were already filing out. Only prayers and a closing hymn were left on the program. We snuck out before the crush.

An interesting experience, but admittedly not one that I’ll be in a hurry to repeat soon.

Kenya at War

2011-10-18T22:55:00.008+03:00

“Al-Shabaab is used to pinching the bottom of a goat (Somalia's Transitional Federal Government) and now that they pinched that of a lion (Kenya), that is more fiercer and more prepared, it should be in for trouble,”

said Prof Buyu of United States International University - Africa

Kenyan soldiers on parade

The BBC news on Monday night had a ticker tape running along the bottom that said; "Kenya declares war on Somalia" More accurately Kenya are declaring war on Al Shabaab who are the Al Qaeda of East Africa. Kenya has joined forces with the Somali Trasitional Federal Government to help flush Al Shabaab militants out of their strongholds in Somalia (it took four years for the TFG to get them out of Mogadishu). There was a brief news item on the subject that followed. Tonight, Tuesday - Kenya had dropped of the BBC news entirely. I'm a bit fed up with the BBC and their endless sensationalising, though it's important news nonetheless.

Meanwhile, I understand from the local newspapers that Kenyan forces had gone into Somalia days before any public statement was made. So covert was this operation that the press had to use archive photos and footage of Kenyan soldiers to run with the piece (much of it taken from the Promulgation Ceremony of the new constitution in August 2010). 'Invading Somalia' to fight Al Shabaab seems to have been a pretty ballsy move that has come without much, if any warning.

Local Kenya newspapers say that towns within Somalia which are Al Shabaab strongholds have already been overpowered by Kenyan forces. Their next target is the strategically important port town of Kismayu, through which much of the Somali piracy money is filtered to Al-Shabaab.

Now there are increased security threats to Kenya. Internal Security Minister George Saitoti told all Kenyans to be on the look out for suspected Al Sabaab militants who might be working undercover within Kenya, plotting to wreak destruction inland. Hotline phone numbers have been set up.

Quote from The Standard news:

On Monday, the Al-Shabaab militants warned of reprisals in Kenya if Nairobi did not withdraw its troops.

On Tuesday, the terror gang repeated the threats through its leader, Sheikh Hassan Hersi, in a voice recording on a supportive radio station. "They attack us by air and on the border; we must unite and fight back until we clear our territory.

"The Kenyan Government will lose many people and assets because of its intervention in our territory," he added.

Meanwhile, local news channels ask viewers to pick up their phones and send in text messages along the lines of; "any words you might have for soldiers now going deeper into Somalia - (this does not require a yes or no answer)." SMS messages are charged at 5/- higher than normal call rates.

Al Shabaab also maintain that they were not responsible for any of the recent kidnappings within Kenya. Kenya say that all the kidnappings were definitely orchestrated by Al Shabaab, apparently the Kenyan Government has irrefutable evidence.

It's scary but there's also an air of unreality about it all.

RIP to kidnapped French woman Marie Dedieu, who we heard today has died while inside Somalia.

Pirates and kidnappers - Kenya

2011-10-14T12:49:00.003+03:00

Somali pirates?

It's been hard to bring myself to write anything much this week - there has been such a slew of bad news for Kenya. The only good news is that it's raining (though rain causing havoc on the roads in Mombasa I hear).
The Kenya shilling fell further, bottoming out at 107 to the dollar (so far) - new all time lows keep being recorded daily, in spite of various efforts to stabilize the local currency. We have an election coming up next year, but no one seems to be able to decide on the date.   Politics is as chaotic as ever.

It was almost beyond belief to hear that two female Spanish aid workers were kidnapped yesterday from right inside Dadaab refugee camp where 400,000 Somali refugees are now living.  Authorities believe that the hostages were whisked off deep into Somalia, their Kenyan driver was shot dead during the abduction. Last month a male Kenyan aid worker, a driver working for Care International, was also taken (Guardian newspaper).

As an outside observer and in no way party to any inside information, the really disturbing development is not just that the kidnappings have turned from sea to land, but the fact that after being kidnapped, many of the victims are not heard of since.  No ransoms demanded, just nothing, silence.   You can't even begin to imagine the plight of the victims who, after the trauma of abduction, are thrust deep into Somalia facing who knows what kind of hardships and depravity.

The Kenya police and government issue platitudes that Kenya/Somali borders are being secured and manhunts have been launched, but we know that the local police service is woefully ill equipped, borders are almost impossible to police or secure and who even knows how much political will is there to get these foreigners out?

The Dadaab incident came hot on the heels of the Kiwayu/Lamu midnight abductions of women from tourist destinations also near the Somali border. A 56 year old British woman, Judith Tebbutt, was taken from a barefoot luxury beach hotel Kiwayu, north of Lamu on Sept 11th, on the first night of their stay. Her husband was shot dead during the raid. Then two weeks later, French woman Marie Dedieu, age 66 and wheelchair bound, was taken hostage from her holiday home. Police attempts to intercept the kidnappers before they slipped away to Somalia, apparently resulted in two Kenyan navy/policemen drowning.

Understandably, these two incidents have seen Lamu tourism die a death for the foreseeable future. It's apparently a ghost town today (barring reporters).

What's frightening is that these days there's a real dearth of information once victims are kidnapped - I understand that this is necessary for the safety of the hostages, however, the rumour mill tells us that hostages are very often taken by one gang, then 'sold on' from gang to gang until someone is willing to stick their neck out and risk brokering the ransom deal. Thus the hostages are moved, location to location and there's a long time lag before any information is released.  It would be heartening to think that there was any recourse for the kidnappers, that they at some point would face justice, but because Somalia is now a lawless black hole, the likelihood of this happening is depressingly slim.

I think that advising people in Kenya to steer clear of anywhere close to the Somali border where possible is sensible.  Even though these are isolated incidents, the damage to Kenya tourism is inevitable.

Banking developments

2011-10-07T10:06:00.000+03:00

The Central Bank of Kenya announced a 400 point interest rate rise to 11% in order to combat high inflation and stabilize the local currency, the Kenya Shilling, which has rapidly lost value against the dollar over the past couple of months (see previous post). Bad news for those with loans and mortgages, however local commercial banks and money markets have been reportedly impressed by this show of affirmative action from the often dithering regulatory organisation.

At the same time, the UK's Bank of England announced a second massive round of quantitive easing - QE2 (the first was in 2009), in order to counter the effects of global economic slowdown. Bad news for UK savers and pensioners. The question being asked is; will this work?

www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/financialcrisis/8812260/World-facing-worst-financial-crisis-in-history-Bank-of-England-Governor-says.html

The First Grader movie about Maruge - the oldest Kenyan primary school pupil

2011-10-06T13:26:00.006+03:00

The First Grader

Watched a TV review of a British film called 'The First Grader' last night. Not sure how it managed to fall so far under my radar since it was released in May (US)/June (UK), but often foreign movies and documentaries made about Kenya are poorly circulated here. The TV program I watched was one of those reviews that basically tell you the whole story line and a lot of behind the scenes info too - so I'm not really sure I need to see the movie now - but I think I'd still like to - if only for the footage of Kenya and use of real school children as actors.

I am gutted that they didn't call the movie 'Form One' - which would have been a lot more apt and less corny, however, it's the true story of a man in his 80's who asserted his right to free primary education in 2004 when the Kenya government announced that primary education would be free for ALL (Kenyans). My husband remembers hearing this story on the radio (Kiss FM) and being aware of it at the time back in '04. I am ashamed to say that I was not.

The only problem is that the man, Kimani N'gan'ga Maruge, faced strong opposition to his plan. His teacher Jane (with a curiously South African sounding accent in the movie) championed the old man's right to learn to read and write - she too faced threats and abuse from local authorities and pressure from her husband to give up the old man as a lost cause. The sub plot is an exploration of the old man's personal demons from the past - he had been a Mau Mau freedom fighter and, once captured, was abused by the colonial officers who imprisoned him as a young man.

I gather that international reviewers found the movie fairly saccharine and the directing too focused on tugging on the audience's heartstrings (a lot of close ups of the lead's rheumy eyes etc), but that the actors' performances (particularly the children, Jane and the old man) were actually very good, effectively saving the performance from sickly sweet.

In 2005 Maruge got the chance to fly to New York to speak to the UN about the importance of primary education. Having endured the loss of his property in 2008 post election violence and a subsequent stint in an Internally Displaced Persons (IDP) camp (while continuing to attend school), in June 2008 Maruge was moved to Nairobi to a retirement home. Undeterred he 'reported' to a new school in Kariobangi. What a character. Sadly Maruge died in 2009 of stomach cancer.

Movie Trailer:

The real Maruge:

Will the Global Financial Crisis be the making of East Africa?

2011-10-06T13:12:00.000+03:00

An impertinent question I know, however, I just had to ask. It sort of follows on from the last post.

Since the financial outlook globally is now so dismal, surely Western governments will have to cut, even suspend their aid budgets to Africa for now? The Wealthy West has suddenly become the Indebted West and for a while presumably East Africa and other developing nations will be left to fend for themselves financially? - So what happens if aid money is no longer flowing in to prop up corrupt governments and government officials? Will this global financial crisis represent the beginning of a sea change in Africa?

My favourite pet subject is the perceived value of foreign aid to Africa - I'm talking, in the main, about the government-to-government kind. I heard a rumour that UK aid money to Kenya is going to be pretty near to zero next year. Not sure if it's true - but even though David Cameron promised to ring-fence aid at the beginning of the crisis, he could never have anticipated how difficult today's financial situation has become, so it is sounding more and more like a real possibility.

Without the slush fund of foreign aid that has been pouring into the country over the past 50 years since independence, Kenyan politicians might now just have to shape up and personally deliver on some of the promises they make to the Kenyan people. Just look at how far Malaysia has got in those same years?

Am I being naive here? Whatever happens, things are about to change.

Wot no local currency? Kenya Shilling is the worst performing currency in the World.

2011-10-04T12:25:00.003+03:00

The Kenya Shilling crash

It’s been a glaring issue for a while now, accelerated over the past couple of months, but what has happened to the Kenya shilling? For years the shilling traded at around 80-81 to the US dollar, yet last week it hit a record low of 104.20, losing 24% of its value in this year alone. Speculators say that the exchange rate could still plunge further to 110/even 120 shillings to the dollar. Disaster. Inflation is high (now 17.3% - the original Government target was 5%), some commercial banks have already raised interest rates and economic growth forecasts for this quarter have been scaled down due to the slide of the local currency.

Who is suffering?

Everyone, but most of the burden is being carried by the common man who must absorb increased food and transport prices uncomplainingly. The local chemist, a lovely man at the bottom of our road who works a 12 hour day, 7 days a week, was saying that his small business has been hit hard.

“Pharmaceutical products are costing 30% more these days. It’s okay for the exporters but real Kenyans are suffering badly.”

I think that a lot of people/the powers that be, have stuck their head in the sand for a while hoping that the shilling would rally – but now serious questions are being asked all over the place, MPs have asked for Parliament to look into the issue, Raila Odinga has taken action by creating a task force to help stabilise the shilling. Even President Kibaki felt he had to address the issue. He made a public statement at the ASK show last week, to say that the Central Bank and government agencies will institute measures towards stabilising the exchange rate of the shilling and overall level of domestic prices. Watch this space.

Why?

So why has the value of the shilling spiralled downwards in this alarming way? It’s a pressing question for me personally since we are K shilling earners and property owners in Kenya. Frankly, it’s worrying. After copious reading of local newspapers, it seems that there are various contributing factors in this sudden devaluing of the local currency, though it cannot be put down to a single cause. I am confused.

1. 2012 Elections

The first rumour I heard (back in July) was that the shilling depreciation, was that this is a common phenomena before each Kenya election. The theory is that value of the shilling is artificially pushed down so that foreign dollars being brought in from overseas will buy more local currency to fund election campaigns. In that case it’ll pass, I thought to myself. It hasn’t.

2. Insecurity due to US and Eurozone economic crises

The Eurozone is a major trading partner of East African countries. Rising economic uncertainties elsewhere in the world are undermining prospects for exports, official aid and private capital flows (incl money coming in from the Diaspora). Local markets are nervous. Overseas demand for Kenyan export goods such as flowers, tea, coffee and vegetables are expected to fall if they hasn’t already.

3. Lower rainfall/Drought

A poor season also led to lower domestic production of food. Another consequence of low rainfall is a higher price of electricity. As I understand it, Kenya still relies heavily on hydro-electric power. When dams are low, the government buys in diesel generated fuel from private firms as a short term measure. A higher cost of power is particularly a burden for manufacturing. Check out the ‘fuel cost charge and forex adjustment’ charges on your electricity bill.

4. Higher cost of Imports

While many larger companies have been absorbing the higher cost of imported goods for some time now, hoping that the local currency crisis was a temporary glitch, they will now start passing on higher costs to their customers. For instance, Safaricom last week announced higher tariffs and call rates for their customers because they can no longer carry higher costs their end on customers’ behalf.

5. Currency speculation – rows between Central Bank and Commercial Banks

The Central Bank has accused commercial banks of hoarding US dollars with a view to making more money as the shilling value falls. Commercial banks have accused CBK of sending out mixed signals (i.e. pumping dollars into the economy then talking about raising interest rates to attract forex/dollar investors to the country) and a general failure to address the crisis properly.

Self perpetuating problem: Foreign investors have been exiting the economy since August as a result of the weakening shilling. Leading Kenya economist Aly Khan Satchu estimates that the Kenya economy has lost $1.1 billion in forex for this reason.

There’s a general crisis of confidence that the Central Bank is not able to properly defend the currency and whatever it does next will be too little too late.

“The shilling is falling because of a behind the curve monetary policy strategy.” Aly Khan Satchu said.

What next?

My fingers are tightly crossed that the situation will improve. After all, how much worse can it get? While Kenya’s problems may pale slightly against the debt crisis being played out in the rest of the world, they feel real enough here.

Let’s hope that Kenya strikes oil in the Turkana district/Lamu basin by the end of the year, as is widely speculated they will. Geological surveys are complete, all the signs of oil are there and drilling rigs are being manoeuvred into position as we speak. What will the discovery of oil do for Kenya? Does the Kenyan Government have the wherewithal to manage the country’s resources to the benefit of Kenyans on the ground or will it sell out? Needless to say, the Chinese are already poised to be first in line for raw materials.

Procrastinating...

2011-09-27T10:36:00.002+03:00

So far this morning I have, read the newspapers - i.e. yesterday's: Nation - (inflation and road accidents), Standard - (Hague trial, Charity Ngilu water ministry corruption probe), Business Daily - (global markets plunge, Facebook launches Timeline, pircay increasingly a problem, 14 seater matatus get a reprieve) Star - (Thika highway update, Mbau says election should not be held in December) over a slow breakfast - then had a bath in the guest room as the water everywhere else in the house has run out. Got dressed. Said hello to water delivery truck men who failed to come yesterday - made them tea plus bread and jam to keep them sweet. (always worth having those guys on your side).

I silently curse the Nairobi Agricultural show/Trade fair that starts today (more than 200 companies participate) and will take place in Jamhuri Park every day this week until Sunday. Once a year, whenever it's the show - we fail to get city council water. The show also means even more horrendous traffic than usual on Ngong Road and a gigantic struggle to get the kids home from school - which, at the end of the week, may well culminate in driving right out of Nairobi in order to get home again the back way over bumps and through villages in order to avoid showground traffic. Friday will be the pits because not only is Friday normally bad traffic wise but Kibaki is visiting in the afternoon (with his motorcade) and rain/storms are forecast that day as well - oh hell.

Oh well, at least we have power.

Moved to my computer and read the Telegraph online: UK news (British shipwreck, treasure found) World news - (morbidly fascinated by the Amanda Knox case and whether Putin had a facelift or not. Also looked at Wangari Maathi's Telegraph obituary and thought it was a bit lightweight), Financial news - (have gold prices topped out? Is the world officially in recession yet?) Fashion news - (trying desperately not to be interested whether or not Kate Middleton will be on the front of US Vogue next month). Then, shame-of-shame - moved on the Daily Mail online. Read an article about being middle class and out of work in the UK, then moved onto Jessica Simpson's dreadful choice of holiday wear and the fact that Angelina Jolie and Gwen Stefani shared a kids play date. Secretly curse the fact that I have internet connection ... but don't really mean it.

Losing the will to live. Actually have so much I ought to be doing, wrote a list on post-it notepad in an attempt to organise myself but the list is a bit too scary, everything on it requires an input of time and effort - Pull myself together. Consider that I should have gone to gym this morning because it would have been a better use of my time, didn't go because thought I'd be better off at home getting things done. Remember that I should be emailing my mum and mum-in-law to say thanks for sponsoring our eldest on a charity walk she did at the weekend. Skype messaged a friend. Checked by blog comments, then statistics, then went on to look at Google Analytics. Can't make any sense of them and who cares anyway. Now writing this. Can't wait until 11am when I will allow myself to go downstairs and make a cup of instant coffee.

Oh dear. Tragic. Please somebody tell me that I'm not the only one who can make procrastinating last two or three hours...or more?!

Looking forward to 2012 elections as we experience 'interesting times'...

2011-09-26T17:43:00.002+03:00

Next year is election year, not just for Kenya but for the United States of America and Russia too. The political climate is already heating up.

The date of the US presidential election is set for 6th November 2012. President Obama knows exactly the time frame he has to win back popularity after a beleaguered presidency marred by economic crisis and resistance to reform. Meanwhile, in Kenya, in spite of premature political jostling for the 2012 leadership race, the date of the Kenyan presidential vote is still not decided. A clause in the new constitution inaugurated in August 2010 stated that elections must take place in the eight month of election year, but due to Kenya’s own delays in implementing constitutional reform, MPs within current government have attempted to push out the election date to a probable December 2012, while civil society have protested the change, stating (and I paraphrase) ‘please let’s not start all this business of amending of the new constitution already!”

Casting our minds back just a few years, who can forget the joy that we felt to see a Kenyan-American elected to the most powerful political seat in the World. There was celebration in Kenya, a national holiday was announced, ‘Obama Day’. We were all in desperate need of good news, still reeling as we were from a flawed Kenyan election only months before that had brought the country, quite honestly, to the brink of civil war. In the States and Europe, the banking system had very recently undergone a collapse caused in part by the US subprime mortgage market, however, at that point we thought that the worst was behind us.

Could we ever have predicted that a shaky Kenyan coalition born out of an election marred by manipulation, bloodshed and infighting, would have somehow endured its term. That Putin would be running for President yet again in Russia, while Obama’s election in 2008, so full of optimism, would mark the beginning of a wave of yet more ‘interesting times’ on a global scale.

We might never have guessed that in May 2010, Britain would chose to rule itself by Coalition just like Kenya; that autocrats in the oil rich Middle East who enjoyed ultimate power for decades would be toppled by people’s revolutions during an ‘Arab Spring’ that was given momentum by online social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter. Natural disaster has also played its part, most notably through chaos caused by the earthquakes in Japan. A global economic crisis that hit at the heart of the developed world in 2008 is still causing shockwaves, unbalancing nations that we once considered infallible. Today, Europe’s currency is under threat, there’s mass unemployment, a double dip recession looms, governments are making drastic spending cuts to compensate and international banks that were once considered ‘safe’ still threaten to fail.

There is an old Chinese expression that goes; ‘May you live through interesting times’. It’s regarded as a curse. Why, because ‘interesting’ tends to be defined as troublesome and uncomfortable. The world has certainly had an interesting ride over the last few years since Kenya’s last election. In 2012 world leaders and voters alike can only pray for ‘boring’ times ahead. Fingers crossed.

RIP Wangari Maathai - Tireless Kenyan environmental conservationist, visionary, founder of the Green Belt Movement, winner of the Nobel Peace Prize, and by all accounts, all round exceptionally nice lady, died today aged 71.

Wangari Maathai

Gap Yah Africaah..

2011-09-22T09:16:00.003+03:00

I am shamelessly lifting content here - but found this today and found it so funny. Dont't be offended. To the uninitiated, Orlando is the spoof of a British, ex public school, gap year student - Tim Nice but Dim.

I have it from the horse's mouth that 6th form British public school kids in England 'literally' don't find this very funny - owch!

Loved the original gap year sketch on Youtube (link below) but this one on Africa makes me smile. It's very 'Prince William' - who on his Tusk Trust website interview proclaims to have a "deep love for Africaah". As you can imagine, love the reference to the thorny issue of aid to Africa too.

P.s. British children, or their parents, do pay up to a hefty 4,000 pounds to 'gap year' specialists in UK who arrange their trips to Africa to include helping out at local schools etc.

The Gap Yah Plannah: Africa

Orlando, the YouTube phenomenon, gets busy sorting out 'Africah's isssues'.

Gap Yah Orlando Charmon - 'what's so funny?'

"It was just like, hello, sense of achievement"

By Orlando Charmon

So, obviously a lot of my trip so far has been pretty, like, whimsical, but Africah is when things became raally serious. Forty-one per cent of Africans consider their living standards to be subsaharan, and there are also isssues. My trip to Africah hopefully was able to provide a wesstern presssence for the resolvation of those isssues. I came to Mombasah on a mission, and it was a mission I had found on the internet and paid £3,000 for.

I was working with an organisation called PovWatch Africah and I was going to be part of the final solution to poverty. We all met up in a hotel conference suite in Nairahbi and it was pretty exciting to meet everyone – like the first day at school. And also because a lot of people were from my school thah. Spent the morning in classes devoted to telling us about techniques and treatments for dealing with a worms infestation so we could teach this to people in villages.

A whole morning learning about deworming. Raaaaancid. At lunch, everyone was talking about isssues and like about how colonialism was just literally raally bad except for when it stopped people from genital mutilation. Some guy had read a book that said that giving aid to Africans was actually a bad thing and the girl opposite me was like, "why are you doing it then?" and the guy suddenly got all like, "well, it's just an opinion…" and didn't raally say anything else. Chump.

The week of finding out about isssues followed by beers (lash 'n' learn) went by pretty quickly, then we were sent off to live with some random rural tribe.

The village we were sent to (can't remember the name of it – something African) was quite nice. It turned out that we weren't actually educating them about deworming though, we were there to build an orphanage or something. I even asked around the village to see if anyone wanted to be educated about deworming and they didn't, so I got stuck into the building works. The work was pretty difficult, but I quite enjoyed it. We didn't get that much done as the Africans kept taking the tools from the girls and doing their jobs for them, which led to a kind of merry-go-round of work with everyone swapping just when they were starting to get the hang of it.

It was actually raally worthwhile working out thah, and quite satisfying at the end when we had a big ceremony for finishing the building when the chief thanked us for "labouring so hard in the construction of my new house. All of my people thank you for your contribution to more efficient-making government of this country."

It actually raally meant a lot to make a contribution to the lives of these people who have nothing compared to us. But before we came, they didn't have this big house, and now they have a big house, and it was just like, hello, sense of achievement.

For the whole six weeks I was out in that village, I hardly used my phone – they didn't have coverage, except on the top of a nearby hill where people would go to send texts – it was just like I couldn't be bothered, cos I was too busy helping the tribe. Everyone should have to come here, just so they realise. It's like the land speaks to you. I realised the beauty of Africa was not what we could do for it, but what it does to us.

Pretty phenomenal. I wanted to stay forever and live alongside these noble people, but I had a luxury safari booked.

• This extract is from The Gap Yah Plannah by Orlando (Fourth Estate). The book is available from Telegraph Books (£9.99 plus 99p p & p). Order on 0844 871 1515; books.telegraph.co.uk. Out on September 29. Also available as ebook and audio edition

Africa Expat Wives Club forum

2011-09-21T20:11:00.001+03:00

Over the summer, the Africa Expat Wives Club forum (click here to read or use the link on top left of this page) got invaded by spam... I didn't realise how out of control the spam had got until a friend pointed out the problem.

There were posts on how to buy Facebook friends, how to chose a wig (a favourite of mine; 'even your pet can wear a lace wig') and what to do with Viagra and then there was gobbledegook in Russian and goodness knows what else.

Anyway, I've cleared the rubbish off - a horribly time consuming task - only because I'm an idiot and realised that there was a shortcut to deleting posts on my fiftieth or sixtieth attempt. Now I can see that it's not a bad resource - there's info on what to pay domestic staff - things to do for expats in search of friends, where to live, what schools to send your kids to, where to get curtains made - where to buy a mattress (a strangely popular forum?!).

Many thanks to all those who have contributed to these discussions, notably Juniper, Morikins, Suzanne, clairel, ajpeters and many more.

Nairobi has ground to a halt

2011-09-16T14:22:00.002+03:00

Apologies for the long hiatus in writing ... I needed to take a very deep breath (especially after that Sarara pos). Now I'm ready to return and 'get everybody's backs up' (this is how a friend recently described my blog) once again.

It's true, Nairobi has ground to a halt, why? Because of the traffic. I heard on the radio last week that Nairobi's traffic is ranked fourth worst globally after Mexico City, Shenzhen and Beijing. I can well believe it.

I used to think nothing of nipping into Westlands, crossing up to Muthaiga, shopping on Mombasa road whereas now the mention of any of these places sends an absolute chill down my spine.

Last week I opted to drive my kids into school rather than use the bus because our youngest (aged 6) was starting there for the first time. Sweet. However, after four days my sentimentality had simply turned to road rage. I was spending more than 3 hours in the car each day to travel just a few kilometres. I'm ashamed to say that at one point, while static in traffic, I told my kids that we should leave Nairobi and live in England instead (unforgivable!), just because of the traffic. They all looked a bit upset.

After a couple of days in, I learned that you have to tackle the problem of Nairobi traffic by employing the tactics of a soldier in combat.

1. Never let down your guard - anything could happen - generally a mini-bus/matatu will appear out of nowhere, someone will indicate left then turn off right, pedestrians step out, you get carved up.
2. Employ covert ops - leave the house before dawn (or after 10am). If you are on the road by 6.30am you can get anywhere you want to go in 30 minutes. 6.50am and you are looking at an hour's travel, minimum, 7.30am - 2 hours.
3. Keep calm. Getting apoplectic with rage when the umpteenth person has cut in front of you will not help with your blood pressure problems.
4. Channel your aggression - have the courage of your convictions and push out at junctions - don't give in to last minute nerves or reservations.

storymoja Hay festival at Nairobi Railway Club grounds

When my mum emailed me to tell me that she had read about a Hay/Storymoja literary festival taking place in Nairobi this weekend, I was excited. When I looked at the website and saw that the venue was the Railway Club Ground, my heart sank. It didn't help that on the website, the Google map had the red arrow pointing at exactly the wrong place - somewhere on Forest Road. To get there would be a nightmare in Nairobi traffic.

However, I felt brave. Ready for battle; I set out mid morning leaving a generous hour for the journey (we are talking about a venue that is only 5 or 6 kilometres from my house). All was going well until I made the schoolboy error of falling off Upper Hill the wrong way, only to find myself doing a loop at less than walking speed round Uhuru park, all the while jammed in city traffic along Kenyatta Avenue and Uhuru Highway, with traffic lights on roundabouts that didn't work and policemen holding us up.

I finally arrived at the showground at 11.15 after already doing a U turn inside the Railway Club itself which is on the opposite side of the road (the lecture I wanted to attend started at 11am). I arrived at the Railway club grounds. There was no one there and I wondered if I was in the right place but at least there were some promising white tents across the way.

Once parked up, an askari (watchman) dressed in green ambled over and told me to re-park my car 'properly', ie at a 45 degree angle rather than straight. I looked around the deserted field and wondered if he was joking. Apparently he wasn't. Another askari joined him and I was outnumbered. I also wondeedr if there were any loos in the vicinity. A coffee before leaving home was ill advised.

I get to the ticket sales tent. There are a few trendy young people manning it, but no programmes for the weekends events and other people are vaguely stringing up bunting and sticking banners into the ground here and there. Wires to sounds systems snake across the grass. I ask if any of the lectures have started.
'Yes' an organiser says, 'I think they started five minutes ago.'
Not too bad, I think to myself - I'm now nearly half an hour late.

The travel writer from London that I'd gone to listen to did not looked impressed by my late arrival nor, to be honest, was he impressed the paltry turn out of fifteen people tops. A technician was testing a microphone in the tent throughout our session, there were various other crashes, bangs and interruptions. As the sun appeared from behind a cloud at around midday, the tent began to get swelter inside.

From past experience of attending these writers' workshops in Nairobi, I knew before arriving that the well-known foreign writers who have been invited to exciting Nairobi to look out for fresh/new Kenyan talent are disappointed to see some washed-up mzungu housewife tagging along for the ride - but I guess you have to develop a thick skin and get what you can out of these situations anyway.

We all had to produce a short piece of travel writing highlighting a place or aspect of Nairobi life that is unique, interesting and off the beaten track - then read it out in front of everybody. Again, scary. Some of the Kenyan writers were indeed very good. My voice cracked as I read my piece and I'd made it far too long.

A Telegraph journalist from London who sat in on our session asked at the end;
'Will you come back to any other events over the weekend?'
'Um, I'm not sure - it's the traffic you see.'

I then spent another hour sitting in traffic to get to the nearest shopping centre en route to the children's school to pick up a coffee and some lunch - in the shopping centre carpark, my parking space was stolen by someone who carved me up through the barrier at the last minute - after I'd patiently waited for 10 minutes for a couple of ladies to take their time loading bags into the car. Another 3 hours in traffic on the clock already and I wasn't even home yet. Grr.

Off I go now, blazing into Friday afternoon's finest rush hour. It's sure to be an adventure. Suddenly I wonder why I ever leave the house?!

Let's hope that all these new highways that have been under construction for what seems like years now, will make a difference once they are finally open. As it is, this city is unworkable.

p.s. We went to England over the summer and used a GPS while there. We bought one last year on ebay for the visit, then somehow lost it during the year in Kenya so had to buy another one since having a Satnav is far preferable to tense map reading. Having said that, we did find ourselves inexplicably travelling down some random green lanes having relied completely on our new best friend 'Tom Tom'.

My question is; does anybody else's husband look at the estimated arrival time on the satnav and then take this time on as a personal challenge - some sort of throwing down of a gauntlet? His foot presses to the floor as he tries to shave minutes off our arrival time. Adding minutes while stuck in traffic ups the ante - not only do we have to beat the original journey time estimate but make up lost time too...

UK in flames!....

2011-08-10T12:15:00.002+03:00

So rioting and break down of law and order in England... Havent we seen this somewhere before?? We are in the Uk now. This morning my husband received a text message from a colleague in Kenya asking if he is alright? Ha ha. How quickly the tables turn. Judging by the Nation Media sms-es we keep getting, the Kenya press are all over the story!

I'm wondering when we are going to see BBC reporters Orla Guerlin, Lise Ducet or Dan Brown reporting from the ravaged centre of Croydon, Clapham or Manchester?