Africa Expat Wives Club

My 5 wishes for Christmas lunch...

2015-12-24T21:51:00.001+03:00

My 5 wishes for Christmas Lunch are...

The power does not go off. Our electric oven is not connected to our small generator (as I mentioned before). No power tomorrow would spell 'turkey disaster', people!
No rain. All get-togethers in Nairobi are staged outdoors, day or night, rabid mosquitos or no. To have a rainy day would be a serious challenge for us outdoor lot and frankly, keeping 20 people outside is preferable to the possible carnage in 'indoor' party could cause.
No injuries. Having a crowd over always invites an element of a risk. No slipping on swimming pool steps, or tripping on uneven paving stones ideally.
The advantage of playing host this year is that I have got off pretty lightly with the catering. A friend is bringing an entire cooked turkey and gravy from Upper Hill. Can't argue with that! But my next wish is that the gammon/ham that I have volunteered to cook comes out as well as it normally does when my Mum is here to help. (and I hope that I don't forget entirely to put it in the oven with all the excitement of unwrapping presents!).
A safe and happy day, followed by a safe and happy journey home for all of our guests, then a well earned sigh of relief at the end of it all...

Christmas Shopping in Nairobi, it's not all beads and kikoys

2015-12-21T17:52:00.000+03:00

100% purchased in Nairobi

Following my panic of not having shopped for Christmas, I ventured out and was pleasantly surprised. Christmas shopping in Nairobi does not have to be all about kikoy trousers and beads (though that's great if that's what you are after), nowadays there is absolutely tons more on offer.

After living here for over a decade, we have all the kanga and kikoy stuff that we can handle under one roof, so are always on the lookout for something new. True, imported gifts come with a fairly hefty price tag here but we certainly can no longer moan about not having enough choice. It's all there, you just have to search out the gifts, which is perfect for me as I love the thrill of the chase and generally leave things to the last minute. All of the gift items in the photograph were bought 100% locally, even if they originall came from overseas.

And the best news for last minute shoppers like me? Nairobi is beautifully quiet this week, I guess because the up-country exodus has begun, so traffic is a breeze and today, shopping centres were really quite manageable. ;)

Shop the post:

Nakumatt Supermarket

The House of Leather

The Souk Bookshop

Zawadi gift shop

Langata Link Shops

Rono Limited

Karen Crossroads

Masai market

Video - Masai Mara Diary Part 1

2015-12-17T13:23:00.001+03:00

10 signs that say you are staying in a Luxury Safari Lodge

2015-12-17T13:22:00.000+03:00

The Definition of a Luxury Safari Camp:

Hot water bottles! The very best touch was when hot water bottles were not just placed in bed at night but also provided in the game vehicle for those early morning game drives.
A qualified safari guide. This almost goes without saying but most Kenyan guides will know so much, not just about the animals but birds too. There are now very good 'guiding' schools in Kenya where students can train for gold, silver and bronze level awards.
An ad-hoc bush dinner or breakfast. If a lodge is able to lay on at least one outdoor meal during your stay, this will make you stay even more memorable. Even better when you don't have to book or prearrange this experience, it is just laid on as a surprise.

4.Fantastic food and house drinks are included. Most safari experiences leave you groaning from extreme indulgence.

5. Safari walks. Which leads from the point above. A gentle walk with a guide may not bring you into close encounters with wild animals, but will enable you to track spore and learn a lot about local plants. An enriching experience away from the big 5.

6. Riding safaris. You have to pick the lodge carefully as not many offer riding safaris, but riding out with the animals is pretty special.

7. In-car drinks and snacks. One of the highlights of an evening game drive is to park up for 'sundowners', normally at a pre-assigned spot either on open or high ground. A cool box magically appears with some delicious crisps or popcorn or homemade snacks plus a choice of drinks. If you happen to be viewing a pride of lion at the moment that the sun goes down, then drinks can be consumed in the car!

8. The Masai or Samburu welcome. No safari is the same without the ululating welcome of a troop of Masai or Samburu. Cultural talks or tours to local Masai villages are also often laid on for guests. How to spot the difference between a Masai and a Samburu tribesman? Samburu wear beads and feathers on their heads whereas Masai do not.

9. Hot showers and Flushing loos ensuite, kind of go without saying. A bath is an added luxury.

10. A spacious tent. The epitome of luxury is space and a room with a wide viewing deck or veranda is a must for whiling away those lazy afternoons.

Crikey it's Christmas

2015-12-09T15:56:00.000+03:00

What happened? I literally feel like I am still in September. Except for the whatsapp group that has appeared on my phone for a ‘pot luck’ Christmas lunch that I a happen to be hosting. That and the sinking feeling that grabs me each day (often while driving and bored of listening to the radio), when I am reminded that I have not done any Christmas present shopping yet. And, back home, our family is BIG. Birthday cards and bunting are still hanging up in the kitchen following family celebrations a month ago. It seems I am stuck in some kind of ‘time-stands-still’ vortex.

The truth is I ditched the crowded craft fairs this year in favour of sitting at home to ‘relax’. They just came and went too early for me to get my head around, and now I’m regretting it. I’m pondering over the idea of buying two dozen Amazon vouchers for nieces, nephews and godchildren – if my credit card will stretch to that. With vouchers you sidestep the issue of trying to get random (and often a faintly puzzling selection of) presents wrapped and off to different addresses in and around the UK while I am all the way over here sitting in Kenya. I wonder if Amazon does a bulk order discount? Somehow, now that I am verbalising these thoughts in my head, this voucher theme does not really seem to be in keeping with the Christmas spirit.

Then there are our own kids. If we give them vouchers that they cannot redeem for months, then the gift will hold less appeal.

“Yay, thanks for the voucher, now I’m going to surf the net” does not really give you the same fuzzy feeling as pulling off wrapping to reveal an actual gift.

The enduring ‘expat’ excuse every Christmas is that we don’t have the sheer breadth of shopping opportunities in Kenya as we would have back home but that excuse doesn’t really wash any more. Nairobi is chock full of shops and Christmas decorations went up in the shopping centres in October. But I have another excuse, over the past decade everyone has received all the Kenyan themed presents they could ever want. Kikoy trousers, dressing gowns, towels, soapstone animals, bracelets, necklaces, beads, banana leaf boxes, books relating to Kenya, cute stuffed toys, kanga aprons, candlesticks, bush hats you name it. The theme could quite possibly be wearing thin.

I am waiting for my own night terrors to begin; the mental image of kids waking up on Christmas morning with empty stockings. My husband and I have basically declared an amnesty on the exchange of xmas gifts between us, as we both seem so adept at buying exactly what we want, exactly when we want it, so feel we don’t really deserve anything else. And to be honest, we all have everything we need. My eldest wants ‘vintage’ clothes that, literally, I wore when I was that age. Having looked at her suggested (global?!) vintage websites for a couple of hours, I could not bring myself to part with any money online (seriously, 1980s patterned sweaters and oversized fleeces?! The description says ‘expect some wear’). So it’s a trip down to mitumba for her.

My friend in the UK told me that knowing what everyone wants for Christmas and actually having access to it is not such a picnic either, since a lot of wish lists these days are tech based and woefully unaffordable. I tried convincing our youngest daughter to accept an ‘experience based’ birthday present in the summer, that involved the whole family spending the day on adventure rides in Thorpe Park. She still feels cheated. “What did I get for my 10^th birthday again? In fact, did I actually get anything?” She’s still asking 6 months later.

It’s time to pull my finger out. Before school is out in two days (that reminds me; teachers’ presents!) I’ll be heading to House of Leather for made-in-china stocking fillers. I’ll order my turkey and ham, stock-pile sparkling wine. I’ll start thinking about what everyone actually wants for Christmas, weighing up how many of those options are even faintly realistic (at this late stage).

Bah humbug.....

Ella the globetrotting, boarding school teenager

2015-12-09T15:52:00.001+03:00

Expat stereotypes: Ella the boarding school traveller

Frances Woodhams, our columnist in Kenya, takes a wry look at the behaviour of teenagers at the airport en route to the UK for the new school term

"Manhandling an overweight suitcase onto the conveyor, Ella hands over her ticket and passport briskly. The smartly dressed check-in lady raises an eyebrow as she thumbs through the passport" Photo: Alamy

9:50AM GMT 04 Dec 2015

2 Comments

Ella finds the check-in process an ordeal but feels she has mastered it. She waves her mother back into a quiet corner of the departures hall, then strides to the desk, carefully weighing up the personality of the airline attendant as she approaches.

Placing her laptop bag on the ground and manhandling an overweight suitcase onto the conveyor, Ella hands over her ticket and passport briskly. The smartly dressed check-in lady raises an eyebrow as she thumbs through the passport.

“Under 16? I don’t think that you are allowed to travel alone. You will have to be escorted.”

Ella is unfazed. “I’ve travelled back to England tons of times on my own. It’s absolutely fine.” And with that, she flicks her perfectly straight, well coiffed hair.

Wet Weather Funk

2015-12-04T11:05:00.002+03:00

Rain Coat Parade

So it’s been raining here in Nairobi. Are we still debating whether this really is El Nino? I don’t think so. Heavy downpours we might be used to during rainy season, but continual rain all day? This is the kind of English weather that I had completely forgotten about. We’ve had days at home, most notably ‘Pope Day’, where we haven’t even managed to summon up the energy to go out. During recent Sundays and public holiday days I’ve not managed to dress properly but instead lurched from computer screen, to kettle, to fridge and finally collapsed in front of the TV. Frankly, it’s been pathetic.

Many rainy days at weekends equate for us to staying home or venturing out to consume food, so, as an antidote to this, I’ve had a little think of what you can do in sheeting rain to make your day a little more meaningful.

1. Get your Bake on. Why not? You have nothing but time? However, for idiots like me with only an electric oven, this is dependent on whether you have power, as we all know that rain brings power outages. For the first time in what seemed like years, yesterday I invited some girlfriends over for lunch. Guess what? At 9am exactly the power cuts out. I finally get through to Kenya Power on the phone at around 10am – after 15 minutes on hold they confirm it, it’s a scheduled outage in my area. Electricity will be back at 5pm. So now I’m faced with the dilemma; I have 3 hours shop and re-plan the menu then produce a meal for 5 friends or I can phone a friend (with a gas oven). So 11.30am saw me beetling over to a friend’s house 2kms away with a lined pastry case, some cheese, eggs, cooked fish, leeks and cream in a cool bag and a tray of what I hoped would soon be roasted vegetables balanced on or around the passenger seat. You will be relieved to know that it all worked out. I returned home at just minutes to 1pm at the same time of the arrival of my first guest. #Only in Africa.

2. Garden. Rainy season here translates as ‘stick it in the ground and it will grow’. This could be the perfect time to go mad and plant a veg patch, buy some pots for pretty pot plants, put in a new hedge. I am the most hopeless gardener. I wondered out loud to my mum who was staying, ‘why don’t we do more with our garden?’ She replied, quick as a flash, ‘lack of interest’. And yet the little things you do do can make you so happy. Take the pot bound lemon tree that is fruiting it’s little heart out at the moment. It’s a source of great pride and all of my lunch guests admired it!

3. Get crafty. It’s so easy to give advice, but to actually do something creative? That’s a different matter. I guess that it involves a little planning and who ever plans to have a rainy day? But for now at least we must accept that the weather is what it is and plan some indoor stuff to do. I actually enjoy sewing and painting, but do I ever get around to it? Perhaps I would if I worked on a little inspiration, bought fabric or a canvas, got brushes or a sewing box organised. Could be fun?

4. Go outside. Believe it or not, people in the northern hemisphere go out in all weathers. It seems crazy to you or I but the key to getting outside on a rainy day is your kit (ie clothes that are designed for just such weathers). I haven’t owned a raincoat for 13 years now but fortunately my husband has a couple of spares. Wellies (ideally without cracks or holes) are invaluable. The advantage is that in Nairobi, it’s never actually cold. I have to admit that we embarked on a dog walk last Sunday and I’ve never been quite so drenched after 20 minutes. The rain was dripping off our eyelashes and dribbling down our necks. Our kids were blown away that they were being forced to walk in the rain. One fell apart and the other got all ‘expedition mode’ on us saying ‘it’s not that bad, we’ll get through it’. Even the dogs looked fed up. But still, getting out and drenched goes some way to justify that slobby collapse in front of the TV with popcorn later.

Relocation to Nairobi 101

2015-12-04T10:58:00.001+03:00

A Recent Interview with Expat Arrivals

Expat interviews – tell us about your expat experience!

Your answers will help inform and guide new and prospective expats in your city or country – and your responses will be published on Expat Arrivals.

About you

Q: Where are you originally from?
A: The UK

Q: Where are you living now (city + country)?
A: Nairobi, Kenya

Q: When did you move here?
A: 2003 but moved to Dar es Salaam in Tanzania first as a newlywed in 1999

Q: Did you move here alone or with a spouse/family?
A: I moved to East Africa with my then new husband. Now we have 3 daughters aged 15, 13 and 10.

Q: Why did you move; what do you do?
A: My husband grew up in Mombasa and he yearned to come back to Kenya. We met in London and when he heard of a job opening in East Africa, he leapt at it. I thought, why not?

Living abroad

Q: What do you enjoy most about your host city? How would you rate the quality of life compared to your home country?
A: Nairobi is changing so fast. It’s an exciting place to live and there are huge opportunities here. I would say that we have made sacrifices and taken risks by living out here, but we now have a very good quality of life which is possibly better than the one that we could have built in the UK over the same amount of time.

Q: Any negatives? What do you miss most about home?

A: Family mostly. I used to miss the shopping but you can buy so much here now and a slightly restricted choice (of clothes, food and going out) has never been a bad thing for me as it put the brakes on my potential spending.

Q: What are the biggest adjustments you had to make when settling into expat life here? Did you experience any particular elements of culture shock?

A: The level of security (or perceived insecurity) comes as a shock to most people. There is a distinct lack of decent public transport and so therefore your independence is limited. In this way, it is different from living in a ‘developed’ capital city. We all live in our cars and think a little bit when going out at night (although the night life is there and is fun). Most people hire a night watchman to guard your home while you are sleeping and you might employ a full time gardener to be home during the day. The hiring of a night watchman is uncomfortable for me and something that I will never get used to.

Q: What’s the cost of living compared to home? What is cheap or expensive in particular?

A: What is expensive is the cost of hiring private security guards, subscribing to emergency response services etc. We also buy drinking water. Food and utilities are more expensive than back home, however, the weather is mild year round so you obviously save on heating your home as it is unnecessary. Frankly, there is also less to spend your money on as compared to back home, so fewer temptations. The clement weather means that there is no need to change our wardrobe for the seasons and the good news is that the coffee here is second to none and a cappuccino is cheap! There are some really good coffee houses. Eating out, though not cheap, tends to be cheaper than the equivalent back home.

Q: How would you rate the public transport? What are the different options? Do you need to own a car?

A: Public transport system in Nairobi consists only of minibuses (matatus) and buses that the majority have to rely on to get around. The vehicles are poorly maintained, drive dangerously and I would not recommend using them, so having access to a car is extremely important. However, since all cars are imported, purchasing a car locally is extremely expensive. Second hand cars can cost double the amount you might pay back home.

Q: How would you rate the healthcare in your city? Have you had any particularly good/bad experiences with regards to doctors and hospitals? Are there any hospitals you would recommend?
A: Healthcare in Nairobi is pretty good. There are some very good private hospitals, The Aga Khan, Nairobi Hospital and Gertrude’s Garden (childrens’ ) Hospital are all good and, as a family, we have had various healthcare issues here that have been dealt with well. It is easy to get ‘same day’ appointments and the charges for consultations and medicines are not too high. Having said that, for any major health issue, ‘emergency repatriation’ is definitely recommended for your private healthcare insurance.

Q: What are the biggest safety issues facing expats living in your host city or country? Are there any areas expats should avoid?
A: People are fearful of the reputation that ‘Nairobbery’ has, but on arrival, most are taken aback by how friendly and welcoming the city is. In fact, I don’t know of a city that it more friendly than Nairobi. Everyone will greet you with a smile, a joke, a laugh and most expats love it and end up living here for a long time or extending their posting. In my view, Nairobi is very far from the ‘hardship posting’ that some international organisations refer to it as – so in expat circles Nairobi is a ‘best kept secret’.

To be honest, the friendly and relaxed vibe of the city sometimes lulls you into a false sense of security. As with any capital, just be aware of your surroundings, keep your bags close when sitting in restaurants etc, don’t leave valuables lying around, don’t get into unmarked vehicles (ask your taxi driver for ID), keep doors locked when driving etc. As an expat, you are a target but the irony is that the Kenyan middle classes are much more prone to petty cons, scams and home break-ins as they do not have the big cars, private home security and higher profile that the expats have.

Q: How do you rate the standard of housing in the city? What different options are available for expats?
A: Having lived in Nairobi for the past 13 years, the housing market has changed radically. Expats used to be able to expect to rent a self contained former colonial style bungalow or house with a sizeable garden but due to the radical rise in land values, the norm is now more apartment living or for families, town house dwellings (clusters of 10 or so 4-5 bed town houses on a shared plot). Rents are also expensive, so be prepared. Apartments cost upwards of 100,000 Kenya shillings per month ($1,000) and larger town houses with gardens can cost 280,000-350,000 Kenya shillings ($2,800-3,500 approx).

Q: Any areas/suburbs you’d recommend for expats to live in?
A: There are so many great suburbs and nowadays, most have satellite local shopping centres providing services, restaurants, cinemas etc. There are also some very good schools around the city. When moving to Nairobi, do bear in mind where you workplace is and try to live fairly near or at least, work out your best route to work. Also consider location of schools for your kids. Rush hour traffic is world famously bad and the last thing you want is a crazy commute if possible.

· Lavington – getting more built up but still some nice family homes available.
· Kileleshwa,Kilimani – younger crowd, more apartments.
· Karen, Langata – far out of town but many commute from here to the industrial area and the new ‘Southern Bypass’ that runs through Karen means that you can get into Westlands via a circuitous route, avoiding traffic. Benefits are larger houses and gardens/more space.
· Runda, Gigiri, Muthaiga – northern suburbs near the UN headquarters and embassies
· Westlands – this used to be the ‘going out’ centre with lots of shops and restaurants but increasingly there are major office developments here. Many apartments and/or smaller town house options.
· Kitisuru, Spring Valley, Lower Kabete – Western suburbs with good access to Westlands
Meeting people and making friends

Q: How tolerant are the locals of foreigners? Is there any obvious discrimination against particular religions or women etc.?

A: As I mentioned before, people in Kenya are completely charming. The society is fairly conservative and old fashioned in many ways (conservative dress and old fashioned manners), so it is important to stay respectful and make an effort to fit in. Most conversations should start with ‘how are you’ rather than demanding immediately what you want. People respond best to politeness and a smile is always appreciated.

Q: Was it easy meeting people and making friends? How did you go about meeting new people?
A: To be honest, it is not all that easy to meet other people. If you live in a town house complex, then you may meet neighbours. Kids of school going age are always going to help you but there is not a cohesive ‘expat scene’ but instead it is mixed. Your neighbours will be Kenyans and expats mixed together, which I think is a good thing.

Q: Have you made friends with locals or do you mix mainly with other expats? What advice would you give to new expats looking to make friends? Any social/expat groups you can recommend?
A: I have a mix of friends. Mostly expats like me who have been living here long term and some local Kenyans (both Indian and Kenyan), both sets of friends have mostly come to me via the school network. Many make friends through work if it is a foreign organisation with a group of expat employees. Quite a few of my expat friends have moved on, which is always sad. I mainly keep busy through working on various freelance contracts. You can also make friends through local health clubs and activities. There’s a good website called Kenyabuzz, which has listings of clubs etc.

About working here

Q: Did you have a problem getting a visa or work permit? Did you tackle the visa process yourself or did you enlist the services of an immigration consultant?
A: Getting a work permit is a bit of a nightmare to be honest and very costly. You are looking at spending around 300,000 Kenya shillings ($3,000) for a 2 year permit (for an investor’s permit for freelance work, or an ‘A’ permit for full time employment). The official fee is just over 200,000 Kenya shillings and the processing fee is another 100,000. I used an immigration consultant and most of these are accountants or lawyers. There are a number of hoops to jump through when applying for a work permit (such as providing original education certificates etc) and the process can take upwards of 3 months. Plus a positive outcome of getting a permit is by no means guaranteed.

Q: What’s the economic climate like in the city? Do you have any tips for expats looking to find a job there? Which resources did you find most useful?

A: Somebody recently described Nairobi as ‘being on steroids’ and I think that she was spot on. The speed of how fast the city is developing is breathtaking. There has been a building boom for the past 10 years and infrastructure is struggling to keep up. We have had Obama visit Nairobi in July 2015 and the Pope is due here this month (November 2015). This high profile attention is testament to the growing importance of, not just Nairobi as a hub, but East Africa on the world stage.

Re: Looking for a job. I would try Linkedin and there are local employment agencies. Keep your eyes on relevant websites etc.

Q: How does the work culture differ from home? Do you have any tips for expats doing business in the city/country?
A: The work ethic in Nairobi is fairly strong. Most people will get up at around 5am and be in the office early. They then knock off at 5pm in order to battle the traffic home. You will find that many Kenyans have a ‘side hustle’ business as well as their 8am-5pm job. This is a nation of entrepreneurs.

Family and children

Q: Did your spouse or partner have problems adjusting to their new home? Do you think there are any specific challenges for a trailing spouse?
A: Many people have problems adjusting due to the reduction in independence you might feel, especially as a trailing spouse. You can’t just jump on a train to get out of town, or ride a subway to cross town. You are bound to getting around by car which can be time consuming and frustrating. There are incidences of muggings even in quieter neighbourhoods, so many people do not walk or jog around the streets near their home without thinking twice. It’s unusual to see an expat walk down to their local shops; you are more likely to drive to a secure mall. It’s hard for teenagers as Nairobi city life can be the most restrictive for them in some ways. Many rely on private drivers to get them around and going out at night is perceived to be more dangerous than back home, so parents will worry.

Q: Did your children settle in easily? What were the biggest challenges for your children during the move?
A: All our kids were born here in East Africa so that is a tricky question, having said that, life for younger kids is great. First of all, parents of small children can enjoy the benefits of employing a full time nanny or ayah. This is the norm, not just for expats but for most working and upper class Kenyans too. The climate is such that kids can play outside every day, year round. As the kids get older, they can enjoy the benefit of some very good private kindergartens and primary schools with lots of great outdoor sports on offer. The field narrows a bit when you get to secondary level but there are still good options.

Q: What are the schools like, any particular suggestions?

A: The main private schools that expats choose in Kenya follow the British Curriculum and these schools are members of the IAPS (Independent association of preparatory schools). There are also a couple of schools that follow the US/International curriculum (International School Kenya/ISK, Rosslyn Ridge, West Nairobi School). There are also Montessori and Waldorf primary schools as well as a dedicated French and a German school in Nairobi.

Main Options for Primary (many have kindergartens attached)

· Peponi Prep - feeder kindergarten located nearby is Kabete Kindergarten. Located on Lower Kabete Road not far from Westlands.

· Kenton College - no feeder kindergarten but many kids go to Kensington Kindergarten nearby. Located in Kileleshwa, (near Lavington/Kilimani)

· Braeburn School - with kindergarten (?). Lavington.

· The Banda - with feeder kindergarten on same campus, located in Langata (good for a commute to the industrial area/airport road)

· Hillcrest - with feeder kindergarten on same campus, located in Karen.

· Brookhouse - also in Langata.

· Pembroke House boarding school, located 2 hours out of Nairobi but is a popular boarding prep school with horse riding etc.

· GEMS

Main Options for Secondary

Hillcrest

Brookhouse

Braeburn and Braeburn Garden City

Peponi Secondary

St Andrews Turi (boarding, located 3 hours from Nairobi)

ISK

GEMS school

And finally…

Q: Is there any other advice you would like to offer new expat arrivals?
A: Take the plunge as the benefits are huge. What I love about East Africa is that you are free to give anything a go without so many of the formal restrictions of the Western World. For me, living overseas gave me the opportunity to explore writing and editing as a career, without having to have much in the way of formal training. Take a lead from the Kenyans around you and flex your entrepreneurship muscle. Enjoy the fact that you are living in a space in the developing world that is, in some ways, more sophisticated an environment than back home. Kenyans are well educated and speak a minimum of 3 languages. There is a lot to learn.

Corruption is endemic Kenya’s major institutions, which is a problem for the country but there is a huge swathe of Kenyan middle class who are moving forward at a great speed in spite of this.

My best piece of advice? Keep an open mind.

Counting The Cost of Moving Abroad

2015-12-01T17:45:00.000+03:00

Guest Post:

So, you’re thinking about making the move abroad? It’s a thrilling prospect – but there are more than a few hoops to jump through before even considering setting foot on a plane. Most importantly, have you thought about the costs involved?

1. How will you exchange your currency?

When going on holiday, exchanging a few hundred pounds for spending money can often be done through your bank. But when moving abroad, you’ll probably have to exchange a lump sum, so it’s worth doing your homework and finding a foreign currency broker that can offer you a low rate, as this could save lots of money.

2. What about the cost of living?

A good way to figure this out is to visit the place where you would like to move to, and make notes on the general cost of everyday items like milk and sugar, as well as meals out and other activities you plan on enjoying.

However, for a broader picture, head to expat forums to find out more about the cost of utilities, rent, and so on. You should draw up a realistic budget plan using these figures to see if it’s affordable.

Key things to look out for in this budget are healthcare and education. In Nairobi, for instance, schooling can be expensive – as much as 25% of your wage if you have two or more children, explained in this helpful post. The majority are advised to take out private medical insurance.

3. What transport will you use?

Transport can be one of the biggest outgoings here in the UK and circumstances can be similar abroad. It’s worth finding out what the infrastructure is like for public transport in your destination of choice.

If you plan on driving, check whether it’s cheaper to buy a car once you move over, or have your existing car shipped across – for instance, purchasing a second hand car in Nairobi can be a huge expense since they are imported and heavily taxed, so can cost ten times the amount that they do in the UK. However, you do have a window of a few months after arrival to ship your own car into the country, duty free.

4. How will your pension be affected?

In the UK, your pension will rise every year. However, if you’re retired, it will depend on which country you’re moving to as to whether your pension increases each year, or stays at a frozen rate. There are lots of factors that could potentially be at play here, so contact the International Pension Centre for information on how you could be affected.

If you’re not retired yet, though, then you should still be able to pay into a UK pension scheme from abroad, should you wish to. In any case, it’s worth making plans for your retirement, whether you plan to remain living abroad or you decide to return to the UK. More advice is available in this post from the Pension Advisory Service.

And don’t forget…

4. Taxes

Lots to remember here – perhaps most importantly, tell the HMRC that you’re leaving the country. This will mean that you can avoid paying tax twice, in the UK and your new home, though there are exceptions – you may have to pay tax on properties you own in the UK, for example. Find out more here.

5. Pets

Will you take them with you? If so, arrange for the necessary vaccinations and immunisations in plenty of time, get them microchipped, and look into the best options for transporting them to your new home.

6. A fund for annual visits home

Chances are, you’ll want to visit the UK to see friends and family at some point but how frequently can depend on how far you’ll be moving, and of course your budget. Include the cost of trips home when planning your annual budget, as undoubtedly you will need to return home from time to time.

And how best to settle in once you get there? We’ve got some great tips on how to integrate into a new community in this blog post.

My Weekly Veg Shop in Half an Hour

2015-11-28T13:00:00.002+03:00

Saturday morning is often about hot footing it down to the Organic Farmer’s Market in the garden of Purdy Arms in Karen. The market itself has mushroomed and sells not just a huge range of veg but meat, local crafts, breads, cakes, teas, handmade soaps, clothes, kikoys etc.

I try to whip around in record time but end up browsing. My staple shopping list will be:

Broccoli, lettuce, tomatoes, a butternut squash, spinach, potatoes (I love the tiny new potatoes), fresh eggs, carrots, a baguette, gouda, some Dutch stroopwafels (syrup biscuits).

And then the serious browsing begins. More often than not I veer wildly from my original list with some iced cinnamon buns, homemade ice cream, chilly pastes, spices and sauces, german sausage, pretzels, some walnut baklava, a pair of brass earrings, a horn bracelet, a basket, a beaded belt (the latter of which I convince myself are gifts for family members but I end up keeping these pretty things myself).

Remember: Bring lots of cash or arrive armed with MPesa. This kind of shopping is dangerous as you end up spending more than you planned! I am generally down to my last shillings when I leave. Thank goodness parking is free!

The vendor suggested drinking hibiscus tea with fresh ginger and lemon

Why the Pope is Dope

2015-11-25T12:32:00.003+03:00

1. The Argentinean Pope chose his Papal name after St Francis of Assisi, to show his commitment to the poor and love for peace. While in Nairobi, he will be visiting Kangemi slum. His philosophy on life is centred around simplicity and humility.

2. Known as the ‘humble Pope’ he has chosen to eschew the normally lavish robes and jewels of the Papacy, preferring to wear the more humble robes of a priest, black lace-up shoes (traditionally the pope wears red shoes) and a silver rather than a gold ring. He lives in a Vatican guest house rather than the official Papal apartments. While in the US in September, he opted to ride around in a small black, Italian made Fiat car, rather than the better known ‘Popemobile’.

3. A people’s Pope. In Nairobi, about 1.4 million people are expected to turn out for a Papal mass tomorrow. This will cause a problem for security. The central business district will be closed and around 10,000 police officers will be deployed. “We are encouraging Kenyans to flock into the city in their numbers to cheer the pope and celebrate mass with him,” said a presidential spokesperson, Manoah Esipisu.

4. The previous Papal visit to Kenya was in 1995. Pope John Paul II visited 3 times during his Papacy. On this trip, Pope Francis will be in Kenya, Uganda and then the Central African Republic. Fox News lead the news story of this Papal visit with the headline; 'Pope Visits War-Torn Africa' which did not go down well in Kenya, spawning the hashtag #SomeoneTellFoxNews.

5. In a recent survey, Kenyans were asked which issues they most wanted Pope Francis to address. Among the 777 Kenyans polled, 65 per cent would like the head of the Catholic Church to preach the message of peaceful co-existence among communities, while 24 per cent of Catholics and non-Catholics think the Pope should address corruption. Yesterday, President Kenyatta announced a major reshuffle in Government that saw him sack x5 cabinet secretaries for their connections with graft.

Masai Market Bargaining Tips

2015-11-19T09:39:00.001+03:00

First of all, I have to confess that I am hopeless at bargaining. I will fall in love with something and then will accept the price far too willingly. Sometimes I feel that it is a little mean to hammer the price down too low – largely because the sellers far outnumber the buyers in these markets. However, I have been knocking around these markets for long enough to see how others do it and have picked up a few tips of my own.

1. Think before you shop. What do you want to buy and how much have you got to spend. It’s amazing how a tight budget will help you hone those bargaining skills! It’s also a good idea to have some lower denomination notes and change with you. Waiting for change to be found amongst other market vendors can double the time of your transaction – however, don’t worry – your trader might disappear for 10 minutes but they fully intend to find you to give you the change owed. I have never experienced a ‘disappearing act’ in these cases.

2. Walking around the market with all of those goods laid out on the ground can be overwhelming. Not only is it a technicolour feast for the eye, but every time you want to bend over and look at anything at all closely, you are hit with a hard sales spiel that is impossible to ignore. Don’t be bullied. Look at and pick up anything you like and don’t be afraid to put it right back down again. My cop out is the phrase; ‘Nitarudi baadai’ – ‘I’ll come back later’. My advice is have a good look around to ‘get your eye in’ before buying anything. Check out the opening price of a Tusker T-shirt with a few vendors, before opening your negotiation.

3. Go low. Generally the vendor will give you an opening price. They use a few tricks, such as whispering to create the impression that their competitors should not hear or telling you that you are ‘opening their business for the day’, i.e. you are their first customer. And that they are giving you the ‘local price’ not ‘tourist price’. All of this gives the impression that you are being taken into the vendor’s confidence. In spite of the guilt you might feel – go in at less than half the opening price. I generally end up settling on a price somewhere just above half but people who bargain better than me can often wind up paying less than half.

4. Don’t be afraid to walk away. Yes, go on! Walk away!! The vendors might convince you to come back straight away to ‘talk’ – however, others will let you go. Just remember, time is on your side. After what has presumably a fairly stressful few moments of heavy bargaining, go away and decide if you really do want the item or not. If the vendor is not concerned about you going, then you are probably pushing for too low a price.

5. Show the money. When you and the vendor are quibbling over the last few hundred shillings, then pulling out a note or two can really seal the deal. If you say, well I have 600 bob, and that’s all I have left, then hand over said notes, the feeling of that currency in the vendor’s hand is often enough for them to agree to your terms. (This is where I feel guilty and start fishing around for coins to make up an extra 50 bob). Remember that you might need to keep a couple of small notes for your parking fee!

6. Are you happy? Are you comfortable with the price you paid? I know that other people are better at bargaining than me but at the end of the day, if I have paid a price that I was happy with and that was within my budget, then that is more important to me than screwing the vendor down to the last possible shilling. (By now you can tell that I am a hopeless business woman!). Also, save enough cash for a ‘recovery’ cappuccino and a cake later (or something stronger). It’s amazing how the noise and excitement of the market can make you come over all weak and funny.

So sorry Paris

2015-11-16T12:17:00.001+03:00

Parisians are reeling in shock and mourning after Friday's attacks but for those in Nairobi, our thoughts cannot help but spin back to the Westgate Mall (Sept 2013)and Garissa University (April 2015) attacks. The tragedy is that there is no possible defense against these types of terror attacks. After the Westgate shopping centre was stormed by armed gunmen leaving over 65 dead (and the Garissa University attack where 147 were killed), there was shock, a pulling together of the community and later, anger. Thankfully I was not mourning the loss of a loved one but I felt deeply angry that a handful of individuals could cause so much death and carnage in their wake. I hated the thought of those terrorists with their warped intentions and also hated feeling fearful about going to do my supermarket shop, fearful about putting my kids on the bus to school or going to the cinema, or fearful about just doing normal day-to-day things and that resentment is still there under the surface.

How did we evolve or change our behaviour in Nairobi since the terror attacks here? By increasing security in schools, shopping centres, hotels and office buildings; and this is not comfortable to live with. Every car is checked and every person scanned. We go through this process every day, sometimes multiple times. Labour is cheap so there are security personnel from private companies everywhere. Before driving into a car park, you will be asked by uniformed security guards to stop, unlock your car, open your car boot, side doors and glove compartment. Sometimes you have to get out of the vehicle entirely so that the underside of your seat can be checked. The guard will walk around your car with a ground level mirror to check your car's chassis and more recently, high tech, ground level scanning machines and bollards or spikes that sink into the ground have been introduced at the main airport, shopping centres and hotel entrances. And more sophisticated scanning systems are on their way.

Next, on entering the mall on foot, more security guards will ask you to open your handbag in order for it to be searched, or hand it over as you walk through a scanner similar to those found in airports. Security guards in smaller centres have hand held scanners that beep furiously when wafted around your frame. Female security guards check women and men, the men. Kids are bemused. "Why didn't she search me Mummy, I could be carrying a bomb," my 9 year old said on more than one occasion.

Being scanned and checked endlessly is intrusive and sometimes annoying (woe betide you if you are in hurry) but has also been grudgingly accepted as a part of life in Nairobi today. Are endless security checks the answer to living with the threat of extremist terrorism? I doubt it.

We watched helplessly as the tourist sector fell off a cliff as the rest of the world recoiled from Kenya. The subsequent Ebola outbreak in West Africa affected the East as 'the final nail in the coffin', even though there was never a single case found here. After the Westgate attack, the kids complained of nightmares and underwent 'duck and cover' drills at school. After an attack, you say that you are not afraid but of course, that's not how you feel. Only time can go some way to healing those feelings but when a car backfires - everyone still jumps. For a few years, fireworks were banned in the city because the bangs sounded too much like grenades (at the time there was a spate of grenades being thrown into public service vehicles or minibuses). For a long while, you think very carefully about which table you choose in a restaurant and take note of emergency exits in the supermarket.

I am so sorry Paris. We already knew how these terrorists operate and the powerlessness you feel is the worst aspect of it.

Telegraph Article from July 2014: Kenya terror hoax texts causing fear for expats

Your call would be attended to shortly....

2015-11-13T20:13:00.000+03:00

This has been one of those weeks where any plans you might have had at the outset are pretty much out of the window by Thursday. Why? Because it's raining and so the week went like this:

Monday - no power (electricity)
Tuesday - no internet (but power was back)
Wednesday - no power
Thursday - no power
Friday - power and internet - yay! Friday 13th is apparently lucky for some!

On Monday and even Tuesday I was okay with the situation. I made plans to shower elsewhere. Only cooked food that worked on the hob etc. Went out to buy diesel for our tiny generator that can't summon enough strength to run a fridge, but basic lights are okay. By Thursday the fridge was smelling pretty high. At our 6am breakfast, when I reached in for the milk I got pained exclamations from my husband and the kids so that the fridge door could only be opened a crack. Fortunately I found the green, moldy ham this morning so the stink has finally abated. I even got into the groove of phoning Kenya Power (KPLC) fairly often and having endless lists of account and report numbers scribbled in pencil on scraps of paper handy.

The laugh-out-loud, British 'Eliza Doolittle' voice of the automated answering service even got old - and normally it's hysterical. This extremely strange female British accent says "all of our customer service agents are busy (normal spiel), your call would be attended too shortly (very strange grammar and lots of emp-far-sis on the wrong syl-I-ble !?)' and it's on a loop - obviously - because the agents are always busy, especially when it's raining. The hold music went on for so long that there was ample time to start imagining the person behind the peculiar voice. A lady in India who had been trained by a voice coach who harked back to 1912? A British woman with delusions of grandeur, or a clever Kenyan who self taught by taking her cue from recordings of BBC World Service circa 1930.

If, after spending a minimum of 15 minutes on hold and by the grace of a small miracle, a person answers the phone, then you are in luck - but I can't help blustering at this point. "I have had no power for 3 days out of 4 this week and it really is unacceptable" I say. Invariably the customer service man or woman then hangs up. It's an abrupt ending to a frustrating wait.

To be honest, it's not as bad as it sounds as we did have some power on Monday and Wednesday night, through some notably biblical weather. I know that others around town have had much worse power cuts this week (no wonder our Mum's whatsapp group has been quiet, our iphones batteries are all dead). But why the power outage was a little frustrating for me was that I was trying to do something very important and that was move this blog and set up a social media empire!

Folks, the plunge has been taken. A new 'Africa Expat Wives Club' site is in the offing. I am really excited about it because it's a vanity project - no, not really, because it's been a creative process and a fun one and hopefully this will be the beginning of something new and fabulous. I hope you like the new logo above. It struck me today that the stiletto heel might be a bit 'stripper-y' - but hey ho.

Today, I tentatively opened a Facebook account - (yee gads - it has only taken me 10 years! - I fear that Big Brother truly knows where I am now). Instagram is next on the list and after that, (shudder), Twitter... I think that opening a YouTube account to upload my first vlog might have to be next week or the week after - electricity permitting and depending on how long it takes me to master 'i-movies' (thinking about it, that could be months!). On my first attempt at recording a vlog there was much eye-rolling from my teenage daughter who really could not believe that I was so inept at taking selfies, let alone speaking into the camera. It could be an epic fail - but at least I tried. Life is too short for standing still.

8 'Did you Know?' Facts about Masai

2015-11-09T13:05:00.001+03:00

The Masai are still free spirits

1. Masai and Cattle
The Masai believe that they were placed on earth by their God, known as Enkai or Engai, along with all of the world's cattle, ergo, they believe that all cows belong to them. The Masai's job or calling in life is to care for and be responsible for all cattle. The Masai's individual wealth is measured in cattle and cows are traded as currency.

2. Where are they from?
The Masai originated in South Sudan and migrated south due to drought and the disease Rinderpest (or cattle plague) which was threatening their cows in the second half of the 19th century.

3. Masai Place Names
A lot of places in Kenya were given names by the Masai:

Nairobi (the Maa meaning is 'cool place' - because of the cooler, high altitude climage)
Masai Mara ('spotted plain' due to the distinctive shape of the Acacia trees that punctuate the landscape)
Serengeti ('endless plain' - its vast!)
Nanyuki ('place of red soil' - it's very red and it's hard to get out of your clothes!)
Kijabe - ('windy place', Kijabe is located on the edge of the Rift Valley)

4. Masai Groups and Languages

Masai language is Maa and the strongly patriarchal culture is punctuated by a great many ceremonies. The Masai are split into 3 official groups in Kenya: Samburu, Njemp (a small tribe based around Lake Baringo) and the main group, Purko. They all speak Maa but with different dialects.

5. The Name 'Ole' means 'Son of'.

Family groups in Masai culture are very strong. Some family lines produce whole strings of tribal leaders. Young, uncircumcised youth greet their elders by bowing their heads (waiting for the head to be touched by a hand). They would never offer up a hand to be shaken. This would be considered too forward. There are tons of place and lodge names in Kenya called 'Ole' something....

6. What Did they Wear?
When the first foreign settlers arrived in Kenya in the 19th century, The Masai resisted converting to Christianity or Islam. The Masai originally clothed themselves in cowskin (later sheep and goat hides after they were introduced to caring for these animals a alongside cows by colonial arrivals).

7. Where are Today's Red Shuka's from?

One strong theory is that the distinctive Masai shukas or red checked blankets worn today were introduced by Scottish regiments based in Masai areas, and are based on tartan designs. Once wearing these cloths caught on in the Masai culture, the red checked cloth was woven locally by Indian traders in their preferred red colour.

8. Why Red?

The Masai have always used to ocre to colour their skin red Why? To scare wild animals away from cows and to be identified by one another during a period when cattle rustling and inter tribal fighting was a problem.

*With special thanks to the Masai nature expert and wildlife guide 'Daniel' who I met at Ngerende Island Lodge in the Masai Mara. (He chose this Biblical name because of the story of Daniel in the Lion's Den, learned at school. Very apt I thought!).

also watch: Masai Cricket starts fight against FGM

Rainy Morning

2015-10-29T12:30:00.004+03:00

Being on the road early this rainy weekday morning was a sobering experience in Nairobi. The rains have started and boy does the landscape change.

So picture this; at 6.30am, when the grey first light was struggling to appear, pedestrians were getting soaked. This week, since the onset on the rains, roadside verges have morphed from compacted earth to sludgy puddles and potholes. There are no safe pavements or places to walk so people take to the tarmac in their thin coats and floppy umbrellas, darting back onto the mud when cars pass. As a driver, extra care must be taken to avoid spraying people who walk or cycle past.

6am is one of the most busy times of day in the city. Dawn is when the day officially starts year-round. Night guards make their way home as others hustle to their jobs and offices before the dreaded jam really starts. Kids are off to school, some of them very tiny and often unaccompanied. Bobble hats bouncing as they leap over puddles.

Wet weather gear is loosely translated in Nairobi. It’s not needed that often and it’s never really cold, so anything goes. As roughly dug rain ditches ran furiously in the pouring rain carrying rubbish to goodness knows where, pedestrians, some men in smart dark suits and women in jackets and high heeled boots, struggled over the mud to make their way to the city buses. Others walked fast with no protection from the rain whatsoever, seemingly oblivious to the wet conditions - or rather, just accepting it. I saw one man wearing a full length bin bag sized, clear plastic bag as an improvised rain coat. He had made a hole for his head. A minute later another man passed wearing a similar bag but this time it came right over his face with no hole. Another man wore a small black plastic bag perched on his head. It was filled with air so was billowing the wind as he jogged along. A plastic bag is often used as an effective rain hood here for men and women and nobody raises an eyebrow.

I felt sp guilty sitting in my warm car with misted up windows, moving cautiously as part of the queue of cars shuffling into town. The radio presenter talked about Nairobi traffic jams and floods. Many people will be sitting in wet clothes and muddy shoes today, even though the sun is now shining by lunchtime. The disparity of wealth was very clear to see this morning.

Image Credit - Daily Mail

Expat Stereotypes - Mrs Blake, the Kenyan OAP

2015-10-23T18:28:00.000+03:00

The latest Kenya expat stereotypes is out! You can subscribe to The Telegraph Expat Newsletter here:

	Friday, October 23, 2015

Expat

The clocks are about to go back, and we’re in for a long winter. So here are some reasons to be cheerful …

Expat stereotypes: Mrs Blake, the Kenya OAP

In the latest of her tongue-in-cheek profiles of characters found in Kenya, Frances Woodhams looks at a no-nonsense old-timer as she heads out shopping

Life in Myanmar: don't let a little curfew spoil the party

Newly arrived expat Jennifer Rigby soon found that rules are made to be broken (well sometimes anyway)

Paying for a pension uplift – is it worth it?

As the Government offers the opportunity to boost your old age income, our Expat Money columnist says it all depends on how long you'll live

You are welcome: Nigeria’s flexible invitation situation

Expat in Abjuja Clementine Wallop finds that hosts pay little attention to numbers or guestlists

Expat Money

Forex focus: Where should James Bond go to get bang for his buck?

Revealed: the 10 countries toughest on tax evaders

Expat Health

Ebola worker: 'I gave up my job as a chartered surveyor to battle the epidemic'

Doctor's diary: do you know where you stand if disease or disaster strike?

Expat education

Exam focus in China 'robbing the young' of social skills

It's true, grammar schools are not about equality - that's why we should build more of them

Expat galleries

Revealed: America's favourite British accents

It's all looking rosy: English apples at their best

Puppy-sitting

2015-10-19T14:16:00.003+03:00

We have been babysitting a puppy this weekend. Tomorrow we hand her back. I am not sure that this was a particularly fantastic idea. Why? Because we’ve all fallen deeply in love. And what is worse? My friend whose puppy we are babysitting suggested that we get one of our own way back in August when there were a few available. The kids and my husband were all keen but evil mother that I am said ‘no’ – (August is not a great month in Nairobi and fresh back from a trip back to the UK, at that point I was feeling far from positive about life).

Now I regret it. She’s a cutie. A bundle of fun and we are even coping with her night wailing. She loves to inflict maximum emotional blackmail when cruelly left abandoned in the kitchen at night (albeit with our older Springer Spaniel whose nerves are wearing thin at the moment!).

By Tuesday night we will all be in deep gloom. The house will fall silent and whose fault will that be? Yours truly of course. Duh!

I would like you all to know that that is not a real snake!

Anyone know of a Springer Spaniel puppy that we can buy before my family disowns me?

Purple Haze - 3 things you might not know about Jacarandas

2015-10-15T12:08:00.000+03:00

I don't think that I've ever seen the Jacaranda looking so fantastic in Nairobi.

We had one downpour and very wet morning for a few hours early on Tuesday but so far that's it, the sun is still shining!

3 Things that you might not know about Jacaranda trees

1. Don’t prune a jacaranda as it will spoil the shape forever. When you prune a jacaranda it sends up vertical shoots whereas ideally it should retain an elegant umbrella shape. The make great shade trees not just to line streets but as a centre piece in a garden, creating an impressive carpet of purple when their flowers drop.

2. Jacarandas are originally from Brazil. They are deciduous because of the monsoonal wet and dry seasons. Nairobi’s first jacaranda trees were planted in around 1926 after Jim Jameson from Kimberly, Australia submitted his town planning report for the city and got planting in a big way. Elsewhere in Africa, Pretoria is particularly breathtaking in October when their Jacarandas are in bloom.

3. Jacaranda trees are greedy. They drink a lot and pull a lot of nutrients from the soil which makes it hard to grow much underneath. They briefly drop their leaves at the end of the dry season. Don’t place a jacaranda overhanging a swimming pool as their tiny, feathery leaves will quickly clog the filter.

For more info and some great 'Know Your Garden' courses, contact the Kenya Horticultural Society

I love the fruit seller in this picture.

Check out more fabulous jacaranda images on 'Africa, this is why I live here'. Facebook page.

Living behind bars

2015-10-11T21:37:00.005+03:00

‘Nairobbery’ – is the first thing that anyone says when you mention that you live in Nairobi. Sometimes I raise an eyebrow. Does crime not happen in any other capital city? Ahh, but Nairobi is worse, non?

Well to be honest, the last couple of weeks haven’t been great. There has been a spate of street robberies or muggings taking place right outside our house in broad daylight. The thieves tend to prefer weekends or mid morning. They pick a time when the neighbourhood is quiet and you don’t have cars dashing through too and from work who might be potential witnesses.

I have always felt pretty comfortable walking the block around our house. My husband jogs and sometimes he takes the kids. We’ve been thinking twice since a family out walking last Sunday were robbed at gunpoint. The man holding the gun decided to hold it to one of the children’s heads. The parents were pretty skeptical that it was indeed a real gun, but at that point, they weren’t going to ask questions. Another lady was mugged while out jogging. She was only carrying a phone.

The Modus Operandi is very fast. A pedestrian (who is the thief) threatens a potential ‘high net worth’ individual/or individuals who are area residents, with a gun. The hapless victims hands over their valuables – which quite honestly is generally not much since if you have any sense, you are not going to go out walking or jogging with the family silver. At best the thieves get a phone, perhaps a watch and at best 1,000 bob ($10). The thief then calls a motorbike accomplice and they take off at speed.

It’s pretty nasty to feel threatened in your own neighbourhood and fearful to go out of your gate but this type of crime nothing new. We are the privileged. It happens in very poor neighbourhoods and a lot of middle class neighbourhoods all the time.

My husband met up with the area police chief with some other concerned residents. The police said that they were aware of the problem and were doing their best to tackle it in a variety of ways. Sadly, even with the best of intentions, the local police are woefully ill equipped. When you go down to the area station, they hardly have a pen and a piece of paper in there. There’s a dirt floor and a large exercise book for logging your crimes. That’s literally it. No computer, no forms, no radios, nothing. Having said that, I did see a quad bike circling our neighbourhood with four heavily armed special police on board the other day. Perhaps back-up had been called.

I feel incredibly awful for the people who have gone through this experience and am fully aware that any moment, this could be me. When it does happen, it's not going to be nice at all, however (not wanting to belittle the crimes at all), after some Chinese whispers and loose talk at the club, the tendency is to let this fear get the better of us. Don’t walk, don’t go out, don’t live and certainly don’t enjoy life.

So, when an opportunity arose to take life by the proverbials, rather than hide at home, I decided to grab it. I went out! Yes! Westlands! Of course I had not initiated this but when I was invited, I decided to go along. The evening started with a terrifying night drive via Kikuyu to Waiyaki Way where I proceeded to the Safaricom Michael Joseph Centre for an electrifying ‘Calories for Charity’ Zumba evening. I arrived late with a friend to find over 150 people wiggling in front of a stage to a pounding beat. I tried to ingratiate myself into the crowd, but was unwilling to fall right to the back for fear of not following any of the routines, so plumped for the middle. I got some disapproving looks for cutting in, but I did choose a place behind a pillar, so as not to annoy too many people. The place was jumping – and boy, was it sweating too. Hundreds of ‘after work on Friday’ dancers shaking their stuff to a revolving group of dance leaders. We were dancing for over three and a half hours. The sweat was pouring. I looked at my watch – it was WAY past my bedtime. We showered (I forgot a towel so had to improvise with a bit of drying with my gym kit). I dried my hair, slapped on some slap over my pink cheeks, looked at my watch a few hundred times and then we went out! It was 11pm – a long way past my bedtime. (how middle aged can you get).

Inside Havana Bar and Restaurant - Image from www.Tripadvisor.com (the painting says it all!)

It’s amazing how easy it is to get a slap up delicious, steak and chips meal at midnight in town. We went to Havanas bar, which was fab. I loved the cheeky Michael Soi paintings that look like they’ve been there forever. Followed by Gypsy’s for yet more dancing (my knees were crying out for mercy by this point!) and a lot of craziness. The best bit was that I was still so sober after all the dancing, so felt like I was experiencing the whole evening like a very clear headed fly on the wall – just soaking it all in. And wow, there was a lot of colour. This wild Nairobi night life was a total eye opener for me. A friend grabbed an Uber cab home when she’d had enough. My ride wanted to keep on dancing.

Streetside - Outside Havana - image courtesy of www.Kenyabuzz.co.ke

A group of us girls were out with our Zumba instructor and his girlfriend. We were discussing whether to carry bags and phones with us into the bar or leave them in the car. We decided the car was the best option – better safe than sorry. Our Kenyan friend said, ‘don’t be so negative about Nairobi.’ There were people spilling out of bars and dancing on the street. It was fun. I got home just shy of 3am and boy, it felt good.

I don't want to come across as glib about the crime situation here but recently I've realised that, in spite of the fact that I am getting very old and in spite of the not-so-great crime related stories that you hear, it’s important to still get out and engage with life and not always feel that you need to hide away because of fear. Yes, keep your head screwed on but also, enjoy life. It can be so horribly short.

We do live behind bars and there is a good reason for that but it doesn't mean that it doesn't really suck. Do I still go out alone for the odd evening with girl friends? Yes. Do I go out with my husband (and kids) to a restaurant after dark? Yes. (Okay, not as often as I would like since I am basically a hermit, but we do go!).

P.s. I learned that yesterday a motorbike (boda-boda) gang were arrested by police in the area. Let's hope that is good news for our area. L.I.F.E...G.O.E.S...O.N...

Related Post: Young Expat Life in Nairobi

p.p.s No rain yet and the weather is still a balmy 28-30 degrees. I don't think that I have ever seen the Jacaranda looking so lovely in Nairobi. Much to my kids' horror and risking life and limb, I keep stopping the car to take photos of trees. I'll post some of them tomorrow.

5 Reasons Why Nairobi is Hot Right Now...

2015-10-01T13:31:00.005+03:00

Obama touches down in Nairobi and greets half sister Auma. www.theroot.com

1. Well - it is hot, literally (around 26 degrees). September gave us 30 days of fabulous weather (sunshine and cloudless skies) but I heard on the radio news this morning that El Nino is due to hit as early as this weekend. Dread, dread – power cuts, pot holes, flooding - but right now it’s hot – geddit?

2. As I said before ‘Nairobi is on steroids’. The new Southern bypass is basically complete so we almost have a ring right around Nairobi now and people, we are getting street lighting! Street lighting gets a thumbs up from everybody and they are even putting up lights on the road outside our house. I often leave the house before dawn and it is terrifying trying to spot pedestrians in that half light. Evenings are just as bad and with the sun rising and setting here at 6.30 morning and night year round, while the population gets up to start their working day at 5am and finishes after dark, street lighting is good news – not just for road safety but also for security reasons.

3. Big-wig visitors. Okay, we all know that Obama came and visited. Yes! A great gesture hot on the heels of the UK/US Kenya travel ban being lifted. Perfect timing. Now please tourists, all come here in your droves. Zanzibar has a romantic name and I know that you have all been secretly sneaking off there but nothing beats the welcome and service you will get on the Kenya coast. And by the way, did you know that you can do kite surfing, stand-up paddle boarding (SUP) and sky diving here too! So now, The Pope (November 2015) and David Cameron** (early 2016) are on their way – you just can’t resist can you?

4. Nairobi has established itself as a global centre of social entrepreneurship. The industry is booming thanks in part to the purely entrepreneurial nature of the city but also because there is tons of foreign investment coming in to foster sustainable growth. The Kenya population is young (over 60% of the population is under 25*) . If you have an idea for a start-up that will benefit young, lower income members of society, then the potential take up for your business idea is almost endless. People who come from overseas to invest feel that money and time spent is really meaningful here. That they are improving lives. They feel that they are gaining more traction in Nairobi than they would in Silicon Valley.

5. Raising the bar – The bar is being raised visibly in media and communications, service delivery and products that are locally available on the market. The construction of new malls, apartment blocks, office buildings and hotels in the city continues unabated (goodbye colonial era cottages and green gardens). However, I do feel that Nairobi is almost like a country within a country right now. Leave the city and you feel like you have been flung back 10 years. We are waiting to see a lot of this dynamism trickle down. One noteable exception that will ultimately affect a wider cross section of Kenya society, is the construction of the Chinese railway which is going great guns if our drive down to Mombasa last month was anything to go by.

Chinese railway construction project in Tsavo

Having said this - it’s not all good. The traffic continues to be dreadful, unemployment is high (currently 40% approx) and National school teachers are still striking due to low pay. Sadly these are the critical months leading up to the end of the school year with important exams looming.

**Cameron says Travel Warnings hurt fight against extremists (Bloomberg)

* http://www.indexmundi.com/kenya/demographics_profile.html

A day not to remember - private healthcare traps in Nairobi

2015-09-28T14:14:00.002+03:00

Occasionally we all have a day from hell. Of course this is a global phenomenon and not just particular to living in Nairobi – except, of course, bad days in Nairobi inevitably include traffic.

First of all, I wake up on a Friday morning and decide, on the spur of the moment, to take my daughter to the doctor. To be honest, this forms the tail end of a longer story. A few weeks ago I took said daughter (again on the spur of the moment because it was the day before the new school year was due to start), to a hospital satellite clinic which I won’t name right now. Said 12 year old daughter has been on a low-grade downer for a while now – in fact, if I think about it, it has probably lasted for over a year. She has lost weight and complains of tummy ache regularly. We’ve done various doctor’s visits and she’s undergone numerous tests over the past 12 months but so far we had drawn a blank. So I dash to the hospital with her in order to try and find answers - the right ones - and, for once and for all, clear up this mess before school starts. However, visiting a clinic is not a speedy process. We (my daughter, her younger sister and I) end up chained to this hospital for close to 5 hours!

Looking around the waiting room (full), I can see the way this day is going to pan out. In my pushy 'mzungu knows best' way, I ask the nurse who weighs and measures my daughter if there is no way we can get some tests done in advance of our first meeting with the doctor. I tell her that I'm pretty sure it's a urinary tract infection and can we just drop a sample at the 'samples' place now, so that when we see the doc we have results in hand. The nurse demures. She thinks this could work possibly. She gives me some pots for stool and urnine tests. My daughter disappears into a cubicle to nobly 'try her best'. When she emerges she says,

'There was no water - but it's okay, the loo did flush and when water wouldn't come from the tap in the sink I just washed my hands with just soap. My hands feel quite odd now, but quite nice and soft.'

My daughter doesn't see steam coming out of my ears. No water! Bl**dy Hell! And what are we all paying here?

I go to the lab where they do all the testing and drop the samples. The woman on reception (when she eventually returns from goodness knows where - probably went in search of a washroom with water) - says in no uncertain terms that she cannot do testing unless she has a doctors referral. While the woman on reception was absent, we broke into one of the consultation rooms to see if water was coming from that tap. A trickle appeared. My daughter rinsed her hands.

So finally, after an hour, we are called to see the doctor. It's been a long hour of hearing the nurses call out mispronounced names while a full waiting room look askance at her? When she called Mary Ngugi and no one got up - I felt like pushing my daughter forward.

The pediatric doctor seemed very reassuring and in control but he recommends not just stool, urine and blood tests but a full pelvic and bladder ultrasound to boot. The urine and stool samples 'were in the bag' so to speak, but the snag was the fact that ultrasounds were dependent on my daughter not having eaten anything at all for 6 hours. Fortunately she hadn't eaten anything since breakfast that day but there was still a necessary wait of an additional hour and a half to contend with before she was deemed 'ready'.

It’s great to have instantaneous access to private health care here in Nairobi but, let's be honest, it comes at a cost – when you walk into any clinic, people see dollar signs. I’ve lived here for nearly 13 years and even though I could see a pattern emerge clearly, I still found myself allowing my daughter to be submitted for a crazy amount of (very expensive!) tests. But, nor could I say ‘no’ to any of these procedures since my primary aim was to get to the bottom of what was ailing her.

You become a sort of pawn in these hospitals; passed from department-to-department (with that inevitable visit to the cashier’s desk in between each stage - Ker-ching). My poor daughter. I think that the lowest point came she had to watch her younger sister and I devour a KFC lunch at 3pm while she was still 'fasting', waiting for her ultrasound test. She was still nil by mouth at this stage and took this torture stoically - 'Don't worry mum, you go ahead. I'll be able to eat after my ultrasound' she said as her younger sibling waved a chicken leg in her face.

To be honest, one of the problems was that my daughter wasn’t that ill. She was definitely happy to muck around with her sister in the waiting room while a disturbing news broadcast on boda-boda serial killers in Bungoma was playing out on the overhead TV. My ten year old stopped to watch. Sh was fascinated to learn that the motorbike drivers had been axed and dismembered. There were some questions that followed. The TV broadcast was absloutely unavoidable. Meanwhile, I had ample time to wonder why the heck my daughter was undergoing all of these tests (and whether there was enough money in the bank to cover them) - but sadly the train had left the station and I felt that we had no option but to go ahead.

The ultrasound process took hours. My daughter was in the room for ages as her sister and I 'played' outside, doing french plaits, dancing about (there was no one else there) and peering through the air vent in the base of the door).

Again, waiting. Apparently 'reading' the ultrasound results and gluing fuzzy black and white images onto a large piece of card takes a long time.

The end result cost 40,000 shillings (the exchange rate is not great for us at the moment but this is hundreds of pounds/$100/s!). For our money, we emerged armed (and I mean ARMED – I could hardly carry it all) – with medication. We left the clinic with no less than x3 types of antibiotics, anti-sickness pills, ant-acid pills and pain killers for what was diagnosed as no less than 3 ailments: urinary tract infection, dormant amoeba, helicobacter pylori and an irregular bladder ultrasound readout and a further hospital visit to a specialist urologist was recommended. Even the in-hospital pharmacist raised her eyebrows and had to call the doctor to her desk to whisper how on earth a 12 year old was supposed to take all of this medication. After some discourse (eagerly watched by me) they together agreed that perhaps my daughter should start with just 2 of the 3 antibiotics and take the last course later.

We got home and after supper, my 12 year old took her first cocktail of pills. She promptly vomited and since it was the night before a new school term/school year was due to start, I decided not to give her anything else until I had consulted not one, but two, pharmacists for a second opinion. The next day I took the sack load of pills around my neighbourhood seeking advice. The pharmacists understandably wanted to see test results from the hospital (which I didn't have at that time as I had been asked to go back and pick them up the following day - since they were taking so long to process - again impatient mzungu). The pharmacists I spoke cautiously recommended my daughter take just one course of antibiotics at a time, so we started with the urinary tract infection one.

Having just finished the first course of strong antibiotics for the urinary tract infection, my daughter woke up in the morning still complaining of abdominal pain. She said, 'I don't want you to be cross Mum, but my tummy still hurts.'

I couldn’t believe it. I was distracted and disappointed- so here we are the beginning again. Hence, the decision to make a the spur of the moment visit to the doctor. This time opting to visit a more cosy practice of GPs who are not linked to any particular hospital (we didn't go to them the first time around because they are only open for a select few morning hours - which drives me nuts). Inevitably the appointment was during school time. What the heck, I thought. There's no point in just going to see this doc with just pills, I need my daughter to see her. So I headed into town to collect my daughter from school and figured that I had just enough time to make it back to the doctor before the allocated appointment – traffic permitting. Of course, the traffic was awful. I was stressed (quite tired and distracted too to be honest). My daughter was surprised at my very unexpected turning up at school but she was okay about accompanying me. We were in a rush to get back to the doctor’s. I turned to ask which lessons my daughter was missing and wham – I drove into the car in front of me.

I don’t just nudge the car in front but I WHAM-ED into it. And we had been literally sitting in stationary traffic. How did I manage that? I think that I had assumed the car in front was moving on (perhaps I had subconsciously seen a vehicle move forward up ahead) and bang – I shunted forward while the car in front stayed stock still on an ironic speed bump that was sticking two fingers up at me.

This 'wham' of mine was significant. I managed to buckle in not just the back door of the car in front, but also their lower bumper, upper bumper, tail lights. That’s at least 5 components of a car’s back end. Expensive. Oddly enough, my car sustained minimal damage. My daughter blamed herself. She said it was her fault because I had just looked at her before lifting my foot off the brake (my car’s an automatic). Bless her. All I could think about was the doctor's appointment.

Perhaps it was the Jacaranda in full bloom that distracted me!

Long story short, I had a conversation with a very patient and accepting driver of the damaged car in front and agreed to meet him in an hour, after he had had ample time to consult with a mechanic about damages... He was a fairly cool guy and he had a friend with him. We amicably agreed not to involve the police and my daughter and I actually made it to the doctor’s appointment!

The doctor said that the hospital visit we made previously was nuts (she used the word 'unethical' at one point) and the antibiotics my daughter had taken so far were a waste of time since the urine test reading, as far as she could see, was entirely normal. The upside was that the doctor, by process of elimination, said that my daughter had to treat the helicobacter pylori stomach bacteria since this was likely to be the root cause of the problem. I was dreading this treatment as you get a ‘kit’ of 3 horse pill sized antibiotics to take twice a day for a week – and the pills make you feel exhausted and nauseous. I know this because my husband once took the same pills and he complained enough back then. However, dealing with this problem made sense and promised to cure her frequent feeling of heart burn, stomach cramps and acid among other things. So anything was worth a try.

The day was taking a more positive turn until, while I was in the doctor’s waiting room, I received an email telling me that the 6 hours I had spent editing a 100 page document (leading to some quite nasty neck ache) was nul and void since I had edited the wrong draft. What’s more, the killer was that we were still on a deadline, ‘how soon can you send the new draft over? End of today?’

Okay, so that was my bad day. The cost of the car repair was horribly eye watering (suffice to say that we won’t be going on any weekend mini-breaks any time soon – especially when taking into account this and the cost of the doctor’s visits). i think that we may have paid over the odds for the inconvenience factor but the poor driver of the other car was a bit floored by the whole experience too and who can blame him.

'To be honest' he said, 'I am so distracted right now because of this. I am supposed to be in Nyeri tomorrow morning and I just left my mobile phone in a taxi... I'm all over the place' - so that's how I impacted his day. I basically ruined it. I was all over the place and now he was.

But on the bright side (since it’s important to always find one), a week on and my daughter has finished her horrible ‘kit’ of antibiotics that did indeed make her feel sick and tired for an entire week, but now I am happy to report that she is feeling better! Her resistance is a bit low though. This morning she woke up with a sore throat. Now it’s time to get her better, feed her up, rest and get that weight back on.

We watched a Youtube clip about Helicobactor Pylori and figured that it's better that she gets rid of it. Especially as it is the most common cause of stomach ulcers and, if untreated long term, can possibly be cancer inducing.

By some miracle, I managed to get the correct edited document submitted by the end of that day (it was well after dark when I finished) - but goodness knows what state it was in when the client received it.

Don't miss: Jackson Biko writing about his own private health care experience here:
The Walking Dead
As he points out, thanks to Google - everyone is a doctor now!

In case you missed it....Billy the Swashbuckling Conservation Expert

2015-09-23T14:00:00.001+03:00

It's out....

He's larger than life.

The Newest Africa Expat Stereotype..

Raised by Lions – or so he would have you think...

A gravelly voice emitted in strident tones across the hardware shop heralds the arrival of Billy, widely known conservation maverick and swashbuckling expert on all things wild. He stands, feet astride and hands on hips in his uniform of too short shorts (worn in all weathers) paired with beige suede safari boots, khaki socks and a short sleeved shirt. He is holding forth on the state of poaching to an unsuspecting older timer who only dropped in for a replacement tap.

‘Bloody Chinese. Poaching’s now worse than it was in the 80s.’ Billy says, not noticing that Mr Chan from the Chinese restaurant is standing at the far end of a long counter waiting to be served....

Beach Life

2015-09-23T13:56:00.001+03:00

Nothing beats a trip down to Kenya's coast with the family - especially when it's low season.

And I can never resist a bit of shopping

Crazy full moon high tides washed trees down onto the sand

and a lot of tiny pieces of plastic onto the beach

My daughter is an instagramer - obvs

My Perfect Nairobi Weekend 2015

2015-09-12T19:10:00.000+03:00

Weekends in Nairobi are different for everyone but as a huge fan of the Telegraph’s ‘Perfect Weekend’ where famous people are interviewed – and though I am very far from famous, I thought that this might give readers one picture of what expat life in Nairobi can be like.

The weekend kicks off on Friday evening when I get the kids back from school at around 5pm (having done battle through the dreaded Nairobi Friday traffic). The journey from school can take at least an hour of sitting in bumper to bumper jams and there’s a lot of breath holding as motorbikes, hand carts and pedestrians pick past you. Since everyone is almost stationary, there are also a lot of street kids and men begging. If the roads were clear, then the same journey would take us 20 minutes. There are rat runs and ways around that can be quicker but it’s always a gamble as you have an equal chance of getting blocked in trying alternative routes.

My husband tries to get home before 6pm so that we can take our dogs for a walk on the local golf course. A 45 minute walk around these beautiful grounds is a great way to wind down. We normally try to persuade the kids to accompany us, but generally they are exhausted by Friday evening and just want to flop in front of the TV. After our walk, watching the sun go down and as the evening quickly falls into darkness, we might treat ourselves to a big glass of wine and some warm cashew nuts at the clubhouse before heading home to make supper.

Weekends for us are largely about sleep. We get up at around 5.30am on week days in order to get our kids to school on time. Their school day starts at 7.30am and there’s a school bus that leaves our neighbourhood prompt at 6.30am. Ideally we all sleep in on Saturday morning until at least 8am. I don’t like to sleep past then, because there is a frenetic African zumba class called Songa that I love to go to at 9am on Saturday. Since I’m over 40, there are not so many opportunities to get my dancing shoes on and the instructor is fantastic, leaping around in the front like he’s just stepped out of a music video, so he gets the whole class jumping. After that, I’ll head to the nearby organic vegetable market that is based from a garden restaurant once a week. The saturday market has evolved into a more of a farmer’s market with not just veg but cheeses, breads, sauces, jewellery, crafts and the most delicious syrup waffles and baklava. My husband and kids then sometimes come along to meet me there with the dog so that we can enjoy a coffee in the gardens. We always feel like staying for lunch by my bags are heavy with fresh salad, eggs, cheeses, ice cream and baguettes so I generally suggest we go home to eat the spoils of my shopping trip. Occasionally on Saturdays all of these plans go out of the window because there is a school event (generally sports based) to attend. This can be quite big social occasions where parents bring a picnic and cheer heartily from the sidelines.

Since we spend so much time during the week in the car, we have a quiet afternoon at home. The shopping centres tend to be heaving on Saturdays but if we feel like it, we can head to one of these to catch a movie. On Saturday night we might go out to a restaurant. There is an incredible choice of fantastic restaurants in every neighbourhood in Nairobi. The brilliant, free ‘Yummy’ magazine lists and reviews all the best restaurants in town. There is a Nairobi Restaurant week and also ‘Taste’ awards to rank the best chefs in town, many of them international. Somebody I met recently said that Nairobi was ‘on steroids’ in terms of growth at the moment and she was not wrong. Sometimes I wish we lived a bit more centrally so that we could try more of these Nairobi hotspots out but we are generally deterred by the traffic and you can’t beat the space we enjoy from living a bit further out. When we moved to Nairobi in 2003 we would think nothing of heading right across town for dinner, but these days it’s impossible.

On Sunday morning, my husband likes to head out on an off road motorbike trip with a few friends. There is a crew that invariably venture out on bikes every weekend and they now have a Whatsapp group in order to organise themselves. Mountain biking is also a big thing here and their trips are arranged on a similarly ad hoc basis. My husband loves the fact that within minutes you can be in the centre of some incredible landscapes which are literally right on our doorstep. There are often famous Kenyan runners on top of the Ngong Hills training early on Sunday morning. He jokes that they are ‘pairs of lungs on skinny legs’ as they power over the steep peaks.

While he’s out, the kids will be doing music practise or homework, which is generally pretty boring but necessary. I will make a Sunday lunch. In the afternoon we might load the bikes onto the car and take them to a quiet gated neighbourhood for a bike ride, alternatively we might take our dogs for a walk in the ‘primate centre’ forest sanctuary. Occasionally we’ll be invited to Sunday lunch with friends and if I am seriously organised, then I will invite friends here. Long lunches in the garden are one of the best aspects of expat life and they generally run well into the evening. An alternative Sunday plan might be to throw together a picnic and meet friends for lunch or brunch in Nairobi National Park. It's incredible that you can go and look at giraffe, rhino and even lion within 20 minutes of home. When you are in the park, you feel a million miles away from city life.

Then it’s time to pack school bags and try to get an early night, as the alarm clock will be going off early in the morning for another busy week.