African singles & married

Fear

2016-10-29T08:37:00.001-07:00

Hello guys, I have recently discovered that fear does a lot of damages in our lives. Last year I went through a phase where it took the grace of God to get me out and then i realised that fear was controlling and ruining my life. In marriages, we fear what people would say and do that we end up missing the point. Is anyone going to be in the marriage with you? We are only accountable to God so why do we let people play god in our lives?

Whilst being afraid of what others think about our marriage, we end up hurting the ones we claim to love and start building walls that cannot be broken easily. I have written about forgiveness inthe past and that is the greatest weapon in a marriage. One person earns more than the other, so what? You are partners so why not put your hands together and plan? How many people come and ask who is the higher earner?

If you have such friends you need to rethink that friendship. Your partner should be your best friend, gossip partner everything. If your partner offends you, take it to God in prayers. As humans we tend to make a big deal about little things. Before sleeping angry ask yourself if you didn't wake up next to your partner how would you feel. Life is too short so we need to leatn to really show love always and live at peace with all especially our better half. One day at a time. God bless

To Each His Own

2016-10-26T17:15:00.001-07:00

Something has been on my mind lately and it has made me more grateful to God. I really cannot say my marriage successes has been my doing. This blovs have always been about the role God plays in marriages. With so many failed marriages and broken relationships, I have to say it can only be God. No woman goes into a marriage with the intention of getting a divorce. Regardless of what people think or how a woman behaves, nothing prepares anyone for the pains and emotional traumas that come with it.

I use to wonder why women stay in bad marriages but i gues the question of "what is the other option" plays in. People need to know that you need God before the marriage not when things have gone wrong. I believe that God can change people but I also believe a stich in time saves nine. Meeting a man in church doesn't mean he would be God fearing or a woman. You need to identify your reason for wanting a person, understand their short comings and build a partnership. Talk about everything, share everything and plan together.

I think Christians need to challenge the devil and do things right. There are no grey areas for a true Christian. Its either black or white regardless of whether you are caught or not. Trust and respect are very important in every relationship. If you respect your partner you would not cheat or lie to them. Always remember that they are your partners and better half. One and one equals one.

First Years, Worst Years

2016-10-22T12:28:00.001-07:00

So I have been with my husband for nine years and marries for five anx i have been doing a lot of thinking. The early years was full of arguments and fights. A lot of conflict and misunderstanding. There were times i thought "how do people grow old in this" it has taken us years of prayers and commitment to get to where we are. People say they marry for love but i can tell you that true love doesn't come until after you have passed through certain trials and see different sides of your partner to say you truly love them. I still say strongly that marriage cannot work without God.

It has taken the Holy Spirit to help me understand that we are on the same side. The enemy is the devil. Once i passed through a phase that God helped me overcome fear that I realised that the devil uses fear to steal our joy. Fear of how your partner would react, what they would say and others. For me the Holy Spirit renewed my mind and I began to think well he wouldn't kill me so what the hell. With this trust started to grow and our reactions to situations started to change. I have seen a man show me love when i was pregnant, supported me through my studies, be a father, husband and head of my home. Now i can boldly say I'm madly in love with my husband. When we are apart thoughts of him makes me smile.

As my kids ard growing, I am happy that they have a man like him in their lives and we have all grown together in this wonderful school of life. I watch my son look after his sisters and females around him. It could only be God. Pray for the guidance of God in your life.

Mr Romantic

2016-06-08T22:19:00.000-07:00

Hi guys so today's talk is just me thinking. Over the years inter racial relationships has surged. Not that I have any problem with it. It's just that so many things in life are changing but our African men are not. I was just thinking of how some African men are so romantic and loving but some just don't have a clue. Birthdays, anniversaries, dinners and just occasional compliments. A typical African man is so full of ego that they end up loosing all they care about. Whilst we pray for a good partner we need to also pray to be good partners. Both women and men like a bit of romance and affection.

For me this is where God comes in. In order to feel 100% love you need God. Back to my TV programmes; I see two sisters dating the same guy or one guy dates a circle of friends. Believe me it's not just on the TV alone. It's happening in our society. I mean where do we draw the line? How have we thrown all morality out the window? I get so confused and wonder what it will be like for our kids. True love only comes from God. He will make you love that one person, the one to always make you smile. Make you happy and make you stronger. I read of gay couples growing everyday and I think to myself how do you blame them? The world is full of liars and deceitful people. They are everywhere, especially in churches. You go and think "I should find a nice God fearing person here" but you end up with a monster. Like there is only so much pain anyone can take. Although at this point I would also argue that if you are right with God he will always guide you to the right path. So I believe that we need to pray for our marriages and relationships as we would for healing, breakthrough or deliverance. At the end of the day, he knows our beginning and end, he knew us before we were formed.

I will finish this with a prayer. Father in heaven, as we thrive to know and love each day, please perfect all that concerns us. Let your Holy Spirit guide and lead us in the right path as you make us into your own. Teach us not to lean on our own understanding but in all things turn to you first in the name of Jesus I pray. Amen

What is love

2016-06-01T23:15:00.004-07:00

Hi all, before I go into today's topic, during a conversation a friend said that relationships were like dealing with kids; sometimes you need to give incentives. So that's a talk for another day I just need to research the bible. So back to the point. I watch a lot of movies and all and you see people fall in and out of love like they are changing shoes. As Africans, we also use the word love loosely. Imagine how many guys/girls you tell you love before you get married. The bible tells us that God is love. In fact it amazes me that marriage is the one part of our lives that we keep God out of. We say I love you to get what you want:money, gifts, sex, favours, positions and other things. To find perfect love, we need to seek God first and he will fix every other part of our lives.

How can you love someone today and move on so easily? Living in the western world I have come to learn that when two people start a relationship, they agree they are interested in each other and see as it goes. They can be in that relationship without using the word love. They build their friendship and then decide if they love each other. Thinking back to my past relationships, I used the word love so much without understanding. Now I'm married I look back and laugh. As my relationship with God grows, he teaches me to love my husband unconditionally, to understand his flaws and to forgive everything. I mean I couldn't have made it this far without God. My husband prays with me, listens to me and supports me. Love is not just a word. 1st Corinthians 13 tells us all about love. Love is a feeling, it comes when you are apart from someone and just thinking about them makes you smile.

I don't get why people can't love; love unconditionally with any strings attached. Love is not a business transaction. You don't always get something back. Love is pure, patient, kind. You can only truly love one person so pls ask God to bring them to you. Till we meet again Odabo

Benefits of Marriage

2016-05-20T21:57:00.001-07:00

God loves marriages, a phrase that we all hear often but i have never known so. So I began to reflect and study the bible. God made the woman to be the mans helper. After giving him dominion over all he created, he gave him someone to unwind with. Some may be thinking "well Eve led him to sin" hey water under the bridge lol. Anyway God saw Adam and Sarah live happily. Adam loving Sarah and Sarah loving, respecting and honouring him. With feminism today some women think. That having these triats is a sign of weakness. I believe respect is a two way string. If your partner respects you please return it. The Bible didn't tell us of Abraham treating Sarah badly.

Secondly, I was thinking, man and woman get married. Live a godly life, support each other, build a family and all help each other. If all Christian families lived like this, i think God would feel acomplished. Sincr ghe fall of man, God has been trying to find a way to lead all humans to salvation but we are always faced with challenges. If we can all put an effort into living godly lives.

Gender roles have changed recently and i was reading 1st Peter 3: 1-8 using amplified bible and the first verse talks of women being submissive to their husband as dependants. I couldnt help but think wow how do you argue this today where women are equals and some are bread winners? I don't know what to say here but moving on. Verse 7 goes on to tell the men to live considerately with their wives acknowledging them as the weaker vessel. So weaker vessels eh, no offence to ladies but how is it that once married women are expected to do all the chores and errands? Back to reflecting.

I have tried to keep my personal life away from this blog but my husband has been a support. We do chores together and we enjoy it because we talk and have a laugh whilst cleaning, cooking or doing the laundry. Just to show in this day and age. My final conclusion is that God loves marriage because he want to see teo people from different backgrounds come together and face worlds challenges together. Holding each other when one is down or weak and achieving their bests together not to talk of raising beautiful kids that we can teach about God. Till we meet again go and do right. Remain blessed.

Mr/ Mrs Right

2016-05-18T10:52:00.001-07:00

Hello again, I hope you all are enjoying these blogs? So todayd topic got me thinking, growing up we are told the characteristics of a good partner. The woman had to cook, clean, make and train babies and a lot more. The man has to provide for his family and..... Thats all i csn think of right now. Anyway, where do all these come from? I understand the bible says the man has to work hard before he eats: the bible also tells us about women who worked hard and were strong.

For me the solution to finding the right person is being the right person. If we abide by the bible and live godly lives, I think we are bound to end up with the right person. Looking back to the bible, people didn't force about these things. They didn't worry about anything. I think if we use all the technologies and changes in a positive way the world would be a better place eventually.

Little drops of water makes a mighty ocean. Please let us all try to be a drop of water. Adios my people and God bless.

Right Choice

2016-05-17T05:02:00.001-07:00

Hello friends, today we are going to talk about finding the right partner. When we are ready to settle down, do we look up to God or lean on our own understanding? According to the Bible in Genesis chapter 24 from verse13 downwards when Abraham wanted a wife for Isaac he sent his servant to go and get a wife and all he asked him to do was to ask God for a sign. The servant had faith in God. What kind of faith and trust do we have in God? Do we trust him to always do right by us or do we think that certain decisions are best made by ourselves? I believe that since marriage was ordained by God it is only fair for him to be the person to go to for the right partner.

In the world today people struggle to find the right person full stop some people go through a lot of heartbreak and pain just found the right person. In the olden days, this was not a problem and I think it should be better in this times because we have the Holy Spirit to guide us. The big question therefore is why do people still struggle to find the right person? why are we not trusting in God? when the Bible clearly tell us not to trust on our own understanding.

It may seem old fashioned but if it worked then, why not give it a try? it may work for you. God is near and waiting for us just to ask. why not trust in him today and ask him for the right partner flesh of your flesh bone of your bone and body for your ribs or ribs for your body he loves us and wants us to enjoy A Life full of joy, peace and laughter.

Sex before Marriage

2016-05-14T20:29:00.001-07:00

Hello readers, the topic today has almost become as extinct as the dinosaur. With all the other changes that we have come to accept, we have just shoved it under the carpet. More and more parents are failing to instil this quality in their children. In the past when it was taught, it was mainly girls that were told "keep your virginity for the man you marry. 1st thessalonians 4:3 & Acts 15:20, tell us to abstain from fornication.

When people say nothing is new under the sun. It is not applicable to Christians. This is because once born again, we are new in Christ. Therefore we need to strive to be holy. I use the word "strive" because it is not an easy way. Phillipians 4:13 tells us that we can do all things through Christ.

Really apart from the biblical consequences, lets be real here. If a lady said to a guy, oh I am keeping myself for my wedding night. That guy would make that wedding happen fast but where he gets it, he would court the lady for years and sometimes end up not marrying her. There are also health implications and a lot more. Not forgetting that there are guys out there who nay deceive ladies still under abstainance.

The key is to always put God first in all you do. A question that bothers me is why do we not tell our male children about this abstainance? Are their bodies not also a temple of God? If you think it is okay for a man to fornicate then whose daughters are they to defile? Abstainance is applicable to both parties and should be encouraged because the devil is winning a lot of battles today.

As I always say you can only get it right with God and to end it I will recommend 1st Corinthians 6:13- end. God bought your body with his sons blood. Please respect it. Adios

Forgiveness

2016-05-11T15:49:00.002-07:00

Forgiveness, let's start by ask why forgiveness is important in a marriage. The bible lays a few emphasis on forgiveness generally so I will take the common one from the Lord's Prayer that we recite daily. Matthew 6:12. We say this prayer everyday but most of us refuse to apply it. Who is it that is without sin? Mark 11:6 also tells us that if we do not forgive, our father also will not forgive. So whilst holding a grudge; you are withholding your blessings also. Howbeit this applies to life generally, it is important in a marriage because God already promised in Proverbs 18:22 that he that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from him. So where you should be reaping your blessings you start to set yourself back. Let us remember that Gen 2:24 already told us that once married two has become one. One in God and Christ . Would you hold a grudge against yourself?

Couples need to start understanding that once married you become one. You look out for each other, support each other, pray together and carry each other. Where Ephesians 5:22 tells women to submit to their husbands,verse 24 tells men to look after their wives and look after them without blemish or spot. I can only imagine what God would like marriage to look like. People make people make forgiveness look difficult however forgiveness gives you freedom and peace. When you forgive, God is happy with you and blesses you.

If you love someone, it should not be hard to let go. It goes beyond verbal confessions, it has to come from the heart. So even where the other party has not repented, it is for you to continue to forgive in obedience to God. Bearing in mind that forgiveness is about personal freedom; therefore sometimes you may have to leave that situation for your own peace.

In a nutshell, I believe if you love someone you would not do something that the other would not be able to forgive. Love your partner as you love yourself. Odejuma

For Better for Stay; For Worse for Go

2016-05-08T09:16:00.003-07:00

In Africa nothing prepares us for marriage but that's not true. The vows we make on our wedding does. From when your partner is sick, to the unfortunate event of a life long illness or disease; you did say "in sickness and in health". Not to mention " for richer or poorer" and when things get financially tough we say" I wasn't cut out for this". Financial difficulties can either make a marriage or break it. Let's start with the positive side. A couple start from scratch together, support each other and watch each other grow. They learn to love one another unconditionally and value themselves. My marriage was one like this; my hubby supported me through college whilst having kids at the same time. At a point I was jealous he was spending more time with the kids. I valued this because I had been in past relationships that didn't allow me think of my future. That said

We move to the negative. Sometimes financial difficulties put pressure on couples and bring out the worst in them. Depending on what sides come out; they can either get through it or end it. In past blogs I have said cheating was the deal breaker for me. Wiser and more experience for me, now I will say cheating and any form of abuse is it for me. All forms of abuse are as bad and I tell you" God ordained marriage for good things. Genesis 2:24 tells it all. You cannot love someone and cause them pain. Marriage is supposed to be a partnership, companionship and bond. The both of you against the world. Nothing or nobody should come between you.

Our second vow is "In sickness and in health" The reason I believe prayer is necessary before marriage is because the future is not known to us but God knows our tomorrow. You want to marry someone who will be there through thick and thin. No one prays for illnesses or accidents but they happen.when faced with these challenges, being with someone who loves you can make a big difference. No face value love but real Godly live. Someone who will carry your cross with you. If you don't love your partner truest you won't be able to stay with them in difficult times. Your only guarantee to a successful marriage is to walk with God because when our strength fails us, he will carry us.

Super Woman

2013-11-25T23:54:00.003-08:00

When you hear the word Super Woman can you associate yourself to it? I'm sure the answer will likely be yes. Over the years the role of a woman has evolved so much and I'm sure most of us would associate the woman in the bible with the normal traditional woman. Today I want to tell you that the evolved woman is the same with the bible. The bible shows us Great women that were the back bones of their husbands, that held their homes together that fought on their own. So whether you are a mom, wife, or all of the above; when you think that your responsibilities are overwhelming you, Pray for the strength of the Super Women in the bible. Esther, Sarah, Elizabeth, Mary, Mary Magdalene and lot more because God designed you to be the shoulder of your home. A mother to your children by guiding them, supporting them, believing in them whilst you love them unconditionally at the same time doing these also for your husband standing only for what is true.

I spent some years driving my wagon of life with God as my spare wheels. It was a period of good memories because where people saw my situation as bad, the results of God were positive. My husband and I would sit and ask ourselves how things were working out and the only answer was God. It got to a point where my main prayer was "God if I don't know how you change things for me, no one will ever know (psalm 139). This worked until the devil started showing me things to make me think it was my doing. The Spirit of God kept warning me that I was talking too much and taking God's glory but I wouldn't listen.

Keep your marriage going

2013-11-20T15:56:00.001-08:00

So in the space of two years I have had two children. At this point overwhelmed seems to be an understatement. Between being a mother, student wife (not in any particular order) trust me they are all as demanding. In all this I have struggled to maintain my role as a wife. I watch movies and you see single couples in hot sizzling relationships; two things come to my head at this point. 1. they are actors. 2. They haven't got children. If you have got kids and feel overwhelmed like me, and asking how do I balance this? I can't give you the absolute answer but what I do now is to make sure the kids are in bed by 8.30pm, I try to nap when you can during the day and do things on your own and with your partner. Hook up with friends (don't go wild) a drink, movies, swimming, exercise. Find a balance that suits you. It keeps your mind relaxed and less frustrated.

Plan yourself to achieve what you want. You can't do it all but one day at a time helps. If you are a Christian, don't wait for the opportunity to be alone and have an hour with God. If the opportunity presents itself then fine. If not anytime you are up, pray, when you are cleaning or cooking; praise God. You will find inner peace and God will see you through trials and temptations. Till we meet again. Ore kor.

Beauty

2012-08-21T18:36:00.001-07:00

Hello people,
Longest time. Been tied down. I was just laying on the couch and I thought what is the relevance of beauty in marriage? I had a telephone conversation this evening and I told my cousin I had added weight since he last saw me. He then said "that means you are ugly now? I replied no but maybe not as pretty as before. I reflected on women I know who have remained beautiful over the years and realised most of them have failed marriages. Physical beauty will not make a cheating spouse stay. Staying beautiful should be something you do for yourself. If you do it for yourself then you will find happiness within you and thus build a healthy relationship. I can leave my house without any make up and have a pleasant day. When I make up, people always compliment me more but I like how God sees me and how people see my character not beauty.

This is because whilst man looks at outlooks, God looks at inward looks. I spend most of my time working on how God sees me and it always reflect on how others see me. The scripture tells us that "For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God. But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his. (Romans 8:5-9 KJV)

To be spiritually minded is life and peace. I know I want this peace because with the Chaos of daily struggles, I like to know I can find peace somewhere. When I'm upset, I go to him for peace, when I'm hurt, he's there, when I'm confused, he always makes a way, even when it feels like the whole world is against me; I find solace in him. He is my everything. My friend, my helper, my guide, my guard, my teacher, my everlasting father. Let us all begin to find our inner beauty so that the world can then appreciate our outer beauty because we are completely beautiful. Have a blessed week.

Renew your mind

2012-08-15T21:27:00.000-07:00

Hello people,
Longest time. Apologies for the long silence. Been a hectic week but all glory to God. So I got a comment the other day about marriage and pondered on the bible verse. Romans12:2. Why would God warn us not to conformed to this world? Many marriages fail because people conform to the things of this world. Firstly, we always do things based on what people would think or do. The things off this world tells us that divorce is a solution; knowing fully well that God hates divorce. The first thing I would say us: let's note the things we don't like about our partners. The things you think it's only a matter of time before you hit your limit.what we are going to try doing is to change our mind set. Bad thing is we cannot do it on our own. The good news is that God is there to help us. So instead of thinking " the next time they say or do something like this I'm gone" we are going to start praying to God to change our mind set to dwell and focus on the good in our partners and see that their down sides are not relevant.

The full verse states "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God". God expects us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. I urge us today as Christians to allow our lives emulate our Lord Jesus because by doing this, we will show others the perfect will of God. If we tell ourselves that there is nothing our spouse will do that would make us leave them; then there would be nothing for the devil to dwell on. He is there feeding on our anger and judgements of others. This stops us from seeing things from the eyes of God. Let us each day commit our marriages to God and resist the devil. If we are true to ourselves, the sky would be our first step. Father Lord I pray thee this day to begin to renew the mind of the person reading this blog. I ask that you Holy spirit begins to transform their spirit and teach them to live each day in your presence so that your perfect WILL in their lives will show for others to see In Jesus Name. Amen.

Not I but the Lord

2012-08-09T23:28:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,
Let me start today by thanking everyone who reads these blogs regularly. I hope you are finding a thing or two beneficial. I know I am learning from them. Today is kind of a follow up from the last blog this is because I am trying to look at how God intends for us to live. We will be looking at 1st Cor 7: 10-17. We will begin with verse 10 & 11. "And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife". My first question is; do people know this before they commit to marriage in the first place? I know a few people enter marriages assuming that they can always divorce and re marry. I know of two women who have obeyed this insruction. But believe me if I tell you that they were not aware of this portion but were only doing what they thought was right. This goes to show that you do not have to be a church going, all praying person to do the will of God. Once you strive to do good towards all men and let your conscience guide you; the spirit of God will always dwell with you. So to all the divorcees and separated couples, I urge you to start praying your way back together. If you are thinking " my partner doesn't know God" then I have a bigger surprise for you.

The next two chapters are for you and others in a marriage or relationship with un believers. Here it goes "But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. (1 Corinthians 7:12&13). Why has God said this? The next two verses says that the unbelieving husband or wife is saved by the believing spouse. All this means is that if the other person really loves you, you can pray God to change them. Like I say "if we follow the will of God, we will not fail" this is because God has an answer to every situation. Verse 15 goes on to give us the exception in this matter. "But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. So you see even God knows that there is a limit to what a person can take. Let us note that it says if the unbeliever departs; not you the believer. It is expected of you to cast all your marital burden on the Lord and he will grant you the desires of your heart. Yet not I but the Lord. Remain blessed and the God of all understanding will grant you peace IJN.

Divorce

2012-08-08T19:27:00.000-07:00

Hello all,

Hope the week is blessed so far? That we are alive and well is reason enough to be grateful. Growing up, most of us are told the bible is a guideline from God. I don't know if we have given this saying much thought but I tell you today tha it is literally true. Since starting this blog, I pay a bit more attention to every verse of the bible I read. When we last looked at marriage; we used the old testament. In the new testament however, Jesus explains divorce from the old testament. Being the son of God, he tells us why Moses permitted divorce. "They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. (Matthew 19:7-9 KJV)". Jesus tells us that divorce is as a result of our hardened hearts.

I think this means that if we trust in God, we should be able to settle our differences amicably. No matter what we think is the extreme case for each of us, it is nothing before God. I had my own limitations as well and could argue my reason any day. Reading this portion now, I pray for God to always direct my steps and actions and give me wisdom in making decisions. Verse 9 of this portion tells us that any man who puts away his wife ( except it be fornication) and marries another commits adultery. How many marriages are formed on this basis? I for one can count about twenty. This is an alarm bell for all of us because the unlit ate race is heaven andGod wants us to run towards heaven in every aspect of our lives. Be is professional, in our relationships, as parents, sibblings and members of societies. One good deed a day everyone. Stay and remain blessed.

Listening

2012-08-07T18:36:00.001-07:00

Hi guys, hope you are enjoying these blogs. Well I am still waiting for the comments . Today topic was inspired by a quote from a friend and it got me thinking. Hmm eso the quote states " how often do are you in a conversation but you are not really listening because you've already made up your mind? Or you shut down, or you can't bear being wrong? Whatever the reason. Get over it. Learn to listen. If for no other reason than to ensure that your own voice gets heard because no man is an island".
This quote applies to all aspects of ones live but I will apply it to marriage as usual. The first thing that came to my mind was wow how true is this? For one when I ask for my husbands opinion on something, he believes I'm just being courteous and I will go on and do what I like regardless of what he says. Me on the other hand, I am doing this unconsciously. Men are said to be bad listeners and if you ask a man why, most of them would say we women talk a lot and worry about unnecessary things. However, we women do want your opinions; that's why we are asking and what we come to discuss with you might seem unnecessary to you but it is important to us.
Other times, you might be upset with your spouse and when they apologise, a voice in your head says "they are going to do it again" what this small voice does is prevent you from moving on. I have learnt along the way that listening is a skill needed in a successful marriage. The bible tells us that before we ask from God, he knows what we want. However, he still requires us to make our requests to him. If God listens to us when we call on him; why can't we listen to one another. Wives to husbands, husbands to wives, parent to children friend to friend and brothers to sister.lets try and practice good and stand for truth in order to make this world a better place one blog at a time. Night all.

Faithfulness to God or Man

2012-08-06T08:09:00.000-07:00

Hi there,
Hope our weekend is going well? It's raining here so I don't know what the day holds. Whilst writing the last blog, I stumbled on some interesting information. Ruth 1:16 says "And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God". Ruth began her faithfulness towards Naomi even when there was no gain for her. Remember Naomi lost her sons young and had two daughters in law. Prior to this verse, Naomi asked her two daughters in law to go back to their families because she was old and couldn't bear children anymore. With this knowledge Naomi made this statement. From there she served Naomi faithfully like a daughter. The reward was great. So sometimes we will be faced with things that might not gain from or might not have light at the end of the tunnel; we have to be faithful. A small sacrifice is always worth it.

If we go on to look at David; he was a very sinful man but was ever faithful to God and for this God really blessed him. He was not proud or arrogant with his wealth. He was humble and God did not hesitate in blessing him. Whatever we do, let us remain faithful to the truth and people that stand for it in order to get the ultimate blessing from God. Here we call it a day. See you all soon. Pls keep the comments coming.

Personality Clash

2012-08-03T20:41:00.001-07:00

Hi everyone, good to be with you today. I was trying to decide what the topic should be. Anyway I decided on this because it is something I am interested in understanding. This is a big issue with marriages because two people are coming together from different background. The first thing I realised is that there is no wrong way just differst ways. We both like things to be done my way. Who will bend? Or we are I both hot headed; who will bow? I think the easy answer would be the woman. Not because we are weaker but on the contrary because we are stronger and God has given us the wisdom to deal with our husbands. Take a look at Esther in the Bible; she was able to talk the king out of killing Mordecai. Esther knew how to get the favour of this mighty King and then caused him to do her bid. Even though she had her plan from the onset and knew what outcome she wanted. By this she overcame Hamans plans for the Jews. Esther chapters 4- 6

Even Deborah was known for her great wisdom and helped Barak overcome Canaan with the help of another Great woman "Jeal". I guess if we try and bend for peace to rain, we will always get what we want at the end. Men usually know the worth of a woman who sacrifices her beliefs for him and as time goes by, he would come to rely on her before he makes serious decisions. Win Win at the end. Let all the women out there pray to God for wisdom to run their homes and be good help for their husbands. As we lean more towards God, he will grant us the desires of our hearts in Jesus Name. Amen. Good night all.

Helpful

2012-07-31T23:30:00.000-07:00

Hello pips,
So this is today's blog is going to be about being helpful. I figured I should get it out of the way before I forget. Before I begin, I was reading Genesis yesterday then realised that the word cleave was used instead of cling. I thought well they mean similar things but curiously I looked up cleave and found an interesting meaning. "to be faithful to" . This is additional information to us. When I started thinking about helping a question came to mind. Who do responsibilities end and helping start? What I might call helping might be rsponsibility to someone else and vice versa. So on this topic there is no right or wrong; it's just one perspective on the topic. In marriage who decides what is helping or what individual responsibilities are? I know that in most families today, they share their financial obligations. Do people do the same with everything in the home? Is cooking naturally a woman's responsibility as well as cleaning and looking after the kids, ironing,washing, school run etc... I'm sure a lot of people would say yes to most of these questions. Let's look at this from the biblical angle for one moment. Gen 2:18 says And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. So this means that a woman is designed to be a mans helper. Hmm interesting.

So knowing this, how is that a woman is then expected to do everything and the man offers help when it suits him? When you are dating you call yourselves partners. The man helps in the kitchen and tidies his house. The moment he says "I do" the scenario changes. How did this come about? Hmm. We know that love is helping, the question then is how and when do we help? The house belongs to two people. So do the kids; therefore why don't we work together? Why doesn't the first person to wake up get the kids ready? Not to say the other person takes advantage of this or you two work out what works for you: Make dinner arrangements, surprise yourselves, be spontaneous. Have a laugh whilst doing things. Make it fun. In a nut shell, I believe the home should be equal responsibilities because we are one. Food for thoughts. Adios..

Grand Finale on Love

2012-07-31T02:09:00.000-07:00

So to conclude this topic is a short summary. Verse 7 says "Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things". What better way to summarise Love than this.beareth all things; not certain things just incase you are confused as to where to draw the line. Believeth all things; 100% trust in all they do. Hopeth all things. Hope in love and your ability to build a strong home for your family. This is what God says love is. If we follow them dillegently we are bound to live happily till death do us part. With this new insight, Love is not just a four letter word to me. But something I'd like to explore and learn about each day. I hope a few of us can say the same. That's all for now. This is just an extra bit. Full blog on tomorrow. Remain blessed.

Love Part 2

2012-07-30T17:38:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,

Hope we all had a good weekend. Well mine was fine went for Olympics fun day out with my fam. All glory to God. So we are continuing with 1st Corinthians 13. We stopped at verse 4 yesterday. So verse 5 begins by saying Love does not behave unseemly. Unseemly is defined as inappropriate for time and place. I cannot believe this is in the bible. I have read this chapter too many times and have not really given it much thought. I know this one because I have experienced it myself: so I was out with my h and I do it sometimes. We raise our voices at our partners in public. But reading this now is giving me a different insight because now we know it is wrong. Making someone feel embarrassed or feel bad in public by things we say or do isn't love. The next bit quotes "seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked and thinketh no evil". So love is not selfish, meaning your partner should be your reasons. Reason yo u wake uo in the morning, reason you eat, reason you go to work and reason you go to bed. I like the sound of that. Love is not easily provoked; my suggestion for this one is to smile always, think how you would feel if it was you in that situation. Lastly, thinketh no evil. We each have to understand what evil is and what our minds create as evil. It's amazing what we think in our heads all in the name of no own would know. I tell you now; God knows and your thoughts are what he takes to be what you want . Please do not ruin another's life by thinking evil.

Moving on to verse 6 says love rejoice not in iniquity but rejoiceth in truth. I don't know much about this but I will try my best. In the world we live in today, sinful things are now becoming normal practice. I.e: infidelity is seen as something normal and to be accepted. I guess it is more about accepting our mistakes and not making excuses when we know right out that wrong. Also standing for the truth because only then would we experience true love. I know most of us may find ourselves in situations where pressure makes us do things that are wrong. I tell you today in your quiet time pls ask God for forgiveness and directions and apologise to your spouse whom you have wronged because they are not just ur better half; you both have become one (Gen2:24) . Next is sleekest not her own.first thing that comes to mind is supporting your spouse to pursue their dreams. So question is how many of us know what our spouse's dreams are? If we support each other to find what makes us happy, we would always be happy with each other and appreciate one another. The only way to do this is to talk to each other. Find time when you both can seat alone and just have a friendly chat. I would say this should be done early in the relationship but eh better late than never. I have also found that talking puts two people on the same page instead of living on assumptions. Financially, physically, spiritually, mentally and with achievements. That's all folks. Till we meet again. Remain Blessed.

Love

2012-07-29T00:05:00.001-07:00

Hello my people, hope everyone had a good week? That you are reading this means u are still hanging there. No matter what the devil throws at you just remember that the bible tells us in Galatians 6:9 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. So hang in there. Today we are going to talk about LOVE. A word I cannot tell you I understand fully so I will go by the bible and try and see how we can apply what it says to our reality. So nothing defines love more than 1st Corinthians 13. Here we go; verse 1-3 tells us that if we have all the skills and talent and sacrifice ourselves without love, we profit nothing. So in marriage this means that your qualifications and achievements do not count in the home. Hmm, very interesting because I have heard phrases like he/she is up to my standard intellectually. This excuse is sometimes used to justify infidelity. Verse 3 talks about giving ones self for sacrifice; all I can think of here is if we become philanthropists to the world and treat ouw spouses like trash, there is no reward there. This is quite common and now I think about it "funny". As the old adage goes " charity begins at home". How easy is it for you to be out with your spouse and think "if only they behaves like this at home, or spoke to me with such respect and love? If you are on the giving side of this matter, please have a rethihk.

Verse 4 says "love suffereth long and is kind. Envieth not; vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up. I don't know if there is a reason why it starts with ENDURANCE but personally, I believe endurance plays a very important role in marriage. This is because in marriage, you will need to endure things that maybe would kick you off on a good day. Because marriage is a learning institution, it is very important for us to endure things our partners would do in the name of love. Next is KINDNESS. So the dictionary definitions is someone who is indulgent, considerate and helpful. Very nice words don't you think? This is making sense to me now. To show kindness you have to portray these three characters. So love means to indulge your partner, be considerate towards their faults and mistakes and to be helpful. Helpful to me is a topic we need to explore on it's own. But for now let us sleep on this. To be contd.... Have a blessed week ahead may the God of all peace grant us all peace IJN.

Third Party input

2012-07-25T16:33:00.000-07:00

Hello people, sorry for the delay. Today's blog would be short cos there isn't much to say on this topic but as the Bible says "he that hath an ear let him hear. So third party can come in different forms: friends family,colleagues and strangers. Not all of these people would mean harm but the truth is only God can direct you on the right action to take or the right thing to say. Some may say "if it where me" it isn't them;others "when this sort of thing happened to me" you don't know the facts of their situation. Advice is very easy to give but majority of the time; people do not practice what they preach. The person giving the advice only knows your part of the story and to be truthful, when we narrate a situation; we only say what suits us. Whereas if we were talking to the all knowing God he would know the truth therefore able to minister the Roth path to our hearts. Unless we refuse to listen for selfish purposes.

God ministers to our hearts a lot of times but we fail to listen or hear him. Stand in awe, and sin not: commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah. (Psalm 4:4 KJV). This is how God communicates with us. What you call instinct is actually God talking to you. Only you and God know what is best for you. Seek ye the Lord while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near: (Isaiah 55:6 KJV). The bible gives us simple instructions to follow. The next time you are confused about anything, take it to the Lord in pray because he cares for you. Even if someone offers you advice, ask God for his directions. I have found myself giving advise and when I though about it, it didn't seem like the right one so I called the person the next day to tell them. I thought to myself"would I really do this if it was me" and the answer was NO. That's it for now. So I don't start blabbing. Goodnight to all.