Again With the Comics

Newspaper Comic Strip Spider-Man is the Worst Spider-Man of All.

noreply@blogger.com (Brian Hughes) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 00:35:00 +0000

Of all the different versions of Spider-Man available, surely Newspaper Comic Strip Spider-Man is the worst. I mean, I love Stan Lee, and I'm glad his brother is getting work, I guess, but man this thing is a dog. I'm not the first person to notice this, but the Peter Parker we see in the newspaper is a more annoying prick than regular Spidey by far. For one thing, he spends entire story arcs trying to defraud his employers while tricking ex-cons back into crime:

Newspaper Comic Strip Spider-Man is pretty dull-witted. He's constantly blundering into situations where he compromises his secret identity, usually because he's distracted by his own internal whining and fretting about how awful it would be if anyone ever found out he was Spider-Man!

His Spider-sense doesn't seem to work too good either. Note that it works great when it looks like someone might suspect his precious secret identity:

But not so much when it comes to pipes, bricks, tigers, and, oh, being pistol-whipped! When it comes to blunt head trauma, Hal Jordan has nothing on Newspaper Comic Strip Spider-Man.

But don't worry about Newspaper Comic Strip Spider-Man. He'll get his rest, the lazy bastard. He spends as much time sleeping, or falling asleep, or having entire months-long dream sequences as he does fighting super-villains:

On those occasions he does haul his ass out of bed, you'd think it would be all web-swinging action, right? Not so fast, kid. Newspaper Comic Strip Spider-Man is just as likely to hang around in his striped jammies all day:

You suck, Newspaper Comic Strip Spider-Man.

A Drunken Imp and Blazing Chimps in "Hop-Frog!"

noreply@blogger.com (Brian Hughes) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 04:16:00 +0000

Here's another Halloween reprint; a true classic revenge tale by Edgar Allan Poe, ably adapted by two classic comics creators! Horrifically re-presented for your enjoyment, this particular Poe tale is a favorite of mine. If you like seeing blackguards get their comeuppance, you're gonna love "Hop Frog!":

"Hop-Frog!"
Adapted from the Edgar A. Poe short Story by Archie Goodwin
Art by Reed Crandall
Originally Printed in Creepy #11, Warren Publishing (October 1966)

Beware...The Brain-Bats of Venus!

noreply@blogger.com (Brian Hughes) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 02:45:00 +0000

Greetings, ghouls! In the spirit of Halloweek, and courtesy of the public domain, enjoy a mind-melting thriller from the legendary Basil Wolverton! Beware...The Brain Bats of Venus!

Rob Liefeld’s AWESOME MAXIMUM Bible Tales

noreply@blogger.com (Brian Hughes) — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 12:59:00 +0000

I've just received a notice from the FCC. Apparently, as a comics blogger I am legally obligated to bitch about Rob Liefeld, and I haven't done so at all in the entire history of Again With the Comics. I must rectify this oversight immediately or face a hefty fine.

Rob's work doesn’t appeal to me much, but he has published some books I've enjoyed via his Awesome Comics imprint of the early 1990's. I've noticed that in the rare case he does produce something I enjoy, he inevitably screws it up, business-wise. In his own work, he flits from one thing to another, losing interest easily, and has thus failed to build a substantial body of work. TESTAMENT is just one of the many, many projects he has excitedly babbled about in the past, and then failed to ever actually produce and in this one and only case, I am sorely disappointed.

There's so many points where this project might have stalled out; maybe it was when Rob drew Noah and realized he'd have to draw all those animals. "Well, I could draw a couple'a gorillas, I guess, and TIGERS! Tigers are cool! Then an indistinct, crosshatched silhouette to indicate all the other animals and...is that a quarter!?! SHINY!"

Here we see Will and Jada Pinkett Smith as Samson and Delilah, another bit of fantasy casting from Liefeld. He must have met the Hollywood power couple at some L.A. shindig awhile back or something, because for over a decade, he’s been chattering about various movie, comic, and media projects he’s been “working on” with Will Smith, none of which ever, er, happened. AND YES, Liefeld has produced one issue of Jada Pinkett Smith’s Menace, which I have, (and it was terrible) so he has some “professional” acquaintance with the Smiths. That doesn’t change the fact that I’ve heard Liefeld namedrop Will Smith, like, 100 times, and I’ve heard Will Smith namedrop Liefeld zero times.

I mean, Robert Crumb recently did an adaptation of the book of Genesis, and it looks great, and I plan to check it out and all, but flipping through it, my first thought was: “Not enough spaceships and giant robots!”. I'm with Rob here: why can’t the Bible be just as wicked kewl as “Star Wars” indeed? Boring ol’ Bible.

When I realized that mister hummingbird’s-attention-span Liefeld had been working on “Testament” the mind reeled with thoughts of the unfulfilled car-crash awesomeness that was lost when he chose to do “Heroes Reborn”, “X-Force”, half-a-dozen Youngblood revivals, and whatever the Hell else he’s been working on these last few years instead. It turns out he's been working on an entirely different Bible-y deal instead. THIS he finishes!? Bleh, looks unbelievably boring. Ya shoulda gone with Cyborg Moses, Rob!

Experiment FIS#10: DC's Original Outsiders Return!

noreply@blogger.com (Brian Hughes) — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 00:32:00 +0000

I picked up Superman #692 based on a rumored appearance by the wacky Joe Simon/Jerry Grandenetti Outsiders, covered here before. Sure enough, there they were in Sam Lane's secret facility, whatever the deal is with that. James Robinson has been raiding the pages of 1st Issue Special for forgotten one-shot-wonders like Codename:Assassin, seen walking with Lane, and Atlas, seen in earlier issues. This was actually a pretty interesting issue overall, with a few big moments that would have been a lot more surprising if Id' been keeping up with the books, I'm sure. It was pretty solid, but there was a sequence with the new Zatara and some sorceress and Mark Merlin that just made my eyes glaze over, so I'm not adding Superman to my pull file just yet. I'm also not wild the Superman books' semiannual need to send Superman away from Earth and instead focus on people who, however interesting they may be, are Not Superman.

I will however, show up to see Lizard Johnny, the Amazin' Ronnie, Hairy Larry, Ol' Doc Scary, and Mighty Mary running around in the DC Universe.

A Herbie Story by John Byrne

noreply@blogger.com (Brian Hughes) — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 03:03:00 +0000

As I promised in an earlier post, here is John Byrne's contribution to the Dark Horse Herbie reprint book of 1992. This was apparently meant to be part of a longer 12-issue series that would mix new Herbie stories with old, but only this and issue #2 were ever released. Few have tried to match the original stories by Richard Hughes and Ogden Whitney, but Byrne does a decent job of capturing the Herbie spirit, if not the outright insanity his world. See for yourself:

"The Most Beautiful Mom in the World!"
Words and Pictures by John Byrne
Story scanned from Herbie #1, Dark Horse Comics (October 1992)

Marvel's Superstars of Tomorrow (Circa 1993)

noreply@blogger.com (Brian Hughes) — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 04:11:00 +0000

How Twilight ruined Comic-Con

Here's another selection from Marvel:Year in Review '93, this one focused on that year's bumper crop of twenty six crappy, horrible new characters, all introduced in that year's Marvel Annuals and all basically forgotten today. Oh, Annex is in the Initiative, Bantam was killed by an even more obscure superhero in Civil War, and I'm sure all the X- Guys are still out there running around somewhere, but most of these ciphers have dropped out of sight.

They all came sealed with a trading card, too. Do you still have yours?

"I created a New Character For Marvel and all I got was this lousy trading card!" written by Tom Brevoort and Mike Kanterovich, provided a funny and cynically frank look at the "creative process" that went into tossing together this legion of cliches and thinly veiled swipes. A narrow range of traits defined the Superstars, with the result that each was a salad of CURSED, PHYSICALLY CHALLENGED, ARMOR, MUTANT, ETHNIC, and/or KILLER ROBOT. The article provided handy visual icons to identify which combination of those each character was, adding extra categories for LAME NAME and ZERO IMAGINATION, along with mocking commentary on the new heroes.

I think I read three or four of these at the time, and as I recall, the new characters were all terrible and awkwardly shoehorned in. Marvel was churning out some awful books at the time, and you can imagine the quality control at work with 26 Annuals going out the door. Ironically, this goofy Year in Review magazine was probably the best thing Marvel did in 1993!

BONUS SUPERSTARS OF TOMORROW GALLERY!

In Which I Draw the Batman Creature!

noreply@blogger.com (Brian Hughes) — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 03:19:00 +0000

.

Your friendly neighborhood web blogger has more up his sleeve than obsessing in print over obscure old comic books. I recently treated myself to some art supplies and took up drawing again. My son and I have been having a lot of drawing time together lately, and in the spirit of Covered, I came up with this wacky take on the cover of Batman #162 featuring the Bizarre Batman Creature! The logo and background are computer colored on this, but otherwise it's all hand drawn and mostly hand-colored. Whaddya Think?

Chris Ware’s Floyd Farland: Citizen of the Future

noreply@blogger.com (Brian Hughes) — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 03:31:00 +0000

I’ve been following the work of Chris Ware for many years now, beginning with the second issue of Acme Novelty Library, which I purchased on sight at a small Florida convention back in 1993. His precise, diagrammatic art style is a perfect complement to his incisive narratives of personal failure and alienation. His graphic novel Jimmy Corrigan: The Smartest Kid on Earth (2000) looks at a grandfather's miserable childhood to examine the events that shaped the titular man-child and his empty, unfulfilled life. Ware continues to amaze with once-yearly installments of Acme Novelty Library, and is currently dissecting the life of belligerent man-child collector Rusty Brown, via digressions into the past histories of Rusty’s Father and his best friend Chalky White. Regardless of the subject, no one else makes comics quite like Chris Ware, which leads one to wonder where all that talent came from.

Floyd Farland: Citizen of the Future is Ware's first published work, originally serialized as a weekly strip in The Daily Texan - the campus newspaper of the University of Texas - from 1986 and to 1987. The black and white comics boom of 1987 encouraged publisher Eclipse Comics to expand their line and seek out new talent, and Ware benefited from their success, as an Eclipse editor recommended Floyd Farland for reprinting. Once the reprint was arranged, Ware reformatted and partially redrew the story, but it still reads like the serialization that it originally was.

The story takes place in “the future” where technology and overpopulation have ruined society. A totalitarian state rules over all, and is constantly at odds with pretty much everybody. The rather shaky premise of the story is that everyone is in rebellion the government, except Floyd, which makes him especially suspicious and dangerous in the government’s eyes.

In the course of the story, Floyd is captured tortured, brainwashed, rescued, captured again, and mind-wiped. The punch line is that Floyd is so compliant, so unquestioning, that he can’t be brainwashed or beaten down, as he believes the whole ordeal is a silly misunderstanding. In the end, He himself becomes the new template and figurehead for this Dystopian society. At least, I think that’s what happens – the ending is pretty vague.

I've been running this blog for over three years, and have so far hesitated to run a feature about this comic. I understand that he now considers this work an embarrassment, but I respectfully disagree. It is really not that bad for a first work by a young artist and is easily one of the most interesting books to come out of the black and white glut mentioned earlier. An artist's early failings inform his later successes, and Chris Ware has nothing to be ashamed of here. That said, Ware’s work on “Farland” is a far, far cry from what he would evolve into.

The writing is very “Angry Young Man” circa 1987, what with the “Thought Police” and the “Totalitarian Government” slant. The art style is almost the exact opposite of his current style: crude, stark, and unpolished. Ware now applies an architectural precision to each page, but his early work is thick–lined, blocky, and chaotic. Background detail is abstract, when it appears at all, and human faces are blob-and-line cartoons. It is fortunate that most of the story is driven by exposition, because figuring out the action on some pages is nearly impossible.

Ware did bring a similar ironic detachment to the milieu and characters in Floyd Farland as he would to later works. As with those later works, I don’t get the sense that they are supposed to care about or “root” for anyone in particular. Floyd is not a hero, or even a good guy, merely a tool to be used by other players in the story.

Note that as the story ends, the last page of the story reverses the first, only now it is now Floyd Farland who guides the witless masses.

I was reading Acme Novelty Library for years before I realized that this oddball little black and white comic I had picked up in a quarter bin years before was created by the same guy. A few years ago, while filing comics, I pulled out Floyd Farland, flipped through it, and went running to the Internet to see if this was indeed that Chris Ware. This is not a great comic, but it was an important first step in the career of one of America’s premier graphic novelists, and as such is well worth examining.

Know Your X-Villains

noreply@blogger.com (Brian Hughes) — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 03:37:00 +0000

Here's another piece from Marvel: Year in Review '93, What could have been a throwaway promo magazine from Marvel's worst creative era ever ended up full of humorous hidden gems openly mocking some of those selfsame awful comics. The following Guide to Life in the Mutant '90s by Clay Griffith was one of the funniest things in the book, skewering the homogeneity of the generic Mutant warlords, Yakuza fancy lads, Magneto groupies, leather fetishists, and spiky-armored ponytail enthusiasts who made up the X-Men's rogue's gallery in the '90s And does it all using comparative charts. See for yourself:

Fifteen years, and the words "No hot tub data" still crack me up, startling and annoying my wife. Lest you think all this irrelevant, keep in mind: How long can it be before Marvel signs Mark Millar and Bryan Hitch up to bring all of these guys back, anyway? Before you know it, Shinobi Shaw and Stryfe could be playing chess in silk robes while warring for control of the Upstarts, and where will you be then? Best to print this and laminate it, I'd say.

The REAL First Appearance of the Red Hulk

noreply@blogger.com (Brian Hughes) — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 23:08:00 +0000

Well, okay not really. But it is the first appearance of a Red Hulk in a Marvel publication, predating the "Rulk's" first appearance by fifteen years. I was going through some old magazines earlier, and look at what I found in Marvel:Year in Review "93:

The page is from the article "Bring on the Bad Guys!" by Tom Brevoort and Mike Kanterovich, which concerns itself even then with the darkening of the Superheroes. Running with the article were lighter sidebar illustrations of the "Good" "Better" and "Best" versions of various Marvel chracters, with the best in each case being a wacky made-up version that was even more extreme than the most extreme version. You can imagine the character progressions that lead to "Bile", "the Patriot Missile", and "Clawjaw". Anyway, the "Red Hulk" pictured above is a red-colored Hulk 2099, if you didn't know.

Bitter Irony Alert: "Disney's Howard the Duck"

noreply@blogger.com (Brian Hughes) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 03:25:00 +0000

So yeah, this Marvel/Disney thing. They were going to get bought up by a corporate monolith sooner or later; Disney is as good as any, I suppose. I guess they have my permission.

One thing that kept coming up in articles about this were comments along the lines of: "Finally! Howard can team up with Donald!" "Howard the Duck and Mickey Mouse! It has to happen!" or "Maybe Pixar can do a Howard the Duck movie that works!"

Ugh. With all due respect to Pixar, who are great, no they fucking can't. And they shouldn't.

I'm fairly certain Howard the Duck hasn't even come up in corporate conversation yet, but before someone does get the bright idea to "strategically re-position Howard the Duck's branding paradigm" or whatever, let me remind everyone that Disney already has a family of Ducks, many of whom are cranky and irascible. One More or less won't make any difference. In fact, Disney actively worked to crush Howard back in the late 1970's.

Howard the Duck's popularity flared brightly and briefly after his debut in Adventure Into Fear #19 (1973). The book's idiosyncratic satire hit a nerve at the time, and the was quite popular for a time, thanks to the scripting of his creator, Steve Gerber. Gerber was Howard, basically, and the oddity-infested world he walked in reflected Gerber's unique mindset and worldview. Gerber was abruptly dismissed by Marvel over a number of issues, not the least of which was Disney's 1979 legal bullying of Marvel comics over Howard's alleged resemblance to Donald Duck.

Years later, Gerber was approached by Marvel to try a Howard relaunch under the newly minted, adult-slanted Marvel MAX imprint. Gerber was eager to try his hand at scripting the duck again, only to find that the Disney action was more than mere bullying. Here's the story in Gerber's words, from a 2001 Newsarama interview by Michael Doran (archived at Steve Gerber.com):

SG: "Back in 1979 or so - I don't have the exact date handy - the Walt Disney Company threatened to sue Marvel Comics, claiming that Howard the Duck infringed on their Donald Duck trademark. To avoid a legal battle, Marvel's old management signed an unbelievably stupid agreement with Disney regarding the design of Howard the Duck. Under the terms of that agreement, Howard must conform to a set of designs that Disney provided for the character. It's the version with the beady eyes, the hideous swollen beak, and the baggy trousers, the one that appeared in the black-and-white Howard magazine and in the movie. The way the agreement is worded, Marvel isn't even allowed to come up with an entirely different design, even if that design bore no resemblance to Donald.
"Over the past couple of decades, I've done a lot of complaining about the idiocy of Marvel's old management, and if ever there was proof of my argument, this is it. They literally let another company redesign their own character for them. As best I can tell, Marvel never even attempted to negotiate the matter, never even submitted any alternate designs for Disney's consideration. I can just picture the Disney artists, hunched over their drawing boards, cackling like hyenas, as they designed the ugliest duck they could possibly imagine. Disney's lawyers and management must have had a real belly laugh, too, when Marvel accepted their design without balking.
"Now, I wasn't even aware that such an agreement existed on paper. I thought Marvel had simply agreed on a 'handshake' basis with Disney that Howard wouldn't look like Donald. We were in the process of redesigning Howard - Glenn Fabry had done some terrific sketches - when Stuart Moore checked with Marvel's legal department and turned up the written agreement. Needless to say, everyone concerned was horrified. None of us, least of all myself, wanted to do a character that had to look like that appalling Disney design."

Gerber went on to explain that he eventually devised a workaround for the issue, by mutating Howard into a MOUSE for the new series, and they moved ahead. The series came out, and as a Howard fan, I enjoyed it, but it never did feel quite right. They say you can't go home again, and all that. Further, the story suffered for having to shoehorn in the mutation storyline, so the whole thing landed with a thud. More recently Marvel tried redesigning Howard yet again, under different creators, to deafening indifference.

The bitter irony is that Disney now owns the character they helped to make unusable. Steve Gerber died in 2008, silencing Howard's only convincing voice. Any Howard that remains is an empty, corporate shell; indistinguishable from the denizens of Duckburg, and pointless in today's world. So no, Donald Duck should not meet Howard the Duck. And no, Howard doesn't need to show up in Dark Reign either. Now, more than ever, Marvel should let sleeping ducks lie.

Howard the Duck is Dead. Let him rest in peace.

Who Is Nekron?

noreply@blogger.com (Brian Hughes) — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 03:48:00 +0000

If you’re reading this, you’re on the Internet, and if you’re on the Internet, you probably know by now that NEKRON is the evil force behind Blackest Night. Unless you are a complete comics obsessive like me, your response to this news was most likely “Wha? Huh? Who Nekron?!?”

Nekron is an old Green Lantern foe dating back to one of DC’s very earliest mini-series, Tales of the Green Lantern Corps (1981). It was actually one of the earliest DC series I ever read, though long since lost from my collection. Nekron rules the Realm of the Dead, a nebulously-defined region of cosmic real-estate that’s not quite Limbo, not quite Purgatory, where the souls of the dead await passage to either Heaven or Hell. Nekron was content enough to lord over the spirits in waiting until Krona arrived, opening a rift to the universe of the living. Krona was an immortal, so when he “died”, the paradox ripped open the wall between Nekron’s grim domain and the living universe:

Scans from Green Lantern Annual #7 by Steve Vance and Ron Lim

Peeking through the rift, Nekron decided he wanted some of that action, and sent Krona and an army of dead Green lanterns to kill the Guardians of the Universe and widen the rift to allow his escape. Hal Jordan and the living lanterns managed to beat back the invasion, but Nekron hasn’t been the same since. His appearances since then have been variations on the same “raise the dead to invade the living world” trick, and it seems that Blackest Night is his biggest, most ambitious plot yet.

The revolving-door nature of death in the DC Universe is itself a major theme of Blackest Night, so I suspect that Nekron’s ambitions are going to end up being the reason for that instability. We don’t know how or why he was made ruler of the afterlife, but for a time, he was only one aspect of death in the DCU. As told in some Captain Atom comics I last read 17 years ago and in Nekron’s Wikipedia entry:

“Captain Atom has a run-in with Nekron in the pages of Captain Atom #42 and #43 (June-July 1990), in which he is described as "Death as the Ultimate Opponent." Black Racer, also making an appearance, is coined "Death as an Inevitability," while Death (prominently known from her appearances in Vertigo titles) represents "Death as the Release, as Mercy, as Compassion."

Death and the Black Racer are both out of the picture these days, with Vertigo characters famously off-limits to the DCU and the New Gods characters having been exported to an alternate Earth, so that may leave Nekron as “the” Limbo/Purgatory gatekeeper. We can probably assume, then, that Nekron has a purpose; to process and usher dead souls into the afterlife. It appears he’s been hoarding the souls of the dead heroes and villains all these years, planning Blackest Night, and as a result, it’s been much easier for dead souls to come and go. If so, Nekron is a cosmic-level slacker who hasn’t been doing his job at all. Like a disgruntled worker surfing "Monster.com" on company time, Nekron spends all of his time scheming to conquer the realm of the living, while letting his “IN” box fill up. I don’t know if he’s been doing the same piss-poor job with civilians, but all signs point to “Yes" at least as far as deceased supporting cast members are concerned.

This idea even fits in pretty well with publishing history, since the majority of Black Lanterns we’ve seen died after Crisis on Infinite Earths in 1985, which lines up approximately with Nekron’s debut (and discovery of the living realm) in 1981. In other words, so far, we haven’t seen any Black Lanterns who died before Nekron got ambitious and started paying attention.

Meta, isn’t it?

If so, his defeat (we assume!) at the end of Blackest Night could lead to a sacking and change of management in Limbo. Maybe the Spectre will get the job. Presumably, that would also lead to a slate of redemptive resurrections and/or passages to the afterlife. I could see a mass resurrection, with a few characters electing to go to their final reward peacefully, knowing that they will pass forever. I always enjoy seeing obscure characters get dug up and dusted off, and I actually have read all of his previous appearances, so I’m interested to see Nekron’s big push after all these years. Whatever happens, the metaphysical implications are pretty staggering for the DCU, and should make for good reading.

Ghosts of Blackest Night in the 30th Century!

noreply@blogger.com (Brian Hughes) — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 21:32:00 +0000

DC's latest epic crossover, Blackest Night has been pretty good so far, though the second issue seemed featherlight compared to the first, and told us nothing we didn't already know. Except, of course, that we've already been here. A couple of times.

In 1998, DC's JLA annuals were haunted by "GHOSTS", as the various JLA'ers were haunted by the dead from their pasts. (Note that by now, many of those "dead" have since returned.) I don't have most of these, but if the Green Lantern, Flash, and JLA Annuals I do have are any indication, it looks like the Bernie Wrightson covers were the best things about 'em.

Ignore that innacurate-but-excellent cover; Flash Annual #7 saw the Flash, haunted by the flickering, barely coherent speed force ghost of Johnny Quick. He finally has a heartwarming ghost-hug with Jessie Quick, but no point does Johnny become a zombie and attack Flash.

Green Lantern Annual#7 is a different story however, as Kyle Rayner finds himself meeting his fellow Green Lanterns for the first time, as hideous, undead revenants! You'll recall that in 1998, the Green Lantern Corps were still dead, Mogo was destroyed, and the Corps disbanded, leaving Kyle Rayner the sole Green Lantern. Nekron shows up, taking advantage of the supernatural forces behind the larger "Ghosts" storyline to elbow his way back into our universe, and sics the Lantern Corpses on Kyle, before being subdued. We'll be talking more about that guy soon.

No, the true force behind the haunting in the Annuals is revealed in JLA Annual #2. It turns out Felix Faust, in one of his many bids for immortality has awakened an ancient Egyptian wizard, Hermes Trismegistus, and angered him enough to cause all this mess with the ghosts.

All of this, indeed, all events in the story so far, is of secondary importance to the GHOST OF VIBE:

Yes, Paco Ramone returns, looking for his former team mate, Aquaman. The Ghost of Vibe is accompanied by eerie strains of old school electro Break dance music wherever he goes, and soon Ice, Steel, and other dead JLA members re-emerge as well. At the end, Vibe leads them to dog-pile on the evil-wizard-possessed Faust:

Five years earlier, in the 30th century, The Legion of Superheroes 43-48 (1993) saw a multi-issue saga that had the 30th century heroes caught in a struggle between Mordru and the White Witch. Mordru raised an army of the undead, among whom were such dead Earth heroes as Vigilante, the Justice Society, and Jason Todd:

As if that weren't bad enough, the Legion had racked up quite a body count by this time in this continuity, so eventually, all of the dead Legionaries showed up for a Live Legion versus Dead Legion showdown:

So yeah, DC has done the "Undead Heroes return" thing before, albeit never on the Scale of Blackest Night. It remains to be seen how Blackest Night turns out, but lets hope we at least get Black Lantern Vibe out of it, before we're through.

.

Kevin O'Neill Draws Tales of the Bizarro World!

noreply@blogger.com (Brian Hughes) — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 12:38:00 +0000

If there is any DC character Kevin O'Neill was born to draw, its Bizarro, and this Tom Peyer- written short from 1998 gave him full run of Bizarro world, despite that world "not existing" in canon at the time. Mister O'Neill's work is polarizing; you either love it or hate it. I quite like it myself, and hope you enjoy "BIZARRO MUST THINK", a tale of one monster's demented bittersweet fantasy:

Say it with me now:
BIZARRO CODE
Us do opposite of all earthly things.
Us hate beauty.
Us love ugliness.
Is big crime to do anything perfect on Bizarro world.

Poor, poor lonely Bizarro. But don't feel too bad for him - he did get his own version of Bizarro World, eventually.

"Bizarro Must Think"
Script: Tom Peyer
Art: Kevin O'Neill
Story scanned from Adventure Comics 80-Page Giant, DC Comics (October 1998)

Sponge Worthy

noreply@blogger.com (Brian Hughes) — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 03:30:00 +0000

If Jolly Jack Kirby be something ye wish, Then drop to the deck, and flop like a fish!

I had to share this most excellent Spongebob Superteam illustration I found over at Paul Conrad's Super Robot Monster Blog! He did this drawing for an issue of Nickelodeon Magazine, apparently one of the titles' last. Check out Paul's blog for more on that, as well as some great concept sketches, including Spongebob as...Arnim Zola?!?

ANY way, nautical nonsense indeed be something I wish, and my eight year old son and I have enjoyed many a morning chortling inanely at the antics of Spongebob, Patrick and the rest of the denizens of Bikini Bottom. Of course, as a grouchy old bald man, I most identify with Squidward. I also dig the legendary comic book art of Jack Kirby, as I've mentioned a few times before, so this mash-up of Spongebob and the cover of Fantastic Four #49 was appreciated by father and son alike!

I really like how Paul went the extra mile of reverse-Kirby-engineering the Spongebob cast, and thinking it through, rather than taking the easy route of simply drawing the cast in Fantastic Four uniforms. Patrick makes an ideal Thing stand-in, given that the Thing is basically star-shaped. Spongebob's hyper-helmeted design incorporates his beloved spatula, and ironically enough, Kirby's style tended towards square pants anyway, so that's a perfect translation. All the designs are great, actually. Heck, now I wanna see a whole comic with the Spongebob Superteam!

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Bang-Up Thrilling Displays of Physical Strength and Power

noreply@blogger.com (Brian Hughes) — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 04:02:00 +0000

I think it's a damn shame that Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster were treated so badly for so long by National/DC Comics. They really should have gotten their proper due as the creators of Superman, if only so Siegel could have spent more of his sunset years playing golf and fewer writing comics like Mr. Muscles:

Brett Carson is Mr. Muscles, a costumed strongman who begins "Man Vs. Beast!" hanging out at the Zoo showing off for the adoring crowds. The best I can tell by this issue, somehow Mr. Muscles makes a living by running a gym full of "pupils", wrestling, and, well, appearing at Zoos, apparently.

But not everyone is a fan. Meet the most embittered Zookeeper in comics:

Mister Muscles dazzles the crowd with such feats as: balancing himself on one thumb! Lifting weights on barbells! 81 whole knee-bends! The exhibition climaxes as Mr. Muscles meets his greatest challenge yet; a big bald lard ass climbing a ladder to cannon ball our hapless roid-case:

HOORAY MR. MUSCLES!!! Of course, the fat guy tumbles down the ladder to a shuddering heap on the cement below, dislocating several vertebrae, but who cares, he’s just some fat fuck! MR. MUSCLES!!! Every day is a rippling, glistening, corded holiday with Mr. Muscles around!

That evening, the worlds mightiest physical culturist instructs his pupils:

"Now, the trick is to let them know you're really trying to kick the drugs, but you need to sell these candy bars so you can go to the drug retreat at Disney World. Then you won't be stuck here and tempted back to drugs. We talked about what IMPLY means, Right?

Class: (mumbles agreement)

Mr. Muscles: Right! So you all gotta IMPLY that if they DON'T buy enough candy bars, you might be back! For money to steal from them! For drugs!! "

Give the man credit though, when he gets an emergency call from the zoo, he immediately jumps out the window. I'd like to see "the Fuzz" match that level of service:

Published by Charlton Comics, Mr. Muscles took over issues 22 and 23 of the defunct Blue Beetle series, so don't be fooled into thinking that Mr. Muscles lasted 23 issues! Charlton did this sort of numbering trick all the time to avoid paying mailing fees related to starting up a new title. So they might start out with Combat Action for issues 1-7, change to Western Action for issues 8-13, and morph to Undersea Romance Western for issues 14-24, before wrapping up the run with, say, Captain Atom's Tomb of Terror for issues 25 and 26. Modern readers will be heartened to know that Marvel has made great strides in challenging Charlton’s position as King of the fucked-up numbering mountain in recent years.

In other news, yes, an apparently nude "Kid Muscles" has just jumped into the Roadster....

A page later, the Evil Zoo Keeper has immediately knocked out the useless Kid Muscles and trapped Mr. muscles in the tiger cage. Between their special Fat Guy/Bodybuilder Stunt-Stravaganza and their deranged, Tiger-unleashing Zoo Caretaker, I'm thinking this Zoo has some serious OSHA issues.

I have no words for the TIGER MUSCLE ZOO ACTION that follows:

Then it turns out that the wicked Zoo Keeper was just jealous of Mr. Muscles! He was all skinny, and Mr.Muscles was all strong, and it just made him want to turn tigers loose on one guy and try to shoot another guy!

Then Mr. Muscles tells the inspring tale of how he overcame polio to perfect his body and strove for years to regain his mobility, then later to resemble a giant greased cauliflower. All is forgiven as our Don Knotts-esque Zooman becomes a physical and moral exemplar, rippling with muscles and mental clarity. I like to think that he went back to work at the zoo wearing just the wrestling shorts and his "Zoo Caretaker" cap.

Marvel and MarvelMan

noreply@blogger.com (Brian Hughes) — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 04:27:00 +0000

So Marvel owns Marvelman now. Oh shit. An insanely convoluted intellectual rights situation just got a whole hell of a lot crazier, and I'm sure this will all go just as smoothly as, say, the aftermath of Michael Jackson's death.

I’m not sure what, if anything was accomplished by Marvel’s deal with Mick Anglo, but it almost certainly had nothing to do with moving forward the reprinting of Miracleman. The list of people that may need to be placated in order to get those stories to print includes, but isn’t necessarily limited to: Alan Moore, Neil Gaiman, Garry Leach, Dez Skinn, Alan Davis, Chuck Austen, John Totleben, Rick Veitch, Mark Buckingham, and Todd McFarlane. That’s a lot of money to throw around, and some of those folks are going to be difficult no matter what.

But lets be optimistic and suppose Marvel throws money in all the right directions. Everyone buys off, and they get all the Marvelman and Miracleman rights, and even Alan Moore just basically washes his hands of it. Everything’s hunky-dory, right? Not so fast. Just because Marvel has caught this fish doesn’t mean they know how to gut it, clean it, and cook it.

Let’s say Marvel gets it together somehow to get a deluxe edition Miracleman collection into bookstores: $150 deluxe multi- volume set collecting books 1-4 . Regardless of format, rest assured that “MARVEL” will take up approximately 40% of the spine. In BIG RED LETTERS. They will fuck up the presentation somehow, I assure you. Do you think this one will be a big enough deal to call in Arthur Suydam to do the Zombie Variant cover? Because there will be one.

Then there’s the innards. In all the rush to get this treasured classic, how many of the higher ups at Marvel have actually read Miracleman recently? I have, and it’s full of interesting things that they might recoil at when the rubber hits the road, and the book goes to press. For example, I can’t imagine Marvel Comics leaving the unflinchingly realistic four-page birth scene from Miracleman #9 intact, at least not in any mass-market printing. In the context of the story, Miracleman has just rescued his very pregnant wife Liz from Doctor Gargunza, when she realizes that its time to have the baby. They are far from any hospital, so Miracleman has to help her deliver right then and there, and Rick Veitch drew the whole graphic birth sequence, front and center. And why not? There are sure enough graphic deaths in comics. But I can't imagine Marvel printing the sequence uncut, especially in any mass-market edition. Imagine the howls of outrage then! It's the next big tempest in a teapot, I'm telling ya!

This is My Favorite Panel From Neil Gaiman's MiracleMan

noreply@blogger.com (Brian Hughes) — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 02:43:00 +0000

When or if you'll ever see the full context of this scene remains to be seen, but I assure you, Miracleman is NOT about a geriatric Nightwing being endlessly harangued by a morbidly obese Starfire, as much as I may wish otherwise. I've got some thoughts on Marvel's purchase of Marvelman coming soon, but first, I had to share this panel from Miracleman #22. Gaiman's first arc, with Mark Buckingham, got a bit surreal, as you can see. More on Miracleman and Marvelman soon, chums!

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Matter Eater Legends: Tenzil For the Defense!

noreply@blogger.com (Brian Hughes) — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 03:39:00 +0000

Now that Final Crisis: Legion of Three Worlds has finally wrapped, it looks like almost all Legion of Super-Heroes stories still “happened” somewhere in continuity, albeit maybe not in the timeline we thought they did. The original Legion that debuted in Adventure Comics #247 has been restored to its rightful place in the Earth-1/New Earth/Earth-Wherever-the-Hell-It-Is-That-All-the-Main-DC-Books-Take-Place timeline with most of their history intact, the exception being pretty much everything that happened after Crisis on Infinite Earths and the attendant erasure of Superboy from the Legion's timeline...

...You know, there's no way to write some of this stuff without sounding like a complete, gibbering loon.

Unfortunately, that means that the entire “Five years Later” Legion was wiped from the slate in favor of whatever new path the adult Legion forges from here on out. I can live with that, I guess, but it also wipes out the awesome and hilarious solo adventures of Tenzil Kem, a.k.a. Matter-Eater Lad, including “Tenzil For the Defense”.

Matter-Eater Lad was the longtime Legion member whose power was to basically eat anything. He became emblematic of the goofy nature of the early Legion of Super-Heroes era, but was hardly the goofiest thing they had going, or even the goofiest individual member. Nonetheless, his return to the 5YL Legion saw him played for laughs, and Tenzil was much needed comedy relief in the otherwise somber proceedings at the time. In his own blog, Writer Tom Bierbaum described how he wrote Tenzil as a Peter Venkman type of irreverent hero, a move that ended up being a truly inspired choice. This way, at least we're laughing with, and not at Matter-Eater Lad for a change. We first saw “the new Tenzil” in LoSH vol 4, #10 trying to get through space customs with an unorthodox form of currency:

Matter-Eater Lad had been out of the Legion picture for a long time, having eaten the reality-warping Miracle Machine in Superboy and The Legion of Super-Heroes #251, and subsequently being driven insane by its strange, cosmic energies. He recovered, but was drafted back into his home planet’s screwy compulsory political system, where he was an overwhelmingly beloved Senator. He returned to his unwanted political duties with a sense of freewheeling abandon, actively trying to get thrown out of the Bismollian senate by blowing taxpayer money on several increasingly-popular documentary shows, including the fact-ignoring and sanity-defying “Wild Archaeology”:

Of course, the shows are so popular that he ends up bringing in more money to his constituency than he could ever effectively piss away, therefore the people love him, and the government hates him. After awhile, interest wanes, and Wild Archaeology is canceled to make way for a courtroom drama: Tenzil for the Defense! Tenzil is only half-interested until he finds that his first case involves former Legion leader Polar Boy, arrested for inciting dissension at a pizza parlor. Remember that Earthgov was shadow-backed by Dominators at this time, so Tenzil knows that there is no way that Polar Boy is going to get a fair trial. Tenzil throws himself into Brek’s defense the only way he knows how; unapologetic, madcap stalling antics, and one of the funniest courtroom scenes I’ve read in comics:

Tenzil wins the case but wisely hauls ass off Earth with Polar-Boy in tow, still wearing his Braino costume, before anyone has too much time to think about it. This was a classic issue, with some truly hilarious moments. It also led to another couple of epic Tenzil/Polar Boy adventures, but those will have to wait for another day. As of Final Crisis: Legion of Three Worlds #5, Matter-Eater Lad is among a few still-missing characters that the Legion needs to locate, so let’s hope he eats his way back into the spotlight soon!

Blackest Night Thoughts

noreply@blogger.com (Brian Hughes) — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 23:43:00 +0000

Blackest Night has been years in the making, and looks like it might actually pay off. Issue #1 was good, creepy stuff. The panel where Green Lantern rings up all of the DC Universe dead, shown below really points out how casual DC's disposal of their superheroes has been over the last 25 years or so. That's not even counting what I'm sure is easily three times as many villains, and countless supporting cast. The ending was quite distressing, but effectively so. I wasn't really expecting much from this, but the first issue was a good start.

The question remains; Will they use this as an excuse to resurrect a bunch of characters? Any of these guys? All of them?

An important point: These zombies aren't zombies. Zombies have a whole set of rules that Black Lantern Ralph and Sue Dibny weren't following. These Black Ring entities are possessing the bodies, manipulating the bodies, and mimicking the former occupants, all the better to be evil, but they aren't zombies.

It's okay, kids, that's not Golden Age Superman ripping out Krypto's heart, that's some...thing using Golden Age Superman's body like a sock puppet!

For awhile there, Neil Gaiman's Death was the personification of Death in the DCU, but that hasn't been the case in some time. I think they've also tried to suggest that the Black Racer "was" Death, but that never really stuck either, and regardless, he's off the table now too. The fact that there's really nobody to usher the dead into the afterlife these days may play a part thematically in Blackest Night.

I will be very disappointed without an appearance by Driq of Criq. Driq was the (ahem) short-lived zombie Green Lantern introduced in Green Lantern #217. Driq was great, by the way, a Green Lantern so learned and valuable that his ring wouldn't let him go after he died.

What's With the Ambush Bug Delay?

noreply@blogger.com (Brian Hughes) — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 03:40:00 +0000

"This is DC backing Ambush Bug completely. Other times when we've done Ambush Bug, it was kind of like guerrilla warfare."

So what’s going on with Ambush Bug: Year None #6? Issue #5 came out months ago, but the sixth and final issue remains a no-show. The series was edited by Jann Jones, and in an apparent effort to duplicate earlier Ambush Bug series’ inclusion of Julius Schwartz, Keith Giffen depicted Jones as a character in the series, a sidekick of sorts to DC Editor-In-Chief Dan DiDio.

That whole aspect of the series fell flat, in my opinion, as Dan DiDio has hardly earned the beloved figurehead status of a Julius Schwartz. Jann Jones has since left DC Comics for personal reasons. Maybe she was written into issue #6 and needed to be removed, but if so surely that's an afternoon's work for Keith Giffen? It shouldn't be that big of a deal to get the book partially redrawn, but much of the creative team is in the dark. We've all heard the rumours. If there was some sort of…irregularity…in the editorial relationships that led one party to leave DC’s employ, surely holding up this book for over six months seems like a good way to keep drawing attention to the (hypothetical, of course) situation. Apparently, Jones had to lobby DiDio to get Ambush Bug: Year None on the schedule in the first place, so perhaps there’s a whiff of spite here, as well.

"16. When will we see the last issue of the Ambush Bug series?
DD: It is being completed as we speak – the last issue is on my desk. It’s one book that I can say quite honestly that hit the editor’s desk and got stuck there. We’re just making a couple of revisions to the story, and I felt the likenesses were a little too complimentary, so I had to make them a little worse."

Yeah, we keep hearing that same flip "explanation". To the extent that its become a running joke at Newsarama. Is he waiting for the pages to sprout wings and fly themselves to the printer? I just want my fucking Ambush Bug comic, really. I'm sure the bowdlerized version that does emerge is gonna be awesome. Who knew wacky comedy could be so dramatic, eh?

Not Aunt Petunia!

noreply@blogger.com (Brian Hughes) — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 03:00:00 +0000

I wasn't very impressed with this Marquis of Death/Master of Doom character when he spent the last few issues merrily slaughtering a host of alternate Fantastic Fours. I yawned when he casually tossed Doctor Doom himself back to the dawn of time, feeding him to prehistoric sharks. I briefly slipped into a coma when he blew up Latveria with a snap of his finger. But now that he's effortlessly skeletonized The Thing's Aunt Petunia, I'm convinced he's a stone-cold badass. Feh. I've been underwhelmed with Millar and Hitch's FF anyway, and now they cap it off by killing poor harmless Aunt Petunia. Well, maybe there will be some sort of cheesy cosmic reset switch at the end and we can forget this ever happened. As usual, there's some reason that Millar and Hitch can't quite finish on time, so the final issue of their "revolutionary" run will be handled by others. In the case of the art, by Stuart Immomen, so that's a step up, at least. Still, they have one issue to wrap all this up and marry off the Thing, assuming they're still going through with that. Again, Feh.