Agent Cockroach Diaries

Monday on Recount.....7th January 2008

2008-01-08T00:58:00.000+08:00

No one would have guessed where I am right now.....maybe not, I've been here before.....at the exact same timing as well. Kovan Mac....in case you haven't figured. Come to think of, it has been some 6 months on (since I have last stepped in here to blog and do my work). How thing's have changed in such a short span, even the staffing here has changed.

Back then, I was slogging and still confused as to where my future lies.....Now I'm stilling slogging and my future hasn't cleared up much either. However my fortunes seem to have entered unchartered territory, thanks (or no thanks) to an unexpected turn of events today. Hmmm lets see....while I take another bite into my sinful indulgence of a night snack,....

Hmmm, all seemed typical of a monday at work in the morning and even up till lunch time. There was no signs or warnings that shows the slightest hints or prelude to what was about to happen later in the evening. Speculations were mounting from mid-day as RH left the office hastily.

By evening, it was announced that RH had left us. The true reason behind if was left wide open to all forms of speculation to fill in the blanks, not that the management bothered or gave the least hoot about it. The conspiracy theorists will have a field day or perhaps an extended holiday season till the hysteria and sceptism dies down.....eventually

As for me, being me.....it's all about taking it in my stride as the matter was completely out of my powers and beyond my intervention. But I'm not allowed to take up the role of the innocent bystander. I have been assigned to pick up where RB has left off and take over stewardship of my team. I have been barely keeping my head above water and now I'm suppose to mastermind the success for a collective group?

Come to think of it, having just made it past the half year mark and now this, this rapid rise to possible prominence seems all too familiar a story littered across my life. Only this time, I won't want to be that short burst sprinter but rather to go on and last the distance.

Now onto my primary agenda for the night....to ponder my next move, for this is my time....i'm referring to the night of course, i work best at night....not?

Sunday Morning Surprise

2008-01-06T08:12:00.000+08:00

I'm awake this early! Isn't that big enough a surprise?

Now for the second part of the problem. Should I head down to Braddell for football with my colleagues or not? Hmmm, wonder if I'm still reeking with alcohol from the night before.....

Anyway, anyhow I will be heading to office later (on a sunday??!?!?!) for some unfinished business. Damn, I'm really no morning person, feeling real grouchy already.

Here's hoping the world will not get in my face today......CHEERS~~~~

Saturday Night January 05th 2008

2008-01-06T04:37:00.000+08:00

My thoughts at 4.30am on a sunday morning....just recapping whats happened on my saturday gone by.....

Well, I slept a hell of alot (what's new?!??!). I actually woke up fully only at about 5 in the evening?!!?! As for activities, I joined up with my boss and colleagues at a Chinese Taoist function organised by one of our business associates. It was a rowdy affair on a typical southeast asian evening in the midst of a torrential downpour.

Can you imagine how life can be so different amongst contemporaries? While some of us are struggling to make ends meet, there are others who can flaunt 100k+ in less than 2 hours for some inanimate object. Given these items artefacts are believed to be blessed with good fortune for the their future owners, perhaps that "little wealth" to part could be such an "oh so little" sacrifice in exchange for the reward it promises to bring.

I then joined up with Chong and some of former colleagues at Double O for a long overdue drink. Age is definitely catching up as reality struck me....real hard. I no longer seem to fit into the atmosphere I used to enjoy. A part of me seem to be missing or perhaps I'm really getting old. It's funny isn't it, how night life is so often associated with only the young and trendy(not all are trendy though) in our society though it is widely accepted for all ages else where.

Time for me to grab some sleep. Perhaps I can get a whole new perspective when I get out of my bed in the morning later, if I do get up in the morning that is,......

02 January 2008

2008-01-02T22:59:00.000+08:00

Highlight of the day..... Eugene's officially hitched (its his ROM-day) Guess another one bites the dust.....just kidding, you have all my well wishes and blessings for this heavenly made union.
There's a chalet organised by Euz for the occasion and some of the guys are spending the night over before the BBQ tomorrow.

Me? I'm home, not here nor there. Undecided and restless, unable to come to consensus with myself on what to do on this wednesday night. I'm still feeling the effects of a prolonged holiday season. Let's see, what are my options.....

1) Join the guys at Downtown East Chalet but gotta shuffle back for work tomorrow ( I forgot to apply for leave tomorrow ....... my bad)
2) Scurry my way to "chook" and be the uninvited wingman for Yuyi (aka Brian or Bryan, the way he prefers to be known) for what I believe will likely be an ill-fated mis-adventure for him.
3) Stay home and hope I can get to sleep....EARLY (Which life experiences tell me, its near impossible)

Choices, Choices, Choices.....2008 has started just as the way 2007 ended for me, everything at work and life remains at its most monotonous best. Pity the children who are still wishing they'll grow up sooner and realise its a vicious cycle, coz Adults hope to relive their childhood or at least some amongst never grew the least bit.....boys will be boys yah?

New Year 2008

2008-01-01T21:19:00.000+08:00

Its the new year and I spent most of it doing what I did alot last year.....I slept through the day. A new perspective needed perhaps.

Last night, I had really wanted to do something different from the previous years. making up for lost time maybe, considering I had spent majority of the past decade working on New Year's eve. Bernard managed to get a suite in Marina Mandarin to have party to welcome the coming of the new year. Though the lack of a good view of the festivities was rather anti-climatic but with or without fire works doesn't matter for me, I was determined to have a good time nonetheless.

This party was closely-knit affair, certainly nostalgic to relive the idle banter between old pals, taking pot shots at each other. We could have hopped off to some club to drink ourselves silly but instead we had a game of "guillotine", a fun card game based on the historic events of the French Revolution.

The day is almost over and CRUNCH time has just set in. 2008 here I come.

31th December 2007 - My New Year Resolution

2007-12-31T19:44:00.000+08:00

Probably the most repeated header on the last day of 2007. It has been an eventful year in many different aspects. One thing for sure, I have grown (or should I say matured or aged....whuteva..*whistling*). Onto the formalities,......

1) To be REALLY happy....
2) To work towards doing 100k/month sales (seriously?!?!?) .....if I'm still in the same line
3) To WAKE UP on time .....always (perennial problem)
4) To find the "magic compass" (not the movie of course! but to get my bearing)
5) ....etc (undecided for any other stuff)

Its New Year Eve, I'm suppose to be at a party but WHY the hell am I in office writing this entry? Lets hope this is no preview for the new year to come. If so, at least something has ceased to change. Have a wonderful 2008 ahead folks! *4 hours + and counting

The Weekend in Retrospect

2007-12-30T23:31:00.000+08:00

Well, yet another one that went by. In fact, it flew by so fast, it gives you that niggling feeling that you're wasting your life away.....

On friday night, I met up with Darrell and Bernard in AMK hub for dinner and some TCSS catching up. Considering I haven't met Bern for the longest time (some 5-6 years) I think, our session actually stretched into the wee hours of the next morning before we decided to head home since public transport has resumed service. The usual nostalgic topics of college life and how each of us are getting on and of course, Bern has extended an invitation to his gathering on Monday to welcome and usher in the new year.

Other than that, I probably can sum up the rest of the week with this expression"Zzzzzzzz". I'm running on empty recently, void of hope and imagination. Perhaps its better not to have any, then the despair of disappointment will no longer haunt you. A lesson learned maybe.....

Post-Christmas Morning

2007-12-26T08:56:00.000+08:00

This has arrived kinda late. I should have written something about yesterday the night before BUT I was interrupted by unforeseen circumstances (brotherly intervention).

I have to agree with most of friends. X'Mas this year has been so peripheral and simply just passed us by. I spent my X'mas eve playing MJ at my boss' place before returning home to my comfy bed which might be just as surprised to receive me so early.

X'Mas morning, I had initiated a gathering of "heroes" for leisure basketball game which turned ugly. No thanks to my elbow which sent Yong to Changi General Hospital, nursing a broken nose. It was a clean break as the doctors described and that was where the majority of the afternoon was spent.

Now, I'm back in my battle-station with 5 days to go. Let the arrival of the new year bring new promises and hopeful this time, it can be delivered.

X'mas Eve....afternoon in office

2007-12-24T13:48:00.000+08:00

Yo peeps, taking a little time off from the festivities in office to wish one and all a wonderful holiday season. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Doing something different.....

2007-12-23T22:39:00.000+08:00

People who know me, know that I don't really fancy the idea of shopping. I hate being ushered through a packed crowd by the invisible pressure of those behind me. BUT I did it today......it was absolutely out of character. I made my way to Suntec City and browsed my way to Marina Square and City Link, all on my own. I'm quite amazed I actually lasted 4 hours considering I usually go for a quick grab and extract approach to buying stuff I need.

Saw some people I know but couldn't be bothered to walk up to say "hi". Maybe I was too preoccupied with myself and couldn't care less to engage in cordial banter. I did stop for a conversation though, with Marcus & Connie, a couple I knew from my old Lancer Club days. They're happily married and has a kid in tow. We exchanged niceties and went about our own business there off.

This is the first time I had went out on my own to mingle with the festive crowd alone, many more to come maybe? I can't say for sure but in the meantime, its onto the next part of what's left of my sunday, football time!

22 Dec 2007 Saturday....

2007-12-23T01:15:00.000+08:00

As we all know, X'mas is round the corner or should I say, right at your door step! (considering its just 2 days away). I got into the X'mas mood as well, getting into the spirit of giving. My colleagues will arrive at work on Monday morning with a surprise of my own.

Yet another weekend is passing me by. Maybe it is time for me to step out into the world once again. Perhaps not really to be part of it but at least be in the midst of it, going with the flow embracing hope which this festive season is all about afterall.

7 Days After.....

2007-12-20T23:27:00.000+08:00

Last night, I met up with some of my long time buddies. People whom I had not seen for a good 3 months or more. So much has happened in each of our lives. Taking different turns and towards different destinations although some seem to be heading towards a similar looking horizon.

Eugene's getting ROM-ed in about 2 weeks time and already has a flat in renovation. So does Hong Liang (aka Jesper) who has managed to be amongst the lucky 300 out of some 5000 hopefuls applying for a flat in Sengkang/Punggol region. Foong has popped the Golden Question to June and they're getting hitched too. Yong has a new beau from the Philipines and Foo's still leading his bohemian-like lifestyle though I may not be all too sure if it was a matter of choice.

I have been immersed in work as like I have grown so accustomed to. Heeding the advice of many perhaps, to put my career ahead of all else at this moment since there's not much else left. Had a craving a cold beer and was hoping a concoction of work and it can offer a worthy opiate to tide me through these times. Well I had my beer last night, 2 Heinekens to be exact but its still as you were to this point. Life goes on and there's a LONG Holiday weekend ahead to worry about. Grrrrr.....

Let This Day Be Remembered 13 DEC 2007

2007-12-14T02:15:00.000+08:00

As I pen this with a heavy heart, I'm not under any illusion that it will offer me reprieve nor do I expect reprisals. Though the scars sink deep, I want to mark this down in the annals of my life through the medium I have long struggled against to use, to bring forth my negative sentiments within. For too long I have lived and bothered about the feelings of others but yet there is none left for me.

I have sunk into seemingly a bottomless abyss but I will rise in time, rise and grow stronger, wiser than before. For I have learned.....on this day.....

Renaissance

2007-12-03T01:14:00.000+08:00

How many times has this been re-iterated.....

The weekend's over and I for one seem to relish this in stark contrary to the sentiments of the majority. So glad to finally see the back of yet another november that has proven to be such a nemesis in recent times.

Not that I revel in my current working environment but at least it offers enough distraction from the mortal troubles that beleaguer me. In the cold silence of the night, I'm still fresh from watching my Red heroes put in a professional performance (4-0) to dismantle a (sometime) bogey opponent in the form of Bolton Wanderers.

A timely reminder that hope exists as long as your heart has room for it. Some 2 years ago, I witnessed my heroes rise from the "dead" to be crowned champions of Europe, beating Mighty AC Milan after going 3-0 down at half-time. Back on the domestic front, sleeping giants as they are, Liverpool is finally coming good this season (thus far at least). They remained unbeaten going into December, with the consistency they lacked previously. They are gaining momentum to mount a serious title challenge absent for the past 18 seasons.

I should and I must shed that burden of my previous indiscretion. I WILL SURVIVE!

Somber November(s)

2007-11-27T22:56:00.000+08:00

There's something about the 11th month of the Gregorian Calendar that never fails to get to me. I'm almost certain that the stars seem to go into an alignment to invoke streaks of melancholy in me. So much so that perhaps it might just consume me in due time. I'll even dedicate and declare this month in honour of "Murphy" (Think about his famous law cum proverb) if its in my power ever to do so. Thank goodness this only lasts for 30 days each year......

As you may have already heard, the current resident song on my blog is the famous rock ballad by (one of my all-time favourite) rock group which by no coincidence has something to do with this month. Its always an apt reflection of the many inner struggles I go through. Everybody needs sometime, on their own....don't you know you need sometime, on your own.....
Listening to it seems to transcend time, taking me back to the many little episodes of my life associated with this month, spanning some 10 years.....

Such is the power of music, from the rhythms to the lyrics, there's always a song for an occasion, for us to find identity with. Musicians probably make excellent politicians with their ability to stir and evoke emotions. At least their words make more sense than some of the latter we know.

3 days and counting, let what had been be nothing but a passing shower but not a prelude to a torrential downpour......

Googling....

2007-11-27T00:21:00.000+08:00

First and foremost, you've got to pay homage to the developers of our modern day internet search engines. It sure is one feature which I have to admit I can't go without nowadays, from work to my leisure browsing in the comfy confines.

When I first began blogging, I tried to "google" for this domain of mine to no avail. All I could gather was rightfully information on common house pest which of course is synonymous with my other identity. Few months on, out of my idle impulse, I ran a search again and was finally presented with a pleasant surprise (which by now you would have guessed what it might be)

Anyway, many months back, I tried googling with the random thoughts in my mind such as my friends with different degrees of success. It is also then I found that there are other "David Chia(s)" out there. For the longest time I had thought that the combination of both my family name and my own has remained unique but I'm glad to have my myopic thoughts disproved. Now the challenge is to rise from relative obscurity......

Brown shoes.....

2007-11-25T21:56:00.000+08:00

Well, I bought my new working shoes.

Something different from the usual, comformative black leather shoes which I normally would be wearing and would be choosing. I actually got myself a pair of dark brown ones.

Maybe a welcomed changed can provide fresh rejuvenation of my current fortunes. Cheers! To a better tomorrow.

Half-Time Report Sunday 25 Nov

2007-11-25T13:48:00.000+08:00

I did something different this morning. I did not laze in my comfy bed until the sunrays starts to graze my candy a@#. Had a football game with my colleagues and their friends at ITE Balestier (West Campus). It didn't mattered that we suffered a 0-2 reverse, but I was pretty disappointed with my showing. Maybe I have not had a game for far too long, I was so off the pace and my performance littered with mistakes and in the end so badly as if I'm almost gonna get a cardiac arrest. Got work it this time, relive the days of thunder and start terrorising the flanks like yester years.

As of now, I'm seriously mulling over if I should make my way down somewhere or anywhere to get myself a new pair of working shoes. My current one has forsaken me and its time to move on.

By the way, I caught this on The Mr Brown Show and taught is worth sharing. I mean how often do you get government officals offering themselves on a platter, open for a free swipe and volleys of ridicule? You got to admire the courage on display by the senior management of the MDA but can't say the same for their wit and approach. If you enjoyed William Hung's rendition of Ricky Martin's smash hit "She Bangs", I'm sure you'll have a smashing good time now that there is a whole "platoon" of them on display.

Can't see this being an actually advertisement to promote the organisation. Maybe its actually some D&D segment meant for fun and laughter there and then but somehow got leaked out to the public much to the horror of the performers and the former alike. Guess this new batch of Singapore leaders are "different" indeed.

My verdict.... leave the song and dance to the professionals, they are paid astronomical amounts for a reason. Everyone aspired to be a pop/rock star once during their lifetime but how many really had the mettle and actually did. Just because you are in the elite tier of the community doesn't mean you can pull off just about every trick in the book.

Time to go get my shoes....

Restless Friday Night

2007-11-24T00:16:00.000+08:00

Funny it is, though physically and mentally drained, very much fatigued from a punishing work schedule during the week, my mind refuses to rest.

I yearn for a cold beer, my favourite choice of poison for the longest time but yet gather no strength or motivation to go out there and get one. Perhaps the catalyst is missing, something deep within is missing.

Time to sit back and take stock before pushing ahead. First I need a clear head and an iron will to go with an antiseptic dressing for the wounds I've been licking behind closed doors. 2 days is all I hope I take, any longer and alittle more of me inside dies and soon enough, there may not be much left to salvage.

Compromise

2007-11-23T00:56:00.000+08:00

In a nutshell, I wanted to write something about love and compromise but decided against it.

But the fact that I did write something just about relayed my sentiments. Thus rendering the above statement redundant....Grrrrr

I just needed an outlet, bear with me.....

Careers.....

2007-11-23T00:16:00.000+08:00

A job feeds you, a career inspires you, over do it and it consumes you. How often can one's career be his true calling? Who's calling anyway seriously. The answer is just about as lucid as which came first, the chicken or the egg.

Almost 6 months into this and I'm not the least bit closer to knowing myself more, career-wise that is. It seems its a negative co-relation between my work and my work satisfaction. I'm getting increasingly good at something which I don't really fancy. Moving on is an option but where to?

I'm in need of a fortune cookie. Who cares if the answer is hardly realistic and almost certainly positive. At least it won't disappoint me the least bit.

.....An irrelevant parting thought for the night. The new Spice Girl MTV for the track "Headlines" holds true to its meaning. Although it should be more aptly rephrased as "Controversy" for a more accurate protrayal. How else to describe 3 out of 5 woman in their 30s flaunting their "assets" with skimpy garments on TV, maybe scandalout?

Habits.....

2007-11-20T01:34:00.000+08:00

Blogging about my day in the midst of this unearthly hour yet again. This is fast becoming a habitual affair, one I think I should live without considering that I'm still trying to assimilated myself into the normal 9 to 5 crowd. Perhaps the problem lies with the fact that I don't really start at 9 nor do I end at 5 either.

19th November, my mummy dearest's birthday..... I got home real early for change and bought a little cake for her. When I said little, I really do mean little coz I know my mum won't want us to spend too much though I do believe that her actual sentiments are never reflected in her words. By no means is she being sarcastic or anything of that sort but instead she just wants the best for us as always and leaves none for herself. Back to the cake.....it's coffee, just the way she would want it. When I brought it home, I can tell she's happy, real happy that we remembered and I'm glad I brought her some joy. It was a simple gathering which I felt thoroughly happy about.

Straight after dinner, I bounced out of the house to search of a hairdresser. I figured a fresh look can really work some wonders into my otherwise mundane daily routine. What's wrong with us Hougang-ers? Why can't we get a decent haircut after 8pm? Every salon I had walked pass from the ones in my neighbourhood to Kovan are closed for the day, except for Jean Yip, Kimage and some wannabe Stylo-Mylo Jappo looking salon in Heartland Mall trying to pull off premium pricing. I for one never believed in paying for grossly over-priced hair work when I can get the same job done for half that amount and still have change for value meal upsized. Call me cheapskate, mock me for my tastelessness, detest for act or should I say inaction to put premium salon houses out of business.....

Eventually I had to settle for EC-House 10 minute express cut for "people on the move". Quite a welcomed notion for me, don't you think. Besides that's the only feasible alternative since everything else would mean getting it done only tomorrow. I went back to an old look, one which I had adopted before. Something real short, very different from my recent few. Initially I had wanted it closer to the look Justin Timberlake or Rob Thomas look but perhaps not. I can't take chances, if it turns out to be a disaster, I can just about throw in the towel and surrender for my current job requires me to at the very least look presentable.

And so it begins, as I walk back from Kovan, ramaging through whatever that's left from the once bushy and thick crop I do hope that all the past unpleasants are left behind and march onward ones more with renewed vigour, sincerely hoping this will not be another false dawn for I have always flattered to deceive.

Thoughts at 1am on a Monday Morning

2007-11-19T00:18:00.000+08:00

Its late by the standards of an average person. I should be well tucked into bed and heading into the rhapsody of lala-land. But its kinda early for me, considering I woke up at a whopping 3pm earlier which translates to me being awake for less than 11 hours!

However, I really should grab some shut-eye since I, just like the rest of the world need to be at work in another 7 hours time. But I can't seem to convince myself to......Something has to change but where and how can I begin?

A friend whom I have not heard from in a long to sms-ed me last night, relating some story illustrating there's a bright side to everything and good things could be so near to us, as long as we reach out for it.... Here's a news flash, some stories are nice to hear, a timely yet constant reminder of the facts of life we all already know but hardly applicable in reality in my opinion. Nonetheless, it was a simple act which echoed in significance. I thank you for your thoughtful message, be it a mass-forwarded copy or a personal one, it is sincerely heart felt by this bloke on the other side of the line.

Feeling Uninspired.....

2007-11-18T21:47:00.000+08:00

The weekends over and onto another 5 days of work.....

But seriously I dun really fancy another few "Saturday and Sundays" at this moment. I'll just waste them away like I just did. Spending my time sleeping and watching old vcds/dvds and hardly stepping out of the house. Going to work though aren't gonna lift my spirits either, either is a compromise and won't suffice for me right now.

So what do I really want? In all honesty, I dun know! I'm lacking that zest to zip about right now. Something is missing but I dun have a clue what is. At work, I feel like an atm machine for my bosses. I have to produce the money and be always available whenever, where-ever. And no one bothers about my well-being not untill I break down or seem to choke while dispensing.

A new challenge might revitalise that ailing spirit but what is? What can kick-start this stalling 27 year old to turn that elusive corner? Looking up in the heavens offers no reprieve much less an answer. It only takes a spark, to get the fire going.....will someone get me a matchstick or 2 stones at least?

Two and half hours.....

2007-11-17T01:05:00.000+08:00

Yup, that's how long I've been staring in my notebook, typing and back-spacing umpteen times....not knowing what to blog about and even now I still don't. Lotsa stuff I want to talk about but yet I can't seem to articulate at this moment.....

A telling reflection of a phase I'm going through perhaps. I'M LOST, plain and simple. What do you do when your life takes a step backwards and more but time does not follow suit but casts you way behind by seemingly quickening its pace, mocking your very bad fortune.

Let's see....I'm 27 already, my career life hasn't taken off, my personal life's a mess and I don't have a clue how to stable the ship and push forward. Put me in an empty room and I jusy might pick a fight with myself right now. Such is the resentment I feel about my current predicament....well, at least I have managed something for this entry and that's a pleasant change from the indecisions that bogged me earlier.