Aggressive Panhandler

Potential Hookup Ends in Stolen iPod

Andrew Dalton — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 16:00:32 +0000

A story of young love gone awry in the neighborhood: The Examiner reports one 21-year-old man attempted to bring home a new ladyfriend after chatting her up near Divis and McAllister on Tuesday. After successfully securing her digits — which I imagine were fake or this story would have a totally different ending — the young lady tagged along with the gentleman to his Panhandle-adjacent home.

While fumbling with his keys or whatever, our victim asked his potential new girlfriend to “hold his iPod” (not a euphemism), at which point she promptly took off with the Apple product. Truly a sad day for that kid’s mp3 collection and 21-year-old boners everywhere.

I’d bother trying to figure out which bar these two met at if I wasn’t still wondering why the poor guy didn’t just keep it in his pants. (The iPod, I mean. Doesn’t he have pockets?)

[SFEx]

And We’re Back…

Andrew Dalton — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 15:30:11 +0000

Former Mayor Gavin Newsom reassures former DPW Director Ed Reiskin that everything is going to be OK.

Back from the Internet netherworld where blogs go when they don’t pay their hosting bills, anyway. More to follow. Possibly.

Very Important Bi-Rite News of Great Importance (About Bi-Rite)

Andrew Dalton — Tue, 18 Jan 2011 16:30:03 +0000

Neighbor and fellow panhandler, Jon R. sent us the above photo of Bi-Rite’s new liquor license application.

After all the excitement back in June about notable Mission grocer and ~~creamery~~ ice cream store Bi-Rite opening a second location on Divisadero, it looks like the neighborhood is at least one step closer to the fancy picnic supply store becoming a reality – just a slightly different reality than we had imagined back then.

Originally, owner Sam Mogannam was planning to move in to the old Emblem Grocery at 736 Divisadero which has been closed long enough for people to not care about restoring its vintage 7-UP signage. Now, if we’re to believe the words on the above liquor license application, Bi-Rite will be taking over the inappropriately named Divisadero Farmer’s Market & Deli at 550 Divis. To clarify: Divisadero Farmer’s Market & Deli is neither a Farmer’s Market nor a Deli. It’s a convenience store with a terrible candy selection, questionable taste in chips and a complete lack of IT’s-ITs. If a farmer ever set foot in there, it was probably to buy a nip of Jim Beam for his coffee before he had to go sell pomegranates at the Sunday Farmer’s Market on Grove. What the space at 550 Divis does offer is a great deal of currently unused square footage and a hideous yellow storefront. (Bonus: slightly-less vintage 7-UP signage.)

To recap: quaint throwback grocer no longer moving in next to the typewriter-and-Edison-bulbs retailer. Instead retro-styled grocer will be moving in next to the communal-table-and-expensive-hamburger store:

Personally, we’ve only stopped in to Bi-Rite on 18th for a bottle of wine so we wouldn’t show up to a Mission housewarming party empty handed, but everyone there was very friendly and it seems like they could be a nice alternative to picking up picnic supplies at the perennially-overpriced Falletti Foods on Broderick. And Mr. Mogannam, if you’re listening: we’re totally OK if you want to call it “Divisadero Bi-Rite Market and Deli”, as long as you promise to install an actual deli counter. We need more cold cut options around here.

The Exasperated Sigh Heard ‘Round the Neighborhood

Andrew Dalton — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 21:59:32 +0000

I mean, already? Really?

Previously:

Adorable New Mural Going Up at the Harding Theater [AggPan]
Laser Cat Mural Vandalized! Outrage! [SFist]
And Here We Are: Divisadero Street Art Incident Explained
Lazer Cat Mural Succumbs to Hype [UptownAlmanac]
ad barfium…

Park Better, Neighbors

Andrew Dalton — Sun, 21 Nov 2010 19:13:31 +0000

Neighborhood reader Jeremy submitted some street poetry he spotted at Central and Fulton:

“UNIMPRESSED
W/ THIS PARKING
JOB
Share the Street Douchebag!”

It’s kind of lovely, really. Like Gertrude Stein for the San Francisco Bicycle Coalition. Bonus authenticity points for looking like it got run over a few times already.

Salsa Watch: Papalote Salsa Arrives in Stores Tuesday

Andrew Dalton — Sat, 20 Nov 2010 20:32:03 +0000

Yesterday, despite being a simple jar of spicy tomato sauce, Papalote Salsa managed to tweet an update to the salsa news that captivated a city of Foodies back in late August:

For those of you in the city who have been waiting ever-so-patiently for updates from the neighborhood taqueria, you will now be able to pick up a jar at Rainbow Grocery as soon as they let you in to the notoriously backed-up parking lot. (PRO-TIP: Just walk to either the Fulton Street or 24th Street Papalote locations where they’ve been selling it by the jar for years.) Further investigation of the twitter feed reveals it will also eventually be available at Whole Foods locations. Here’s the packaging, if you’re jar-curious:

If you’re unable to buy the salsa in person, you unfortunately won’t be able to order any online in time to spice up your Thanksgiving dinner – as the prophetic, tweeting salsa jar says online orders will begin starting December 1st, when you’ll be able to order through their redesigned website.

In the meantime, you can watch this video of a girl finishing a Triple Threat Burrito

Your New Lazer* Kitten Desktop Background

Andrew Dalton — Sat, 20 Nov 2010 00:19:06 +0000

Yesterday’s Lazer* Kitten Murals were a huge internet hit, apparently. In fact I’ve had a few requests for large resolution versions of the photo suitable for use as a desktop background. This site, like most good publications these days, operates in the red most of the time, so we have zero budget to upgrade our flickr account to Pro status which allows for more sizes and high-res photos. So, you could always *ahem* donate by collecting all the coins you found in your couch and paypal’ing that sum to to andrew [at] aggressivepanhandler.com, where I will promptly put it towards said flickr upgrade. (How’s that for some aggressive panhandling?)

You could do that or you could just click through the thumbnails below to get to the high-res version, both of them are 1920 pixels wide, and they’re formatted for widescreen monitors which I’m fairly certain are kind of standard these days. There’s the original:

And the letter box edition, in case you’d rather not see the dingy sidewalk in front of the Harding:

Download away until our servers start getting tapped out.

(*Usage Note: Lazers of this nature should be spelled with a “Z”, obviously. “Lasers” are for science experiments and pointing at things on a presentation screen. “Lazers”, in the meantime are for wreaking havoc and destroying entire cityscapes and make that fun “pew pew” noise.)

Art in Progress: Adorable New Mural Going Up at the Harding Theater

Andrew Dalton — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 21:56:54 +0000

Behold: A kitten shoots at the San Francisco skyline with lazer eyes or possibly spotlights while another kitten pounces on a multi-colored dragonfly and a third kitten peeks out from below. Or just “that cat painting on Divis,” if you like. I don’t know, the artists I spoke to hadn’t named it yet, but it’s part of that Murals on Divis initiative that got bandied about at the last NOPNA meeting. Anyway, I’m in to it. It’s still a work in progress, but looks like it’ll get done by the afternoon. More photos later when the afternoon sun lights up this little beauty. UPDATE: It’s done! Now with 100% less crappy photos.

Painting is dead, long live painting!

Meet Your Alamo Square Neighbors at Madrone Tuesday Night

Andrew Dalton — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 20:15:37 +0000

From the amazing wire service known as “the Facebook” comes this invite to meet your Alamo Square-area neighbors at a Drinks Around Alamo Square Event on Tuesday, November 9th. The event obviously takes place during Madrone’s Happy Hour from 5:30 – 7:30pm, which makes it very easy for us to attend, but you should probably come too, because we’re neighbors and we like you. Although this different from our normal nights at Madrone because we will probably be expected to maintain at least the slightest hint of sobriety. Expect the Spikesville Whiskey to start flowing a little harder around 8pm then.

RSVP on Facebook if you’re coming. Or don’t. It’s not like it’s a fancy club night or anything.

Neighborhood Reaction to the Giants in the World Series

Andrew Dalton — Sun, 24 Oct 2010 05:30:25 +0000

Jon here says, “I want to be blogged.” Luckily, he’s a 5 year resident of the neighborhood so, here you go: the neighborhood’s reaction to a Giants win and a trip to the World Series. Pretend it’s orange-tinted.