Aghastronome in Houston

Burger Love: The Refinery Burgers & Whiskey

2013-06-01T15:49:00.002-05:00

The Refinery Burgers & Whiskey, sounds like a dream come true. If only it were. I met a few friends there for dinner and drinks about a month or so ago. I had heard that the burgers were fantastic, as had one of my friends, so we popped in to catch up and get our burger on. The place is pretty cool, but, I am sorta put off by the tables with little metal troughs built into the center. Good concept for mud bugs, or for icing down all your beers, not a good concept when you want to put the chips and queso in the middle of the table to share.

Ambiance is great, the space is open and has an upscale industrial feel. The restrooms have chalkboard paint stalls, which are loaded with chalky bathroom writings. I find this a great concept, but, the stalls are somewhat narrow, so, if you are packing some junk in your trunk and wearing black, you may have pastel smudges on your pants or skirt when you leave. This is, of course, for women who got big butts, and cannot lie.

Service was slow and disorganized. Our waitress took quite some time to notice that I joined the party. Once I got a beer menu and ordered a pint, it took about ten to fifteen minutes to get my beer. This would have been just fine, had they been crowded, but, alas that was not the case. We had a decent wait time for everything we needed or wanted. By decent, I mean, not exactly prompt service. And no, I do not expect waitstaff to dart around manically to be as fast as possible. Just don't sidetrack into a conversation with your coworkers when you should be doing your job. That's all I ask. LOOK, a squirrel...yeah, like that.

We ordered chips and queso for the table, and it was lukewarm and rather flavorless. The chips were nice, however. I won't swear they were house made, but, they seemed to be. For $2.95, I suppose one cannot expect magic. The soon-to-be-husband of my friend ordered mayo to dip his fries in (he's not a ketchup guy) and we all had burgers. I chose the Red Adair, which is a bacon cheeseburger (sharp cheddar, jalapenos and applewood bacon) and chose the pretzel bun. The other bun choice is the "sheila" which is a sweet bun. When our burgers arrived, some sooner, some later...they had no condiments. Ketchup and mustard are on the table in six-pack holders, along with salt and pepper and a glass which normally contains knives. We requested mayo, and that took over 5 minutes to receive. Burger. Now. Cold. (And dry, and just not "all that"). Then...no weapons to cut them in half....another few minutes.

Overall, the burgers have potential, however, mine was dry-ish, even cooked medium. The cheese was very thin sliced (think the "lower calorie" grocery store bought kind) and the bacon was also thin. The cheese on my burger was slightly wilted from a wee touch of warmth, not melted. Sigh. Really? There was a nice amount of jalapeno, giving the burger a bit of heat. The fries were passable, but, not crisp and not hot and freshly fried and of the frozen variety. My initial response was "eh, if someone insists, I won't balk at returning - however, there are far better options for burgers in this town". Then, the bill arrived.

We were billed fifty cents each for two 2 oz plastic condiment cups with about a tablespoon of mayonnaise in each. We got one extra container for free - I won't be back just so I don't get hit with that charge, in case someone notes I skated without paying my fiddy cents. Was it ridiculous? Not especially, until you start doing the math for a quart jar at the store, much less the cost of a restaurant-sized container of the stuff. Had it been made in house, or flavored exotically, I would not have been so offended. Well, yes, I would have. The burger I had was $10, and the fries $2.95. That clinches it for me, not going back. If you are going to bill yourself as a burger joint, don't charge for condiments, especially those that are prepackaged. A "basket" option, you know bundled services, slighly less than full on a la carte, would be nice.

Lastly, two of us used credit cards - one of us had their card run twice, and one, not at all. So, E, I owe you $42 for my share of the meal. We divide the bill by number of people, we don't bust out calculators. The money all works out over many outings.

Bottom Line: There needs to be some improvement, for the price, both in service and in quality. You can't sling a proverbial dead cat in the Montrose/Mid-Town area of Houston without hitting a decent burger joint. Let's see your A game Refinery. Red Adair pioneered Well Blowout Firefighting, honor his name with some habanero or other such mayonnaise, or hot mustard, at the very least, a super juicy, hot off the fire, patty with thick bacon and melted sharp cheese. The pretzel bun was tender and worked well, ya got that going for ya.

P.S. I see you serve a Fried Bologna Sandwich, old school white bread and mayo. You just well may have taunted me into a second trip. Growing up, I just loved them, now, I won't buy a whole package of bologna for one sandwich. Put the potted meat product in the blue tin with the bright yellow lettering, made famous in WWII, and practically revered in Hawaii, on the menu, in a sandwich, and I will be back.

Busted News - Too Broke to Fix.

2013-05-17T13:33:00.001-05:00

Today's headline in The Chronicle's "Fuel Fix" section is, well, retarded good. Or, retarded.

"Feds predict Texas will get hot, Texans will run ACs."

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR ~~you're letting my damn a/c out...~~

What? Don't believe me? Czech this out!

How many tax dollars were spent to study Texas Summer Heat? Hell, just ask one of the newest Texans that recently arrived for work. Especially the rookie roughnecks in the Eagle Ford Shale - chat one up in August. Dare ya.

There is your daily chuckle, ya'll.

Now, I'll start writing here again.

Home Cookin': Strawberry Ice Cream

2012-08-28T14:50:00.000-05:00

While not big on desserts, I hanker at times for certain things. Most of the sweet ones are remembrances from my childhood. Summer extended family barbecues cooked on the huge rock pit my Dad had built in our back yard. These involved goat, brisket, pork, chicken, our homemade venison and pork sausage - you name it. Sides galore: potato salad, green salad, macaroni and cheese, warm bread, and several fresh picked and cooked vegetables from our garden. While the adults cooked, the kids cranked ice cream. We made peach, or peppermint (with crushed hard candy mints) and sometimes, strawberry. Today, I made strawberry. While not an old family recipe, this one's simple and works in my electric ice cream machine. I have tried several and like the Cuisinart model, myself. Here's the scoop (ouch):

Strawberry Ice Cream

1 cup half and half, or whole milk, or really, 2% milk - I went all high fat
2 cups whipping cream
3/4 cup sugar (bump to a cup, if you like sweeter)
pinch of salt
1 teaspoon good vanilla
1 pint strawberries, hulled and processed/blended until slightly chunky

Mix everything but the berries in a bowl, pour into frozen machine insert and begin "churning", after about ten minutes you should see some crystals forming. Pour berry slurry in the top and continue watching until ice cream thickens. Pour into an airtight freezer container and freeze until firm.

This works with anything you dream of using, peaches, mints, shaved chocolate, crushed thin mint style cookies peddled by young girls in green outfits. Small chunks of homemade mexican brownies...

Home Cookin': Portuguese Caldo Verde

2012-02-20T14:55:00.001-06:00

Today, I decided to whip up a delicious Portuguese soup and I gave it a wee twist. If you're Portuguese, I bastardized it. I used Mexican longaniza instead of linguisa, as I found it on sale at my local grocer. The end result was fantastic.

Caldo Verde

2 lbs russet potatoes, peeled and diced
1 medium onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, smashed and minced
32 oz low sodium chicken broth
10 oz Mexican longaniza (or linguisa or hot Italian sausage)
1 lb kale, stemmed and finely chopped
Salt and pepper
2 Tbsp olive oil

In a Dutch oven, heat the oil, add the onion and sweat it down for about 6 - 10 minutes over medium heat. Add the garlic and sauté for another two minutes. Pour in broth and potatoes and boil for 15 minutes, or the potatoes are tender. Slice the sausage into bite sized pieces, brown and drain well. Use an immersion blender to purée the potato portion and add the sausage. Once the soup reaches a boil, add the kale and continue at a low boil for 3 - 5 minutes until kale is tender. Test for salt and pepper, serve with a drizzle of good olive oil. This would be a great meal with a salad and some crusty buttered bread. I slip some cayenne in at the end, as I like it hot!

Give it a try, it's inexpensive and kale is in season. Delightful on a cool drizzly day.

Opens and Shuts: W Gray Cafe? Not verified

2012-02-15T13:26:00.000-06:00

I heard some scuttlebutt that the W Gray Cafe was shut by the Health Department, or something like that. It's hearsay, perhaps third hand, anybody care enough to confirm, or at least set me straight here?

On the Follow: Biba's KitBar

2012-02-15T13:10:00.000-06:00

Well kids, four times I have had their breakfast. Now, I quoth the raven. Nevermore. I find that I like Lankford Grocery and Harry's much better for the price and consistency. I tried, I really did. I tried to love them much harder than a three year old tries to love brussels sprouts. No. Can. Do. If I'm feeling particularly "in the chips", or there happens to be an interminable line everywhere I turn....maybe. I mean seriously maybe. They are too inconsistent, even the sausage patties are different every time. Once, the cheese in my omelet had that musky "I'm not feeling so fresh" taste. Maybe with Late Nite Pie succumbing to fire, they will get some two a.m. "I'm loaded, I'll eat what doesn't bite me first" crowd.

Stick a spork in me...I'm done.

Breaking My Fast: Bibas KitBar

2011-12-16T15:11:00.000-06:00

So, I told you back in October about overhearing all about the new menu, from the new owner. And, I told you it sounded de-luscious and country and I gotta go get me some of that. Well, I did so, twice. The old "Bibas" is now "Bibas KitBar" and I am not a fan of the new name. Partially, on account of the failure to shed the "Bibas" part. It seems less like a whole new venture and more like the old one is trying to reinvent itself but, is scared to cut the apron strings completely. What the hell is a kitbar? From the Urban Dictionary: A douchebag, a whore, also used when talking about backstabbing, nasty boyfriend stealing bitches. Hey, it's the only definition or explanation of a kit bar I could locate. Gastropub, I can reasonably infer what that is. Kitbar, I cannot get past infant fox place to drink, and that makes zero sense.

A group of us likes to drink across the street, we note the cars, or lack thereof. We wonder why people, in large groups are leaving the hair salon, which has had the lights off for a couple hours. These conversations occur because we're betting whether or not they are customers. They mostly are not. I have only had breakfast on both occasions, so I cannot speak to the rest of the menu. Also, I'm not repeating hearsay, this ain't yelp, so who cares what my friends have to allow about their experiences. I may, you don't.

Breakfast on the first trip: I ordered the country benedict and my dining companion ordered an omelet with ham, onion, cheese, mushroom and tomato. Choice of potatoes? Crispy homestyle was chosen over the country potatoes. A plate lands in front of me and it's amiss. Then, I am told "oh, we forgot your crab"....for the country benedict? It's supposed to be one biscuit, divided, each half topped with a pork chop, poached egg, country gravy and cheddar. What I got was a new creation, entirely. English muffin, pork chop, egg and etouffee, with a belated thing of crabmeat. I did have a bite, as I was starving and they were remaking my order - it was weird. The omelet my companion had was a fat stuffed cheesy thing, with country potatoes, which were not the ones ordered. My order comes out correct, wrong potatoes. Delicious potatoes, but, not what I ordered. The country benedict, done right was pretty good, but the gravy was "off" it was lackluster and thin.

Breakfast on the second trip: I ordered the omelet just like my dining companion got the first time and my friend ordered two eggs sunny that came with black beans. To be completely honest, I forgot what he ordered because I was focused on my order. The omelet - not fat and stuffed but thin and meager. The ham was a tiny dice and about as prevalent as hens teeth, as were the rest of the ingredients. I think a teaspoon each went into that omelet, the cheese on top was plentiful. The potatoes...wrong again. The sunny eggs my friend got had runny whites (but, I find no one cooks a medium egg properly, so you have to go sunny and hope for the best) and the beans were denounced as mediocre at best.

I will go a third time, mostly because I am dying to see if the elusive crispy breakfast potato side exists, or if it is a freaking misprint. Overall, with breakfasts running around $8-$9 and with the West Gray Cafe down the street doing the same, better for less dinero....you get the picture. The third time will be the charm, I'll either decide to go regularly or go not at all unless someone else insists.

Shut: Souper Salad in River Oaks

2011-12-16T14:30:00.001-06:00

I was just having a nice cell phone conversation with a dear friend, about anything but food. Apparently, he was driving for a late lunch, as he advised me that the above referenced establishment and location is closed. They have a "Thanks for the business" sign up. I did my best to find him another salad bar, that might also sport soup and some cornbread, to no avail. As we began to lament the sheer lack of salad bars (I guess they are scarce and perhaps passe - but, I love being able to make my own salad with spinach, canned beet cubes and cottage cheese and then glop some skroodle salad on the side), he said the best thing ever. I don't think he realized it, but, he did. And it paraphrases something like this, "How the hell, in the third largest city in America, is it that a grown man cannot find a single decent salad bar inside the loop."

I bet he eats quiche too, on account of he's a real man, and he just wants to pile all the onions he can stand on a bed of greens and top it all with some dressing and cheese. Me, I like the beets and green peas, myself. I don't care if sneeze guards are so a couple decades ago - I'm with him on this, I want a salad bar, with soups and corn bread. While you're at it, tell me where a Steak N'Ale is, I loved their french onion soup.

Food PSA: Fertitta buying Morton's Restaurant Group Inc.

2011-12-16T09:49:00.000-06:00

So, he who likes food as much as I, and shares my complete lack of infatuation with the Landry's group and it's illustrious CEO sent me this here article this morning. Fortunately, I'd already eaten my kolache or I would not have broken my fast yet. So, it appears that the transaction will close in February, 2012 with Morton's selling ~~it's soul~~ for $6.90/share, or $117 million, which is 34% more than the shares were trading. Take note, if you want something, you gotta pony up for it.

What this leads me to believe, if I follow my logic, is that people are flocking to these chain restaurants. *Sigh*. Okay, this is simple really - follow me. "The Protester" is Time Magazine's "Person of the Year" (I am grappling with the concept, it's sorta like giving the Nobel Peace Prize to Pol Pot - and the announcement has resulted in a lot of people laying claim to being the basis for the decision). Where was I? Yes, here - so, effectively protesting can work (why do I have visions of Greek persons hurling rocks?). Given that protesting doth work, and given that I'm not the only one that is not his biggest fan, if people put their money where their mouth is and eat local, we can make a difference (and I still caveat the whole shebang with my liking Vic & Anthony's and feeling dirty about it). Or, you can keep running food down your neck from McLandry's. Really, it is your choice, as a consumer.

December a, 2011: National 3.14 Day (That's Pie, Fools)

2011-12-01T09:21:00.000-06:00

Today....National Pie Day! I know, right after Thanksgiving, the holiday during which pumpkin and pecan pies are for dessert, second breakfast, high tea and a before bed snack. However, National Pie Day is a time for indulging in sweet or savory pies. So, whether it's a fast food pot pie, shepherd's pie, or apple pie - go forth and get thy pie on.

Houston Area Pie Joints

- any local diner/cafe/pub in your general vicinity
- Oh My Pocket Pies (food truck, seek 'em out)
- House of Pies
- Flying Saucer
- your local bakery, nooooo, not the grocery store chain one, the family-owned one near your residence

And many, many more. You have a favorite crust-encased hand held place I have missed? Yeah, I am thinking "empanada", but, that ain't pie peeps....

Food PSA: Fertitta Finally Purchases McCormick & Schmick's

2011-11-08T10:48:00.003-06:00

Not really "good news", I'm really no fan of the Fertitta Empire. Back in March, Landry's (Fertittaville) offered Mc &Smick $9.25/share or $137 million for the restaurant chain. That buys 80 restaurants in 26 states with an estimated $300 million annual net revenue (per the Houston Chronicle). SOOO, chain, chain, chain......of dining fools. I know there are smallish towns where just such chains are considered the nicest place to dine (I was reared near one). I know, there are Landry/Fertitta groupies out there. I'm not one of them.

Oh well, we should all "SLGT" and find the small restauranteur in the little, unique and un-franchised joint and give him or her the business. Occupy Food Street, refuse the megalomonsters - eat local, or watch local businesses die.

Rant Over.

Food PSA: Winds of Change @ Bibas

2011-10-05T15:22:00.002-05:00

I was out having a few drinks on W. Gray, when in walked a sizable dude in a chef coat. He was chatting us up about the Bibas across the street, and how he had purchased it. There are, from what I gathered some really impressive changes afoot over there. Many of you know all about the beleaguered location and it's three year hiatus from normal operations, following Hurricane Ike. It has been remodeled, including a fancy new parking lot and opened briefly a couple of months ago. The rumor mill has it that the Bibas/Ones a Meal empire divided, with OaM opening on lower Westheimer and Bibas struggling open later on W. Gray. Then, after it slunk open, it shut not long after. The OaM owner re-opened it, and has now sold it to the aforementioned dude. Or so the rumors would have me believe. Now, there appears to be big change on lower W. Gray, as the menu is beginning to morph into something completely different. Beginning, allegedly, this weekend, the breakfast menu will be overhauled. I overheard things like a scratch biscuit, topped with a pork chop and country gravy and then something about crawfish, brown butter and crab. It sounds like an upscale, yet down-home diner is in the works. The full menu should be out by next weekend. I also heard that the grand opening and brave new name should, should be hitting Houston around the 21st of October. I will have to give it a whirl, soon. Sounded so good, I had to quit listening as I had just enough to drink to make a Taco Hell drive-thru run. NOTHING good ever comes of that...and I do mean nothing. Don't take me at my overheard word, head on over there this weekend and see what's for breakfast. Who knows, could be a very pleasant and gravy addled surprise.

Food PSA: Crabs...Again (The Good Kind)

2011-09-29T14:29:00.002-05:00

Yup....once again, they've "got the crabs" at Pico's....softies, ahoy.

This is some seriously great gastronomic news. If you like soft shell crabs, you absolutely must go to Pico's Mex-Mex, RIGHT NOW! Pico's fixes some of the best soft shells I have ever tasted. From fresh and live, right off of the plane, to lightly floured and pan-fried al mojo de ajo (in garlic and olive oil) they are perfect, succulent and juicy.

I do suggest you make tracks to Pico's quickly, as these luscious pretties will not last long. The best soft shell crab in Houston, they are highly sought after, some customers request a special phone call when they are available. Market price.

Pico's Mex-Mex
5941 Bellaire Blvd.
713.662.8383

Have a shaker margarita while you're there - try not to roll your eyes or make your "O" face, I double dog dare you.

Missing Peanut and a Few Bad Weeks

2011-09-02T13:43:00.001-05:00

About a month ago, I sent a blog post by Bellwether Vance over at Open Salon to my friend and fellow pet-lover and sometimes doggie foster mom. It was a wonderful article, sprinkled liberally with humor and heartbreak. Mostly it's about closing one of your personal tubes on the interwebs with a password containing the name of your pet. And the loss of the said best friend. My pomeranian, "Peanut", lovingly nicknamed "Turd" because he shat on an ice house picnic table when he was six months old, is now resting peacefully, in a little wooden box, in my living room. I won't be participating in some mental self-flagellation and have changed all passords to the name of my ex, Sneaky McCheaterson (there's a joke in there people). I think he did the hokey pokey with half of Harris County - seriously.

Losing that super loving, yet totally incontinent dog has been difficult. He was no prince, he urinated on everything left on the floor, pooped on all bath and door mats and had a genetic cough. I rescued him from a purported trip to the pound, or that lady fibbed about dumping him, when he was six months old. At two, the vet told me he had a collapsing trachea from in-breeding or "puppy mill" genetic coughing stuff. Said coughing was normally really bad in the early morning, or whenever I wanted to sleep. Sounds like he was a total pain, and he was. But, he loved me with all his little heart and I lovd him right back. Just as much.

Speaking of love, he had a girlfriend - File Gumbo, my little girl cat. He would hump her furiously, and mostly when I had company he could show off for. When she died suddenly, in the living room, I wrapped her in a towel. He nudged it back and sat next to her. That little boy was five pounds of personality plus.

I won't say much about his refusal to eat, the trips to the vet, the testing. I won't mention in detail all of the foods I tried to get him to eat, the droppers full of pedialyte unflavored. I will say, I tried and my vet tried. But in the end, I made the toughtest choice we make as pet owners and let him go with dignity. Hopefully, with no, or minimal suffering. My brother offered up a 21 "Gak" salute, to honor him and his quack-like cough. I still listen for him, but, that's all part of grief. Fortunately, I have Libby, my PitMix Princess and a cat I purchased at a rodeo benefit - who puts a kitten in a silent auction? They keep me company.

Now, I am going to be playing the lottery, on account of I'm due a little something "good".

Soft Shell Alert: Pico's Mex-Mex

2011-09-02T08:24:00.000-05:00

Yes, I will probably copy and paste this post every time they have a new shipment of fresh softies. Yes, they are the best ever. Consider yourself informed.

This is some seriously great gastronomic news. If you like soft shell crabs, you absolutely must go to Pico's Mex-Mex, RIGHT NOW! Pico's fixes some of the best soft shells I have ever tasted. From fresh and live, right off of the plane, to lightly floured and pan-fried al mojo de ajo (in garlic and olive oil) they are perfect, succulent and juicy.

I do suggest you make tracks to Pico's quickly, as these luscious pretties will not last long. The best soft shell crab in Houston, they are highly sought after, some customers request a special phone call when they are available. Market price.

Pico's Mex-Mex
5941 Bellaire Blvd.
713.662.8383

Sexy Sandwiches: El Super Cubano @ Cafe Piquet

2011-07-29T13:09:00.000-05:00

El Super Cubano - Cafe Piquet

I was first introduced to Cafe Piquet during the Elián González fracas, they made the local news with protests against sending him to Cuba. It still took me years to make my way there (it's every bit of 1.5 miles from my residence). I have since had quite a few items on their menu. My favorite lunch item is El Super Cubano. I have been on a bit of a Cuban Sandwich mission lately. I find this to be the best in town, so far. Yes, I tried El Rey - and yes, I am open to suggestions.

I have a couple of favorite sandwiches, one of which is the "Reuben", the other is the "Cuban". Cafe Piquet offers both El Cuban and El Super Cuban. When in doubt, super size me, hurry. El Super comes with Mariquitas (plaintain chips) con Mojo, or, you can ask nice and get the Yuca Frita. Construction-wise, both sandwiches are the same, just the El Super is a one and one-half sandwiches. The bread is crisp, chewy and warm from being pressed. The sandwich boasts a decent quantity of good quality sliced ham and swiss with the perfect amont of pierna (house-roasted pork) to round out the flavors.

My only complaint, I only had three pickle slices - I love pickles, and on a 16" sandwich, I would have liked about, 8 or 9. I need a crunch in every bite, I think. Honestly, the thought of pickles vanished and my focus honed in on the sandwich itself. Priced at $11.95, this seems a little on the steep side, but, for the quality of ingredients and the sheer size of it all, it's a great deal. It was two meals, easily. My total bill, including a beer and tip was around $20. Good food, good company and a second meal - worth every penny.

The service at Cafe Piquet is friendly and accomodating. In the many times I've been, I have never had a complaint, about anything, at all. This could be partially due to the house Sangria, which, with the demise of Tio Pepe, is the best I have found. It's available by the glass or pitcher, but, don't order a pitcher for yourself - they'll have to pour you into a taxi. There's a lovely warm depth from the fruit and spices without any hint of "alcohol bite", or that super cheap wine aftertaste.

Cafe Piquet

5757 Bissonnet

Bellaire, TX 77401

713.664.1031

Mon - Thurs: 11 AM - 9 PM

Fri - Sat: 11 AM - 10 PM

Sun: 11 AM - 7 PM

Here's a link to their full menu.

Bottom Line: Best Cuban food in Houston, that I have found so far. Excellent service, moderate prices and comfortable decor. If you find yourself on the Southwest Side, or shopping Meyerland Plaza, drive on over. I promise you won't regret it. The Ropa Vieja is outstanding, in fact, I have never had a bad meal here. Ever.

So, you have a sandwich you think is sexy? Tell me about it. I'll try anything....once.

What Price Food Blogging? Jail?

2011-06-24T15:00:00.001-05:00

A Taiwanese food blogger was ordered to 30 days in the ole pokey, fined $6,900 to compensate the restaurant, and two years of probation. All for saying a restaurants noodles were too salty and complaining about the presence of cockroaches and how overbearing ("bully") the owner was. A court said she exceeded reasonable bounds?

Let's remember kids, our reviews should be fair and balanced (okay, honest) and we should post pictures. I normally don't, but, that's mainly so I am not picked out as one of those "crazy foodies". I'd prefer to dine anonymously, on my own dime (you can assist with that, it won't hurt my feelings), and post a write up that should mirror the service and quality of product that "everyman" can expect. Please do not put me in the clink, if your food sucks, I am going to let you know. Crappy service, yes, I'll say something for the world to read (or about 11 readers). I'll find something nice to say to offset my not nice thing(s) to say....."sweet glass tiles", or "nice paper lamp thingies". Or, killer crudite.....(how do you eff that up? srsly?).

Home Cookin': Avocado Bacon Potato Salad

2011-06-21T15:15:00.000-05:00

This recipe is probably the last one you'll ever need, and the one you only make a couple of times a year. You know, for special occasions when the entire family gets together. This is retarded delicious and rather, um, not low calorie. I just made a batch last night (I'll finish it off with the avocado tonight, before I tote it to a fish fry) and plan to bamboozle my friends with it. The only thing I can think of that may improve your results would be homemade mayonnaise, with a touch of lime juice rather than lemon and a healthy shake of cayenne powder. This is not the easiest on your wallet, either, however, if you play your cards right, it's not too expensive (like, eschew the $3 per each organic, hand-coddled avocados and get the $0.99 each ones).

I received the recipe from one of my older brothers, in advance of our Easter family barbecue and ham feast. I volunteered to make the potato salad, to which I was emailed, "You need to make THIS one". None of us had ever tried it, now my entire (large) family possesses the recipe. Well, except my sister who's always on some carcass reducing food plan of sorts. Me, I am fat and sassy - all systems normal. I like eating, I don't like eating rice cakes. I'll buy the bigger pants, whatevs. At any rate, you simply must, must attempt this at home, I promise that you will make your "O" face. It is carbohydrate crack.....for real.

Avocado Bacon Potato Salad

5 lbs red potatoes, cut into 1/2 inch chunks
12 strips of thick-sliced pepper bacon (I just used the whole 1 lb pkg, what the hell)
1 bunch of cilantro, stemmed and chopped
2 cups mayonnaise, plus more if needed
1 Tbsp Tabasco course ground mustard (or dijon plus hot sauce)
5 - 6 medium avocados
1 head of garlic, roasted - you can use 2 Tbsp of jarred roasted garlic, if you're a cheater
2 bunches green onions, chopped
1/3 red onion, diced
2-3 jalapenos or serranos, seeded, deveined and finely diced
2-3 limes
salt & pepper to taste

Put the garlic in the oven to roast. Prep potatoes and place in a stock pot with about 2 Tbsp salt and water to cover, begin boiling. Note: I use a "pasta insert" to make draining much simpler. Just raise the insert and perch inside the pot to drain. Cook bacon until crisp and drain. Crumble bacon when cooled. Dice the avocado and squirt with lime juice, sprinkle with 1/4 of the cilantro and season with some salt. Gently fold, cover and refrigerate.

Keep an eye on the potatoes, they should only take 15 minutes or so. Taste one for doneness, if they are tender-ish, drain, they will cook a bit more. Don't let them go to mush on you. Cool potatoes. A great idea is to cook the potatoes the day before, and refrigerate them until you're ready, if you have time.

Dressing: combine roasted garlic (squeeze out of skins), mayonnaise and mustard. Stir well and store in the refrigerator.

In a large bowl, place the cooled potatoes, crumbled bacon, onions (both kinds), cilantro and peppers. Add the dressing and fold gently until all of the potatoes are well-coated. Gently stir in avocado.

Test for seasoning and serve. I like to make the whole shebang a day ahead and let it marry in the refrigerator, prepping and adding the avocaco right before serving so it's not brown and nastified.

This would be fantastic with your Independence Day feast. It goes well with burgers, hot dogs, barbecue, grilled chicken. Really...anything you want to serve it with. Just not "these", for the love of Mike.

P.S. My Doll Hairs for Dining button works now, just saying.

Opens and Shuts: June 15, 2011

2011-06-15T09:12:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I know, I am busy at work....like a three-legged cat with a weak constitution, busy. Writing breaks are necessary, now that I'm getting a routine, or have honed my juggling act to optimize my time and not bust my company dreadlines. So, now I hope to be more regular at posting, hope. I make no promises. Here's who's out and who's on the horizon in the world of Houston food:

The Joe's Crab Shack at Pier 19, which Hurricane Ike had his way with, has reopened as of Monday. News? Yes. Exciting? No. I call this chain, "Joe's Crap Shack", not worth the time, nor the money. I think I'd hit Red Lobster first, if I just couldn't find a local seafood slinging joint, to save my soul.

King Biscuit, the Heights icon on White Oak @ Beauchamp was rumoured to be a new venture for Ms. Fitzgerald, prior owner of Fitzgerald's. Now, Swamplot says it's listed as "For Sale or Lease".

The 11th Street Cafe (which I found mediocre, homestyle, but, mediocre) has shut and will re-open on Saturday as Ruggles 11th Street Cafe. Ruggles. Now that is some exciting news. I have loved Ruggles and everything they stand for, since, forever. I also love that the new locations are not just a rote reiteration of an existing location - they are a new food concept or have a "twist".

Hogg's n' Chicks now has two locations in Missouri City. They serve up fare that's "Southern Fried with a French Twist". Folks, this is a serious restaurant, even if the name almost implies "titties", perhaps that's just what sprang to my mind. I have an aversion to bad food that draws a crowd solely for the half nekkid women. Hell, I have an aversion to bad food, period.

Headed to San Leon? The waterfront spot that was Judges Bar & Grill is, as of last Friday, Bubba's Shrimp Palace. I have no opinion, I normally make that drive to hit Topwater Grill or Gilhooley's. I smell road trip.

The Heights has a flurry of activity going on - Christian's Tailgate opened last weekend and is pitching a Grand Opening this Friday. New location location is found at 2820 White Oak. I seem to recall they are in the same spot as a very sorely missed barbecue joint. I could be incorrect.

Casa Dominguez, one of my regular Sunday Tex-Mex haunts should be open or opening soon in the old Tio Pepe on Cedar. I miss Tio Pepe, best lamb shank and sangria anywhere. I am looking forward to CD opening, I really like their queso and that you can substitute white cheese for american cheese. The Rollitos are delicious too.

You have some food news I missed? Hit me up in the comments or fire off an e-mail.

Burger Love: Hubcap Grill (Finally)

2011-06-14T14:17:00.003-05:00

Things in my world went from busy to holy shat approximately 6 weeks ago. Now, I'm an office of one, with a supervisor and there's no slow time or vacation in my line of sight. Why the supervisory person - I require adult supervision, as anyone who knows me, knows. At any rate, I found myself with a summons for noon jury doody, on Congress, awhile back. Holy hamburgers, fatgirl, that's right proximate to Hubcap Grill! Bonus. So, I in my frumpalicious business attire, waddled a few blocks over and anxiously awaited the unlocking of the door. Here's what I make of the Hubcap Grill's Bacon Cheeseburger. Note: I always get a bacon cheese concoction when opining about burgers, or the closest proximity thereto. How the hell do you compare otherwise? Really? Same basic premise, different basic joint = fair assessment of who's got the better product.

The inside of the place is very small, and just reeks of burgers (one deep breath and the diet is all the way off). With such limited seating, one really should not be a jackass and sit at a table that can accomodate more people, than, say oneself. Which I did...One girl, one two-top; in my defense, I was early and did not dillydally. Here's how the burger and fries break down: The burger is served on a fresh ciabatta bun, with all of the standard ingredients. The bacon is thick-sliced and crisp, the meat was properly cooked to order. The veggies were fresh and crisp. Overall, the burger was delicious, hot fresh, with gently melted cheese and a fabulous amount of ooze/drippage. And that's what caused me pause. The bun. The overall juiciness. They scrap with one another about 2/3 of the way through the burger. The last few bites, my soft, perfect ciabatta morphed into a soggy and disintigrating thing. Caveat that: I was not leisurely gnoshing, I consumed it - doody of the jury variety and my need for timeliness resulted in fast mastication. The fries were extremely good, crispy, nicely seasoned and really, unless you just like to slurp up the ketchup, it's not necessary.

One word of caution, for the unititiated - bring either cash or a debit card. They do not accept plastic monies, but, do provide a cash machine for your use. Oh, and make sure you are hungry, and not feeling all "dainty", it's big, juicy meat. As we all know, you cannot have your pudding, if you don't eat your meat. (ouch).

Bottom Line: Good value for the money, excellent burger and fries. The bun was the issue for me. That being said, it may have been an isolated instance. I will definitely go back, when I am in the area. ~~Further, I would suggest you hit their food truck~~ (buscept, I hear that it is no mas - apparently, some food trucks offer more trouble than they are worth). SO, drive your arse downtown and try one on. Hopefully, the Heights location, is still forthcoming. If you haven't tried Hubcap Grill, you should. Now that I've done my standard, I'll be venturing to the Philly Steak burger (what a delicious hot mess that looks like).

News Flash: The Fertitta Empire Did Not Expand

2011-04-21T13:51:00.000-05:00

As reported by the Houston Chronicle, McCormick & Schmick's Seafood Restaurants has rejected Tilman Fertitta's acquisition offer. Spurned, but, nowhere close to giving up, Landry's Restaurants, the three hundred pound restaurant gorilla, is going to attempt the infamous Karate Kid "Sweep the leg, Johnny", and put up a proxy fight. This acquistion, was an all-cash offer for 100% ownership (that a hella piggy bank you got there, mister). The offer on the table was for $9.29 per share, or more than $137 million. Fertitta owns slightly over 10% of McCormick & Schmick's currently. Do the whooping crane move, fight the Fertitta. Please. For the love of all of us who have dined at Landry's, post-Landry family ownership, fight to the bitter end.

Wait, you're both chains - catch ya'll at Gilhooley's, or Mardi Gras....just saying.

Easter Eats

2011-04-21T13:01:00.002-05:00

Every holiday has a "food association", mine is Easter ham and deviled eggs. Also, there are scads of people who head straight from Easter services to a brunch buffet. Houston's own 29-95 has compiled a nice list of brunches and special three-course meals. Here's the complete list for your perusal. If you prefer to cook your own Easter Feaster, and you're rather tired of ham...there's always a lovely braised rabbit, courtesy of Eating Our Words. Go gently into the rabbit area, as evidenced by the comments some meat is more murderous than others. "Me-OW". I happen to like rabbit, it's yet another "white meat".

Peeps, everyone is weighing in on the candy front, and who am I not to follow them, hopping down the bunny trail, in search of the best basket stuffing sweetness? I love black licorice jelly beans and malted milk "eggs". The Reese's peanut butter eggs are far superior to the normal cups you can purchase year round. Cadbury creme eggs....if I do a cartwheel without experiencing an isolated gravity storm, will you gimme one? Sugar coated marshmallow peeps....nastified. I bet Peep-based s'mores suck too. I don't like them, never have. Now, it's not a real dislike, on account of I have not wrapped my soup coolers around of of those suckers in about....25 years. Nope, not since I was four years old.....oh, yeah, my pants are on fire, one moment, please. I don't like peeps, unless they are "art"....like the pole dancing ones I've seen on the interwebs....or these.

Let's Do Lunch: Carribbean Cuisine

2011-04-18T12:24:00.002-05:00

This is the finest and least expensive lunch, ever. Located cattywampus from Sharpstown High School, on Bissonnet, and tucked back in the corner of a strip center, you'll find Carribbean Cuisine. Many reviews would have you believe this is a scary, scary place. Well, not during the day....besides, reports indicate that the sketchy apartments across the street are slated to be razed. Hell. Yes. I stop in for patties on the weekend, my grand idea of brunch. Two meat patties, to go, $3.03 total drive out. They are hot, fresh, flaky-crusted stuffed patties. Two will completely fill you up, feeling guilty? Get one meat, one veggie. Yes, I told you Reggae Hut made some nice patties. Don't tell them, I said - but, these are better. Not by a couple lengths, perhaps by a nose, or three.

Family-owned, Miss Ina has been cranking out home cooking and the price is nice. Two people can have a pattie and share "Roun' De Yard" or a nice jerk or curry plate, and be stuffed. Also, they have a grocery nook, if you're looking for pigeon peas, jerk seasoning, and a host of other Jamaican groceries. The restaurant is small, seating about 24 people. Those of us from the Southwest Side, get it to go. Goat Curry, Jerk Whatever (Pork, Chicken, etc), vegetable and meat patties, Coco bread. Fish. Shrimp. Outstanding. Do yourself a favor, don't be put off by the neighborhood. I mean really, EaDo is a little RunDo....as are many places/neighborhoods lauded for their superb ethnic restaurants. Besides, all the foodies know you need a CHL and a piece to try some of the best places....really.

Carribbean Cuisine
7433 Bissonnet St.
713.774.7428

Hours: 10:00 a.m. - 8:00 p.m.
(I need to drive by and check this information.)

KPFT's 11th Annual Gumbo Cookoff: Saturday, April 9, 2011

2011-04-08T08:00:00.001-05:00

Gumbo and music - what a fine combination! This Saturday, KPFT 90.1 will host their long-awaited, newly revived, 11th Annual (with a little gap between 10 and 11) Gumbo Cookoff! Admission is only $5 for adults and children under 12 get in free. There will be music on two stages, one outdoor and one indoor, provided by Geno Delafose and French Rockin' Boogie, Don Fontenot and Friends of Louisiana, The Zydeco Dots, The Dallas Street Ramblers, Kevin Robinson Band, Texas After Dark Band, Country Road 101 and more! We will start having all the fun at 10:00 a.m. and shut'er down around 7:00 p.m. First, Second and Third Place Cash & Gift Prizes for both seafood and non-seafood categories.

KPFT's 11th Annual Gumbo Cookoff
Billy's Hall
4070 Wells Drive
Pearland, TX 77584
10:00 a.m. - 7:00 p.m.
$5/adult, $Free/Children under 12

What's For Lunch: Reggae Hut, Mon'

2011-04-07T13:16:00.002-05:00

I've been to Reggae Hut twice for lunch, once for brown stew chicken and once to see Jawad, while sucking on some oxtails. Well, okay, I was polite since I was "into public" and used my knife and fork. No gnawing on tailbones... Had I spied some marrow, things would have worked out a little differently. Jawad, local cool guy and awesome singer/musician/poet, plays Reggae Hut on Thursdays from Noon - 2:00 p.m. My opinion of him is very slightly biased, Jawad lived next door to me for a little while. He's a kind and thoughtful soul, with incredible talent. Please, please hit the link in his name and give him a listen. I have his CD "The Collected Soul", good stuff - and conveniently available for you to purchase via that same website.

So, a perfect lunch on a gorgeous day would be unctuous oxtails with peas and rice (pigeon peas), vegetables like Mama makes and an iced tea. Dining whilst Jawad performs, and not so loudly that you can't have a civilized conversation with your favorite dining companion. It's a soothing background for a comforting meal. The oxtails were large and meaty, in a warm-spiced brown gravy, seared and braised to a delicate fork tender. The problem with the oxtails at Reggae Hut, is that now that I've had them, unless I see the word "goat" on the menu board, I will fixate on the oxtails and never try anything else. You looking for some tail(s), you need to get yourself to Reggae Hut, immediately. If not, sooner.

Bottom Line: Large portions of Jamaican home cooking, a nice selection of patties (pies, with a tumeric infused crust and filled with goodness, spicy goodness - just pick your protein). The atmosphere is eclectic and relaxed. It's a wonderful place for lunch, follow them on Twitter @ReggaeHut, or friend them on the Facebook, to find out what kind of fun they have going on any given day. If you're there on a Thursday, give Jawad some appreciative applause, and some tip love. Please keep him coming back!

The Reggae Hut
4814 Almeda Rd.
Houston, TX 77004
713.520.7171
(it's right near my Tex-Mex affliction - Spanish Village)