ahk says

The mask

2013-01-10T21:20:00.000+05:30

There was a time when I hated liars. Now I’m one of them. All of a sudden there is this exponential rise in the no of lies that I say to the nearest of the near ones that I have. There are times when there was no possible reason to tell a lie and the truth itself would have sufficed but still I took the dishonest path.

After all this lying around what I have realized is that the society is bound together on these thin string of lies. What would happen if all of a sudden we all were deprived of this super-power of lying? For everything people asked, you would be bound to give the truthfull response. You go to a friends party and be honest about how it sucks. When your dear one tries to impress you with her all new recipe you can’t be honest about how you mom is the best cook in the world and no matter how much she tries she can never beat her. You would burp out how your professor is a moron right in front of him. You would honestly tell your boss that he is an asshole and your colleague that he is the biggest idiot that you have ever seen. There would be a nuclear apocalypse within weeks if nations became such honest.

The most important aspect of this lying is that after all this lying, and when you have to second it with another lie only to think of a third one to cover them all up, is that slowly you program you mind in believing in all these made up stuff. This helps because if you believe the stuff to be true then you no longer need to worry about your facial expressions or cover stories as everything becomes natural.

Today I lie so easily to my parents to my teachers to everyone around me all so easily because of this program that is continuously running in my mind. And all of a sudden everyone is happy. People say that the greatest invention of mankind is probably fire or the wheel but I would say that the greatest invention of mankind is the art of lying.

It’s not that I've not been in the receiving end of all this lying. False information is fed to us at every step of our lives. That yoghurt that they claim to be fat free is full of fat, the magical effects of cosmetics and homoeopathy is a myth, maybe actually the moon landings are all made up, or the country is run by some secret organization, and 9-11 was planned and Osama isn't actually dead. Who know the truth? I mean WikiLeaks is blowing up facts every now and then.

So when I had to feed this idea into your mind (yes I'm talking to you) I did it through the art of lying and no matter how much I try I know that this idea that I have planted in your mind is so firmly embedded that it has got nowhere to go. And remember that I want this idea to be there, all that I want is for you to understand that now that everything is how they are supposed to be, the truth is that I'm the same guy that you knew in the first place and this new me, well it isn't me, It’s just a made up person to make you believe in all those lies and that person isn't me.

There is an Idiot in all of us............

2012-03-31T01:26:00.002+05:30

So she comes up to me and says do you know what day it is today,and I was like Friday??. After judging from her expression I asked, "Why?, is there something special about today?". We men are so bad with dates. I mean women remember the tiny details of everything,the day we first met, what color dress we were wearing, the day we first went out, the first time we were drenched under the monsoon,etc etc. For us men,well we might even forget her birthday. After repeated questioning and a bit of emotional blackmail, She said "Today is the day a year ago you made me cry". A wicked silence followed.
Suddenly I remembered it all. She used to be one of the best-est friends of mine. We shared stuff made promises to be best friends for ever, but all that changed that night. Today I stand in front of her and I would know a stranger better than her. All it took was a single stupid act of mine. Some times even if you know the other person very well it becomes difficult to judge the breaking point of the same. Everybody has it, but more importantly everybody has a weak point, where even the slightest of touches will make it bleed. And I had stabbed a dagger onto it. Boy did she cry, and all you could do is stand in front of her and watch. Coz you know no consolation will stop this tide as you actions has unleashed it in the first place. But right at that moment you realize what a huge mistake you have made, and I did, I accused her of something which even I knew was never possible, but I did,out of ignorance, out of idiocracy. Even today I stood speechless,without any explanation, when she asked, "Did you really mean it?Do you realize what went through me that day?". I did realize, but us men, for us it is so difficult to express of feelings in the right manner, women don't understand that. They think that we are not capable of sharing someones emotions but we do, and yes we do feel. Our faces might not show but only our hearts know what goes on inside of us. There is few greater pain in the world than to watch someone you care about cry for an act of yours. I knew that I had hurt her for that one stupid act of mine,but it was only now that I realized that lost her for it. All these days,a complete year I had wondered what could have possibly went wrong. Well now I know it. Its not like we did not talk after that incident. Yes we did, but it was all downhill from that point on. "You don't even remember", she said and walked away.
That night she was online and I text-ed,"wishing you a unhappy "I was an idiot and I made you cry" anniversary, wish to remember it next year....... : p".
"LOLz......Wish you do.........You never gave me that treat you promised", is what she replied after half an hour.
Don't know if this is the conclusion of it or a fresh start,but whatever it is it is definitely intriguing,All of a sudden you start dreaming,you wish things were better again..........
Now I sit in my room and listen to hoobastank play

I'm sorry that I hurt you

It's something I must live with everyday

And all the pain I put you through

I wish that I could take it all away

And be the one who catches all your tears

Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

and the reason is You

Hate is heavy word

2011-09-09T21:02:00.003+05:30

Recently one of my closed friends attacked me over some matter of being a muslim and occupying "their" land India. I was shocked to see such anti-Muslim sentiments among such educated college students. But why such hatred? Who are these anti-Muslim people?

There are many Indians, especially Hindus, who feel there is something wrong with Muslims. These negative sentiments come in different gradations- from mere dislike or contempt to downright hatred.

How are these feelings expressed? Say, you tell someone that you have a Muslim roommate. The reaction is- “Really? How come? Did you not find anyone else?” OR something like, “So, do you guys get along?” A person who has a good experience with a Muslim officer/attendant comes home to relate it- “Though he was a Muslim, he was really nice to me. He helped me out today”. There is an innate assumption that they are not friendly and that you can’t get along with them - and those you can get along are exceptions. Another person says, “I have a Muslim friend. But he is very different though. He does not go to Mosque and all that. He is not a typical Muslim. He is very good.” The prevailing feeling is that devout and typical Muslims are somehow not easy to get along. On the other extreme are people who think that most of the evils of Indian society exist because of Muslims (very synonymous to how Nazis blamed certain sections of people for all evils of their society). They believe that Muslims should have gone to

Pakistan

during Partition- and they even blame Mahatma Gandhi and other founding fathers for allowing them to stay back in

India

. Most of them complain that our minorities are unnecessarily pandered and believe that excessive concessions are doled out to them.

Most moderate Hindus may not harbor much ill-will but they are fine as long as they see a Muslim as a grocer, a laborer, or auto-driver, but not in their regular life. Their attitude is more like – “Well, they exist, but not in our midst. Let’s keep it that way”. Just ask yourself, how many Muslims do you see in any of the top colleges or IT companies? Do they comprise 12-14% as our demographics suggest? (In my experience, most often they constitute less than 1%). How many of them are in your apartment complex? How many Muslim Prime Ministers has India seen? What is the percentage of Muslims in government jobs? Even If not in government jobs then how much Muslims do you see in Private Sector?

Those who hate Muslims find their voice and expression in some of the political and militant outfits- like VHP, RSS, Bajrang Dal, Shiv Sena and the BJP. Is it a coincidence that these groups comprise mostly upper caste leaders? Also, just look at the well-to-do NRI lobbies in US – most of them are anti-Muslim. (According to my experiences, around 90% of Indians living in US share negative sentiments towards Muslims.)

Most of this hatred is founded in the following:

▪ Feeling of superiority (based on certain attributes of birth, legacy and history)

▪ Fear of other types of people – other religions and caste

▪ Lack of familiarity with other types of people, their culture, their mannerisms, their dress sense, language, family lifestyle, etc.

Most chaste Hindu communities forbid their kids mingling closely with Muslim kids. The Muslims go to different kind of schools and somehow are not part of the mainstream. It’s as if they are living in a different

India

altogether. The IT revolution which brought many Hindus to cities like Bangalore somehow seems to have completely skipped this community. The villages in Hindu also have distinct hierarchy towards these communities akin to the Indian caste system. The history also suggests that majority of the Muslims converted from lower castes in

India

What will it take for the Muslims to be readily accepted among us Indians? It has been more than 500 years Muslims have arrived in India. When people can easily accept Christians as fellow Indians the why not Muslims. I don't see similar kind of hatred for them. One more reason why I feel Muslims are hated is because they are Beef eaters. Well if we see the statistics then the amount of beef consumed by the U.S. or Europe or Australia is many folds that of the Indian Muslims. They will be shocked to know how brutally the cattle is killed is these parts of the world,Nobody complains there and moreover they portray us Muslims in such a way that we deliberately eat Beef just to hurt their feelings. Even after being together(if not actually) for so many centuries they fail to understand the concept over which Islam is based and that is a single Almighty we call ALLAH. For you Hindus its not difficult to add 1 more god to your already existing 3 crore gods(thats a change of 3.33 x 10^-6 %) as you guys believe in multiple gods but for us it simply isn't possible. And when we fail to do so you guys consider us to be intolerant and orthodox. One more reason is that you guys know so less about our culture and mannerism. Most Muslims will know about the complex rituals of Durga puja or a Hindu marriage but very few Hindu's know what we do during Eid or what happens during a Muslim marriage.

Before you guys reach some conclusion here I must make it clear that I'm no Hindu hater or something like that. I believe India to be a model country to the world to showcase how more than 1.2 billion people from different religions, caste, language background, can co-exist and live in harmony. But although we are telling the world that this happens and boast of being the largest democracy in the world the actual ground scenario is much different. It is such hatred that creates terrorists and these terrorists create even more anti-muslim people. The process is cumulative.

People should try to understand each others viewpoints and beliefs. Even if you don't support it at least don't disrespect it. For us muslims we are anti-idol worshipers but we don't run around demolishing mandirs and idols, not even in muslim dominant countries like Pakistan, Bangladesh, Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand. All I'm sayins is that if you guys don't love us at least don't hate us.

If any one is hurt by this post ahk is sorry but remember it took a really hurt ahk to write this post.

West Bengal................whats in a name

2011-08-13T23:52:00.002+05:30

As I woke up this other day and grabbed the morning news paper the first thing that I saw really pissed me off, I read The Times of India, an its been more than 7 to 8 years I've been doing so. Over the years the paper has fought on several issues and formed campaigns over various issues, I supported almost all of them but that morning what I saw made me hate the paper. A full front page campaing just to change the name of our beloved West Bengal. Their slogan,Only Bengal.
I mean what were these guys thinking? Are they just goin the Rupert Murdoch's way? Creating news just to sell the paper. Are they simply looking for oppurtunities to expand their reader base by doing these idiotic stunts. Next thing I know they were doing add's in the T.V. relating the same.
Is'nt there much important things to do right now other than changing the name of the state. The state is in seviour debt, there is problem with infrastucture, education, health care, and is facing a flood threat while these guys are busy disscussing why they should change the name of the state.
Before talking about removing the name West Bengal, we should first understand where it originated.The state of Bengal under colonial India comprised of the present day Bangladesh, West Bengal, Parts of Assam, Bihar, Jharkhand, and Orissa. The British thought that it was too large to handle and hence they decided to partion the province in two in 1905, West bengal, comprising present day Bihar, jharkhand, Orissa, West Bengal, Darjeeling and East Bengal comprising Dhaka, Chittagong, Assam, parts of Tripura etc. The partition of Bengal was one of the most important factors for the rise of nationalism and swadeshi movement in India. There were protests everywhere, students, politicians, poets freedom fighters all protested against it and the British were forced to annul the partition in 1911. Later in 1947 the partition of India followed and the rest is history.
The whole Idea of partition was to come together once broken into peices, Maulana Abul Kalam Azad said it was "Divorce before Marriage".Now even if East Bengal is now a different nation, Bengal is never complete unless we take into account both the bengal, now that East Bengal has changed their name to Bangladesh the paper feels there is a need to change the name of West Bengal also.Here are the reasons,
i.West Bengal is to the east of India;-well no one cares which part of India West Bengal lies, Its West Bengal and not west India, so as suggested by the name it is the western part of bengal.
ii.There is nothing as such West Bengali or Royal West Bengal tiger;-well when we talk about bengalis we have to consider all the bengali speaking people living here in West Bengal and in Bangladesh and although there is nothing as such West Bengali, there is a vast difference in the way the language is spoken in the two parts. Further the population of royal bengal tigers comprise the cats living in both the divisions.
iii.The west left us more than 60 yrs ago;-well this has got nothing to do with the british and them being in the west, its our name and our identity.
iv.No bay of west bengal, west bengal dish etc;-well the bay of bengal covers the coast line of both the bengal and we are fotunate its called bay of bengal giving us a unifying feel, although there is no different between the dishes but there certainly is a padma'r ilish and hoogly'r ilish, ilish, one of the defining characteristics of bengali.
v.Go up the alphabatical order;-While this may seem to be a reasonable reason at the same time we must remember in a democracy everyone has the same say even if you speak the last. And if this continues like this then say after 50 yrs all the states in india will have a silent A infront of their name.
Thus the only thing we can conclude is that either you unite both the bengals, if not politically, atleast in the hearts of the people living in them, and the concept of apar bangla and opar bangla is here to stay, By changing the name all the efforts that has been made over the years to bring them closer will go in vain and people of west bengal would forget that there exists an east bengal and there are bengalis apart from them who is as much passionate about our culture, traditions, history, pride. Or the other thing that you can do is remember that there are people having the same bengali heart just opar of the boundary. If great souls like Rabindranath Tagore, Netaji Subhas Chandra Bose, Swami Vivekananda had no problem calling this land West Bengal and fighting for uniting them, who are you? By this so called campaign of your's not only have you hurt the feelings of epar bengalis but also tried to neglect the opar bengalis birthright to call themselves Bengali but also have damaged the image of this great state of the nation of India, you guys need to be sued for tampering with the name of the state and stamping the word "only" over the word "west". Maybe tomorrow you guys will try to change the name of East Bengal Football Club. It is for the people of bengal to decide whether or not to change the name of the state. Have you lately seen any procession or rally by the people regarding this matter, remember the people of west bengal is not afraid to come out on the streets if the issue is worth fighting for. Your paper should immediately appologize and stop this drama.

wassup.....

2011-06-03T00:09:00.000+05:30

Well well well….how have you guys been……..ahk is back……….I know, Iknow you guys missed me…….wondering where I have been??? Well the only thing that comes back after every six months to haunt a student…….exams man semester exams, kind of sick of them, thank god they are over, So this is what you guys missed……….

First off all……..my didi got married. Ya congrats didi.Then came exams and man how did I manage them.My didi got married on 8^th of May and the exams started on 19^th.So basically I studied for just 4 to 5 days for my exams. In other news I crashed my bike(yeah you all can yell “NOT AGAIN!!!!”) on 24^th, total cost of repairing, 15 grand, still havent got her, she is still in the service center waiting for the insurance to get cleared and in much bigger news I am now in 3^rd year, can you believe it guys, well even I cant, it seems as if it was just yesterday I started college…..you people might also be wondering why am I talking about myself since this blog is not about that, well I have written few stuff but I don’t find them quite upto the standard so I have kept them in hold, further I cant seem to find a good topic to write on, so guys help me out, give me a topic, and give some serious interesting ones, not the ones we used to get for english essay writing, all right just continue looking in this place, the real blog is coming up pretty soon……..coz

Today I don't feel like doing anything

I just wanna lay in my bed

Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone

'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything

Forgive yourself

2011-03-31T22:46:00.000+05:30

Have you ever hurt someone and then you later wished that you never did that. That you never had that long conversation, and the whole point that you were trying to make is actually based on the horribly ridiculous ego that you have. It’s only when you end up with a huge mess that is when you realize that this is what you had feared the most. The whole picture of arguing with the other person flashes in your eyes like a flashback with all the effects and thunders and you feel like your brains are about to explode for working so much. You wait for that one opportunity to restart that conversation and hope this time you will end up on the winning side. But when you have already done that it’s only then that you realize that winning isn’t exactly what you need. Sometimes losing the battle, surrendering, subduing to your so called enemy is far better than seeing tears in your enemy’s eyes. Knowing that you are capable of accepting defeat which your enemy isn’t and there was a day that you loved your enemy more than how much you hate your friends now.

Your search for that one person has resulted in a disastrous calamity. The whole world seems to be so much full of maya and everything you look upon seems to be fake. The guitar that you played doesn’t quite seem to be in tune no matter how much you tune it, the bike that you ride lacks the adrenaline kick that it had, the sun gleaming down the tree’s lack the silver that it used to sprinkle the other day. The cool breeze seems to be poisonous, the water dangerous mercury. Food turns into ash in your mouth, money can no longer buy you happiness; women can no longer satisfy you.

You know you have your weaknesses; you know that you are exposed. You know that you are being tampered with; you know you are being betrayed. You know where the boundary ends but you keep pushing on. You question your own judgments, you wish you get through. Your gun is always backfiring, your knife is dull too. You wish you can show you true colors but you know they are dark and blue.

How do you rebuild the trust that you shared? How do you hide your darker twin? You may be happy to lose to someone you don’t know but how can you lose to the person residing inside you? Do you know how difficult it is to defeat yourself? The anger for the other person may go but how do you cool the anger for yourself?? You may sense the fear in the enemy’s eyes but can you hide your fear from yourself? You may forgive the other person but how do you forgive yourself?

How do you forgive yourself?

I understand that there are some problems

And I am not too blind to know

All the pain you kept inside you

Even though you might not show

If I can't apologize for being wrong

Then it?s just a shame on me

I?ll be the reason for your pain

And you can put the blame on me

RESPECT

2011-03-27T20:53:00.000+05:30

I recently got a new sticker on the silencer pipe of my R15. It cries out loud “RESPECT”. To be honest with you all, the idea for it came from FIFA. Well most of us who follow football might have seen the word running around on the electronic advertisement boards. Now when the sticker guy asked what I would like to be written on the tail pipe I said RESPECT out of the inner attitude that I have. But apart from it I never gave a deep thought into what it actually represents or rather means until when this 1’st year girl in our college was tying her shoe laces with her foot on the letters. I really got pissed off and we had a long conversation on whether she was illiterate, blind or simply ignorant. But this small incident made me think. What is the thing that I want convey to the masses with this small word. Is it an Order, or a Request? Is it a statement, or a notice?

When you see the word RESPECT with nothing in front of it nor any thing in its rear how do you interpret it?

If given a thought then you must agree that RESPECT is a very important pillar that keeps the society running. Without respect the system will be so easily disrupted, all the sequence tampered, the rules broken, the order turned into chaos. But if seen closely then we’ll see that RESPECT has long evaded the hearts of the common man. The motorist doesn’t think twice before evading that traffic signal, the Romeo’s does not think twice before cheating on their Juliet’s. The politicians give a damn about it voters while pocketing all the cash, The musician pays no heed to any copyright violations before lifting that track, The policemen before taking the bribe, The government official before passing the pensioners file, The student before preparing chits for exams, The sportsman before taking a dope, The doctor before stealing the kidney, The engineer before ordering low grade cement, The champu before peeing on the roadside. RESPECT is missing everywhere, and the end result is chaos.

People who live under self build rules and ethic does not need a reminder for RESPECT of the universe and its small details. Why do other people have to impose rules and regulations on you when you can build them yourself, and the fun part being you can tweak it according to your needs. When you have RESPECT for every small thing around you only then you can be truly a complete man not just to the world but also to yourself. Respect, Honor, Dignity, make that your driving force and nothing can stop you. With these small changes you can always sing

Oh, this has gotta be the good life

This has gotta be the good life

This could really be a good life, good life

I say oh, got this feeling that you can't fight

Like the city is on fire tonight

This could really be a good life

A good, good life

love the idea of LOVE

2011-02-13T18:45:00.000+05:30

LOVE IS IN THE AIR………

What????

You people don’t believe me? Look around. Check the date probably, have look at your cell phones sms traffic , switch on the television and you’ll find most of the channels changing their logos to some vivid red colored hearts and ribbons with cheap animations of two roses shaking around them. On the social networking sites there will be loads of applications helping you find your true love. Celebrities wishing you happy V-day and blah blah, the newspapers page 3 you’ll get to know whether shahid found his next didi an all. Its love season guys, well the cold has certainly left and the sun is shining bright, the lawns of Victoria memorial and Millennium Park is filled with couples expressing their love for their loved ones in all kinds of desi and firangi istyle.

This is how the oxford dictionary defines love-
Pronunciation:
/lʌv/
Noun
[Mass noun]
1 a strong feeling of affection:
Babies fill parents with intense feelings of love
Their love for their countrya
A strong feeling of affection and sexual attraction for someone:
They were both in love with her
We were slowly falling in love
Affectionate greetings conveyed to someone on one's behalf:
Give her my love
A formula for ending an affectionate letter:
Take care, lots of love, Judy

For full details go to http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/love?view=uk
Wikipedia says Love is the emotion of strong affection and personal attachment. In philosophical context, love is a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection. In some religious contexts, love is not just a virtue, but the basis for all being, as in the Roman Catholic phrase, "God is love". Love may also be described as actions towards others (or oneself) based on compassion. Or as actions towards others based on affection. Click on http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love for the full article.

But you people might think why a.Khan is suddenly interested all this love and stuff???
No I haven’t found a girl……..nor do I intend to do so.

Its that are you people blind??? Don’t you have the courage to remove the invisible glasses on your eyes and see the actual picture? Use your brains not your kidneys. Do you really think that the person that you are seeing for the last one month or year or even more actually “loves” you?? Well before I ask you that I would like to know whether you think that the “love” that you think is love actually exist??

Well I’m sorry to say but I DON’T THINK SO.

Now before you jump to some conclusions here I must tell you I’m not one of those extremists lobbying to ban your loved V-Day and make public display of affection a crime, nor am I with the shiv sena or Sangh parivar who has vowed to film kissing couples this V-Day and post them on YouTube(If you find them then please do flag them).

What I’ll intend to do is to try to wake you up from this trance that you are in and give a little insight on love. In order to do that I want you to imagine a world where love simply vanished into thin air over night. Imagine you wake up tomorrow morning and “love is gone”. No, wars will not break out but this is what will happen.
The wall streets and dalal streets will crash, nothing else.
Do you know the market value of love???

Hold your breath, wait for it, its more than 3 trillion US dollars(multiply with 50 to get is rupees).

Love in today’s world is so commercialized that the x and y generation simply just wanna fall in love, It doesn’t matter if they are actually in love or not. From day 1 of their life they are constantly spoon fed with love that they would subconsciously kill someone just to fall in love. As if, if they are not in “love” they do not exist. From how Cinderella found her prince charming to all those complicated twilight love stories. Books, Films, Music, T.V. , newspapers, magazines.The processor in their brain is all ways busy analyzing the signals and transmissions coming from the opposite sex and their RAMs are packed with data gathered from friends and media.
Its time you realized that the commercialistic capitalistic world is playing with your brain. It’s your brain, not some art clay which they will mould according to their greed. In a loveless world who will buy all those roses and chocolates, music industry, the whole of Bollywood and partly Hollywood will have to pack up. Cell phone operators will have to sell food products and T.V. channels will be out of news (the only news they show these days is which celebrity hooked up with whom) and ideas for soap operas. Humans developed straight spines because they questioned, so question everything, start reasoning. The whole drama that is going around you is not “love” it’s just a huge corporate propaganda to reap you of your (well actually your parents) hard earned money. It’s like one of those cover stories of the CIA or KGB or our desi RAW. Only that it is so big that no one bothers to think about it. So think again, recheck your blue print, scan for the bugs and malwares, balance your charts, and don’t let this inception planted in your brain take over you.
Don’t fall in love just to be in love and later sing “Every rose has its thorn” but find the right one and say “You can run you can hide but you can’t escape my love”

good life

2011-01-31T19:42:00.000+05:30

Just a day into blogging and I have 4 followers and 29 hits.

On the other hand I have inspired dipankar (a very good friend of mine from STBS, Kidderpore) to start blogging.

His post is at http://dipstory.blogspot.com/ and is quite interesting.

Here I need to make an acknowledgement to a person who inspired me to start blogging. Adwitiya Dutta Chowdhury at http://adwitiyaduttachowdhury.blogspot.com/ It was only after reading her blog that I even thought of blogging. Thanks Apa.

A very interesting thing happened yesterday. After all those ceremonial cake cutting and stuff I came back to my room and was browsing and downloading some random stuff when one of my friend from DIT called and said “are arif suna hai tere ghar ke samne kya bawaal ho raha hai,ekbar niche jake dekh to”. I was a bit surprised since how come this person knows about a brawl in progress in front of my home and I’m unaware of it. So I went out and opened the door and these four idiots were standing there with a cake in their hand singing happy birthday. Dipjyoti,pushpak,anand and shahbaz. I was so surprised with them that I started using some colonial language. I mean it was near about 9 pm in the night and what are these idiots doing there.

We all went in and I did the honors once again. Ma told me to juggar for a chicken which I got from one of our neighbours. For dinner we had beef biriyani with chicken (excluding puspak and anand for the beef part). Later that night we watched “jhoota hi sahi”, loved raghu for his omar part.we went to bed around 2.45.
In the morning we were so late for college (they had to go back to their homes for college uniform) that we had to spend the whole first half in library.

Now while writing this piece I have realized how lucky I am to have friends like these and maybe the only person to cut two cakes in one birthday.This would be my most memorable birthday yet.

A fresh start

2011-01-30T18:19:00.001+05:30

It’s my birthday and I have turned 20.My sisters are planning a surprise party and I know it from all their sneaking around and whisperings. Ma will make my favorite beef biriyani later in the evening. My friends (well most of them,) have started wishing me happy birthday in various different ways since last midnight. Some seem to have forgotten but I'm not heartbroken.

New years and Birthdays have one thing in common. They are an opportunity for us to start over new. Well most of us promise to do so but then how many of us actually do it? Now that I have a similar situation in hand I plan to make a fresh beginning. Few thing that I intent to do are start working on my career (in other word studying), stop rash driving on my bike (It’s still in the service center for the freak accident I had on 26th Jan), try harder to learn my guitar, start working out, and start blogging (which I think I have already started and intent to have at least one post a week).

But you know what I don’t know why deep inside I’m not that happy, I mean not as happy I were when I turned 18 or 19.Its not like I’m sad or something but I feel as if this is just another day. There are also few questions that my heart is asking myself. Now that 20 years of my precious life has passed what is the one thing that I’m proud of? What is it that I have found, what is it that I’ve lost, what is it that I have gained or failed to do. Am I just another spec of sand on the vast beach on the universe, eroded and polished by each wave of the sea or I’m here in this world to make a difference. Inside a voice tells me that you are here for something special, you are assigned a task small or big when you job is done only then can you feel the eternal sunshine. On the other hand another voice tells me that just as each drop is necessary to fill a sea I’m here for fill that negligible but very important part without which the sea knows that it is incomplete.

Life you can live in two different ways. One along with the flow of the stream and the other one is to get out of that stream and make a path of your own and make yourself seen to everyone in that stream. Turning 20 is that pivoting point which I believe is the time to make that decision. Do I go with the flow completing my B.Tech getting a decent job in a good company with a decent paycheck, get married and raise beautiful children as they say live happily ever after only to die or should I do something different take the risk of either making it big or regret this decision for the rest of my life. I yes then which path should I take. The questions are so many that music is the only cure and the one that I’m listening to right now says,
Summer has come and passed

The innocent can never last

Wake me up when September ends

Like my father's come to pass

Twenty years has gone so fast

Wake me up when September ends