Buttons and the Whore http://www.theitspot.com/ Join podshow hosts Preston Buttons and The Word Whore as they clumsily narrate their way through submitted works of Short Fiction: often painfully, always absent-mindedly and completely unincumbered by any relevent credentials. Looking for a Serious Literary Discussion? Just Keep Right On Looking! Join podshow hosts Preston Buttons and The Word Whore as they clumsily narrate their way through submitted works of Short Fiction: often painfully, always absent-mindedly and completely unincumbered by any relevent credentials. en-us 2008 Fri, 18 Jul 2008 08:00:00 -0500 shorts@theitspot.com yes Comedy shorts@theitspot.com Buttons and The Whore Sex,Literature, Stories, Relationships,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Debate,Politics,Movies,Television 1 Buttons sniffs out the homeless. Josh (The Listener) totally gives away "The End of The Movie". The Word Whore riffles through Tarantino's wank-o-dex with her bare toes. 191 Randall Crescent has to ferment the fruit before planting his seed, but he'll happily share the sloppy seconds. Fri, 18 Jul 2008 07:00:00 -0500 yes 41:06 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode102.mp3 AoMS rolls around in the warm squelchy aftermath of their much celebretated 100th. The Whore edits lamb screams from her Moussaka. A big fat Greek conflict prevents Preston from a life of piracy. John Doer doesn't know her, but he does dabble in dwarf tossing. Tue, 08 Jul 2008 07:00:00 -0500 yes 31:01 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode101.mp3 Just-a-Joe helps AoMS drag its sorry lagging arse into year 3 -- w000t! Drunk with power, The Whore blows another mic. Ernst and Young count Buttons offspring before they hatch. Chad Hanson spreads his ash, as Jim Henson rolls over in his grave. Be careful where you dip your quarter-chicken, Canada is a nice clean place. Wed, 25 Jun 2008 07:00:00 -0500 yes 59:28 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode100.mp3 The Word Whore takes a vow of silence. I Am Webster flashes his jugs. Dreamy Dean manages to conceal his privates, even while rolling off the rock, but Buttons brazenly unclasps his semi-wooden cloister. Fri, 30 May 2008 07:00:00 -0500 yes 34:05 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode99.mp3 Buttons enjoys himself. The Whore gets stupider. William Grant Preston does "The Deed" in a dark park with Marky Mark and Slutty McSlutSlut drops the soap. Fri, 11 Apr 2008 07:00:00 -0500 yes 52:35 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode98.mp3 Afternoon regurgitation turns Buttons green with envy. Joseph J Jolton polishes a petrified piece of Victorian feces. The Word Whore exhumes a canine corpse. Edible big bully King Minos Del Toro rallies a rabble regime, but it's all Greek to AoMS. Mon, 31 Mar 2008 07:00:00 -0500 yes 52:56 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode97.mp3 Buttons masters the telephone. Void Munashii squeezes into his ess-less unitard to fend off Gap-happy zombies in "Mallville". The Word Whore advocates tough love for self-loathing snipers. Disco Lou goes down all day long, even after his wing-man falls flat. They paved paradise and put up Mississauga. Wed, 28 Feb 2008 07:00:00 -0500 yes 44:28 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode96.mp3 The new Pauly B action figure comes with its own cancer-causing comb-over cream-rinse. Lord Felton Pole reveals the secret to a successful marriage. 88 Fingers Willy flounders under parental lock down. The Whore helps vain elephants turn a lighter shade of grey and Buttons finds religion. Sun, 24 Feb 2008 07:00:00 -0500 yes 34:53 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode95.mp3 The Whore is chronologically challenged. Fish shares his meat treat with Colonel Chicken Diddler, while Buttons suffers a stroke. Banacek rolls back from Sin City without his hand-cannon. What happens in The Gun Store, should probably stay in The Gun Store. Wed, 30 Jan 2008 07:00:00 -0500 yes 51:04 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode94.mp3 AOMS inspires the first scratch-n-sniff Farmer's Almanac. Winter rips Buttons a new one. Bill Clinton leaves an indelible mark on the lesbian community. Maqx gets mad enough to make "Mel" sing soprano. 191 Randall goes for the jugular and The Word Whore finds decapitated roosters a little tough to swallow. Sun, 20 Jan 2008 07:00:00 -0500 yes 46:20 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode93.mp3 1998, the unofficial year of the hedgehog, rolls out with a rodent-infested fable by S.J. Marky and a still-un-beta-tested MacDaddy GMG debut. Preston goes back to school to learn to party like a pope. The Whore's alpha tail theory is full of gassy bacterial holes and the land down under becomes a safe haven for pie-dodging Irish possums. Tue, 15 Jan 2008 07:00:00 -0500 yes 47:42 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode92.mp3 Buttons sheds a short and curly. The Word Whore is googley peeved. Preston Buttons Jr tops it off with some royally spoofed special sauce. Dreamy Dean hangs, so the hotline (305-76-SHOWS) gets a long overdue D 'n' C. Tue, 18 Dec 2007 07:00:00 -0500 yes 34:53 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode91.mp3 This ain't AoMS. This is genocide. As they pulled Mary Kate out of the oxygen tent, Electric Lee asked for the latest party. In Wyeth's clever bunk, "How To" profit-dump, smart like The Whore he was. Preston Buttons freak he was. So pick through that bowl on your hands and knees. The diamond logs are shredders and they hide inside feces. Thu, 29 Nov 2007 07:00:00 -0500 yes 49:52 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode90.mp3 Preston Buttons and The Word Whore serve up two heaping helpings of Purple Puddle Nut Pie. Jack Black gets no slack. Buttons has no seeds. The Whore pimps out the two of them. Happy Halloween. This is not the best episode in the world. It's a tribute. Mon, 29 Oct 2007 07:00:00 -0500 yes 45:10 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode89.mp3 Rock 'n' roll is complicated. Escape Pod's Steve Eley spews all over the Expo. Buttons bakes a Hell's Angels Food Cake. In the Navy, DocZim can check out your disease. In the Navy, yes, you can contract STDs. The Whore begs for mercy. Mon, 15 Oct 2007 07:00:00 -0500 yes 43:23 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode88.mp3 The Whore lets Preston hitch his insignificant wagon to her crap-purveying star. Young Bulls guard family jewels from dear old Dad. "Demon Hunter", by Dan Manning, is much better than dirt. Buttons shops in The Underworld because redheads prefer brown, but Scott (TTN) won't wear satin to ward off Pauly B 's pond-crossing beer fingers. Sun, 16 Sep 2007 07:00:00 -0500 yes 48:30 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode87.mp3 Kevin Smith threatens to foul up Festivas Tet!Anus. Shane Passon and Amy Mann lure exploratory foragers down their crumb-laden treasure trails in "The Colony". Strapping on Super-slider Snow Skates and setting his sights on Aspen, Angry Phone Guy tears yet another sparkly strip off the well-to-do. Mon, 03 Sep 2007 07:00:00 -0500 yes 32:24 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode86.mp3 Preston pees on the competition. The Whore staggers back to her roots. Mark Duhe's "Reclamation" runs Native American gymnasts and contorted eunuchs out of Kansas. Dreamy Dean gets a grip on his inner fluffer, prompting Link to run away and join the circus Mon, 27 Aug 2007 07:00:00 -0500 yes 39:41 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode85.mp3 Much to Preston's audible dismay, Shaggy Fancy Pants staggers by the AoMS studio to get boozed and bring sexy back. The Word Whore adds a large dose of frankness to her 'to do' list. "Broken Angels" - a FISH story of figurines loved and lost – gets much more lost than loved, in this beer-soaked trainwreck from the cutting room floor. Tue, 07 Aug 2007 07:00:00 -0500 yes 28:20 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode84.mp3 Preston paints Pottahawk pink. The Word Whore liberates Bula Bula Bada. Buttons performs ritualistic circumcision on Phil Foster's "Cuban Smokes" and - after riding a wave in the wake of an old Sedan - a busload of octogenarians guide Earl The Pearl through the Kama Sutra. Thu, 19 Jul 2007 07:00:00 -0500 yes 38:27 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode83.mp3 ZZ Top cancels Brazilian tour to save face. Toronto men renounce routine foot care. Just-a-Joe goes way "Over The Edge". Trapper's Better Half keeps his meat clean. Buttons just found a brand new box of matches and what he knows The Whore ain't had time to learn. Mon, 25 Jun 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 39:40 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode82.mp3 Buttons bends over backwards to pay his rent. The Whore gets wrapped up in wordy nudistism. A full year past all expectation, the ink finally dries on Kennah's "Final Draft". Inept call-screener, 88 Fingers Willy, fishes for pearls and farms out his lucky prostate. Thu, 14 Jun 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 27:13 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode81.mp3 Addiction lands The Whore an on-call Priest. Buttons gets taken out by a swinging boob. Batman isn't supposed to be beautiful, Mike Dominic gives his roommate some static, and Angry Phone Guy picks out just the right bag to go with his stain-resistant frock...for the Prom. Mon, 28 May 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 31:04 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode80.mp3 Buttons gets creamed. The Word Whore, delightfully wasted, plasters a big fat one on a local escort. Stunt Pig tells "Edna" where to go. The official AoMS hotline (305-76-SHOWS) finally gets a long overdue spring cleaning, though it really could have done with a proper douching. Mon, 14 May 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 28:42 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode79.mp3 The Whore's infectious new brand of lip-service might swell heads, but the bubble bursts when it comes to keeping anal stuff in its place. Still dripping from his last nasal deployment, Ryan Saunders knows bio-warfare's snot a laughing matter. Preston fights for the right to bleed. Escape Pod's Steve Eley confirms it ain't easy being green and fatherhood is forever. Tue, 23 Apr 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 44:16 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode78.mp3 The Word Whore gives 300 Spartans a good sound lickin', but cannot get Buttons to leak his boobie secrets. William Kelly whips out "The Family Jewels". Disco Lou makes sure The Whore's nipples are covered, while his 'friend' tidies things up in Man World. Tue, 17 Apr 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 33:11 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode77.mp3 Flagrant misuse leads to the removal of TWW's box. Stephen Eley's "Year of the Fox" continues to explore some very slippery slopes. A lifelong aversion to mathematics finally limits The Word Whore in bed. Buttons fears fatist slurs may effect T-shirt sales. First time call to Earl The Pearl sends large slobbering dogs howling. Tue, 11 Apr 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 37:30 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode76.mp3 Buttons punches himself in the face, as The Whore digs five years worth of sand from the grill. Shelly has big boobies. Lulu has a perfect package. Part one of "Year of the Fox" by The General - Escape Pod's Stephen Eley - reeks of humus. Angry Phone Guy isn't allowed to yell at us anymore. Mon, 10 Apr 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 30:54 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode75.mp3 Preston pulls out all the stops and finds it to be a bad idea. The Whore goes blind doing double phone duty. The ghost in the machines set the night on fire. "Conduit" by jethro6mil is electrifying. Thu, 29 Mar 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 26:31 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode74.mp3 Buttons numbs himself to the pain, while The Whore whips up a batch of daddy goo. Judy Dench still has a shot at a hat-trick. Nicole unleashes a tasty tuft of poorly compensated discomfort in "Model Wanted". Dreamy Dean orders some beer and doubles your toothless-padded-french-goalie-fetish pleasure. Link smells bad. Wed, 07 Mar 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 35:26 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode73.mp3 Trapper John and Hot-Lips-Hawk-Eye accidentally cross primary instruments in a Virginian MASH pit. Feces flinging monkeys invade the AoMS studio. Jesse's girl, Jessica, forgoes robots and rabbits to risk marital bliss for "Him", while Buttons leaks the top-secret plot-line of HP7. There's a place for bad jokes, but there is not always room for Jello. The Whore finds Link's funny bone. JustaJoe puts his mouth where his keyboard is. Mon, 26 Feb 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 34:45 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode72.mp3 It's a celebration of death and VD, broadcast from a crumb-free hobbit-size toilet-seat. While Preston's morals preclude intimate wee-wee dinners and veto roofie distribution plans, they do not rule out sending herpes by mail. Prince's next evolution may challenge whether or not Ms. Whore sure likes to ball. A team of EMTs try to resuscitate Rich Gibson's "Motorcycle". Sir Michael wears nice pants. Wed, 14 Feb 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 34:49 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode71.mp3 The Word Whore faces a concrete case of elephantiasis. Buttons gets busted for playing air guitar. Big Johnny's off his game. "Sex For Grades", by Nobilis, makes Preston sweat and teaches The Whore a better way to die. Someone's sneaking 'round the corner, is the someone Link The Knife? Mon, 05 Feb 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 25:18 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode70.mp3 Buttons finds a little Jamaican hiding in his family tree. Belinda uncorks her "Masterpiece". Dom Joly's Bitch gives The Word Whore an excuse to polish her harness and the lost "Spooge" recordings turn up somewhere in Newfoundland. Mon, 15 Jan 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 33:54 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode69.mp3 Preston decides to cure Polio and rubs Peter Jackson the wrong way. Wikipedia snubs The Whore. Fellow podcasting barfly, Will Ross, leaves an "Aftertaste". Balls-out rock'n'roller, Dreamy Dean, defuzzes his luggage for the debut performance of "BOB". Sun, 07 Jan 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 27:41 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode68.mp3 Buttons is smashed. The Whore misses out on some good clean fun. Phil Foster dreams of a Pink Christmas. Banacheck rubs elbows with aging television stars and spewing headbangers. Sat, 30 Dec 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 34:36 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode67.mp3 Buttons and The Whore rejoice in the holiday spirit, celebrate the simple things, and stuff. "MDK", by Mikkel from Denmark, smells faintly of fancy french pigs. Preston tracks down first ever AoMS story submitter, Trapper, in Virginia. Chuck Woolery reeks havoc in the PlayPen. Special thanks to forum members JustaJoe and Jessica. Wed, 20 Dec 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 39:20 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode66.mp3 Preston plugs unfriendly beaver. The Word Whore unknowingly sends TTN listeners on a wild goose chase. "Drinkathon", by Stuntpig, induces cravings for pigs feet, chocolate bars, and potato omelette. Lulu Fontaine digs funk from under her fingernails and dons a hard-earned pair of new shoes. Tue, 12 Dec 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 35:05 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode65.mp3 The Whore comes up for air via Skype after blowing for dollars, drunk-dialing, and milking Phil McCracken Whitcomb's pants. David Ihnen's "The Very Good Rat" sets Buttons' balls a twitchin' and rumors of Working Girl's death prove to have been only mildly exaggerated. Wed, 29 Nov 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 31:04 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode64.mp3 The Whore's dignity is battered once again. Buttons hides behind his "Peeps". "The Mind of Insanity" by Jonathan Hunter Dare makes Buttons yearn for world control. Mygraine from the AOMS forums gives a new meaning to the phrase "cashing out". Thu, 09 Nov 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 33:16 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode63.mp3 Buttons pimps his rye. The Whore Sautes some ninety-year-old shrimp. Doomed Moose bears it all in "A Scary Night". Mama's Boy fakes a leaky faucet to avoid holiday hotdogs. Mon, 30 Oct 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 37:20 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode62.mp3 Buttons auditions for TOMMY, while a very phlegmy Word Whore gets behind math, science, geometry, and the latest hot tip from Link. The Amusement Ride, by David Smith, spirals out of orbit. Angry Phone Guy orders a salad. Sun, 29 Oct 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 34:00 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode61.mp3 AoMS says YES to minty fresh Brits. Preston serenades fellow podcasting 'sidekick' Tony Hearn. Ryan Saunders touches Buttons in all the right places, with a little help from "Sid and Zoe". Despite unanimous listener opinion, Big Johnny gets another shot. The Whore accidentally reveals her best kept anti-aging secret. Tue, 17 Oct 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 32:13 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode60.mp3 The Word Whore chokes on Preston's jerk chicken. Outraged by negative listener feedback, Big Johnny tries to highjack the airwaves. Preston Buttons Junior lovingly recalls "A Day with Dad". Law-talking ex-glam-rocker, Lionel Hutts, joins AoMS for an unauthorized tribute to the real Rat Pack. Mon, 16 Oct 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 29:18 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode59.mp3 Punky's Pauly B. delivers "Always Fighting" in lieu of his wife. Olfactory observations unearth a crock of kippers 'n' applesauce. Link drops his Gangsta facade, although he's still packin'. Buttons and The Whore commit a blood-curdling crime of passion. Wed, 27 Sep 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 37:33 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode58.mp3 Preston Buttons dances and breaks out the bubbly, while Vince Vaughn's leavings dribble from The Whore. Luke's "Cherries 'n' Cream" shames Shakespeare. A call with Craig from the Tangents Podcast leads to the long-overdue discovery that Art Garfunkle, Richard Simmons, and Ronald MacDonald are all, in fact, the same person. Wed, 20 Sep 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 30:39 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode57.mp3 Preston Buttons jams with countrified lesbians, plays a 'bit-part' in LOTR, and sets his sights on the King's deer. Ricardo Gonzales offers up a sweet, tightly-wrapped little treat. The Word Whore challenges Disco Lou to a 'twink-off' and everything's coming up Millhouse. Fri, 15 Sep 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 31:31 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode56.mp3 Buttons changes his name to Keith and almost actually comes out. The Toronto International Film Festival starts oiling up The Word Whore's rusty revolving door. A submission by Poet oozes through gaping cracks in AoMS content standards. Just-a-Joe blows hot and cold in the first edition of a new segment: "Outta The Word Whore's Mouth". Tue, 12 Sep 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 26:34 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode55.mp3 Buttons slinks out of his sopping apartment, lets down his back-hair, and gums his way through long-overdue listener comments. Phil Foster breaks out of AoMS in-box imprisonment to offer up "The Gift". Tiny hands wield an enormous broom. Link drops in to butter The Word Whore's biscuit. Mon, 29 Aug 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 28:10 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode54.mp3 Preston threatens to spontaneously combust, as The Word Whore's dysfunctional mouth spills out all of Angry Phone Guy's sword-fighting secrets. Part two of "Calchas", by Dave Aldridge, decomposes after a wormy bout of consumption. The Whore rules out another 'entry' as unwilling. Buttons breaks his promise to the proper Mrs. E. Mon, 21 Aug 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 27:56 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode53.mp3 The Word Whore hits high celebrity as stiffly as she can. Buttons' recurring crabs cause him to lose face. A painful phonecall to Big Johnny drives the hosts to look for an escape. Part 1 of "Calchas" by Dave Aldridge has the Whore dreaming of tall shiny towers of manhood. Mon, 14 Aug 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 37:51 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode52.mp3 Reunited after seven months, Buttons and the Whore find they have nothing to say to one another. Post Punky stress leaves Buttons beaten. The whore takes double fisting to it's next logical level. The surreal "Good Morning Toronto" by Stunt Pig brings Buttons honking to the ledge. A birthday call to 88 Fingers Willy finds him looking to clean house. Sat, 22 Jul 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 33:48 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode51.mp3 Clean-shaven and sporting modern pants, Buttons and The Whore celebrate the One-Year Anniversary of AOMS. Spiderman's package shrivels at the silver tongue of a slippery little green fellow. "Tempting The Nerd", by Paul B. Edwards from PUNKY! Radio, smashes Preston's arsehole. TTN makes The Whore feel really really dirty. Mon, 26 Jun 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 43:23 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode50.mp3 The Word Whore suspects South Beach residents of watering their lawns. "Porcelain Dreams", by Mike Difeo, fails to bring out Preston's romantic side. The William Shatner School of Acting is finally forced to close down. The Whore tries to play Chuck Woolery for Buttons and first time on air guest Dr. Whom, but gravity isn't cooperating. Mon, 19 Jun 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 32:46 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode49.mp3 It's forbidden cocktails in a skank pad, when Buttons divulges the latest in kitchen trends. The Word Whore places an order for some piping hot TTN pepperoni. "Clucksome Cockadoodleanamus Book", by Martyzilla, ruffles a few feathers before helping Bjork land the lead in the sequel to ET. Buttons and The Whore finally engage Angry Phone Guy in a long overdue three-way. Sun, 11 Jun 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 34:48 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode48.mp3 The Word Whore casts her shiniest idol aside and checks herself in to the nearest knitting circle. Will Waverly, author of "Pointless Parable", politely asks Buttons to eat dung and die. Preston plays possum while top secret plans for the new Tickle-Me-Buttons plush toy - bound to be all the rage, Christmas 2006 - are inadvertently lactated. Mon, 29 May 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 28:29 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode47.mp3 Escape Pod's Stephen Eley gives Buttons the Sci-Fi shaft. The Word Whore seeks a sugar daddy with deep pockets and fewer cavities to keep her puffing and panting. "The Wrong Excuse", by Dan Manning, warns dope peddling jive turkeys about infectious ferrets. Hungry hounds lick their chops, while Preston polishes his drumsticks. Tue, 23 May 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 30:39 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode46.mp3 While The Word Whore gives Frank Stallone more air time than he's had in almost twenty years, Preston Buttons deftly dodges bullets. Jessica's "Not Just Another One Night Stand" sites some important advances in erotic robotics. The Whore finds a certain foamy stick a little hard to swallow. Thu, 11 May 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 29:31 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode45.mp3 Buttons expresses concern about a lack of alcoholism in Toronto's podcasting community. The Word Whore blows a peeper. Robin Kirkman, author of "Rakth in The Beginning", suffers a gender identity crisis at the hands of The Whore and cancels his/her subscription to AoMS due to Preston's assholishness. Wed, 03 May 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 27:57 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode44.mp3 No show this week, folks, so here's a little something from the private files. We'll be be back soon in all of our drunken glory. Wed, 26 Apr 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 02:45 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/april26_noshow.mp3 Preston finally gets his dirty mouth washed out with soap. Despite ongoing rumors and an unfortunate haircut, Angry Phone Guy's wardrobe confirms his heterosexuality. The Word Whore gives up both her ass and her dignity for Lent. "Where You'll Find Me" by DG is sad and it's sad and it's sad too. Link joins Buttons in the studio for "The Redneck Review". Wed, 19 Apr 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 35:33 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode43.mp3 Buttons gives birth to the Anti-Christ, while The Whore drops acid and goes 'walkabout'. Preston denies his resemblance to Chicken Little. Part two of "Moonlight", by Craig from the Tangents podcast, delivers only part of its juicy payload before cutting out for a Ginger-MaryAnne sandwich. Mon, 10 Apr 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 31:59 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode42.mp3 The Word Whore defiles Mother Earth. Buttons tie-dyes a tree-hugger. Craig, from the Tangents podcast, oils up his harness and breaks out all the toys in part one of "Moonlight". Invisible sex organs dig up frightening images from Preston's childhood. Hairy Barbarian's run from wayward butt-plugs. Tue, 28 Mar 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 30:47 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode41.mp3 Buttons loses his battle with the homeless virus. The Word Whore fiddles, while Air Out My Shorts burns. Lost recordings collect dust for good reason. Buttons and The Whore take a meatless road-trip with Michael Beckwith in "A Day In The Life Of". Z.J. serves up some silver tongue. Preston conducts a fruitless survey. Wed, 22 Mar 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 27:19 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode40.mp3 The Word Whore lays claim to yet another celebrity tonguing in absentia, while poor Button's patience with her drunken baby-talk babble is quite audibly pushed to the edge. Mike Dominic's "At His Own Pace" receives the highest story rating ever bestowed, shortly before experts have to be called in for The Whore's deep cleaning. The Barbie Dream House labels all its exits. Fri, 10 Mar 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 30:24 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode39.mp3 Preston yanks his own chain. The Word Whore prepares for a British invasion. Dann H gets Irish on Buttons. Al from Long Island demands a peach from the Whore. Simon Wilkinson says "It Could Be You", but probably isn't. Mon, 06 Mar 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 28:34 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode38.mp3 The Whore rats out Link's little sister and airs out her unkempt garage. The conclusion of Z.J. Maplin's "Sins Quietly" finds Preston Buttons wielding a dangerous piece of meat. Disco Lou calls in to woo his favorite gap girl. The Word Whore boosts seat sales for her private self-esteem workshops. Mon, 20 Feb 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 20:59 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode37.mp3 In this very special Valentine's episode, Preston flashes his Ninja card while The Whore aches for twat recognition. Buttons and The Word Whore warm your cockles by mucking about in Malkavius Rostif's "You, Me and a Pool of Astroglide". Although The Whore's toy box is evidently situated very close to the mic, wanking is strictly prohibited. Mon, 13 Feb 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 30:05 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode36.mp3 Preston is a snitch. AoMS joins the MySpace cult. The Whore does a "bad bad thing". Part one of Z.J. Maplin's "Sins Quietly" dons something frilly and dangles from the ceiling. Bid Bad Bruce sweats to the oldies and picks on the elderly. Sun, 05 Feb 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 22:00 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode35.mp3 The Word Whore sets her sights on a shiny new knickknack for her mantle. Robert - producer of the Shades of Democracy Podcast - waves his dirty "Picnic" accusingly in Button 's direction. EscapePod's Stephen Eley endorses The Whore's oral talents. Sun, 29 Jan 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 20:29 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode34.mp3 Facing the combined challenges of long distance recording, nasty head colds and confusing foreign cheeses; Preston Buttons and The Word Whore finally attempt their first episode of 2006. "War and Doom" - submitted by Doomed Moose - rekindles The Whore's affection for lava lamps and pirates. Buttons finally gets around to finishing his life size portrait of Delta Burke. Gene Roddenberry rolls over in his grave. Sat, 21 Jan 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 23:58 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode33.mp3 Merrily rum soaked, Preston Buttons and The Word Whore tie one on and slap a big red bow on the last episode of 2005. The real North Pole makes a disturbing appearance in "Santa Helps Himself" - a festive load dropped on AoMS by B.C. Hooker. The Whore stumbles on a new ice sculpture technique and the true source of Aurora Borealis rears its big ugly head. Link sacrifices a goat. Wed, 28 Dec 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 22:00 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode32.mp3 Brimming with the holiday spirit, Buttons and The Whore rip the wrapping off a gift that will keep on giving. "Travieso", by Malkavious Rostif, delivers a nice big package to a naughty little number. Electric Lee from NYC opens up his sack of toys and slips in a few unexpected plugs. Thu, 15 Dec 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 33:17 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode31.mp3 Preston Buttons and The Word Whore celebrate their thirtieth episode with an unforgivable lack of fanfare, balloons, strippers and cake. Dick Hurtz takes "Henry" on a heart warming holiday spree. Guido Grande chimes in to remind us to say no to drugs. Tue, 06 Dec 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 29:37 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode30.mp3 The Whore ponies up, whinnies for Prince, and accidentally gives birth to Godzilla. First time phone guest "Hot Rod" and anonymous story submission "Control" spin tales of fast rides, parked cars, and little women. Buttons accepts his lot in life and clings to The Word Whore's boots. Tue, 29 Nov 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 28:09 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode29.mp3 Just when you thought it was safe to look into the bowl, excerpts from "Poo" - by Dave Aldridge - takes AoMS "where no whore has gone before". After merciless probing with square objects, "Disco Lou" uncovers Buttons is not bumpy and The Word Whore is not "butt-friendly". Tue, 22 Nov 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 31:31 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode28.mp3 Buttons goes back into the closet. The Whore makes a mess in bed and gives "This Spot", by S. Butts, the flush. Professor Polymer shares the latest advances in the wonderful world of plastics. Preston finally pulls the plug. Sun, 13 Nov 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 25:16 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode27.mp3 Buttons decides women should watch where they put their bare arses. "How I Nearly Killed My Girlfriend's Puppy" - by That Girl - raises a digestion dilemma. The Whore urges men to scrub their winkies. 88 Fingers Willy sits to pee. Sun, 06 Nov 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 28:33 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode26.mp3 Prestacula and Whorevira rise from their coffins, slurp from bloody goblets and take a long scary "Walk In The Woods" with Ricardo Gonzalez for Halloween. Angry Phone Guy trumps the rich by making his own glass menagerie out of cat excrement. Mon, 31 Oct 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 36:38 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode25.mp3 A big burrito threatens to burn through Buttons' bowels. The Word Whore's blue mood turns a fiery red, when her post-show plans fall apart on the air and "Faller" - by Jules Delorme - taunts her with hockey and poetry. Banachek shares a little love, having found a real live human woman to keep him warm. Mon, 24 Oct 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 37:15 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode24.mp3 Preston comes clean with his 'caught in the act' story, but poems submitted by The Redheaded Cock Knocker leave both Buttons and The Whore feeling very dirty. Working Girl demonstrates what will undoubtedly be an extremely short-lived new career choice. The Word Whore confesses inappropriate carnal yearnings for Air Ferg. Mon, 17 Oct 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 35:25 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode23.mp3 Clutch Murphy has a bone to pick over Thanksgiving. Matteo Torretta adds some Italian zest. The Whore delights in discovering an unexpectedly kind AoMS mention on "The Rev Up Review", but it comes as no surprise when LINK shares way too much or when Buttons fiddles with his gear.. Wed, 13 Oct 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 31:56 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode22.mp3 Straining nipples threaten silk shirts everywhere, as The Word Whore pants her way through "Chance Encounter" by Shameless Flirt. Buttons fires off a loaded pump action gun. The Whore stands to pee. No longer 'introverted', Hot Tub Tammy shares her fantasies and sheds her clothes. Wed, 05 Oct 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 34:37 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode21.mp3 Preston Buttons and The Word Whore offer up an abridged conclusion to the 3-part "Dandy Fairytale" series by Michael Beckwith. The Whore's 'thigh-highs' get an unexpected work out. A messy 'art class', with 88 Fingers Willy, puts oven mitts and sock puppets in some sticky situations. Sun, 25 Sep 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 36:39 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode20.mp3 The Whore dons pigtails for a play date. An untitled story submission by 'Abbey Normal' barely surfaces between porn anecdotes and musical trips down memory lane. Buttons hoses down the studio. 'Lulu Fontaine' takes a bite out of The Big Apple, while her husband drafts blueprints for his midget-free fetish room. Wed, 14 Sep 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 36:22 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode19.mp3 Buttons makes commendable progress on a life-sized tribute to Delta Burke, while The Whore busies herself with small animals. An all-star ensemble rallies - from Middle Earth to San Dimas - for Chapter 2 of Michael Beckwith's fairytale series. 'Link' licks Labour Day Weekend wounds, barks up the wrong tree, steers clear of dinner plates and undesirable sandwiches. Tue, 06 Sep 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 35:48 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode18.mp3 Buttons and The Whore leave a lasting impression, though - from this day forward - both will live with the unsettling prospect of being struck down... either by The Almighty or Betty White. Phill Elliot digs yet another hole in his already crowded exotic pet cemetery and 'Angry Phone Guy' chimes in with more frighteningly slanderous celebrity ball-busting. Wed, 31 Aug 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 26:19 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode17.mp3 While Preston works diligently to finish off Mr. LaForce and his "stove-sized root balls", The Whore continues to find the lack of down and dirty detail difficult to swallow. A call to 'Working Girl' reveals membership really does have its privileges and surprises AoMS with their first ON AIR JOHN. Mon, 29 Aug 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 31:39 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode16.mp3 While "fast forward five hours" might make for nice alliteration, it leaves The Word Whore hungry for a play-by-play of the would-be 'Boston 3-Party' in "A Very Misty Morn" by Wade K. LaForce. This first half of a 2-Part episode (which also marks the TWO MONTH Anniversary of AoMS) includes an extremely rare on air parley with 'Big Bad Bruce' - released from confinement just for this call. Thu, 25 Aug 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 25:28 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode15.mp3 The Word Whore gets up close and personal with studio furnishings. Tim Clare taps his way back into our hearts. Rainy days and Mondays might always get Preston down, but topless cheerleaders get us all off. Sat, 20 Aug 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 27:08 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode14.mp3 Tired of mere boys trying, the Word Whore takes Michael Beckwith for a tumble. Preston's weekend in Richmond raises questions about "payload delivery" ethics among ambulance drivers everywhere. A call to Banacheck lands one step short and falls flat on its ass. Sun, 14 Aug 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 28:23 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode13.mp3 Buttons sustains actual physical abuse while airing out "Home" by Z.J. Maplin, but The Word Whore later comforts him with tea and dick. During a first time call to Independent Canadian Recording Artist - "LINK" - they learn of his preference for the produce section and an affinity for golden showers. Wed, 10 Aug 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 28:40 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode12.mp3 While taking it up one nostril and in one eye, Buttons and The Whore begin to air out a series of shorts submitted by Sam Keenan. Clothes break out, cougars pounce, vultures circle and a long-distance pillow fight ensues. Wed, 04 Aug 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 29:36 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode11.mp3 Preston uncovers big gaping holes in The Word Whore's aura, while airing out "The Blue Man" by Chris Strange. A call to 'Banachek' - conveniently accompanied by 'Ms. Dizz' - further complicates Revirginization Procedures and threatens lab rats everywhere. Fri, 29 Jul 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 37:59 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode10.mp3 Preston and The Whore celebrate the one month anniversary of their first episode, their rather shocking arrival on the "iTunes Top 100" in Canada, and the announcement of their first contest. Episode features " The Demon" by Dave Aldridge and a call to "Chef Lech". Mon, 25 Jul 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 31:04 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode09.mp3 Buttons and The Whore make the tragic mistake of recording in the wee hours after a long press-whorin' night out on the town. Bleary-eyed, slurred-word scientific discoveries are made... mind-boggling, age-old mysteries are solved. Somewhere in this train wreck of an episode, a short story may have been half-heartedly tackled. A call to 'South B'otch' and 'The Rope Maiden' turns everybody's brown eyes... PINK! Fri, 22 Jul 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 28:06 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode08.mp3 The Word Whore has a complete meltdown as she and Buttons foolishly subject themselves to a grueling 'on air' psycho-analysis at the hands of a visiting - obviously fraudulent - 'doctor'. A story submission by John Osborne uncovers The Whore's adventures in baby sitting. A call to 'Working Girl' confirms Preston's suicidal tendencies. Tue, 19 Jul 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 30:29 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode07.mp3 Buttons and The Whore crack the Bert and Ernie story. Preston helps Phillip Elliott spank his monkey. A lumpy park monkey gets up close and personal with unsuspecting tourists. A call to 'Uncle Underpants' finds him airing out his own dirty laundry. The Word Whore reveals her secret porn name. Thu, 14 Jul 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 33:32 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode06.mp3 The Word Whore drools over Tim Cure's gooey meat - reading new meaning into the most important meal of the day. Buttons pops his safety cap. 'Angry Phone Guy' rips into the Hilton's... twice. Wed, 12 Jul 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 30:29 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode05.mp3 The Word Whore, on location in South Beach, calls in for a special "Canada Day" episode and toys with a future career in phone sex. Buttons, less than energetic and far from enthusiastic, admits to engaging in a rather draining 'air guitar' session the night before and to missing his "sugar mama". "That Girl" helps us play 'hide-the-bong'. Fri, 01 Jul 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 28:20 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode04.mp3 Buttons and The Whore unintentionally affirm the negative effects of smoking, as they both gasp their way through "Catching Butterflies" by Jerry Vilhotti. The much anticipated first call to "Angry Phone Guy" (famous for telephone tirades played on certain unnamed College Radio Stations in Canada) finds him in an uncharacteristically good mood with nothing to scream about. Wed, 29 Jun 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 29:00 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode03.mp3 Faith restored by Bill Raison's delightful story submissions, Buttons and The Whore bravely demonstrate their complete lack of voice acting talent in "Jeffrey Lights Up". Mon, 27 Jun 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 27:51 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode02.mp3 Virgin Podcastors Buttons and The Whore lodge complaints against their (completely fictitious) new 'employers' and struggle through two lackluster short story submissions, in this rather shakey debut of "Air Out My Shorts". A call to "Mama's Boy" (Brian) puts the final nail in the coffin... where we should have promptly buried episode 1! Fri, 24 Jun 2005 21:00:00 -0500 yes 28:00 http://www.airoutmyshorts.com/shorts/episode01.mp3 http://api.feedburner.com/awareness/1.0/GetFeedData?uri=AirOutMyShorts