Buttons and the Whore http://www.theitspot.com Join podshow hosts Preston Buttons and The Word Whore as they clumsily narrate their way through submitted works of Short Fiction: often absentmindedly, always drunkenly, and completely unencumbered by any relevant credentials. Looking for a Serious Literary Discussion? Just Keep Right On Looking! Join podshow hosts Preston Buttons and The Word Whore as they clumsily narrate their way through submitted works of Short Fiction: often absentmindedly, always drunkenly, and completely unencumbered by any relevant credentials. en-us 2015 Wed, 24 Jun 2015 11:00:00 EST shorts@theitspot.com yes shorts@theitspot.com Buttons and The Whore Sex,Literature, Stories, Relationships,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Debate,Politics,Movies,Television 1 It is the Tenth Anniversary of the first ever episode of Air Out My Shorts and THE ROOF IS ON FIRE!! Eric Lehmann’s dyslexia leads to a fishy dish. James Bond... Made in Canada?? Pauly B Edwards hedges his bets on a real live girl, while The Right Rev Chumley LIVES THE DREAM of copyright-infringement-free costume carving. Wed, 24 Jun 2015 11:00:00 -0500 yes 01:25:12 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The King and Queen of “The Slush Pile” muse about their retirement and plug their much anticipated autobiography (celebratory parade to be held somewhere in Nawlins - TBA!). Fenwick Rixey sloughs off an unresolved secondhand tale of gay robs and fishy bitches. Dean shatters his dreamy image, but his wife picks up the smouldering pieces. Cyber smoke signals appreciated: 305-600-5832 Sun, 24 May 2015 11:00:00 -0500 yes Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons and The Whore reminisce about the dampening properties of Link’s DNA. DocZim stocks the mailbag, but risks a polite 10-Minute Canadian Shanking. Brian Lieberman readies himself for a soulless career and a B-DOOMED future family, but he’s ALL GROWED UP NOW and we think he’s gonna kick some serious A55! Wed, 01 Apr 2015 11:00:00 -0500 yes 41:07 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Seasons Greetings, to all, from Preston Buttons and The Word Whore. Thank you for your valued story submissions and your continued listenership. HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Please Call: 305-600-5832 Wed, 24 Dec 2014 11:00:00 -0500 yes 06:53 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Preston pretends to know nothing about picking through historical shit, while The Word Whore yanks her OWN chain …just a little too hard. TTN’s Scott STEALS (and then messes with) priceless Artifacts. MaxMax chimes in… literally. CALL NOW: 305-600-5832 Wed, 10 Dec 2014 11:00:00 -0500 yes 01:01:07 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons MaxMax serves up some swingin’ (yet, very unclear) alliterated alcopop. Banacek’s grasp of THE NEW 'promotional machine’ is as fuzzy as the machine itself. The Whore claims to have never put 'lips to rim’, despite what’s dribbling down her chin. Buttons ruins Christmas. Mon, 24 Nov 2014 11:00:00 -0500 yes 55:00 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Doczim lets Buttons and The Whore play with his fuzzy little “Hellspawn", against his fuzzy little ‘better judgements’. Orange is the new Navy. Twitter is the new Electro-Mechanical Rotor Cipher Machine. Here, Kitty Kitty. Wed, 29 Oct 2014 11:00:00 -0500 yes 45:17 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Something long and white and wriggling spews up from the mailbag, courtesy of ExParrot… it’s charming! Preston indulges his poly-curious wife, every other week, and The Word Whore sprouts a second head. Dodecahedron! Tue, 07 Oct 2014 11:00:00 -0500 yes 43:06 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Preston keeps his poor muttering 'missus' chained to the stove, without any ice-cream. Nobilis Reed pounds out "Lights in the Sky”. Dreamy Dean lets everyone down, again. The Word Whore fears she is being watched. And nobody breaks out in song. Mon, 22 Sep 2014 11:00:00 -0500 yes 38:11 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons gushes endlessly about bonding with TTN’s Scott, in Chicago, over pizza... it’s deep! Carter Lee’s Blood Fire Apes wish their mojo had never risen from the silent safety of the bag. Disco Lou set to marry his high school sweetheart... again! The Word Whore can no longer settle for Plan D. Mon, 25 Aug 2014 11:00:00 -0500 yes 53:17 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Hobbits and Dwarves and Trolls... Oh My!! Preston Buttons and The Word Whore make a steaming-hot-mess-pile of "O'Malley and The Gnome" by MaxMax. Dreamy Dean's aging rock-n-roll balls are holding up quite well, despite winter's bitter chill and Benicio Del Toro's firm grip. Sun, 16 Dec 2012 07:00:00 -0500 yes 51:57 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons For Preston Buttons, true romance is best served shrink-wrapped and vacuum-packed. Mike Dominic's purple prose dangles meatily from his giant Presbyterian plunger. The Whore Whore fearfully awaits the wrath of The French... and some people actually called the codio-aumment line!!! Sun, 21 Oct 2012 07:00:00 -0500 yes 52:49 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Official AOMS Drinking Game has resurfaced! Preston Buttons hangs up his air guitar. Witch Doctors attack The Word Whore with an airborne shoehorn. The thrilling conclusion of Brian (BDOOMED) Lieberman's "Atrophy and Apathy" is aired out... AND the winner of the first ever Air Out My Shorts Summer Raffle, ever, is announced!!! Mon, 17 Sep 2012 07:00:00 -0500 yes 48:15 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Preston Buttons goes into labor. The Word Whore just can't get a grip. Brian Lieberman has a bad case of the varsity blues (or what would be referred to on the Mediocre Show as "white people problems"), in part one of the promised BDOOMED graduation episode special. Disco Lou voulez-effin-vous his way around Europe. Meh! Sat, 08 Sep 2012 07:00:00 -0500 yes 53:57 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Word Whore throws up in public and there is much rejoicing! Doczim bends over backwards to bring us another PLOT PLUNGER plunge, but he buggers it all up. While Banacek claims to be recovering quite well from his latest marriage, he's already seeking out "the widow maker". Hotness decreases with age... Go figure. Fri, 31 Aug 2012 07:00:00 -0500 yes 47:24 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Mrs. Buttons becomes a Monk. Das Rad is Das Loud. Simon Green "Trolls" the Interwebs. Brian (B-Doomed) Lieberman is "all growed up" and making his generous parents proud by dabbling in porn. Happy Birthday Word Whore! Wed, 08 Aug 2012 07:00:00 -0500 yes 1:01:47 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Preston Buttons fancies himself an enlightened Renaissance Man. Katherine Heigl is the new Midol. Unlike The Word Whore, it would seem Nobilis Reed's new orally-gifted "Girlfiend" DOES have a tail. Despite high hopes, Angry Phone Guy stays in his box. Ribbit. Wed, 01 Aug 2012 07:00:00 -0500 yes 30:30 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons gets hot and wet and suddenly becomes much more interesting to The Word Whore. MaxMax 'tickles the fancy' of the wrong rodents, but it's consensual. Layers of Freudian layers are peeled, as The Mediocre Show's "Lady Tomorrow" makes The Whore all warm and fuzzy. Disco Lou gets old. Run Cannon, Run. Sun, 22 Jul 2012 07:00:00 -0500 yes 40:59 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons puts a sock on it. Kevin Smith makes The Whore sad. Tim (Rhys!) Davies deletes his first draft and "counts", instead, on his cleaning woman's succulent lobes. Steve Eley scrapes a dead gecko off The Word Whore's boob, but steers clear of her vestigial tail. Mon, 16 Jul 2012 07:00:00 -0500 yes 53:47 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons All the veils drop as Preston Buttons and The Word Whore scratch their seven-year itch, commit a few deadly sins, and bring you all the wonders of the world on this 7th Anniversary episode of Air Out My Shorts. Steve (The General) Eley suffers from Penis Envy. Countless Argonauts stop Screaming. MaxMax gets on his high horse. More than seven braincells were harmed in the making of this podcast. Mon, 25 Jun 2012 07:00:00 -0500 yes 1:08:29 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons And so it begins... the Zombie Apocalypse: last one to the safe house is a (not-quite-yet) rotten egg! Joseph Jolton elects to give Preston a sore throat, cuz he isn't getting enough action at home. Herr Hardluck experiences a little car trouble on the MacArthur Causeway. If "love is all around", The Word Whore might just make it after all. Sun, 12 Jun 2012 07:00:00 -0500 yes 57:00 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Preston Buttons likes dick, just a little more than The Whore does. A nice clean Dwarf named Hortenfangle takes a tasty little Plot Plunge... MEDIC!! Ryan Saunders claims ownership of Steve Eley's snot. Amber agrees to get naked, if The Word Whore will tell her what to do. TTN's Scott strangles a cat. Fri, 18 May 2012 07:00:00 -0500 yes 37:58 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons AOMS 2012 "Come Back Tour" kicks off in NYC (with KATG) and crashes near Chicago, after plundering TTN's 250th Episode. Thomas Sullivan writes in on fancy new fangled post-its. The Whore doesn't know SHIT from SHINOLA when it comes to baseball, but she's certain Bass Players do always come second (Lead Singers consistently get first crack). Buttons takes a whiz in the TARDIS. Wed, 25 Apr 2012 07:00:00 -0500 yes 52:07 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons TWW doesn't take kindly to the role of damsel in distress, but Sir Micheal Beckwith rides in on his trusty steed to stave off a close call "pod fade" and to spur AoMS back into lackluster action. Buttons drives like an old woman. Fri, 26 Aug 2011 07:00:00 -0500 yes 23:03 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Although Lagomorph's "Plausible Reality" reads more like inconceivable fantasy, it leaves an unbleachable mark on The Word Whore's soul. "The General" (S. F. Eley) artfully ESCAPES his Salinger-esque reclusion, just to pop Preston's three-way cherry. Wed, 04 May 2011 07:00:00 -0500 yes 46:58 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons and The Whore play catch up, but the refrigerator gets away and the freezer remains a challenge. Preston falls under the EMO spell of Macedo's (muh-SAY-doe's) "Bad Kids". Angry Phone Guy rails against becoming The Word Whore's mule. Tue, 29 Mar 2011 07:00:00 -0500 yes 26:03 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Turns out Mama's squeezebox and Papa's brand new bag are one in the same. The theme thong does belong in the toilet. The Whore debuggers censorship, Hashashan rebells, and Miss Holloway designs a tissue dispenser worthy of the cover of Good Housekeeping. Wed, 12 jan 2011 07:00:00 -0500 yes 40:54 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Whore struggles with a mouthful of metal, while getting rubbed the wrong way by alotta vegetable shortening. Buttons brings all the gadgets to the party, but his tiny fingers can't do the walking. Professor Swayze picks Full Monty over Peeping Tom. Banacek explores his hungry Episcopalian side. Sat, 27 nov 2010 07:00:00 -0500 yes 49:16 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons This Halloween, The Word Whore talks about something totally else. Buttons finally erases his head. Hugh O'Donnell airs out his North American armpit and his 85 year old meat. Keith McNally --afraid of heights and of taking a shot in the dark-- exhibits no fear of being on top. Sat, 30 Oct 2010 07:00:00 -0500 yes 35:56 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Word Whore is a teeny tiny bit WAY TOO DRUNK, but that's another story. Still, Astromat is kind enough to take time out from "The War" to launder her pants after a night of level one cow tipping. Buttons finds time to stop and smell the roses, even after Metamucil. Fri, 15 Oct 2010 07:00:00 -0500 yes 40:07 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons likes brown butts and he cannot lie. The Whore's family tree is infested. The Countless Screaming Argonauts conduct experiments on a plethora of penguin droppings. 191 Randall Crescent checks his teeth at the door, so he can speak fluent trailer park. Sun, 19 Sep 2010 07:00:00 -0500 yes 47:12 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Word Whore is Cee Lo Green with envy that Jacquetta COULD have it: it was in her face and she DID grab it. A pudgy little man, with a head for radio, helps Just-a-Joe give "Swimming With Sharks" a Makeover. Buttons might know what love is, if only he could pass inspection and enjoy the go. Wed, 08 Sep 2010 07:00:00 -0500 yes 46:53 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons and The Whore walk like mummified Egyptians down memory-loss lane, but all roads lead to Rome. Jules Quinn takes a Nimbus MM to his "Writer's Block". Captain Peter (Easton) Wilkins rewinds back to MDCX to perform acts of Rock-n-Roll Piracy in front of the Prime Minister. Sat, 28 Aug 2010 07:00:00 -0500 yes 49:41 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Five years down the drain, but Buttons and The Whore are flushed with excitement. Undarlegt reveals what's beneath his Icelandic pants, Banacek tries to C'Mon to Dreamy Dean, and Link drops a few Anniversary surprises. Fri, 02 Jul 2010 07:00:00 -0500 yes 01:07:51 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Oh no, it's happening again! Buttons and The Whore get buzzed on Sesame Street, Hashashan gets cold feet, and nobody wants to even think about that Egg Hunt. Thu, 24 Jun 2010 07:00:00 -0500 yes 37:51 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Preston wants to be a part of it, while The Whore just seems intimidated by Keith Malley's Triple Threat status and his new foray into Fine Art. Dave Stites is truly awesome, and also boasts true awesomeness, but he has clearly never given NOR received a BJ. Mon, 21 Jun 2010 07:00:00 -0500 yes 23:55 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons finally forces The Word Whore to examine his banana. Magic mushrooms in the shower cause recurring fungal flashbacks. Katie is a girl!! But, once she grows some balls, the evening is totally wasted. Tue, 01 Jun 2010 07:00:00 -0500 yes 26:22 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Preston's semi-annual trip to the grocery store raises a few eyebrows. Mister A. Bell cuckolds the Drabblecast in three short spurts. Slurrishessly, the Word Whore ponders how often one should plug. Mon, 30 Apr 2010 07:00:00 -0500 yes 47:26 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Having adopted Paganism for all the naked snakes, The Word Whore washes Preston's Catholic mouth out with the Blarney Stone. Z J Maplin stops being such a stranger - SCHWING! Party on, Whore. Party on, Buttons. Mon, 26 Apr 2010 07:00:00 -0500 yes 57:13 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons is a busy man. The Word Whore is very aware of her bathing suit area. MaxMax's candy-ass dragon mixes it with love-is-a-battlefield and makes the world taste like Cat Stevens. Mon, 12 Apr 2010 07:00:00 -0500 yes 47:26 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons stalks The Word Whore's Aunt. The Word Whore stalks James Purefoy. Life clocks are a lie. Carousel is a lie. Hair sniffing has never seemed so dirty. No one has to die at 30! Fri, 12 Mar 2010 07:00:00 -0500 yes 27:46 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons clenches. The Word Whore drifts. Jon and Scott still need tetanus shots, after pummel-assing a short hyena. Hashashan boom-boom-pows a buddy for a teriyaki tongue sandwich. Fri, 05 Mar 2010 07:00:00 -0500 yes 35:50 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Word Whore chastises children and smites sunflowers. Brian Lieberman offers a burnt sacrifice and snuffs a bush. Preston would sow some seeds, but he lacks the constant flow of nutrients to his stem. Fri, 19 Feb 2010 07:00:00 -0500 yes 35:31 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Canada is big. Keith McNally gets a chance. Starman serves up a mean bottle of Mad Dog 20/20. Buttons is forced to find his voice, because The Word Whore's is infected. Fri, 05 Feb 2010 07:00:00 -0500 yes 24:54 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons With or without professional dancing bugs, Buttons might get old before he dies. The Word Whore Shatners all over Francis Scott Key and his little internet pimp too. Thu, 04 Feb 2010 07:00:00 -0500 yes 29:40 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons and The Whore suffer a minor story stroke and accidentally rehash Hashashan (complete with identical banter, all these "years" later). Thankfully, BDOOMED is on hand with the vaseline to help put it away wet... again. Wed, 30 Dec 2009 07:00:00 -0500 yes 52:51 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Those who can't do, teach. Those who can't teach, counsel. Oh, the ironing! The Whore has sketchy memories of her noisy chinese roomate's strap-ons. Nobilis throws a hen party: pack a lunch, BYO (juice) Box. Tue, 29 Dec 2009 07:00:00 -0500 yes 29:39 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Word Whore likes it white and floppy. Dustin Manly loves to waggle his fishy bits, but finds it rather hard to smile with his pants down. Buttons takes an octuple shhhhhhh and swims in it. Wed, 09 Dec 2009 07:00:00 -0500 yes 27:59 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Fancy butt bling settles Preston's upset stomach. The Word Whore (clearly under the influence of agrarian pharmaceuticals and cheese) plunders Hashashan's village, pillages the faux French Bible, and puts it all away wet. Wed, 02 Dec 2009 07:00:00 -0500 yes 29:05 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Last call for monkeyishness! Buttons, well into his first trimester, fails to get the creative juices flowing under the tell-tale black-light. Doc Zim endeavors to erupt and fill the bag, just to hear The Whore gasp for air. Fri, 30 Oct 2009 07:00:00 -0500 yes 35:21 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Keith McNally's quest for beaver is not unpleasant. AoMS wins the Nobilis prize. The Word Whore exercises her squatter's rights, Buttons stares at goats, and somebody (outside of New York) definitely sucks. Wed, 21 Oct 2009 07:00:00 -0500 yes 28:33 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons plays with his shortwave radio. Mike Dominic pulls a spoonful of "McGonegal" out of his carpet bag. The Word Whore learns Navaho in hopes of becoming another numbered honey-glazed ham smuggler. Thu, 15 Oct 2009 07:00:00 -0500 yes 36:03 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons gets caught spooning at the movie theatre. Aria Solomon visits the doctor and opens wide. Some fishy broads lure porn-stars to their payload, while Ancient Egyptians car-jack The Word Whore's brain. Wed, 07 Oct 2009 07:00:00 -0500 yes 29:18 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons 88 Fingers Willy delivers the mail. AOMS is forced to settle for General Eley's sloppy seconds, in lieu of stories, and user-submitted urine samples, in lieu of cash. The Whore is finally put out to pasture. Tue, 29 Sep 2009 07:00:00 -0500 yes 36:37 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons strays from his flock. The Word Whore makes an offering to the porcelain god. Doc Zim forces Ryan Saunders to wear flip-flops in Hell. The Right Rev Chumley bathes in sacramental wine. Fri, 18 Sep 2009 07:00:00 -0500 yes 38:31 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons jacks up a healthy spike, despite technical difficulties. AOMS exhumes Phil Foster. After having completely blown her roving reporter role, The Whore passes out under a warm Amish soap box. Tue, 15 Sep 2009 07:00:00 -0500 yes 22:29 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Word Whore soaks the final frontier. An Entertainment Troupe tries to change the station, but falls into a prophesied void. Send AOMS your stories. Jazz hands. Cha. Thu, 23 Jul 2009 07:00:00 -0500 yes 24:23 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons continues to reject all signs of the apocalypse. Brian Lieberman cries out for a bloody coffee break. Against all odds, AOMS's four-year fungal infection persists. Wed, 22 Jul 2009 07:00:00 -0500 yes 31:46 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Preston Buttons spews his seedy secrets, while The Whore blows her own horn. Creepy or not, Graham from Canada chooses double-entry and a veritable flood of AoMS hotline callers are foiled again. Wed, 08 Jul 2009 07:00:00 -0500 yes 28:22 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons AoMS runs away from the circus to relive prepubescent glory days. Preston asks Marianne Faithfull for his bum back. The Whore is perplexed by elective sex. Sir Michael's "LUST" gets a hands-down "thumbs up", although it might be best for Buttons to "tuck it away for awhile". Thu, 04 Jun 2009 07:00:00 -0500 yes 31:26 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Word Whore swings both ways. Phil Collins is a KATG groupie. Charlie Sheen has been shellacked. Buttons finds shiny bits of Harry Potter in his potty. Void Munashii's neo-noir cinderella story, "Nick Iron and the Case of the Lost Shoe", dispenses an expanse of thigh. Wed, 12 May 2009 07:00:00 -0500 yes 34:50 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Preston yaks up a Manhattan for KATG. MaxMax claims "Asha" is new, but The Whore had already seen it, Buttons already owned the album, and The Right Rev Chumley erstwhile erected its Church. Neapolitan socks don't taste like strawberries and yet incense by any other name would smell as sweet. Fri, 08 May 2009 07:00:00 -0500 yes 34:03 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Preston Buttons makes a new friend. The Whore isn't fooling anybody. Stephanie Scarborough makes room on her rusty casting couch for a scotch-swilling EMO cowboy. Mickey Rooney survives the apocalypse. Wed, 22 Apr 2009 07:00:00 -0500 yes 23:22 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Beloved medic, DocZim, revives AoMS from parts unknown. Asheron Razorbeam shaves off a short short in his sleep. Preston Buttons furrows his upper eye-sockets when light penetrates The Word Whore's ass-cam. Wed, 07 Apr 2009 07:00:00 -0500 yes 29:34 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Word Whore proves it's all been done. MaxMax puts the faux-fur-trim on his sisters nakedity. Banacek hits the bricks, because beer is for closers. Buttons reveals plans to smuggle a busload of Native Canadians into the States. Mon, 02 Mar 2009 07:00:00 -0500 yes 40:38 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons loses another leading man. The Whore tires of limb-dropping leprechauns and gives hamsters another go. Jukebox Review hosts, Honey and Dick, know lubrication is the key. Angry Phone Guy's anger management classes have really paid off, unless you're a Honey who's hiding a Dick. Tue, 27 Jan 2009 07:00:00 -0500 yes 28:41 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Whore safeguards Preston's mattress against years of Irish Spring. Yukio breaks out the champagne and teaches the Poles a thing or two about going Dutch. Lulu Fontaine finds Jesus and draws the line at Meth. Tue, 18 Nov 2008 07:00:00 -0500 yes 26:51 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Fish feeds on Preston's stomach contents and Chad's leftovers. Johnny Favourite plays hide the sausage with 10,000 Maniacs. Belinda Carlisle gets the clap, but The Whore's lips are sealed. Chris Elliot continues to live. Tue, 21 Oct 2008 07:00:00 -0500 yes 34:23 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Preston wins another wet T-shirt contest. Clooney misses his true calling, once more, but sometimes that's just how the cooch curdles. Having failed to check expiration dates, Doctor Wood spoils a perfectly good "Sunday Afternoon". Bartender Matt helps The Whore pick out a new pillow. Tue, 23 Sep 2008 07:00:00 -0500 yes 38:05 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Preston's car-bombing license is revoked due to Alzheimer's. The Word Whore voluntarily enters a facility for the treatment of sex addiction. Sanchez sacrifices eternal life to appease the furry masses and Banachek drowns in a sea of virgin cougars. Thu, 11 Sep 2008 07:00:00 -0500 yes 37:40 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Mike Dominic floods the AoMS studios after studying horny hamsters, but that's another story. Dreamy Dean reinvents the rock 'n' roll death. Best Boy Electric, You Know Bernie You Know Bernstein, can't get a grip on his gaffer. Thu, 14 Aug 2008 07:00:00 -0500 yes 38:57 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons sniffs out the homeless. Josh (The Listener) totally gives away "The End of The Movie". The Word Whore riffles through Tarantino's wank-o-dex with her bare toes. 191 Randall Crescent has to ferment the fruit before planting his seed, but he'll happily share the sloppy seconds. Fri, 18 Jul 2008 07:00:00 -0500 yes 41:06 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons AoMS rolls around in the warm squelchy aftermath of their much celebretated 100th. The Whore edits lamb screams from her Moussaka. A big fat Greek conflict prevents Preston from a life of piracy. John Doer doesn't know her, but he does dabble in dwarf tossing. Tue, 08 Jul 2008 07:00:00 -0500 yes 31:01 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Just-a-Joe helps AoMS drag its sorry lagging arse into year 3 -- w000t! Drunk with power, The Whore blows another mic. Ernst and Young count Buttons offspring before they hatch. Chad Hanson spreads his ash, as Jim Henson rolls over in his grave. Be careful where you dip your quarter-chicken, Canada is a nice clean place. Wed, 25 Jun 2008 07:00:00 -0500 yes 59:28 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Word Whore takes a vow of silence. I Am Webster flashes his jugs. Dreamy Dean manages to conceal his privates, even while rolling off the rock, but Buttons brazenly unclasps his semi-wooden cloister. Fri, 30 May 2008 07:00:00 -0500 yes 34:05 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons enjoys himself. The Whore gets stupider. William Grant Preston does "The Deed" in a dark park with Marky Mark and Slutty McSlutSlut drops the soap. Fri, 11 Apr 2008 07:00:00 -0500 yes 52:35 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Afternoon regurgitation turns Buttons green with envy. Joseph J Jolton polishes a petrified piece of Victorian feces. The Word Whore exhumes a canine corpse. Edible big bully King Minos Del Toro rallies a rabble regime, but it's all Greek to AoMS. Mon, 31 Mar 2008 07:00:00 -0500 yes 52:56 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons masters the telephone. Void Munashii squeezes into his ess-less unitard to fend off Gap-happy zombies in "Mallville". The Word Whore advocates tough love for self-loathing snipers. Disco Lou goes down all day long, even after his wing-man falls flat. They paved paradise and put up Mississauga. Wed, 28 Feb 2008 07:00:00 -0500 yes 44:28 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The new Pauly B action figure comes with its own cancer-causing comb-over cream-rinse. Lord Felton Pole reveals the secret to a successful marriage. 88 Fingers Willy flounders under parental lock down. The Whore helps vain elephants turn a lighter shade of grey and Buttons finds religion. Sun, 24 Feb 2008 07:00:00 -0500 yes 34:53 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Whore is chronologically challenged. Fish shares his meat treat with Colonel Chicken Diddler, while Buttons suffers a stroke. Banacek rolls back from Sin City without his hand-cannon. What happens in The Gun Store, should probably stay in The Gun Store. Wed, 30 Jan 2008 07:00:00 -0500 yes 51:04 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons AOMS inspires the first scratch-n-sniff Farmer's Almanac. Winter rips Buttons a new one. Bill Clinton leaves an indelible mark on the lesbian community. Maqx gets mad enough to make "Mel" sing soprano. 191 Randall goes for the jugular and The Word Whore finds decapitated roosters a little tough to swallow. Sun, 20 Jan 2008 07:00:00 -0500 yes 46:20 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons 1998, the unofficial year of the hedgehog, rolls out with a rodent-infested fable by S.J. Marky and a still-un-beta-tested MacDaddy GMG debut. Preston goes back to school to learn to party like a pope. The Whore's alpha tail theory is full of gassy bacterial holes and the land down under becomes a safe haven for pie-dodging Irish possums. Tue, 15 Jan 2008 07:00:00 -0500 yes 47:42 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons sheds a short and curly. The Word Whore is googley peeved. Preston Buttons Jr tops it off with some royally spoofed special sauce. Dreamy Dean hangs, so the hotline (305-76-SHOWS) gets a long overdue D 'n' C. Tue, 18 Dec 2007 07:00:00 -0500 yes 34:53 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons This ain't AoMS. This is genocide. As they pulled Mary Kate out of the oxygen tent, Electric Lee asked for the latest party. In Wyeth's clever bunk, "How To" profit-dump, smart like The Whore he was. Preston Buttons freak he was. So pick through that bowl on your hands and knees. The diamond logs are shredders and they hide inside feces. Thu, 29 Nov 2007 07:00:00 -0500 yes 49:52 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Preston Buttons and The Word Whore serve up two heaping helpings of Purple Puddle Nut Pie. Jack Black gets no slack. Buttons has no seeds. The Whore pimps out the two of them. Happy Halloween. This is not the best episode in the world. It's a tribute. Mon, 29 Oct 2007 07:00:00 -0500 yes 45:10 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Rock 'n' roll is complicated. Escape Pod's Steve Eley spews all over the Expo. Buttons bakes a Hell's Angels Food Cake. In the Navy, DocZim can check out your disease. In the Navy, yes, you can contract STDs. The Whore begs for mercy. Mon, 15 Oct 2007 07:00:00 -0500 yes 43:23 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Whore lets Preston hitch his insignificant wagon to her crap-purveying star. Young Bulls guard family jewels from dear old Dad. "Demon Hunter", by Dan Manning, is much better than dirt. Buttons shops in The Underworld because redheads prefer brown, but Scott (TTN) won't wear satin to ward off Pauly B 's pond-crossing beer fingers. Sun, 16 Sep 2007 07:00:00 -0500 yes 48:30 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Kevin Smith threatens to foul up Festivas Tet!Anus. Shane Passon and Amy Mann lure exploratory foragers down their crumb-laden treasure trails in "The Colony". Strapping on Super-slider Snow Skates and setting his sights on Aspen, Angry Phone Guy tears yet another sparkly strip off the well-to-do. Mon, 03 Sep 2007 07:00:00 -0500 yes 32:24 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Preston pees on the competition. The Whore staggers back to her roots. Mark Duhe's "Reclamation" runs Native American gymnasts and contorted eunuchs out of Kansas. Dreamy Dean gets a grip on his inner fluffer, prompting Link to run away and join the circus Mon, 27 Aug 2007 07:00:00 -0500 yes 39:41 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Much to Preston's audible dismay, Shaggy Fancy Pants staggers by the AoMS studio to get boozed and bring sexy back. The Word Whore adds a large dose of frankness to her 'to do' list. "Broken Angels" - a FISH story of figurines loved and lost – gets much more lost than loved, in this beer-soaked trainwreck from the cutting room floor. Tue, 07 Aug 2007 07:00:00 -0500 yes 28:20 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Preston paints Pottahawk pink. The Word Whore liberates Bula Bula Bada. Buttons performs ritualistic circumcision on Phil Foster's "Cuban Smokes" and - after riding a wave in the wake of an old Sedan - a busload of octogenarians guide Earl The Pearl through the Kama Sutra. Thu, 19 Jul 2007 07:00:00 -0500 yes 38:27 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons ZZ Top cancels Brazilian tour to save face. Toronto men renounce routine foot care. Just-a-Joe goes way "Over The Edge". Trapper's Better Half keeps his meat clean. Buttons just found a brand new box of matches and what he knows The Whore ain't had time to learn. Mon, 25 Jun 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 39:40 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons bends over backwards to pay his rent. The Whore gets wrapped up in wordy nudistism. A full year past all expectation, the ink finally dries on Kennah's "Final Draft". Inept call-screener, 88 Fingers Willy, fishes for pearls and farms out his lucky prostate. Thu, 14 Jun 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 27:13 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Addiction lands The Whore an on-call Priest. Buttons gets taken out by a swinging boob. Batman isn't supposed to be beautiful, Mike Dominic gives his roommate some static, and Angry Phone Guy picks out just the right bag to go with his stain-resistant frock...for the Prom. Mon, 28 May 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 31:04 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons gets creamed. The Word Whore, delightfully wasted, plasters a big fat one on a local escort. Stunt Pig tells "Edna" where to go. The official AoMS hotline (305-76-SHOWS) finally gets a long overdue spring cleaning, though it really could have done with a proper douching. Mon, 14 May 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 28:42 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Whore's infectious new brand of lip-service might swell heads, but the bubble bursts when it comes to keeping anal stuff in its place. Still dripping from his last nasal deployment, Ryan Saunders knows bio-warfare's snot a laughing matter. Preston fights for the right to bleed. Escape Pod's Steve Eley confirms it ain't easy being green and fatherhood is forever. Tue, 23 Apr 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 44:16 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Word Whore gives 300 Spartans a good sound lickin', but cannot get Buttons to leak his boobie secrets. William Kelly whips out "The Family Jewels". Disco Lou makes sure The Whore's nipples are covered, while his 'friend' tidies things up in Man World. Tue, 17 Apr 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 33:11 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Flagrant misuse leads to the removal of TWW's box. Stephen Eley's "Year of the Fox" continues to explore some very slippery slopes. A lifelong aversion to mathematics finally limits The Word Whore in bed. Buttons fears fatist slurs may effect T-shirt sales. First time call to Earl The Pearl sends large slobbering dogs howling. Tue, 11 Apr 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 37:30 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons punches himself in the face, as The Whore digs five years worth of sand from the grill. Shelly has big boobies. Lulu has a perfect package. Part one of "Year of the Fox" by The General - Escape Pod's Stephen Eley - reeks of humus. Angry Phone Guy isn't allowed to yell at us anymore. Mon, 10 Apr 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 30:54 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Preston pulls out all the stops and finds it to be a bad idea. The Whore goes blind doing double phone duty. The ghost in the machines set the night on fire. "Conduit" by jethro6mil is electrifying. Thu, 29 Mar 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 26:31 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons numbs himself to the pain, while The Whore whips up a batch of daddy goo. Judy Dench still has a shot at a hat-trick. Nicole unleashes a tasty tuft of poorly compensated discomfort in "Model Wanted". Dreamy Dean orders some beer and doubles your toothless-padded-french-goalie-fetish pleasure. Link smells bad. Wed, 07 Mar 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 35:26 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Trapper John and Hot-Lips-Hawk-Eye accidentally cross primary instruments in a Virginian MASH pit. Feces flinging monkeys invade the AoMS studio. Jesse's girl, Jessica, forgoes robots and rabbits to risk marital bliss for "Him", while Buttons leaks the top-secret plot-line of HP7. There's a place for bad jokes, but there is not always room for Jello. The Whore finds Link's funny bone. JustaJoe puts his mouth where his keyboard is. Mon, 26 Feb 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 34:45 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons It's a celebration of death and VD, broadcast from a crumb-free hobbit-size toilet-seat. While Preston's morals preclude intimate wee-wee dinners and veto roofie distribution plans, they do not rule out sending herpes by mail. Prince's next evolution may challenge whether or not Ms. Whore sure likes to ball. A team of EMTs try to resuscitate Rich Gibson's "Motorcycle". Sir Michael wears nice pants. Wed, 14 Feb 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 34:49 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Word Whore faces a concrete case of elephantiasis. Buttons gets busted for playing air guitar. Big Johnny's off his game. "Sex For Grades", by Nobilis, makes Preston sweat and teaches The Whore a better way to die. Someone's sneaking 'round the corner, is the someone Link The Knife? Mon, 05 Feb 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 25:18 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons finds a little Jamaican hiding in his family tree. Belinda uncorks her "Masterpiece". Dom Joly's Bitch gives The Word Whore an excuse to polish her harness and the lost "Spooge" recordings turn up somewhere in Newfoundland. Mon, 15 Jan 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 33:54 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Preston decides to cure Polio and rubs Peter Jackson the wrong way. Wikipedia snubs The Whore. Fellow podcasting barfly, Will Ross, leaves an "Aftertaste". Balls-out rock'n'roller, Dreamy Dean, defuzzes his luggage for the debut performance of "BOB". Sun, 07 Jan 2007 08:00:00 -0500 yes 27:41 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons is smashed. The Whore misses out on some good clean fun. Phil Foster dreams of a Pink Christmas. Banacheck rubs elbows with aging television stars and spewing headbangers. Sat, 30 Dec 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 34:36 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons and The Whore rejoice in the holiday spirit, celebrate the simple things, and stuff. "MDK", by Mikkel from Denmark, smells faintly of fancy french pigs. Preston tracks down first ever AoMS story submitter, Trapper, in Virginia. Chuck Woolery reeks havoc in the PlayPen. Special thanks to forum members JustaJoe and Jessica. Wed, 20 Dec 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 39:20 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Preston plugs unfriendly beaver. The Word Whore unknowingly sends TTN listeners on a wild goose chase. "Drinkathon", by Stuntpig, induces cravings for pigs feet, chocolate bars, and potato omelette. Lulu Fontaine digs funk from under her fingernails and dons a hard-earned pair of new shoes. Tue, 12 Dec 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 35:05 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Whore comes up for air via Skype after blowing for dollars, drunk-dialing, and milking Phil McCracken Whitcomb's pants. David Ihnen's "The Very Good Rat" sets Buttons' balls a twitchin' and rumors of Working Girl's death prove to have been only mildly exaggerated. Wed, 29 Nov 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 31:04 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Whore's dignity is battered once again. Buttons hides behind his "Peeps". "The Mind of Insanity" by Jonathan Hunter Dare makes Buttons yearn for world control. Mygraine from the AOMS forums gives a new meaning to the phrase "cashing out". Thu, 09 Nov 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 33:16 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons pimps his rye. The Whore Sautes some ninety-year-old shrimp. Doomed Moose bears it all in "A Scary Night". Mama's Boy fakes a leaky faucet to avoid holiday hotdogs. Mon, 30 Oct 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 37:20 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons auditions for TOMMY, while a very phlegmy Word Whore gets behind math, science, geometry, and the latest hot tip from Link. The Amusement Ride, by David Smith, spirals out of orbit. Angry Phone Guy orders a salad. Sun, 29 Oct 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 34:00 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons AoMS says YES to minty fresh Brits. Preston serenades fellow podcasting 'sidekick' Tony Hearn. Ryan Saunders touches Buttons in all the right places, with a little help from "Sid and Zoe". Despite unanimous listener opinion, Big Johnny gets another shot. The Whore accidentally reveals her best kept anti-aging secret. Tue, 17 Oct 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 32:13 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Word Whore chokes on Preston's jerk chicken. Outraged by negative listener feedback, Big Johnny tries to highjack the airwaves. Preston Buttons Junior lovingly recalls "A Day with Dad". Law-talking ex-glam-rocker, Lionel Hutts, joins AoMS for an unauthorized tribute to the real Rat Pack. Mon, 16 Oct 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 29:18 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Punky's Pauly B. delivers "Always Fighting" in lieu of his wife. Olfactory observations unearth a crock of kippers 'n' applesauce. Link drops his Gangsta facade, although he's still packin'. Buttons and The Whore commit a blood-curdling crime of passion. Wed, 27 Sep 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 37:33 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Preston Buttons dances and breaks out the bubbly, while Vince Vaughn's leavings dribble from The Whore. Luke's "Cherries 'n' Cream" shames Shakespeare. A call with Craig from the Tangents Podcast leads to the long-overdue discovery that Art Garfunkle, Richard Simmons, and Ronald MacDonald are all, in fact, the same person. Wed, 20 Sep 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 30:39 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Preston Buttons jams with countrified lesbians, plays a 'bit-part' in LOTR, and sets his sights on the King's deer. Ricardo Gonzales offers up a sweet, tightly-wrapped little treat. The Word Whore challenges Disco Lou to a 'twink-off' and everything's coming up Millhouse. Fri, 15 Sep 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 31:31 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons changes his name to Keith and almost actually comes out. The Toronto International Film Festival starts oiling up The Word Whore's rusty revolving door. A submission by Poet oozes through gaping cracks in AoMS content standards. Just-a-Joe blows hot and cold in the first edition of a new segment: "Outta The Word Whore's Mouth". Tue, 12 Sep 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 26:34 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons slinks out of his sopping apartment, lets down his back-hair, and gums his way through long-overdue listener comments. Phil Foster breaks out of AoMS in-box imprisonment to offer up "The Gift". Tiny hands wield an enormous broom. Link drops in to butter The Word Whore's biscuit. Mon, 29 Aug 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 28:10 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Preston threatens to spontaneously combust, as The Word Whore's dysfunctional mouth spills out all of Angry Phone Guy's sword-fighting secrets. Part two of "Calchas", by Dave Aldridge, decomposes after a wormy bout of consumption. The Whore rules out another 'entry' as unwilling. Buttons breaks his promise to the proper Mrs. E. Mon, 21 Aug 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 27:56 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Word Whore hits high celebrity as stiffly as she can. Buttons' recurring crabs cause him to lose face. A painful phonecall to Big Johnny drives the hosts to look for an escape. Part 1 of "Calchas" by Dave Aldridge has the Whore dreaming of tall shiny towers of manhood. Mon, 14 Aug 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 37:51 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Reunited after seven months, Buttons and the Whore find they have nothing to say to one another. Post Punky stress leaves Buttons beaten. The whore takes double fisting to it's next logical level. The surreal "Good Morning Toronto" by Stunt Pig brings Buttons honking to the ledge. A birthday call to 88 Fingers Willy finds him looking to clean house. Sat, 22 Jul 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 33:48 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Clean-shaven and sporting modern pants, Buttons and The Whore celebrate the One-Year Anniversary of AOMS. Spiderman's package shrivels at the silver tongue of a slippery little green fellow. "Tempting The Nerd", by Paul B. Edwards from PUNKY! Radio, smashes Preston's arsehole. TTN makes The Whore feel really really dirty. Mon, 26 Jun 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 43:23 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Word Whore suspects South Beach residents of watering their lawns. "Porcelain Dreams", by Mike Difeo, fails to bring out Preston's romantic side. The William Shatner School of Acting is finally forced to close down. The Whore tries to play Chuck Woolery for Buttons and first time on air guest Dr. Whom, but gravity isn't cooperating. Mon, 19 Jun 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 32:46 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons It's forbidden cocktails in a skank pad, when Buttons divulges the latest in kitchen trends. The Word Whore places an order for some piping hot TTN pepperoni. "Clucksome Cockadoodleanamus Book", by Martyzilla, ruffles a few feathers before helping Bjork land the lead in the sequel to ET. Buttons and The Whore finally engage Angry Phone Guy in a long overdue three-way. Sun, 11 Jun 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 34:48 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Word Whore casts her shiniest idol aside and checks herself in to the nearest knitting circle. Will Waverly, author of "Pointless Parable", politely asks Buttons to eat dung and die. Preston plays possum while top secret plans for the new Tickle-Me-Buttons plush toy - bound to be all the rage, Christmas 2006 - are inadvertently lactated. Mon, 29 May 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 28:29 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Escape Pod's Stephen Eley gives Buttons the Sci-Fi shaft. The Word Whore seeks a sugar daddy with deep pockets and fewer cavities to keep her puffing and panting. "The Wrong Excuse", by Dan Manning, warns dope peddling jive turkeys about infectious ferrets. Hungry hounds lick their chops, while Preston polishes his drumsticks. Tue, 23 May 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 30:39 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons While The Word Whore gives Frank Stallone more air time than he's had in almost twenty years, Preston Buttons deftly dodges bullets. Jessica's "Not Just Another One Night Stand" sites some important advances in erotic robotics. The Whore finds a certain foamy stick a little hard to swallow. Thu, 11 May 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 29:31 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons expresses concern about a lack of alcoholism in Toronto's podcasting community. The Word Whore blows a peeper. Robin Kirkman, author of "Rakth in The Beginning", suffers a gender identity crisis at the hands of The Whore and cancels his/her subscription to AoMS due to Preston's assholishness. Wed, 03 May 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 27:57 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons No show this week, folks, so here's a little something from the private files. We'll be be back soon in all of our drunken glory. Wed, 26 Apr 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 02:45 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Preston finally gets his dirty mouth washed out with soap. Despite ongoing rumors and an unfortunate haircut, Angry Phone Guy's wardrobe confirms his heterosexuality. The Word Whore gives up both her ass and her dignity for Lent. "Where You'll Find Me" by DG is sad and it's sad and it's sad too. Link joins Buttons in the studio for "The Redneck Review". Wed, 19 Apr 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 35:33 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons gives birth to the Anti-Christ, while The Whore drops acid and goes 'walkabout'. Preston denies his resemblance to Chicken Little. Part two of "Moonlight", by Craig from the Tangents podcast, delivers only part of its juicy payload before cutting out for a Ginger-MaryAnne sandwich. Mon, 10 Apr 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 31:59 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Word Whore defiles Mother Earth. Buttons tie-dyes a tree-hugger. Craig, from the Tangents podcast, oils up his harness and breaks out all the toys in part one of "Moonlight". Invisible sex organs dig up frightening images from Preston's childhood. Hairy Barbarian's run from wayward butt-plugs. Tue, 28 Mar 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 30:47 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons loses his battle with the homeless virus. The Word Whore fiddles, while Air Out My Shorts burns. Lost recordings collect dust for good reason. Buttons and The Whore take a meatless road-trip with Michael Beckwith in "A Day In The Life Of". Z.J. serves up some silver tongue. Preston conducts a fruitless survey. Wed, 22 Mar 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 27:19 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Word Whore lays claim to yet another celebrity tonguing in absentia, while poor Button's patience with her drunken baby-talk babble is quite audibly pushed to the edge. Mike Dominic's "At His Own Pace" receives the highest story rating ever bestowed, shortly before experts have to be called in for The Whore's deep cleaning. The Barbie Dream House labels all its exits. Fri, 10 Mar 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 30:24 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Preston yanks his own chain. The Word Whore prepares for a British invasion. Dann H gets Irish on Buttons. Al from Long Island demands a peach from the Whore. Simon Wilkinson says "It Could Be You", but probably isn't. Mon, 06 Mar 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 28:34 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Whore rats out Link's little sister and airs out her unkempt garage. The conclusion of Z.J. Maplin's "Sins Quietly" finds Preston Buttons wielding a dangerous piece of meat. Disco Lou calls in to woo his favorite gap girl. The Word Whore boosts seat sales for her private self-esteem workshops. Mon, 20 Feb 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 20:59 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons In this very special Valentine's episode, Preston flashes his Ninja card while The Whore aches for twat recognition. Buttons and The Word Whore warm your cockles by mucking about in Malkavius Rostif's "You, Me and a Pool of Astroglide". Although The Whore's toy box is evidently situated very close to the mic, wanking is strictly prohibited. Mon, 13 Feb 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 30:05 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Preston is a snitch. AoMS joins the MySpace cult. The Whore does a "bad bad thing". Part one of Z.J. Maplin's "Sins Quietly" dons something frilly and dangles from the ceiling. Bid Bad Bruce sweats to the oldies and picks on the elderly. Sun, 05 Feb 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 22:00 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Word Whore sets her sights on a shiny new knickknack for her mantle. Robert - producer of the Shades of Democracy Podcast - waves his dirty "Picnic" accusingly in Button 's direction. EscapePod's Stephen Eley endorses The Whore's oral talents. Sun, 29 Jan 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 20:29 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Facing the combined challenges of long distance recording, nasty head colds and confusing foreign cheeses; Preston Buttons and The Word Whore finally attempt their first episode of 2006. "War and Doom" - submitted by Doomed Moose - rekindles The Whore's affection for lava lamps and pirates. Buttons finally gets around to finishing his life size portrait of Delta Burke. Gene Roddenberry rolls over in his grave. Sat, 21 Jan 2006 08:00:00 -0500 yes 23:58 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Merrily rum soaked, Preston Buttons and The Word Whore tie one on and slap a big red bow on the last episode of 2005. The real North Pole makes a disturbing appearance in "Santa Helps Himself" - a festive load dropped on AoMS by B.C. Hooker. The Whore stumbles on a new ice sculpture technique and the true source of Aurora Borealis rears its big ugly head. Link sacrifices a goat. Wed, 28 Dec 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 22:00 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Brimming with the holiday spirit, Buttons and The Whore rip the wrapping off a gift that will keep on giving. "Travieso", by Malkavious Rostif, delivers a nice big package to a naughty little number. Electric Lee from NYC opens up his sack of toys and slips in a few unexpected plugs. Thu, 15 Dec 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 33:17 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Preston Buttons and The Word Whore celebrate their thirtieth episode with an unforgivable lack of fanfare, balloons, strippers and cake. Dick Hurtz takes "Henry" on a heart warming holiday spree. Guido Grande chimes in to remind us to say no to drugs. Tue, 06 Dec 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 29:37 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Whore ponies up, whinnies for Prince, and accidentally gives birth to Godzilla. First time phone guest "Hot Rod" and anonymous story submission "Control" spin tales of fast rides, parked cars, and little women. Buttons accepts his lot in life and clings to The Word Whore's boots. Tue, 29 Nov 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 28:09 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Just when you thought it was safe to look into the bowl, excerpts from "Poo" - by Dave Aldridge - takes AoMS "where no whore has gone before". After merciless probing with square objects, "Disco Lou" uncovers Buttons is not bumpy and The Word Whore is not "butt-friendly". Tue, 22 Nov 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 31:31 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons goes back into the closet. The Whore makes a mess in bed and gives "This Spot", by S. Butts, the flush. Professor Polymer shares the latest advances in the wonderful world of plastics. Preston finally pulls the plug. Sun, 13 Nov 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 25:16 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons decides women should watch where they put their bare arses. "How I Nearly Killed My Girlfriend's Puppy" - by That Girl - raises a digestion dilemma. The Whore urges men to scrub their winkies. 88 Fingers Willy sits to pee. Sun, 06 Nov 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 28:33 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Prestacula and Whorevira rise from their coffins, slurp from bloody goblets and take a long scary "Walk In The Woods" with Ricardo Gonzalez for Halloween. Angry Phone Guy trumps the rich by making his own glass menagerie out of cat excrement. Mon, 31 Oct 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 36:38 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons A big burrito threatens to burn through Buttons' bowels. The Word Whore's blue mood turns a fiery red, when her post-show plans fall apart on the air and "Faller" - by Jules Delorme - taunts her with hockey and poetry. Banachek shares a little love, having found a real live human woman to keep him warm. Mon, 24 Oct 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 37:15 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Preston comes clean with his 'caught in the act' story, but poems submitted by The Redheaded Cock Knocker leave both Buttons and The Whore feeling very dirty. Working Girl demonstrates what will undoubtedly be an extremely short-lived new career choice. The Word Whore confesses inappropriate carnal yearnings for Air Ferg. Mon, 17 Oct 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 35:25 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Clutch Murphy has a bone to pick over Thanksgiving. Matteo Torretta adds some Italian zest. The Whore delights in discovering an unexpectedly kind AoMS mention on "The Rev Up Review", but it comes as no surprise when LINK shares way too much or when Buttons fiddles with his gear.. Wed, 13 Oct 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 31:56 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Straining nipples threaten silk shirts everywhere, as The Word Whore pants her way through "Chance Encounter" by Shameless Flirt. Buttons fires off a loaded pump action gun. The Whore stands to pee. No longer 'introverted', Hot Tub Tammy shares her fantasies and sheds her clothes. Wed, 05 Oct 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 34:37 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Preston Buttons and The Word Whore offer up an abridged conclusion to the 3-part "Dandy Fairytale" series by Michael Beckwith. The Whore's 'thigh-highs' get an unexpected work out. A messy 'art class', with 88 Fingers Willy, puts oven mitts and sock puppets in some sticky situations. Sun, 25 Sep 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 36:39 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Whore dons pigtails for a play date. An untitled story submission by 'Abbey Normal' barely surfaces between porn anecdotes and musical trips down memory lane. Buttons hoses down the studio. 'Lulu Fontaine' takes a bite out of The Big Apple, while her husband drafts blueprints for his midget-free fetish room. Wed, 14 Sep 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 36:22 Buttons makes commendable progress on a life-sized tribute to Delta Burke, while The Whore busies herself with small animals. An all-star ensemble rallies - from Middle Earth to San Dimas - for Chapter 2 of Michael Beckwith's fairytale series. 'Link' licks Labour Day Weekend wounds, barks up the wrong tree, steers clear of dinner plates and undesirable sandwiches. Tue, 06 Sep 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 35:48 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons and The Whore leave a lasting impression, though - from this day forward - both will live with the unsettling prospect of being struck down... either by The Almighty or Betty White. Phill Elliot digs yet another hole in his already crowded exotic pet cemetery and 'Angry Phone Guy' chimes in with more frighteningly slanderous celebrity ball-busting. Wed, 31 Aug 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 26:19 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons While Preston works diligently to finish off Mr. LaForce and his "stove-sized root balls", The Whore continues to find the lack of down and dirty detail difficult to swallow. A call to 'Working Girl' reveals membership really does have its privileges and surprises AoMS with their first ON AIR JOHN. Mon, 29 Aug 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 31:39 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons While "fast forward five hours" might make for nice alliteration, it leaves The Word Whore hungry for a play-by-play of the would-be 'Boston 3-Party' in "A Very Misty Morn" by Wade K. LaForce. This first half of a 2-Part episode (which also marks the TWO MONTH Anniversary of AoMS) includes an extremely rare on air parley with 'Big Bad Bruce' - released from confinement just for this call. Thu, 25 Aug 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 25:28 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Word Whore gets up close and personal with studio furnishings. Tim Clare taps his way back into our hearts. Rainy days and Mondays might always get Preston down, but topless cheerleaders get us all off. Sat, 20 Aug 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 27:08 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Tired of mere boys trying, the Word Whore takes Michael Beckwith for a tumble. Preston's weekend in Richmond raises questions about "payload delivery" ethics among ambulance drivers everywhere. A call to Banacheck lands one step short and falls flat on its ass. Sun, 14 Aug 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 28:23 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons sustains actual physical abuse while airing out "Home" by Z.J. Maplin, but The Word Whore later comforts him with tea and dick. During a first time call to Independent Canadian Recording Artist - "LINK" - they learn of his preference for the produce section and an affinity for golden showers. Wed, 10 Aug 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 28:40 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons While taking it up one nostril and in one eye, Buttons and The Whore begin to air out a series of shorts submitted by Sam Keenan. Clothes break out, cougars pounce, vultures circle and a long-distance pillow fight ensues. Wed, 04 Aug 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 29:36 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Preston uncovers big gaping holes in The Word Whore's aura, while airing out "The Blue Man" by Chris Strange. A call to 'Banachek' - conveniently accompanied by 'Ms. Dizz' - further complicates Revirginization Procedures and threatens lab rats everywhere. Fri, 29 Jul 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 37:59 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Preston and The Whore celebrate the one month anniversary of their first episode, their rather shocking arrival on the "iTunes Top 100" in Canada, and the announcement of their first contest. Episode features " The Demon" by Dave Aldridge and a call to "Chef Lech". Mon, 25 Jul 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 31:04 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons and The Whore make the tragic mistake of recording in the wee hours after a long press-whorin' night out on the town. Bleary-eyed, slurred-word scientific discoveries are made... mind-boggling, age-old mysteries are solved. Somewhere in this train wreck of an episode, a short story may have been half-heartedly tackled. A call to 'South B'otch' and 'The Rope Maiden' turns everybody's brown eyes... PINK! Fri, 22 Jul 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 28:06 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Word Whore has a complete meltdown as she and Buttons foolishly subject themselves to a grueling 'on air' psycho-analysis at the hands of a visiting - obviously fraudulent - 'doctor'. A story submission by John Osborne uncovers The Whore's adventures in baby sitting. A call to 'Working Girl' confirms Preston's suicidal tendencies. Tue, 19 Jul 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 30:29 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons and The Whore crack the Bert and Ernie story. Preston helps Phillip Elliott spank his monkey. A lumpy park monkey gets up close and personal with unsuspecting tourists. A call to 'Uncle Underpants' finds him airing out his own dirty laundry. The Word Whore reveals her secret porn name. Thu, 14 Jul 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 33:32 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Word Whore drools over Tim Cure's gooey meat - reading new meaning into the most important meal of the day. Buttons pops his safety cap. 'Angry Phone Guy' rips into the Hilton's... twice. Wed, 12 Jul 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 30:29 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons The Word Whore, on location in South Beach, calls in for a special "Canada Day" episode and toys with a future career in phone sex. Buttons, less than energetic and far from enthusiastic, admits to engaging in a rather draining 'air guitar' session the night before and to missing his "sugar mama". "That Girl" helps us play 'hide-the-bong'. Fri, 01 Jul 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 28:20 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Buttons and The Whore unintentionally affirm the negative effects of smoking, as they both gasp their way through "Catching Butterflies" by Jerry Vilhotti. The much anticipated first call to "Angry Phone Guy" (famous for telephone tirades played on certain unnamed College Radio Stations in Canada) finds him in an uncharacteristically good mood with nothing to scream about. Wed, 29 Jun 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 29:00 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Faith restored by Bill Raison's delightful story submissions, Buttons and The Whore bravely demonstrate their complete lack of voice acting talent in "Jeffrey Lights Up". Mon, 27 Jun 2005 08:00:00 -0500 yes 27:51 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons Virgin Podcastors Buttons and The Whore lodge complaints against their (completely fictitious) new 'employers' and struggle through two lackluster short story submissions, in this rather shakey debut of "Air Out My Shorts". A call to "Mama's Boy" (Brian) puts the final nail in the coffin... where we should have promptly buried episode 1! Fri, 24 Jun 2005 21:00:00 -0500 yes 28:00 Sex,Literature,Stories,Fiction,Humor,Jokes,Comedy,Funny,Banter,Explicit,Writing,SciFi,Canadian,TheWordWhore,PrestonButtons