Today I turn 60.

There’s something about that number, but the potential anxiety of hitting this “milestone” was completely alleviated by of a certain distant memory and a trip back to a favorite place of mine.

Last week I was lucky enough to spend my time in a cabin in the Muir Woods. These woods are one of my favorite places. When I was a small tyke, my grandfather used to take me there when the butterflies would return from Mexico every year. And as I sat on the deck of my small cabin it seemed to me to be just like the old days with my grandpa.

My grandfather and I were partners in various and nefarious undertakings that only take place in the sacred created world that was ours. My grandfather was born on Christmas and I was born on May 16th. This is also the around the time many celebrate Buddha’s birthday. My grandfather wasted no time in creating our little myth that we were the latest representations of these two wonderful historical figures. He represented the West and all that was great, and I represented the East and the heart that it brings.

As I sat there in the woods I could not help but remember one of my favorite stories about my grandfather as told by my uncle Jerry:

One day, across the street from our house, a man was abusing his dog in a way that my grandpa could not tolerate. Now one might think that the natural reaction of an American man to this kind of situation would be to physically fight with the abuser. But my grandfather was not typical. He marched himself across the street and spoke to this man “please don’t hit the dog. If you are that angry feel free to hit me instead.”

My grandfather and I shared a love of dogs. Every time I hug a dog to this day it brings memories flooding back of that early bond. Many times my grandfather would tell me, “Remember Alan, dogs love always and forever. And it’s our job to make sure that everyone gets to feel the love of a dog.” Of course, it should be no surprise that a man who volunteered to be hit instead of a dog would say such things to his oldest grandson.

Today turn 60 years old. And in doing so I want to honor my early myth that declares “love is something that everyone should have a chance to feel.”

Is this the normal message from someone in corporate leadership? Maybe not. But it is the message that lives deeply in this old man, who has been asked to carry on a tradition given to him by a man much greater.

And while I will never be my grandfather, I can assure you that it won’t be for lack of trying.

Chocolate.

Chocolate engraved with a word of wisdom.

A Kickstarter project based around the idea of providing an underprivileged child a bar of chocolate every time someone purchases (thereby backing the project).

I was in the midst of finishing Awakened Leadership when an e-mail arrived discussing this very project. How could I possibly resist?

For the Love of Chocolate and Peru

This email introduced me to a young man named Danny Jacobs. What immediately caught my attention was that Danny had been instrumental in many large capital raises involving high-tech companies in the Silicon Valley. And now this young leader was living in Peru and had formed a group to produce organic chocolate and utilize Peruvian labor.

But the bigger piece was yet to come.

Overall, The Placebo Effect is a not-for-profit venture, additionally delivering a living wage to Peruvian peasants who otherwise would have no job. The organic chocolate campaign was simply a side project (successfully funded by the way) to get people to see the opportunity as something so much greater than a simple sugar rush.

I have mentioned recently that the younger generation is motivated by a larger footprint than those of us who came earlier. And here was a perfect example of that very thing. A young leader, who had it all, became dissatisfied because it didn’t serve in a way that was meaningful in his sense of leadership.

And now, two years later, The Placebo Effect has grown and is in the midst of producing an app that contributes to the health of many on the planet.

What happened to the chocolate?

Actually nothing. The chocolate experience, which continues today, was the practice launching pad for Danny to understand how to deliver his larger idea.

What’s the idea?

The Placebo Effect’s mission is to harness the natural power of the placebo effect to deliver cost-effective health improvement to anyone that wants it. Currently Danny has undertaken a goal to raise $50,000 from those of us who are passionate about ideas that benefit mankind. I am excited that this small amount will make a difference in the lives of many people, who would otherwise miss out.

Here are two links I highly recommend you all check out:

The Placebo Effect homepage.

The IndieGoGo campaign for the new Placebo Effect app.

Let me know what you think about a young entrepreneur CEO who has taken a decision that will certainly lead to a monetary life much unlike the one that he was originally trained to complete.

Could this very well be the leadership way of the future?

This group has signaled to the rest of the corporate world that ‘business as usual’ no longer attracts their leadership passion.

It should come as no surprise that yesterday, as I scrolled through my newsfeed, Yahoo has decided to pay double for maternity and paternity leave. Additionally, they were very clear to note that this was not an attempt to make amends for any of their previous controversy over employee policies (i.e. disallowing their workers to work from home). Rather this decision was made to attract “leadership talent.”

From where?

Of course, from the new generation.

I have long been a proponent of both younger leadership and female leadership. And now, a 37-year-old female CEO of one of the largest high-tech companies in our country has guided a decision she feel lands in the space of “leadership that is bigger than just me”.

I would be interested to know how many others can see this new wave of leadership making its way onto our corporate shores.

Here is a link to the article for your enjoyment. Click the image to link out.

header image taken by yukop via flickr

article image taken by Giorgio Montersino via Flickr

And then came the 80s and a fellow by the name of Magic Johnson. To this day, I still think he is the greatest basketball player of all time. Why you might ask? Because Magic made the team better than any of the individual pieces. And better yet he did it all with a Willie Mays smile on his face.

But that’s an argument for another day. So I digress.

We have now, however, moved into a new era of professional basketball. Gone are the smiles of the 80’s, replaced by the serious faces of today’s game.

Perhaps the most obvious representative of this new generation, with his 5 NBA rings, is Kobe Bryant. He’s not much liked by majority of folks but I have always sensed that there is something special about this insufferable athlete, beyond his basketball ability. (Here’s a great article that covers this topic well).

Until now I haven’t had much proof to back up my intuition. That is until I read this tweet:

Proud of @jasoncollins34. Don’t suffocate who u r because of the ignorance of others #courage #support #mambaarmystandup #BYOU

— Kobe Bryant (@kobebryant) April 29, 2013

As most people know by know, an amazing thing happened in the world of the NBA and professional sports at large. Jason Collins, a Stanford graduate, became the first professional male athlete in major team sports to announce that he is gay. My immediate reaction was that this was a courageous act of leadership in an environment that may not welcome it. To me that is exactly the time that leadership is best expressed.

And then another amazing thing happened.

Dozens of athletes immediately supported this NBA center who had taken such a courageous step. There were some naysayers out there, but for the most part the support was overwhelming.

And who was the first and biggest name on that list? You guessed it. The unpopular and widely disliked Kobe Bryant.

Now you may love or hate the Lakers. But you have to ask yourself why a five-time NBA champ and a guaranteed future Hall of Famer with absolutely nothing to gain would be the first person to jump in to the boiling pot of homosexuality in professional sports. This is a different kind of athlete and leader. He’s no Tiger Woods who’s looking for the easy way. Tiger wants to be known as a golfer only and never a leader of humanity. The sports terrain is littered with big names looking to sidestep controversy and emotions that we all hold as universal humanity. And then there are those who aren’t.

But to this California kid who has never given up on his Lakers, this is the proudest moment of the Laker tradition. Did Magic Johnson jump in and lend his name to the HIV movement? Yes he did. He’s a Laker. Did Kareem Abdul-Jabbar teach children in an Indian reservation? Yes he did. He’s a Laker. And now the crowning Laker achievement as Kobe Bryant, the inheritor of the Southern California tradition, makes his Laker statement. Yes he did. He’s a Laker.

And in a moment like this, I believe we are all Lakers.

image taken by cliff1066™ via Flickr

Here’s the scene: the ubiquitous chairs and tables, a PowerPoint projector, and unending coffee and water in the back of the room.

As is usual in Corporatelandia, the concern is how a business can land a story with their customers. It was hard to shake them from this goal.

You see I wanted them to understand that it was their story that was important, not the outside landing place that they imagined was all-compelling. The magic of the story lived within them, not in how close to the target they might deliver it.

And then my break came.

One young CEO asked from the back of the room, “So tell us one of these internal stories that are so much more powerful than the externally targeted version.”

This is the story that came tumbling out.

It was 2005 and my wife and I had decided that it was time to adopt another dog. Now, for the people that know me, they know that I love mastiffs. And as we searched for a new companion, we found a 160 pound boy named Odie who lived in Las Vegas. He had become too big for the family that had brought him as a new puppy, as mastiffs often outgrow desert condominiums. He was a beautiful dog and the minute I saw his picture I knew he was right for us. He had been born with one eye and his tongue was simply too long for his mouth. After a long nap, he would often have carpet bits stuck to that oversized tongue. But I digress. After the summary process of completing the adoption forms, we were approved to get Odie. And that meant a six-hour trip to Las Vegas to collect our new family member.

I remember driving by myself into Las Vegas that day. Of course I passed the immense IN-N-OUT sign on the California side of town. I don’t know if that influenced what followed, but it might have. As I drove into a suburban section of Las Vegas, with the homes in their normal cookie-cutter format, I saw a beautiful mastiff heading my way. I immediately knew that this was my Odie. When I picked him up he seemed distant and aloof. What could possibly be the solution to that problem? As I loaded him into the car it hit me. I was sure that any mastiff would love IN-N-OUT as much as I did. It was, after all, a California tradition. These burgers had been a part of my life from the beginning.

And that is how it came to be that Odie and I were parked at one of the outside tables at IN-N-OUT in the Las Vegas desert breeze. I noticed that people would stop and stare and in fact cars slowed on the street to watch a grown man and a 160 lb mastiff perform a speed eating exercise on some helpless hamburgers. I will never forget that moment as it formed the beginning of a love story unlike any other I have known. Odie was my boy and I was his.

chow down

As I told the story I was completely consumed. And then I noticed that I was back in that conference room with my corporate captains of industry. At that point, they were transfixed. They had experienced that deepest place inside themselves. I didn’t need to ask them anymore if they knew the difference between their core story and the worry about how to land it.

For the landing took care of itself.

I didn’t need to mention that Joseph Campbell had spoken many times about one’s original myth. For there they stood knee-deep in my deepest passion as well as their own.

Was there a corporate theme to my story?

Who cares.

That story stood on its own.

When, in your career, have you taken the chance to tell something meaningful that lives in you, rather than a story that you picked for a desired effect?

Imagine you and I are driving together and I simply ask you, “How fast are we going?”

I am sure at that point you would look at the speedometer and say something like “65 miles an hour”. Now most people, when reciting the speed, relate to the number on the speedometer. They have long-lost the actual sense of movement and are simply reporting what the dial reflects.

It’s as if motion could be reported in a standstill way.

If you think about it, this is true about many experiences that we all live day-to-day. As humans we have learned to believe that our reporting systems are the same as the action that makes up our life.

The essence of true leadership is understanding this distinction and living in the experience rather than in the concept. It just isn’t possible to lead by reporting the measurement of the direction we are headed.

This past Saturday we were lucky to host Franco Marini, of Denver, in our little Oceanside firehouse as he conducted a daylong workshop. The subject of a workshop was Native American drum making. We had 15 participants come by, learning to stretch wet leather around Cedar hoops. The grunts and groans were the main sounds one could hear. From healers to corporate executives, victory and frustration were expressed as their very own Indian drum made its way into existence. I couldn’t help but notice that, unlike many of the corporate leadership events I conduct, there was very little talk. This was a true experiential workshop completely dedicated to making an ancient Indian drum. At the end of the day the participants had happily created a drum to their liking. And their happiness was evident in their faces and in the way they spoke of the experience.

When I asked them about their experience, they didn’t report the results of making a drum as though taken from a speedometer. Rather they delighted and basked in the actual experience of achievement. What they were communicating was palpable. It was leadership expressed in action.

The fact that we all lose track of this difference has long interested me. We all know it but somehow move back and forth between our concepts and real action without notice.

Have you noticed this as well? And do you think it makes a difference in our life to be aware of it?

photo taken by ollesvensson via Flickr

It was a typical afternoon in the office with the dogs snoring and files piled high on my desk.

And then the phone rang.

I could see that it was my son Michael calling in. He had just started his first company, a parking operation in the apparel district of Los Angeles. I regularly took his calls these days to give whatever help an old businessman could contribute.

To be honest, I feel my son is a natural entrepreneur and needs little of my help, but a listening ear is always a good thing the first time around.

And this day brought a special tale.

As I answered his call, I could hear the anguish in his voice. His words tumbled out of his mouth as ragged as the event he described.

Early that morning he went to a car auction in Los Angeles and purchased a “beater” pickup truck for a few hundred dollars. It was the perfect vehicle for a bootstrap parking company.  After going to the DMV to get it registered and pay the sales tax, Michael then had an employee drive it over to the lot. But on its way, the truck caught fire and was completely demolished. Having no choice, he called the junkyard and sent it away for scrap.

Naturally, Michael felt terrible.

As he finished recounting his tale, I began to chuckle much to his consternation.

How could I laugh at such a terrible day? And then I told him the secret to transforming a bad day into a wonderful outcome.

“Michael”, I said, “you have accomplished something that very few people will ever be able to do in their lifetime. You have lived the entire life of a car in one day. This is a story that most entrepreneurs spend a lifetime trying to find.”

I assured him he would be telling this story well into his later years.

Since that day, Michael and I have always shared that special moment. When he tells me a story, we are both reminded of this significant event.

He knows that I will always look for the story.

“Your truck is on fire? No problem. That is a great story.”

The beauty of this approach is that it works every time.

Do you have a story that emerged from an otherwise bad event? Do you tell it often?

At Hill Street you will see executives, yoga nuts, musicians, artists and people from all sorts of ethnic backgrounds. It’s a melting pot in the best sense of the metaphor. For you see, “we all ride our own wave.”

At this point you may be asking yourself, “Alan, what the heck does this have to do with leadership?”

Well…

Years ago I made my way to this little haven to find a cast of characters only found in sitcom land. Dan, an attorney by education, gave his career the boot to live his life’s dream of creating a sustainable restaurant. He is the leader of this ragtag band. There is Andy, a man’s man with a heart the size a real burrito. There’s Magarito, the Guatemalan comic, and Gustavo, a hero in all that he does. And we never forget Wayne, the ‘heart’ of the group. Me? Well I’m just lucky to be a bit player in this family of mine.

In my first week at Hill Street I stopped by for my morning coffee. As I finished stirring my morning brew, Wayne reached over and grabbed my spoon to do the same.

Curious, I asked him, “Wayne, why don’t you just get a new one?”

Wayne peered over his glasses and said, “Alan, do you know what Dan tells us?”

Of course, I said “no.”

“He tells us waste is waste. It doesn’t matter the size or circumstance, waste is waste.”

And in that moment I had found my California home. For you see I care in the same deep way that we all do at Hill Street. “Waste is waste” isn’t a stern directive but rather an utterance of love.

So here is my question to you: In your life what are the stories of leadership in action that have happened to you? And what makes that experience the ‘real deal’?

I’m declaring it. A corporation WILL become a mirror image of the leadership, the leadership persona and the leadership’s consistency with passion for a new and improved world!

This passion and clarity stems from a voice within, knowing that which is important, demonstrating utter resolution to it whilst identifying real opportunity for change and realignment from it.

One man who has spent a lifetime researching emotions, specifically in corporations, is Martyn Newman. He is a psychologist, co-creator of the ‘Emotional Capitalist Report’ for RocheMartin and a fellow Leadership Challenge advocate.

This is how Martyn describes a leader:

That Fire in the Belly

When team members are active business partners, they will seek to understand before being understood. Everyone loves a good story as we connect and become a character, alive and dynamic. It will take us to the soul, the very core of an issue and allow us to feel the pain, emotion, and may well leave us with ‘fire in the belly’ that can move mountains in business. Lights switch on as we move from a lack of understanding to clarity and reason. In the words of Kouzes and Posner, “that very fire has the ability to transform values into action, vision into reality, separateness into solidarity, obstacles into opportunity and risk into reward.”

What Else Does a Corporate Soul Need?

When team members are active business partners, they have a great opportunity to see things through the eyes of others.

Customers, suppliers, shareholders, and staff are all in a state of experience. When they feel valued, the comfort level will increase and they’ll be more likely to share their thoughts and feelings. Metaphors emerge and evolve into perspective, provoking the realm of alternative, removing us from the world of absolute.

With connection we move to the very soul, to that pit in the stomach, to the core of energy where, as embers of the world purports, change from the core occurs.

What Is vs. What Can Be

There will always be someone in a business who is in a position to take the people, department, functionality and organization beyond current performance.

A story with tangible and visual representation can excite and delight, as the person connects with the image in the mind’s eye of what the new state will look like.  ‘What was or is’ simply fades into oblivion, recognizing its day has come and happily steps out of the way of a powerful ‘what can be’ already being developed as a result of the story!

 …And Even Goodbyes?

Groupon’s departing CEO told a story in his resignation letter, one of raw and precious vulnerability, truth to the core, alignment with self-validation, and encouragement from the heart whilst also opening hope for the future.

What more would a corporate soul want?

photo by Thomas Shahan 3 via Flickr