Alaska Studio

World History (Condensed Version)

Travis — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 17:15:35 +0000

For those that don’t know about history … Here is a condensed version:
Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter. Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn’t fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud or Miller. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, meteorologists, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America .. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today’s lesson in world history:

It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.

A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to piss them off.

And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self…..I’m going to have another beer.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1 . Liberals
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That’s how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement…

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ’s eating the food, drinking the beer, and complaining about their fair share. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. They became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Free Child ID Kits this

Travis — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 17:48:14 +0000

Do you have children? Come to The Mall at Sears on Saturday August 28th from 10am-7pm! We will be handing out free Child ID kits. This aids the police in finding a missing child. Alaska Studio and Apogee Studios will be on site to take your child’s photo for the ID kits for free. This event sponsored by Alaska Studio, Apogee Studios, The Mall at Sears, with the cooperation of D.A.R.E., and the Alaska State Troopers.

Time Flies!

Tiffany — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 04:35:31 +0000

It seems like only yesterday that we had Hunter! I can’t believe that 4 weeks have gone by already. I can only imagine how fast it will go from here. Even though we are taking a small break from the studio to enjoy Hunter, we are still scheduling for seniors. If you have any questions, for us, let us know, before you know it the summer will be over.

New pics of Hunter!

Travis — Tue, 25 May 2010 00:02:25 +0000

Hunter first actual photoshoot. He didn’t make it as long as we would have liked, but hey we can always try again tomorrow! Here are a few pics from today!

New Baby!

Travis — Wed, 19 May 2010 20:27:48 +0000

My wife and I had our Baby on Mother’s Day! Complete suprise! Alaska Studio will be closed for the next few weeks while we enjoy our new little one!

It’s a boy!

Travis — Mon, 10 May 2010 16:13:21 +0000

Well, it is confirmed. Last night our baby boy was born. 6lbs. 4oz & 19″ long. I will put up some pics as soon as possible

P90 Day #4

Travis — Fri, 07 May 2010 17:34:55 +0000

It was a rough workout today. I was so sore that it was hard to complete the whole workout. But I did, and I know tomrrow I will be hurting worse! So far I am starting to see some progess, Hopefully this weekend when I switch from the Fat Burn Express to the P90 workout I will start seeing even more results!

P90 Day #3

Travis — Thu, 06 May 2010 16:48:20 +0000

FEEL THE BURN!!! I could definitely tell what muscles I have been working out for the past few days. I am still able to move however, but just barely! Today I am switching up the morning breakfast routine, and going with one of Beachbody’s breakfast items. A scrambled egg, half an English muffin, half a banana, and coffee.

I measured my waist this morning, and I have lost 1/2″. Not to bad, but I still have a ways to go. I also want to thank everyone who has subscribed to the feed to support, and follow my progress!

2011 Seniors

Travis — Wed, 05 May 2010 16:46:58 +0000

Book and complete your session in May and receive 10% off your initial purchase! This includes our already discounted packages! Call and schedule today to take advantage of this offer. (907) 375-8900

P90 Day #2

Travis — Wed, 05 May 2010 16:42:16 +0000

2 days down, 94 to go.

This morning I hurt, and didn’t want to get out of bed to do the workout, but my wife dragged me out of bed to make me start working out. The workout went well, until I had about 10 minutes left. That was when I felt like I was going to die. However, I finished the workout, and am now sitting at work trying not to move much. I have figured out that if I stretch throughout the day I don’t get to sore though.

I could get use to theser protien shakes. Add a little bit of ice, banana, and peanut butter to the vanilla shake, and yummy!!