This just happened. I swear to God.

My wife and daughter just left for a driving lesson. I was walking back from our front door when my dog stood right in front of me. I looked at her and said something like this.

"Maggie, I miss my mom. I miss her ability to bring me back from the edge with little more than a few words. This hernia surgery is terrifying. "

I started walking up my stairs. This weird feeling of comfort washed over me and something in my brain changed. I don't think I'm going to let the fear effect me.

I actually think I've got this.

I don't know why or how it happened.

Divine? or did i snap? LOL.

I genuinely think my mom heard me.

I felt lower than a snail's belly.

I don't feel that way anymore.

(In my best movie voice) In a world where we've been told we're being controlled by aliens and live in a simulation, old school faith won the day.

How bout that.

For people seeking not just help or support but also confirmation that YOU are not a burden. Crumbling under societal pressure is valid and should not be shamed. BUT, we have to rise above our afflictions either way. Much love.

Twelve months ago today (in about 15 hours time) I had my last drink.
A Sunday night, I had taken my partner to the airport for a business trip and settle down with my teenage daughter to watch a movie. There was about 3/4 of a bottle of wine the counter and I thought "I'll just have one glass", LOL. Naturally, I finished the bottle, in reality a small amount of alcohol over about 3 hours - no staggering around or slurring or embarrassing myself with my daughter. I don't know why this was the final straw, but I'm glad it was. I sat at work the following day with only one thought "Never again". I still don't know why it was this event, but I'm so glad it was.
I think it's taken fully 12 months to feel better, it was a long trot to start with and only after correcting my diet in January have things really improved. My weight is now what it was 25 years ago, healthy BMI, I never thought it possible.
Any one who struggles with multiple additions - I can become addicted to virtually anything, when I was child it was lego, then video games, then as an adult alcohol, sex, exercise (at times) and a long list of other things. No middle ground in any of that. If you suffer this way, consider you may by neurodivergent (ADD, ADHD, ASD etc). Those conditions are linked to addictive behaviour, I am ADHD/ASD. Therapy has brought understanding for me on this front and I have turned it to my advantage, I am addicted to "not drinking" now. I am addicted to filling my days with being busy and achieving things.
I signed up here as RaggedyMan because that's how I felt, I am not that person anymore.
Thanks Dee, Anna, Mags and the rest of the SR community...
Mark

Hi Everyone!
I'm on day 5 being sober and day 6 is guaranteed because I literally have no money to buy alcohol tomorrow. It's Wednesday that's the problem, when I get paid.
I've been journalling this past year and I can look back month after month when I have these sober days due to lack of money, I promise myself I won't buy alcohol when I get paid because I can see even in a short time frame how mentally and physically I'm beginning to feel and that repeatedly when I've bought alcohol on payday, it just keeps going til the money runs out. I really need a way to make sure Wednesday is just another repeat of the past year of what looks to be empty promises I make to myself.
Does anyone have any advice as to how they'd deal with this or if it was your trigger- how you got past it?? Anything is appreciated.

Thanks x

Hello all. I am new here and not new to trying to get and stay off drinking alcohol. I have a patchwork of days, weeks and months but not more than a week in a row in the past two years of trying moderation. Which looked like drinking 12oz a night 6 days a week after a couple months not very successful. I got diagnoses with mild liver disease in 2023. Stayed off booze for a couple months and reversed it. So I went back and thought it was fine. Of course never told my doctors I drank. Cue last week I get blood work and my enzymes are way up, and I have to get a liver ultra sound. That kept me good for 6 days then I slipped up for 2, after getting some potentially bad news (it could be an incurable fatal liver disease). But I came back yesterday feeling motivated that even if it is that the drinking will NOT help.

Now my best friend of 20 years and roommate. Think platonic life partner. Anyways he used to drink too much (I suspect not a person with a true addiction) and just quit 30 years ago. Strangely he is not helpful. Every time I have taken a break, or quit, or sworn off. He says "you're way more fun drunk" and "One won't hurt" or "surely you're not quitting *forever*". "You'll go nuts without any drinking" This time I said "hey that is not helpful this is hard enough as it is without you saying out loud, what my internal rationalizing voice says".

I suspect he has been enabling me. When I first moved-in, in University he gave me free booze for a few years until I drank too much and it got expensive. I also noticed this year I was complaining about going to the liquor store everyday, and a few times got him to go when I was out. So he started buying 12oz vodka's in bulk and keeping them in the cupboard to make it easier. I explained that I was going everyday to try to cut back, but he thought that was a pain.

Now before everyone thinks he is a terrible influence he is usually supportive of me being dry after the first week. Usually because the first week is rough with withdrawals. Any tips? I financially need to live with a roommate so moving is not an option. I also have no living family in this country, and the rest are distant relatives and estranged. In every other way my friend has been supportive and helpful.

Any advice other than just keep with the boundaries?

Hypocrite. That's what I feel like. I've been "dealing" with alcohol for about 15 years or so. There have been bad times and there have been long stretches of good times. Where I have been over the last 3-5 years is a pattern where I drink a handful of times per year. Typically on business trips. At home, day to day, I managed it. My wife wouldn't put up with it if I drank at home and I don't want to do it in front of my teenage boys. Everyone in the house is aware of my past struggles. I came close about 15 years ago to being a chronic drinker. Thankfully I avoided that. However, I've always been a binge drinker. Once I start it's extremely difficult to stop. But for whatever reason, after months of abstinence I always succumb to it.

Last night was one of those times. I had friends in town that I had not seen in a long time, and I went out to hang with them. In true problem drinker fashion, I thought a pint of vodka would be a good idea. I had a couple swigs before I got there. Then had 4 or 5 beers over the next few hours, then polished off the rest of the vodka on the way home and when I got home. FYI, not once in the evening did anyone ask me to drink, force me to drink, pressure me to drink. They wouldn't have blinked an eye if I said I wasn't drinking. I went to bed a little after 11 and my wife was woken up to me stumbling around at 2 in the morning looking for the bathroom. This morning I'm hungover, filled with that day after shame, and questioning everything. We spoke about it this morning, I let her know everything I did and my thought pattern behind it. Not to justify anything, but just to get it out and to be honest with her. I confessed that I'm lonely and that I don't have a large friend circle or really go out at all because I don't trust myself. My "success" of being mostly sober has really been due to the hermit method. I avoid people and places and just stay at home or with my wife and kids. I have routines in the morning, for work, after work, exercise and all the right things and my life is very organized. Every workday when i log on the first thing I do is come to this site and commit to 24 hours. I did that yesterday as well...even though I had pretty much already made up my mind that I was going to drink. Hence the title of this post.

I'm back to day 1. Back to the old familiar feelings of guilt, exhaustion, humiliation. Back to confronting myself with the fact that I've only ever bought into sobriety at 98% and knowing that if I don't commit 100% those handful full of drinking days annually will always haunt me and rob me of really living my life to its fullest potential.

I'm not asking for any of you to comfort me. I just wanted to get this off my chest, be honest with all of you that are here with me daily and maybe be an example for anyone new. If you don't go all in, you can't win. It's not swimming if you're still holding onto the side of the pool. Maybe just say a prayer for me that I can let go of the wall, get my hair wet, and get swimming before i prune up.

Good morning everyone. In for 24.

I have a 51 yo son who has been in and out of recovery programs.
He is currently in a new facility after an alcohol binge that required hospitalization.

He contacted me this morning and wants meto take his debit card to buy and deliver some cigarettes. He also wants me to takecare of any thing that might come up.

I am TIRED of supporting him this way this time.

My Daughter his older sister says this is just another way of Enabling him

Thoughts Appreciated Thank You

I was cleaning out my phone and I came across this text from my alcoholic ex. Instead of clearly breaking up with me and arranging logistics respectfully, he became passive-aggressive and condescending. He sent me messages explaining basic social interaction to me like I was a child. We were talking about me getting my stuff from his place.

"Now, in the real world, when people make arrangements they say things like..."I need to do ____ by ___(date)...... and I'm available on (this) or (that) date and time, is either OK with you?" Now, if you want to stop by and get some of your stuff, ask me like I demonstrated for you above."

As you all know, kid and I have had our ups and downs through this divorce. She]]>��
Her phone alarm was going off yesterday and she was sound asleep. I went to turn it off and decided to take a look through her phone.

It]]>��
His messages were horrible about me, telling her to lie to see him, stating he doesn]]>�����
And then a ton of messages about how he misses her, she doesn]]>���
My kid sent him a message saying that she was uncomfortable lying to me, it would make things worse, and that she didn]]>�
I about cried reading that! I am so dang proud of her for having the courage to tell him no and to operate from truth and integrity rather than get sucked into lying. She isn]]>�
His response to that is he]]>�
Typically reading this would make me rage, scream ]]>��
That]]>��
I]]>�
Since I snooped, I won]]>�
Today, I have hope that my kid will continue to find her strength and her voice.