Adventure Time with KC

Mic Check!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 14 Mar 2016 22:02:00 -0500

Ale, a dear friend and former classmate of mine, and I decided to get together to have awesome conversations about our goals, accomplishments, and deconstruct the oppressions and nonsense all around us.

Please join us in our mock podcast rehearsal, a pilot of sort, if you will, in which Ale and I share things we're proud we did recently, discuss the film The Intern, and make goals for ourselves.

powered by podcast garden

Collective Solidarity vs. Individual Comfort

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 7 Apr 2015 21:23:00 -0500

A few weeks ago in my seminar, we read a piece by Andrea Smith called "The Problem with 'Privilege". Directed at activists and people who are engaged in grassroots work, Smith calls for more focus on collective action to actually dismantle oppressions as opposed to individual "confessing" of privileges in so-called safe spaces. What Smith meant by this is that activists claim and try to create their spaces as safe spaces so that people feel comfortable being there, but no space is ever really free of oppressions. Instead, Smith argues that it serves all of us better if we acknowledge that every space already has people who can oppress and work to dismantle those systems. Moreover, in these safe spaces there are people who confess their privileges and then people who either have zero or few privileges to confess. Privileged people, once again, get to take up space by talking about acknowledging their privileges. Furthermore, this act individualizes oppression by allowing individuals to talk about their own privileges. But oppression is not just individual persons having privilege. Oppressions are systemic and that's why they're so powerful and hegemonic and problematic. Even though our ideas and thoughts are always already clouded by these forces, Smith claims that we need to continue to think of and re-imagine new ideas to tackle structures that create privilege.

Since then, Smith's piece has been circling in my head, resurfacing and coloring how I see activism and social justice work around me.

Several campus organizations are organizing a Fast-A-Thon for students to fast for a day and then end the fast together with a meal, to dedicate their thoughts to those who live with hunger. What does that mean? How does fasting for a day-ish compare to those who actually live with constant chronic hunger? Hunger is not just about being hungry all the time, it is part of some people's experiences with systemic oppressions constantly. How can we begin to understand what those experiences are like if we just pick the hunger part for a day? How does being hungry for a day as a Rice student even compare to being hungry constantly as abject people who lack other basic needs? Do we have to "try out" someone's life in order to extend compassion and empathy with them? Obviously, I am advocating for a No. Dedicating our thoughts to those who live with hunger do not even ask us to dedicate our actions. All that is asked of us is to think about it, and maybe highly encourage us to donate money and volunteer at a soup kitchen. Most of all, we get to feel good about ourselves when we fast for a day and then go have a meal together and learn about what people's real hunger is like. We did something by depriving ourselves of food for a day, attended an event, and absorbed some ideas. I don't mean to say that fast-a-thons inspire no one or that they are useless. Raising awareness about chronic hunger and poverty are really important and ought to be done. But if our money and time are spent buying food for a group of people to break their fast with, we should spend more time and money elsewhere to tackle the real problem.

Another type of activism on campus that individualizes social justice is ally trainings. Ally trainings, according to the Wellbeing office, aim to "raise awareness about the ways homophobia and heterosexism impact everyone, and to teach skills in being an Ally to the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning community." They do this through learning about the history and terminology of LGBTQ communities, practice scenarios, and listening to a student panel about their experiences at Rice. I never attended an ally training at Rice. I always felt bad about that, and I want to be a better ally. I attended a lecture about a week ago and it changed how I thought about allyship. Mia Mckenzie, the founder of the blog Black Girl Dangerous, felt that allyship is less useful when what we want are actions of solidarity instead of a label of support. It's like saying "I can't be a racist, I'm an ally!", said Mia. That got me thinking. The labels of having gone to ally training and received a placard for it or having a black friend do not qualify us as not-oppressors. What matters is action in solidarity. Maybe ally trainings can be called solidarity trainings, since ally is passive and waits for occasions to arise to respond to, while solidarity is active and consistent.

By no means do I think ally trainings at Rice are not about solidarity. For Rice students, committing to a 3-hour long event is plenty of action. But allies are never contacted after that. Queers and Allies and the Wellbeing office aren't inviting allies to their events (not that they have a responsibility to), and allies do whatever they want afterwards. Allies get to pick and choose what events, if any, they want to go to in support and solidarity. Ally trainings are kind of a gender 101 seminar. But how many times do we need to get LGBTQ students to testify to a room of people about their experiences at Rice due to their sexual and gender identities or choices? It becomes a burden on them to have to constantly educate people on what their lives are like and how to interact with them politely. Where is the 201? Solidarity is not just putting a placard on our dorm room door and waiting for something to happen. It requires diligent efforts to reimagine and create a better more just world for all of us. I don't even have a placard, so I have a lot of work to do. Here's one thing I've done that I want to do more of, though: changing bathroom signs on our own to reflect and respect all genders. It took me until a few weeks ago to realize that I can just cover the original bathroom signs with my own pieces of paper. I drew some toilets and wrote ALL-Gender Restroom. I stopped paying attention to the placards and my privilege allows me to comfortably look for just the woman's bathroom. It's going to take a while to get the whole school to systematically change all bathroom signs to all-gender, so why don't we start now with our own temporary signs and make them permanent?

Systemic Violence

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 18 Feb 2015 14:56:00 -0600

The Rice Hillel held an event recently where they brought in several IDF soldiers to talk about their diverse experiences and backgrounds. In response, the Rice Left walked out in the middle of their event. I wasn't sure how I felt about the event itself when I first read about it in my college's announcements email. I thought it was weird to have soldiers talk to us all the way in the U.S., and it seemed fishy as a political and politicized event, but I couldn't pinpoint exactly what is so wrong with it.

After reading the Rice Thresher article about the event and walkout, I reflected on the issue of systemic violence and realized what the problem is: individual IDF soldiers' experiences and stories cannot account for state-sanctioned systemic violence.

Recall all the Black lives we lost and continue to lose due to state brutality in the U.S., for example in cases where police officers are the killers. Would it suffice for communities to meet and greet several police officers and have the officers talk about how they are pro-communities and anti-violence? No, because the problem is not that individual officers are "bad apples." Instead, the problem is that the justice system itself is inherently unjust and the violence is sanctioned by the state, not because of individual impulses of individual police officers.

Similarly, hearing from individual IDF soldiers who profess their love for peace and their solidarity with their Muslim, Christian, Jewish comrades does not address the problem of Israel's systemic violence against Palestinians. This is not to say that Palestinians are all innocent and do not commit harm. What I do mean to say is that Israel's systemic violence against Palestinians who do not have a state is a bigger problem than the straw-man problem of individual IDF soldiers being depicted in a bad light. Israel has the capacity and therefore has committed more violence overall, killing way more Palestinians than the other way around.

We should promote dialogue and peace, but if the dialogue is happening at the wrong place with the wrong people directing at the wrong problem, we are just distracted from the real problem.

#BlackLivesMatter

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 25 Nov 2014 16:24:00 -0600

My suite mates, friends, and I are sitting in our common room doing work and hanging out when we started talking about the grand jury's decision in Ferguson. We all frantically started looking up the decision, the responses, and to see what's next. We anxiously plugged a laptop in to replay President Obama's statement about the decision. We were at least mildly disappointed with the statement, but ultimately we understood why he had the pressure on him to give a speech as neutral as he did. Nevertheless, I followed twitter, I checked a live report scanner on Reddit, and I read news articles with live updates. Chaos ensued, and it felt like the world is watching. It felt so unfair, so crazy. Did we expect this was going to happen though? It didn't make the pain feel less urgent, it didn't make it go away.

Then someone we knew contacted us. All she wrote to me was, "hey girl you up for a protest," and I was ready to help. Over the next few hours, plans unfolded and over a thousand people were invited to the Facebook event. We needed a swift and organized response, and we needed to do it the next day, before people go home for the Thanksgiving holiday. Tasks were discussed and doled out. It sounded like puzzle pieces when the tasks were one word or two in casual bullet points. But it all came together the next day to make a big picture.

The next morning, Clara and I made posters in a small room that houses the multicultural affairs department alongside other folks for the protest. We made more than 30 signs full of quotes, angry messages, inspiring messages, chants for justice, and cause of death of many colored lives we've lost in this country. We worked diligently in mostly silence, putting our thoughts and rage and pain and love and empathy all on paper. The small room filled with the toxic fumes of sharpies and markers.

20 minutes before noon, we walked over to the quad to get ready for the rally. We put on music to accompany our silence in the protest. We organized ourselves into die-ers and sign holders. One by one we drew chalk outlines around our peers, all the while being haunted by actual chalk lines drawn around other people who actually lost their lives to systemic violence. People joined us in choosing signs to hold up, and we began to get into place, whether it's lying inside chalk lines or standing around chalk lines.

The next hour or so happened smoothly, in somber silence that screamed injustice and mourned deaths. People trickled in across the quad, some walking across and carrying on their usual business, others walked a little slower and scanned the situation, some pulled out their phones to take a quick picture or two, still others came to a stop and stared at the protest. I saw people stop at one place and scanned every poster, every person lying down, and stood in silence. I saw people staring at the ground in long moments of silence. I saw folks staring, fixated on one blank point in space, and I saw folks staring, fixated on a poster or another, as if they were staring the words into truth, wondering what those words mean, searing into their brains, pondering the weight of it all. And the words were heavy. I saw people I knew as well as people I have never seen: professors, staff, students, visitors, old, young, white, black, non-black, men and women.

No one spoke. The music chosen for the playlist played and echoed through the air in the quad over and among our protest. They were songs of supplication, of grief, of disbelief, of intense faith, of freedom, of unity. Each song touched my heart and the hearts of many others. They spoke louder than we could, and made our silence that much more meaningful. We all felt the sun beat down on us with its amazing rays that make life possible here on Earth. At first it felt warm, then later it started to burn and sting a little. But with every sensation, I thought about how lucky I am, how alive I feel, because I get to feel so acutely the effect of the sun, while others who passed away can never feel that anymore. I was so encouraged by everyone else. A white man lied down on the ground and on top of him was the poster I helped write.

I'm white... I don't have to fear for my life everyday

Another person held up another sign I wrote, and it felt affirming to know that a chant that touched me was chosen by someone else too.

There's no power like the power of the people 'cause the power of the people don't stop

I held one that someone else made that shared the same chants I wrote,

Know Justice Know Peace #Ferguson

And I can't help but think about how disturbed I am at some of the responses we got for our cause. To sum it up for you, the crux of their argument was just colorblind racism logic after colorblind racism logic, thrown in with some crime statistics and some details of history that they learned through cursory Google searches that they arm themselves with and think is the whole truth.

I go to a prestigious university, yet I know there are plenty of people here who think (and won't admit it except anonymously on Rice Confess) that #BlackLivesMatter is pulling the race card because all lives matter.

Here's my crude attempt at explaining why #BlackLivesMatter is trending and not #AllLivesMatter. We have to remind people, ourselves, and especially the State, that if indeed ALL lives matter, why has law enforcement time and time again since the 1970s and 80s show Black people and other people of color that their lives don't matter as much? Who are we supposed to trust if the people who swore to protect and serve us are working against us? Where do we get redress from when the murderer is protected by the grand jury and the whole situation does not even warrant a trial? The reality is that yes, whites kill whites as well as blacks and blacks also kill blacks, and maybe it is a surprise to you, but people DO talk about them. The problem is that state agents are granted more power than the ordinary white and black person and when they abuse that power, the biases within these agents show through in who they inflict violence on.

Colorblind racism about how all lives matter and how it's not about race or skin color is nonsense because we do see color and unfortunately color still clouds our judgments and life outcomes. You just can't begin to believe it because you either have privilege that prevents you from seeing how hard it is to live as a Black person or you internalize racism and believe that if YOU made it, then everyone else can too as long as they worked hard. But the reality is that the American Dream is not so simple and no, a lot of people who work hard or harder still don't make it. It's hard to make it when you have to fear for your life every time you're in public.

Stop using the "stop making everything about race" excuse and do some real substantive research. For example, I recommend the book The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander. Or how about when you feel like because you're white, a lot of hatred seems to be directed at you and your parents also worked hard to put you through college, so what's with all the "reverse racism?" I assure you that reverse racism is not a thing and you fortunately will not have to worry about it because people of color don't have the systematic power to make your life outcomes worse purely based on your skin color. Here is a great introductory piece explaining why reverse racism is not a thing. As a sociology major, I highly recommend you to go talk to some amazing sociology professors if you're at Rice. Talk to Dr. Byrd, who is the Wiess master, he's also a great resource.

Michael Brown's family hoped that all this would lead to positive change, and I share that hope. They are working on getting police to wear body cameras so we can hold their actions accountable. It is a great cause and I support it. Look into that. I hope that we all will get more educated and informed on the reality of people's experiences in light of all that has happened. Read news articles, read a diverse array of news platforms to get an even view, talk to people, ask questions, keep digging. It's easy to sit behind a computer and tell Black people off for mourning the deaths of their members, but it takes so much more to find out the truth, stand in solidarity, and do something about it.

Planting Seeds

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 13 Nov 2014 00:12:00 -0600

One of the things I learned when I went to church throughout high school was that the best we can do with our activism is to plant seeds. We can't demand that people come around and become super devout and passionate about what we care about as soon as we tell them. We can't expect to change people's lives by spending a week with them.

I've kept that in mind over the years at Rice. When I site-led an Alternative Spring Break my sophomore year, I didn't want my group members to think we were going to save the students we meet and somehow dramatically raise their grades and lift them out of poverty and dangerous neighborhoods. We were there really to learn and to plant seeds. To plant seeds of these inklings of ideas that people out there care about low-income inner-city children who deserve a safe and good education from loving educators. To plant seeds that college and success are possible. To plant seeds that hard work can pay off, although not always as likely if your skin color is darker. But seeds, nonetheless.

Since my freshman year, I've been involved with a club at school where we mentor low-income disadvantaged high school seniors on college applications and college readiness. Freshman year was the hardest. I woke up at like 6 or 7 AM once a week (to be fair, I thought I wouldn't have to do that anymore after high school...) to go mentor high school seniors for about an hour. It was all manageable work. Basically anyone who had the privilege to somehow end up at Rice had enough human and social capital, despite our socioeconomic status and varying degrees of financial capital, to help these seniors apply to colleges. I wish I had someone to just sit with me through the college applications online and show me that if they're in college right now, I can do it too. Even though I went to a prestigious high school where most people had the mindset of going to college, I worked through the applications alone. After my first year of mentoring, I found that I liked it enough and found it meaningful enough to return a second year, and a third.

Occasionally, I kept in touch with my mentees. One girl had emailed me back around the time after her first semester of college. She was a vocal vivacious student who was ambitious and confident. She did debate, and the confidence and influence of her debate coach reflected in her college essay that I edited. Never for a second did I doubt that her essay was good or that she is good enough for college. It was a matter of furnishing the words enough so the ideas are still the same, but the way it was delivered is a little prettier, a little more coherent.

This semester, things got even more tough with trying to connect with local high schools to set up mentoring with them. I didn't end up getting to mentor at a school, even though I was in contact with a school. I got busy and let other priorities consume me. I know I find the work to be meaningful, but it felt really distant from me, after my studying abroad and the summer, it's been so so long since I mentored. That's why I was so surprised to get an email from one of my former mentees today. Nested happily and simply among all my other Rice list-serv emails of long subject lines and fancy headings, I saw a notification for a personalized email titled, "Howdy, Update."

It was a short and sweet email, like hearing from an old friend who you didn't know you missed but you're so glad they're in your life again, albeit for a fleeting moment. He's been thinking about how he's learned and grown so much since college. He worked his way up at the school he is now and he's gonna transfer to another better school soon to continue his studies. He has goals, he feels hopeful for his future, and he's already feeling amazing about his present. The fact that he thought of me and wanted to let me know how he was doing was beyond flattering. All I did was plant some seeds, and he meticulously watered the seeds and nurtured them so that with his own hard work, he's succeeding. It's really beautiful to think that I just sat by him, listened to him talk about what he wanted to tell colleges in his essay and helped him reflect his best self, believed in him and pushed him, and all that means so much to him still, two years later.

To anyone who doubts that we can make a difference, you're wrong. Making a difference is not about seeing tangible results in crunchy numbers all the time. Making a difference is treating people with the respect they deserve and believing in them to plant seeds with them. Do your best and keep going. Who knows, maybe a few years down the road a beautiful plant will spring up and surprise you with its strength and thirst for life...

"Hi, I'm KC and I'm a member of AYA..."

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 20 Aug 2014 12:58:00 -0500

Last week, I worked with Anj to develop and practice for an outreach training for the youth of AYA. Since the art exhibit is coming up, it's time to learn more skills and get the community involved and interested in what our exhibit has to offer.

Unfortunately, police violence continues across the country and fuels the media. Names like Eric Garner and Mike Brown are our buzz words when we talk to strangers about violence against women, lgbtq folks and people of color.

I was most nervous about the role play because I wanted to model all parts of the outreach script so that the youth can understand how to approach people. One of the youth helped me practice role play and he was super helpful and enthusiastic. I practiced my clipboard flip to get people to hold the clipboard and see the flyer and stay a while for the conversation.

When the time came on Saturday, we had an extensive workshop on exploring our personal stakes in the issue of police violence, and how we can engage the public in doing something about an issue we all care about together. We addressed fears and anxieties about talking to strangers and made our way to busy streets and intersections near the office to take on outreach and kick its butt!

It was pretty daunting and difficult for the youth and they faced a lot of discouragement and impoliteness. Coaches went around to check on all the youth outreachers and provide feedback and support.

All in all, we outreached to hundreds of people and got twenty or so people to commit to coming. Whether or not they all end up attending the art exhibit, we planted seeds in the public to care about an issue that affects us all. I am so so proud of the youth for stepping outside their comfort zones and taking a leap of faith.

I remember being 17 and walking into handball courts and basketball courts in my neighborhood park that I grew up in, scared shitless to talk to people about things that mattered to me. But when there is need for justice, we have to learn to be fearless. I saw the youth I worked with this summer change and grow from discouraged and confused to equipped and passionate. The movement for racial economic and gender justice is making strides with every youth that takes on outreach and a stand.

Fun in the Sun

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 10 Aug 2014 11:47:00 -0500

Things have been switching up a little at the internship. On Friday, the youth do not meet, but two youths came into the office to help with transcribing the interviews we got with the public about police violence and violence against women and LGBTQ communities.

The pictures look great, and the quotes are awesome. I really enjoyed Friday because the rest of the staff weren't in, so it was just me doing work quietly, which I prefer, and hanging out with the two girls. They are great fun to talk to and very diligent, I had a lot of fun learning more about them, since most of the time when AYA meets it is a huge group and there's a lot going on and I'm usually busy making sure things go smoothly.

On Saturday it was a really different experience. AYA went out to the Bronx to help some groups do a mural on police reform and community safety. The mural is really elaborate and really neat, featuring a lot of symbolism and working together between communities and law enforcement. I got there late because I had a conference call for an upcoming seminar, but I'm so glad I got to help out a bunch still. A lot of the bottom half of the mural was done, and I helped out with all over the far right and the far left sides of the mural. It's so cool to be able to do art with your own hands and even though it was really hot out and we sweat a lot, we put a lot of love into it. Youth and people from other groups/backgrounds also were there to paint. I wish I got to know them, but maybe next time I'll take more of an initiative to do so.

At the end of the mural painting day, we closed out and debriefed. We were asked what we want the community to take away when they pass by the mural. I hope everyone can see a part of themselves in the mural, whether they identify most with the tree, the car, the roots, the clouds, the ground, the people, the buildings, the cops, etc. And feel like they can see themselves in a vision of a safe community that is grassroots. That would be awesome. A driving motivation behind my work is to push people to be able to imagine and see a better future, a world where things could change and give power to the people. If we can't even imagine ourselves in a better future, how can we start to want that future and work towards it?

Coming Along

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 6 Aug 2014 21:19:00 -0500

Things are coming along for the Asian Youth in Action art exhibit. It takes a long time to get everyone to give their opinions and decide on programming, scheduling, and all these logistics, but I think it's awesome that the youth get to decide what they wanna do. I wish I had a chance to do stuff like this when I was in high school.

One of the groups has also been working on a paper mache caterpillar for one of their activities for the art exhibit. I was really glad to see some other youth from other groups stay after to help them out and make the caterpillar. It's not done yet but it really is beautiful to be able to chill and get your hands dirty together with some friends and get to know people.

I'm really excited to see how the art exhibit turns out. One of the other youth submitted her art piece through me and I put it in a tote bag for now, and it's so cool! Depending on if you're standing to the left or right of the piece you see a different image. How fancy. I think a lot of people underestimate our own ability to do art. It's not about "looking good" or "sounding nice," it's about expressing yourself!

Asian Youth in Art

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 3 Aug 2014 23:44:00 -0500

I was just playing around on my computer when I was hit by an idea. A week or two ago, I read an article about a Minnesota woman who video recorded her street harassers and made business cards to hand out to these harassers to explain why street harassment is not okay. Her project can be found on CardsAgainstHarassment.com. I had been thinking about what I would want to submit to the art exhibit that AYA is hosting on August 24th. The art exhibit is focused on police violence, violence against women, violence against LGBTQ communities, and the intersections of those issues. I don't feel inspired to draw/paint/write a poem, and one idea I had was to perform spoken word. But I would probably just re-perform something someone else wrote. And how long would it take for me to memorize a whole performance and perfect it?

I have been reflecting on my experiences being harassed in public, and I've been meaning to think about what is something I can do about it. So I decided to make my own business cards as a way to respond to the issue and as an art piece to submit to the art exhibit!

I'm gonna make a plug for everyone to reflect on the issues I mentioned and submit art of any kind to the art exhibit. It does not have to be a masterpiece, really. Find out more about submissions and the art exhibit here.

If you click on the photo above you can find the full .pdf file of the cards I made :)

Visibly Female

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 2 Aug 2014 21:50:00 -0500

As part of the art exhibit that the youth in AYA are doing this summer, we went out to the community today to ask people in New York what they thought of police violence, violence against women, and/or violence against LGBTQ members. Some of the youth spent a lot of time planning the script and the action details. We finally got our groups together and went out today to talk to people. My group went to Union Square. It was a nice sunny day after the rain in the morning. There weren't a lot of youth and youth of color during that time of the day.

We spotted a couple of people wearing a pink vest that seems to be from some sort of NGO working on girl's rights, and we thought, hey, they must have something to say about gender-based violence, right? Let's ask one of them.

We approached one of the young men and it was a truly uncomfortable experience that we should've walked away from, no, I should've led them to walk away from, as soon as we realized how uncomfortable it was going to be.

This person was rude, condescending, interruptive, touchy, and creepy. He called me mean, he basically harassed all three of us who were females, and demanded a group hug at the end. And he had the nerve to say he thinks women being harassed is horrible because men who harass women on the streets have no respect and blah blah blah. Yet there he was being rude and making us feel uncomfortable as women. How can you advocate against other people enacting violence against women if you were doing it yourself? Especially if you're doing street outreach and trying to talk to other people as a representative of an NGO that supposedly supports women's rights. I was outraged, and I asked to speak to one of the supervisors present. He acted like he understood how I felt, but he could not commit to doing anything beyond telling that person's supervisor what happened. He told me multiple times to just go "to the higher ups" and complain to public outreach. Right, thank you for teaching me how to make effective complaints because otherwise I wouldn't have known, and thank you for doing nothing to stand up for violence against women.

Other than that, we spoke to some other public strangers who had interesting things to say about police violence and gender based violence. We didn't get to talk to as many people as we would like, but I enjoyed my time getting to know the youth I worked with and I think we worked with each other pretty well to make sure the action went smoothly... for the most part.

We'll hopefully process the photos of people we took and select key quotes from what each person says reflecting on the different topics, and put them up on Facebook soon. So much work to be done!

Troubleshooting

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 30 Jul 2014 22:28:00 -0500

I was supposed to go work in the office for my internship on Sunday and Monday to make up for the days I missed last week on vacation, but I was lazy and went in for part of Monday instead. I did some errands in the meanwhile so it's good to get some stuff done.

On Tuesday, we had some unexpected last minute emergencies come up and had to deal with it with the rest of the office. I didn't do a lot but everyone did such a great job supporting each other and troubleshooting. Ruben could not come to the office on Tuesday, so Vivian helped me take care of AYA's session on Tuesday. Thankfully, RAISE (Revolutionizing Asian American Immigrant Stories on the East Coast) came in and did a workshop, which was awesome, and that took up a good chunk of time.

RAISE works with undocumented youth to create safe spaces, share the experiences of undocumented Asian immigrants, and organize the youth to advocate for humane immigration policies. They do courageous and important work and it was so awesome to learn from them what it is like on a day-to-day basis for someone whose future seems so dim because of lack of documentation.

Check out their work here

https://www.facebook.com/RaiseOurStory
and
https://www.facebook.com/RaiseOurStory

They are putting a theater performance soon to explore their experiences, their feelings, and collective memories. Please support them and buy a ticket to the event! https://www.facebook.com/events/800617936639602/

The workshop really opened up our eyes. I had been following their tumblr but I didn't know too much about the issue. They showed us a short documentary that they made of some of their members, and it is really powerful. Check it out below...

Back from Vacation

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 26 Jul 2014 20:28:00 -0500

I was away from my internship for a few days to visit my godfamily in Virginia Beach. I call them my godfamily because that is one conventional way to explain our relationships. I actually know them through the Fresh Air Fund, which I wrote about in my college essay. Anyway, one of my "god"sisters and her family live in Virginia Beach. I took a few days to hang out with them and my godmom. The two young boys are fun to hang out with, they have such interesting personalities, and they loved the beach! They showed me all their favorite shows and favorite restaurants and hung out with me in the water!

I learned a lot and processed a lot of things I've been thinking about the past few weeks and months. It was a great few days to recharge and spend time with loved ones.

After a long and uncomfortable bus ride back to NYC, I went back to work the next day. Someone from the Red Umbrella Project came in and talked about the U.S.'s history of oppressing Asians and Asian women in particular. It was really interesting to see that linked with the contemporary human trafficking discourse, and how Asian communities are still being policed. It was really interesting stuff, but maybe a little over the heads of our youth. I think it's good to think about these issues, though. There are definitely things I've learned about when I was younger and knew way less and didn't understand much at the time but in hindsight I can still appreciate the things I was being taught.

Now that I'm back, it's the time of the year in the summer program to go forward with planning for the art exhibit! We're splitting up into groups to plan for different parts of the art exhibit. It's a lot of work but splitting it up makes it much more manageable. I'm a little tired from all the moving around and going right back to work, but I always learn so much.

Triggers

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 16 Jul 2014 11:48:00 -0500

Due to some scheduling changes, the AYA session tomorrow needs a workshop, so I'm working on the previously postponed Patriarchy workshop. Except this time we are focusing in on street harassment as a way to talk about patriarchy, homophobia, and transphobia.

So I'm looking up videos made by women that talk about street harassment, and a lot of videos have been made on this issue by white women. Which is awesome, but since we are trying to fight for racial social economic and gender justice, and the youth relate better to their own identities, I decided to look for Asian women speaking out against street harassment.

During the retreat, we did an activity called Life Maps, where we have to illustrate our life journey and pin point moments that inspired us to fight for justice and join CAAAV or AYA. I focused in on my experiences with street harassment growing up, and how sometimes the harassment would be mixed in with other elements of oppressing, including my race and ethnicity. Meaning that men would catcall me not only because I'm a woman, but also because I'm an Asian woman. Comments include trying to say "ni hao" to me, or some other Asian references, or whatever they think is Asian. This has made me so resistant and averse to anytime any strange man tries to strike up a conversation with me about my ethnicity or heritage. Sometimes they're just nosy but friendly store owners, but they can also be nosy but friendly but gross store owners toeing the line of sexually harassing me. It's caused a lot of problems before when I'm with guy friends who don't understand why I'm hostile to seemingly nice strange men trying to talk to me.

Anyway, so I'm doing some simple Google searches, and on racialicious.com, a blog on pop culture, race, and other feminist and social justice issues, I found an article from 2011 where an Asian American female reader submitted a video re-enacting messed up things that strange men would say to her as street harassment. The video is called "How to Hit on an Asian Girl/How Not to Harass an Asian Girl." Watching the video was a little weird. I wondered if the tone of the video would be less effective than others or if the language used to explain the harassment is too complex for the youth to fully grasp. But I stopped after 1:37 because it was too triggering and hard to sit through, even just reenactments of what nasty things were said to me and other Asian women. Then I worried if I can't sit through it, is it going to be too triggering for the youth to sit through? The workshop is slated for tomorrow, so if I can't find something else, maybe I will use a part of this video... I'll keep you posted.

Trigger Warning: video contains crude, racist, sexist, and objectifying language.

Back to the Grind

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 15 Jul 2014 15:36:00 -0500

Today's my first day back at the internship since our retreat this past weekend. Yesterday kind of flew by, since I just napped all day and watched cartoons and helped my mom make lunch for me to bring to the office for the week. I almost forgot until this morning that the youth are coming in today, because our regular summer programming starts! So we meet with them every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.

The retreat was long and tiring but really great. We were slightly delayed on Friday because the van reservations were messed up. But we moved along anyway and got things started. Everyone was a little tired but in good spirits. We got started on checking in, agendas, and logistics. Then we started on workshops on systems of oppression and white supremacy, which is pretty heavy stuff.

Over the course of the weekend, we learned a lot about the history of CAAAV, the history of Asian Americans in the U.S., how and why youth should organize, and the gender and sexuality workshop I worked on.

The staff worked really hard on making delicious meals to feed all of us, and it definitely paid off! The youth loved the food and were so excited for all the meals. In between all the workshops, we had breaks, energizer games, icebreaker games, and just fun times hanging out with each other. At night, the youth loved playing this version of mafia called Panther, which is Mafia but the events and characters are based on the Black Panthers and the civil rights movement. The first night alone, they played probably three rounds of it! On the second night, we were supposed to have a fun bonfire and make s'mores and tell scary stories. But because the grass and the wood were so damp, we couldn't get a fire going at all. Oh well, so we made s'mores indoors and mainly just played this murder mystery puzzle game where we know some details of a murder scene and we must ask yes/no questions to find out what happened! The scavenger hunt worked out well, even though it was a little easy for the youth to find the different items Ruben and I hid. Good thing I added riddles and funny tasks that the youth teams have to do to get points.

Even though sometimes the workshops felt a little bit dull and dragging along, I think we all learned a lot! People got to work with pretty much every one since we did group work and pair/share work all the time. There were a lot of chart papers used, skits performed, drawings made, and snacks, can't forget the snacks! We had snacks to keep us happy and engaged. All in all, we spent some time outdoors with nature and grass and bugs and also time indoors with each other and hanging out. Now its back to the grind of more workshops and fun in NYC!

AYA Retreat Summer 2014

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 10 Jul 2014 22:00:00 -0500

Tomorrow is the retreat!!!

Ruben and I have been working on the retreat details for this weekend. I stayed late today to help out. Even though there's a lot to be done, it seems like a lot has been prepared, so things should run smoothly tomorrow. We have about 6 workshops slated for the weekend, along with teambuilding and fun activities planned. I finished planning for the obstacle course and scavenger hunt, thanks to Ruben and Umma, one of the youth, who helped me look for things in the office that we can bring to the retreat and hide in the great nature.

Ruben and I also worked with Anj on the gender and sexuality workshop. We were going to do a patriarchy workshop but it is quite early on in the summer program and the youth probably would do better with some more foundational stuff on gender and sexuality, so we started a new workshop from scratch. It was kinda hard trying to find engaging ways to teach definitions about many umbrella terms, but I think we have some good ideas going. We charted up a lot of activities and definitions, so I hope the workshop is a productive learning process for us all.

I still have to pack for the weekend and wake up early tomorrow! I'm a little overwhelmed by spending a lot of time with a lot of people for three days, but I think it will be great bonding for all of us.

AYA Summer 2014 Orientation

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 8 Jul 2014 14:00:00 -0500

On Saturday, the day after July 4, was the AYA Orientation! The youth facilitators worked really hard to prep for all the workshops they were leading, and Ruben, Vivian, and I helped out to make a lot of logistics happen, and a lot of prep work involved writing up chart papers, whether it is the agenda, the different goals, group agreements, etc.

Saturday was super hectic! Not only did the new youth come, but a few of the current youth showed up as well, and it was a little unexpected but it was a merry crowd enjoying lunch and mingling together. I had never seen this many youth in our office space before, so it was a little overwhelming, but very exciting nonetheless.

We started out with going over the agenda and overall orientation goals, then we dove right in with some checking in and introductions. The bulk of the conversation during orientation was focused on the policing conversation. Since policing work is one focus of AYA and CAAAV, we began to talk about what Stop & Frisk is about and the negative effects of police violence and brutality. Stop & Frisk and police brutality do not happen only to young black and latino males, but also to women of color and LGBTQ folks of color. The videos that Ruben provided us were really poignant and I think they really got the youth thinking about how the police do not always keep us safe like we wish they would.

After an energizer game of Great Wing Blows, we learned a little about what AYA has worked on before, which included getting the Community Safety Act passed to hold NYPD responsible for Stop & Frisk and other actions.

We also went over the meticulously packed calendars for the summer. Three times a week are workshops, skills trainings, plannings, outreach actions, and a ton of fun in between. I think this gave the youth a sense of what they are getting into and to provide feedback. I'm super excited for the art exhibit, even though I will fly back to school before it happens. :(

Now that orientation is over, onwards to retreat planning!

Movimiento Por Justicia del Barrio

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 3 Jul 2014 20:00:00 -0500

Through CAAAV, I found out about an opportunity to attend an organizing symposium held by another grassroots nonprofit in NYC - Movimiento por Justicia del Barrio (Movement for Justice in El Barrio). The first day of the symposium was Wednesday, and it was pretty interesting. There were about 20 or so of us, mostly interns and organizers from different non profits all over the city, including the Education from the Inside Out Coalition, Citadel Global (Spelling?), Damayan, Southern Bronx River Watershed Alliance, and Children and Youth First, represented by my dear friend, Amanda Brown!

We went over some basics of organizing and got on the same page as everyone else since we all come from different backgrounds and organizations. We went over things like the role of organizers, the role of facilitators, and the role of members. We learned about the politics of listening and how important it is to listen when we are doing grassroots work with local communities. The Zapatistas in Mexico are a great example of utilizing listening to unite communities and begin conversations on social justice and social change. The short documentaries and clips were really educational and inspiring! Sometimes you need to let people do all the talking so they can realize what problems they have and feel the need to fight for change. No one knows the problems better than the people affected themselves. We worked in groups as well as in pairs to discuss and work on organizing pitches to recruit members. Amanda and I brainstormed how to create short pitches to appeal to people that may be motivated to join non profits through four different motives, whether it is because they are immediately affected by the issue or they want a better world for others.

During the break for lunch, Amanda and I ate some pizza generously provided by Movement for Justice in El Barrio, and we walked to the nearby Bryant Park and sat on the grass to enjoy the sunshine for a while. I think Day 2 of the symposium will be even more interesting!

Your liberation is my liberation

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 1 Jul 2014 13:27:00 -0500

On Friday, a couple of people from CAAAV and I volunteered as security marshals for the Trans Day of Action.

I had never done security stuff before, especially not for a big rally that deals with actual police. I was pretty nervous to do the security training before heading out to the action. The training helped give me an idea of what it will be like, but the rest is still rather unclear. It sounded like it won't cause too much trouble though, so I remained optimistic and headed out to the event. It was a great sunny Friday and people were gathering on the pier for the rally, to volunteer, or just tanning on the lawn in general.

As security marshal, I got a free t-shirt to wear. I was so excited to DIY design my free tshirt with the scissors they provided. I missed getting free t-shirts at Rice all the time and being able to let my creative juices flow! People complimented my t-shirt afterwards, and it made me feel great.

We had further security training, after which we began our posts to keep the community safe for the event. People from all walks of life came, some on bikes, some on glamorous high heels, some in beat up sneakers, others in heavy duty boots. People of all genders and ethnicity gathered to chat, catch up, and enjoy the day's festivities.

The speakers before the rally were really inspirational, despite the fact that I was on the far back side doing security and couldn't see them. One thing that particularly struck me was their emphasis on solidarity with other struggles. One speaker talked about trans activists as activists also for housing rights and employment rights, and they were proud of a rally that combines all these struggles. I don't think it's a focal point in a lot of rallies to acknowledge other struggles because they want to focus everyone's energies on the rally at hand.

It reminded me of my time in Curarrehue, Chile, with the Mapuche community. Anita told us that their fight is also our fight. Sure, they're fighting for land rights far away from us, but their struggle is also a struggle for our rights to housing and land and a clean and safe environment away from big corporations' activities.

At the end of my time abroad, we had a session on what to do coming back to the States and to our lives here. We had to brainstorm and practice what we would say when people casually ask us how our time abroad was. I decided I would share with people this quote I learned early on in the program, back in New York.

Lilla Watson, an Aboriginal activist, is credited with the quote,

"If you have come here to help me, you are wasting our time.
But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together."

That quote has stayed with me throughout all the countries. Even this summer as I intern at CAAAV, I want to learn about where my liberation is bound up with other Asian Americans, other youth, other women, other people of color, and other New Yorkers.

Before we marched, we were asked to turn to our neighbors and say, "your liberation is my liberation."

Throughout the rally, I joined in on the chants for transgender rights and it felt so empowering to stand in solidarity with fellow human beings. We talked a lot about what solidarity means and how it looks like on the lavish UN floor in Santiago, Chile. At many points in our discussion it sounded like we were not very hopeful about how solidarity can be successful and meaningful. But it meant the world to me to offer my time on a beautiful Friday afternoon to support a community that also supports my struggles, even though I know very little about theirs. Doing security, surprisingly, is full of love and dignity for the community we protect, and solidarity never seemed so real and meaningful.

#YesAllPeople

Girls Girls Girls

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 26 Jun 2014 17:15:00 -0500

It's been a week or so since I started working on the patriarchy workshop, and I can feel myself getting lost in it. Are the materials interesting? Am I involving the youth enough in this segment? Is this too complex? How can I make it more interactive? Is this going to take too long?

A few days ago, my host mom from Nepal, the amazing badass woman who has taken care of refugees and me and my classmate, who hosts a radio talk show about sex and the raunchy things, shared a blog post from her friend, Jemima, who is an amazing country coordinator, an insightful and heartwarming woman.

I first read Jemima's writings when the avalanche happened on Mt. Everest, an unfortunate event that hit close to home for her since she is a Sherpa. Jemima's writings were a breath of fresh air, full of sensory details but not in an overdone way, full of dignity and conviction but not in a bitter way that sours the reading experience.

This time, Jemima wrote about what it is like to live as a woman in Kathmandu. Specifically, as an upper-middle class girl, a privilege that she so consciously writes from and reflects on. Chronicling scenarios as a young girl, a teenager, a young woman, a friend, a lover, a victim, Jemima so accurately portrayed what it may be like to experience gender-based violence or witness it. More broadly, it is life as a girl living in patriarchy, in a fucked up world.

Jemima concludes by going back to what privilege means to a girl growing up in a fucked up world, despite having some.

"And you know, always, always, that you have just been lucky; that these men that surround the many unlucky women in the newspapers and the far-too-many others whose stories never make the pages, these are the same men that surround you too."

Read her post here

The ending reminded me of something else. The other day I remembered a spoken word piece I watched a while ago. I decided to rewatch it, and I ended up listening to it a couple more times. The words captured me and inspired me.

The video opens and your typical young white male is reading off a piece of paper in a dark room, directly into the mic in front of him. It begins as a quirky and witty poem about a young awkward boy's experience with girls growing up. Then the infamous Generation Y term of "friendzone" comes up, and the audience continues laughing, knowing this is going to get goooood. But what I didn't predict is that Dylan became a voice of clarity and solidarity. He quickly debunks the crazy idea that is friendzone, because it is rooted in patriarchy and oppression that men are entitled to women's bodies. It means that the "nice guys" are also oppressive, and oppressors are everywhere. The "nice guys" who play victim and distance themselves from rapists are not so unlike them. They all exercise and internalize power over women.

Just like Jemima, Dylan concludes by talking about how pervasive the problem is, and how anyone can be a perpetrator, and it takes all of us to actively take a stand:

"We all know the statistics.
Your rapist is more likely to be someone you know.
The boogie man, the stranger in the alley, is real,
but not as real as we are.
We all know the statistics.
but we don't know how to accept
how easily we become part of the problem.
You cannot kill a monster
until you are willing to see it in the mirror.
Until you recognize its shape in your own skin."

If you are interested, watch the entire thing here

Workshops Workshops Workshops!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 26 Jun 2014 11:04:00 -0500

After interviews are over, the AYA team is in full gear to develop workshops and flesh out the summer program's schedule. We've had more meetings since then to make sure we are on track and to plan out what the summer looks like. We had to really think to fit different workshops and skills trainings in as well as the extra activities we want to do. It's going to be a packed summer! It's not finalized yet since the youth leaders will get to look at it and give feedback as well. Watch out summer, we are doing a lot every time we meet!

I'm responsible for developing four workshops, and I'm pretty excited about them. One is on ableism and the other is on environmental justice. These two are issues that I do not know a lot about but I'm interested in and I think they're issues that deserve to be on the table. Researching for curriculum development materials has definitely taught me a lot about these topics, though.

My favorite workshop and biggest priority right now is the patriarchy one. I have so much to say about this topic, but the workshop will be held during the retreat for the summer program, so it will be quite early on in the foundation of things. Instead, I began to throw ideas I have for deeper analysis into a separate google doc for a Patriarchy 201/Feminism workshop! I really hope there's time for me to maybe facilitate this workshop for the youth in the leadership committee. I guess we will see. While researching stuff for patriarchy and sexism and feminism, I came across new things that really opened up my analysis. You learn something new everyday!

Here's a snippet of what new analysis I learned:

Modern sexism refers to three basic beliefs:

The belief that sexism is no longer a problem in today's world

That programs designed to help women are not necessary

That women who complain about sexism are just causing trouble

I gotta hustle and finish up these workshops, so until then, a toast to feminism :)

Interviews Interviews Interviews!

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 19 Jun 2014 20:41:00 -0500

Things are moving along! We are getting closer one step at a time to the beginning of AYA's summer program.

On Saturday, Sunday, and Tuesday, I helped with the interviews to find a great bunch of youth for the summer. There was a learning curve and we improved along the way. Interviews are always so exciting. I'm irrationally excited about group interviews because it feels great to hold so much power in my hands and to make people do whatever you want. I am really proud of the three interviewers who are current youths in AYA. They are confident, helpful, team players through and through and very thoughtful about what they value. They are fair in their judgments and opinions after every round of interview, and they are delightful to work with.

We basically spent all of Saturday and Sunday doing interviews. The interviewees are very unique and had great things to share. Their personalities are probably somewhat less apparent due to the time constraints and the nerve-wrecking nature of the interviewers, but when they did shine through in the interview and/or in the paper application, they proved to be such thoughtful, confident, and genuine youth. We had a variety of personalities and backgrounds that made interviewers very interesting and unpredictable.

My next favorite part about interviews is the deliberation part after interviews. On Sunday afternoon we sat at the CAAAV office and Jeff helped us stick post-it notes on the wall to ponder all the applicants' fates. We eventually decided to accept a great number of applicants and to waitlist a couple more and to defer another couple more who would be less busy during the school year. We had some trouble articulating our thoughts and opinions for certain parts, but overall I think we did a good job deliberating, and I think we all ended the task feeling pretty good and hopeful about this summer. Afterwards, I drafted emails to send to the applicants to inform them of our decisions. It felt important to me to title the email subject with "Congratulations!" for those who were accepted. The last thing they need is to open the ominous email, nervously skim/read a couple of sentences, only to squeal when their eyes finally catch the words congratulations, you have been accepted!

We received overwhelmingly positive responses from everyone, and that makes me even more excited to work with them this summer. This weekend is the last gathering for the current youth in the school year, and I will be joining them for a fun day at a local park. I think it'll be great to meet the current youth and to celebrate all that they've done this past school year as I look forward to working with a new group. Sunday Funday, here I come!

First Week Down

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 13 Jun 2014 13:03:00 -0500

It’s been a week since I first started at CAAAV!

I feel like I’m slowing getting the hang of things as days go by. On Friday I went to Vladeck public housing nearby Chinatown to gauge the amount of Asian American tenants there and John and I sure learned a lot. Social conditions there go beyond just housing, but also how the Asian tenants are organized. Apparently there are social workers that work with Asian tenants there, and they can be a great influence or a nuisance. For the most part, I have been working on AYA (Asian Youth in Action) stuff, including helping with planning the summer schedule, developing curriculum for the various political education workshops, and more pressingly, working with youth leaders on the group interview structure for this summer’s AYA youth. The interviews are tomorrow and Sunday, and I am super excited. I enjoyed working with the three girls who came in for long hours to work out how they want the group interview to go. I think it is incredible that they get to create their own interview and administer it. I am excited to sit in as support and backup with Ruben and Jeff. I read the interviewees’ applications yesterday and some youth are greatly insightful and enlightened beyond their years. I wish I was half as aware of oppression and as eloquent when I was 18. I think the caliber of youth this summer will be incredible and I am excited to be a part of it.

Everyone at work has been super supportive! Jeff gave me really encouraging and useful feedback, and I feel like I have control over my work and environment because everyone trusts me and give me the freedom to do my work.

Another thing the other interns and I started to work on is planning for the summer screening fundraiser. We watched the documentary that will be featured in the fundraiser and it is called Delano Manongs, and it is about Larry Itliong’s involvement with organizing Filipino farm workers in Delano, California to strike in 1965. I don’t know much about Asian American history, and it is interesting to learn about something crucial to labor history that is very multiracial and progressive in its time. Learning about a side of history, the Filipino involvement and initiation of the strike, that is very unheard of, as opposed to the Mexican majority in the united farm workers movement, reminds me of a piece called Minority Histories, Subaltern Pasts that I read in one of my study abroad courses with Dr. Rodriguez ;) How history is written and perceived and continued is really important and history in its traditional sense fails to capture a lot of important details. I started doing outreach by contacting Filipinos I know and unsurprisingly, their close-knit network made my work way easier and for now the people who have replied to me seem enthusiastic to help spread the word! I think there will be a great turnout for the screening fundraiser, and I hope I get to serve drinks during the event. No one is liked more than the person who hands you happiness in a cup, am I right?

One thing I want to work on more intentionally is using the correct preferred gender pronouns for one of my bosses/supervisors. The person’s preferred gender pronouns are they/them/ and their name, and I’ve slipped up a few times already the past week, because I did not even think about it when I said it and I did not notice I did it until others pointed it out to me. As much as I study gender and sexuality, I have met very few people who go by alternative gender pronouns, so I have very little practice with training that part of my life and it makes me feel awful that I internalize gender binary and speech so thoroughly that it is completely automatic and unconscious to assign gender pronouns to people. I think it makes them less than comfortable and I want to work harder at challenging myself to be sensitive to interactions like that and to create a comfortable environment for them.

She/Her/KC's First day

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 5 Jun 2014 22:19:00 -0500

Today was my first day at CAAAV! I arrived on time at 10:30am for the intern orientation, despite the fact that it was raining pretty hard this morning. Vivian, the project manager, and Anj, the lead organizer, led the orientation for me and John, and the other intern, Jeff, sat in since he started at CAAAV a few months ago already. The work environment is very casual and caring. I really like that when we introduce ourselves, we have to say not only our name but also our preferred gender pronouns. A lot of groups fight for social justice but neglect justice and sensitivity for those who do not fit in conventional gender identities. So it made me feel comfortable knowing that I am interning at an organization that truly seeks to make space for everyone regardless of race, class, gender, or sexuality.

Besides introductions to all the staff and learning about the office space and logistics, we also had to talk about what we want out of this internship, what we bring to it, and what we expect of ourselves, our supervisors, and the organization as a whole. I am excited to bring my interpersonal skills as well as facilitation and teambuilding skills to the internship. I also want to push others to recognize and dismantle oppression. But I’m also excited to learn from the organization and from the youth who I will work with – I think they will challenge and push my thinking just as I will for them, and I think I will learn a lot about Asian American issues and history together with the youth. I really hope to connect with the youth in a way that transcends the common denominator that we happen to be Asian Americans, but more so in a way where I learn about where our liberations and struggles are bound up with one another.

After lunch, I met with Ruben, my supervisor in Asian Youth in Action (AYA), the program that I am working with this summer. I had met Ruben before back in January when I interviewed at CAAAV, and I am excited to work with him this summer. We talked about timelines, expectations, responsibilities, and working styles to make sure we work out a way to interact with each other and maximize our work. Apparently when the summer program starts in July, we will be meeting with the youth on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, so I will be working mostly from Tuesdays to Saturdays as opposed to Mondays to Fridays, which is something rather new for me, so I look forward to trying that out.

Vivian gave John and me a short informal fundraising training. The kickoff to the summer program for the youth is a badass retreat in July to the Catskill Mountains upstate and we are helping fundraise. I made a razoo fundraising page for it and one of my professors from my study abroad program (IHP) actually shared my link and post! I hope my networks and extended networks come through for me and support me because it will be really important for me, as a new intern, to bond with the current youth and the new youth for AYA during the retreat. Please check out the razoo page to find out more about what I am fundraising for and share the page to help me reach my goal!

http://www.razoo.com/story/Training-And-Fun-For-Asian-Youth

For the rest of the day, I mainly helped out with folding the monthly newsletters. It was a good way to do some mindless work and chitchat to get to know other people at CAAAV. Everyone helped me brainstorm ideas for healthy meals I can make in advance for lunches during the week, that way I do not have to keep buying lunch every day. So far I have a pretty good list of meals to start with. I even went to Target tonight after dinner to buy a seat cushion for my chair at CAAAV so that I can be comfortable during work. I am so ready to take on the work!

But I must thank Rice's sociology department, because the Chandler and Ian Davidson Social Justice Internship is supporting my endeavor this summer. As a sociology major, I really got to learn about patterns that exist among groups of people in society and examine the forces that lie within these patterns. I have always had a passion for social justice. It is something I live for and I am excited to combine all my interests in human rights, marginalized populations, women, and a new found interest in Asian American issues in my internship this summer, thanks to the support from Rice.

How KC is Not Saving the World

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 14 Mar 2014 09:06:00 -0500

This post has taken me a few days to finally sit down and finish writing. I came back from three days worth of visiting various refugee communities in Jordan, and I was exhausted. When we finally had a debrief on the whole experience, I wanted to blog even more. But then even more things happened, and I just sat around being tired and overwhelmed.

Today, one of my professors emailed us the Thought Catalog article by Kelsey Parsons in response to increasing criticism against volunteering abroad. I read the article, and I was struck by Kelsey's patience with all the comments and honestly responding to a lot of them to defend and refine her position. Sure, her article was not written to be an excellent piece of literature to be remembered forever more, but what her argument sparked was tons of people spending ridiculous amounts of time to criticize her and others like her while the rest of the world is suffering. Sure, I scoff at short-term projects that may waste money, time, and do more harm than good, and at people who know very little and think they know how to help people. Sure, we SHOULD be critical and careful and passionate in our efforts to help people. But the reality is that in the United States not enough of us give nearly enough funds or time to those in need. There is so much more that still needs to be done that no one can always accurately predict whether or not a project or mission will fail miserably and harm the people it wanted to help, so people do their best to minimize their damage and move forward. If your project is a small one, at least it has less potential to do harm on a large scale. And if it succeeds, it has done so much good on a small scale.

Somewhere along the spectrum between volunteers who do harm and know nothing and people who greatly change the world are students like me who are on an educational program, not a service trip, to learn about human rights and suffering and not volunteering. I can't speak for everyone on my program, but I know I spent hours consumed in guilt and powerlessness and walking on eggshells and critically analyzing my actions, my experience with those in pain and suffering, and the power dynamics involved with all the players that create the opportunity for me to learn.

I had started to write my full experience visiting Zaatari, the refugee camp in Jordan with over 120,000 Syrian refugees, but for this post, I want to highlight the specific experiences over the past few days that made me question what I was doing, how I can help, and how can I not contribute to more harm. For example, when a group of maybe 6 of us accompanied by a translator visited a couple of Syrian refugee women in their prefabricated caravan units, they offered us coffee. Again and again at various refugee families' homes, they generously offered large groups of us such hospitality even despite having very little. Some of us hesitated to accept the tea or coffee, and I feel so honored and guilty that my visit is to learn about their lives but not to immediately help alleviate their situation. Their offering me, a privileged student, tea and coffee just made me feel as though the power imbalance was made even greater - I am privileged and they are contributing to my privilege to enjoy more things in life like coffee. It felt so humbling and terrible. But during the debrief, I learned from my classmates that to respect the people we meet, we should just accept the hospitality, and furthermore, one of my classmates shared a positive way to look at it - to her, it made the power imbalance less great and actually put us more on equal footings when families offered us coffee, just as any other human families casually serving tea to welcome visitors. It's a gesture that chips away at the overwhelming image that refugees are so powerless; it gave them power. Things aren't black and white; I thought by receiving coffee I was being superior and privileged, but maybe it dignified the people to share with me instead of me just taking something from them.

After learning about different families' stories, we often ask them what they want us to say to the world about them and what can we do for them as students. They knew there wasn't much for us to do; they usually just ask us to spread the word and tell the world their stories. Many of them want to eventually go home. Politics never ever really came up in our conversations with them. Politics becomes one big thing that is over our heads when families just want to be safe and together. This goes for Syrian refugees who are newly arriving, for Iraqi refugees who have been here a few years, and for Palestinian refugees who have created new generations of families since they were displaced over 50 years ago. Jordan is a poor country and the reality is that there is not enough being done for refugees and people who need it.

So, it would be silly of me to dwell on whether or not the photo I was asked to pose in with a bunch of Syrian refugee kindergartners holding up toys we gave them is oppressive and contributes to white savior complex. I always acknowledge that it may be super problematic, but I need to move on from what my professor calls "holier than thou-ness," the self-righteousness that wastes so much of my time feeling like I have to and know how to be as ethical as possible in ways that other people don't. It woke me up to the feeling that being so obsessed with my actions is egotistical. It doesn't mean I should be unaware and not think twice about anything I do, but it does mean that I need to be fair to myself and to others and realize that there ARE ethical ways to respond to others' suffering, and I don't need to be paralyzed by the fear that I might do something wrong. That is why I support people like Kelsey and others who try to do whatever they can in ways that contribute no harm, and not people sitting around treating every volunteering or development effort as the same and with disgust and criticism.

My professor reminded us of one ethically responsible way to respond to what we've learned from the families we visited: donate to them, spread the word, and ask others to do the same. It sounds incredibly simple but yet I've forgotten it. Here are three organizations that we have either encountered or worked with that supports Syrian, Iraqi, and Palestinian refugees in Jordan. Please consider the refugees' situation, learn about it, ask me anything you want, and consider donating to these organizations: Save the Children, Caritas Jordan, and Collateral Repair Project.

I'm not saving the world and I don't know how to make a difference yet, but I am learning to walk with people in their suffering, and that is one good place to start.

Privilege

noreply@blogger.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 17 Feb 2014 01:45:00 -0600

One of the best class sessions we had was on the question of privilege and why do we do this “comparative” program of human rights. The deep life question pushed everyone’s thinking and in many ways felt like an existential crisis. Why do we bother to compare three countries and write a paper on it? What good does it do? For one, writing about our experiences is a way to respect, acknowledge, and thank the ones who shared so much of their lives with us, who allowed us into their lives and histories and stories. I remember at the end of my summer working at Cerecare in Shanghai, my supervisors were really enthusiastic that I was going to write a reflection on my experiences there. My presence during those two months did very little to substantially change the quality of life for the kids who inspired me, and the least I could do is to thank them in ways that I do know – by writing about it. Even though not that many people read that reflection, it IS important that I wrote it. Another reason that we do what we do on this program is that we are privileged. I never wanted to feel useless because I knew writing a paper on my experiences and studies won’t change the world. The nature of this program isn’t so that we can save the world, it’s so that we can use our privilege to learn all that we can and hopefully one day make a positive dent in this world. It is for the same reason that I do Alternative Spring Breaks and that they continue to be some of the most remarkable educational experiences in my life. One week somewhere won’t save anyone we interact with, but it will at least allow us to learn experientially for one week so that maybe we can even begin to think about how to make things better. On ASBs and on this program I’m not saving anyone, I’m just learning for my own good and hopefully one day it will translate into other people’s good. That is why I am so grateful for all the speakers we meet and organizations we meet. They know we can’t do much to help them, but a lot of them gladly share themselves with us anyway.
A few days after that class session, we traveled to Boudha, an area in Kathmandu with a large population of Tibetan refugees. We met with a wonderful lady who works for the UNHCR on the Tibetan refugee program, and then after lunch we met with some Tibetan refugees who are high school students in India. The Tibetan government in exile set up schools and support systems in India, so some students are fortunate to attend school there and some of them return to Nepal to stay with relatives during vacations. In close proximity, two other classmates and I talked with a grade 10 Tibetan refugee. He was very open, friendly, and inquisitive. He was deeply perplexed by the Chinese government’s refusal to speak with Tibetan leaders. Even though he never ever blamed the Chinese government’s abuses on Chinese people in general, as I sat there talking to him, I felt increasingly uncomfortable. He could clearly tell I am Chinese. Did he think consciously about my identity there, talking to him about his oppression? Did my identity make him uncomfortable? Did he hate me? I had never felt so terrible being Chinese before. As an American, I routinely deal with the privileges I have especially when interacting with people and groups who have been oppressed or harmed by American policies. But I never felt terribly guilty because the United States is so large, the guilt felt so widely distributed. So when I sat there contemplating my ethnic identity and how specific that is, I didn’t know how to interact with our speaker. I walked on eggshells and asked safe questions, or none at all.
But the experience took a remarkable turn later in the conversation. Our speaker grew up attending Chinese school since China occupies Tibet, so in some ways he knew more Chinese than English. When he asked us a complicated question about obstacles in education, he turned to me and asked me if I can translate the question to English if he asked it in Chinese. I felt so useful and honestly surprised that a language that came to oppress him and his people can be used for good dialogue, for peace, and for bridging the gap between all of us. Near the end of our discussion, he also explicitly mentioned that he does not blame all Chinese people for the wrongs of the Chinese government. I breathed a bigger sigh of relief later that day when I befriended another Tibetan speaker, a girl who left Tibet when she was very young. She initiated conversation with me and was so enthusiastic to make a new friend. She had a really sweet smile and aspired to be a dance teacher one day. She asked me about my ethnicity because I looked almost Tibetan to her. Identities became so fluid at that moment, we weren’t just a Tibetan refugee and a Chinese-American, we were also two girls who go to schools and deal with patriarchy and oppression and appreciate pop culture. We even talked about Korean pop culture over a meal. Who knew that’s what some Tibetan high school students are all about nowadays? I also remember the days in high school when I tried out a few Korean dramas, movies, and boy/girl bands. It was so unlikely yet it felt familiar to just bond over Korean popular media, while eating French fries at a restaurant across the street from a beautiful Buddhist temple in a country native to none of us.