alfred lives here

No, I Won't Clone My Pet...

2012-05-24T09:09:00.000-06:00

I love my dog and step-dog, and we pamper them endlessly. They are well taken care of and much loved, with toys, treats, daycare, loving family, long walks, and lots of hugs. My husband teases me about Alfie being the love of my life. And it's likely true. Still there are limits, and if I didn't know that before, I sure do now.

This week we watched a show called I Cloned My Pet on TLC. This show was intriguing and yes it was totally disturbing. The show features pet lovers who have lost their dogs and then spend from $50,000 to more than $150,000 to bring them back; they go through Korean doctors who take DNA from the dog, create a cloned embryo, do their voodoo, and insert it into a surrogate, who gives birth normally to the clone of the lost dog. Or two clones. Or three...

Is the second generation dog really the same dog? Some say yes, some say no. Based on the show, the clone has a similar but not the exact same personality. Seems more like a cousin through chemistry than the same dog.

This is clearly about love, I get that. I feel for these people -- the woman who lost her dog Kabuki to cancer, the man who lost his Chihuahua Bob to a Rottweiler attack. Either of those would break my heart. Hell, I sat in the car and cried when Alfred was having eye surgery. I see and I get people struggling and spending big money on treatments for a cancer-sticken pet because their pets are family. You do what you can, and then at some point it is time to say goodbye.

While the show was interesting and touching, it did not touch on the real controversial aspects of cloning in terms of ethics. Since Dolly the sheep was cloned in 1997 this has been a hot-button issue, and while I see the research potential, for a pet, this seems ethically questionable and economically irresponsible. For the couple who spent $155,000 to clone their golden retriever, I can't help but think they could have bought a purebred golden puppy who would have been a total joy to them, and they also could have saved hundreds of doggie lives in a shelter.

Dogs bring happiness. And if these people or anyone else wants a dog, there are lots of dogs out there in shelters who need homes. Or go through a reputable breeder if you have really specific wants in a dog. We will follow one of these options; our dogs are aged 5 and 12, and there will be more dogs in our future.

I love our dogs and hope they live a long time. But when they are gone, they are gone. And this is not about just about pets. If I go before my husband, he won't clone me. He will miss me, but he won't clone me. He will enjoy the quiet in the house, and the (alleged) lack of cereal crumbs on the counter... and he won't clone me.

Big Gay Marriage, Year Two...

2012-05-22T14:02:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow is our second wedding anniversary... Happy Anniversary, Honey!

And uh sorry I am not gonna be there, but this job means travelling a lot, so enjoy your day of peace and quiet (except for the adorable yet loud barking dogs).

Here is the post I wrote last year for our first anniversary; not that much has changed, except the coyotes have not been spotted in months, and yes we are still waiting on our builder to finish the effing landscaping...

I write this post sitting at the counter in our new kitchen, in our new house, while my beloved 70s music (hello Little River Band!) plays through our fancy dancy new sound system and the world's cutest furball is sprawled across my lap. I look through the windows and see the stately trees and the tranquil lake, the rabbits and the Canada Geese. And I am amazed at and appreciative of life.

Late the other night the dogs and I were out for a pre-bedtime walk, and I was thinking how fortunate I am in terms of life, love, marriage, home, career, all of it. Then we met a confused lost wolf, or a skinny really angry dog, and yep I stopped being esoteric and got the hell home. Though I truly do realise how fortunate I am... uh, except for the wolf part.

Life is not easy or smooth, and over the last year it feels like I have done a swan dive off every cliff of change you can, except literally jumping off a cliff. Cuz I'm a pussy.

The past year changes... selling a house, moving in together, wedding and marriage, building a custom house, moving again, trying to sell another house, resigning from my volunteer position of 6 years, resigning from my employer of 12 years, starting a new job. Plus add in the stress of money, family, homophobia, homophobic family (some, not all...), and life in general. Life is hectic craziness, people.

Amidst good and bad, turmoil and calm, Charlie Sheen lunacy and vapid royal weddings, I realise how fortunate I am. One year ago today I married a great guy. And he married me (it's way easier when you both agree). I am lucky to have found him, and we are lucky to live in a place where we can legally wed and it is (mostly) accepted by society.

We have each other, people who love us, a wonderful new home, and two amazing if a tad spoiled dogs.

I have learned a lot this year --- distancing yourself from negative people, being comfortable using the words "my husband" though it may make other people uncomfortable, how to truly partner with someone, and yes there really are 23 ways to fold towels (and apparently my way is wrong).

And yet in the middle of all this madness I sit in a rare moment of peace and realise how fortunate I truly am.

Happy first anniversary honey! You are so lucky... and, uh, this blog post is your present...

Love To Love You Donna Summer....

2012-05-20T08:29:00.000-06:00

The death of Donna Summer last week shocked me. While I didn't know her personally, and yes I was a fan, let's face it, people die all the time, celebrities die all the time, and it's sad, but we move on... but still... Disco Queen Donna Summer?

Summer was not troubled like Whitney Houston, and she kept her battle with cancer quiet. I loved her music, it was upbeat and fun and always put me in a good mood. It was sexy at times, lovely and inspirational at other times. And as someone who has spent thousands of hours running with an iPod, Summer's music was perfect exercise music, with a pounding beat, a straightforward story line, and breathtaking soaring vocals.

Before Gaga and Madonna, before I knew the terminology or the culture, Summer was a gay icon, with disco music, crazy fashions, and elaborate stage shows. I remember staying up late to watch her Bad Girls TV special with her beret-wearing PG hooker by the lamppost and being amazed.

Summer fell out of favour with much of the gay community due to a since discredited story about homophobic remarks a long time ago, a story she sued over, and went on to become a fundraiser and advocate in the battle against AIDS. Before the internet, before Entertainment Tonight and TMZ, she ignored the story rather than fight it, until it was too late to put the lying genie back into the bottle.

Summer was more than the queen of disco: she was a songwriter, had an opera-quality soprano voice, was a mother and grandmother, and won five Grammy's including awards for best vocals in dance, inspirational, R&B, and rock performances. She was a huge influence on other musicians, and tributes rolled in this week from Bono, Madonna, Barbara Streisand, Gloria Estefan, Elton John, Macy Gray, Beyonce, Aretha Franklin, Quincy Jones, and many more.

After hearing about Summer's death, I went down to the basement, dug out Donna Summer CDs and played them non-stop in the car - On The Radio, There Goes My Baby, She Works Hard For The Money, Bad Girls, Melody of Love, Hot Stuff, Carry On, MacArthur Park, Love to Love You Baby... and yes among our collection we had many Donna Summer CDs to choose from, because we're gay.

Here are my favourite Donna Summer songs.. what are yours?

Love is the Healer

MacArthur Park

Last Dance

On The Radio

No More Tears/ Enough Is Enough (duet with Barbra Streisand)

I Feel Love

and from her last album, 2008's Crayons, Stomp Your Feet and The Queen Is Back...

Gay men adored Summer. We still do. Donna Summer's accidental rise and fall as a gay icon, when she went from writhing out Love to Love You Baby at the disco to talking about God and being misquoted about AIDS, was probably an education for future artists about how not to handle your publicity.

Her legacy is her music and her charity work. We miss you, Donna Summer, rest in peace...... toot toot, beep beep...

License Plates Gone Wild...

2012-05-17T09:09:00.000-06:00

You really can find anything on the internet...

including strange and stupid things that morons have chosen for their personalized license plates... I couldn't decide if I was entertained or horrified by most of these...

WHAT THE EFF ARE YOU PEOPLE THINKING?

(photos from happy place.com)

So apparently people are driving around proud they are old pedophiles or waiting for the day you turn 18, of course that is when they have free time from shaking babies and embracing slavery...

And I have no comment on the "Jis" one... what the hell are you people thinking?

2012-05-15T11:11:00.000-06:00

It looks like the GAP is making good on their promise to modernize the brand. In addition to adding more colour to their shelves, they’re also adding a little diversity to their campaigns with a new ad in Los Angeles featuring a very cute gay couple next to the slogan Be One.

After their failed campaigns against JC Penney and Urban Outfitters, I am guessing those One Million Hateful Moms will be after this one next... or are they sick of being hateful and also losing these fights?

Besides the obvious social justice about all of us being equal, you think the right wingers would figure out that this is about advertising, and we the gays like to shop...

Favourite New Sign...

2012-05-13T14:02:00.000-06:00

Sometimes you find crap on the internet, from people selling Newt Gingrich bobbleheads to everything Kardashian, and sometimes you find cool stuff like this, my new favourite sign....

Obama Endorses Gay Marriage....

2012-05-09T16:07:00.000-06:00

Historic day today... Barack Obama became the first sitting US President to endorse gay marriage... and sure he could have done it earlier, or he could have done it as part of the Democratic platform, but still, what a huge historic moment. It got better!

Obama's announcement, after refusing to take a clear stand for months, cheered gay rights groups who have long urged him to support gay marriage. It also highlights a clear divide with Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney, who opposes gay marriage. Polling suggests the nation is evenly divided on the issue.

"I have hesitated on gay marriage in part because I thought that civil unions would be sufficient," Obama said on Wednesday in an interview. He added that, "I was sensitive to the fact that for a lot of people the word `marriage' was something that invokes very powerful traditions, religious beliefs and so forth." Now, he said, "it is important for me personally to go ahead and affirm that same-sex couples should be able to get married."

This is a huge moment in the ongoing history of the civil rights movement and marriage equality. Huge!

As with all things gay, I am going to leave the last word to gay icon and advocate Bette Midler, who tweeted: I always knew something had to replace disco, but I never dreamed it would be marriage!

North Carolina Goes Backwards....

2012-05-09T08:08:00.000-06:00

Yesterday the voters of North Carolina voted for Amendment One, which banned marriage equality (aka same-sex marriage) in the state. This measure also scrapped civil unions for gay and straight couples.

Pundits are saying this may also impact adoption rights, as well as health care and other benefits for same sex couples and their families. In addition to the basic rights involved, there was a spotlight on this one due to some celebrity wattage -- Bill Clinton campaigned against the amendment, Billy Graham in favour of it. This also gets extra attention as the media coverage grows over the vague marriage equality stance of the Obama administration.

As for North Carolina, the redneck stereotype lives on... this is where an amendment outlawing interracial marriage remained a part of the state constitution until 1971.

To the people of North Carolina, if any of you stumble across this blog, I have to ask... please explain how allowing marring equality would truly negatively impact your lives...? I mean, really? Then again, this is a state where it is still legal to marry your first cousin, and where there are no employment protection so people can be fired for being gay, no questions asked.

Hey North Carolina.... to the 40% who voted against this measure, thank you and job well done. For the rest of you, hey people, hate is not a family value, period. As this was abuzz online last night, here's my favourite tweet of the evening, from the actor and activist Mia Farrow: Oh North Carolina ---- the disappointment we feel now is nothing compared to the bewilderment and shame your children will feel.

(visuals from thenewcivilrightsmovement.com and someecards.com)

Dinosaur Farts, The Voice, John Travolta's Penis, And...

2012-05-08T11:11:00.000-06:00

I have a laptop or iPad on my lap when watching TV. And usually a dog or two napping across my legs.

Last night during The Voice performance finale -- and by the way, amazing awesome fantastic duet on The Beatles' Yesterday, Adam and Tony -- I was on twitter. This is not unusual, ask my husband.

And for my own sanity and perspective, it's a good thing I peruse The Globe and Mail and Entertainment Weekly online, cuz in addition to all the Christina Aguilera bashing (okay I did some of that, she's such a bitch), here's the headlines a la twitter:

1- Re: @TheRealXtina's horrible behavior tonight: WWWDS? What Would Walt Disney Say? #tsktsk #TheVoice (yep had to include Christina bashing one...)

2- Stephen Colbert Is Very Afraid of Teens Drunk on Purell

3- Bishop Won't Let Group Publicly Honor Gay Student

4- Obama's Vague Gay Marriage Stance Under Scrutiny

5- Some of you people retweet the dumbest shit

6- The Winnipeg Jets are going to the Western Conference Final for the first time in franchise history! (uh, how did a sports one get in here....?)

7- Christina, Don't judge. Must we revisit your National Anthem situation, falling at the Grammys, etc etc?....#TheVoice (yep, another one...)

8- Jon Stewart Has Some Questions for France

9- Who's reading Eugenides' "The Marriage Plot" and dying from every leaf and page of beauty therein? Me, that's who.

10- Hillary Clinton Wants To See A Female U.S. President, Says It Won't Be Her

11- Selena Gomez & Ashley Benson talk breaking out of the 'good girl hold' (uh, problemo here, I don't know who Ashley Benson is...)

12- Dinosaur farts caused global warming in the Jurassic period

13- Lawsuit Alleges John Travolta's Penis Is 'Roughly Eight Inches' With 'Unkempt' Pubes (uh, thanks, I am gonna go vomit now....)

So yes this is a peek at who and what I follow on twitter.... pop culture, gay stuff, random sarcastic people... that's all perfectly normal, right?

Okay even if it isn't a normal view of the world -- and hell, what is normal anyway --- this last one from comedian Andy Borowitz makes it all worthwhile:

In Romney's world, corporations are people, people are robots, and dogs are luggage.

Ha! Love that one!

Reading The Bloggess Book...

2012-05-06T14:02:00.001-06:00

One of my favourite bloggers, who is also one of the biggest in the bloggy world, has just published her first book. She is Jenny Lawson who writes as The Bloggess, and the book is Let's Pretend This Never Happened. It is smart and funny, and oh yeah debuted at number one on The New York Times bestseller list. Jenny is like a Texas version of Tina Fey, with a crazier life and a way filthier mouth.

Lawson writes about health crises, infertility, loss, motherhood, drugs, crazy stuff at work, crazy families, and lots of taxidermy. She is such a good writer that I could relate, though we have so little in common. But I related to all her life stories because she is smart and funny and real and crazy and loving a hellluva writer and yep mostly crazy.

Any woman who buys a 5-foot metal chicken, which she then names Beyonce, just to drop it at her own front door and run away, all just to startle her husband, is aces in my books. Oh and the husband's reaction? Nothing. Blankly shuts the door and walks away, cuz thats not the strangest thing that has happened to him that day.

Chapter titles include I Was a Three-Year-Old Arsonist, No One Ever Taught Me Couch Etiquette, My Vagina Is Fine Thanks For Asking, and Draw Me A Fucking Dog. So you get the idea...

Example from the book: I just bought a fifty-year-old Cuban alligator dressed as a pirate. It apparently isn't weird, as it sort of goes with Hamlet con Schnitzel (a taxidermied mouse dressed up as Hamlet in a Shakespearean ruff collar) and a stuffed mounted half-squirrel in cowboy gear.

I learned stuff from Let's Pretend..., like it is somewhat sensible when someone brings their pet donkey into a bar, because it's illegal to leave an unattended donkey in your car in Texas.

Lawson is smart and funny and damaged. She believes that the most mortifying moments of our lives, the ones we’d like to pretend never happened, are actually the ones that define us. She shares all of her embarrassing moments proudly, and you may hurt yourself laughing.

I wish I had written this book; not only because is a blogger gone really big, but because the book is smart and touching and hysterically funny. Read it. But read it at home, because you will laugh out loud. A lot. I read it in airports and on planes, and as I laughed out loud over and over it became a little weird. People stared at me. Those judgey bastards....

Beautiful New Gay Marriage Ad...

2012-05-03T07:07:00.000-06:00

Last year an Australian TV commercial for marriage equality went viral and got us all watching and sighing and shedding the occasional tear.

Now there is this new commercial from our British friends, and I love its message and its simplicity and its heart and its tagline at the end: All men can be heroes. All men can be husbands. End marriage discrimination...

Watch it and let me know what you think...

Captain America On Gay Marriage...

2012-05-01T07:07:00.000-06:00

All-American actor Chris Evans, best known for Fantastic Four and Captain America, has spoken about his support for his gay brother and marriage equality several times before, and now as his star rises he is out there doing it again!

As he is doing press for his new movie The Avengers, Evans spoke about marriage equality to (of all places) Playboy Magazine.

When asked about his feelings on marriage equality Evans stated:
"Are you kidding me? It's insane that civil rights are being denied people in this day and age. It's embarrassing, and it's heartbreaking. It goes without saying that I'm completely in support of gay marriage. In 10 years we'll be ashamed that this was an issue."

Love him! If you aren't familiar with his work, Evans was charming and shirtless in the thriller Cellular, and he was charming and shirtless in Fantastic Four, and then he was charming and shirtless in last year's What's Your Number... hey, wait, I see a pattern...

See This Movie: Young Adult

2012-04-28T09:09:00.000-06:00

Another snowy Alberta weekend, another flick at home; it’s this time of year when last year’s biggest and best movies come out on DVD and Video-on-Demand (VOD), and this weekend we watched Young Adult.

This dark comedy starring Charlize Theron got good reviews and sank at the box office. I see why; this is not a mainstream Hollywood comedy --- no heroic underdog, no “meet cute” romance, no heartfelt lessons learned, no sweet ending.

Oscar winner Theron is brave and funny as Mavis, our lonely bitchy boozy “Young Adult” novelist. She is the vain, mean girl from high school who never grew up; the town remembers her as "the psychotic prom queen bitch.” Mavis is cruel, self-centered and self-pitying. And while I didn't like her, I sure did like watching her.
The movie is dark, the cast is stellar. It was great to see Jill Eikenberry again. Patton Oswalt may be my new hero. Patrick Wilson is just hot. And Up In The Air director Jason Reitman shows he is one of our generation’s best.

Mavis is a drunken wreck, bored in her big city life, so she comes back to Mercury, the small town where she grew up, a place she dismisses: “Did I really get that much better? Or did everyone else get that much worse?”

She is intent on stealing back her old boyfriend, who is happily married and new father - a domestic life she compares to being held hostage.

Young Adult challenges the conventional Hollywood wisdom that a protagonist must be likable. It ignores movie norms about high school, small-town life, heterosexuality, Minnesota and the capacity of human beings to grow.

This is not a light or lighthearted movie. Theron shows her character's nasty and snarky side, and also shows the pain and fear beneath it. Young Adult is fearless and funny, a brave and somewhat cynical look at people who don't grow up. This movie will get a split reaction - it did in our house. I liked it. See Young Adult.

Alfie's birthday fundraiser...

2012-04-26T07:48:00.000-06:00

It's no secret that Alfred is the non-human love of my life... and today the little dude is five years old!

So while we may have a toy or two or twelve for the little furball, it is a tradition on alfred lives here to mark this occasion in a bigger way.

So in honour of the birthday of the world's cutest canine, also known as Alfred, Alfredo, Alfie, furball, ADD Alfred, Ewok, Mooch Pooch, Beagle Wannabe, Alfie Poop, Little Dude, and The Instigator ... here's the deal:

As I know that Alfie is more pampered than your average pooch, we are gonna celebrate his birthday by raising money for the Humane Society. For every comment left on this post today and tomorrow, April 26 and 27, we will donate $1 from Alfie's allowance to the Humane Society. Last year we donated $40... How much money will Alfie raise this year?

Leave a comment and help shake the little dude's piggy bank!

Not Your Average Vibrator Movie...

2012-04-24T13:01:00.000-06:00

First I read that Lysol began as a douche. Then I read that vibrators began as feather dusters gone astray. Now my eyes hurt. And I gotta stop hanging out on twitter....

As it turns out, that vibrator feather duster bit was actually from a movie coming soon, called Hysteria. It stars the talented and ever-so-cute Hugh Dancy and yes it is about the creation of the vibrator. I don't remember that from high school history class.

Thanks to Downton Abbey, we all seem hungry for soapy romantic comedy/drama set amid the hoity toity accents of British high society. Add in the invention of the vibrator, and you've got that with a twist in Hysteria, about a young doctor who runs afoul of a spirited feminist as he strives to invent a new device to cure his female patients of hysteria.... hmmm....

What’s this motorized feather duster invented by his buddy? Wonder if that has any other possible uses? And why aren't I surprised it was invented by Rupert Everett?

Here's the trailer. Looks like fun....

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... on another subject entirely, my weekly post at Sprocket Ink goes up today. It's a change of pace for me... it's Canadian, it's political, it's fairly serious; check it out at sprocket ink.com ...

Happy Jelly Bean Day!

2012-04-22T11:11:00.000-06:00

Forget all those other so-called important occasions, forget Christmas or that today is your spouse's birthday... today April 22 is a holiday of major importance... National Jelly Bean Day!

How do you celebrate? National Jelly Bean Day is a time to enjoy gobs and gobs of jelly beans. While they are especially popular at Easter, jelly beans are popular year round. Cuz they're awesome.

While my extensive research, also known as a five-second Google search, did not discover the origin of National Jelly Bean Day, I would guess Ronald Reagan had something to do with it. That dude loved his jelly beans!

Fun fact: Jelly beans date back to at least the 1860's. Advertisements promoted sending jelly beans to Union troops fighting in the Civil War. The original candy maker is unknown. Once again, I would guess Ronald Reagan. That guy was really old when he was President.

Jelly bean flavours are limited only by the imagination of candy makers. If you've never enjoyed the multitude of flavors in a box of gourmet jelly beans, I suggest you head right out to the store and buy yourself some. And buy a box for me too. My jellybean gumball machine is empty (and yes I really have one of those).

My husband has been known to surprise me with boxes of Jelly Belly's. Tonight would be good timing, honey...

Favourite flavours? I like licorice, green apple, sour cherry and root beer. Oh, okay, all of 'em... what's your favourite flavour?

(a version of this was originally posted April 22/2011)

Pajamas & Coffee & Vibrators....

2012-04-19T09:09:00.002-06:00

My bloggy buddy Mary McCarthy of Pajamas and Coffee has just published her first e-book, called The Hump Day Diaries. And it's about damn time.

I love Mary. She is smart and sexy and talented and hysterically funny and gay-loving and batshit crazy, all in a good way.

When I first entered the bloggy world she was the first big-time blogger to be warm and welcoming to me with some attention and feedback. It meant the world to me and still does. Sure, I later realized she's not actually so big time (love ya Mary!) but really, she should be.

Hump Day Diaries is a collection of 19 "lost" posts from Pajamas and Coffee, published on Wednesdays ("hump day") and focusing on geeky naive adventures with sex toys and dirty words, with chapters like Fuck A Duck and Bad Boyfriend Voodoo Doll. Keep it classy, Mary!

Also featured is one new essay, about a $100 vibrator. A hundred dollar vibrator? Hell, where I grew up you could get two vibrators, a barrel of flavoured lube, and a happy ending for less than that. Or uh so I've heard...

I remember reading these posts when they first came out. I was entertained and amazed and felt prudish. Reading them again, I chuckled and laughed and admired the writer's skill even more.

As Mary says, she is a humour writer, not a sex writer, so these essays are funny rather than sexy. Or maybe they are sexy for some, I don't know, she writes about her boobs a lot, and boobs really do not do it for me. Apparently Mary's are enormous and fabulous, in case you were wondering.

How non-sexy is this? Mary watches her first porn and is surprised at how graphic it is. Um, girlfriend, that's WHAT PORN IS. Or uh so I've heard...

Mary writes that the most popular post here is Fuck a Duck, her first sex toy review, about a rubber ducky vibrator she names Johnny Depp and has to give CPR to. It's hysterical. My favourites are the Clone A Willy posts where Mary discovers her husband's penis is crooked and suggests that merits a handicapped parking space at Target. Or maybe my fave is Mary Had A Little Lamb, where she reviews a talking sheep blow up doll. And invokes the spirit of Tom Cruise. Awesomeness.

You can buy The Hump Day Diaries e-book for $3.99 on Amazon. Get it and laugh. And please Mary stop pretending that was your first porn experience...

Note: The author sent me a reading copy of this book. This review is entirely my own, and I received no compensation for writing this review. If she really cared, jelly beans would have been nice...

One Million Hateful Moms...

2012-04-17T18:11:00.000-06:00

After failing to force JC Penney to fire out lesbian Ellen DeGeneres as its spokesperson, and failing to bully Toys-R-Us into pulling a gay Archie comic from its shelves, the anti-gay One Million Moms group has now targeted apparel retailer Urban Outfitters over a photo in its April catalog.

The pic is above. It's of two women kissing, and apparently is going to bring down civilization as we know it.

One Million Moms, which is apparently linked to the homophobic American Family Association, is urging its moms to email Urban Outfitters and demand that they stop the circulation of the catalog.

One Million Moms is demanding that an apology be mailed to every home that received the photo. Get a grip, you hateful crackpots. If you don't like the catalog, don't shop there -- that is democracy. If you don't like Ellen DeGeneres then it is your choice to not shop at that company, it is not your right to demand she be fired. And mailing out apologies? Who has ever done that? And don't you people owe humanity an effing apology?

As Ellen pointed out, for a group called "One Million Moms" you have like 46,000 Facebook fans... where's the rest of you?

Since the Ellen controversy, there's hundreds of funny and cool Facebook groups against you including my favourite, Four Million Moms and Dads Telling "One Million Moms" to SHUT UP! ... Good advice, hateful moms... take it!

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.... on another topic entirely, my weekly Tuesday post at sprocketink.com goes up today. Check it out, especially if "Get The Knack" means anything to you music fans!

Child Actors Against Kirk Cameron...

2012-04-15T19:11:00.000-06:00

A few weeks ago former teen heartthrob Kirk Cameron was on CNN's Piers Morgan show, and the actor turned evangelist called homosexuality "unnatural" and "ultimately destructive to so many of the foundations of civilization". Let that heart light shine thru, Kirk!

Several of his former co-stars quickly denounced his comments, including Tracey Gold and Alan Thicke. Many bloggers took aim at him as well --- including me, cuz he is clearly a douchebag.

Now comes the best response of all... former childhood stars are rallying against Kirk Cameron in a new Funny or Die video, taking aim at his controversial remarks on homosexuality.

I love this one!

The group calls itself "CCOKC," or Child Celebrities Opposing Kirk Cameron. Good name for a smart and funny video; watch it here...

Love Coffee, Love Gadgets...

2012-04-12T08:08:00.000-06:00

How much coffee is too much? How many gadgets are too many? And is our plethora of coffee machines about the coffee or about the machines?

I probably have two cups of coffee a day, plus tons of water, and diet coke, and tea as well. So yes I pee a lot.

When I lived alone, I rarely made coffee at home... I hate the instant stuff, and making a pot just wasn't sensible.

Then I got this.. the first generation Tassimo coffee maker. It was cool and alien looking and brought together my love of coffee and my extreme love of shiny new gadgets. Technology wise, it was a big step forward, even though it was loud and not so fast and broke down too often.

Then a couple of years later I got the newer updated Tassimo after they changed manufacturers from Braun to Bosch. It was faster and quieter and didn't break as often. Looove...

After we got married and built our house, we got new appliances including this coffee maker, because we are married and live together and we can share a coffee pot now.

And later we treated ourselves to a fancy dancy espresso machine...
A few months later the Tassimo was out for repair and we were feeling coffee-deprived, so when we saw them on sale we bought another one. And then they sent us a replacement for the broken one, so we now have a spare. Let's call it bench strength (hey, lookie at me with a sports reference).

So you think we'd be good for coffee right? I mean we have all the equipment, and I go to Starbucks so often they mailed me a personalized gold card.

But.. there is a Cuisinart Keurig machine that we have been stalking for a year, not being able to rationalize the expense. Obviously we don't "need" it. But we love it. It looks cool, has some amazing flavours we can't get otherwise, there's a cool attachment to use your own beans for a single serving coffee, and then I read that Starbucks had left Tassimo for Keurig. So it was only a matter of time....

And eureka --- then it was on sale, and we had points to cash in, so we got it for less than half price, and yes it now lives proudly on our kitchen counter...

The new machine is fantastic. We stocked up on all new flavours of coffee. And we should be good now, right?

I guess the expression about "boys and their toys" does ring true here... while these all make good coffee, the argument could possibly be made that with two people in the house, we do not need them all... or do we?

Ooh, but then recently I had a sample from this Nespresso machine, and it was awfully good....
Plus my secret boyfriend George Clooney does Nespresso ads. Oy, we don't have enough counter space for this. I wonder if there is a 12-step program for coffee gadget addiction....

My next fave TV show?

2012-04-10T11:11:00.001-06:00

From Aaron Sorkin, who brought us The West Wing, Sports Night, and The Social Network, comes this new HBO series, The Newsroom... and it looks awesome!

Sorkin writes stuff that is fast and funny and smart, and this looks like it will be no different, in a Network-y kind of way... plus Jane Fonda is in the cast! I'll be watching in June...

Big Fat Popcorn Lawsuit...

2012-04-08T10:10:00.002-06:00

I love movies, and love love popcorn, so popcorn at the movies is always a treat. A big fat eighteen-dollar unhealthy fat-laden gooey barrel-sized treat.

Every so often I read about how bad movie popcorn is for us, even versus the relatively healthy air-popped stuff we make at home. I read that a large tub of movie popcorn has 1,200 calories, 980 milligrams of sodium, and 60 grams of saturated fat... but hey I usually skip the butter-flavoured goop topping, so it's pretty much like having a medium-sized apple, isn't it?

Now there is a new mini-scandal in the world of theatre popcorn, and I for one would like to raise a glass of butter topping to Joshua Thompson for this righteous if frivolous lawsuit: he has sued AMC theaters for overcharging on concessions!

On December 26, Thompson paid $8 for a Coke and a pack of Goobers at a Detroit theatre, nearly triple the $2.73 he paid for the same items at a nearby drug store, and the suit accuses AMC theaters of violating the Michigan Consumer Protection Act by charging grossly excessive prices for snacks. The suit seeks refunds for customers who were overcharged, a civil penalty against the theatre chain and any other relief the judge might grant. My first question... only eight bucks for Goobers AND a Coke? That would be like $12 here!

Of course movie snacks are a ripoff, and we all know it, and yes sometimes people smuggle in food under their coats (no names, people); but this lawsuit is total silliness, as no one put a gun to his head and forced him to buy the treats at that price (yes, I am assuming there was no gun involved).

And let's face it, in the movie theatre business, concessions are where the profit is... making $2.8 billion on Avatar just doesn't cut it, they also need to charge you nineteen bucks for a soda and extra-large popcorn.

My beef with the concession stand isn't the prices, it's the crappy service... you people are making like 98% profit on my diet Coke, and paying those kids behind the counter minimum wage, couldn't you at least schedule more of them so I don't have to wait in a long twisty line to be ripped off?

We go to the movies far less than we used to, yes partially because of the huge cost of tickets and treats, and partially because of the rude crowds and sticky floors, but mostly because so many movies suck... enough with the Twilight and New Year's Eve crap, people, bring on some good flicks!

Sprocket Me, Baby!

2012-04-05T08:08:00.007-06:00

The wise, witty, and oh so snarky folks at Sprocket Ink asked me to come on board as a writer there. I was excited to jump into their smart sassy take on news and entertainment... and The Celebrity Apprentice, which doesn't qualify as either news or entertainment.

You can find them at sprocketink.com and I will be posting there every Tuesday.

My first post went up this week, and without giving it's deep intellectual secrets away, it has something to do with a big movie, a big ship and this monstrously big hat .... check it out...

http://sprocketink.com/8-reasons-to-skip-titanic-3d/

I am a liberal...

2012-04-03T08:08:00.000-06:00

Here in Canada we have like 23 major political parties, and the top three are Liberal, New Democratic, and Conservative. The ruling Conservatives were formerly the Progressive Conservative Party, but they understandably changed their name now that there is not a fucking thing progressive about them.

And while yes, our system is flawed and filled with morons, we do often look southward in amazement at what the hell goes on down there in the good ol' US of A.

Politics everywhere seem to be getting crazier. Or maybe we just see and know more due to the internet and constant media coverage.

In all the western countries, most of the major parties have moved to the centre to get votes, and moved philosophies around to get votes, so that the meaning of "liberal" has been blurred to the point that I'm not sure what the word means today. And for many it seems to be a bad word. Hey, I don't embrace the word and I am totally liberal...

However, with this reminder of the accomplishments of liberals from commentator Lawrence O'Donnell, I'll wear the label proudly.

Happy April Foolish Day....

2012-04-01T07:47:00.000-06:00

It's April 1st... happy April Fool's Day!

April Fools' Day is celebrated on April 1 every year. Sometimes referred to as All Fools' Day, April 1 is not a national holiday, but is widely recognized and celebrated as a day when people play all kinds of jokes, pranks and foolishness.

Here in Canada, the silliness is supposed to last only until noon, but in other countries it goes on all damn day. I guess for a fake holiday with no rules, you can make it up as you go along.

I've never been a big fan of the April foolishness, as I am not much of a prank lover, and I believe in silliness all year long. But some people really know how to run with this one.

According to The Museum of Hoaxes, here is the number one April Fool's Day hoax of all time:

On April 1, 1957 the British news show Panorama broadcast a three-minute segment about a bumper spaghetti harvest in southern Switzerland. The success of the crop was attributed both to an unusually mild winter and to the "virtual disappearance of the spaghetti weevil."

The audience heard Richard Dimbleby, the show's highly respected anchor, discussing the details of the spaghetti crop as they watched video footage of a Swiss family pulling pasta off spaghetti trees and placing it into baskets. The segment concluded with the assurance that, "For those who love this dish, there's nothing like real, home-grown spaghetti.

"The Swiss Spaghetti Harvest hoax generated an enormous response. Hundreds of people phoned the BBC wanting to know how they could grow their own spaghetti tree. To this query the BBC diplomatically replied, "Place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best."

What can I say? That is effing brilliant....