elephant; grow yourself.

2011-11-13T05:54:00.001-08:00

I need somebody to comprehend the profoundness of life with me. I need somebody to muse on what it means to be alive, and to tell me what they think. To try or not try to convince me that there is something more than a vessel, something after or something before. Just to sit and watch the world, and help me piece back together the pieces of feeling that flutter around this little box I sit in inside my head. To make that day feel real, take away the surreal, or at least turn the surreal into something tangible, processable. Make the movements and the words and thoughts feel worth while. To ponder on the experience of spending a day where everything you see is tinged with the idea of death, and what the idea of death means to life. Where it fits in the scale. I presumed I knew, but faced with it's hollow lifeless face, I feel I do not. I do not feel like we embrace it, because if we did it would define our actions so much more, I feel we would consider more. Everything looks different when you see it through a pinhole in the box. The event is all consuming, but you must live on anyway. Trying to live through death. Trying to rationalise feelings that only occur with genuine loss. Doesn't have to be your loss. Loss creates a dense and saturated air that fills a space in seconds. It makes your face swell and your appetite diminish. Makes you wonder what you are actually doing, because realistically you just do not know. Nobody does. And I am coming to believe this is the point. Death wants you to know it is there, and it will take the opportunity to remind you, in hope that you go on to live with it in mind. And maybe as that pinhole in the box gets larger, an the shadows of hollow faces dull (but do not disappear) the meaning of actions become more profilic, the words become more meaningful as they are hinged on fragility. The hard part is to make sure you carry it with you. Carry the meaning and let it help you live another day, another year in the light, and not in the darkness of ignorance.

2011-08-01T06:19:00.000-07:00

2011-08-01T05:53:00.000-07:00

2011-08-01T05:43:00.000-07:00

2011-08-01T05:08:00.000-07:00

2011-08-01T05:05:00.000-07:00

It's been a while..

2011-08-01T04:54:00.000-07:00

2011-06-11T07:16:00.000-07:00

2011-05-25T17:47:00.001-07:00

I just haven't stopped. 3 weeks and I just haven't stopped. And I don't even get to stop yet. Not till Friday. Friday is the day. I'm gonna drink so much free booze my brain melts. And admire my own handy work on those damn exhibition boards, seeing as I've practically sanded my hands to the bone.

Did get an A5 for my first year though. I cannot describe my delight. Pwnd.

This summer I'm making a zine. And a film. And several books about compassionate mindfullness and mental health strategies. Just watch me try, it's gonna be funny.

I DON'T HAVE TIME TO SIT DOWN, SIR.

2011-05-03T04:10:00.000-07:00

T-minus 8 days and counting.

2011-04-28T12:33:00.000-07:00

It's important to invest in design because design is another persons idea. It's another persons considered influence and collection of decision based upon another experience. Even if the design is without function, it is still important to invest in design primarily for aesthetics. It's important because environment is important, visual stimuli is vital, and good design will always aim to be sustainable. Furthermore it is equally as important that our materials are reusable, and the construction is durable. If these efforts are present in the design process, design will flourish and the world will work slightly better.

2011-04-20T07:05:00.000-07:00

Funnily enough, out of all the pictures we took for this stupid project, I think this was one of the best. Originally classed as a reject, but the more I look back at it the more I like it. It doesn't look as 'out of place'.

2011-04-20T07:03:00.000-07:00

2011-04-20T07:01:00.000-07:00

Things/People/Places/Recent

2011-04-20T06:44:00.001-07:00

I've been busier than I think I've ever been recently. End of year stuff 4th years exhibition, portfolio prep and more exhibitions ontop of that.It's nice to see my work all coming together now, for some reason I chose Saddam Hussein as my starting point for the self initiated (?) and miraculously, It's actually getting somewhere. The thing is that I have never actually successfully finished a self initiated FMP, so this could be a big first.
We also signed for a new flat this week, it's beautiful, it's cheap and it's gonna be a lot of fun living with Rosie and Kath next year. Woooooo.

I heart Glasgow.

2011-03-30T07:33:00.001-07:00

sicksicksicksicksick

vomit

2011-03-28T05:03:00.000-07:00

Day & Night

2011-03-27T15:12:00.000-07:00

Spaced cures my internal sadness temporarily. I love these two.

2011-03-15T07:05:00.000-07:00

Just as it was this time last year, the weather is mental and the city is beautiful. From today I really am going to be making more of an effort to get out and about with my camera. Just the other night me, Ellie and Rory walked through the university campus from the other side of the west end at about 3am and it was just beautiful. The quite hum of the motorway in the distance breaking into the stillness on the early morning. Because Glasgow is the Eastern SanFran and all you can ever see in front of you is rolling hills lined with beautiful geometric Tenements you feel like you're walking through the set of a movie. You reach the top of one hill and you're greeted with this huge expansive sky stretching accross the city in front of you. The pink and purples of the peeping sun break accorss the rooftops and the street lights illuminate the wet ground with a golden glow and everything feels magical. Not to mention how picturesq the Uni campus is, with it's lovely old buildings and huge dark gothic cathedrals. It was fantastic.

So today I'm enjoying some relaxed studio time. Trying to box off my essay so that all I have for the rest of the year is project work. A group of folk are building a compassionate space in the corner. I had a crawl in the other morning, you can't even tell you're in the studio. It's brilliant. Today is also especially brilliant because Jules made me cake <3>

2011-03-08T15:30:00.000-08:00

This is going to sting like a motherfucker.

2011-02-27T13:45:00.000-08:00

oh my fucking god the frustration.

2011-02-24T03:07:00.001-08:00

Crop cirlces are totally my new fascination. I've watched a few programs, read a few essays and what not, and I can honestly say, I'm game. I'm down with that shit.

Documentary #1

Now, I understand that a lot of people will dismiss evidence over and over again because they can't actually undertake the process of discovery themselves. But as far as we know, and it's been proven again and again, mathematics and science are the communal language, and set the rules for basic conduct in the universe. And they don't lie. Weather you beleive we exist or not doesn't matter, because for the place and the time that we are in, 2+2 does equal 4. And it will continue to do so because it's absolute. And as we know it these numbers and structures make up everything in our tiny little world.

Now when you start to consider recent happenings like the rage over DMT (this crazy molecule that apparently has effect of taking you to a higher consciousness, Documentary #2), you have to wonder wether dismissing the idea of '5th dimensions' and actual higher beings might just be silly. Maybe we are just massivley missing the point here. Communication is communication, and really it's all we have.

Plus, the people who tell us these things aren't just wackos anymore, these are people who can understand the way things work, to a degree of completeness in some cases. Scientists, mathematicians, historians, anthrapologists, archiologists, geologists. People who know what they're saying, and now they're saying something the media has made us think is insane.

Well fuck the media. I'm sick to fucking death of being conditioned in every single fucking way. And if it means people think I'm stupid/insane/paranoid then whatever, I'm over it. And I am in no way expecting people to take my word for it, but the information is out there if you want to find it, and there is a ton of it. Lots and lots and lots of information.

2011-02-23T06:42:00.001-08:00

I fucking love working to Slipknot.

2011-02-22T14:28:00.001-08:00

2011-02-22T13:51:00.000-08:00

familia.